Post by BookerShark on Feb 26, 2011 15:07:50 GMT -5
OOWF Awards Show 2010
<We are back in the Dayton Civic Center Annex for the 2010 OOWF Awards Ceremony. The camera pans around and we see all the OOWF stars sitting in attendance, once again dressed to the nines. The music stops playing and once again GM the Rick makes his way to the stage, and once again gets a nice round of applause from the crowd.>
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the 2009/2010 OOWF Awards! We are coming to you live from the Dayton Convention Center Annex! Tonight is the night we have all been waiting for, the crowning of this year’s award winners. And now, to kick things off this evening, Father Lou will lead us in the OOWF prayer:
Our Hardcore who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy blades
Thy bed of nails, thy wounds be done with chairs or with barbed and razored wire.....
Give us this day our daily bled
and forgive us our shattered glasses
as we forgive those who use broken glass against us
And lead us not into garbage, but deliver us from mediocrity.....
Voice: Now, ladies and gentlemen please welcome out emcee for the night, the man who knows what’s best for you whether you like it or not………GM the Rick
GMtR: Ladies and Gentlemen we are gathered here tonight for the Sixth Annual OOWF Awards show!
<the crowd cheers>
GMtR: As you know, this is a celebration of the best of the OOWF in the last year, as voted on by you, the stars of the OOWF. Last night we inducted two more members into the OOWF Hall of Fame. That was their night, tonight, is your night to shine.
<more applause>
GMtR: Let’s kick things off on the right foot, and hopefully, we can get through the night without blood or destruction to the building. One of these years I would really like to get our security deposit back. Here to present the award for NPC – Non-Player Character of the year, ladies and gentlemen, Bobby “the Brain” Heenan!
<Heenan comes out and gets a HUGE ovation from the crowd. You can tell he is not in perfect health, but he makes his way to the podium and seems to genuinely appreciate the cheers of the crowd>
B”TB”H: All you ham and eggers need to sit down! <cheers> While I WAS a wrestler, I will admit I was not a very good one. My job was to make others look good. My job was to be a mouth piece for those who couldn’t speak. Seems kind of ironic that throat cancer is trying to take my voice away, but it’s not going to, if Hulk Hogan couldn’t shut me up, cancer sure as hell won’t.
<this gets cheers and a standing ovation from the crowd>
B”TB”H: Let’s take a look at the nominees for Non-Player Character of the Year:
Voice: The nominees for Non-Player Character of the Year are: Selena and Lucky
B”TB”H: And the winner of NPC of the Year is……….Selena!
<The camera pans to Selena, who looks as excited as can be. She jumps out of her seat and hugs Poe then makes her way to the podium. On the way, she passes Moose, and Moose nods at her and smiles. Selena finally makes her way to the podium. She takes the award from Heenan and gives him a big hug. She is giggling like a school girl, but manages to compose herself and speaks.>
S: Omigosh. This really is an honor. When I won this last year, I was just a kid and I really didn’t know what it meant. A lot has happened to me in the last year, and now, I understand that all of you <looking around> ALL of you think I belong here. The little girl that won the award last year is gone. This year, I am all grown up. And I can’t wait to watch my dear Poe beat the crap out of Firewoman and bring his title back to me. <Selena reverts back to being a little girl for just a second and sticks her tongue out at Fire. Fire has to be restrained from getting up and coming after her.> Thank you all.
<Selena leaves the stage and heads back to the table just beaming. She makes a wide circle around Fire’s table though. When she gets back, she hugs Poe again and sits down staring at her award.>
GMtR: They grow up so fast, don’t they? Seem like only yesterday she was just an innocent little teen. Wait, I think that WAS yesterday. <crowd chuckles> Ok, keeping things moving along, our next award is for Gimmick of the Year. I have explained this before, but the producers tell me I have to say it again. A gimmick is what makes a good wrestler great. It can be the thing that makes them stand out above the rest, something that the fans can latch onto and cheer, or boo. Here to present Gimmick of the Year….Ladies and Gentlemen…..Canada’s own, Lance Storm!
<Storm gets a nice ovation from the crowd>
LS: I was sitting at home in Calgary…….Alberta………Canada <cheap pop> when GM the Rick called and asked me if I wanted to present this award. At first I thought it was a little bit of an odd award for me to present, but then I got to thinking, I may be the PERFECT example of what a gimmick can do to help, and hurt, your career. When I debuted in WCW, my gimmick was that I was an excellent Canadian wrestler, collecting titles and giving them Canadian names. It got me over nicely, and I had a great run. Then I went to the WWF, WWE, whatever they were calling themselves at the time, and my gimmick was…….being boring. It crushed any momentum I had, and essentially rocketed me down the card. So, a word of warning, your gimmick can make you, and it can break you. Let’s take a look at the nominees for Gimmick of the Year
V: The nominees for Gimmick of the Year are: Davin and Moreland – Davin Moreland and Savior Eco – Ecosystem.
LS: The winner of the 2010 Gimmick of the Year is……..Savior Eco – Ecosystem!
<the crowd roars as Ecosystem gets to his feet. He thanks Tyler Vangarde specifically, then the rest of the members of whatever is left of DELIVERS. As he is walking to the podium, Eco stops by Tytan’s table and they look at one another for a long time before Eco leaves and heads to the stage. Eco takes the award from Storm and shakes his hand then turns and faces the audience. He takes a moment to collect himself then he speaks>
Eco: I don’t know if I should be honored, or insulted, to win this award. <crowd murmurs> There is part of me that resents me saving the OOWF and the members of the OOWF as being a gimmick. When I came back, when I had the epiphany that I could do more, I realized that I was the one who could save the OOWF. I could save those who have strayed. I can bring you salvation. You may call it a gimmick, you may accuse me of living the gimmick, but the reality of it is this – I am here to do one thing. My name is Junichiro Muyo, and I WILL save you.
<Eco walks back to his table and everyone applauds him. GM the Rick comes back to the stage and looks a little confused>
GMtR: Ok then. That was short and sweet. Does anyone know what our concussion policy is here in the OOWF?
Voice From the Back: We don’t have one!
GMtR: Oh. Huh. Well, maybe we should have that looked into. I think Eco may have suffered a few too many shots to the head. Anyway, moving on to our next award. Our next award is Catchphrase of the Year. Catchphrase is similar to a gimmick in the regard that it can get you over. Of course, it can also turn against you when you beat people over the head with it a million times a night, I am looking at YOU Rock and Austin! Here to present Catchphrase of the Year…..does this guy even HAVE a catchphrase? Oh well, it doesn’t matter. Here to present Catchphrase of the Year……Sheamus!
<former WWE World Heavyweight Champion, and from what we are told constantly, the ONLY Irish-born WWE champion in history, Sheamus makes his way to the podium, the lights are quickly dimmed to avoid blinding everyone in the audience>
S: Ya betta watch yaself fella. Oi don need some fancy catchphrase, I am ta Celtic Waryar! An don’ tink for a second tat I have fargotten what tat lump Seamus did ta me. On ta other tings tough. A catchphrase is somtin I didn’t need, but some, like John Cena, do. I am te greatest Irish wrestler ta ever step foot in tat ring. My catchphrase is me two fists. Now, b’fore I get all worked up an come out tere and drop someone on ter head, lets hear ta nominees
V: The nominees for Catchphrase of the Year are: I am Alexander Darling, and well, you’re just not – Alexander Darling, and I’m Junichiro Muyo and I WILL Save You - Ecosystem
S: Really? Tat’s it? Watever, te award for Catchphrase of ta year goes to: Oim Junichiro Muyo an I WILL Save You – Ecosyst’m
<Eco gets out of his seat again and once again thanks Tyler, and once again stops by Tytan’s table and they stare one another down for a moment. Eco steps away and heads back to the podium. Sheamus hands Eco the award and starts to leave, but Eco puts a hand on his shoulder and stops him>
Eco: No, Sheamus, I want you to stay, I want you to hear what I have to say. <Eco looks at the award, then back to Sheamus> I want you to know that I love you.
S: Listen fella, I don’t roll like tat
Eco: Not like that. I love you like a brother. I love you like a lost soul who has come back to the flock. <Eco looks out at the crowd> My words are not just an empty promise. Much like what I do is not a gimmick, what I say is not a catchphrase either. I mean it when I say I will save each and every one of you. And if that means being buried alive at Hell On Earth tomorrow, so be it. When I rise again, you will all see that I am Junichiro Muyo, and I WILL save you.
<Eco leaves the stage and heads back to his seat. Suddenly Sheamus seems to be very aware that he is still standing there and GM the Rick is standing next to him giving him that look. Sheamus turns and quickly walks off the stage.>
GMtR: Quite the odd bird that one. And Sheamus is kind of weird too. Ok, moving things along, our next award is for Finisher of the Year. Seriously, you are all wrestlers, I have to really explain what a FINISHER is to you? <blank stares from everyone in the audience> I deeply, and sincerely hate every single one of you. FINE! A finishing move is that signature move that goes along with things like Gimmick and Catchphrase in the makeup of a wrestler. A good finisher can get you over just as much as any catchphrase, any gimmick, the best physique, whatever. Does that satisfy all of you now? <more blank stares> Assholes. Here to present Finisher of the Year is……SERIOUSLY? ARE YOU SHITTING ME? Fuck me, fuck my life, and fuck whoever decided THIS was a good idea. Here to present Finisher of the Year……”The Viper” “The Apex Predator” Randy Orton
<the OOWF crowd kind of cheers, but ends up booing more than cheering as Orton walks out with the WWE title slung over his shoulder. Orton takes a long time looking at the crowd, either deciding what to say or trying to remember what to say. Either way, it takes him a long time to speak>
RO: I came here……..to present……an award. Not just……any award, but the award for Finisher…..Of….The…..Year. There is NO ONE……better to give this award than……me. When I coil to strike……there is NO ONE who can escape……the…..viper…..and the R…..K…..O. Now……lets hear the nominees for…..finisher…..of…..the……year.
V: The nominees for Finisher of the Year are the Darling Driver, by Alexander Darling and A Really Good Diamond Cutter by Davin Moreland
RO: The winner of….Finisher……of……the……year is…….Really Good…..Diamond…..Cutter, Davin……….Moreland
<The crowd cheers, and Davin gets to his feet and heads to the podium. He takes the award from Randy Orton, and they stare at one another for a long time. Davin is about to speak when Orton steps in front of him and speaks>
RO: You know…..truth be told……this award should go……to……me. <boos> The Really Good…..Diamond…..Cutter is nothing more than a poor rip off of the R……..K………O.
