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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:01:25 GMT -5
Continuity is in a big emo ball in the corner, threatening to cut himself, so.... Eco, Fulton, Dead, EOM, Vangarde are WALKING~! away from The Chamber in between Eco and Moose's promos, looking pleased with themselves. As Poe cleans himself up, DEVIL walk away from The Chamber and turn a corner and see a dried off and re-dressed Firewoman standing there, with her garrote and bullwhip.
FW: Howdy, boys.
Eric O' Mac: I'll handle this. How ya doin', toots?
FW: *raises an eyebrow* Wow, you're still here? I figured you'd have gotten bored and left by now.
EOM: Funny. Ha. Now, you're pretty stupid, but I don't think even you are stupid enough to take us five on one. I mean, if it wasn't a fight, you probably would, but--
Eric doesn't finish his statement when Fire takes her whip and cracks it, wrapping around his ankles and pulling him off balance. He falls to the ground.
EOM: HEY! You can't do that to me!!
FW: Now, I'm not that smart, but I think I can do common math, so now we're down to four. Anyone else want to step up?
Dead merely smiles, while Vangarde and Fulton nod at each other and advance. As they do, LD and Stank appear on either side of Firewoman.
FW: Oops. Guess I'm not as stupid as you thought, huh Eric?
LD and Stank approach. Stank and Fulton square off and exchange punches. Big...slow...punches. LD and Vangarde do the same, albeit with a little more speed. Firewoman stands between them laughing. Dead starts to approach, but Eco holds him back.
Eco: No, no, Dead. This is about me.
They begin to walk toward each other.
FW: You think? Only because you violated the sanctity of The Chamber, for no REAL reason other than you think you can without any repercussions. Well, guess what.
Eco: You are one to talk about repercussions. I didn't know you knew the word.
FW: Oh trust me....*batistalaugh*... I've been made painfully aware that my actions have repercussions. You still seem to be lacking this knowledge.
Eco: And you're going to give it to me?
FW: Maybe.
Eco: Fire...you make me sad. Why can't you be...well, why can't you be more like your mother? She's embraced what she's learned, the lessons that have come so hard for her, and for you.....she's so sorry about what she turned you into--
Fire attacks at this, but Eco calmly deflects her punches. LD and Stank are still tied up with Vangarde and Fulton, and don't see that Eric has gotten out of his predicament, and he and Dead coordinate an attack, that has them quickly grasping Fire by the shoulders. She struggles, but they do just barely hold on.
FW: Get your hands off me.
Eco: I've never admired your spirit more than when you're cornered, my dear. Answer me this, Fire. Why come to Poe's defense? Or anyone in the Five. Didn't your own brother kick you out?
FW: I don't owe you an explanation.
Eco: No?
Eco takes the garrote from around Fire's neck and holds it in front of her.
Eco: Have you ever had this around your neck, like you put it around mine?
FW: Do what you gotta do...you're still a FAILURE.
Eco growls and wraps the garrote around Fire's neck, and tightens it. Not all the way, but just enough to get his point across.
Eco: See, Fire... this is what it feels like. It's symbolic of the bonds of addition and obsession. Your obession with violence, with revenge, with random sexual encounters....
FW: *glares*
Eco: Oh, I read the subtext. It's just like this. It chokes you...depriving you of the much needed oxygen of a wholesome life. So tell me Fire...why do you come to their defense?
FW: *her voice quieter because of the garrote* Because we are the Five. And the Five transcends all. Even our disagreements.
Eco drops his head.
Eco: You make me sad, Fire. I wonder....do you know what it felt like when you were choking Ravenna?
FW: Yeah. Felt great.
Eco's eyes flash with rage, as he tightens the garrote. Fire simply smiles at him.
FW: Go on....do it. You won't......*her voice gets quieter*....because you're a--
Fire's sentence is cut off as LD and Stank have apparently finally dispatched with their opponents, and hit Dead and Vangarde with matching super kicks. This drives them back, but Fire drops, and this pulls the garrote unexpectedly tighter. Eco seems pleased by this.
Eco: Yeah, really think I wouldn't do it? If it meant releasing you from your pain? From your suffocating lifestyle? *he whips the bandana off* You even bear the mark of excess, of false gods, courtesy of your husband-in-sin.
Fire looks up at Eco, smiles, and her eyes start to roll back in her head. Eco pauses for just one minute too long when he's hit by a boot to the face. Alexander Darling has come from nowhere and hits a flying mafia kick. Fire drops in a heap, and starts coughing. Darling looks around, in a rage, he grabs Eco up into crucifix position and tosses him through a random catering table. Dead and Eric start to approach.
AD: C'mon...I dare you.
Something about his eyes, suggests to Dead and Eric they should beat a hasty retreat. LD and Stank pick up Firewoman and the four of them go the opposite direction.
LDW: Okay, let's get you back to The-
FW: NO! *her voice barely audible, and she coughs after she yells it.
Stank: C'mon Fire, enough.
FW: Not while Poe's there, and not while Moose is still.....
Stank: ....
AD: ......
LDW: *sigh* I hate this. Fine go with him *he gestures toward Alex* Get her to medical and then--
AD: I think i know how to take care of my...I can handle it from here.
Stank and LD nod, and slowly head back to the Chamber. Alex puts Fire's arm around his shoulder and they head the opposite direction.
AD: Seriously? What were you thinking? And why did you not fight back?
FW: *cough cough gasp*
AD: Okay...later...we'll add it to the list of things to talk about 'later.'
Cut back to the chamber and Moose bumps into LD and Stank as he storms out.
Stank: Now what....
LDW: *sigh*
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:02:11 GMT -5
LD Williams and Stank enter Chamber V. Poe is at the bar having a drink, while Selena is bandaging him up.
LDW: So what happened here?
Poe: The usual. I mention my opponent ina promo and I get attacked 6 on 1.
Stank: You're such a bad ass, you should be able to handle that.
Poe: Well, I AM pretty used to never having backup.
Stank: Well, for your information, Firewoman oranzined a quick counter attack. So, you're welcome.
Sa-T: She did what?
LDW: She did. The three of us...plus Darling beat E-DEVILS or whatever they're called down.
Poe says nothing. He seems to snicker.
Poe: Firewoman stood up for me. Her so-called partner. And she got hubby dear to help.
Poe sits the drink down. He takes Selena's hands to make her stop bandaging his head.
Poe: She might be finally learning.
Poe leads Selena towards the bedchamber.
Poe: Shame it may be too late.
Poe slams the door ebhind them.
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:02:41 GMT -5
<Moose is headed down the hall when he is stopped by SFJ13>
SFJ13: Moose can I have a moment of your time?
MHJ: No, not now, I have somewhere to be
SFJ13: Where?
MHJ: Is that really any of your business? I am headed to check on Fire, I heard she was in medical
SFJ13: Yeah, Alexander Darling took her to the medical tent
<Moose stops dead in his tracks and turns to SFJ13>
MHJ: What?
