MidWeek Mayhem (09/08) Live From Medicine Hat, Alb

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Medicine Hat, Alberta Canada

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Firewoman vs. Ravenna Blue

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
Nothing Happened vs. E-DEVILS

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
The Dead vs. Matt Folz

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
Chad Madison vs. LD Williams

OOWF World Tag Team Title Shot on the Line[/u]
Drink & Destroy vs. Moosehead Jack & Stank vs. Valor

Alexander Darling vs. J-P Sparxx vs. Eric O'Mac
Poe vs. Dr. Infieri

Card subject to Lance Storm approval

[BookerShark]

*Davin is STOMPING~! around and SLAMMING~! doors in the locker room. He's holding a piece of paper. Poor Samantha is there too.*

SDM: Honey, listen, relax...it's just...

DM: NO! I'm tired of being a goddamned afterthought around here! I'm the top ranked wrestler in this company without a belt. Do you understand the words that I am saying to you right now?!? No one else in this company has even 30 wins, and here I am with 35!

SDM: *annoyed* Davin...

DM: No! This is bullshit! And now...and NOW...I've been shoehorned into this bullshit tag match with those sick, twisted freaks, E-DEVILS...and why? Is this punishment for not being on the plane? This is absolute bullshit! I demand...

*Alexis walks into the room and clears her throat as she stands behind Davin, holding both of the OOWF World Tag Team Championships. Davin turns around.*

DM: Oh. Oh yeah. Never mind. Sorry Lexie. Sorry Honey. Forgive me?

SDM: Yeah, we'll forgive you.

LD: Jewelry. Now.

SDM: That.

DM: Dammit.

*fade*

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is WALKING~! ... slowly ... toward The Chamber, when Lucky approaches her.

FW: Now?

L: No time like the present.

FW: *sigh* Fine.

They divert over to another hallway, where Alexander Darling is just getting out of the shower, and he answers the door in a towel.

FW: Really?

AD: Fire...bringing your lawyer...or whatever... to catch me in the shower? That's a little weird, even for you.

L: I've got the papers.

AD: Oh...well, let's get this over with then. Right?

FW: .....

AD: Fire....this is what you want, right?

FW: What? ... Uh...yeah...yeah, I'm clearly not the marriage type.

L: Fine.

Lucky gets the papers out of the envelope and hands a copy to each one. They look them over.

L: Pretty standard, really. Two copies, you each sign both of them, then we send it off and presto! You were never married.

FW: Great...let's just get it over with.

AD: Wait...there's a problem.

FW: There is?

AD: There's lots of them. Lucky...who the fuck is Alexandra Bryan Darling?

L: What?

Lucky grabs the papers and look them over.

L: I clearly spelled both names. Must have been the crappy connection over the Pacific.

FW: So, can't we just correct it and initial it?

L: Nope.

AD: Sure we can, in business we do it all the--

L: Nope! This isn't business. This is.....another court. *Lucky collects all the papers in a mess and shoves them crumpled into the envelope.* I'll just send these right back and get them fixed. It'll be another two weeks, tops.

AD: So, we're still hitched until then.

FW: Seriously? Lucky...this is so unlike you. You're usually so...I dunno ... efficient.

AD: Yeah.... *Alexander eyes Lucky suspiciously*

L: L-l-l-ike I said....cell phone connection was iffy. So.....I'll just go take care of this. Fire, I think your brother was looking for you. I got your new car washed too, so you can drive it to Alberta.

FW: Awesome ... thanks. Well......

AD: Well......two more weeks of wedded bliss, eh snookums?

FW: *rolls her eyes* Go to hell.

Fire walks off while Lucky appears to be dialing his cell phone.

AD: So...what gives?

L: Huh? I don't know what you're talking about.

AD: Uh huh...

Alexander goes back into his room and shuts the door. Lucky goes the same direction Firewoman did.

[BookerShark]

<Moose is walking through the arena with Stank heading to the parking lot>

MHJ: So what did they say?

Sta: Nothing broken, he just stretched the shit out of the muscles.

MHJ: Think Jack was that lucky?

Sta: I would be shocked if nothing was broken. I would be even more shocked if that slows him down.

<as they walk and talk, Firewoman walks down the hallway, suspiciously happy, Stank rolls his eyes and keeps on, Moose stops>

FW: BROTHER! C'mon, lets blow this joint. Got my new car in the parking lot ready to go, let's break it in

MHJ: No

FW: What? Why?

MHJ: <through clenched teeth> I have no interest in riding in ALEXANDER DARLING'S car

FW: <getting annoyed> It's not HIS car, it's MY car, he gave it to me

MHJ: No strings attached right?

FW: No strings attached

MHJ: <looks around shaking his head> Lis, you just don’t get it do you?

FW: Get what?

MHJ: There are NEVER no strings attached with the Darlings, EVER!

FW: This time, he means it

MHJ: Fuck him, fuck them, and if you are going to insist on hanging around them……..FUCK YOU

FW: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR……

MHJ: <snapping> NO! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HAVE DEFENDED YOU? DO YOU FUCKING REALIZE I PUT MYSELF IN THE GODDAMN HOSPITAL AT LEAST PARTLY BECAUSE OF WHAT DARLING DID TO YOU? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IT DOES TO ME SEEING YOU BUDDY BUDDY WITH THE MAN THAT FUCKING KIDNAPPED AND TORTURED US?

<at this point, Moose has backed Fire against the wall, she is staring at him with her mouth open and her eyes wide>

MHJ: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IT DOES WHEN YOU TAKE A GODDAMN PLANE WITH RUN MOTHERFUCKING DEA BACK FROM JAPAN? I FUCKING LOBBIED TO GET YOU INTO THE FIVE BECAUSE I HAD FAITH IN YOU, I KNEW YOU WERE ONE OF THE BEST IN THE WORLD! AND YOUR PETTY BULLSHIT HAS EVERYONE PISSED THE FUCK OFF!

<Fire snaps out of it a little bit and fires back>

FW: HE WENT AFTER MY GODDAMN RIBS!

MHJ: <looking completely exasperated> IT’S A FUCKING WRESTLING MATCH! WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?

FW: I didn’t go after his ankle!