DM: Is that a fact
RO: That……is a…….fact
DM: Well then……..<Davin grabs Randy Orton and DRIVES him to the floor with a RGDC! The crowd roars their approval at this. Moreland stands over him and talks some trash over the prone Orton then grabs the mic>
DM: Don’t you EVER…..EVER compare your shitty RKO to the RGDC. EVER! The man who gets credit for the RGDC is the one, the only, “Diamond” Dallas Page <Davin points to the audience where DDP is sitting at his table> The RGDC has proven that it is, without a doubt, THE most devastating move in the OOWF. Winning this award for the third time in four years proves that. Chad, Zane, I love you guys like brothers, but tomorrow night, one, or both, of you is going to feel the….<looks at DDP> BANG! Of the RGDC!
<Moreland walks off the stage and heads back to his table where he and DDP share a manly hug of mutual respect. On the stage, GM the Rick looks down at a prone Randy Orton and takes a long drink from his flask, then calls out security and has then drag Orton to the back>
GMtR: You know, its things like that that makes me hate all of you just a little less. Next up, we have one of my personal favorite awards, Promo of the Year. As many of you know, promo skills can be just as important in ring skills. We have seen many wrestlers come and go that were proficient in the ring, but couldn’t cut a promo to save their lives. For the most part, those guys are gone. Promos are as integral to a wrestler as anything, it advances the story you are in, without that, it becomes one gigantic clusterfuck and nothing goes anywhere. So, without further delay, here to present Promo of the Year are…..
<GM the Rick is interrupted by The Chickenshit Heels, who come out and put their hand over the microphone before Rick can announce who is presenting the award. AA takes the mic and SPEAKS!>
AA: Now that we are the HALL OF FAME Chickenshit Heels, and the best damn promo team of all time, I think it is only right, and fair, that we present this award.
JA: In fact, if there were any true justice in this world, the OOWF Promo of the Year would be, from here on out, known as the Chickenshit Heels Promo of the Year Award
AA: That is a damn fine idea Johnny. Now, the nominees for the Chickenshit Heels Promo of the Year Award are……VOICE!
V: The nominees for OOWF Promo of…..
JA: EXCUSE ME?
V: SHUT THE FUCK UP JOHNNY! <the crowd roars> The nominees for OOWF Promo of the Year are: Firewoman and Ravenna Shower Brawl, Firewoman’s Wedding and Ecosystem: Where I’m From
JA: The winner of the CHICKENSHIT HEELS PROMO OF THE YEAR AWARD……..
Crowd: SHUT THE FUCK UP JOHNNY!
<Adrenaline has a temper tantrum, takes his jacket off and elbow drops it, blades, then gets it tangled around his feet, falls to the floor and taps out>
AA: The winner is……ECOSYSTEM – WHERE I’M FROM!
<The crowd cheers as Ecosystem makes his way AGAIN to the stage. We have the awkward moment with Tytan, again, and this time Tytan appears to be getting a little tired of it. He starts to get out of his seat, but Damon Wrath stops him. Eco smirks and heads to the stage where he shakes AA’s hand and frees a bloody Johnny Adrenaline from the evil clutches of Sport Jacket. AA consoles his partner as they walk away, Johnny breaks away from AA and comes back and attacks Sport Jacket, getting a few more shots in on it before AA pulls him away. Medics, and a tailor, come out to check on Sport Jacket. Eco speaks>
Eco: A lot is known about my wrestling career, everyone knows I started the OOWF, that I formed the Establishment, I wanted people to know about the real Ecosystem and a little bit about where I am from. I didn’t do it for attention, I didn’t do it for pity, I did it so you would understand that when I talk about salvation, when I talk about being saved, I speak the truth. I was redeemed, I was saved. I will do that for each, and every one of you. I am Junichiro Muyo, and I WILL save you. All of you.
<Eco leaves the stage, he gets a nice ovation from the crowd, though they seem to be a little tired of hearing that they will all be saved, whether they want to be or not. Eco takes his seat behind his three awards and GM the Rick comes back out onto the stage, as he is walking out he is yelling something to one of the production assistants>
GMtR:……..I DON’T CARE what Hall of Fame they are in, I don’t want them out here again! You hear me? Now I have to deal with the Pope! He is going to accuse me of being racist! <Rick suddenly realizes that people are staring at him so he composes himself> Ok, yeah, um moving right along. We are up to Feud of the Year. There is a lot of hate in wrestling. Hate leads to matches, matches lead to feuds. The OOWF is no stranger to epic feuds, we have had our fair share of them, and this year is certainly no different. Here to present the award for OOWF Feud of the Year……this again? We tried this last year and it failed miserably. Fine. Let’s do it again. Here to present the award for OOWF Feud of the Year……Tommy Dreamer and Raven!
<Everyone cheers as Dreamer and Raven come out to the podium. Dreamer motions for Raven to take the mic first, but Raven backs off and lets him have the spotlight first. The cheers die down and Dreamer speaks>
TD: You know, when I said what I said about TNA being a tribute to ECW, I meant that. What I could have just as easily said was that TNA was a tribute to the OOWF. <the crowd roars> You guys may not operate on the grand stage of WWE or even TNA, but I have talked to the boys…..and women…..in the back, and I know each and every one of you would have fit right into ECW. You all get it, you all get what it is like to bleed, to sweat, to……<Dreamer breaks down and cries, he backs off and Raven takes the mic>
R: Seriously Tommy, can you not make it through a SINGLE promo without crying? Look, I agree with Dreamer, you guys get it, you get the desire to be the best. With that desire comes feuds, they may start innocently enough, but every now and then, something happens, they become personal, they become something with a life of their own. When that happens, a feud becomes something more. We had plenty of those in ECW, and I see them here in the OOWF as well. So, let’s get a rundown of the candidates for feud of the year
V: The nominees for Feud of the Year are: Poe & Stank vs. Texpress, Alexander Darling vs. Firewoman and Alexander Darling vs. The Quinns
R: The winner of OOWF Feud of the Year is……<looks at the card> This one was one of my all time favorites too……ALEXANDER DARLING vs. THE QUINNS!
<Alex and Fire get up and head to the podium, Moose gets up from his separate table and makes his way up there as well. Fire takes great pains to make sure she is between Moose and Alex the whole time, she speaks first>
FW: You know this feud was never supposed to happen. Alex and I were never supposed to be across the ring from one another. Somehow, things just got a bit out of control and……well it came to this. This is bittersweet for me, on one hand, it almost cost me something I value a lot, on the other hand <looking at the OOWF World Heavyweight Title on her shoulder> it got me the title.
<Darling takes the mic, Moose just glares at him>
AD: This feud was only supposed to be between Fire and I. This was something that was a long time in the making to determine which of us was the better wrestler. Firewoman won, and I don’t hesitate to say that, for our match, she was the better wrestler. In all honesty, Alexander Darling vs. Firewoman should be the feud of the year. Moose, you had no business getting involved in this.
<Moose snatches the mic from Darling and seems barely under control>
MHJ: You know Darling, every time you open your mouth, it is like nails on a chalkboard. If my memory serves me right, and it does, I WOULDN’T have got involved in your feud with Fire had you not crossed a line and kidnapped her. <Moose is getting angrier and angrier, Fire glares at him and mouths ‘you promised” Moose calms slightly> I am not going to do anything right now, but I promise you this, at some point, our paths will cross again, and when they do, what I do will make what happened in Japan look like a WWE PG show.
<the three of them turn to leave, Fire leaves with Alex, Moose leaves on his own. Moose passes Dreamer, who is still crying and being consoled by Raven. Moose just shakes his head and heads back to his table. GM the Rick comes back out, passing Dreamer and Raven and giving them an odd look>
GMtR: That boy cries over everything anymore, doesn’t he? Ok, back to the show. I have been around wrestling for a long time, and while most of that has been watching wrestling, I have seen enough to know that there is nowhere else in the world, no other fed in the WORLD, in the history of EVER that puts on the consistently great matches that the OOWF does, I can say that without a bit of hesitation.
<the crowd cheers Rick for this>
GMtR: In the last year, we have seen some fantastic matches, and while there are probably a dozen that I think COULD win this award, only two that actually made the final vote. Here to present the award for OOWF Match of the Year is a man who knows a thing or two about being in great matches ladies and gentlemen, The Best there Is, the Best there Was, the Best there Ever Will Be…..Bret “The Hitman” Hart!
<The crowd roars – except for Davin Moreland – as Bret walks out to the mic>
BH: You know, every match I have ever been in, I have set out to be the best of my career. Sometimes that works, but most of the time it fails. Sometimes you just don’t click with the person you are working with, sometimes it’s a nagging injury keeping you from doing things as well as you want. My dad always told me that as long as you went out there and intended to give your best, it really didn’t matter if it WAS your best. All you can do is the best you can do. I have watched a lot of OOWF, and I have seen a lot of great, great matches from the men and women here. You guys have it all, from out of control brawls <camera pans to Moose/Stank and Drink & Destroy> to classic matches of pure wrestling ability <camera pans to fellow Canadian LD Williams> It is my honour to present the OOWF Match of the Year. Let’s get the nominees
V: The nominees for OOWF match of the Year are: Firewoman vs. Alexander Darling – 60 Minute Iron Person Match for the OOWF World Heavyweight Title and Bryce Larson vs. Chris Evans – Steel Cage Match
BH: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of OOWF Match of the Year is…….we have a TIE!
<Evans, Larson, Firewoman and Alexander Darling all come to the podium and get their awards from Bret Hart and exchange handshakes. Evans takes the mic first>
CE: I am proud of my match with Bryce, even if I am not necessarily proud of what I had to do to win that match. It’s an honor to be recognized by your peers, especially in match of the year. Thank you.
BL: I have had a lot of matches over the years and none of them measured up to the intensity and violence of this match. There are sometimes matches that are so outstanding that they launch the careers of the winner……and the loser…..into the stratosphere. That is what this match is going to do for Bryce Larson. Thank you.
<Larson hands the mic to Darling, then takes his spot behind Darling and Fire, eyeing Evans the whole time.>
AD: I knew, when this match was made, that it would be the perfect opportunity for Fire and I to show what we could do. Without meaning to sound arrogant, I already knew I was among the best wrestlers in the world. After that match, Fire proved that she too belongs in the pantheon of great wrestlers alive today.