SFJ13: Alexander Darling helped her to medical a few minutes ago after she retaliated against DEVILS
<Moose just looks around, seemingly not knowing where to go. He starts laughing, but the laugh of someone who is not well>
MHJ: Well it finally happened. Ok, that's it. I'm fucking done. Stank, I have your back, I am with you 100% in taking on Drink & Destroy, you have nothing to worry about. LD, if you want, or need my help, I am right here.
<Moose starts to walk away>
SFJ13: What about Poe?
MHJ: Poe doesn't seem to want, or need, our help. So fuck him.
SFJ13: And Firewoman?
MHJ: <laughing that disturbing laugh again> Fire? Well Fire got what she wanted. You know, all I fucking heard before my match with Darling was how I was putting her in the middle, blah, blah, blah. I didn't pay attention to her because I was focused on Darling. But now, I see her point. She has managed to put me right in the middle. But you know what Fire? No more. I am not going to force you to decide anything, the very fact that you are still with that spineless little fuck means you have already made your decision. Have a great fucking life.
<Moose turns away laughing that disturbing laugh and disappears out the arena into the night>
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:03:13 GMT -5
We're in a dark room. Suddenly, someone pulls the chain on a light bulb. It's Poe. He taps the lightbulb making it swing back and forth, and in doing so, we can see Selena sitting in the corner.
Poe: The single lightbulb in a dark room. I do believe this was your staple, yes Ket? I mean, Moosehead Jack.
Poe holds out his hand for Selena.
Poe: Beloved, come here.
Sa-T: I don't wanna be part of a promo against Uncle Moose.
Poe sighs and turns back to the camera.
Poe: Ket, you were never a lackey to me. If anything, you were like a brother. You were my first, Hell, only choice for a partner when I debuted here. We go back a long way.
Poe taps the lightbulb again.
Poe: So when you came to me to join you in The Five, I did not think twice. Once again joining my brother in war. I knew LD Williams would come along too, which suited me just fine, for he is truly a remarkable athlete and man.
Poe's eyes turn dark.
Poe: Then you dropped the bomb. Firewoman was your sister. She would join us in our destiny to rule the OOWF. *Hmph* That was...unexpected. And unadvised, but I let it be. She was your sister, your blood. She became your world, Ket. That is where you got lost, brother.
Poe grabs the chord holding the lightbulb to stop it from swigning. Selena moves from her corner and stands in front of him, facing the camera.
Poe: You will always be my brother, Ket. But this person you have become... I do not recognize him. This shell of a man; I will destroy him if he crosses me. Look deep, Ket. Find yourself again. Before it is too late... For all of us...
Poe crushes the lightbulb in his hand. Selena takes his hand and smears the traces of blood on her cheeks.
Sa-T: Namaste. Jack Quinn.
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:03:41 GMT -5
*ninja camera catches up to a party in the Destroyitarium with DVD holding court, assisted by several of Wally B King's relaxation therapy associates. At a booth to the side, DDT and OBJ are sitting. OBJ is wearing a brace on his knee and a pair of crutches are propped against the booth*
OBJ: You did well, mate.
*DDT shakes his head*
OBJ: They may have won a battle but they didn't win the war.
*DDT raises his eyebrows*
OBJ: The docs cleared me to go next week, and whatever does not kill me makes me stronger, mate.
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:04:11 GMT -5
*Stank bursts into the room where Poe has just finished cutting his promo.*
Stank - HEY!
Poe - What?
Stank - You didn't mention ME in that little promo of yours!
Poe - Uh...?
Stank - THREE TIME TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS BROTHER! YOU AND ME!
Poe - I know.
Stank - What! YOU don't consider that an accomplishment? YOU don't think that's worth a mention?
Poe - I don't feel it relevant to my poin-
Stank - NOT RELEVANT??? Well FUCK YOU too, MOTHERFUCKER!
Poe - Stank... C'mon, man?
Stank - NO! I'M TIRED of the BULLSHIT!
*Stank SLAMS the door and walks out to the Chamber V common area. LD looks at Stank confused.*
LDW - You're not seriously angry over that, are you?
Stank - *HMMMPH!*
LDW - What the hell does *hmmph* mean?
Stank - I'm going off into the night, to find Moose. You coming?
LDW - Actually I'm headed to medical to check on Fire. Moose is your problem, now.
Stank - You mean my solution.
LDW - Whatever.
*Stank stalks off as the camera fades.*
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:04:47 GMT -5
Firewoman is sitting in medical done being checked out. The door opens.
FW: Moose?
AD: Sorry, just me...
FW: Oh....well, it's okay... I just.
AD: I know...it's okay. You good to go? Doc?
Med: Yeah...I'm not even going to bother to tell her to stay out of trouble and take it easy. No one listens.
FW: Moose isn't out there?
AD: I didn't see him. We can go back to The Chamber if you want.
FW: No...it's okay. I--
Firewoman stops talking as she sees Moose's last promo on the OOWF-TV monitor. It stops and the screen goes to black. Fire keeps staring at the television.
FW: ....
AD: Fire....it'll be fine. He's just mad.
Fire nods but doesn't move.
FW: I don't get it.... I thought...when I saw DEVIL coming out of The Chamber...I thought....so I got LD and Stank and .... that doesn't matter?
AD: It does...it will, he'll ... he'll see. C'mon, let's get you some rest.
Fire gets down off the table, but it's clear she's not really paying attention. Alex waves his hands in front of her face, but she just blinks. He sighs and guides her back to the Darling suite of rooms. They walk in and Alexis stands, concerned.
LD: Well? Are you okay?
AD: No permanent damage. Should be back to normal in a few days at the most. Fire... why don't you go lay down, get some rest...
Fire nods and walks into Alexander's room. Lexie watches her, in shock and turns back to her brother.
LD: Alex...
AD: *sitting down on the sofa, rubbing his eyes* Not now, Lexie....I know what you're thinking but...just... not now.
LD: Oh yes, now....HELL yes now.
AD: No. Not now. Not ever. It's...it's none of your business, first of all, and second... did you see what Moose said? Did you see what he did yesterday?
LD: Yeah, but I don't see why--
AD: Imagine how you would feel if I said those things to you... about you...
LD: ....
AD: ....
LD: Oh...yeah...I'd be as shattered as she looks....still...this isn't a good idea. Remember last ti--
AD: *standing up Seriously, Lexie...not now. I'm going to go check on her.
Alexander goes the direction Fire went. Alexis sits back on the sofa, looking very unhappy.
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:06:26 GMT -5
Chad Madison sits alone in his dressing room. Apparently, the SFJ's had a mandatroy training session and he wasn't allowed to come along and distract them...
Chad (dialing his cell phone): Let's try again.
Ninjacam mic picks up the sounds
"Ring"
"Ring"
"Ring"
"Ring"
"I'm sorry the person you are calling had a voicemail inbox that is full. Please try again later"
Chad: Damn Zane. Return a phone call once in a while.
Man it's quiet around here.
(He puts his head in his hands and pouts as we fade.....)
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:09:49 GMT -5
(Tytan is with a SFJ and blah...blah...blah.)
Tytan: Look it seems Eco is forgetting something. I am not done with him, I will not be done with him until I destroy him and what he represents. So I will simply do this I issue a challenge to you Eco at The PPV you and me one more time. And this time let's end this once and for all. I want a you in a Buried Alive match. I am tired of playing games with you and I am tired of you avoiding me.
