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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:45:49 GMT -5
3Piece Set storm into their lockerroom visably upset.
Ax: How can he do this to us. I hate Canada. What a crock!!
FC: Maybe we can go back to the council and get this dumb law reversed.
Cole: They'll probably be another dumb law after that. Plus I don't want to put the suit back on. I have another plan.
Ax: Whatcha thinking?
Cole: Well Maine is really just a short ferry ride away. I'm thinking we flash a few US Dollars at the Port Authority and they'll let us order some barbed wire from the good ole United States.
FC: Good ole, ha
Cole: Dude, that is where I live you shirt wearing fairy.
FC: It's a kilt.
Cole: Whatever.
Ax: Your plan just might work. US Dollars seem to make you king around here.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:46:11 GMT -5
<Note pinned to 3PS locker room door>
Dear Gentlemen in 3PS
It has come to my attention that you are considering making a foray into Maine and procuring some barbed wire for your match and bringing it back across the border. Just to show you that there are certainly no hard feelings on my part, I would like to inform you that anyone caught smuggling paraphanelia across the Canadian border that goes against Canadian federal laws (which the Thomas Prince Law falls under) they are subject to up to 50 years in Canadian prison, AND if said goods are confiscated and duty is not paid on goods crossing the border, you are now also subject to U.S. Border laws. And seeing as to how barbed wire can be constrtued as a lethal weapon, you may be subject to prosecution under the Patriot Act under US Federal laws.
Just something for you guys to think about. Suffice it to say if you are arrested, the shot at the titles are gone, Firechild's title is gone, and under OOWF bylaws your contracts will be terminated immediately without any compensation.
Have a good day kids
GM the Rick
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:46:42 GMT -5
FF Capslock and Stank walk by 3PS lockeroom. They read the note GM the Rick left.
Stank - Those guys are really hard up on getting shreadded in our next match.
FF Caps - C'mon I have an idea.
FF Capslock leads Stank to the GM's office.
FF Caps - Yo Rick.
GMtR - Hold on a sec.
FF Caps and Stank wait while the Rick finishes wiping his seat.
Stank - um... was that sand?
GMtR - Yeah. 3 Piece Set was here earlier. How can I help you.
FF Caps - Well you see, we've heard that 3PS want us in a barbed-wire steel cage match and that's just fine with us, but we understand that there are various Canadian laws preventing such a match so... (giggling) I'd like to offer an alternative match.
GMtR - Spill it.
FF Caps - How about we wrestle in an OOWF first. The debut of the... wait for it... BLOOD & ROSES MATCH!
GMtR - I'm listening.
FF Caps - Instead of barbed wire how about we line the steel cage with thorns. Hence the name. Roses... Blood... get it?
Stank - Are you kidding m...
FF Caps - Shhhh. Well?
GMtR -
FF Caps - What do you think?
GMtR -
FF Caps - Well you just sit there and think about it. C'mon Stank
FF Caps and Stank walk out of the Rick's office. Stank turns to FF Caps...
Stank - What the hell?
FF Caps - Actually I meant that as a joke but now that I think about it... it ain't half bad.
Stank - You know Rick will just dismiss it as... douchebaggery and end it at that. Besides procuring thornbushes won't be any easier than getting barbed wire.
FF Caps - Listen to me. I wasn't serious. I was just making light of 3PS going through all this effort to get a devil's rope match with us.
Stank - Devil's wha? Well I think the humor is lost.
FF Caps - Hey I never claimed it was a funny joke.
Stank - Dude, Jokes are supposed to be funny... like this one. How many members of 3 Piece Set does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
FF Caps - I don't know. How many?
Stank - None... Assholes never see the light.
Stank and FF Caps laugh then walk off camera.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:47:29 GMT -5
Niles and AA are in the lockerroom when Mcroplay knocks on the door and enters.
NA: Hey, Micro.
MP: Guys, I've noticed something odd this week.
A: What's that?
MP: Well, we have this eight-man elimination match with Harris, CD, Dawg and Alt. It's going to tear the house down. And yet there hasn't been much of anything being said about it in promos. I mean, other than Harris getting drunk and trying to kill Beat.
NA: Yeah, you're right. AA, what's up with that?
AA: Not sure. But you're right. MP, any idea?
MP: Nope.
NA: Huh...
AA: Maybe the writers couldn't get work visas?
MP: Nah, they're here. (Microplay opens a closet door full of writers, madly typing away.)
NA: Huh... Maybe another "Can't fight n the parking lot" clause?
AA (Looking through the local law ordinances): Nope, not here.
MP: Huh...
AA: This is a really lame promo.
NA: Yeah, who wrote this?
AA: Let's see (pulls script from gym bag). This script written and approved by the Canadian Anti-Violence Association.
NA: You know, that wasn't very funny either.
MP: I agree.
AA: Huh...
Microplay leaves Niles and AA's locker room.
AA: Well, I guess that's what happens when we blew our wad on lesbian porn and turning Beast heel last week.
NA: Yep...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:48:11 GMT -5
a cloud of smoke envelops the room that Attitude Adjuster and Niles Anderson are in.
Underdawg appears!
UD: Niles. You are lucky to have won our match. You are lucky to have survived our encounter at all after you two attacked me. You will not find your luck to save you this week.
NA: Oh the hell with this! Andy! Attack!
AA and NA spring forward to attack Underdawg when the cloud of smoke gets thicker. They attack the thin air.
AA: How does he do that?
A cloud of smoke envelops Canadian Dragon's room.
CD: Underdawg? It's about time you showed up.
CD: Underdawg? Come on, I know it's you...
Underdawg walks in through the door.
UD: Are you ready?
CD: As ready as I will be.
UD: Will you be as fierce to our opponents this week as you were to me in the Ultimate Hell? Will you be as cunning as when you brought back Harris from the nether regions?
CD: With you, I had to be that fierce just to survive you and the cell. With Harris, he just needed a little nudge.
UD: Very good. Make sure the others are ready to fight too. I look forward to this.
Underdawg leaves. A cloud of smoke rises in Dragon's room.
CD: What the hell?
Hardbody Harris comes out of the bathroom with a fire extinguisher.
HH: I'm sorry, Dragon. Fievel set fire to my towels again. Had to douse the flames. Did I miss something?
CD: Nah...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:48:54 GMT -5
attitude adjuster and niles anderson are hacking and coughing from all the smoke they inhaled left by underdawg. then the beast comes crashing through the wall.
NA: oh for cryin out loud beast! it's hard enough to breath in here, you gotta kick up all this dust too?
B: sorry. so. what's up.
AA: actually, it's good your here. maybe we can get your opinion on this...
B: ok.
AA: well, microplay came here earlier and we realized something. the promos this week just havent been that good. we think we might've blown our load last week with the porn and bringing you aboard.
B: well, i don't think they've been that bad. i mean, you two haven't been very vocal, so that's a bit of a problem. but that thing with the drunken hardbody? well, i dont mean to brag but...
NA: but you weren't even there for that.
B: well i know i wasn't there, but i... you know... what? is there kayfabe here all of a sudden or something?? jeez!
AA: ha! no. we gotcha. but dude. you gotta see the promo we just had when microplay was here. just terrible man.
B: you guys are too hard on yourselves. did it ever occur to you that maybe it's not your fault? that maybe microplay is just an utter bore?
NA: you know... now that you mention it...
AA: yeah beast. i think you're right. wow. i feel much better now! i knew it was a good idea join up with you.
B: you keep supplying the underage asian prostitutes and i see no reason this friendship can last a very long time.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:49:18 GMT -5
Niles - you know what I think we need to get this promo bandwagon running again folks?
Beast - Something for me to pop out of?
AA - A colostomy bag?
Niles - No, none of that. I think we need to hit the ring for a good old hometown welcome for yours truly. Follow my lead.
*All is silent in the Londonderry arena in Nova Scotia. All of a sudden *BOOM* Pyro goes off and What You Gon Do blares over the loud speaker. The crowd is going absolutely wild over this. Niles Anderson has come home to Nova Scotia. Attitude Adjuster and Beast are following him as he sucks in all the cheering. The entire song of What You Gon Do plays TWICE before the crowd lets Niles talk. Attitude and Beast are blown away by this crowd reaction. Finally, Niles gets the mic.*
Niles - FINALLY!
*The crowd goes nuts at this! He's here! His first time back home in years and he has the belt in hand. Nova Scotia's hero is home at last and the crowd is loving it.*
Niles - FINALLY, 100PM WILL NOT BE GETTING SUED FOR GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT! But I am HOME BITCHES!!!
*The crowd is going mad. Truly, this is a heros welcome.*
Niles - Well, I would be home if this were Halifax. Calling Londonderry home is like calling my bowels after a hot taco dinner my favourite piece of anatomy. This place is the shits.
*Just as quickly as that, the cheers turn to boos and Niles is a villain again.*
Niles - Hell, all of you are a bunch of leeches anyways. How much fanmail did I get from NS BEFORE I became the champ? Huh? Huh? None! All of a sudden, in typical Canadian fashion, one of us makes it, and the rest all go "oh, he's from here, beause we're awesome". NEWSFLASH BITCHES: YOU'RE NOT!
*The crowd starts throwing things in the ring including their chairs.*
AA - Wow, this crowd really is full of leaches. They're even stealing history right now.
*A chair comes towards Beast and he punches it causing it to shatter in midair.*
Niles - ONE MORE CHAIR GETS CHUCKED IN HERE AND I'LL SEND BEAST THROUGH THE CROWD!!!
*The chair throwing stops abruptly.*
Niles - Now onto the match we have. With this crew, folks, you best believe that 100PM is sufficiently backed. And there is not one single person on the other team who I have not pinned. Each one of them has fallen to the wrath of either the Steed-DT or the Precision Incision.
AA - True dat.
Niles - Plus we have Attitude Adjuster, the diamond in the rough. The guy who gets it done and the future IC champion. And Beast, the man who pops out of things randomly and ruins shit. Believe me when I say Canadian Dragon's shit will be ruined. Underdawg shit will be ruined. The guy who's supposed to be my new running buddy, Chris Alt's shit will be ruined. And Hardbody Harris, who by no means has the hardest body nor is he #1 ANYTHING in the OOWF: His shit will be ruined.
Beast - You best believe.
Niles - and finally, former world champion Microplay. A dominant champ when he had the belt. And myself, current world champion. How many world champions do you have on your team boys? Former or otherwise? Oh, I believe Dragon held it for a whopping 4 days! Hell, Feival could probably beat that record. Let's just say, at Londonderry, my "hometown", the 4 of you will fall victim to mass amounts of punishment.
*Niles drops the mic as What You Gon Do blares again, the crowd booing just as crazily as they were cheering. Niles, AA and Beast head backstage. As they hit backstage, Niles turns to the boys.*
Niles - How was that? Do you think that solved our promo issue?
AA - It was a bit longwinded.
Beast - I liked the "your shit will be ruined part".
Niles - Yeah, I kinda improved that one. I thought it might've worked.
AA - Yeah, it went well. But this still doesn't top lesbians.
Niles (smiling) - Well, my friend...
*Niles slowly pulls a videotape entitled "Vicious Vixens with Voluptuous Vaginas Pt 7" from his pants.*
Beast - Ahg dude, that was in your pants?
Niles - you don't have to touch it. Anyways, I stole it from Hardbody's Lockerroom.
Beast - Ahg dude, that was probably in his pants!
AA - Put it on! Put it on!
*Niles puts it in the closest VCR and tries to find the screen it's playing from.*
Niles - that's strange, I hear the music, I hear the moaning, but where's the screen.