<the crowd applauds Darling, though we do see Moose rolling his eyes and shaking his head at Darling. Finally Fire takes the mic>
FW: I have never let being a woman in a male dominated sport slow me down one bit. I have never used it as an excuse, I have never relied on that as a crutch. When I started here, I wanted to be more than eye candy. I wanted to be more than a diva side show attraction. I wanted to compete alongside the men and be accepted as one of them. When I got the chance to face Alex in this Iron Person match, I knew this would be the ultimate test of my skills. The fact that I won, cements that I can hold my own, and win, against anyone in the world, and that I am not afraid to go toe to toe with anyone <Fire glares at Poe as she says this>
<the four shake hands, Bryce and Evans somewhat reluctantly, and they all take their seats. GM the Rick comes back out to the stage>
GMtR: Let’s keep this thing moving right along, shall we? Our next award is Angle of the Year. Now, for those of you not sure what and angle is, well then I suspect you are in the wrong business. An angle is an overarching story that we want to tell that is aided by matches and promos. All sounds very technical right?
<at this point Kayfabe wanders onto the stage, bloody and staggering>
GMtR: Seriously? Mrs. Drama Queen, you can leave now.
<Kayfabe straightens up, wipes the blood off, and storms off the stage to the back>
GMtR: Anyway, here to present Angle of the Year is none other than the only Olympic Gold Medal Winner in wrestling, Kurt Angle!
<Angle walks out and shakes GM the Rick’s hand. The OOWF crowd gives him a standing ovation. As it dies down, Angle begins to speak>
KA: The Main Event Mafia, Team Angle, the Invasion. Those were some of the great angles in recent wrestling history. I am proud to have been part of all of them, and I would like to think that me being part of them made them a little more special. A great angle can launch careers, a great angle can pique interest in an entire company. The nWo angle probably saved WCW. A good angle is not something that is easy to think of, even if it is right there in front of you. I won an Olympic gold medal with a broken freakin neck. I turned that into an angle throughout my career, and it has helped me tremendously. Whether this year’s angle of the year does that for the winner remains to be seen. For now, let’s get the nominees for Angle of the Year
V: The nominees for Angle of the Year are: The Formation of the Five and Firewoman’s Wedding
KA: And the winner of Angle of the Year is…….FIREWOMAN’S WEDDING!
<Fire gets to her feet and starts to the podium, Alexander Darling gets up and starts that way, but one glare from Fire and he backs off and sits back down. The camera pans to Moose and we see that he is quietly seething. Fire gets to the podium and shakes hands with Angle, then they share a hug of mutual respect. Angle backs off and Fire speaks>
FW: I really don’t know what to say. I guess I am a walking advertisement to what alcohol can do to a person. <the crowd laughs, well, except for Moose> The funny thing is, none of this was planned, I intended to marry Jericho and take my life from there. Then, alcohol intervened and…..well this is where we are now. I really don’t know what else to say about it, since it is a work in progress, so I will just say thank you to all of you.
<Fire takes her award and sits down, Darling gives her a funny look and she must be able to feel her brother staring a hole in the back of her head because she turns around and gives him a look. GM the Rick comes back out to the stage and we cut away from them and focus on GM the Rick again>
GMtR: Now, we move into what I consider the meat of the awards. Everything up until this enhances a wrestler, or helps the product. From here on, it is on the wrestlers themselves. Our first award is for the Breakthrough Star of the Year, or the Rookie of the Year. Each year we have a crop of new wrestlers in the OOWF, some hang around and become the superstars of the future, some fade into oblivion unable to handle the rigors of the OOWF. Make no mistake about it, what all of you do is not an easy life to choose. The rigors of our schedule, the physical toll it takes on your body is nothing to be taken lightly. A new tradition I would like to begin in the OOWF is the previous winner of the Breakthrough Star/Rookie of the Year to present it to the following year’s winner. So, ladies and gentlemen, here to present the Breakthrough Star/Rookie of the Year Award for 2010, your very own, “Lionheart” Chris Evans
<Evans walks out onto the stage and his peers give him a rousing ovation. Evans grins as he soaks in the cheers. They finally die down and he speaks>
CE: I was honored to win this award last year. Coming into the OOWF is not an easy thing. This is a close-knit community and everyone is very protective of the other. Being the new guy is never easy, and it was no different here. It takes time to find your place in the pecking order, it takes time to figure out everyone’s habits, and what to do and what not to do. With all that on your mind, you still try to go out there and perform at your best. I was very lucky to have a group of fellow wrestlers to come in with, we all joined at about the same time, and we could all go through the growing pains together. I feel like I am not a part of the OOWF, which is something I am more proud of than anything else I have achieved in my life.
<round of applause for Evans>
CE: Now, let’s get the nominees for Breakthrough Star/Rookie of the Year
V: The nominees for Breakthrough Star/Rookie of the Year are: “The Crusher” Stan Fulton and Ravenna Blue
CE: And the winner of Breakthrough Star/Rookie of the Year is….this makes me proud….RAVENNA BLUE!
<Ravenna gets to her feet and gets hugs from Wrath and Tytan and makes her way to the stage. Evans meets her and they share a huge hug. Evans turns the mic over to Ravenna. Ravenna stands there for a moment while the cheers and applause gets louder and louder. For maybe the first time in her career, Ravenna seems to feel a little awkward being in front of people. Finally the applause dies down and Ravenna speaks>
RB: It is truly an honor to be recognized as the Breakthrough Star. I have said it before, but I don’t think she has listened to me. Now that I have her undivided attention, maybe she will hear what I am saying. <Ravenna stares right at Fire> Being a woman in this business is not easy. Most promoters want you to be eye candy and participate in fluff like pillow fights and lingerie matches. When GM the Rick approached me about signing with the OOWF, I made it very clear that I had no intentions of doing any of that. If I were to come to the OOWF, I wanted to be like Firewoman. I wanted to compete against the best and I wanted to be taken seriously. I believe that this award tells me that I am doing a good job so far, but I know I have a long way to go before I make it to Fire’s level. That’s ok, I like a good challenge. I won’t stop until I get there.
<The crowd roars their approval, and Ravenna starts to walk away, but then comes back to the mic>
RB: Oh, and before I forget, Stan Fulton, I may have won this award, but if it means anything to you, I think you have made one hell of an impact on the OOWF in your short time here. Had you showed up a few months earlier, I honestly believe you would have won the award this year. Thank you
<Ravenna joins Evans and they walk back to their table. Ravenna is BEAMING at winning the award. GM the Rick comes back out on the stage and the awards show continues>
GMtR: Well said Ravenna, well said. Ok moving along, up next is the Tag Team of the Year award. Now, contrary to what Vince McMahon believes, you cannot just toss two singles wrestlers together and expect to get a solid tag team. Being in a tag team requires dedication and a hell of a lot of training and timing. Not everyone makes a good tag team wrestler, it is a science, a science that Vince has been shitting on for years. I am proud to say that here in the OOWF, we value our tag team division. It is not a sideshow, it is not something for “main eventers” to do while they are out of the main event picture. It is a craft all unto its own, and I like to think that we pay some tribute to the great tag teams of the past like the Rock and Roll Express, the Midnight Express and the Road Warriors just to name a few. Here to present the OOWF Tag Team of the Year Award is……….
<once again, GM the Rick is interrupted, this time by Attitude Adjuster. AA comes out and stops Rick and takes the mic from him>
AA: Did you SEE what happened earlier?
GMtR: I saw you two assholes interrupt me and try to hijack the show
AA: NO! You saw my partner CALLOUSLY ATTACKED!
GMtR: He got tangled up in his sport jacket
AA: <taking the mic and turning to the crowd> I just came back from Johnny’s bedside. He is in the hospital. Honestly, I don’t know if he is going to make it. Before I left, Johnny……..Johnny said one thing, Johnny’s last wish was……..<dramatic pause> his last wish was for The Chickenshit Heels, the HALL OF FAME CHICKENSHIT HEELS to hand out the OOWF Chickenshit Heel Tag Team of the Year Award.
GMtR: HE GOT TANGLED IN HIS SPORTS COAT
AA: I can’t get the image of poor Johnny, lying there with all the tubes and machines…….it’s almost too much to bear!
GMtR: Oh for FUCKS SAKE, look, I have someone to give that award, and you already screwed Pope out of a paycheck. If I screw these guys over, I will never hear the end of it. So, ladies and gentlemen, here to present the OOWF Tag Team of the Year Award……Scott Hall and Kevin Nash……the OUTSIDERS!
<Hall and Nash come out, Hall looks remarkably sober, and Nash looks remarkably old. They go slowly, mostly so Nash doesn’t tear anything and finally get to the podium where AA is seething>
AA: THEM! WHAT DO THEY KNOW ABOUT TAG TEAM WRESTLING!
Hall: Hey yo……It sounds like the little man here has a problem with us being here
Nash: I am not sure “little man” is the right term Scotty. Look, AA, just run along. You are in the presence of greatness here. The Outsiders are the biggest thing to hit wrestling in……ever. I did this as a favor to Rick because, honestly, he agreed to put a little extra in my paycheck this week if you know what I mean
SH: So…..why don’t you take your little drama and head to the back with the rest of the washed up wrestlers that no one cares about anymore. <Scott Hall shoves AA and AA attacks, getting in a couple of good shots on Hall before Nash comes to his partners aid and they beat AA down. Surprisingly, there is no security to stop them. Nash grabs AA and sets him up for a power bomb, but the crowd begins to roar as a heavily bandaged JOHNNY ADRENALINE makes his return! He hobbles out onto the stage and CLIPS Nash from behind sending him to the floor! Johnny pulls brass knucks out of his bandaged arm and KO’S Nash! Adrenaline and Johnny pull Hall up and hit an ADRENALINE RUSH on the stage! Hall is DEAD! Johnny stands up and slowly pulls off all of the bandages.......... wait! He wasn’t in the hospital at all! OH MY GOD THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS SWERVED US AGAIN! Johnny takes the mic>
JA: And THIS is why we are the best damn team in OOWF history. Now, let’s hear the nominees for the OOWF Chickenshit Heel Tag Team of the Year Award
V: The nominees for OOWF Tag Te…..errr OOWF Chickenshit Heel Tag Team of the Year are: Texpress and Team Team
AA: Your winners are…….<smirking> a team we already beat……TEXPRESS
<Chad and Zane get up and head to the podium, but not before Davin comes up to them and congratulates them. Texpress get onto the stage and TCH back off while security drags Hall and Nash to the back>
CM: You know, the saddest day of my life was when Zane was sent home to get his head together. Even though I won the Onslaught Championship, it never felt right without Zane being there waiting for the tag on the apron
ZM: I had a little issue, but that is all cleared up now, and Texpress is back! We are putting all the teams in the OOWF on notice……<looking back at Johnny and AA> even you clowns, Texpress is back, and we fully intend to reclaim our spot as the top tag team in the OOWF.