I am also going to have to agree with Davin on this and I am tired of being put in some variation of the same match over and over again. But what are you going to do. Valor had already beaten The Devil's Brood so what else can we do. We still haven't been give the chance to destroy you once and for all. But we will have to see what happens.
But back to you Eco. You still owe me and these Fans one more match. Think about it and to borrow your line....the phone lines are open.
(FADE)
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:10:34 GMT -5
<Moose is sitting alone at the bar of one of Medicine Hat's seedier dives. No one is anywhere near him, even the bartender is keeping his distance. As Moose sits there pounding drinks and smoking cigars, someone walks up and sits right next to him and orders a drink. Moose doesn't even look up>
MHJ: Why are you here?
<the camera pans around and we see that it is Ravenna Blue sitting there>
RB: I wanted a drink
MHJ: You?
RB: I do drink Moose, I am not Crete
MHJ: Fine. Drink up
<a bit of time passes and finally Ravenna speaks>
RB: So I am facing your sister this week
MHJ: Yep
RB: You have any thoughts on that?
MHJ: She is the champion. You got a title shot. What is there to think about?
RB: Well the stuff with The Five.......
MHJ: <snorting> I said this before. Unless there are five of us, there is no Five. Poe doesn't seem interested. Fire apparently would rather be in Run DEA. So as far as I am concerned, The Five is done. I will team with Stank to get rid of Drink and Destroy. That is my focus right now. That is all I am worried about right now. The rest of that shit? I am done with it.
<another long silence between the two of them, finally Ravenna breaks the quiet>
RB: Come on, let's get out of here.
MHJ: What?
RB: Just......come on..............Trust me.
<Ravenna gets up and heads to the door. Moose hesitates for a moment, then tosses some money on the bar>
MHJ: Fuck it
<Moose gets up and follows Ravenna out of the bar>
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:11:29 GMT -5
(tytan sitting in a corner of the same bar catches the two of them leaving.)
T: This doesn't look good. Shes a big girl but it is Moose and its a good time but there is always some trouble.
(Tytan remembers the short run he had with Moose.)
T: Maybe I should keep an eye on her. I'll leave when I know she is good.
(he gets up and leaves.)
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:12:03 GMT -5
A ninjacam fades to see Tytan leaving the bar. Chris Evans approaches him.
Tytan: Hey Evans, whats up?
E: I was just gonna get a drink. Why, whats up?
T: I was just following Ravenna.
E: Ravenna drinks?
T: Well, she's not Crete.
E: Yeah, thats true. Why are you following her though?
T: She left with Moose.
Evans stands dumbstruck for a moment.
E: What?
T: Yeah, thats's what I was just about to take care of.
E: I don't know what the hell she's thinking, getting involved with a Quinn.
T: She's still new here. She doesn't have the history that the two of us have with them. Not much with Moose, but definitely with Firewoman.
E: That shouldn't make a difference. She should know what they are capable of, especially someone like Moose.
T: Maybe she just likes the bad boys.
E: No, there is a HUGE difference between bad boys and, well...Moose. Bad boys usually have some kinda redeeming value. What the fuck does Moose have?
T: Respect?
E: Heh, alright I'll give you that one. So what did you have in mind?
T: I was gonna tail behind Ravenna, to check on her safety. I'm not getting involved past that, for her sake.
E: I know Moose well enough to know he's gonna have Stank close by. I'll give ya a hand.
T: Thanks. Great to know you've got my back.
E: Likewise. Lets head out.
*fade to black*
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:12:31 GMT -5
(Tytan and Evans get into Tytan's car outside of the bar. Tytan is driving of course. Tytan starts up the car and turns to radio to some good driving music.)
Evans: So now what?
Tytan: It's 106 miles to Medicine Hat, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
Evans: Hit it.
(Tytan throws the car in drive the music is going and they are off.)
Evans: Do you have any idea where they are going?
Tytan: Nope. I don't think she even decided where they were going when she started her promo.
Evans: So she's improving.
Tytan: I guess....don't see much of that these days on promos.
(Just then the guys here some rustling in the back seat.)
Evans: By the way where's Wrath?
(As if on cue. Wrath slowly sits up from the back seat. His hair is messed up and he is buttoning his shirt.)
Wrath: Damn man, I was getting ready to have a good night and you had to ruining it with your sudden urge for a road trip.
Evans: Ravenna left the bar with Moose.
Wrath: What is she thinking? I know she sees the good in everyone before she sees anything else but this is Moose. So what are we planning on doing?
Tytan: Keeping our distance. Just making sure she is going to be okay once we know that we are out of there.
(Evans keeps on looking in the back seat to see if there is anyone else back there with Wrath.)
Wrath: Well, then. (Looks down in the seat.) You might as well get dressed it looks like we might have to continue this a little bit later.
(Wrath hands a shirt to a half undressed Kayfabe.)
Evans: So that explains why we didn't get jumped for what we said earlier.
(Kayfabe smiles and then pulls out a couple of beers and hands one to Wrath. The two toast and sit back, Kayfabe offers a beer to Evans who takes it, Tytan still trying to stay focused declines.)
Wrath: Well this looks like this is going to be one hell of a night.
(He grabs Kayfabe and kisses her.)
Tytan: Only if we knew where we were going.
(Kayfabe smacks Tytan in the back of the head. Tytan turns and looks at her and she just shrugs.)
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:13:25 GMT -5
Fade in to Matt Folz's lockerroom. Hayden Panettiere standing next to him with a mic.
HP(Sarcastically): I'm Hayden Panettiere, standing here with Matt Folz, who's very graciously took time out of his busy schedule to promo today.
MF (Smiles): Something you want to say Hayden?
HP: I'm your personal interviewer, and you NEVER promo, I literally have nothing to do.
MF: You're right, I do apologize, I'm going to start promoing more.
HP: Promise?
MF: Promise.
HP (Smiles): Ok then. To start, you have an Intercontinental Championship match against the Dead on Wednesday, what are your thoughts?
MF: The Dead is a very,very good wrestler, this should be a great match. I'd like to warn him not to be distracted by Poe and concentrate on me. If anyone thinks I'm not focused just because I haven't promoed in a while, they've got another thing coming,
HP: You've made alot of jokes about Stan Ful....
MF: Jokes? No,those weren't jokes.
HP: Ok then.......you're not worried about being personally named in his lawsuit?
MF: Hahahahahahahahahaha. No, no I'm not, because this lawsuit is rediculous. All anyone in the lockerroom has done is point out the obvious. A few weeks ago Chad Madison made reference to me being a Packer fan, Something, much like Fulton being fat, that is clearly obvious and true so clearly I'm entitled to sole ownership of the OOWF and every title simultaneously right?? Give me a break. Also, have I missed something? How exactly has he been discriminated against? Didn't he have a WORLD TITLE SHOT last month? Hey tubby, you're offended by fat comments? Then you know what you do, you put down the 37th helping of ribs, mix in a salad every once in a while and get your fat ass to a gym. Or don't, I could honestly care less. Either way quit your bitching.