MHJ: WHY THE FUCK NOT? IT’S FUCKING WRESTLING! JESUS CHRIST FIRE! YOU GO AFTER YOUR OPPONENTS WEAKNESSES! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

FW: <getting angry> Stop. Yelling. At. Me.

MHJ: Fine. You want me to stop yelling? I’ll stop yelling. You want to CONTINUE to kiss the Darling’s asses? Then get the fuck out of here and go kiss their asses.

<Moose grabs his bag and leaves. Fire just stands there staring, then appears to get pissed as hell and storms off herself>

[BookerShark]

Spencer Darling is seen walking into the Destroyatorium.

Spencer: Bunny, Carl, Justin ....

DVD: What are you talking about over there babe?

Spencer: One don't call me babe, and Two I was just looking up the numbers of some old aquaintances for Alex. (Spencer pauses, grabs a cocktail napkin and scribbles a number on it before handing it to DVD) Take this, you should give Alex a call sometime.

DVD: About what?

Spencer glances over at a table where Danny Taylor and Outback Jack are sharing drinks.

Spencer: I'm sure you can think of something.

Spencer walks off. DVD shrugs and pockets the napkin before walking over to the table.

OBJ: (belches) Thats Australian for what's the stip this week?

DVD: Triple threat with Valor involved, winner gets the title shot.

OBJ: Looks like Valor may be getting another shot at the title.

DVD: You saying you'd throw the match?! I didn't hook up with Drink and Destroy so my boy Danny could be made to look foolish. We want to be the best and if you thi....

DVD is cut off by a hand on his shoulder from DDT. Danny makes the belt motion around his waste and shakes his head no, he then makes a wide motion with his arms.

OBJ: He's right, this isn't about belts it's bigger than that. Stank and Moose want to end us we need to show them, and all of the OOWF that we are not a unit to be taken lightly. We need them to know that when you threaten or attack us there will be consequences.

DDT taps on his stomach and makes a breaking motion, he then taps on his heart and then his head before flexing his bicep.

DVD: They can break your bodies but your hearts and minds remain strong.

Both DDT and Outback Jack just smile at this.

DVD: Okay, I think I understand. In light of this I think we will need new strategy from this point out. Boys grab the dames and let's go.

OBJ: Were are we going?

DVD: Time for a change of scenery, to keep those minds and hearts fresh.

fade

[BookerShark]

Firewoman runs into Lucky...literally. Papers go flying as does Lucky.

FW: What the fuck are you doing?

L: Trying to decide what to do next that won't get me killed.

FW: Go get my stuff. We're....leaving.

L: Now? Don't you want to rest first?

FW: Moose would like us to find other quarters.

L: He kicked you out?

FW: Just go get our shit and meet me back here and try not to do anything else incompetent today.

Lucky scurries off toward The Chamber. Firewoman picks up her phone and dials.

FW: ......... Davin? I don't know why you aren't answering........fine, whatever, just......you know, never mind. Don't call me when you get this.

Fire slams the phone shut. She opens it a few more times as if she's thinking of calling someone else, but stops herself. She looks down the hall, sighs, and goes back down a different way, and comes to the door she was just at a promo ago. She takes a deep breath and knocks. The door opens.

AD: Yes?

FW: Hey...um....okay, look, let's not make this a thing. I just need to crash here before I drive to Alberta.

AD: Here? Why?

FW: Moose and I.....it's just better if I'm not there right now.

AD: Um...yeah...sure....I mean, I'll sleep on the couch and....

FW: Oh...yeah...right....of course, I.....*Fire looks like she's on the verge of tears*

AD: Okay, look, not out here in the hall.

*Alexander puts his arm around her and guides her into the room, and the door closes, leaving the Ninjacam out in the hall

[BookerShark]

<Moose storms across the parking lot to where Stank is standing putting his things in the trunk of a sports car (but not a ridiculously expensive one paid for by Alexander Darling like SOME people) Moose throws his gear in the bag and just looks at Stank>

MHJ: I’ll drive

Sta: Is that really a good idea right now?

<Before Moose can answer we see Davin walking across the parking lot with Alexis and Sam>

DM: Hold my bag for a minute, I’ll be right back

SDM: Umm, is that a good idea right now?

<Davin ignores her (that will cost him more jewelry) and heads toward Moose>

DM: MOOSE! A word please?

MHJ: Not now Davin

DM: What the fuck was that all about?

<Moose comes at Davin like it is about to be on, but doesn’t throw a punch, he just speaks in a low, slow, deliberate voice>

MHJ: Davin, I am asking you, and if there is a drop of blood between us, you will listen to me…..stay. the. Fuck. Out. Of. This. This is between me and Fire, no one else.

<Davin stares at Moose deciding if he wants to call his bluff. Finally Davin nods and backs off and heads back to his sister and sister in law. Moose walks back around the car and gets in. The car roars to life and speeds out of the parking lot into the night.>

[BookerShark]

Poe is STORMING~ towards GMtheRick's office with Selena trying to keep up behind him.

Sa-T: Omar! I said I was sorry! Omie...

Poe bursts through theRick's door.

GMtR: Jesus Tap Dancing Christ, you'd think I'd be used to this.

Poe slams a copy of the match sheet down on his desk.

Poe: That piece of human excriment gets me disqualified in a title match and now I'm curtain jerking with this...Dr. Inferior or whatever his name is?

GMtR: Did you just call Selena a piece of...

Sa-T: I SAID I WAS SORRY!!

Poe: I meant the referee you fucking drunkard.

Sa-T: Yay! He meant the referee!

Poe: *aside to Selena* Of course I did, you only did as you were told. *back to theRick* I demand a rematch, and I demand it next week!

GMtR: No.

Poe is about to reach across the desk when theRick pushes his rolly chair back.

GMtR: You gave the Pendulam to a referee! I should suspend you!

Poe: He put his filthy hands on me first!

GMtR: You're right. He will dealt with as well for his actions, but c'mon, Poe, be the bigger man.

Poe: Drink your cheap whiskey frm a bigger glass.

GMtR: Look, the fact is you should have been disqualified anyway when Selena here undid that turnbuckle for you. You will wrestle Dr. Infieri on Wednesday and if you win, maybe, just maybe, I'll consider a rematch with The Dead. Now get the hell out of my office!