*All of a sudden the crowd erupts in cheers. Camera shift to the jumbotron, and lesbian porn is playing for everyone in Londonderry.*
AA - I think we should go.
Niles - I think you're right.
*Fade to Black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:49:38 GMT -5
3PS are looking over the idea for the Blood & Roses match, and chilling out as they are wont to do.
Firechild picks up his GORGEOUS Takamine acoustic guitar and strums....
FC: Every rose has it's thorn....
<all the groupies immediatley go very very wet...>
FC: Every stank has it's smell.... Every keyboard has ist's cir-cuit-reeeeeee.... (all goes very Bon Jovi...)
(Ax & Cole collapse in laughter as Firechild's spot-on Brett Michaels impression continues)
FC: Every Set has it's gold. Every other can go to hell. Everyone can see it's meant to be.........
As the last plaintiff note rings out, he stands, smashes the guitar and downs a full magnum of whisky.
Ax & Cole look on, as the girls swarm over the Onslaught champion....
Ax: Hey man, you're back, I knew that Seraph couldn't get to my boy like that....
CC: Yeah man, the same as you ever were.
FC: Hell, I gotta go to the john, that whisky's gone straight for my kidneys....
CC: I think thats the case from last night man...
Firechild stands up and sways to the mens room. He leans over the sink, and looks in the mirror.
The lights blink off, and he sees Seraph behind him.
S: The same as you ever were?
Firechild spins as the lights come back up, swinging at the air, Seraph is nowhere to be seen.
FC: No, they can't know, I've come so far.... YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME!
He steadies himself, and looks in the mirror, sweating.
He fixes his hair, composes himself, and heads back to the Set, with just a little less swagger than before, nervously clenching his fists........
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:50:00 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams walks into a locker room where Semaj B is sitting. Semaj stands, and prepares to defend himself.**
LD: “Chill. I’m not here to start trouble.”
SB: “…”
LD: “Look, you and I have our differences, and we’re far from done with each other…”
SB: “But?”
LD: “I think we might be able to help each other out. You’ve got a match with Johnny this week, and I’ve got a shot at the intercontinental title.”
SB: “Which is ‘eld by my mate Soul Dragon.”
LD: “I know, I know…I’m not goin’ there. I’m really only concerned about your match.”
SB: “Keep talkin’”
LD: “Johnny is in serious need of an Attitude Adjustment …”
**Attitude adjuster pokes his head in the door**
AA: “Somebody looking for me?”
LD: “No, man. Poor choice of words. Sorry.”
AA: “No worries, just building up my face time.”
**Attitude Adjuster leaves**
SB: “You were sayin’?”
LD: “If you were to…teach Johnny a lesson in your match, I could see an Intercontinental title match in your future.”
SB: “If you win.”
LD: “That, old boy, is my problem. Just think about it.”
**L.D. leaves, and Semaj sits back down, shaking his head.**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:50:29 GMT -5
Scene cuts to inside the Local hockey arena, and we see two members of wCw, JW Westgaard and Capellan, walk up to the boards. JW opens one the doors in the boards.
JW: Damn its good to be back where Hockey is a cultural mainstay! <JW steps through the boards and begins skating around>
Capellan: so we're doin what today?
JW: You'll see....
Wilder, comes wadling in in full goalie gear: I've got a bad feeling about this......
Capellan steps onto the ice and begins laughing his ass off : you so screwed ....JW's gonn launch 80 mile an hour Vulcanized rubber bull--OOOOOFFFF!
with that JW checks Cap right into the boards.
Cap: I suppose I deserved that for making your ass go bungee jumping...Dick
JWW: come on guys now this is a rush!!!!!
Wilder, sorta skating into the crease: Shit.....dude next week we're goin' rockclimbing or wakeboarding.
JWW: whatever....coming at ya
with that JW lauches a slapshot at Wilder, pegging him right in the mask.
Wilder: holy shit!!!! That thing was moving.....do it again!
with that capellan gets up, skates over and he and JW begin firing pucks at Wilder
Wilder: WOOOOOOOOOO!
cut to sommercial
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:50:54 GMT -5
(Uncle Entity and Jesse Garon are observing footage of last week's post-match beatdown on him by Endo and Mercury)
UE: This shit pisses me off. I'm gonna kick BOAF there asses when I see them.
JG: (In Elvish) Easy now there brother. Don't sweat that case. Look who we got this week. Gimmickman. Number one contender to the Onslaught Title. You need to focus on that my man.
UE: Yea, Gimmickman. I think he has a W on me from a while back. REVENGE! I think he needs a Helldriver for his troubles. He's also the number two face in the OOWF and you know how I hate faces!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:51:16 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams is taking on his cell phone.**
LD: “Moose, it’s Williams. We’ve got some things to discuss.”
LD: “Oh, very funny. Laugh it up antlerhead. Think about the implications.”
LD: “Adrenaline is the only reason I ended up doing your dirty work. If I don’t need to protect Johnny, what reason have I got to hold up my end of things?”
LD: “My WHAT?? You think I’m going to keep my word to a psychopath that I gave to help a head case who didn’t have the brains to take advantage of it?”
LD: “No Moose. You think you ####CENSORED FOR GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT#### me. The truth is, you don’t have a clue what I’m about.”
LD: “No, trust me. You don’t want that to happen.”
LD: “Because you’ve already got Niles and his merry men, and Viper and his very merry men (not that there’s anything wrong with that). If it comes to it, I may recruit my own renegades. That happens, and you can subtitle the OOWF ‘the dead and the crippled’. We’ll cut through this company like a hurricane.”
LD: “CANE, Moose, not crete, CANE.”
LD: “I really hope you enjoy laughing at me, ‘cause it’s gonna carry a heavy price.”
LD: “Whatever.”
LD: “If this doesn’t pan out, Moose, you’d better have one hell of a backup plan. More importantly, you’d better be ready to take sides in an awful hurry.”
**Williams hangs up and hurls the phone at the wall**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:51:40 GMT -5
Moosehead Jack hangs up the phone just as Concrete comes into the room
CTG: Who was that?
MHJ: LD Williams.
CTG: <after a long pause> What did he want? What's going on?
MHJ: Huh? Oh, nothing, don't worry about it, we were just catching up on some old times. Just for curiosity's sake, what do you think of Williams?
CTG: I think he is nearly as psychotic as you are, I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.
MHJ: But he is tough as hell, he gave you some hellacious matches.
CTG: <pauses> yeah, those were some battles, what are you getting at Moose?
MHJ: Look, all I'm saying is this, isn't it better to have a guy like Williams on our side rather than against us?
CTG: Forget it Jack, side with you and Williams? No way. Why? So you two can jump me and send me to the hospital? Forget it.
MHJ: Hey, I can't touch you, remember?
CTG: But he can, and I know how you like to orchestrate things, no way. The only way I ever have anything to do with Williams is over my dead body. Now, I am heading to the gym to practice you coming? <Concrete leaves>
MHJ: Over your dead body huh. This team won't last forever with that attitude. Never hurts to have a backup. Trust me <Jack dials his cell >
Williams, yeah, Moose. Let's keep things open, you know, just in case, we'll work out the details. Hit me back later.
<Jack hangs up and follows Concrete to the gym>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:52:00 GMT -5
*GB and OBJ are watching a monitor. The crowd is getting very rowdy.*
GB: Bad enough Niles pissed them off. Then he put on the tape of HLA that got them excited, but then the management cut it off.
OBJ: Apparently yet another Canadian law about showing non-wrestling videos at a wrestling venue.
GB: If the fans riot, we won't get to go up against Moose and Concrete, after all the work Wally put us through this week.
OBJ: I hope Wally's plan works!
*WBK, wearing a gold suit with maroon cape, blue shirt and matching emu boots, struts out to the ring while "Jive Soul Bro" plays*
WBK: As a human resources specialist, I appreciate how frustrated you must be. I can assure you that after the show ends, I can arrange for stress reduction seminars at reduced prices for anyone with a ticket stub. But for now, I've shared my special director's cut edition of an ECW compilation of classic catfights with the AV staff, for your viewing enjoyment on the OOtron. As a special bonus, you can observe Kimona demonstrating special exercise techniques. Please remain in your seats, and understand that the stress reduction seminars will only take place if the matches proceed as planned.
*WBK struts out of the ring, to the sound of Joey Styles screaming CATFIGHT!!!!!!*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:52:26 GMT -5
The 3 piece set locker room.
FC is talking to himself in the mirror.
AX: this is nuts I’m going to sort him out.
FC: You can’t get me Seraph go away Seraph.
AX: Who in the hell are you talking to?
FC: Seraph, can’t you see him.
AX: No
FC: He’s there in the mirror, you can’t see him.
AX: Dude the only people who can see him are you, Bobby Heenan and Tony Schivone. Just chill man.
AX walks but to CC.
AX: He’s on Ozzy’s Crazy Train man.
CC: Just play along with this man, this is going kick ass!
FC: You’ll never take my title Seraph.
CC: Yo FC gotta minute?
FC: No way man I’m too busy talking to Seraph, you can’t see him?
CC: I think you need to step back from the mirror bro!
FC: Yeah I’m going to do some Marine style sit ups and then them some bench presses, which one of you bitches is going to spot me.
AX: Bitches, Screw you pal, I’ve got girls to shag! You’re a bitch!
FC: Don’t call me a bitch.
FC hurls himself across the room and attacks AX. CC pulls them apart.
AX: You’d wanna Watch your self big ass ho.
CC: Cool it guys.
FC turns to the mirror and starts screaming.
FC: I’m going get you Seraph.
CC: Cool it man.
FC: Stop taunting me Seraph
CC: Hey man be cool.
FC: My mom didn’t teach Jenna Jameson how to deep throat Seraph
AX: Huh-huh.
FC: Stop it Seraph just sto…
CC lands his boot right on FC ass.
FC: Whoa what’s happening man, what?
CC: now, you cool?
FC: Yeah sorry man.
AX: Should be bitch.
FC: look man I’ve been a little upset that’s all.
AX: tough shits man, we lost are belts but we don’t go all Norman Bates on every one.
FC: Yeah look man I’m a…
AX: This is the 3 Piece set, not Firechild and the 3 piece set, but THE 3 Piece set, okay 1-2-3, A-B-C, Doh,-Ray-Me, not Doh,-Ray-You. And if so as touch me one more time I’ll shove that shiny gold piece of tin your so proud of right up your jack-hole.
CC: Boys settle, right, unity is Strength. Now FC go over to that room over there okay there is nice young lass waiting for you.
FC: No way man you guys lost your titles because of your party lifestyle no girls until I’ve dealt with Seraph.
AX: F@(% You bitch we lost our titles because a certain kilt wearing ass eater interfered in our match, we were the longest reigning tag team champs in history and do you know why, it’s because we didn’t let the stress get to us, we knew how to have a good time. And if take once step closer to me you’ll lose your title right in the deepest darkest nether regions of your Hole!
FC: Hey man.
CC: It’s cool FC, look it’s not some slutty groupie, her name is Ingrid and she a professional Masseuse from Sweden..
AX: Sweeden!
CC: Yes Sweden and she’s here to give you a simple rub down. I’ve noticed you are way too up tight at the mo’ she’ll do you some good.
FC: Yeah cool, your right man.
CC: just go through there man, she’s waiting.
FC: Thanks man, you’re a true friend Chris.
FC exits.
CC picks up the Onslaught title belt.
CC: Say ax my good man want to have some fun?
AX: Why I believe I do! Let’s bolt.
AX and CC run off with FC’s Onslaught title belt.
FC: re-enters the room.