HP: Wow, anything else?
MF: I'd comment on how Eco's now just become nothing but a cult leader, but he's far too delusional to realize it, so I'll just save my breath. So I'll end on this: Eric O'Mac, that was a hell of a match we had last week, and I'm sure neither of us was happy it ended in a draw. Anytime you want a rematch, you let me know.
HP: Thank you for your time.
The camera about to fade when Folz's cell phone goes off. We only hear his side of the conversation.
Hello?
Why the fuck are YOU calling me?
(Laughing) You can't afford me.
(Stops laughing) How much?
I'm afraid I'll have to decline, for that type of price it almost has to be Darling. Not that I'd mind, but I'm already on retainer to him, dosen't set a good business precedent you know.
Oh? Who then?
You're serious.
(Contemplating) 5 times my usual fee, of course I'll take the job. Just not til after my match Wednesday.
Because I said so asshole. Look, BEST case scenario after this is I get my ass kicked severely, more likely is I end up in the hospital for a month in retaliation. I'm not afraid of that, hell, I'd deserve it if I do everything you want done to him, but I'm just warning you, going to be repurcussions for us both. You sure you want to hire me?
(Sighing) Fine, I'll text you the account number. (hanging up)
HP: You're about to do something very stupid aren't you.
MF: Deeply, DEEPLY stupid, yes.
Fade
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:14:06 GMT -5
(The three members of Valor and Kayfabe are driving down the Highway tailing Ravenna who is with Moose. They are driving down a straight Highway.)
Wrath: Not bad big Man good to see you know how to drive. I like this car also.
Evans: ... this car has a lot of pickup ...
(The car is picking up speed as they continue to keep Ravenna in view.)
Tytan:.. its got a cop moter of 440 cubic inch plan, its got cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks ... the model made before catalytic converters so it will run good on regular gas ... what do you say, is it the new Valor Mobile or what?
Wrath: fix the cigarette lighter.
Evans: Do you think we really need a Valor Mobile.
Tytan: Well....
Evans: Really?
(Kayfabe hits Tytan in the back of the head again and then chugs another beer. Tytan turns and misses the turn that Ravenna and Moose take.)
Tytan: Damn now we lost them.
Evans: Just take the next exit and turn around we can catch them in this car.
Tytan: Our Lady Of Blessed Acceleration don't fail me now.
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:14:57 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is DRIVING~! his 1995 Toyota Camry to an AS YET UNDISCLOSED LOCATION! Olympic Gold Medalist, Dancing with the Stars Champion and America's Sweetheart Shawn Johnson is in the passenger's seat*
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Remember the last time we took a car ride together?
DM: Yup. We were in the Greater DC area somewhere, and I gave you your Run DEA jacket.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: I thought you were gonna kill me.
DM: Why would I do that?
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Cause you're a psycho who has no problems RGDC-ing a midget like myself.
DM: You're not a midget. You're just small boned.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
DM: Dear God...why did I bring you?
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: You need to do an interview and Moonbeam is busy smoking and rewinding that shower scene. Stupid ass bull d-
DM: Shawn, America's Sweetheart.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Do you understand how hard it is?
DM: You've come a long way.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Anyway, where have you been?
DM: Duh. Hurricane Earl.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: But...we're in Canada?
DM: Hurricane Earl hit Canada.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Yeah, Nova Scotia. We're in British Columbia.
DM: Since when are you a Geography Master?
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: There's a lot you don't know about me.
CM: *from somewhere* GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT! *he leaves*
DM: Weird.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Anyway, you missed a lot. A HLA shower catfight, some other people getting beat down...Fulton filed a lawsuit for discrimination...
DM: Wait, what?
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: A lawsuit for..
DM: For what?
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Dunno. Cause everyone calls him fat?
DM: He IS fat.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: I guess it doesn't matter if he actually is fat.
DM: He's 5'10" and 461 lbs. That's like...past Weeble stage. His waist size is bigger than his actual height. You can't be sued for telling an obvious truth.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: He called you out, too. Said something about a cage match.
DM: Oh please. Stan Fatty Fulton isn't in my stratosphere, never mind my league. If GM the Weak books the match, then fine, whatever. Otherwise, I'm not going to concern myself with the Walking Clogged Artery. Davin Moreland has better things to do...like defend his OOWF World Tag Team Championships. Got that Chunks-a-lot? Main Eventers wrestle other Main Eventers, not Sideshow Comedy Acts.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Like Hornswoggle?
DM: No, Hornswoggle at least demonstrates some charisma and was entertaining that one time. We're still waiting on Fatty McLardass to demonstrate that.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: It seems to have brought up some tension in E-DEVILERS or whatever it is.
DM: They'd just better not fuck with my Aunt in the process.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Speaking of, Moose and Fire have had some issues lately...
DM: You think there, sunshine?
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: DON'T BE MEAN
DM: Sorry. Yes. There's tension. As usual, Moose is demonstrating his one-track mind and it's affecting the rest of his judgment as a result. I'd love to put some blame on Fire or Alex here, but other than getting married they really haven't done anything wrong. I just think Moose pushed the wrong button. But it's not the end of the world.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: It is for The Five.
DM: The Five is, and always has been, retarded. I respect the hell out of 4 of those 5, but once the board of directors realized the stable wasn't sustainable, and the booking committee changed a few things, it was only a matter of time.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: You know, it looks an awful lot like Run DEA is about to get the band back together.
DM: Except, this time, as a face stable.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Are you saying that the rumors are true?
DM: I'm not going to confirm nor deny anything at this point. All I know is, there's been some chatter in the back that some people are bored going it alone. As to whether that means Run DEA or something else, whatever it might be, it's too soon to speculate.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Is a Run DEA reunion something you'd be interested in?
DM: You know my feelings about Run DEA. Yeah, we were assholes, but we had a good damn time. And there were fans out there that loved every second of it. I've never wished anything but success for everyone involved with Run DEA after everything shook out.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: You and Alexis came out to Run DEA music last week.
DM: We did.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: And wore your DEA Hockey Sweaters.
DM: That's true.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Should we read anything into that?
DM: Oh hell. Sure, why not, Shawn? Read something into it. It'll give you and all your fans something to talk about.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Well, let's say you DO get back together. Would you be feuding with E-DEVILS?
DM: No, we would only be feuding with worthy opponents and Main Eventers. Freaks, Fatties and Flesh-eaters don't really rate with the kind of star quality Run DEA has.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: You've got a point.
DM: Damn right I've got a point.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Where are we going anyway? And why did you bring this handle bottle of Captain Morgan's? You hate rum.
DM: A) I don't "hate" it, it's just not a favorite of mine, and B) it's not for me.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Who is it for?
DM: You'll see in a little bit.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: You're the worst interview ever.
DM: I am not. You are.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: HEY!
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:15:56 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams is walking down a hallway, talking on his cell phone..**
LDW: “I don’t know Ma, I haven’t talked to her yet…I wouldn’t put it past them to hire her and fire her the next day…Don’t worry Ma - if it’s a work, she’s better off without NXT. If it’s not…we’ll do what we always do…Gotta go Ma - I’ve got something to deal with.”