Poe: Dr. Infieri's blood is on your hands.

GMtR: It always is isn't it?

Poe storms out. Selena follows but sticks her tongue out at theRick before leaving. Once the door closes, theRick looks at his glass questioningly.

GMtR: The bastard's right. Erlana, get me a new glass!

[BookerShark]

<the sports car is speeding down a dark Canadian highway. In the distance we see a lone spot of light that is clearly a dive. Moose turns the wheel of the car and powerslides into the parking lot>

MHJ: You want a drink?

Sta: I have never wanted one more in my life

<Moose and Stank head into the bar, no one notices them and they sit at the bar. Moose has a beer and Stank a shot of whiskey. Then another, then another, then another. He tells the bartender to just keep the bottle at the bar. Moose gets up to go to the bathroom, or something and he bumps into someone>

Stranger: Hey buddy, watch it there eh?

MHJ: What did you……..you’re Hugh “the Polar Bear” Rowland

HR: And you’re Moosehead Jack <Hugh looks over Moose’s shoulder and sees Stank> and that’s Stank

MHJ: You an OOWF fan?

HR: Never miss it. Why don’t you come back and meet some of the boys, drinks are on me

<we cut in time a bit and Hugh, Moose and Stank are all laughing with several other truckers. There are bottles all over the place and they are clearly not sober. As they are laughing, some rich American’s come in, completely overdressed for such a place, look around in disgust and try to order choco-tini’s and Cristal, then get indignant when the bartender doesn’t have that. They finally settle for a regular old dry martini, then complain the whole time>

Rich Snob 1: I say Reginald, this place is BEASTLY

Rich Snob 2: I know! This is worse than those poor sots who had to stay in the quad at Harvard!

<the group of rich kids all laugh at this>

RS1: What is WRONG with Canadians?

RS2: Our fathers should just get together and buy this godforsaken country. Then we could put all the poor people up here, away from us

<Moose and Hugh are just glaring at them>

Sta: Uh Moose, I don’t think this is a good…….

<Moose and Hugh get up and walk over to the group of rich kids>

RS3: Oh dear god, what is THAT?

HR: Boys, I think you have a problem

<the camera fades, but not before we hear glass breaking and rich kids screaming for their lives>

[BookerShark]

[The Dead (YOUR Intercontinental Champion!) is sitting back watching some OOWF-TV. His title belt is slung over his shoulder.]

Poe: *aside to Selena* Of course I did, you only did as you were told. *back to theRick* I demand a rematch, and I demand it next week!

GMtR: No.

Dead: Hahahahahahaha!

[The Dead pats his belt.]

FADE

[BookerShark]

J-P Sparxx is sitting what appears to be a dressing room. He's holding some sort of mask in his hands as he looks down on it, seemingly deep in thought. He starts speaking as if he knew the camera was their the entire time.

J-PS: I. I stand alone.

J-P looks towards the camera with a visibly bruised up nose and a taped over gash above his eye.

J-PS: You don't have the first clue about standing alone Pussy Boy. I stand alone mutha fucka. You? You get that skank of a sister watching your back. And oh, Davin Moreland, I thought we were cool yo's, but I saw you there too.

J-P holds up the mask. It's a nose guard mask painted completely black, except for the eye holes.

J-PS: I painted dis black since I hafta wear it. Know why?

J-P stands up.

J-PS: 'Cuz I'm da Lone Rangah mutha fucka! And now I'ma go all Tonto on your ass! Bring your skank to da ring wit'cha. She hurt ma girl and she's gonna get sum too. Bring your ol' boy Eric O'Mac & Cheese. Wrong place at the wrong time cheese puff. Davin, you can come too. You owe me a 'splaination, knowwhatI'msayin'? And if not, I'll take it out yo ass too. I'm an equal oppurtunity ass kicka this week. And Darling, you little fuck...

J-P puts on the mask and stares into the camera.

J-PS: I just wanted ta embarrass ya. Now, I wanna hurt'cha. J-P's gonna git'cha. KnowhatI'msayin'?

[BookerShark]

COLD OPEN on outside of arena in 100 Mile House, BC. Graphics on the screen read “LAST NIGHT”.

The Crusher Stan Fulton is ~WALKING!~ out of the arena pulling his suitcase. Following him are most of the members of DEVILERS, led by Ecosystem.

Fulton looks into the pre-dawn sky and sighs then turns to his former stablemates.

SF: “Well this is it. Guess you’ll be known as DEVILER from this point forward.”

Fulton reaches out to shake Eco’s hand.

SF: “Thanks for trying. Maybe when I’m half my size I’ll be back.”

Eco: “Are you done with this drama now, Stan? Can we please get on the plane?”

SF: “Do you think I’m not serious after all this time, Eco?”

Eco: “Stan, I know you’re serious. You might be too serious for your own good. But I would of thought that by now you’d have trusted me to make things right in this company.”

SF: “What do you mean?”

Eco: “C’mon. We’re hardly through with saving this company, my friend.”

Eco turns Fulton back to the group and they walk towards the plane.



COLD CUT to a shot of GMtheRick’s office. Graphics on the screen read “Meanwhile”.

A very large, yet nearly empty, glass is on his desk. GMtheRick is on the phone.

GMtR: “I know, Counselor, but I’m looking at the paperwork right here. We’re being sued.

“It’s Eco. He’s gotten his lawyers to file a discrimination and hostile workplace lawsuit on behalf of Stan Fulton.”

. . .

“No, he never actually filed his retirement papers. I swear all this retiring-not retiring crap is all Brett Favre’s fault.”

. . .

“Yes, I know. Michael Jordan did the same thing as, did Roger Clemons. But Favre made it fashionable.”

. . .

“Whatever. Can we still strip him of the DDT title?”

. . .

“Crap. So he’s still a title holder.”

. . .

“What do you mean?”

. . .

“I suppose we can get him a title shot for something. You think they’ll drop the lawsuit if we give him a shot at someone’s belt?”

. . .

“Let’s see. He could face a fellow DEVILER in The Dead for the IC title. I could pair him up with Eco and give them a tag title shot. He’s already faced Firewoman and lost so no way he’s getting a World Title match.

“Hmmm...”

. . .