FC: Goes the only Ingrid in that room is inflatable. Guys where are they? Hey where’s my belt. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
FC catches his reflection in the mirror and begins arguing with an invisible Seraph
Else where down the corridor,
AX: Ah man that was the shit, bro, he’s going to go mental. “ohhh Seraph you’ve got a tighter butt-hole then me errrrrr, ohhhhh never forget Blah blah blah!”
CC: That’s the craziest thing we’ve ever done.
AX: What about the sex with groupies while sky diving?
CC: Well it’s the funniest thing we’ve done all day.
AX: at least. Come on lets go leave this by Seraphs locker room.
CC: “Blah blah I’m the greatest Onslauhgt champ ever, boooh whaah diddy bing a bing dong”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:52:47 GMT -5
Westgaurd and Wilder are playing a bit of hockey on a pond in Canada. They have two trash cans overturned and are using it as the goal.
JWW: You see, this really is a great game
Wilder: Hey, but man it is really cold.
JWW: That's what makes it great.
**Westgaurd is mving towards the goal but Wilder is playing some strong defense.
JWW: You're getting the hang of this.
** Westgaurd then manages to deke out Wilder to move past him and put the puck into the can.
Voice: Mitty fine move der
**Harper Camby & Tommy O'Neil skate into the frame. Both are in hockey gear and carrying a stick.
HC: Good morning boys. We mean no trouble. We were just wondering if we could get a quick pick up game with you before our match tonight.
JWW: We're always up for a challenge.
Wilder: I'm game. We'll kick your ass in hockey before we kick your ass in the ring.
TO: Wil fekkin see bot dat
**Tommy O'Neil squares off with Tommy Wilder and Harper Camby (who is closer to 7 feet tall on skates) squares off with Westgaurd. O'Neill takes the puck and is hounded by Wilder, O'Neill manages a pass to Camby who blasts a shot that is blocked by Westgaurd. Westgaurd shoots a pass to the streaking Wilder who puts in in 1-0.
Wilder: WWHHHOOOOO!!!
TO: ye got luckey ye fek
*** Camby takes it down the ice and finds O'Neil with a pass, then Camby comes and puts a bump on Wilder which springs O'Neil towards the goal. Westgaurd is quick to cover though and Tommy is forced to pass back to Camby. This time Wilder is on Camby and is no match for the size of Harper he manages to force the puck into the goal. 1-1
Wilder: Nice moves, boys
** Westgaurd takes it down the ice and dekes Camby out of his skates, O'Neil starts to shift over but then Westgarud fakes the pass to Wilder which freezes O'Neil, Westgaurd is able to take it in for the score 2-1.
**O'Neil is taking it down the ice covered by Wilder, he passes to Camby but Westgaurd anticipates it and steals it for the easy breakaway goal. 3-1.
JWW: Nice try boys but I've been playing this game a long time.
**O'Neil is taking it down the ice again but this time right before the pass Camby ducks down for low hit on Westgaurd. Westgaurd flips over camby and crashes on the ice, O'Neil finds Camby for the easy goal. 3-2.
Wilder: That was a cheap shot.
HC: Not the way see it.
JWW: It's ok Tommy.
** Westgaurd takes the puck and finds Wilder with the pass then moves towards the goal and recieves the pass down low, he nails Camby with an elbow to get position. Camby goes down and Wilder feeds Westgaurd the puck, before Westgaurd is able to shoot O'Neil nails him with a blindsided left hook with crumples Westgaurd to the ice. Wilder skates over and jumps onto O'Neil and the two are trading blows until Camby manages to get over there and both he and O'Neil pound Wilder until he can't get off the ice. Tommy skates over to the puck and puts it into the opposite goal twice.
HC: Look's like we win 4-3. See you tonight.
** Harper and Tommy skate off the screen.
TO: Dat was fune, let's get a fekking brew now.
HC: It's 11:00.
TO: yer point?
HC: We're overdue
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:53:10 GMT -5
As the Devil's Brigade leave the rink, Capellan (who had gone on a Chipotle run) pulls into the parking lot as Camby and O'neil are leaving.
He sees JW and Wilder crumpled on the ice.
HE runs up to them, tasty burritos and tacos in tow.
By the time he gets to them, they're both sitting up on the ice with big shit eating grins on their faces.
Cap: dudes, what the hell happened?
JW <Bleeding from the bridge of his nose>: Oh, those boys didn't like the thougth of losing a little hockey match so they got a little chippy. now its time for some tasty burrito goodness, One steak and one chicken right?....
Wilder <with blood on his teeth> as he bites into his food: YOu're gonna eat two of these things....
JW: yup <takes a huge bite of his 1st burrito>
JW <looks at Capellan>: HEy did you grab some hot sauce?
Cap: NO they didn't have any
TW & JW: YOugotta bekidding me...
Cap: What'd you expect? Dude, We're in Canada....Where the hockey is awesome, the chicks are hot, the weather is cold as hell and the spiciest condiment the have is ketchup!
JW with a mouthful of burrito: yeah i should be used to it Minnesota is the same way....
TW: well lets eat up and go get ready for the match tonight.....JW, ya think maybe its time for a Thunder debut on one of the Devil's biatches?
JW: Um lemme think about that...yeah
Cut to Commercial
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:53:31 GMT -5
The lights dim as Metallica’s Some Kind of Monster plays over the speakers. The lights flicker then… PYRO! As the Tag Team Champions walk out to the ring to a loud pop from the crowd! FF Capslock grabs a mic then hands another one to his partner.
FF Capslock – Wow. It’s great to be in Canada! (crowd cheers for a bit)
FF Capslock - I mean, great things have happened to us up here!
Stank – Yeah, we got new clothes. We got a new entrance… and… let’s see… oh yeah WE GOT THE TAG TEAM BELTS!
The crowd erupts as FF Caps and Stank hold the Tag Team belts up high for them to see. As the crowd quiets down Capslock speaks.
FF Capslock – Yeah, Stank we’re definitely faces up here. Personally I would have preferred a little Slayer in our entrance theme but Metallica will do.
Stank - I like Linkin Park myself.
FF Capslock - (doing a double take) Linkin Park?
Stank - Yeah. It's the best of both worlds. You got Rock and Hip-Hop.
FF Capslock - Ooookay. We'll just stick to the Metallica.
Stank – Geez. Metallica is used by at least five other guys in the OOWF. They must be collecting quite the royalty check.
FF Capslock – Speaking of royalty, it looks like we are the new Kings of the Tag Team scene and this party is just getting started. 3 Piece set... (crowd boos)... Your days on top are over. You’re looking at the real deal here. This was no fluke win and later on tonight you will find out exactly why.
Stank – We are the most dominant tag team force in the world. We’re bigger, stronger and better than you ever were and you know what? The bigger we are… the harder we fall… on you.
FF Capslock – You want us in a cage? (the crowd starts to yell) That’s just insa…
Before Capslock can finish his sentence he is WHACKED by a steel chair from behind by Ax. Then Cole hits a surprised Stank in the leg with another steel chair! The Tag Champs are down as Ax and Cole start pounding on FFC and Stank. Ax & Cole bring FFC to his knees. Cole grabs FFC’s belt and WAYLAYS FFC across his forehead opening up a gash! 3 Piece set then grab the other belt and do the same to Stank as the crowd boos them mercilessly. Ax and Cole then wrap Stank’s injured leg in a steel chair. Ax climbs up to the top turnbuckle then comes CRASHING down, knee first onto the chair! Stank is screaming in pain! FF Capslock gets to his feet and goozles both Ax & Cole but they kick FFC in the nuts to avert the double chokeslam. Ax and Cole drag FFC over to the corner. Ax holds FFC’s arm by the steel ringpost and Cole SLAMS a steel chair on FFC’s arm!
The Tag Champs are left laying as 3 Piece set backs up the ramp, arms up raised, clearly proud of their work and soaking in the boos of the crowd.
ads.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:53:57 GMT -5
***The camera shifts to OutbackJack and GatorBait back in the locker room who have just finished watching FFC & Stank in the ring***
GB: You know, Jack, seeing those guys out there sparked something in my mind that I've been thinking of for awhile.
OBJ: That we should officially quit showering and we might get the belts?
GB: No, no, no... we are currently in a Non-American English-speaking country and FFC and Stank just changed their intro music much to the crowd's delight... well you and i also represent a Non-American English-speaking country... so I was thinking we could get the crowd behind us, too, if we busted out some new music...
OBJ: What do you have in mind, mate? Marilyn Manson? Britney Spears? Kaja Goo Goo?
GB: No, mate, i was thinking more along the lines of this...
***GatorBait goes to the boombox and slowly raises the volume***
BoomBox: ah ahh ahhh ah ahhhhhhhhh ahhh ahh... THUNDER!
***Wally enters the room flanked by 3 19-year-olds in nothing but Calgary Hitmen Jerseys***
Wally B. King: AC/DC mates!... excellent choice! you know that song is like the ultimate panty-remover back home!
OBJ: you think it's gonna work on these girls, too?!?
WBK: I doubt it... everybody knows Canadian women don't wear them in the first place...
***GatorBait cranks the boombox louder as the 3 men are surrounded by the mini-harem dancing like they're sexually possessed... camera pans out... fade to black***
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:55:40 GMT -5
MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Londonderry, Nova Scotia
We immediately cut to…
[The OOWF Onslaught Champion, Firechild, is seen walking thru the hallway backstage. He turns a corner and ducks into the 3 Piece Set locker room, where he finds Chris Cole laid out unconscious on the floor.]
FC: Chris. Chris!
[Meanwhile, Ax-Man walks out from the shower in nothing but a towel and sees Firechild kneeling next to Cole on the floor.]
Ax: What happened?
FC: I don't know. I walked in and he was out. You didn't hear anything?
Ax: No, I was in the shower with one of the groupies. ... Chris! Get up, man! We take our titles back tonight! Chris!
FC: He's out, man. Wanna call the doctors in?
Ax: Do it.
Ross: What the hell was that? Chris Cole is ambushed in the back, and now Firechild takes his place in the match for the world tag team titles! Razz: Wow, Firechild is going to pull double duty tonight! Ross: Good evening folks, and welcome to OOWF MidWeek Mayhem, Live from Londonderry, Nova Scotia! We have a great lineup for you tonight, as was already mentioned, 3Piece Set was set to get their world tag team title rematch against FF Capslock and Stank, but Chris Cole has been attacked, so now it looks like Firechild will step in and take his place. Razz: Tough break for the former champs. They petitioned all week to get a barbed wire steel cage match, looks like that was all in vain. Ross: WE also have Blackdragon defending his Intercontinental title in a four-way dance against Corax, LD Williams and Morte! Razz: Tough one for Blackdragon, each of those guys is capable of pulling off the win, Dragon has his work cut out for him tonight Ross: Firechild will also defend his title against Seraph and either Thim Reynolds or Capellan in a unique Onslaught gauntlet type match Razz: This will be a true test for Firechild, he faces three of the toughest competitors in the Onslaught division, it will be interesting to see if he can rise to the challenge. And drawing Seraph in the first match, Ross, there is something odd going on between those two. Ross: Finally our main event of the evening, a big eight-man elimination match. On one side we have Niles Anderson, Attitude Adjuster, that scoundrel Beast and Microplay. Their opponents are Canadian Dragon, Hardbody Harris, Chris Alt and UnderDawg. What a collection of talent! Razz: You said it Ross, and that one will no doubt break down into a donnybrook! Ross: The referee will certainly have a hard time keeping that one under control. Razz, our first match of the night features a newcomer to the OOWF, Mr. Jealous, do you know anything about him? Razz: I know he is big, really big, and he has a really short fuse, not a good combination in most cases. He is a brutal individual, I don’t envy Mr. Clarke tonight.