**Williams stops in front of the E-DEVILERS locker room. He takes a deep breath and knocks. After a moment, Eco opens the door.**
LDW: “We need to talk.”
Eco: “Let’s take a walk.”
**Tyler Vangarde gets up to accompany them, but Eco waves him off..**
Tyler: “This is a bad idea, Eco.”
Eco: “I’ll be fine, Tyler. Mr. Williams is a man of honour. If he says he wants to talk, that’s what he means.”
**Cut to Williams and Eco in a hallway in another part of the arena, in mid-conversation.**
LDW: “I finally get it now. The whole time I’ve been here, I’ve done just about all there is to do, but I’ve never really accomplished anything. I start stuff, but never finish it. I tell Stan I’m going to end him, I tell Sparxx I’m going to attack him every time he annoys me…and I don’t follow up. Things just fade away, and I go back to being scenery. I’ve been here for every thing that’s happened in the OOWF, Juni, but I haven’t been a real part of any of it, you know?”
Eco: “I understand.”
LDW: “It has to change, Juni. I have to change. I have to stop be afraid. There’s only one way to do that - one answer for me…you.”
Eco: “I’m glad you’ve finally come to your senses, L.D. Welcome home.”
**Ecosystem extends his hand, and Williams shakes it. He pulls Eco in for an embrace - and knees him in the stomach. He runs Eco face-first into a nearby window, and then shoves him back and KILLS him with a Canadian Destroyer. He sits beside Eco on the floor, and holds his hand in front of his face, staring at it.**
LDW: “You are the answer Eco. Look at my hand - see how three fingers raise automatically? That’s the symbol of the Unholy Trio - but it doesn’t exist anymore. BECAUSE OF YOU! I spent years building up to The Five - my crowning glory - and its dead. BECAUSE OF YOU! Everything I’ve worked for in this business. Everything I gave my blood, sweat and tears for. Gone. BECAUSE OF YOU!
**With each shout, Williams slaps Eco across the face. He drags him off the floor and nails a DDT. He sits Eco against the wall and squats down in front of him, looking into his eyes.**
LDW: “You spray painted me. You took away my allies. You took away my purpose. That can’t be undone. We can’t bring back what’s been lost. But we can make something new. Together. A new legacy for L.D. Williams. You, Fulton, Vangarde, Infieri, Larson, Dead, Eric, and anyone else who joins you. No more honour. No more fear. No more unfinished business. This time, I follow through.”
**The sound of running footsteps can be heard - apparently the E-DEVILERS watch OOWF TV.**
LDW: “A question to ponder, Juni - what, or should I say who, does the devil fear?…Let’s find out, you and I.”
**Williams gets up and walks away, disappearing around a corner just as the rest of the E-DEVILERS come into sight.**
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:16:32 GMT -5
<Moose and Ravenna are riding down the road, not much is being said between them. Moose checks the rearview mirror again>
MHJ: Someone is following us
RB: <looking herself now> What? Who?
MHJ: Dunno, doesn't matter though
RB: So........I have to ask you something
MHJ: Ok
RB: I have a match against Fire this week
MHJ: I believe you mentioned that
RB: Well, its just, I tried to get the point across to Fire that I really do respect her. She has done things no other female wrestler has done, but she.....
MHJ: She ignored you
RB: Yeah
MHJ: She does that
RB: But WHY? Its SO damn infuriating!
MHJ: That right there
RB: What?
MHJ: She heard you. And deep inside, she appreciates it, I know she does. But she will never give you the satisfaction of hearing that from her. Mostly because she knows it will annoy you
RB: That ain't right
MHJ: That's how Fire works
RB: So. If I do win the match, I suppose I am going to get my ass kicked by the Five afterward?
MHJ: Probably not. LD has issues with DEVILS and Eco, and rightfully so. Poe is doing whatever it is Poe does, and I am teaming with Stank. You beat Fire one on one, good on you. Now, if Valor gets involved......
RB: No......they won't. I came here to test myself against the best and right now, Fire is the best. They are not to be anywhere NEAR the ring.
MHJ: Or else?
RB: Or else what?
MHJ: A threat without a follow through is an empty threat
RB: So......I should threaten to kill them with Happy Deth Bat or something?
MHJ: Let them know where you stand, in no uncertain terms.
RB: But wouldn't that risk alienating them?
MHJ: If it does, so what?
RB: They are my friends
MHJ: Friends can be a four letter word in this business. I have very few friends, and those that I count as friends have earned that. The more friends you have, the more you are going to be disappointed. Ambition is a bitch, what is a friend today, will be an enemy tomorrow.
RB: The same can be said for siblings, can't it
<Moose just looks at Ravenna>
MHJ: I wouldn't say it is going down that road
RB: Really?
MHJ: I really don't think either of us wants that
RB: What if she decides to stay married to Darling?
MHJ: <bristling at this, but calming down pretty fast> Fire is a big girl. She knows the consequences of her actions. I am done yelling, I am done threatening. She knows that Alex and I can not co-exist. She knows that there is no way Darling and I can ever get along, I will never forgive him, and honestly, I hate that little shit. So, if she decides she wants to stay with him, then she knows the consequences.
RB: That seems a little harsh
MHJ: Life is sometimes harsh. Look, whoever this is that is following us is starting to piss me off. Pull over.
RB: What?
MHJ: Pull over. I am going to drive
RB: Is that really a good idea?
MHJ: I know this area
RB: Why the hell would you know Medicine Hat?
MHJ: Do you REALLY want me to answer that?
RB: <thinking for a second> No, ok fine.
<Rav pulls over and her and Moose trade spots. The car tailing them slows down, but has to pass them. Moose watches them go by, then smirks. He hops in the car and guns it, doing a u-turn and speeding down the highway>
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:17:55 GMT -5
(Tytan, Wrath, Evans, and Kayfabe are now stuck in traffic which is actually a mall parking lot.)
Tytan: We'll be all right if we can just get back on the expressway.
Evans: This don't look like no expressway to me!
Tytan: Don't yell at me.
Evans: Well whadda you want me to do, Motorhead?
Tytan: Try not to be so negative all the time. Why don't you offer a little... constructive criticism?
Evans: You got us into to this parking lot, pal. Now you get us out!
Tytan: You want outta this parking lot?... O.K.
Wrath: Moose knows we are following them.
Tytan: How do you know that?
Wrath: Did you see the smile on his face when we drove past.
Evans: So now Ravenna is in trouble.
Tytan: Or we are.
(Tytan gets slapped in the back of the head again from Kayfabe.)
Tytan: Will you stop doing that!
(Kayfabe sticks her tongue out at Tytan.)
Wrath: I don't know man. She gets like this whenever she gets drunk.
Tytan: Well get her under control. We haven't cut a decent promo regarding out match at Mayhem.
Wrath: Well maybe we will have to just take care of that after we get out of this damn parking lot.
Evans: Why is the one so confusing?
Tytan: Damn Canadians!