CM: We are the measuring stick of tag team wrestling, and while other teams may be good, they simply don’t measure up.
ZM: You might want to think about renaming this award the OOWF Texpress Tag Team Championship Excellence Award, because we fully intend on winning this thing for as long as we darn well please
<Zane and Chad leave the podium while Johnny and AA have mini-Flair temper tantrums in the background before getting escorted to the back by security. GM the Rick comes back onto the stage finishing off a flask of whiskey>
GMtR: You know how much that is going to cost me? You know what I am going to have to PAY Kevin Nash? No, none of you do, and none of you care. Fine. Let’s just move along then. Next up is OOWF Heel of the Year. I really don’t know how much more to explain this one, a heel is someone who does bad things and revels in it. A heel is someone the fans hate, someone for the faces to swear that they are going to rid the OOWF of. Without a good heel to vanquish, a face is kind of worthless. So, here to present the OOWF Heel of the Year Award……”The Game” Triple H!
<HHH’s music plays and old school heel HHH comes out, complete with leather jacket and denim vest. HHH is carrying his sledgehammer. He pauses next to the podium and does his water spit. The OOWF audience gives him a round of applause, but they are certainly not gushing all over themselves at HHH’s presence>
HHH: When GM the Rick called me and asked me to come down here and present this award, I thought back to what went down at the OOWF vs. WWE show back in July. My first thought was to come here tonight and beat the hell out of Rick, and anyone else that wanted a piece of the Game. But then, I thought about it a little more, and hey, let’s face it, we are the WWE, the most powerful wrestling organization in the world, hell we are the New York Yankees of the wrestling world. We can do whatever the hell we want, whenever the hell we want, and if some little pissant fed wants to decide to show us up, we can either crush them, or just laugh it off as a pathetic attempt to get some free publicity. Now, all I am gonna say is all of you are DAMN lucky I wasn’t there that night, or there would have been hell to pay. Now…..since I am a nice guy and all, let’s get the nominees for Heel of the Year:
V: The nominees for OOWF Heel of the Year are: Ecosystem, Stank and Moosehead Jack
HHH: And the winner is….<chuckling> figures, MOOSEHEAD JACK
<Moose gets to his feet and heads to the podium, completely ignoring everyone around him. Moose gets there, but HHH isn’t done talking>
HHH: So what’s the deal with you Moose? Huh? You walk around here all big and bad, then you call some girl Mouse. Oh, yeah, and don’t think I forgot what you did to Cena and Orton, I may not like them, but they are MY boys.
<HHH and Moose go nose to nose and HHH slowly takes the sledgehammer off his shoulder and holds it up between them. Moose smirks and backs off a little and asks for the mic>
MHJ: You know Trips…..I can call you Trips, right? <not waiting for an answer> You made some good points earlier. You WEREN’T here for the OOWF vs. WWE card, and why was that? Oh yeah, because you were hurt…..again…….conveniently. The fact is, you weren’t hurt at all, were you? You were afraid. You were afraid that you would get the same as your boys Cena and Orton. Tell me Trips, what was going through your mind when LD and I made Cena and Orton bleed like stuck pigs? <again, not waiting for an answer, but now HHH is shaking with rage like he tends to do> You know, despite all that, it was one thing you said earlier that REALLY got my attention….
<Moose SLAMS HHH in the face with a head butt, dropping him to the floor>
MHJ: I FUCKING HATE THE YANKEES!
<Moose grabs Happy DethBat from beneath the podium where Mahoney was keeping it safe for him and proceeds to BEAT THE HELL out of HHH leaving him a bloody mess. Moose stops and looks out at the stunned OOWF crowd. He sees a furious GM the Rick headed in his direction. Moose puts the bat across his shoulder and grabs his award and walks off the stage to the back laughing maniacally. Medics come out and help a very bloody HHH to the back>
GMtR: Another fucking phone call for me to make, I fucking hate him. <Rick doesn’t even bother with the flask, he turns a fifth of whiskey up and takes a long slug> Ahh. Ok, maybe THIS segment will be a little more pleasant. It certainly couldn’t go much worse. Ok, you know everything I said about heels? Well just the opposite is true about faces. A face is someone who does good things and revels in it. A face is someone who the fans love, someone for the heels to threaten violence and destruction against. Without a good face to threaten, a heel is kind of worthless. So, here to present the OOWF Face of the Year Award, TNA’s own, Mr. Anderson!
<Anderson comes out and the crowd cheers him. GM the Rick tries to hand him the mic, but Anderson shakes it off and thanks him anyway. Anderson stands behind the podium and a spotlight appears on him. He holds out his hand and a mic descends from the ceiling right into his hand>
MA: Thank you Sting. Ladies and Gentlemen here to present the OOWF award for Face of the Year is none other than the HAIC, Head Asshole In Charge, MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTER AAAAAAAAAAAAANDERSON
<dramatic pause>
MA: Anderson. Now, I was asked here tonight to present this award, not because I am a great wrestler, not because I can cut a great promo, though, let’s face it, I am pretty damn awesome at that. No, I was asked to come here to present this award because the fans fricken LOVE me. And I totally get it, when the fans cheer you, it’s a RUSH! I get what they were talking about when they said getting booed is fun, but getting cheered is FRICKIN AWESOME! So……let’s get this moving along. Voice…….how bout you give me a list of the nominees for Face of the Year sweetheart
V: The nominees for OOWF Face of the Year are: Alexander Darling and Ravenna Blue
MA: and the winner of OOWF Face of the Year is……<dramatic pause> a TIE!
<Darling and Ravenna both look surprised, but probably for different reasons. Ravenna gets to the podium first and offers Darling a handshake when he gets there, he accepts it, but not eagerly. They both accept congratulations from Anderson. Ravenna gets to speak first>
RB: This is really an honor to win this award. I tried to do things the right way all year long. I had a goal with Sanctum, then with Valor, do things the right way in the OOWF. I wanted to prove that you can win without resorting to mindless violence and bloodshed. It is not an easy road, but the fans are behind us, so I know we can do it. This award tells me that some of you agree, the OOWF doesn’t need to be about blood and violence, we have some of the best wrestlers in the world here, we can show more skill with a leg lock than a sledgehammer. Thank you
<Ravenna gets a nice cheer from the crowd and Alex steps to the mic.>
AD: Really. Did you ever think you would see the day when Alexander Darling won the Face of the Year award? I never set out to win it, things just fell in place. First, I decided to take the world title from Poe. Once again, I proved that I am Alexander Darling, and well, Poe is just not. And the fans cheered. I defended this title each and every week against kids who hadn’t had their shot yet. And the fans cheered. Then, the Quinn’s came after me. I fought tooth and nail against two of the most blood-thirsty wrestlers in the world. And the fans cheered. After awhile, I have to admit, hearing the fans cheer is kind of nice. It is a nice pick up in a match, it is something I never thought I would hear again. In the end, this is another bit of recognition, this just goes with everything else that makes me Alexander Fucking Darling, and everyone else, well, they’re just not. Thank you.
<Alex and Ravenna head to their tables. GM the Rick comes back out, not even bothering with a flask anymore, he just pounds on a full fifth of whiskey>
GMtR: Ok, you all still with me? We have come to the end….<Rick stumbles into a half drunken Jim Morrison impression, which would be a half way good Jim Morrison impression> this is the end, my only friend the end……anyway, we come to the final award of the evening, the OOWF Wrestler of the Year award. Winning this award means that you are considered, by your peers, as the best all-around wrestler in the OOWF this year, and honestly, this is an award that should not be taken lightly. Therefore, we spared no expense to bring in, the one, the only, the LEGEND, the NATURE BOY RIC FLAIR to present the 2010 OOWF Wrestler of the Year Award!
<2010 a Space Odyssey plays and Ric Flair walks out onto the stage. Everyone in the OOWF stands and gives him a thunderous ovation, showing their respect to the living legend. Flair soaks it in for a moment, then motions for them to calm down and take their seats>
RF: You know, I know most of you out there in the audience, I have met you, I have talked to you. I know what you put yourselves through each and every night when you walk that aisle and go to the ring. And it is that, knowing that about all of you that makes your applause mean so much to me. I thank each and every one of you for what you do, and more importantly, what you represent in wrestling, heart, desire and the refusal to give anything less than your best. Thank you.
<huge roar of approval for this>
RF: In my career, I was often called one of the best wrestlers in the game. That compliment means more to me than anything else, especially coming from my peers. The thing of it is, without a good opponent, it doesn’t matter how good you are. The joke in the back was that Ric Flair could carry a broomstick to a five star match. Again, I appreciate that, but it always took a dance partner. You get someone else in that ring who knows what they are doing, and you can make magic baby!
<More cheers>
RF: To be singled out by your peers as the best…..it is a feeling like none other. I have been there for the birth of my children. I have been in churches older than time, I have been all over the world and seen things that no one else has seen and the FEELING that I got then……doesn’t even compare. It is an honor that few have bestowed on them, and tonight, we are going to add another name to the list of greats. Tonight, we are going to make someone’s legacy. Tonight, someone is named OOWF Wrestler of the Year…….let’s hear the nominations
V: The nominees for OOWF Wrestler of the Year are: Firewoman and Alexander Darling
RF: And the winner is <the camera focuses on the table that Fire and Alex are sitting at> ………….ALEXANDER DARLING!