MR. JEALOUS vs. BERT CLARKE
Clarke does the Canadian thing and offers his hand when the bell rings. Surprisingly Mr. Jealous takes his hand and they shake. Not surprisingly, Jealous pulls Clarke toward him and nearly decapitates him with a clothesline. Jealous keeps hold of Clarke’s arm and pulls him back to his feet, only to decimate him with another clothesline. A few more of these and Clarke already looks helpless. MJ whips Clarke to the corner and follows him in with a thunderous clothesline. MJ pulls Clarke out of the corner and lifts him into a vertical suplex and holds him there forever, then he drops him across the top rope mid section first. MJ bounds off the ropes and connects with a brutal boot to the side of Clarke’s face, sending him tumbling off the rope and crashing to the floor below. MJ takes his time and stalks the clearly overmatched Clark to the outside. MJ pulls him to his knees, Clarke tries a few token shots to the gut, but they have no effect on MJ. Jealous pulls Clarke to his feet and goes to whip him into the steel guard rail, but holds on and pulls him back catching him in a spine buster on the floor. Clarke’s head slams onto the floor, his eyes roll into the back of his head, he appears to be done. But Mr. Jealous is not done; he rolls Clarke back into the ring. Clarke is slowly moving trying to get to his feet. Jealous plays to the crowd taunting the Canadians in the audience. As Clarke finally gets to his feet, Jealous DESTROYS him with the monster. The match is over, but Jealous decides to have a little fun. He pulls Clarke to his feet, hits the ropes and hits ANOTHER Monster. Clarke may well be dead. Mr. Jealous locks on the Love Hurts, the ref calls for the bell, Clarke is out. WINNER in 2:49 Mr. Jealous
Ross: MAH GAWD! The raw power of this kid! And you were right, he has a mean streak a mile wide and ten deep! There was no reason for him to brutalize Clarke like he did! Razz: It’s all about sending a message to the boys in the back. Sure Bert Clarke doesn’t have the experience of the boys in the back, but I guarantee you this, whoever he faces next week will be thinking about the beating he laid on this poor kid tonight. Ross: I just see no place for it in our business, you want brutality, you want bloodshed, you want uncontrolled chaos and carnage, go play in a European soccer league, the OOWF should be about man to man competition, not mauling your opponents into submission. Razz: Ross, the 1950’s called, they would like you to come back and join them. Of course it is about brutality and destroying your opponent. If you strike fear into your opponent’s heart, the match is over before the bell even rings, it may not be pretty, but for a rookie trying to make his mark, it is smart. Ross: Well, no thank you. I would much rather see two competitors in the ring, testing their skills against one another. Like our next match, GimmickMan takes on Uncle Entity. This is an Onslaught rules match, so none of the violence that you seem to like. Razz: It all depends on what you consider violent, sure there is Mr. Jealous trying to tear Bert Clarke in two, that is violent, but if you think GimmickMan using his submission style to separate joints and stretch tendons isn’t violent, well then you should climb in the ring with him. Ross: I would rather not. Let’s head to the ring.
UNCLE ENTITY (w/Jesse Garon) vs. GIMMICKMAN
As the ref calls for the bell, Uncle Entity and GimmickMan dive straight into a collar and elbow tie-up. As Uncle Entity flexes ready to overpower GimmickMan he moves into side headlock and then pulls a standing switch into a hammerlock. GimmickMan trips Uncle Entity from behind and takes him down. Rather than move in GimmickMan simply slaps Uncle Entity round the head a few times and backs off to let him up, laughing. Uncle Entity gets himself slowly up of the canvas, dusts himself off and beckons GimmickMan in to try again. As they both move in to another tie-up, Uncle Entity sidesteps GimmickMan, grabs his head and plants a vicious knee straight into GimmickMan's sternum, dropping him to his knees. Uncle Entity then returns the favor by slapping GimmickMan around the head. GimmickMan turns his head and stares at Uncle Entity from the canvas. As Uncle Entity backs off to allow GimmickMan up, GimmickMan charges at him from what it virtually a three point stance and takes him down to the mat with a spear. GimmickMan mounts Uncle Entity and begins to take him out with a series of wicked looking elbows. Uncle Entity manages to get an arm round the back of GimmickMan’s head and pulls him forward to deliver a head butt. GimmickMan rolls off Uncle Entity and they both make it to their feet before diving straight back in. For the next few minutes the pair trade forearms, European uppercuts, chops and a few punches - both receive warnings from the ref but manage to stay just close enough to the right side of strictly legal. GimmickMan begins to take control of the match following an Irish whip and a roaring elbow that looks like it might just have broken Uncle Entity’s nose. GimmickMan follows up with with two pin point elbows to the chest of Uncle Entity, picks him up off the mat and then put him straight back down with a beautiful delayed suplex. GimmickMan pick Uncle Entity up and manages to get him onto his shoulders and appears to be setting up for the Spartan plunge but wait . . . he's heading for the corner . . . it looks like he's going to hit it from the top rope, this could be devastating. As GimmickMan is climbing Uncle Entity manages to grab one of the ropes and the battle is on. GimmickMan is trying to wrench Uncle Entity's arm free while Uncle Entity desperately hangs on . . . suddenly GimmickMan’s foot slips from the second rope. GimmickMan drops Uncle Entity as he tries to catch the ropes to steady himself but misses and bangs his head on the turnbuckle. As GimmickMan stumbles, stunned and disorientated, Uncle Entity takes advantage from his place on the mat, grabs GimmickMan and rolls him up for the one, two three . . . where the hell did that come from!!! WINNER in 9:58 Uncle Entity
Uncle Entity leaves the ring celebrating leaving a stunned GimmickMan looking shocked, shaking his head and wondering what just happened.
Ross: Nice win for Uncle Entity there, he took advantage of a rare GimmickMan mistake to get the win. Razz: Indeed, nice win for him, that’ll move him up a bit in the Onslaught rankings, although I suspect GimmickMan will want a rematch sooner than later. Ross: Well if he does indeed demand a rematch, I am certainly looking forward to it. After Entity’s brutalization of his former partner Mercury, it was a refreshing change to see him come out against GimmickMan and wrestle a good clean match. Color me surprised. Razz: Color you surprised? What the….Ok Anyway, Ross, what do you think about our next match, one of my favorite teams in Revolution XX takes on the newcomers to the tag scene Mercury and Endo. Ross: Well Mercury and Endo may be newcomers as a team, but they both have tag experience, especially Endo, and I think that will go a long way in this match. However, Coolname and Eric have really jelled as a team. I think their experience, as a team will be too much for Mercury and Endo to overcome.
REVOLUTION XX vs. MERCURY & ENDO
Carl and Eric come to the ring in a jovial mood, but Endo and Mercury are nowhere to be found. Their music starts one, then twice, and still only Carl and Eric are in the ring. E&C hop from the ring, look under the ring, into the audience, and can’t find Endo and Merc. The ref has no choice but to agree with E&C that a count out should begin. E&C remain at ringside, and begin mocking a rather ugly commentating duo at the Islamic Republic of Mauritania Announce Table. Eric: Where the hell is Mauritania anyway? Carl: Actually, Eric, Mauritania is located in northwest Africa. The fertile Senegal River valley in the south gives way to a wide central region of sandy plains and scrub trees. The north is arid and extends into the Sahara Desert. Eric: What? Announcer: And we eat rats, too! And with that the announcer pulls off his mask (that would have been a giveaway to most people, huh?), and reveals himself as Endo! The other announcer of Mercury, and the fight is on! Mercury pounds on Eric while Endo hauls off on Carl (mostly because Endo and Eric together would surely create a typo…it’s bad enough we have Carl Coolname and Chris Cole in this fed). Rev XX finally gets some space and gets the action back into the ring, where Eric and Mercury are deemed the legal men. Mercury begins a series of power moves on Eric, and Eric becomes to Heel in Peril! (Look all four guys are heels, deal with it!) The beat down continues for several minutes, but Carl and Eric keep just enough offense going to make them look effective. Plus, Carl’s hair looks really good tonight and he doesn’t want it to get messed up. Mercury and Endo’s tag team isn’t crisp, but effective enough to keep the edge. Finally Eric makes the tag and rolls out of the ring. Carl is Σπίτι στην πυρκαγιά~! (I don’t know, it’s all Greek to me), nailing a crushing dropkick that sends Mercury out of the ring and going to work on Endo. Eric is back up, and Carl and Eric nail the Midnight Express double goozle on Endo! But Mercury is back in, pokes Eric in the eyes and DDT’s Carl! Endo is back up, and Merc motions for Endo to hold Eric. Looks like Mercury’s going for the Vial of Mercury. He throws it…but Eric ducks and the vial hits Endo squarely in the eyes! Endo’s blinded, and in holding his hand to his head I think he just put the Claw on himself! Endo just clawed himself! Endo rolls from the ring, Merc stares in absolute disbelief, and that gives Eric and Carl time to set up. Carl with the Reverse DDT; Eric with a perfectly timed Frog Splash off the top rope! The three-count is academic (even if this match is rather juvenile). WINNERS in 14:59, Revolution XX
Ross: Well, that was a lot closer than I thought it would be. In my estimation Revolution XX were lucky to come out of that one with a win. Razz: I agree Ross, their experience as a team gave them the edge in the end, but I tell ya, this team of Endo and Mercury is not to be taken lightly at all. Ross: At first I thought they would simply be a makeshift team, I didn’t give them a whole lot of a chance to compete, but they proved me wrong. Razz: And I guarantee you Revolution XX is not taking them lightly anymore either. Ross: I would think not. But you brought up a good point Razz, taking your opponent lightly. I get the impression that The Devil’s Brigade are not taking Wilder and Westgaard very seriously. Razz: Which really surprises me, TDB showed a lot of focus in beating Moose and Concrete, they seem to be taking these two rather lightly, and that is not a good idea. Wilder and Westgaard seem to be a perfect combination of power and speed. Ross: I also think they match up against The Devil’s Brigade better than any other team in the tag ranks. Westgaard and Camby cancel out each other’s power and Tommy and Wilder can fly around that ring. This should be a classic match.
THE DEVIL’S BRIGADE vs. TOMMY WILDER & JW WESTGAARD
The four men quickly square off and all hell breaks loose Westgaard is throwing O’Neil around like a rag doll and Camby is brutalizing Wilder. Power moves galore. Finally Westgaard throws O’Neil out of the ring and blast Camby with a Clothesline to the back of the skull. The big man stumbles and ends up leaning against the ropes. Wilder bounds off the ropes and nails Camby in the small of his back. Camby is till on his feet but Westgaard takes care of that when he picks up the big man and connects with a Death Valley driver. JW covers but Camby kicks out a two. Wilder connects off the top rope with a moonsault and covers but O’Neil pulls wilder out of the ring kicks him in the gut and completely destroys him with a Hangover (styles clash) on the floor. Camby then clotheslines Westgaard out of the ring and he and O’Neil go to town on Westgaard nailing him with a chair repeatedly in the knee. Wilder sees this and grabs a hockey stick form under the ring. Climbs the turnbuckle and comes of the top rope with a double flying axe handle to the back of Cumby’s head. Wilder scurries back into the ring, stops and calls out O’Neil. O’Neil climbs into the ring and Wilder puts his dukes up like he’s going to Box. O’Neil laughs at hit and throws the wick left hook, but wilder ducks, and rolls O’Neil up in a school boy for the 1,2,3! WINNERS in 7:31 wCw – Tommy Wilder & JW Westgaard
After the match, Camby and O’Neil are furious that they took the loss. The both threaten the ref, who scurries out of the ring to the safety of the Canadian crowd. The Canadians delight in Tommy’s misery and begin a “YOU GOT PINNED, YOU GOT PINNED” chant
Ross: WOW! I am very impressed, Westgaard and Wilder handled The Devil’s Brigade rather easily! Is this new team this good or were Camby and O’Neil taking them way too lightly? Razz: Well honestly I think it was a little of both. I think wCw is a damn good team, and I also think The Devil’s Brigade took them WAY too lightly. I gotta think there will be another match between these two, and I don’t think Camby and O’Neil will take them lightly next time. Ross: I would think not, if they do, I think we can chalk up another win for The Devil’s Brigade. Razz, up next we have a very unique match, Thim Reynolds takes on Capellan, and at the same time Firechild faces Seraph. The winner of either match can get directly involved in the other match. Razz: It is an interesting concept, one that should make the Onslaught division VERY interesting. Watch for Seraph and Firechild, Seraph has really gotten into Firechild’s head as of late, he has to be really careful here, if he snaps and gets disqualified, he loses his title! Ross: It should be interesting to say the least, let’s stop talking about it and head to the ring.