“What? No, he doesn’t work well in the Onslaught match rules. How ‘bout this? Moreland is the one running his mouth off the most about Fulton’s weight. Let’s give Fulton a chance at Davin in a street fight or cage match?”

. . .

“Moreland will probably beat the shit out of Fulton and we still get out of this legal mess.”

. . .

“I’ll see what I can do. Draw up whatever paperwork you need, Counselor. All I need is Fulton and Eco winning this lawsuit and taking the OOWF as their payment. Bye.”

GMtheRick hangs up the phone, leans back in his chair and rubs his temples.

“Erlana! Get me an even bigger glass. Better yet, get two.”

FADE

[BookerShark]

**L.D. Williams is talking on his cell phone**

LDW: “Of course I’m happy for her Ma, she’s my sister. But, have you seen NXT?…Yeah, but five weeks of televised humiliation. Somebody’s going to say something and you know she’s gonna…I agree, Johnny Ace should be hung from a flagpole, but we’re still dealing with the last time she did that.”

**Williams sees SFJ#5 approaching.**

LDW: “Gotta go, Ma. Talk to you soon.”

SFJ#5: “L.D., Moosehead Jack -”

LDW: “Moosehead Jack is all bent out of shape because his sister is married to an arrogant jerk with more money than he knows what to do with, and might sign a contract with WWE with enough zeroes to do whatever the hell she wants with the rest of her life - I WISH I had those problems. Stank’s teaming with Moose at the moment, so babysitting him is Stank’s problem, not mine. Next.”

SFJ#5: “Any comment on Stan Fulton apparently leaving and now suing the OOWF after loosing the Onslaught Title?”

LDW: “One word - Pathetic. Guys like Fulton and Sparxx come in here wanting veterans like me to step aside and hand them the top spots, and when it doesn‘t happen they whine about respect and opportunity. The bottom line is that like them or hate them, there‘s not a Kevin Nash among the veterans in the OOWF. Granted, We’re not going to hand over our spots - If you want them you’ll have to pry them from our cold, dead hands - but we don’t deny anyone opportunity. All they have to do is make the most of it.”

SFJ#5: “Like when Ravenna Blue defeated you last week At Mayhem? You weren‘t too happy after that match.”

LDW: “Of course I wasn’t happy. I don’t like losing. But that’s exactly the thing I’m talking about. People like Davin Moreland, Alexander Darling, Matt Folz, Firewoman, Ravenna Blue - the list goes on. We give them a chance to step up, and they take it. They earned their place here, not by complaining, by being damn good at what they do.”

SFJ#5: “And now Ravenna is facing Firewoman for the world title this week.”

LDW: “An opportunity that she earned. I plan to have a ringside seat. Firewoman, Ravenna Blue, Alexis - they’re what women in this business should aspire to be - not game show contestants.”

SFJ#5: “Any thoughts on your match with Chad Madison this week?”

LDW: “Nothing to say. Chad can be annoying, but I like the guy. Wrestling him is always a challenge. We’ll tear the place down, as we always do, and may the best man win.”

[BookerShark]

Chad Madison riding to Medicine Hat on the SFJ Bus. He is sitting, suprisingly alone, on his No-Longer Sponsored cell phone. He hangs up and is joined by a blonde SFJ

BSFJ: Aww Chaddiee Poo. You look sad!

Chad: Ehh.. Zane isn't answering his phone OR returning any messages. Was kind of hoping he'd call to say congratulations or something.

BSFJ: Awww.. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?

Chad: No. (Stands up and faces ninjacam) L.D. I appreciate the respect. as you've said before, we usually end up on opposite sides of things around here, but there is no one I whose skills I respect more. You were the first one around here to reach out to Zane and I when we arrived over 3 years ago. We haven't forgotten. On Wednesday, let's go tear the house down. May the best Wrestler win.

[BookerShark]

COLD OPEN on what looks like an office lobby. OOWF-TV is on and The Crusher Stan Fulton is watching LD Williams promo with Ecosystem at his side.

SF: “LD, you’re fucking delusional. How many times have you been dropped on your head? You know concussions are a serious matter. Just ask Justin Morneau. You should get that checked out.

“And just to clarify for your addled brain, I am not suing the OOWF because I lost the Onslaught title. Chad Madison won it fair and square and I congratulate him.

“And also, I’ve never whined about anything in this company. I came in here respecting all the roster and hoping to match up. It was the rest of the roster that whined when I started to beat them.

“I am a three time Onslaught title holder and I’ve been on the roster for all of a little over three months. I haven’t whined or demanded anything. Until now.

ECO: “The disease in this company is rampant and our little legal action is just another way to cleanse the OOWF of this disease. Yes, Stan Fulton is a very large man. No, it’s not because of any of the following, which we’ve heard backstage.

“He did not consume a small child or multiple children.

“He did not swallow a bus.

“He did not attach himself to an air compressor.

“I could go on, but there’s no need. No one in the OOWF makes fun of Firewoman or Ravenna Blue because of their gender. No one singles me out because I’m Asian.”

SF: “You’re Asian?”

ECO: “Funny. The point being is the OOWF has been the one wrestling organization in the world where it didn’t matter what color you were or what gender or if you were tall, short, named after a porn star or mentally retarded. You were a wrestler. End of story.

“But Stan Fulton comes in and it is all the sudden okay to make light of the way a person looks.

“Get this straight. Just because Mr. Fulton has a medical condition that causes excess weight does not make it alright to make light of that condition. Want to make fun of the way he dresses, okay. Because he carries around an axe handle. Acceptable. Those are choices he made. His size. Not okay.”

The administrative assistant’s phone buzzes and he answers it.

AA: “Yes? I’ll send them in.”

He hangs up his phone.

AA: “Mr. Muyo? Mr. Fulton? Ms. Angotti will see you now.”

Juni and Fulton stand and we see they’re in the offices of Parlee McLaws LLP, a noted law firm in Edmonton, Alberta.

ECO: “Keep it up everyone and you’ll be working for Mr. Fulton.”

Eco and Fulton walk into Ms. Angotti’s office and the door closes as we FADE OUT.

[BookerShark]

*Cold open into GM The Rick's office. Eric O'Mac walks in.*

Eric: You wanted to see me?

GMtR: You missed a production meeting Wednesday, and you showed up to Mayhem while the second match was in progress. You barely made it to the ring in time.