<Darling gets to his feet, and Fire gets up and gives him a quick hug, then sits back down and looks slightly disappointed. The camera pans back to a bloody Moosehead Jack and he is just staring with death in his eyes as Darling heads to the stage. Darling takes the award from Ric Flair, shakes his hand and shares a manly hug of mutual respect. The crowd roars for Darling, except for Moose, who remains seated, glaring at Darling. Darling takes a few minutes to compose himself, then speaks>
AD: You know, when I decided to become a wrestler, I had to walk away from my family to do it. My parents expected me to follow in my father’s footsteps and be the CEO of a company, or a lawyer, or something prestigious and high powered. That was not the life I wanted. I left home and trained in ROH. I took my lumps, but I learned. I improved and honed my skills. I headed to Japan, determined to be the best. I got there and I took my lumps. I took a beating. Everyone knows my history with Poe. Everyone knows all the baggage that came from that. But I fought, I clawed, I worked my way to the top, determined to be the very best in the world.
Tonight <looking at the award> I can say that I have reached the top. I thought winning the OOWF World Heavyweight Title was the crowning achievement, but I was wrong. Winning this award, this cements me as one of the best. <Darling pauses, almost as if he is not sure if he wants to say what he is about to say> But I did not do it alone. Through the bravado of wrestling, thank you’s often go unspoken. So now is the time to say that. First, thank you to all the guys in Ring of Honor. I learned more from them than I thought possible. They pushed me to be better than I thought I could ever be. They saw something in me that I didn’t even see in myself. They forced me to be better.
Next, I would like to thank…..believe it or not……Poe. Poe, you and I have had our differences, and they are very well documented. You took me under your wing in Japan, and while I don’t agree with everything you did, much like the guys in Ring of Honor, your forced me to be better, even if that meant breaking away from you and facing you. I have to thank GM the Rick. He is another one that I may not always, well, ever, agree with, but he saw the potential in the Darlings. He saw what we did in Japan and he knew that bringing us here would only enhance the OOWF. He gave us a shot in the best fed in the United States, and for that, I will always be grateful.
There are so many others, Davin, Chad, Zane, everyone associated with Run DEA. We were the first, we were the best. That picture of us with the titles hangs in my office. It means as much to me as any title I have ever won. I was part of something that reached the pinnacle of the OOWF, the most dominant group of wrestlers ever assembled. And finally……..I have to thank Moosehead Jack. <the crowd gasps at this, the camera pans to Moose and he still has a look of pure rage in his eyes. Moose is gripping the side of the table, and looks like it is about to snap> I have to thank Moosehead Jack for having such a wonderful sister. <Moose snaps and springs up from the table. Stank and LD Williams manage to grab him before he can charge the stage. They wrestle him to the ground.> Fire, you and I came up together, we trained together, we traveled Japan together. Now, even though the circumstances may not have been ideal, we ARE together. And I thank you the most. <the camera pans to Fire who looks…..happy?> Finally, thank you to all the OOWF wrestlers. I know it was a close vote, and Firewoman could have just as easily won this. But enough of you believe that I am the best, and that means a lot to me. Thank you, all of you.
<the crowd gives Darling a standing ovation, except for Moose. Moose is sitting in a chair trembling with rage. The camera pans around the crowd and we see everyone standing, then back up to Darling who actually looks legitimately humbled by the experience. The cheers continue as we fade to black.>
***OOC***
This has been an especially challenging year for me. As many of you may know, my wife and I separated last September, just around this time. I had some issues with what was probably a nervous breakdown, and just had a lot of shit going on in my head that wasn’t very good for a long time. Through it all though, the OOWF was the one constant that I could look forward to. I want to thank everyone who helped with writing, or ideas, or anything else through the year. Without you guys (and ladies) I am certain the OOWF would have ceased this year. I was just in no shape to keep it going. I owe it all to you guys, and I thank you all so very much. Here’s hoping we can keep this going for another year! Thanks again
-Moose-
Past Winners[/u]
Wrestler of the Year
2010 – Alexander Darling
2009 - Poe
2008 - Stank
2007 – Stank
2006 – Thim Reynolds
2005 – Donovan Viper
Tag Team of the Year
2010 - Texpress
2009 - kz
2008 – Phantos & Lucios
2007 – The Chickenshit Heels
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels
2005 – 3Piece Set
Face of the Year
2010 – (tie) Ravenna Blue & Alexander Darling
2009 - Ecosystem
2008 – (tie) Concrete TG and Phantos & Lucios
2007 – Firechild
2006 – Capellan
2005 – Hardbody Harris
Heel of the Year
2010 – Moosehead Jack
2009 - Firewoman
2008 – Eric O’Mac
2007 – Stank
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels
2005 – Donovan Viper
Breakthrough Star of the Year
2010 – Ravenna Blue
2009 – Chris Evans
2008 - Firewoman
2007 – Voltage
2006 – The Halfrican Americans
2005 – (tie) Firechild & Capellan
Match of the Year
2010 – (tie) Firewoman vs. Alexander Darling – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Iron Person Match - OOWF Blood Bath in Paradise 3 & Chris Evans vs.BryceLarson – Steel Cage Match –OOWF Judgment Eve 5
2009 – kz vs. The Team From Down Under – MidWeek Mayhem 5/20
2008 – OOWF Jobber Gauntlet
2007 - The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy – Unsanctioned Match
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. The Devil’s Brigade vs. wCw – Bamboo Scaffold Match
2005 – Canadian Dragon vs. UnderDawg – Ultimate Hell
Feud of the Year
2010 - Alexander Darling vs. The Quinns
2009 – Firewoman vs. Tytan
2008 – Moosehead Jack vs. Alexander Darling
2007 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2005 – Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
Angle of the Year
2010 – Firewoman’s Wedding
2009 – The Rise and Fall of Run DEA
2008 – Team Rick Goes to Jail
2007 – (tie) DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Championship & Drink & Destroy vs. The Heroes Guild
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2005 – Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
Promo of the Year
2010 – Where I’m From - Ecosystem
2009 – The OOWF Goes Hollywood - Stank
2008 – A History of The Chickenshit Heels
2007 – Drink & Destroy Genealogy Promo
2006 – OOWF Airplane Ride From Hell
2005 – Donovan Viper’s Promo Before Dance of Death
Finisher of the Year
2010 – Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland
2009 – Crucifix Bomb - Poe
2008 – Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland
2007 – (tie)A Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland & Intentional Disqualification – The Chickenshit Heels
2006 – Call of the Wild – The Team From Down Under
2005 – The Chomp – GatorBait
Catchphrase of the Year
2010 – I’m Junichiro Muyo, and I WILL Save You - Ecosystem
2009 – Work Smarter, Not Harder - Ecosystem
2008 - HA! – Eric O’Mac
2007 - Shut the Fuck Up Johnny – FF Capslock
2006 - Shut the Fuck Up Johnny – FF Capslock
2005 - Trust Me – Moosehead Jack
Gimmick of the Year
2010 – Eco the Savior
2009 – Tytan: DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion
2008 – Rabbxt Becomes Bunny
2007 – “Cowboy” Johnny Adrenaline
2006 – The New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000
2005 – Donovan Viper
NPC (Non-Player Character) of the Year
2010 - Selena
2009 - Selena
2008 – (tie) Carl From Fresno & Alexis Darling
2007 – No Award Given
2006 – Missy
2005 – Ric Flair
<We are back in the Dayton Civic Center Annex for the 2010 OOWF Awards Ceremony. The camera pans around and we see all the OOWF stars sitting in attendance, once again dressed to the nines. The music stops playing and once again GM the Rick makes his way to the stage, and once again gets a nice round of applause from the crowd.>
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the 2009/2010 OOWF Awards! We are coming to you live from the Dayton Convention Center Annex! Tonight is the night we have all been waiting for, the crowning of this year’s award winners. And now, to kick things off this evening, Father Lou will lead us in the OOWF prayer:
Our Hardcore who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy blades
Thy bed of nails, thy wounds be done with chairs or with barbed and razored wire.....
Give us this day our daily bled
and forgive us our shattered glasses
as we forgive those who use broken glass against us
And lead us not into garbage, but deliver us from mediocrity.....
Voice: Now, ladies and gentlemen please welcome out emcee for the night, the man who knows what’s best for you whether you like it or not………GM the Rick
GMtR: Ladies and Gentlemen we are gathered here tonight for the Sixth Annual OOWF Awards show!
<the crowd cheers>
GMtR: As you know, this is a celebration of the best of the OOWF in the last year, as voted on by you, the stars of the OOWF. Last night we inducted two more members into the OOWF Hall of Fame. That was their night, tonight, is your night to shine.
<more applause>
GMtR: Let’s kick things off on the right foot, and hopefully, we can get through the night without blood or destruction to the building. One of these years I would really like to get our security deposit back. Here to present the award for NPC – Non-Player Character of the year, ladies and gentlemen, Bobby “the Brain” Heenan!
<Heenan comes out and gets a HUGE ovation from the crowd. You can tell he is not in perfect health, but he makes his way to the podium and seems to genuinely appreciate the cheers of the crowd>
B”TB”H: All you ham and eggers need to sit down! <cheers> While I WAS a wrestler, I will admit I was not a very good one. My job was to make others look good. My job was to be a mouth piece for those who couldn’t speak. Seems kind of ironic that throat cancer is trying to take my voice away, but it’s not going to, if Hulk Hogan couldn’t shut me up, cancer sure as hell won’t.
<this gets cheers and a standing ovation from the crowd>
B”TB”H: Let’s take a look at the nominees for Non-Player Character of the Year:
Voice: The nominees for Non-Player Character of the Year are: Selena and Lucky
B”TB”H: And the winner of NPC of the Year is……….Selena!
<The camera pans to Selena, who looks as excited as can be. She jumps out of her seat and hugs Poe then makes her way to the podium. On the way, she passes Moose, and Moose nods at her and smiles. Selena finally makes her way to the podium. She takes the award from Heenan and gives him a big hug. She is giggling like a school girl, but manages to compose herself and speaks.>
S: Omigosh. This really is an honor. When I won this last year, I was just a kid and I really didn’t know what it meant. A lot has happened to me in the last year, and now, I understand that all of you <looking around> ALL of you think I belong here. The little girl that won the award last year is gone. This year, I am all grown up. And I can’t wait to watch my dear Poe beat the crap out of Firewoman and bring his title back to me. <Selena reverts back to being a little girl for just a second and sticks her tongue out at Fire. Fire has to be restrained from getting up and coming after her.> Thank you all.