THIM REYNOLDS vs. CAPELLAN & FIRECHILD vs. SERAPH – Gauntlet Match for the Onslaught Championship
Thim and Cap start of like wildfire throwing everything they have at each other. Seraph and FC on the other proceed to engage in a vicious slobber knocker, more like a UFC fight than an OOWF match. Both men are throwing vicious haymakers, some connecting some swinging wildly. The chain wrestling between Thim and Cap ends when Thim slips a key lock on to Capellan. Cap breaks the hold but floats over and locks on the Maple leaf half crap, putting tons of pressure on Caps back and right leg. Seraph gains control or Firechild and Drops him with stiff Scott Norton like shoulder breaker. With FC down, Seraph calmly enters the other ring and dropkicks Thim in the back of the head while he has Cap in the Maple Leaf. Seraph gets up and calmly makes his way into the other ring. As he climbs in he is met by a FC baseball slide. FC then goes to town on Seraph, raining punches down on his face while screaming “STAY THE F*** OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!” While FC is pummeling Seraph, Capellan is working over Thim with kicks and knee drops while Thim is on the ground. Capellan bounces off the ropes and connects with a leg drop. No sooner had he dropped the leg, he’s back to his feet and climbing the turnbuckle and launching himself into the air with a 450 splash. He covers and Thim kicks out. Cap climbs the ropes again and waits for Thim to get to his feet and connect with the Spinning dragon Kick!!!! Cap covers and its 1,2,3. So Capellan has defeated Thim and is now awaiting the winner of FC/Seraph. He climbs up on the apron and watches the two men. Seraph has regained control over FC, but FC’s fists have opened up quite the cuts above Seraphs eye. The vivid red of the blood is eerie when lay upon the steely calm look on seraph’s face as he punches and kicks at Firechild. Seraph picks FC up after a clothesline and holds him up by his head, and looks him in his half opened eyes. We see him say, “soon you will know” and Proceeds to connect with his finisher Propitiation. Seraph calmly floats over and covers FC 1,2, but FC gets his foot on the ropes before the final hand drops. Seraph gets up after the kick out and walks to the corner and begins to pull at the turnbuckle cover. Capellan sees this and complete nails Seraph with a running super kick. Seraph falls over, and Capellan covers the turnbuckle up. Seraph and FC are down the ref begins to count, and both men are up at the count of seven, FC first and seraph second. When seraph gets up he attempts a clothesline, but FC ducks. Seraph quickly stops and turns around and is met with a kick to the gut and a WINGS OF THE PHOENIX!!!!!! 1, 2,3 and Seraph is done and the ref rolls him out of the ring. Capellan jumps the rope and enters the ring. HE waits for Firechild to get to his feet, and offers his hand before the match starts. FC looks at him and then shakes his hand. FC then says “you ready” and Cap replies “born ready, dude.” The two men lock up and FC get the early advantage with three German suplexes and tries for the d-tuner, but Cap fights his way out and gains control after a flurry of quick kicks and chops. Capellan backs him into a corner and connects with a tornado DDT off the ropes. Floats over and covers but FC kicks out a 2. Cap covers again but only gets a two count. Cap climbs the ropes and waits for the moment to hit his spinning dragon kick. FC is up and Cap is flying, but FC avoids the aerial assault and as soon as Cap hits the mat he locks in the D-tuner in the middle of the ring. After about 45 seconds of struggling Capellan is forced to Tap out. WINNER in 33:12 and still OOWF Onslaught Champion: Firechild
Ross: razz, I was very impressed with Firechild in this one, he really surprised me. Not only did he not let Seraph throw off his game plan, but he stayed within the rules of the Onslaught title, very impressive performance by this young man. Razz: He has the skills, he just doesn’t always make the best of decisions. His issues with Thim and Seraph are certainly not over yet, and tonight Capellan, the youngster, really stepped up and showed that he deserves a shot at the title soon. A one on one match between these two would be gold. Ross: I am sure GM the Rick already has that in mind, it will be interesting, to say the least, what he comes up with for next week. Razz: It’s that time of the show Ross, time for your favorite, Johnny Adrenaline! Ross: I have no sympathy for this man, and it does my heart good to see him on a losing streak falling farther and farther out of contention for the Intercontinental title. Maybe once Johnny hits rock bottom he will realize how important it is to hold a title, what an honor it is. Maybe once he realizes that, the next time he holds a title he will treat it with a little more respect. Razz: That may be, but he has two guys hungry for gold facing him tonight. SoulDragon is still coming back after that knee injury, and he has had success against Johnny in the last few weeks. And Semaj B is quietly climbing the rankings toward the top. No one says much about this guy, but he is as technically sound as they come. Ross: It will be a long evening for Johnny, but until he decides to take things more seriously, there isn’t much you can do to help him; the decision is his, and his alone.
JOHNNY ADRENALINE vs. SEMAJ B vs. SOULDRAGON (w/ Random Appearance Guy)
SD and JA broadly gesture to each other to come up with a plan to double team Semaj early on. After a few moments of deliberation, SD charges at SB and Johnny simply stays back in the corner. Semaj ducks the initial punch from Dragon and opens up with right hands of his own. SB gets Dragon into the corner and unloads a few chops, then hip tosses SD to the center of the ring. Johnny steps out of the corner and gives Dragon a sarcastic applause, and SD tells him to go fight his own fight. JA obliges and locks up with Semaj; Johnny works a headlock and gets shoved to the ropes. Semaj leapfrogs and catches Johnny with a dropkick on the way back. Johnny's up and another dropkick. Johnny's up one more time and SB feigns another, and Johnny bails out to the floor. Dragon rolls out and gives Johnny a congratulatory pat on the back, and Johnny shoves him away. Finally, they put a plan together and slide in at the same time. Semaj fights them off for a minute, but Dragon gets an axe handle blow from behind, and the heels take over. Double suplex on Semaj. And some stomping by SD as Johnny poses to the crowd. They send Semaj to the ropes, and SD and JA get a double clothesline. As Semaj hits the mat, Johnny turns and throws a punch at Dragon, but SD sees it coming and ducks it, opting for a German suplex instead. Johnny cowers to the corner, and Dragon stomps a mud hole in him. SD sends Johnny to the other corner, but JA sops the charge with a boot to the face. JA tries a bulldog out of the corner, but Dragon tosses him off, and Johnny lands right on his ass. Semaj is back up and takes Dragon down from behind and looks to lock on a camel clutch, but Dragon makes the ropes. JA comes back over and pulls Dragon up and hits a delayed vertical suplex, but Semaj covers. JA sees him and pulls him off before a two count and tries to lock on a sharpshooter. Semaj kicks Johnny back to the corner, but Johnny comes right back and tries to lock it on again. And again, SB kicks him to the corner. This time, as Johnny comes back out, SD comes from the adjacent corner and clotheslines Johnny, sending him to the floor. Dragon grabs Semaj and tries to grab the ankle lock, but SB rolls him up. One... two... and Dragon kicks out. Both guys are up, and Dragon drops him with a stiff DDT. Johnny climbs up on the apron, and Dragon looks for the ankle lock again. This time SD crashes into Johnny, and Adrenaline flies into the guardrail. SD staggers back to the center of the ring, right into LIVE AND LET DIE! Semaj makes the cover. One... two... and Johnny pulls the ref out before the three count can be made. As JA argues with the ref, Semaj reaches over the rope and pulls Johnny up onto the apron by his hair. But JA counters with by snapping SB's throat off the top rope. This time, SD schoolboys Semaj on the rebound, but Johnny hops in to break up the pin at two. JA picks up Semaj and puts him upside down in the corner in the tree of woe. But as Johnny turns around, Dragon is waiting on him and looks for the Omen Driver. JA shifts his weight though and counters by shoving Dragon right into Semaj, who is still trapped upside down. Johnny gives SD a German suplex of his own, then sets his sights on Semaj. He runs at Semaj and goes for a baseball slide, but Semaj uses his leg strength and pulls himself up and out of the way, and Johnny goes groin first to the ring post. But before Semaj can completely pull himself free, SD simply grabs him off the turnbuckle and nails him with the OMEN DRIVER! One... two... but Johnny breaks up the pin again at the last second. Johnny punches SD a few times, then grabs Semaj and sets him up for a superplex. But before Johnny can go up with him, Dragon comes from behind and tries a dragon suplex. JA reverses however, and lines up the ADRENALINE RUSH! He slingshots SD up, but before Johnny can come down with the brain buster, Semaj leaps off with a cross body on Johnny. Dragon gets suplexed all the way over, and Semaj hooks both of Johnny's legs and gets the pin. Winner at 10:15: Semaj B.
Ross: Once again Johnny loses focus, and loses another match! Razz: But let’s not take anything away from Semaj or SoulDragon, those two wrestled a helluva match! The unassuming Semaj gets it done again. Ross: I agree there Razz, Semaj is very quiet and soft spoken, he prefers to let his actions in the ring speak for him, and lately they have been speaking volumes about him. Razz: Another guy who has been making another run toward the top is Mark Vander. This guy seems to come and go in spurts, he was hot for a while in the World Title ranks, then his management moved him into the tag ranks, just as he and GimmickMan got things going, they moved him to the Intercontinental title division, he was just closing in on Johnny Adrenaline’s title when they moved him back to the World Title Ranks. Finally Vander seems to be calling his own shots and he is working his way up the title ranks. Ross: Indeed Razz, he and Donovan Viper have developed an intense rivalry in a very short time. Donovan Viper is clutching at straws right now; he has been on a bit of a losing streak since losing the title. He challenged Vander to a chain match for the rights to Vander’s management team member Missy. I can’t imagine Vander is going to like that a whole lot.