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:24:09 GMT -5
*OOWF Destroyitorium*
Alexis Darling is sitting at the bar drinking a martini and talking to Spencer and Ashley. They seem to be laughing about something when Alexis nods and Spencer hands a microphone to Ashley.
Ashley: Hello OOWF, I'm Ashley Davies and I'm sitting here enjoying a drink with 1/2 of the OOWF World Tag Team Champions, Alexis Darling. Now, I don't want to bring this up, but you asked and well, the word in the back is that you're being carried by your partner and that the only reason you hold a belt is because of him.
Alexis: I wonder who's saying that...Davin or Moreland, or whatever. Here's the facts Ashley and my partner better damn well listen to me. NO ONE and I mean NO ONE ever carries a Darling to anything. You can think you're doing the heavy lifting or that you're the driving force behind this team but the fact is I am a damn good wrestler. Just because I've decided to take a step back and not run my mouth at every opportunity does not change the person that I am.
Ashley: Now, Alexis...don't get me wrong, but this is seemingly coming out of nowhere and there are rumors that Run DEA is in the midst of a possible reformation. People may assume that this interview here itself is just a red herring to throw people off the track and that Hell on Earth is just around the corner and the last two years have seen the formation of two of the biggest stables in OOWF history.
Alexis: People are going to talk Ashley. It seems to be what people love to do around here. Myself included, but this isn't talk. This is me. I'm tired of people assuming that I can't carry myself in the ring. I've competed against some of the very best in this company and I've never been overwhelmed. I can hold my own against anyone and that includes both my partner and my brother. So, from now on...if people want me to talk, I'll talk. We all know I can. But I'll do most of my talking in that ring and Davin Moreland will just have to realize that we are equals in this.
Ashley: What about your opponents this week. You're facing Ecosystem & Tyler Vanguarde of E-DEVILS. Ecosystem has been a thorn in the side of the OOWF for a while, but it was just a year ago when he was trying to save you and your brother from Poe. Do you feel as if you owe him anything?
Alexis: The history between Ecosystem and I is complicated, but the fact is he was on this dark path long before he decided to "save" the Darlings. He was just better at hiding it back then. People always thought we were ungrateful to Ecosystem for not thanking him for what happened a year ago, but people forget that it was Ecosystem who went overboard in his quest for revenge and he's never shown any remorse for his actions. No one has ever claimed like he has to be above the pitfalls of this business. But it's time for Ecosystem to finally look across the ring and realize that saving someone has a price. Alexis Darling isn't sitting back anymore. Alexis Darling is coming for you Eco and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. And what happens to you, let that be a sign for EVERYONE who decides to take me lightly. I am a Darling and it not be in your best interests to ever forget what that means.
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:24:49 GMT -5
There's a bustle of activity at the press conference area. The Magical OOWF Banner is in place behind a micstand. An actual micstand, not one of those vacant SFJs. Firewoman and Alexander Darling are standing outside the room.
AD: You don't have to do this.
FW: Yeah...I do....you don't wanna be here, then just go.
AD: God, you're annoying when you're independent. You're...you're not wearing it.
FW: What?
AD: Bandanna...
FW: Oh...yeah, I lost it against DEVIL. Lucky's getting another one.
*Alexander gently arranges Fire's hair so it mostly covers her scar, but his eyes drop as he does.... You know, there are specialists....plastic surgeons....I'll pay, no matter what it costs....
FW: Jericho already looked into it. They're too deep...look, can we talk about this later?
AD: Is that your new catch phrase?
FW: GO!
They enter the room and Fire goes to the front. Alexander moves to the back of the room. Firewoman goes up to the microphone, sighs, adjusts the World Championship Belt around her waist (where it BELONGS) and begins.
FW: Okay...everyone...shut the fuck up.
The "reporters" stop in their tracks and take their seats.
FW: Good. Now....it's been a rough couple of days...but I feel I need to address a few things.
There's been a lot of upheaval in the Five locker room. That's to be expected. We are five people, passionate about our work.
We're not always going to see eye to eye. But what matters, is that we are still the best in the company...in the WORLD...at what we do. And that no matter what is happening personally, we are a team, and the Five comes first.
So, when I saw that DEVIL had invaded our locker room, The Chamber... it didn't matter that Poe and I were at odds. It didn't matter that my own brother had told me to leave. I acted. I grabbed LD and Stank, and we sent a message to DEVIL that regardless of any other situation, no individual or faction is going to come into our locker room, invade our personal space, and lay a hand on any of our members.
And what did I get for my efforts? What did I get for coming to the aid of my allies. My brother...my OWN brother. The one I idolized when I was a child...the one that I always hoped would come rescue me from my life in the streets...the one who was my unwavering partner in whatever crazy idea I had....That very brother disowned me.
There's a murmur through the crowd.
Oh yeah...he'll say that's not what he meant. I'm not sure what else "Have a great fucking life" could mean, but whatever.
Moose...you and I need to have a conversation. But we'll handle that later.
My other "partner," Poe, thinks after this latest skirmish that I'm finally "getting it." Really. After how many other fights in and out of the ring on behalf of the Five? After how many of my own injuries I've taken as a result of those? Now he thinks I'm getting it...
You know what I'm getting? I'm getting that Poe doesn't have a belt...Moose doesn't have a belt...LD and Stank, who have been the best partners in this all...they don't have a belt....no, you know who in this little faction has a belt?
Me.
And not just any belt. I have THE belt. The World Championship in this company. It's mine.
So it occurs to me...I don't really need the Five...not nearly as much as they need me.
So...Poe...you continue to dismiss my contributions while you buy your wife some new Barbie dolls, or whatever. And continue to threaten my brother, too, because despite our recent difficulties, he is STILL my brother...That will just add fuel to the fire *batistalaughs* for when I get you in the ring. Which I will...because Rick usually listens to the World Champ, right? So, Namaste, motherfucker.
Firewoman laughs, and it's sounds eerily similar to Moose's.
LD and Stank, you've stayed out of most of this...even if you hadn't I would still have your backs, just like I had Poe and Moose's yesterday.
Now...it's time to get back to what I do best. And that is, being the best damn wrestler, male or female, in this company, and in the world. When I first got here, three years ago, that was my goal, and here I am. And here I'll stay, defending this belt with my blood and sweat, and destroying anyone who comes to take it.
And sweet, little, innocent Ravenna is first up...Thanks for the shower babe. You know, some called that a Diva fight, but I always say you fight the opponent you have, not the one you trained for. So if I busted out some hair pulling and bitchslapping, well...why go with my A-material when it's not needed. So get in the ring Wednesday, Ravenna...And I'll kick your bitchy little ass for real. And that will sparkle with me.
The reporters clamor for questions, and Fire tries to leave, but she stays when one question rises above the others, causing her to pause.
Rep: Fire! What about the offer from Vince? You heading to Connecticut?
FW: *smiles* I would be a fool to not think about it. I'm still taking it under consideration. But first, I need to run through kicking the shit out of the rest of the roster.
Try and fucking stop me.
Alexander Darling smiles at the last line, as Fire knocks the micstand over with a slap, and stalks to the back of the room. He puts a hand on her lower back and follows her out the door.