<Selena leaves the stage and heads back to the table just beaming. She makes a wide circle around Fire’s table though. When she gets back, she hugs Poe again and sits down staring at her award.>
GMtR: They grow up so fast, don’t they? Seem like only yesterday she was just an innocent little teen. Wait, I think that WAS yesterday. <crowd chuckles> Ok, keeping things moving along, our next award is for Gimmick of the Year. I have explained this before, but the producers tell me I have to say it again. A gimmick is what makes a good wrestler great. It can be the thing that makes them stand out above the rest, something that the fans can latch onto and cheer, or boo. Here to present Gimmick of the Year….Ladies and Gentlemen…..Canada’s own, Lance Storm!
<Storm gets a nice ovation from the crowd>
LS: I was sitting at home in Calgary…….Alberta………Canada <cheap pop> when GM the Rick called and asked me if I wanted to present this award. At first I thought it was a little bit of an odd award for me to present, but then I got to thinking, I may be the PERFECT example of what a gimmick can do to help, and hurt, your career. When I debuted in WCW, my gimmick was that I was an excellent Canadian wrestler, collecting titles and giving them Canadian names. It got me over nicely, and I had a great run. Then I went to the WWF, WWE, whatever they were calling themselves at the time, and my gimmick was…….being boring. It crushed any momentum I had, and essentially rocketed me down the card. So, a word of warning, your gimmick can make you, and it can break you. Let’s take a look at the nominees for Gimmick of the Year
V: The nominees for Gimmick of the Year are: Davin and Moreland – Davin Moreland and Savior Eco – Ecosystem.
LS: The winner of the 2010 Gimmick of the Year is……..Savior Eco – Ecosystem!
<the crowd roars as Ecosystem gets to his feet. He thanks Tyler Vangarde specifically, then the rest of the members of whatever is left of DELIVERS. As he is walking to the podium, Eco stops by Tytan’s table and they look at one another for a long time before Eco leaves and heads to the stage. Eco takes the award from Storm and shakes his hand then turns and faces the audience. He takes a moment to collect himself then he speaks>
Eco: I don’t know if I should be honored, or insulted, to win this award. <crowd murmurs> There is part of me that resents me saving the OOWF and the members of the OOWF as being a gimmick. When I came back, when I had the epiphany that I could do more, I realized that I was the one who could save the OOWF. I could save those who have strayed. I can bring you salvation. You may call it a gimmick, you may accuse me of living the gimmick, but the reality of it is this – I am here to do one thing. My name is Junichiro Muyo, and I WILL save you.
<Eco walks back to his table and everyone applauds him. GM the Rick comes back to the stage and looks a little confused>
GMtR: Ok then. That was short and sweet. Does anyone know what our concussion policy is here in the OOWF?
Voice From the Back: We don’t have one!
GMtR: Oh. Huh. Well, maybe we should have that looked into. I think Eco may have suffered a few too many shots to the head. Anyway, moving on to our next award. Our next award is Catchphrase of the Year. Catchphrase is similar to a gimmick in the regard that it can get you over. Of course, it can also turn against you when you beat people over the head with it a million times a night, I am looking at YOU Rock and Austin! Here to present Catchphrase of the Year…..does this guy even HAVE a catchphrase? Oh well, it doesn’t matter. Here to present Catchphrase of the Year……Sheamus!
<former WWE World Heavyweight Champion, and from what we are told constantly, the ONLY Irish-born WWE champion in history, Sheamus makes his way to the podium, the lights are quickly dimmed to avoid blinding everyone in the audience>
S: Ya betta watch yaself fella. Oi don need some fancy catchphrase, I am ta Celtic Waryar! An don’ tink for a second tat I have fargotten what tat lump Seamus did ta me. On ta other tings tough. A catchphrase is somtin I didn’t need, but some, like John Cena, do. I am te greatest Irish wrestler ta ever step foot in tat ring. My catchphrase is me two fists. Now, b’fore I get all worked up an come out tere and drop someone on ter head, lets hear ta nominees
V: The nominees for Catchphrase of the Year are: I am Alexander Darling, and well, you’re just not – Alexander Darling, and I’m Junichiro Muyo and I WILL Save You - Ecosystem
S: Really? Tat’s it? Watever, te award for Catchphrase of ta year goes to: Oim Junichiro Muyo an I WILL Save You – Ecosyst’m
<Eco gets out of his seat again and once again thanks Tyler, and once again stops by Tytan’s table and they stare one another down for a moment. Eco steps away and heads back to the podium. Sheamus hands Eco the award and starts to leave, but Eco puts a hand on his shoulder and stops him>
Eco: No, Sheamus, I want you to stay, I want you to hear what I have to say. <Eco looks at the award, then back to Sheamus> I want you to know that I love you.
S: Listen fella, I don’t roll like tat
Eco: Not like that. I love you like a brother. I love you like a lost soul who has come back to the flock. <Eco looks out at the crowd> My words are not just an empty promise. Much like what I do is not a gimmick, what I say is not a catchphrase either. I mean it when I say I will save each and every one of you. And if that means being buried alive at Hell On Earth tomorrow, so be it. When I rise again, you will all see that I am Junichiro Muyo, and I WILL save you.
<Eco leaves the stage and heads back to his seat. Suddenly Sheamus seems to be very aware that he is still standing there and GM the Rick is standing next to him giving him that look. Sheamus turns and quickly walks off the stage.>
GMtR: Quite the odd bird that one. And Sheamus is kind of weird too. Ok, moving things along, our next award is for Finisher of the Year. Seriously, you are all wrestlers, I have to really explain what a FINISHER is to you? <blank stares from everyone in the audience> I deeply, and sincerely hate every single one of you. FINE! A finishing move is that signature move that goes along with things like Gimmick and Catchphrase in the makeup of a wrestler. A good finisher can get you over just as much as any catchphrase, any gimmick, the best physique, whatever. Does that satisfy all of you now? <more blank stares> Assholes. Here to present Finisher of the Year is……SERIOUSLY? ARE YOU SHITTING ME? Fuck me, fuck my life, and fuck whoever decided THIS was a good idea. Here to present Finisher of the Year……”The Viper” “The Apex Predator” Randy Orton
<the OOWF crowd kind of cheers, but ends up booing more than cheering as Orton walks out with the WWE title slung over his shoulder. Orton takes a long time looking at the crowd, either deciding what to say or trying to remember what to say. Either way, it takes him a long time to speak>
RO: I came here……..to present……an award. Not just……any award, but the award for Finisher…..Of….The…..Year. There is NO ONE……better to give this award than……me. When I coil to strike……there is NO ONE who can escape……the…..viper…..and the R…..K…..O. Now……lets hear the nominees for…..finisher…..of…..the……year.
V: The nominees for Finisher of the Year are the Darling Driver, by Alexander Darling and A Really Good Diamond Cutter by Davin Moreland
RO: The winner of….Finisher……of……the……year is…….Really Good…..Diamond…..Cutter, Davin……….Moreland
<The crowd cheers, and Davin gets to his feet and heads to the podium. He takes the award from Randy Orton, and they stare at one another for a long time. Davin is about to speak when Orton steps in front of him and speaks>
RO: You know…..truth be told……this award should go……to……me. <boos> The Really Good…..Diamond…..Cutter is nothing more than a poor rip off of the R……..K………O.
DM: Is that a fact
RO: That……is a…….fact
DM: Well then……..<Davin grabs Randy Orton and DRIVES him to the floor with a RGDC! The crowd roars their approval at this. Moreland stands over him and talks some trash over the prone Orton then grabs the mic>
DM: Don’t you EVER…..EVER compare your shitty RKO to the RGDC. EVER! The man who gets credit for the RGDC is the one, the only, “Diamond” Dallas Page <Davin points to the audience where DDP is sitting at his table> The RGDC has proven that it is, without a doubt, THE most devastating move in the OOWF. Winning this award for the third time in four years proves that. Chad, Zane, I love you guys like brothers, but tomorrow night, one, or both, of you is going to feel the….<looks at DDP> BANG! Of the RGDC!
<Moreland walks off the stage and heads back to his table where he and DDP share a manly hug of mutual respect. On the stage, GM the Rick looks down at a prone Randy Orton and takes a long drink from his flask, then calls out security and has then drag Orton to the back>
GMtR: You know, its things like that that makes me hate all of you just a little less. Next up, we have one of my personal favorite awards, Promo of the Year. As many of you know, promo skills can be just as important in ring skills. We have seen many wrestlers come and go that were proficient in the ring, but couldn’t cut a promo to save their lives. For the most part, those guys are gone. Promos are as integral to a wrestler as anything, it advances the story you are in, without that, it becomes one gigantic clusterfuck and nothing goes anywhere. So, without further delay, here to present Promo of the Year are…..
<GM the Rick is interrupted by The Chickenshit Heels, who come out and put their hand over the microphone before Rick can announce who is presenting the award. AA takes the mic and SPEAKS!>
AA: Now that we are the HALL OF FAME Chickenshit Heels, and the best damn promo team of all time, I think it is only right, and fair, that we present this award.
JA: In fact, if there were any true justice in this world, the OOWF Promo of the Year would be, from here on out, known as the Chickenshit Heels Promo of the Year Award
AA: That is a damn fine idea Johnny. Now, the nominees for the Chickenshit Heels Promo of the Year Award are……VOICE!
V: The nominees for OOWF Promo of…..
JA: EXCUSE ME?
V: SHUT THE FUCK UP JOHNNY! <the crowd roars> The nominees for OOWF Promo of the Year are: Firewoman and Ravenna Shower Brawl, Firewoman’s Wedding and Ecosystem: Where I’m From
JA: The winner of the CHICKENSHIT HEELS PROMO OF THE YEAR AWARD……..
Crowd: SHUT THE FUCK UP JOHNNY!
<Adrenaline has a temper tantrum, takes his jacket off and elbow drops it, blades, then gets it tangled around his feet, falls to the floor and taps out>
AA: The winner is……ECOSYSTEM – WHERE I’M FROM!
<The crowd cheers as Ecosystem makes his way AGAIN to the stage. We have the awkward moment with Tytan, again, and this time Tytan appears to be getting a little tired of it. He starts to get out of his seat, but Damon Wrath stops him. Eco smirks and heads to the stage where he shakes AA’s hand and frees a bloody Johnny Adrenaline from the evil clutches of Sport Jacket. AA consoles his partner as they walk away, Johnny breaks away from AA and comes back and attacks Sport Jacket, getting a few more shots in on it before AA pulls him away. Medics, and a tailor, come out to check on Sport Jacket. Eco speaks>
Eco: A lot is known about my wrestling career, everyone knows I started the OOWF, that I formed the Establishment, I wanted people to know about the real Ecosystem and a little bit about where I am from. I didn’t do it for attention, I didn’t do it for pity, I did it so you would understand that when I talk about salvation, when I talk about being saved, I speak the truth. I was redeemed, I was saved. I will do that for each, and every one of you. I am Junichiro Muyo, and I WILL save you. All of you.