MARK VANDER vs. DONOVAN VIPER – Chain Match For the Rights to Missy
Vander makes his way to the ring with Missy in tow. The fans are cheering wildly for Vander and he pauses to acknowledge a crowd of his fans. In the middle of the crowd there is a man in a hoodie, we can’t see his face, but he is making his way toward Vander. When Vander gets in front of this guy, the man in the hoodie nails Vander between the eyes with a chain wrapped fist! Vander falls to the floor, busted wide open. Missy is kneeling next to Vander trying to revive her charge. The stranger jumps the barrier and pulls back his hoodie revealing DONOVAN VIPER! Viper tears off his hoodie and puts the boots to Vander; Missy is still on her knees next to Vander trying to revive him. Viper stops kicking Vander long enough to look Missy up and down, she won’t look at him so he tilts her chin up toward him and flicks his tongue at her and gyrates his hips. Missy does not look impressed, and rears back and nut punches Viper! Viper collapses in a heap to the metal. While both men are down, the referee scurries up the ramp and locks the chain on both men’s wrists and calls for the bell. Both men slowly get to their feet Viper staggers a few steps down the ramp, Vander wraps the chain around his fist and yanks the chain pulling Viper back to him, then levels Viper with a shot right between the eyes. Now Viper is down, blood trickling down his face. Vander takes the chain and whips Viper across the back several times. Viper gets to his feet and tries to flee to the ring; he doesn’t seem to realize that he is now chained to Vander. When Donovan gets to the end of the chain, it jerks him down to the ground. Vander slowly pursues DV, when he catches up to him; Viper hits him with a thumb to the eye. When Vander doubles over trying to clear his vision, Viper pulls the chain taut crotching Vander. Vander falls to the floor. Now Viper takes over, he wraps the chain around his fist and pounds away at Vander’s forehead opening a huge bloody gash. Donovan Viper loops the chain around Vander’s head and grinds it into his forehead drawing even more blood. Finally DV rolls Vander into the ring. Viper slowly stalks Vander, kicking him every time he starts getting up. Viper loops the chain around Vander’s neck and tries to choke him out. Vander is a bloody mess. Viper climbs to the top rope and taunts Missy on the outside, Vander sees what is going on and yanks Viper backward off the top rope. Viper hits the mat and Vander pounces. Now Vander wraps the chain around his fist and pummels Viper into a bloody paste. The referee catches an elbow as Vander goes back for another punch and he is down. He no sooner hits the mat when The Devil’s Brigade and Corax are in the ring. Vander tries to fight them off, but three on one is just too much. Corax hits a shining wizard, and Camby nearly decapitates Vander with a clothesline. Tommy grabs Vander, loops the chain around his neck and throws him over the top rope, Vander’s feet don’t reach the floor and he is quickly losing consciousness. Just when all looks lost, wCw hits the ring to make the save. Westgaard takes Camby over the top rope with a flying clothesline, then both flip over the rope. Wilder ducks a Corax spin kick, springs off the ropes and catches him with a back elbow to the jaw. Corax is quickly back up, but Wilder runs up the corner, turns, dives and takes Corax over and out of the ring with a hurracaranna. Wilder and Corax brawl outside the ring. Inside Capellan and Tommy O’Neil square off, TO tries a wicked left hook, Capellan ducks, kicks TO in the midsection when he spins around and hits a Canadian destroyer pile driver. Capellan and TO slide out of the ring, and it is back to just Vander and Viper. Viper is up first, he pulls Vander to his feet and tries a scoop slam, Vander slips over Viper’s shoulder and grabs him and destroys him with an Impailer DDT. With Viper down, Vander baseball slides Viper and knocks him out of the ring. Vander leaves the ring as well, but on a different side. Vander waits for Viper to get to his feet, and when he does, he pulls as hard as he can on the chain and pulls Viper toward him – straight into the ring post! Viper was caught by surprise and never even had a chance to get his hands up hitting face first into the post and collapsing backward an unconscious, bloody mess. Vander slides into the ring, switches sides, hefts an unconscious Viper back into the ring and makes the cover. The ref, still a little woozy makes the three count. WINNER in 22:46 Mark Vander
Vander and Missy celebrate in the middle of the ring for a moment and soak in the cheers of the crowd then make their way to the back.
[Camera cuts to the back where Ax-Man and Firechild are watching EMT's load Chris Cole into an ambulance.]
Ax: We'll be there as soon as our matches are done, Chris. Hang in there, buddy!
FC: We'll take out those no good pieces of...
[Before Firechild can finish the sentence, Stank and F.F. Capslock walk into the picture, carrying the tag team titles.]
Stank: No good pieces of what?
Ax: We know it was you two who took out Cole like a bunch of cowards.
FF: We didn't lay a hand on the jackass. But if you want us to lay some hands on you two, we can take care of that right now.
Ax: No, no, no. Hold on, guys. Unlike you two animals, we fight in the ring.
FC: That's right, Ax. They're animals. Think what they would've done if we'd have gotten the barbed wire steel cage match. They probably would've taken out you, too.
Stank: How bout we take you out right now, punk?
FF: Hold on, Stank. ... Okay, Firechild, you wanna talk all big and bad. How bout you take Cole's place in the match?
FC: Me? Oh no, you see, I have an Onslaught Title defense to worry about and....
FF: Look, Stank either whoops your ass in the ring later tonight, or he whoops your ass right here, and you go to the hospital along with your little friend. What's it gonna be?
Ax: It's on. Me and Firechild against you two thugs later tonight. [FC gives Ax a double take.]
Stank: See ya in the ring, bitches.
[The champs walk away as the ambulance leaves and Ax tries to calm Firechild down.]
Ross: Did I just hear Ax-Man right? He and Firechild will be taking on the champs tonight? Firechild just wrestled a grueling match! This has to favor the champs! Razz: Makes you wonder if they did ambush Cole? Ross: No, what little I know of Capslock and Stank, they would rather beat those two in the middle of the ring, I don’t see them resorting to that. Razz: Well, something seems awful fishy about this on one side or the other, I am not sure yet, but I smell a rat Ross: No, that’s Stank Razz: No, that’s just a …..never mind. Our next match is the first of a best of three falls series between Moosehead Jack and Concrete TG and Outback Jack and GatorBait. Both teams are looking to make a move in the tag division. Concrete and Moose seem to have come to some kind of understanding lately, do you think they will function a little more smoothly as a team. Ross: Well since they are finally on the same page, that can only bode well for them as a team. That said, Jack and Gator have the edge in experience. Honestly Razz I am not sure what to expect from this match. Razz: Only one way to find out
MOOSEHEAD JACK & CONCRETE TG vs. OUTBACK JACK & GATORBAIT (w/Wally B. King)
The action starts the second the bell ring as all four men meet in the middle of the ring and start exchanging shots. After several minutes of brawling in and out of the ring the ref finally restores some order. The match breaks down into a standard wrestling match for several minutes with both teams working a surprisingly clean match. That is until MHJ pulls GatorBait out of the ring and takes the brawl to the outside. Soon all four men are on the outside of the ring once again brawling around the ring. Concrete and Outback Jack climb onto the Finnish Announce Table and slug it out. Concrete leaps for a shining wizard, Jack avoids the move, and as Concrete comes back around Jack grabs his arm and drops him with a sort of flying cross face, they both crash through the table to the floor where Jack somehow keeps the cross face locked on. On the other side, Jack smacks a chair into Gator’s skull once, then lines up to do it again, but Gator moves and grabs Jack and hits a side Russian leg sweep onto the stairs, splitting Jack’s head open. All four men are down, the ref starts the ten count. Somehow MHJ staggers into the ring, blood clouding his vision. OBJ and Gator come in opposite sides of the ring, and KILL Moose with the Call of the Wild! Gator collapses to the mat, OBJ crawls over to the prone MHJ and makes the cover, 1, 2 somehow, Concrete has recovered enough to hit a flying elbow drop from the top rope to break up the count. All four men are lying in the ring. Gator is to his feet first; he pulls Concrete to his feet, kicks him in the midsection and tries for a CHOMP! Somehow Concrete works his way free and hits Gator with a Cement Mixer! Gator is out! Concrete makes the cover, but now it is Outback Jack’s turn to make the save, dropping a knee on the back of Concrete’s head just before the ref hits three. Outback Jack pulls Concrete to his feet and looks to be going for the cross face. Moosehead Jack finally gets back to his feet and nails Jack with a forearm to the back of the head. OBJ lurches forward, Concrete pastes him with a super kick right under the jaw. OBJ staggers backward, MHJ catches him and hoists him into a torture rack back breaker, then immediately drops him in a reverse DVD. MHJ tries a cover, but it is broken up by Gator. The ref is finally trying to restore some order in the ring, as he is escorting GatorBait out of the ring, MHJ picks up OBJ and drops him with a short arm clothesline. Jack tags in Concrete who climbs to the top rope, MHJ puts OBJ on his shoulders and moves toward the corner, Concrete flies off the top rope and grabs OBJ’s head as he goes over, everyone falls, and CTG hits a flying neck breaker on OBJ. This has to be it. Cover 1,2 MY GAWD Outback Jack kicked out at two! Concrete and OBJ are both to their feet, Concrete bounds off the ropes and leaps up to OBJ’s shoulders for a forward victory roll, but OBJ falls forward and hot shots Concrete on the top rope. Crete is out. OBJ makes the tag, Gator comes in and hits the ropes and drops a big knee across Concrete’s chest. Cover is broken up at two by Moose. Outback Jack is in the ring, he takes Moose and himself over the top rope with a clothesline. Both Jacks are on the floor. Inside Concrete and Gator are trading punches, Gator gets a knee to the midsection and goes for a vertical suplex, Concrete slips out over his back, lands, spins Gator around and tries for a pile driver. Concrete can’t get Gator up; Gator stands up out of the move and slams CTG hard to the mat with an Alabama slam. Concrete’s head bounces off the mat hard, and his eyes roll into his head. MHJ sees this and goes to Jack’s eyes to get away. Gator picks up the dazed Concrete and hits a CHOMP! The referee starts the count, MHJ tries to get into the ring, but at the last second OBJ grabs his foot to keep him from making the save, the ref makes the three count, and the first match goes to Outback Jack and GatorBait. WINNERS in 39:47 Outback Jack & GatorBait
Razz: Awesome match! Hey Ross, we get at least one more between these two, let’s hope it is two, that was some great tag team action! Ross: Indeed it was, and Moose and Jack looked much better than they had ever before. It still wasn’t enough to overcome the experience of Jack and Gator; do you think they can correct those problems by next week? Razz: No problem Ross, Jack and Concrete are two seasoned vets, they probably already have the changes they need to make in mind. It’s a chess game out there; you gotta think one step ahead of your opponent. Ross: Next up, Blackdragon defends his title against Corax, Morte and LD Williams! Word from the back is that Dragon requested this match. This certainly does not favor the champion, why on earth would he ask for this? Razz: Cause Blackdragon wants to go down as the greatest Intercontinental champion of all time, and the way you cement your legacy is by overcoming odds. These would certainly be huge odds to overcome, although I can’t think that this is a very wise move by the champ.