Eric: I had a long flight home.

GMtR: Which is part of the problem. You forget that the OOWF travels together when we go overseas.

Eric: Apparently you forgot that everyone on that plane hates me. Even most of my allies.

GMtR: Cry me a river. And what's worse, the sexy female journalist that you were with in Japan? We haven't seen her since you two boarded your private plane in Tokyo.

Eric: We made a quick stop in Hawaii. We dropped her off.

GMtR: Without giving the OOWF notice, we need to fine her as well. But since she isn't around, and because of your blatant misconduct, you will be fined $500,000.

Eric: I guess this is being taken out of my check for the next four months too, right?

GMtR: It would be for the next ten, but after the last time you disappeared, we smartened up and only signed you to a 6 month contract.

Eric: I guess that's fair.

*Eric starts to leave.*

GMtR: One more thing. To deter you from doing this again, I've made a match for this week's Mayhem. Think of it as a punishment.

Eric: Great, who am I facing? Is it Tyler Vanguarde? Because for some reason he REALLY hates me and I have no idea why. We're suppose to friends, or something. Greater cause and all of that.

GMtR: No, it's not Vanguarde. I'm putting you in a triple threat match. One opponent will be Alexander Darling...

Eric: Awesome, we'll tear the house down.

GMtR:...and JP Sparxx.

Eric: WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

GMtR: That got your attention.

Eric: The guy can't even speak properly! His grammar is absolutely terrible, and charismatically, he's a black hole!

GMtR: Be careful, you walking the JB KING line of racism with that remark.

Eric: Ouch. Regardless, can't you just let me and Alex go out there and do what we do best?

GMtR: You mean get fined? Cause me headaches?

Eric: WRESTLE. We don't need that piece of shit holding us down.

GMtR: Then maybe next time we travel overseas, you'll think twice before you decide to board your own plane. And maybe, just maybe, surrounding J-P with guys like you and Darling will get it through his head that nobody understands a word he says.

Eric: So you're saying I HAVE to promo against him.

GMtR: That shouldn't be too hard. After all, you never shut up. He never shuts up. Darling never shuts up. Should be a fun week.

Eric: Fine, I'll humor you this week. But next week, I want something real. Let me and Matt Folz wrestle again. Put me against Firewoman. Let me and Ecosystem chase after the tag titles, or let me and Dead battle over the I-C Title. Hell, I'd rather face Ravenna Blue. She's not in my league, but she's better than this.

GMtR: So noted, and I'll take it under advisement.

*Eric walks out of Rick's office. Fade out.*

[BookerShark]

Alexis Darling walsk towards GMtheRick's office. She reaches the door and is about to open it, when she decides to knock instead.

theRick: Come in!

AD: You wanted to see me?

In theRick's office are theRick, Erlana, and a distinguished black gentleman in a fancy suit and tie. He stands, tucks his tie back into his suit and offers Alexis his hand.

AD: Uh, hi?

DBG: You must be Miss Alexis Darling. It is a pleasure to meet you.

AD: You...too?

theRick: Alexis have a seat. This gentleman here...

theRick is cut off by J-P Sparxx walking into the office, helping Jewel, who has a neckbrace on and is walking with a cane. The Distinguished Black Gentleman helps Jewel take a seat and sits alongside her. J-P stands behind her.

theRick: Alexis...

J-PS: We suin' yo ass, bitch!

AD: What??

DBG: I am Johnson Cochram from Cohram & Associates. I am filing a civil lawsuit on behalf of my client, Miss Jewel Washington, for aggrevated assault against Miss Alexis Darling here.

AD: This can't be serious?! When we sign our contracts, we sign waivers and...

theRick: Jewel did not sign a waiver since she's a valet. You didn't sign yours until you became an active wrestler.

AD: This is so fucking stupid...

JC: The filing will take place in the Provincial Court of British Columbia. You will be required to appear in Victoria on...

theRick: Wait a minute...

JC: Is there a problem Mr. Rick?

theRick: You're suing for a jillion dollars?

JC: That seems fair for time and suffering. Miss Darling family is quite well off...

theRick: A Jillion isn't even a real number! Are you even a real lawyer?

J-P gets in Cohram's face.

J-P: I told you to put billion you dumbass!

AD: I'm out.

Alexis leaves quickly.

Jewel: Ah, hell, can I take dis damn brace off now?

theRick: All three of you, get the hell out of my office!!

J-P, Jewel, and Johnson Cochram leave the office. J-P can still be heard yelling at Cochram as they walk away.

Er: If only the other lawsuit were this easy, right boss?

theRick says nothing, but just takes a swig of his drink.

[BookerShark]

A ninja cam fades in to GM The Rick’s office. Chris Evans opens the door.

E: Hey Rick, I’ve got an issue with you right now.

GMTR: Evans, what the hell are you doing out of the hospital?

E: Doctors cleared me for action, which is what I came to see you about.

GMTR: How’s that possible? You lost like half of your blood.

E: Guess I’m just a quick healer. So anyway, like I was saying...

GMTR: Before you say anything, you’re not getting another match with Bryce. Due to your actions on Sunday, there’s no way in hell that you & Bryce are facing each other again. I’ve got enough problems on my hands as it is, and I don’t need another Moose/Darling-type feud around here.

E: Relax Rick, this thing between Bryce & I is over. He wanted to take me to Hell, and I went there with him. Only thing is, I survived it. Bryce on the other hand, wasn’t as lucky. No telling when he’s coming back.

GMTR: Look, I know that I said it was unsanctioned, but for what you did to him, that is the only reason why you’re not sitting in a prison cell right now for attempted murder.

E: I warned him not to push me to that point. The blood is on his hands Rick. Not my hands. His hands! And what I did to Bryce on Sunday was done to send a message to Ecosystem and the rest of E Devils that if they continue to fuck around with Valor and the rest of the OOWF, those same actions will be repeated. It was a necessary evil. It needed to be done that way.

GMTR: Necessary evil? *scoff* Sounds like something Ecosystem would say.

Evans knocks Rick to the ground.

GMTR: What the fuck is wrong with you Evans?! Do that again, and...

E: Shut your fucking mouth Rick!!! Don’t you EVER compare me to that psychopath again! You fucking hear me Rick?! I am NOTHING like him! You fucking got that?! NOTHING!!