<Eco leaves the stage, he gets a nice ovation from the crowd, though they seem to be a little tired of hearing that they will all be saved, whether they want to be or not. Eco takes his seat behind his three awards and GM the Rick comes back out onto the stage, as he is walking out he is yelling something to one of the production assistants>
GMtR:……..I DON’T CARE what Hall of Fame they are in, I don’t want them out here again! You hear me? Now I have to deal with the Pope! He is going to accuse me of being racist! <Rick suddenly realizes that people are staring at him so he composes himself> Ok, yeah, um moving right along. We are up to Feud of the Year. There is a lot of hate in wrestling. Hate leads to matches, matches lead to feuds. The OOWF is no stranger to epic feuds, we have had our fair share of them, and this year is certainly no different. Here to present the award for OOWF Feud of the Year……this again? We tried this last year and it failed miserably. Fine. Let’s do it again. Here to present the award for OOWF Feud of the Year……Tommy Dreamer and Raven!
<Everyone cheers as Dreamer and Raven come out to the podium. Dreamer motions for Raven to take the mic first, but Raven backs off and lets him have the spotlight first. The cheers die down and Dreamer speaks>
TD: You know, when I said what I said about TNA being a tribute to ECW, I meant that. What I could have just as easily said was that TNA was a tribute to the OOWF. <the crowd roars> You guys may not operate on the grand stage of WWE or even TNA, but I have talked to the boys…..and women…..in the back, and I know each and every one of you would have fit right into ECW. You all get it, you all get what it is like to bleed, to sweat, to……<Dreamer breaks down and cries, he backs off and Raven takes the mic>
R: Seriously Tommy, can you not make it through a SINGLE promo without crying? Look, I agree with Dreamer, you guys get it, you get the desire to be the best. With that desire comes feuds, they may start innocently enough, but every now and then, something happens, they become personal, they become something with a life of their own. When that happens, a feud becomes something more. We had plenty of those in ECW, and I see them here in the OOWF as well. So, let’s get a rundown of the candidates for feud of the year
V: The nominees for Feud of the Year are: Poe & Stank vs. Texpress, Alexander Darling vs. Firewoman and Alexander Darling vs. The Quinns
R: The winner of OOWF Feud of the Year is……<looks at the card> This one was one of my all time favorites too……ALEXANDER DARLING vs. THE QUINNS!
<Alex and Fire get up and head to the podium, Moose gets up from his separate table and makes his way up there as well. Fire takes great pains to make sure she is between Moose and Alex the whole time, she speaks first>
FW: You know this feud was never supposed to happen. Alex and I were never supposed to be across the ring from one another. Somehow, things just got a bit out of control and……well it came to this. This is bittersweet for me, on one hand, it almost cost me something I value a lot, on the other hand <looking at the OOWF World Heavyweight Title on her shoulder> it got me the title.
<Darling takes the mic, Moose just glares at him>
AD: This feud was only supposed to be between Fire and I. This was something that was a long time in the making to determine which of us was the better wrestler. Firewoman won, and I don’t hesitate to say that, for our match, she was the better wrestler. In all honesty, Alexander Darling vs. Firewoman should be the feud of the year. Moose, you had no business getting involved in this.
<Moose snatches the mic from Darling and seems barely under control>
MHJ: You know Darling, every time you open your mouth, it is like nails on a chalkboard. If my memory serves me right, and it does, I WOULDN’T have got involved in your feud with Fire had you not crossed a line and kidnapped her. <Moose is getting angrier and angrier, Fire glares at him and mouths ‘you promised” Moose calms slightly> I am not going to do anything right now, but I promise you this, at some point, our paths will cross again, and when they do, what I do will make what happened in Japan look like a WWE PG show.
<the three of them turn to leave, Fire leaves with Alex, Moose leaves on his own. Moose passes Dreamer, who is still crying and being consoled by Raven. Moose just shakes his head and heads back to his table. GM the Rick comes back out, passing Dreamer and Raven and giving them an odd look>
GMtR: That boy cries over everything anymore, doesn’t he? Ok, back to the show. I have been around wrestling for a long time, and while most of that has been watching wrestling, I have seen enough to know that there is nowhere else in the world, no other fed in the WORLD, in the history of EVER that puts on the consistently great matches that the OOWF does, I can say that without a bit of hesitation.
<the crowd cheers Rick for this>
GMtR: In the last year, we have seen some fantastic matches, and while there are probably a dozen that I think COULD win this award, only two that actually made the final vote. Here to present the award for OOWF Match of the Year is a man who knows a thing or two about being in great matches ladies and gentlemen, The Best there Is, the Best there Was, the Best there Ever Will Be…..Bret “The Hitman” Hart!
<The crowd roars – except for Davin Moreland – as Bret walks out to the mic>
BH: You know, every match I have ever been in, I have set out to be the best of my career. Sometimes that works, but most of the time it fails. Sometimes you just don’t click with the person you are working with, sometimes it’s a nagging injury keeping you from doing things as well as you want. My dad always told me that as long as you went out there and intended to give your best, it really didn’t matter if it WAS your best. All you can do is the best you can do. I have watched a lot of OOWF, and I have seen a lot of great, great matches from the men and women here. You guys have it all, from out of control brawls <camera pans to Moose/Stank and Drink & Destroy> to classic matches of pure wrestling ability <camera pans to fellow Canadian LD Williams> It is my honour to present the OOWF Match of the Year. Let’s get the nominees
V: The nominees for OOWF match of the Year are: Firewoman vs. Alexander Darling – 60 Minute Iron Person Match for the OOWF World Heavyweight Title and Bryce Larson vs. Chris Evans – Steel Cage Match
BH: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of OOWF Match of the Year is…….we have a TIE!
<Evans, Larson, Firewoman and Alexander Darling all come to the podium and get their awards from Bret Hart and exchange handshakes. Evans takes the mic first>
CE: I am proud of my match with Bryce, even if I am not necessarily proud of what I had to do to win that match. It’s an honor to be recognized by your peers, especially in match of the year. Thank you.
BL: I have had a lot of matches over the years and none of them measured up to the intensity and violence of this match. There are sometimes matches that are so outstanding that they launch the careers of the winner……and the loser…..into the stratosphere. That is what this match is going to do for Bryce Larson. Thank you.
<Larson hands the mic to Darling, then takes his spot behind Darling and Fire, eyeing Evans the whole time.>
AD: I knew, when this match was made, that it would be the perfect opportunity for Fire and I to show what we could do. Without meaning to sound arrogant, I already knew I was among the best wrestlers in the world. After that match, Fire proved that she too belongs in the pantheon of great wrestlers alive today.
<the crowd applauds Darling, though we do see Moose rolling his eyes and shaking his head at Darling. Finally Fire takes the mic>
FW: I have never let being a woman in a male dominated sport slow me down one bit. I have never used it as an excuse, I have never relied on that as a crutch. When I started here, I wanted to be more than eye candy. I wanted to be more than a diva side show attraction. I wanted to compete alongside the men and be accepted as one of them. When I got the chance to face Alex in this Iron Person match, I knew this would be the ultimate test of my skills. The fact that I won, cements that I can hold my own, and win, against anyone in the world, and that I am not afraid to go toe to toe with anyone <Fire glares at Poe as she says this>
<the four shake hands, Bryce and Evans somewhat reluctantly, and they all take their seats. GM the Rick comes back out to the stage>
GMtR: Let’s keep this thing moving right along, shall we? Our next award is Angle of the Year. Now, for those of you not sure what and angle is, well then I suspect you are in the wrong business. An angle is an overarching story that we want to tell that is aided by matches and promos. All sounds very technical right?
<at this point Kayfabe wanders onto the stage, bloody and staggering>
GMtR: Seriously? Mrs. Drama Queen, you can leave now.
<Kayfabe straightens up, wipes the blood off, and storms off the stage to the back>
GMtR: Anyway, here to present Angle of the Year is none other than the only Olympic Gold Medal Winner in wrestling, Kurt Angle!
<Angle walks out and shakes GM the Rick’s hand. The OOWF crowd gives him a standing ovation. As it dies down, Angle begins to speak>
KA: The Main Event Mafia, Team Angle, the Invasion. Those were some of the great angles in recent wrestling history. I am proud to have been part of all of them, and I would like to think that me being part of them made them a little more special. A great angle can launch careers, a great angle can pique interest in an entire company. The nWo angle probably saved WCW. A good angle is not something that is easy to think of, even if it is right there in front of you. I won an Olympic gold medal with a broken freakin neck. I turned that into an angle throughout my career, and it has helped me tremendously. Whether this year’s angle of the year does that for the winner remains to be seen. For now, let’s get the nominees for Angle of the Year
V: The nominees for Angle of the Year are: The Formation of the Five and Firewoman’s Wedding
KA: And the winner of Angle of the Year is…….FIREWOMAN’S WEDDING!
<Fire gets to her feet and starts to the podium, Alexander Darling gets up and starts that way, but one glare from Fire and he backs off and sits back down. The camera pans to Moose and we see that he is quietly seething. Fire gets to the podium and shakes hands with Angle, then they share a hug of mutual respect. Angle backs off and Fire speaks>
FW: I really don’t know what to say. I guess I am a walking advertisement to what alcohol can do to a person. <the crowd laughs, well, except for Moose> The funny thing is, none of this was planned, I intended to marry Jericho and take my life from there. Then, alcohol intervened and…..well this is where we are now. I really don’t know what else to say about it, since it is a work in progress, so I will just say thank you to all of you.