BLACKDRAGON vs. CORAX vs. LD WILLIAMS vs. MORTE
LD and BD immediately face off, but Corax and Morte blind side them and the fight is on. LD disposes of Corax fairly quickly with a picture perfect drop kick and BD hurls Morte across the ring with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. BD and LD lay into one another with punches and stiff chops. BD gains momentary control with a couple of head butts, but LD reverses an Irish Whip into a power slam. Corax and Morte break the cover simultaneously and alternate putting the boots to both guys. Whipping LD sternum first into the corner, they isolate on BD and take turns kicking him in the back and chest. They make a BD sandwich with dual dropkicks and Morte goes for the cover. As wrestling logic dictates, this ends their brief alliance and Corax drags Morte off BD before attempting one of his own. They argue which leads to a pair of LD clotheslines. LD rudely tosses Corax out of the ring and signals out Morte for some rough turnbuckle treatment, followed by some hard back elbows and a running knee to his face. BD snatches a waist lock, but LD elbows free. He then puts BD down with a stiff lariat, but catches a spring board cross body from Corax. Morte breaks it up; only to get murdered with a dropkick to the side of the head courtesy of BD. BD helps LD to his feet only to snap him back down with a suplex. Corax drops a quick leg drop on LD as Morte and BD slug it out. Corax and LD tumble to the outside just as BD gains the advantage on Morte. BD hits a beautiful corkscrew plancha on LD. Corax catches him from behind with a fall out inverted DDT before falling victim to a Morte baseball slide that sends him crashing into the Canadian announce table. Morte sends BD into the ring post and pulls LD into the ring. Variation of Big Show’s Final Cut gets a long two and LD gets to the ropes only to catch a Boss Man straddle. Morte chokes LD in the ropes, but BD hits a stiff round house through the middle ropes to stun Morte. Corax hits BD from behind and introduces him to the announce table the hard way. LD recovers and kills a dazed Morte with the DDT. 1, 2 and Corax pulls him out of the ring and sets LD up for a pile driver through the table. BD puts a stop to that, and he and LD demolish the adjacent Ugandan announce table with a tandem front suplex. Spying an opening, LD shoves BD off the table and into the crowd. LD rolls into the ring where Morte drops an elbow to his back and goes to work with some back related offense before cinching in a surfboard. BD finally back in the ring and kicks Morte in the ribs. He and Morte square off while LD recovers. Morte gains the advantage, but quickly loses it when BD counters a clothesline into a half nelson suplex. LD measures BD and doubles him over with a kick to the gut. DDT is countered however and LD’s lower back hits the apron, as he is back body dropped out of the ring. Morte gets his wits about him and tries a super kick but BD catches it, hits a Dragon Screw Leg Whip and locks in the DRAGON LOCK~!!! Corax shoves pass the EMTs and trips over LD as he tries to crawl back into the ring. With no hope of a rope break or a timely save, Morte is forced to tap. WINNER in 42:18 Blackdragon
Ross: Who was that? Unbelievable Razz. Blackdragon just might be one of the finest champions we have ever seen here in the OOWF. I didn’t give him much of a chance in this match, but he proved me very wrong. Dragon is another one of those very quiet unassuming wrestlers to keep your eyes on. Razz: Until you provoke him, then the man can throw down with the best of them. He has a solid background; he could hold that title for a long time, Ross: Up next we have FF Capslock and Stank defending their newly won tag titles against 3Piece Set, but it’s not the 3Piece Set we are used to, Cole is out with an injury, so Firechild is taking his place tonight. But Firechild already had a match tonight so there is no way he can be 100% Razz: That would seem to favor the champs. This hasn’t been a good week for 3PS, they lost their titles, they were initially denied a barbed wire steel cage match because of the Stu Hart Clause, they got that waived, then they were still denied because of the Thomas Prince Law! And now, one member of 3PS is injured and can’t compete. Ross: They won’t be forgetting their Canadian tour anytime soon, I can tell you that!
FF CAPSLOCK & STANK vs. 3PIECE SET – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
The new champions seem amused that Firechild, rather than Cole, is teaming with Ax. Since the stall tactic didn't work last time for 3PS, Ax and FC jump the champs as they hand the title belts over to the referee, and the brawl is on as the bell sounds. The challengers pound away momentarily, but the advantage doesn't last long. Capslock dumps Ax over the top to the floor and Stank clotheslines Firechild out of his boots. Then Stank presses FC over his head and tosses him outside onto Ax, and the champions rule the roost. The referee gets some order, and sends FF back to his corner. Ax and FC huddle up outside, then slowly approach the ring, Ax from one side, FC from another. Stank cautiously watches both guys, trying to keep both at bay. Finally Ax slides in first, but Stank immediately whips him to the ropes, right where FC is crawling in, and the challengers crash into one another, and FC falls thru the ropes and to the floor. Stank catches Ax from behind with a modified belly to back suplex and gets an early two count. Tag to Capslock, and Stank gets a running avalanche on Ax in a neutral corner before leaving the ring. Then FF follows suit, and Ax flops to the canvas. FF walks on Ax's back one time. Then does it again to be funny. A stiff scoop slam follows. Then Capslock busts out the work rate with a single leg crab, obviously working on Ax's back. FC hops in and breaks that up, but Stank tags in before 3PS can do anything. Stank stomps at Ax a few times. An Irish whip to one corner, then another. Stank sends Ax to the ropes, but Ax reverses, and Firechild pulls the top rope down, low-bridging the big man, and Stank tumbles to the floor. FC jumps on the floor and opens up on Stank with punches. Capslock comes around the corner and chases Firechild away, but as FF chases FC around, Ax rolls out and works on Stank, including a DDT on the floor. The official gets FC and FF back to their corners; Ax rolls Stank in, and finally tags to FC. 3PS sends Stank shoulder first into the ring post, and FC tries to follow-up with a cross face variation. However, Stank is either too massive or too musty, and FC can't get the hold locked on. Ax drops to the floor and pulls out an aerosol can and sprays down Stank, and FC tries to lock the hold on again. This time, however, Stank powers up and drops FC throat first across the top rope. Ax immediately hops in and stomps away at Stank, drawing Capslock in. FF drops Ax with a right hand before the ref shuffles him out. But the distraction gave FC just enough time to regain his bearings and drag Stank back to the corner. Tag to Ax, who hits a knee lift and follows with a swinging neck breaker. Tag back to Firechild, who tries for a Liontamer, but again, Stank is too big, and FC drops him and opts for a leg drop to the back of the neck instead. Tag back to Ax, and he pulls Stank up. Ax talks some trash, and Stank punches him. And again. Stank backs Ax up to the ropes and sends him to the other side. Ax flies back with a cross body, but Stank catches him and drops him with a front power slam, crushing the ribs and back of Ax. Stank is winded however, and is crawling toward the corner. Firechild hops off the apron and tries to run around and pull Capslock off, but is too late: Stank gets the tag. Capslock sees Firechild running around on the floor, and comes off the apron with a double axe handle, and FC sells it like he was hit by a missile. FF rolls in and gives Ax a splash to the back. One, two, but Ax is out. FF pulls Ax up and opens up on him with stiff forearms, backing him into a corner. Capslock stays on him though, just pummeling away. The ref forces a break, and by this time Firechild is back in the ring, this time with the Onslaught Title belt. FC lines up his shot, but Stank clocks him with a big boot before he can take a shot. Capslock turns around to see Firechild laid out and pulls him up for a power bomb. But before FF can lift him, Ax comes from behind with the Onslaught Title belt and levels him, the ref oblivious to any of it while trying to get Stank out of the ring. One... two... and Capslock is out at two. Ax is in shock. 3PS puts the beats on FF, so Stank comes back in. Clothesline for Ax, and a belly-to-belly suplex for FC. Stank steps back out, gets a tag from Capslock, and steps right back in. Firechild stumbles back up, right into the Stank-U! It's over, but the referee informs Stank that FC is not the legal man. With that, Stank casually tosses Firechild to the floor and sets his sights on Ax. Scoop slam, and Stank motions for Capslock to go to the top. FF is up, but Firechild rushes up the apron and shoves him off to the guardrail. In the meantime, Ax hits Stank with a low blow. Firechild hops back in, this time with a tag title belt, and the ref struggles with him. Ax gets another running start, and this time Stank meets him with a huge body tackle, sending Ax back into the ropes. Stank goes in for the kill, but then, FROM UNDER THE RING, Chris Cole emerges with a barbed-wire 2x4 and clobbers Stank right in the face with it. Blood immediately spills everywhere as Stank falls to the mat. Cole gives Ax a little shove from behind, causing him to fall right onto Stank. Firechild hops off the apron, the ref turns around, one... two... and three. WINNERS in 20:01 and NEW OOWF Tag Team Champions Ax-Man and Firechild
Ross: WHAT THE HELL! IT WAS ALL A SET UP! Cole wasn’t hurt at all! Those sneaky conniving bastards! They couldn’t win a rematch straight up so they had to resort to this! Talk about a tainted victory! Razz: Does this mean that Firechild is the first dual champion in the OOWF? Ross: I don’t know, can he do that? Razz: It looks like it, new champs Ross. Once again, 3Piece Set outsmart everyone, they are slippery as a bucket of soapy frogs. Ross: A bucket of…what? Razz: Never mind; let’s get to our main event, a HUGE eight-man tag team elimination match. Ross there is so much going on in this one, you need a scorecard to keep it straight. Ross: No kidding Razz, suffice it to say; pretty much everyone in this match has an issue with someone on the opposite side of the ring. This one will be a barnburner!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:56:15 GMT -5
NILES ANDERSON, ATTITUDE ADJUSTER, BEAST & MICROPLAY vs. CANADIAN DRAGON, HARDBODY HARRIS, CHRIS ALT & UNDERDAWG – Eight Man Elimination Match MP and CD start things off. Pretty even exchange until MP counters a hurricarrana attempt into a power bomb. CD kicks out at 2, and MP tags in Beast who immediately hits the big man offense and taunts CA. CD goes low with a dropkick and makes the quick tag to HH. Crowd erupts as he hammers away at Beast. Beast short-circuits the electricity with a hard lariat. CA hits a springboard drop kick that staggers Beast into his corner. Ref escorts CA as he curses at Beast. NA and AA double-team HH before NA officially tags in. HH grabs a quick schoolboy when NA taunts the ref. NA kicks out and puts HH down with a clothesline. More quick tags and finally MP and HH square off. MP gets the better of HH, but untimely interference from Beast distracts MP enough for HH to hit the ONE AND ONLY~! Both men down, but HH makes it to his corner first, and UD is the recipient of the hot tag. UD manhandles MP and easily puts a halt to any of his cheap shots until he sets up for the FIRE PLUG DRIVER~!!! and MP gouges his eyes. Tag to Beast who wears the big man down enough that AA wants in. AA with some trash talking and a couple of swinging neck breakers. UD fights back, but AA grabs the ref and Beast levels UD with an axe handle to the back of the head. AA with a drop kick to the face but only gets a 2. UD struggles to a neutral corner, but it doesn’t matter as AA distracts the ref again and NA and beast assault him while MP kind of looks on. This draws CD and CA to drop from the apron and pull Beast and NA down to the floor. The four men brawl as UD recovers enough to drop AA with a big boot. MP in as UD goozles AA, but gets intercepted by HH. UD slashes the throat and hoists AA up for the FIRE PLUG DRIVER~!!! but Beast puts a stop to that with a vile boot to the face. HH and CD clothesline Beast back to the outside. MP repays HH the favor and takes him down with a reverse neck breaker. CD hits a somersault leg drop on MP, then moves just as AA drops an elbow meant for him, but connects with MP. CA boots Beast back to the outside then attempts a sling shot cross body, but Beast catches him. Seeing this, CD uses NA, whose checking on MP as a spring board and hits a somersault plancha causing all three men to hit the floor. The ref has totally lost control as MP counters the TO BE EDITED IN LATER~!!! with a back suplex. MP then attacks UD from behind, freeing NA and from the soup bones he was dishing out. UD manages to stop MP’s assault with a thunderous