Familiar voice: Chris...

Chris looks to the door and sees Ravenna Blue, who witnessed his attack.

E: Ravenna...don’t take this the wrong way. He labeled me as something that I’m not. I’m in control of myself.

Evans walks towards Ravenna, who looks uncomfortable and backs away.

E: Ravenna...look, I know what happened Sunday. You heard what I had said though. I’m finished with Bryce. What I did there was to send a message to Eco and his group that if they stop this mindless purification crusade of theirs, I have no reason to ever do something like that again. And even if I do, you’re my ally. You’ve got no reason to fear me.

R: *sigh* I don’t know Chris.

E: Look Ravenna, you need to realize that Ecosystem is a serious threat. This ain’t something we can handle with kid gloves. We gotta show them that we are a threat to them.

R: I know, but...

E: They already took out Crete. I’m not losing anyone else in Valor to them.

R: ...You’re right. But I can’t bring myself to do something like that.

E: Hey, nobody thought I was capable of something like that either, and I proved them wrong. I know you’ve got a mean streak within you, and I know that it’s not something that you wanna bring out. I know it’s not in your nature to do so. But you can’t compete with a threat like E DEVILS if you keep appearing so vulnerable to them. And you sure as hell won’t be able to compete against someone as bloodthirsty and unrepentant of their action as Firewoman is.

R: I know, but...

E: I know you’ve got what it takes. Now stop holding back and just go for it!

R: I’ll try.

E: There is no try. Just do it!

R: You’re right.

GMTR: Are you two finished? You are? Good. Then get the hell out of my office!!!

Evans and Ravenna leave.

GM The Rick takes a sip of his whiskey and shakes his head

GMTR: *sigh* God, I need another vacation.

*fade to black*

[BookerShark]

*Fade in. Eric walks into GM the Rick's Office.*

Eric: You want another vacation?

GMtR: Yes.

Eric: Why don't you let me take over as General Manager for a few months?

GMtR: No, damnit! We've already done that.

Eric: We did? I don't seem to recall it...

GMtR: That's because you never came in for work!

Eric: Now, honestly, Rick, does that sound like something I would do?

GMtR: Yes! It does!

Eric: I think someone has been hitting the bottle a little too heavily lately. Next thing you know, you're going to say that Randy Orton sucks.

GMtR: Out, damnit! And Randy Orton DOES suck!

Eric: You don't mean that...

GMtR: Get the hell out!

Eric: Does this mean you'll think about my offer?

GMtR: No! Get the hell out of my office!

Eric: Fine, jackass.

*Eric walks out. Fade out.*

[BookerShark]

Selena is leaning on what seems to be a bat (we can't see it). She's swaying her hips from side to side while humming a song. She then looks at the camera.

Sa-T: Dr. Inferierererererrer whatever your name is. I'd like you to meet my little friend.

The camera pans down and she is leaning on Happy Dethbat (now with a yellow smiley face painted on it).

Sa-T: Omar is not happy. He doesn't want to face you. He wants your friend, Mr. Living Dead Boy. But he has you. Maybe you should meet OUR friend. Mr. Happy Dethbat.

Selena dances a little jig with Happy Dethbat when Poe comes up behind her. He wraps his arms around her, running his hands down her arms to the handle of Happy Dethbat. Selena looks up at him and smiles.

Poe: Dr. Infieri. You will play the role of The Dead this week.

Poe lifts Happy Dethbat up to his level to look at it. He then lowers it and stares into the camera.

Poe: May the gods have mercy on your soul. Namaste.

Sa-T: Smile for the Camera Dr. Feelbad!

[BookerShark]

A 2011 red with black Bugatti Veryon 16.4 comes screaming in to the parking lot at the arena in Medicine Hat, Alberta. It slides into a parking spot. The passenger wing door opens, and Lucky falls out kissing the ground. Firewoman gets out of the other side, smirks, takes a drag off her cigarette and closes her door, walking around to the other side.

FW: Oh for gods' sake, it wasn't that bad.

L: Yes. Yes it was. I don't know what's more terrifying. You driving in a bad mood or in ... this... what is it? A good mood? It's so rare for you.

FW: Very funny.

L: *sarcastically* Whatever could be the reason?

FW: Get my stuff and let's go....uh....

L: Where?

FW: Well, Rick's office I guess. Maybe Bunny's closet is available for a room.

L: I hate closets.

FW: Well, we can't very well go to the Chamber now, can we.

L: No...I would guess not now.

FW: What the hell does that mean.

L: Nothing...just....well, after.....I just mean there's a fairly obvious suite of rooms that I'm sure the people there...well, the one.....not sure about the other....anyway you could--

FW: Let's not push it, okay? We'll...we'll see. Now, for the love of all that is holy, shut up. I've never known anyone who can talk for 1,000 kilometers, non stop, about both everything and nothing all at once.

L: Fine...I'm just saying "annulment" may not be the word you're looking for now...

Fire glares at Lucky who takes that as his last warning and shuts the hell up. Fire throws her World Championship Belt over her shoulder as Lucky gets the bags out of the back, and walks in towards the office. She hits the entrance and is immediately greeted by Ravenna Blue.

RB: Firewoman! I've been looking for you.

Fire looks at her, puts her cigarette out in the appropriate place, and keeps walking. Ravenna follows her.

RB: I just wanted to say...I know we're on opposite sides, so to speak, but it's really an honor to be your opponent for that World Title you have there. I mean, you really blazed a trail for me...for all women really...who want to succeed and be taken seriously in this business.

Fire stops and gets a drink of water at drinking fountain. Ravenna stops and waits, and then continues on, somewhat behind her.

RB: I mean, really, in what other company would TWO WOMEN be competing for the top belt in the company, and it not be some sort of ridiculous Diva My Pretty Pony belt, or some other nonsense! And I think it's largely because of your efforts in your career that we have both reached this level.

Fire stops, looks at her, and lights another cigarette and keeps walking.

RB: Not that...I'm not saying we're on the same level at all... I mean you've been here a couple of years, and I totally get that I'm pretty much riding your coattails, but I think I've held my own and....

Fire gets stopped by a production assistant, who gives her some things to sign. She continues on without giving Ravenna another look.