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:26:04 GMT -5
**Author's Note: The following is one of those promos where I steal from another source and I never give proper credit or citation. Kind of like a Moose finals paper. With that being said, one of the character's featured in this spoof is not a character that I created, nor have I asked permission to use said character. If the creator/owner of this character sees this and has a problem with it, I will gladly take him out and replace the character with a character that I have created. And also, keep in mind that this is the OOWF. What happens to said character in this spoof does not mean that this prevents him from being used in the future, if a return is wanted. Enjoy.**
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January 2nd, 2009
*Fade in. Show a young man, mid 20's, sitting at a dark table, with the only light coming from a nearby candle. He is scribbling furiously at a paper, and it appears he is writing a letter. We hear a voice over from Eric O'Mac reading the letter while the young man writes.*
"Dear E,
I wrote you, but you still haven't called me. I left my cell, IM, and my home number at the bottom. I left you two messages back in October, you must not have got 'em. Probably was a fuck up at the phone company or something. Sometimes, I mumble when I talk on the phone, but anyways, fuck it, what's been up man? How are things since I've been gone?
I saw you won the World Title, man's that's awesome. If I win a World Title, you know what I'm going to do? I'mma call and tell you.
I read about your former tag team partner, I'm sorry. I had a friend kill himself too, over getting raped by Beast when he didn't want it.
Anyways, I know you hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan. I even own DVDs of your early career when you wrestled for your Dad.
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man, I even like the shit you did with Bennett, that shit was bad!
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, whatcha say, this is your biggest fan,
Tyson Kincaid."
*We see a video of Kincaid running down the steps of an apartment to run in the pouring rain to deliver the letter to the mail box. He then grabs a lawn chair and waits outside, in the pouring rain...
September 30th, 2009
...We fade back in to Kincaid, writing furiously by candle light again as it pours and rains outside. We hear Eric O'Mac voice reading the letter.*
"Dear E,
It's been nine months and still no word, I hope you've had a chance, I'm not really mad. I just think it's fucked up you don't talk to your fans and friends. If you didn't want to talk to me outside after the show, you didn't have to, but you at least could have signed an autograph, come on bro. We've been friends for a long time, and I waited in the cold Colorado snow, for 4 hours, and you just said no.
That's pretty shitty man, you're like my fucking idol. I want to be just like you man, there isn't anyone who likes you more than I do?
Anyways, I'm not mad, I just don't like being lied to. Remember when we went to that island in the Bahamas? You said that if I write you, that you would write back. See, I'm like you in a ways, I didn't grow up with a father either. My father was too busy fucking drunk whores, any one who would beat him.
I can relate to what you're saying in your matches, so when I have a shitty day, I can watch them by the batch, see I don't really have anything else, os that shit helps when I'm depressed. I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest.
And sometimes when I wrestle, I blade for the hell of it, it's like adrenaline, the pain takes issues and tries to settle it. See, everything you do is real. And I respect you because you bring it, and everyone else in my life is jealous because I talk about you and I mean it. But they don't know you like I know you, E, no one does. They don't know what it's like for people like us growing up.
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose.
Sincerely Tyson Kincaid
PS: We should be together too."
*Again, We see Kincaid run down to the mail box and deliver the letter to the outside mailbox....and it's still storming.*
AUGUST 28th, 2010
*We fade in on yet another dark and dreary night, where we see Tyson Kincaid driving in a car like a maniac. He is seen talking in a voice recorder and we hear his voice as he drives.*
"DEAR MR. E WHO'S TOO GOOD TO CALL OR WRITE HIS FANS,
THIS WILL BE THE LAST PACKAGE THAT I EVER SEND YOUR ASS!
It's been ONE YEAR and still no word, I DON'T DESERVE IT? I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on them PERFECT! So this is a cassette I'm sending you, I hope you get it. I'm in my car right now. I'm doing 90 on the freeway.
Hey Eric...I drank a fifth of vodka, do you dare me to drive? You know that song by Phil Collins "From the air in the night" about that guy who could have saved that one guy from drowning and he didn't, and Phil saw it all and at that one show he found him? Well that's how this is. You could have rescued me from drowning, but now it's too late. I'm on a thousand downers now, and I'm drowsy.
And all I wanted was one lousy letter or a call. I hope you know that I ripped all of your posters off of my wall. I love you Eric, we could have been together. Think about it, you've ruined it now. I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it. And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it. I hope your conscious eats at you and you can't BREATHE WITHOUT ME.
You see, Eric *loud scream in the background* SHUT UP BITCH, I'M TRYING TO TALK! Hey Eric, that's the former governor of Alaska in the trunk, and I was hoping you'd respect me a little more since I got her using handcuffs, the same way DEA got your attention even if it was a little rough.
Anyways, I gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now.
Oh shit, I forgot...how am I suppose to send this tape out?
*We see a car go over a bridge in the stormy weather....*
SEPTEMBER 6th, 2010
*The sun is shining in Alberta, Canada, as Eric O'Mac is seen writing a letter in his personal locker room.*
"Dear Tyson,
I meant to get back up with you sooner, but I've just been busy. You said you've been wrestling again, send me some tapes, I'll make sure I see. Look, I'm really flattered you would call me if you won a title, and here's an autograph for you too, just don't get so excited.
I'm sorry I didn't you see at the show, I must have missed you. I don't think I did that stuff intentionally just to diss you, but what's this shit about you blading on purpose in the ring too? That shit's dangerous son, how fucked up are you? You've got some issues Tyson, I think you need some counseling to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some. And what's this shit about us meant to be together? That kind of shit makes me not want to see each other. I really think you should write a guy named JP Sparxx, he needs a fan. I'm wrestling him this week at Mayhem, you should check out this man. He rhymes a lot, and you can't understand a word that he says, and he thinks he's all that, but people have been avoiding him for days.
He could really use a friend, someone to look up to him, the same way my stable mate Stan Fulton would enjoy it if we called him "Slim." I know you keep up with the OOWF, so this isn't nothing new, but did you know if people called you gay now, that you could probably sue? My current teammate Eco, he could probably help you out, and that way you won't be so creepy...what's that all about? Anyways, I hope you deal with all your issues, and if you plan on moving to Connecticut, please vote for my step mom if you do. I know she's a Republican and you hate all that's conservative, but I don't want you to do some crazy shit, just to get off my case and go out and live.
Anyways, I've got to prepare for Darling and Sparxx. Triple threat match this week. The kind to satisfy the marks. I just want to kind of be left alone, there are other wrestlers in the world who would gladly pick up the phone if you would just call them. Moose, Fire, Poe and Stank, I'm sure if you talk to them, you won't feel like you're on crank. I just don't want you to end up like this story I just heard on the news, it looks like a mad man who had been raped and abused, suddenly decided to get drunk and drive over a bridge, and that Republican woman was in his trunk, even though no one cared, even a smidge. And in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was too...
Come to think of it...no way....it was you.
Damn."