choke slam, but AA ref distraction extraordinaire, occupies the ref long enough for NA to stun UD with a chair shot, then put him down with a STEED DT~!!! AA calls the ref over as he pulls UD up and hits an ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT~!!! on UD to ensure a three count. UNDERDAWG ELIMINATED. AA celebrates for a moment, but it quickly taken down by a CA springboard forearm. CA dominates him for several minutes with all manner of kicks, flash arm drags, and even a counter-reversal-spear on the rebound that garners a 2. Oddly enough none of AA’s allies seem interested in helping out. That is until CA sets up the SPINAL CONTUSION~!!! but just as he hooks the arms, NA rebounds off the opposite ropes and takes him down with a clothesline. AA tags out and NA takes control. CA is punch drunk by the time NA is done with him, but manages to hit a desperation back flip kick to put NA down. Tag to CD and he’s all over the place with flying forearms and drop kicks. NA tries to sneak in a move but gets countered into a head scissors that fortunately for him sends him to his corner. MP tags in and is met with more of CD’s lucha inspired goodness. MP finally blocks a hip toss into a clothesline and takes control. After a million dollar knee lift to the jaw, MP says that’s it and climbs the turnbuckles. HH sneaks over and shoves him off, prompting NA and AA to protest HH’s interference. While this is going on, Beast attempts to get in on the action, but CA toe trips him into the stairs. CD springs off the ropes just as MP recovers and catches him with a hurricarrana pin. NA and AA are cut off by HH and CA and the three count is made. MICROPLAY ELIMINATED. CD tags out to HH just as Beast enters the ring. This go around is all HH who has an answer for all of Beast’s power moves. In order, he counters out of a back suplex with punches that lead to a lateral press for 2, avoids a corner rush and gets a back slide for another 2, wiggles free from a gorilla press after Beast momentarily took control after a big clubbing blow. Still in control, HH is low bridged to the outside and NA demands to be tagged in. Beast does so as AA tosses HH back in. Frequent tags isolate HH, as CD and CA will him on. Just as HH fires up, NA and AA put a stop to it and CD and CA join in the fun. Shorter brawl as CA and Beast wind up on the outside. Beast nearly snaps neck with a clothesline then does his spine no favors with a power bomb on the floor. CD back to his corner and looking for CA. CD in now to face Beast and after a few minutes of keeping him off balance, he is mauled. Beast sets up for the BIG CLUB O DOOM~!! but CA has lost it and in full view of the ref, blasts Beast in the face with a chair. CHRIS ALT ELIMINATED. As the ref monitors CA’s walk up the ramp, HH knocks NA and AA from the then nails a staggering Beast with the famed TO BE EDITED IN LATER~!!! CD drapes the arm and the count is academic. BEAST ELIMINATED. NA and AA back in the ring and begin stomping a mud hole in CD. HH takes them both down with clotheslines and drags CD to the corner before tagging himself in. In a brief contest, HH dominates both until they are sent to the outside. HH poses as the crowd alternates between chanting his name and CD’s. The ref reaches eight before AA climbs back in. After a cheap shot, AA gains control, then he and NA work HH over. HH finally gets some space when he counters a STEED DT~!!! into a release northern lights suplex, but AA takes CD off the apron before HH can make the tag. Meanwhile, NA has rolled out of the ring and retrieved his World Title. While the ref pulls CD off AA, NA plasters HH in the back of the head then hits a STEED DT~!!! for the pin-fall. CD’s rage keeps the tandem off guard for a while, but the numbers game finally gets the better of him. Despite constant double-teaming, CD refuses to say die. He ducks an AA clothesline and uses his momentum to carry him into a baseball slide that takes NA off the apron. AA attacks him from behind and after a triple reversal sequence, actually gets caught up in a small package for the surprise 3 count. AA argues with the ref, giving NA a chance to grab his title again. Unfortunately for him, BD jumps the barricade and strips him of the belt. As they stare one another down, CD jumps to the apron and hits a hurricarrana that sends NA tumbling. BD then pushes CD out of the way and fights with AA. CD gets NA back into the ring. NA fights back after raking the eyes, but there’s no stopping the Canadian violence now. CD smoothly counters out of a shoulder high slam into a Christian-like reverse DDT across the knee, holds on and locks in a DRAGON SLEEPER~!!! No allies left, and out of tricks, NA submits. Post match, BD climbs into the ring with CD, drapes the World Title over his shoulder, gives him a round of applause and leaves him to his countrymen’s cheer. CD poses with the belt for a moment before laying it across NA’s chest. He rolls out of the ring, just as AA makes it back in. WINNER in 66:29 Canadian Dragon After the match, all eight men return to the ring for a wild brawl. Chris Alt and Microplay are in the ring slugging it out, the others are around the ring doing battle. MP charges at Alt, but Alt sends him over the top rope with a big back body drop. Alt turns around and waits for Microplay to get to his feet for a top rope plancha, Donnie Viper and The Devil’s Brigade hit the ring. Camby and Tommy attack Niles outside the ring, Corax comes through the crowd and stuns AA with a super kick to the jaw. Inside the ring, Viper grabs Alt and drops him with a sidewinder. Donnie slides out of the ring and grabs a table, brings it back, sets it up and lays Alt on top. Outside the ring, Blackdragon, AA and Corax are battling, Beast makes the save for Niles and is holding his own with The Devil’s Brigade. Inside the ring, Donovan Viper is on the top rope wrapping the chain around his elbow, setting Alt up for a flying death elbow. Niles hits the ring and pulls Alt off the table and out of the ring to safety. Niles gathers AA and Beast and they, along with Alt, beat a hasty retreat to the back. Corax is on the outside getting to his feet when a masked man comes through the crowd and attacks him, nailing him with a forearm to the back of the head, then hitting a michinoku driver on the floor before retreating back through the crowd. Donovan Viper is in the ring yelling for Niles to come back when Mark Vander hits the ring and attacks. Vander spins Viper around and DESTROYS him with a belly-to-belly suplex, then mounts him and pounds away at Viper’s head reopening the wounds from earlier. Finally security hits the ring and pulls the two apart. <In the back, GM the Rick walks into the 3Piece Set locker room where they are celebrating wildly>
GMtR: <clapping sarcastically> Great show guys, great show, real clever. Ok Firechild, let’s go hand one over.
Firechild: Hand one of what over:
GMtR: One of those titles, OOWF bylaws, you can only hold one title at a time in OOWF. Give one up.
<Firechild looks at Ax-Man and Chris Cole and they all start to laugh>
GMtR: Something funny here?
FC: Nope. <Firechild tosses his half of the tag team title to Cole> Everything is settled.
GMtR: Um, no I said I would be taking….
Cole: Yeah, we heard what you said, you say a lot of things, I’m gonna say this, you aren’t getting ANY of these titles tonight.
Ax: Yeah boss man, you are so fond of reading the fine print in contracts and obscure Canadian laws, take a look at our contracts, look closely, it’s called the Freebird clause, it says and member of 3Piece Set can defend a title in the possession of said group at any given time without previous notification of permission.
FC: In other words, Ax or Cole can defend my Onslaught title if I see fit, and I can take either of their places in a tag title defense any time I see fit.
Ax: And there’s not a DAMN thing you can do about it. We are the tag champs again, and Firechild keeps that Onslaught title.
Cole: We warned you, Ricky, don’t mess with 3Piece Set.
Ax: Let’s go find some bitches and celebrate!
<3PS leave the locker room and the camera focuses on a clearly pissed off GM the Rick before fading out> Ross: The Freebird clause? What on earth? Razz: It looks like Cole and Ax are the champs again! They pulled a fast one on the boss! Ross: Those sneaky bastards. Folks that’s all the time we have tonight, for Razz, I’m Ross, see you next week!
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out OOWF MidWeek Mayhem! Live, June 22nd, Live! From Summerside, Prince Edward Island, Canada! And be sure to check out the OOWF PPV, Live June 26th from Woody Point, Newfoundland, Canada!
For more details, check out our website! oowf.pantslessfury.com/oowf !
And for all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.
This has been an OOWF production, produced by the Big-Black-Tar-Jack-Attitude-Jodrell-X production company in accordance with Ecosystem Ltd.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:56:48 GMT -5
[Johnny Adrenaline is walking backstage. He passes L.D. Williams in the hallway. Neither man even acknowledges the other one, as they don't even make eye contact. However, Johnny turns around and approaches L.D. from behind.]
JA: Nice match out there earlier, buddy. You sure showed Black Dragon! Way to take that Intercontinental Title!
[Johnny then looks at L.D.'s waist and shoulder and sees no title belt.]
JA: Oh, my bad...
[Johnny gives L.D. a sarcastic pat on the back and walks off. L.D. just glares at Adrenaline and keeps walking.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:57:09 GMT -5
Stank and FF Capslock storm into The Rick's office
GMtR - Before you boys say anything...
FF Caps - leaning in close NO! I don't care what clauses are violated or laws broken MAKE THAT STEEL CAGE MATCH HAPPEN!
Stank - AND we want ALL THREE of them!
GMtR - Fellas I can't..
Stank - RICK! Don't tell us what you can't do. Make it hap...
GMtR - LISTEN... I will NOT be intimidated into doing anything! I don't care who you are! I don't like the sitiuation any better than you.
FF Caps - We want a rematch. And we want the three of them.
Stank - And we can't promise you... that any of them will make it to next week.
GMtR - Now Now boys if you hurt 3 piece set. How do you expect them to defend the titles?
Stank & FFC give each other a knowing look then storm off.
GMtR - I really hope they don't do something stupid.
Camera fades.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:57:38 GMT -5
Viper is in the back with The Devil's Brigade and Corax
DV: I don't fucking believe this! I should be in the hotel room, boning that Missy bitch, but no. I'm sitting here bloody, with nothing.
HC: I can't believe we let those wCw morons steal the match like that. We can take them any day.
TO: Tey cot us bye suprise. We'l not ta be tekkin dem litely next we dew battel.
Cor: Tommy, they wouldn't have won if it wasn't for that damn hockey stick, so don't worry about it. And besides, I was robbed from winning the Intercontinental Championship today! This sucks, guys!
DV: We need to vent our frustration. Guys, let's go attack some people!
HC/TO/Cor: Yeah!
They walk down the corridor to see Mark Vander in his dressing room with Missy Lane.
DV: Get him!
Camby, O'Niell, and Corax jump Vander while Viper grabs Missy.
DV: This is what you get for hitting me in the balls, you bitch!
SIDEWINDER ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR TO MISSY LANE!~!!!
The others finish the job with Vander, leaving him motionless, and they continue to walk backstage, where they see Westgaard, Capellan, Tommy Wilder, and a SFJ starting an interview. Tommy O'Neill runs up and DECKS Wilder with a left hook! Westgaard gets flattened with a wicked clothesline from Cambym while Capellan gets a Corax dropkick! Viper is about to run in with a death elbow to the SFJ when UNDERDAWG runs in, decks Viper, and attacks the other three heels at the same time! Westgaard, Capellan, and Wilder get up and fight back against the heels. Viper and the others reel back.
UD: You think it's over little man? It's just getting started!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:58:01 GMT -5
*Thunderstruck suddenly blasts through the arena sound system. Wally leads GB and OBJ to the ring.*
WBK: Never let it be said that Walter Bernard King is not a man of his word. Show your ticket stub at the distinguished adult relaxation venues to get a discount on stress reduction services.
OBJ: Does that include a happy ending?
WBK: Let's not create any issues with the local regulatory agencies.
GB: Happy endings are cool. Not that I'm telling you anything you don't already know.
WBK: Er, thanks for the input, guys.
*MHJ and CTG come out to the ring. The 2 teams face each other with Stares Of Extreme Intensity.*
CTG: Citizens!
OBJ: Actually, Wally and I are here on green cards, so Gator is the only US citizen here.
GB: Dude, we're in Canada.
OBJ: My bad.
MHJ: Can we get on with this?
CTG: We come to offer the Handshakes Of Mutual Respect.
*Both teams offer the HOMR and leave the ring*
WBK quietly to MHJ: I thought your partner dropped the super hero gimmick.
MHJ: That Chomp seems to have caused a relapse, but I'm sure it's temporary.
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