RB: Hey...you know....*Ravenna reaches out, grabs Fire by the shoulder and spins her around, so she's facing her. Fire is momentarily shocked by this*....I'm talking to you here. The least you could do is acknowledge me.

Firewoman pauses, and then is no longer shocked. You can tell because she nails Ravenna in the mouth with a quick right punch that though quick, spins Ravenna around and down on one knee.

FW: There. You've been acknowledged.

Firewoman walks away, while the production assistant from before assists Ravenna.

[BookerShark]

As the production assistant leans over he’s shoved out of camera range by an axe handle.

The Crusher Stan Fulton stands over Ravenna Blue, his frame blocking out the sun coming in through the arena doors. Ravenna is preparing to defend herself when Fulton puts a hand out and helps her to her feet.

SF: “Ma’am.”

Fulton walks off leaving Ravenna more than a little confused.

CUT to Fulton ~WALKING!~ to GMtheRick’s office where he knocks on the door.

GtR through the door: “C..c..come in?”

Fulton opens the door and Rick, seeing who it is, pours himself a very, very large glass of whiskey.

GtR: “I can’t talk to you without our lawyers present.”

SF: “They’re watching OOWF-TV, I’m sure. Besides, my lawsuit is with the company, not the General Manager. And, you’re still my boss. I just wanted to say that I have no hard feelings towards you.

“I wish you’d have been harder on the roster regarding the hostile workplace, but I hope we can move on from this point without any hard feelings.”

GtR: “That’s very big of you, Stan.”

SF: “What’s that supposed to mean?”

GtR: “I.. uh..”

SF: “Big of me? You making fun of my weight, sir?”

GtR: “No.. uh.. NO! It’s just an expression!”

SF: “You leave me no choice, but to add you to the lawsuit. I have it all on tape of course.”

At this Fulton looks over to the cameraperson and the image moves up and down as if the cameraperson is nodding.

SF: “Thanks for the week off, but I’ll still be around in case someone needs a bodyguard or someone for some “heavy” lifting. Thanks a lot, boss.”

Fulton leaves, closes the door gently and Rick drops back into his chair.

GtR Halfheartedly: “Get the hell out of my office. Oy vey.”

FADE

[BookerShark]

<Cold open to Ravenna, stalking down the hall of random encounters. A look of frustration on her face and a small trail of blood from her lip has been left untended and a few drops have speckled Ravenna's white t-shirt. She hears the showers running and sees Lucky standing outside on the phone, holding Fire's leather jacket.>

Lucky: <into the telephone.>She wants to know why she doesn't have a dressing room with her own shower like usual.

<Ravenna looks at Lucky and an odd smile crosses her face as she heads into the shower room, Ninja Cameraman #28 follows. She turns the corner and sees Fire turn the showers on, white tank top and jeans still on. Fire kicks off her boots and pulls off her black bandanna. Ravenna stalks over to her.>

FW: Ready for another dance so soon, cupcake?

RB: You know, I was trying to let you know I admired you. Despite the fact that you wreak havoc on this organization, yourself...and your brother.

<Fire jumps to her feet and just stares at Ravenna.>

RB: Nothing to say to that eh? Not enough to make yourself miserable is it, gotta make him miserable too?

FW: Our emotional states are none of your fucking business, sunshine. So back out of my way.

RB: You're right, it wouldn't be if you weren't pulling this stuff out in the open like such a Diva.

<Firewoman hauls back and swings at Ravenna's face again, but she was anticipating the attack and ducks under it, lunging at Fire and slamming her into the wall, paying no mind to the running shower drenching them.>

<Fire begins a relentless assault of punches on Ravenna's injured shoulder, forcing Ravenna to let go and take a step back. Fire shoots a kick to Ravenna's midsection, doubling her over and pulling her to her, Fire sets her up for a suplex, but the now-soaked Ravenna wriggles free, throwing Fire off of her back into the water. >

<Fire lunges back at her and grabs Ravenna by the throat, pushing her back up against the sinks on the far wall. Desperate to get Fire off her, Ravenna reaches for something to hit her with. She grabs at the first thing she can find, pulling a plastic soap dispenser from it's metal frame on the wall, bringing the hard plastic down on Fire's head.>

<Fire lets go, as the liquid soap pours down her. Furious, she grabs Ravenna and attempts to throw her to the floor, but the wet floor makes them both lose their footing and they slide into a pile of the floor. Both women rolling around, throwing punches, grabbing hair and rolling to assert position over the other, working up quite the lather. The now soapy OOWF women roll back into the showers, their white shirts clinging to them as they viciously pound away at each other.>

<The women are a mass of suds and water as Fire gets the upperhand, straddling Ravenna, both women's hair clinging to their faces. Fire reaches down and her hands shoot again to Ravenna's throat, squeezing the life out of her.>

<Ravenna grabs futilely at Fire, avoiding the obvious punches to the ribcage available to her and starts splashing around at anything on the wet shower floor, hoping to find something she can grab a hold of. A rough hand grabs onto Fire's shoulder and starts to pull her off as the cameraman pans out to reveal Alexis Darling.>

AD: Fire, for Christ's sake, cut this shit out.

<Fire holds on for another long moment, leaning in to look into Ravenna's eyes before releasing and letting the increasingly damp Alexis pull her off.>

<Alexis pulls Fire away and places herself in between the two women as Ravenna chokes and sputters for a moment in the growing pool of water. She sits up and looks at the two of them standing there.>

AD: What in the hell is going on here?

FW: <Spits her words out like venom> Someone decided to try and grow a pair on the wrong day.

AD: And what was so wrong with the showers in the Darling's locker room?

FW: A little too...claustrophobic for me.

<Alexis wrings out her own hair and looks from one woman to the other.>

AD: Did you girls seriously have a hair pulling shower brawl wearing white t-shirts?

<Fire and Ravenna look down to see what happens when white t shirts get wet. Ravenna crosses her arms a bit self-consciously. Fire shrugs.>

FW: I didn't start this fight.

<Alexis looks at her disbelievingly and walks over to help Ravenna to her feet. There is a tense moment as Ravenna and Fire stare daggers at one another. When Jewel enter the shower room.>

Jewel: Hey, what you all be fightin' about?!