*Eric O'Mac looks up from the letter he was writing...and balls up the paper and shoots it basketball style into the nearest trash can. He doesn't seem that upset. He gets up from the couch and looks to the camera.*
Eric: JP Sparxx, Alexander Darling, it's clear that I have many people worldwide that believe in Eric O'Mac. It's time for you to say "I BELIEVE IN ERIC O'MAC..." or your 15 minutes of fame will soon be up.
*Fade out.*
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:28:38 GMT -5
*Davin and Shawn Johnson are still driving around in the Camry. Shawn is on her Sprint PCS phone*
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Wait...she said WHAT? Are you sure? All right...thanks Moony...no...no...it's none of your business what I shave you d-
DM: Shawn.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: *growls* Goodbye, Moony. *she clicks the phone shut* Can't I say it if she actually is one?
DM: Not until after London.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: So stupid.
DM: Besides, you like it.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: I DO NOT!
DM: Yeah. Sure. So what was it?
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Firewoman.
DM: And she said...
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: "Try to fucking stop me"
DM: *batistalaugh* That's classic.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: This Run DEA reunion is really going to happen, isn't it?
DM: I don't know that.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: How can you, of all people, not know?
DM: I just don't, ok?
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Well, I think it's going to happen. Too many weird coincidences.
DM: Well, let me put it to you this way. SOMETHING is going to happen, whether it's Run DEA or something else. And I wouldn't rule out either one.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: I hate when you know shit and don't tell me.
DM: Language.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Jesus Christ on a Cracker I can't do ANYTHING. Stupid America's Sweetheart.
DM: As far as America knows, you're very good at it.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: It's NOT EASY!
DM: Having an Olympic Boyfriend helps.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Ok, you just obliterated Kayfabe with that one. Are we fucking there yet?
DM: Language.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: GOD YOU SOUND JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER!
DM: Funny how that works.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Can I have some of this? *she points to the paper bag on the floor*
DM: NinjaCam Guy? You got everything?
*The camera shakes up and down*
DM: Count to 10, Shawny, and then you can.
OGMDwtSCaASSJ: Thank Christ...at least I'll get something out of this trip.
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:29:16 GMT -5
*OBJ, DDT, and DVD are in the Destroyitarium. OBJ, not surprisingly, drains a beer and belches. DDT raises his eyebrows.*
OBJ: Just thinking, mate. Stank had so many big plans when he joined The Five. Now, all he seems to care about is getting rid of us. Meanwhile, LD is starting to think about how he doesn't finish what he started.
*DDT shrugs*
DVD: I'm still surprised about how Stank went after Wally.
OBJ (switches into Back of Beyond Jack): I'm not. He tends to take the path of least resistance. It'll be his downfall. (switches back to OBJ)
DVD: Oh, speaking of Wally, I forgot to tell you he arranged for an acupuncturist, a physical therapist, a masseuse, a homeopath, an osteopath, an herbalist, and a reiki practitioner to fly in. They're setting up in the back.
OBJ: Right, I'd better get back there.
DVD: Anything else we can do for you?
OBJ:Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 26, 2011 15:29:52 GMT -5
*OOWF Arena*
Alexander Darling is walking the hallways and is clearly looking for something or someone. He passes a stagehand who's getting some of the backstage props ready for a possible attack. He's got a crate of clangy poles, some pointless wooden crates, and some bamboo rods.
Alexander: Hey, have you seen Shawn Johnson anywhere? It's Monday and I need to promo for my match.
The stagehand just shakes his hand and goes back to setting up the backstage area. Alexander continues walking and he gets back to his locker room. He knocks once before entering slowly and he sees Firewoman and Lucky sitting on the couch and it seems like they're discussing something. They turn their head to see who came in and Firewoman stands.
Firewoman: Hey, whats going on Alex?
Alexander: Not much, have either of you seen Shawn. I wanted to do an interview, but I can't find her anywhere.
Both shake their heads,
Firewoman: Nope, haven't seen her anywhere. Do you want some help or something...
Alexander looks at Fire like she's losing her mind...
Alexander: You want to help me look for Shawn??? You don't even like Shawn.
Firewoman: I mean, its just if you need...it's not that I hate...just, do you want any help?
Alexander: Thanks Fire...but it looks like you two are in the middle of something and she's probably just hanging out with Spencer or Moonbeam or something. I'll find her. But if you need anything, just give me a call.
Firewoman nods and sits back down and starts going over something with Lucky once again as Alexander walks out of the room and heads down another hallway. He makes his way to the Destroyatorium and enters through the large double doors. He sees Spencer, Alexis, and Ashley sitting at the bar and makes his way over to them. He nods quickly to DDT and OBJ before taking a seat next to his twin sister. He taps her on the shoulder and she spins quickly on the stool and it's clear Alexis has been drinking a while. Alex turns towards Spencer...
Alexander: What's her deal?
Alexis: I'm sitting right here and you can ask your questions to me mister Alexander Darling. I'm tired of you and Davin and everyone overlooking me. So you better damn well ask your questions...
Spencer pulls Alex down towards the far end of the bar while Ashley tries to calm Alexis down.
Spencer: She came in here earlier and just started going off on you and Davin and basically everyone else in the back. Someone must have said something to her and she took it really hard. I don't know who though, she isn't talking about it, but if Davin sees what she said earlier, he's not going to be happy.
Alexander: Fuck, that could ruin everything. I'll have to find him, but first I need to find Shawn. Has she been around?
Spencer: Last I saw her, she was going to see Moonbeam and Davin and was gonna chill with them.
Alexander: "Chill" right. Thanks Spence. And get her sobered up before something happens to her.
Spencer: Been trying, her last three drinks were just tonic water, but she hasn't realized it yet. But once she slows down, I'll get Danny to take her back to your hotel.
Alexander kisses his younger sister on the forehead before waving good bye to Ashley and nodding once again to DDT and OBJ. He leaves the Destroyatorium and makes his way to Davin's locker room. He knocks a few times before hearing someone say to come in. Alexander walks in and sees Samantha doing her nails while Moonbeam is munching on some Doritos.
Alexander: Hey sis, have you seen Shawn? Spencer said...
Moonbeam: That little goody two shoes cutie went somewhere with someone. Fuck...I can't remember, but there was something strange going on. She was asking lots of questions or something. And there was something else...damn it.
Alexander: Come on, what else do you...
Samantha: Give her a minute Alex. It'll come to her.
Alexander waits. And waits. And waits. And finally it looks like something comes to Moonbeam.[/i]
Moonbeam: Captain Morgan. Whoever she left with had Captain Morgan.
Alexander looks scared for a moment.
Alexander: Are you sure it was Captain Morgan?
Moonbeam: Positive dude. Big dude, rum, left the arena in a shitty car.
Alexander: God damn it. He's gone too far this time.
Alexander pulls out his phone and quickly dials a number.
Hello, this is Alexander Darling and I'd like to file a missing persons report. I'm not sure how long exactly, but she's with someone who has bad intentions. Look, get off your Royal Canadian Mountie ass and go find her. She's an American hero. A gold medalist. My last name is Darling...that still has some meaning up here, doesn't it? Good. Now go do your damn job and find her. And when you find the person who took her, tase his fucking ass til he pisses blood.
Alexander slams the phone shut and takes a deep breath as we...
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