<The three soaked women exchange glances and look back to Jewel, completely unprepared for the TRIPLE SUPERKICK she receives, laying her out. Without another word, the three women all walk off in different directions as the camera fades out on the unconscious Jewel.>

[BookerShark]

Ecosystem is being interviewed backstage by Expert Legal Analyst Geraldo Rivera.

Rivera: Weight discrimination? In a SPORT? Really?

Eco: Look, obesity may not be considered up to the level of strict scrutiny in all cases, but it's clearly trending in that direction. Michigan and Washington D.C. have already made it a protected category, other states will obviously follow suit. Current law that distinguishes it from disability is doomed to collapse--the only reason so many weight discrimination cases are lost is because foolish lawyers refuse to "go there."

Rivera: Right, but discrimination on the basis of disability within the context of athletic competition fulfills even strict scrutiny as being both narrowly tailored to the work and fulfilling a compelling interest.

Eco: Cute. Did you learn that from Wikipedia?

Rivera: I...I did some research--

Eco: If you had done research, you would know the difference between strict scrutiny as it applies to racial cases and as it applies to cases of religion or individual state-protected subgroups. But you should know you couldn't out-research a Yale man.

Somewhere, an audience boos the cheap heat.

Perhaps if there was a statute to prohibit the hiring of the overweight out of health liability reasons prior, your poor phrasing could be applicable. But there was no such statute. On the case at hand, my client is the former Onslaught Champion and the current DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion--he is perfectly capable of performing his job. And the institution of that statute after the fact clearly indicates a motivation outside the realm of good faith.

But this is boring to you, isn't it? It's not news. News is violence, news is controversy to you, is it not?

Rivera: No, inform--

Eco: Shut up and follow me.

Eco walks down the Hallway of Random Encounters and kicks open a door labeled "No entrance permitted" to reveal Poe and Selena inside.

Eco: Threatening my compatriots again? Did you not get the message yet...Boy?

Poe walks up to Eco, swinging Dethbat.

Poe: This is not a fight you want to have, Juni.

Eco: You're right, Omar. I hate all fights. Sadly, too many messages require them.

Poe's eyes dart over to a rustling curtain. He immediately swings Happy Dethbat at behind to hit...nothing. Out from behind another door, he is jumped and knocked down from behind by Stan Fulton, holding a string connected to the curtain.

Eco: You're so smart too. Another employment bonus.

Fulton: Big Spooky trusts his lying eyes a bit too much.

Poe gets up, growling, and chopblocks Fulton down on his ass. He slaps Eco hard, backs up a second--HIEROGLYPH to Eco! Poe reaches for the bat, but sees it is gone--and then finds it again, swinging into his back thanks to Tyler Vangarde! Infieri grabs Poe around the back and pulls him up as Vangarde drops the bat--DOCTOR BOMB! Dr. Infieri powerbombs Poe onto his own Dethbat as he howls.

Selena: (shrieking) Get away from him, you sucky suckfaces!

Selena runs at Dr. Infieri, but is held back and pushed away by The Dead, who enters with Eric O'Mac as Eco begins to stir.

Dead: Seems no extra help was needed here?

EOM: Of course it was. Idiot Tyler over here forgot to come in before Poe knocked Juni's head off.

Vangarde: Where the hell were you, you arrogant piece of shit?

Tyler and Eric go nose to nose before Fulton breaks them up, forcefully. Dead bends down to Poe, angered but unable to stand, touches his blood and spreads it on his title.

Dead: This is the closest you're getting to this title, no matter how many shots you take.

Infieri: No one's blood will be on your hands but your own.

Tyler: Well, he could always pitch in with this rich twit--

EOM: One shot, I'm begging you.

Fulton: Shut up. (helping a woozy Eco up) We're done here. Back to the Burger King, and we'll give Bryce a check-in call. The Five can meet us there if they like...or they can hide like they always do when out-numbered. If they care about this man at all.

Dead: You want me to order a few Whoppers in advance?

Fulton: ...That some kind of weight crack?

Dead: Wha--

Fulton: Saying the big man can't wait a FEW MINUTES FOR FOOD?

Dead: Stan, I--

Fulton: I'm just screwing with you. Move.

E-DEVILERS exit.

FADE

[BookerShark]

<Moose is sitting in the Chamber drinking when Poe walks in. Poe stands there but doesn’t say anything for a moment, Moose doesn’t even acknowledge him>

Poe: I saw what you said to Fire. Someone had to do it. That woman is out of control, her impetuousness and self centeredness will be the ruin of us all. She has to be put in her……

MHJ: <without looking up> Poe, I really think you are the LAST fucking person that needs to comment on what Fire needs right now.

Poe: She is out of control, I tried, she wouldn’t let it go

MHJ: You are just as much to blame

Poe: <chuckling> Hardly

<Moose spins off his stool and charges across the room and goes nose to nose with Poe>

MHJ: Really? REALLY OMAR? You want to talk about not letting things go? How about Japan? You couldn’t let it the fuck go that Fire had the BALLS to deny your advances. You couldn’t let it go that she wouldn’t just be your plaything. YOU have had JUST as much a hand in this getting out of control as she did.

Poe: <snarling> You forget your place……Ket

MHJ: <snapping> MY place? Let me remind you Omar, MY FUCKING PLACE was at your SIDE, not BEHIND you. Lets also not forget I saved your ass just as many times, if not more, than you saved MY ass. I am not some fucking lackey, see what treating me like one gets you

Poe: Are you threatening me?

MHJ: I am saying, right now, I really don’t have a problem with you. What is between you and Fire is between you and Fire, but you are BOTH stubborn assholes. If Rick gives the two of you a match, I hope like hell you both go out and beat the shit out of each other, then it is done. If she wins, she wins.

Poe: And when I win?

MHJ: IF you win, then same thing it is over.

Poe: <stepping closer to Moose> And what if I don’t want it to be over?

MHJ: Your spooky shit may work on others, but you know goddamn well it won’t work on me. I just did something you couldn’t do, I put Darling in the hospital. You want to go? We’ll go. Just be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. Trust me

<Moose turns and storms out of the Chamber. The camera pans back to Poe who is standing there snarling. The camera moves a little to the left and we see Selena standing in the doorway>