<Fire takes her award and sits down, Darling gives her a funny look and she must be able to feel her brother staring a hole in the back of her head because she turns around and gives him a look. GM the Rick comes back out to the stage and we cut away from them and focus on GM the Rick again>
GMtR: Now, we move into what I consider the meat of the awards. Everything up until this enhances a wrestler, or helps the product. From here on, it is on the wrestlers themselves. Our first award is for the Breakthrough Star of the Year, or the Rookie of the Year. Each year we have a crop of new wrestlers in the OOWF, some hang around and become the superstars of the future, some fade into oblivion unable to handle the rigors of the OOWF. Make no mistake about it, what all of you do is not an easy life to choose. The rigors of our schedule, the physical toll it takes on your body is nothing to be taken lightly. A new tradition I would like to begin in the OOWF is the previous winner of the Breakthrough Star/Rookie of the Year to present it to the following year’s winner. So, ladies and gentlemen, here to present the Breakthrough Star/Rookie of the Year Award for 2010, your very own, “Lionheart” Chris Evans
<Evans walks out onto the stage and his peers give him a rousing ovation. Evans grins as he soaks in the cheers. They finally die down and he speaks>
CE: I was honored to win this award last year. Coming into the OOWF is not an easy thing. This is a close-knit community and everyone is very protective of the other. Being the new guy is never easy, and it was no different here. It takes time to find your place in the pecking order, it takes time to figure out everyone’s habits, and what to do and what not to do. With all that on your mind, you still try to go out there and perform at your best. I was very lucky to have a group of fellow wrestlers to come in with, we all joined at about the same time, and we could all go through the growing pains together. I feel like I am not a part of the OOWF, which is something I am more proud of than anything else I have achieved in my life.
<round of applause for Evans>
CE: Now, let’s get the nominees for Breakthrough Star/Rookie of the Year
V: The nominees for Breakthrough Star/Rookie of the Year are: “The Crusher” Stan Fulton and Ravenna Blue
CE: And the winner of Breakthrough Star/Rookie of the Year is….this makes me proud….RAVENNA BLUE!
<Ravenna gets to her feet and gets hugs from Wrath and Tytan and makes her way to the stage. Evans meets her and they share a huge hug. Evans turns the mic over to Ravenna. Ravenna stands there for a moment while the cheers and applause gets louder and louder. For maybe the first time in her career, Ravenna seems to feel a little awkward being in front of people. Finally the applause dies down and Ravenna speaks>
RB: It is truly an honor to be recognized as the Breakthrough Star. I have said it before, but I don’t think she has listened to me. Now that I have her undivided attention, maybe she will hear what I am saying. <Ravenna stares right at Fire> Being a woman in this business is not easy. Most promoters want you to be eye candy and participate in fluff like pillow fights and lingerie matches. When GM the Rick approached me about signing with the OOWF, I made it very clear that I had no intentions of doing any of that. If I were to come to the OOWF, I wanted to be like Firewoman. I wanted to compete against the best and I wanted to be taken seriously. I believe that this award tells me that I am doing a good job so far, but I know I have a long way to go before I make it to Fire’s level. That’s ok, I like a good challenge. I won’t stop until I get there.
<The crowd roars their approval, and Ravenna starts to walk away, but then comes back to the mic>
RB: Oh, and before I forget, Stan Fulton, I may have won this award, but if it means anything to you, I think you have made one hell of an impact on the OOWF in your short time here. Had you showed up a few months earlier, I honestly believe you would have won the award this year. Thank you
<Ravenna joins Evans and they walk back to their table. Ravenna is BEAMING at winning the award. GM the Rick comes back out on the stage and the awards show continues>
GMtR: Well said Ravenna, well said. Ok moving along, up next is the Tag Team of the Year award. Now, contrary to what Vince McMahon believes, you cannot just toss two singles wrestlers together and expect to get a solid tag team. Being in a tag team requires dedication and a hell of a lot of training and timing. Not everyone makes a good tag team wrestler, it is a science, a science that Vince has been shitting on for years. I am proud to say that here in the OOWF, we value our tag team division. It is not a sideshow, it is not something for “main eventers” to do while they are out of the main event picture. It is a craft all unto its own, and I like to think that we pay some tribute to the great tag teams of the past like the Rock and Roll Express, the Midnight Express and the Road Warriors just to name a few. Here to present the OOWF Tag Team of the Year Award is……….
<once again, GM the Rick is interrupted, this time by Attitude Adjuster. AA comes out and stops Rick and takes the mic from him>
AA: Did you SEE what happened earlier?
GMtR: I saw you two assholes interrupt me and try to hijack the show
AA: NO! You saw my partner CALLOUSLY ATTACKED!
GMtR: He got tangled up in his sport jacket
AA: <taking the mic and turning to the crowd> I just came back from Johnny’s bedside. He is in the hospital. Honestly, I don’t know if he is going to make it. Before I left, Johnny……..Johnny said one thing, Johnny’s last wish was……..<dramatic pause> his last wish was for The Chickenshit Heels, the HALL OF FAME CHICKENSHIT HEELS to hand out the OOWF Chickenshit Heel Tag Team of the Year Award.
GMtR: HE GOT TANGLED IN HIS SPORTS COAT
AA: I can’t get the image of poor Johnny, lying there with all the tubes and machines…….it’s almost too much to bear!
GMtR: Oh for FUCKS SAKE, look, I have someone to give that award, and you already screwed Pope out of a paycheck. If I screw these guys over, I will never hear the end of it. So, ladies and gentlemen, here to present the OOWF Tag Team of the Year Award……Scott Hall and Kevin Nash……the OUTSIDERS!
<Hall and Nash come out, Hall looks remarkably sober, and Nash looks remarkably old. They go slowly, mostly so Nash doesn’t tear anything and finally get to the podium where AA is seething>
AA: THEM! WHAT DO THEY KNOW ABOUT TAG TEAM WRESTLING!
Hall: Hey yo……It sounds like the little man here has a problem with us being here
Nash: I am not sure “little man” is the right term Scotty. Look, AA, just run along. You are in the presence of greatness here. The Outsiders are the biggest thing to hit wrestling in……ever. I did this as a favor to Rick because, honestly, he agreed to put a little extra in my paycheck this week if you know what I mean
SH: So…..why don’t you take your little drama and head to the back with the rest of the washed up wrestlers that no one cares about anymore. <Scott Hall shoves AA and AA attacks, getting in a couple of good shots on Hall before Nash comes to his partners aid and they beat AA down. Surprisingly, there is no security to stop them. Nash grabs AA and sets him up for a power bomb, but the crowd begins to roar as a heavily bandaged JOHNNY ADRENALINE makes his return! He hobbles out onto the stage and CLIPS Nash from behind sending him to the floor! Johnny pulls brass knucks out of his bandaged arm and KO’S Nash! Adrenaline and Johnny pull Hall up and hit an ADRENALINE RUSH on the stage! Hall is DEAD! Johnny stands up and slowly pulls off all of the bandages.......... wait! He wasn’t in the hospital at all! OH MY GOD THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS SWERVED US AGAIN! Johnny takes the mic>
JA: And THIS is why we are the best damn team in OOWF history. Now, let’s hear the nominees for the OOWF Chickenshit Heel Tag Team of the Year Award
V: The nominees for OOWF Tag Te…..errr OOWF Chickenshit Heel Tag Team of the Year are: Texpress and Team Team
AA: Your winners are…….<smirking> a team we already beat……TEXPRESS
<Chad and Zane get up and head to the podium, but not before Davin comes up to them and congratulates them. Texpress get onto the stage and TCH back off while security drags Hall and Nash to the back>
CM: You know, the saddest day of my life was when Zane was sent home to get his head together. Even though I won the Onslaught Championship, it never felt right without Zane being there waiting for the tag on the apron
ZM: I had a little issue, but that is all cleared up now, and Texpress is back! We are putting all the teams in the OOWF on notice……<looking back at Johnny and AA> even you clowns, Texpress is back, and we fully intend to reclaim our spot as the top tag team in the OOWF.
CM: We are the measuring stick of tag team wrestling, and while other teams may be good, they simply don’t measure up.
ZM: You might want to think about renaming this award the OOWF Texpress Tag Team Championship Excellence Award, because we fully intend on winning this thing for as long as we darn well please
<Zane and Chad leave the podium while Johnny and AA have mini-Flair temper tantrums in the background before getting escorted to the back by security. GM the Rick comes back onto the stage finishing off a flask of whiskey>
GMtR: You know how much that is going to cost me? You know what I am going to have to PAY Kevin Nash? No, none of you do, and none of you care. Fine. Let’s just move along then. Next up is OOWF Heel of the Year. I really don’t know how much more to explain this one, a heel is someone who does bad things and revels in it. A heel is someone the fans hate, someone for the faces to swear that they are going to rid the OOWF of. Without a good heel to vanquish, a face is kind of worthless. So, here to present the OOWF Heel of the Year Award……”The Game” Triple H!
<HHH’s music plays and old school heel HHH comes out, complete with leather jacket and denim vest. HHH is carrying his sledgehammer. He pauses next to the podium and does his water spit. The OOWF audience gives him a round of applause, but they are certainly not gushing all over themselves at HHH’s presence>
HHH: When GM the Rick called me and asked me to come down here and present this award, I thought back to what went down at the OOWF vs. WWE show back in July. My first thought was to come here tonight and beat the hell out of Rick, and anyone else that wanted a piece of the Game. But then, I thought about it a little more, and hey, let’s face it, we are the WWE, the most powerful wrestling organization in the world, hell we are the New York Yankees of the wrestling world. We can do whatever the hell we want, whenever the hell we want, and if some little pissant fed wants to decide to show us up, we can either crush them, or just laugh it off as a pathetic attempt to get some free publicity. Now, all I am gonna say is all of you are DAMN lucky I wasn’t there that night, or there would have been hell to pay. Now…..since I am a nice guy and all, let’s get the nominees for Heel of the Year:
V: The nominees for OOWF Heel of the Year are: Ecosystem, Stank and Moosehead Jack
HHH: And the winner is….<chuckling> figures, MOOSEHEAD JACK
<Moose gets to his feet and heads to the podium, completely ignoring everyone around him. Moose gets there, but HHH isn’t done talking>
HHH: So what’s the deal with you Moose? Huh? You walk around here all big and bad, then you call some girl Mouse. Oh, yeah, and don’t think I forgot what you did to Cena and Orton, I may not like them, but they are MY boys.
<HHH and Moose go nose to nose and HHH slowly takes the sledgehammer off his shoulder and holds it up between them. Moose smirks and backs off a little and asks for the mic>
MHJ: You know Trips…..I can call you Trips, right? <not waiting for an answer> You made some good points earlier. You WEREN’T here for the OOWF vs. WWE card, and why was that? Oh yeah, because you were hurt…..again…….conveniently. The fact is, you weren’t hurt at all, were you? You were afraid. You were afraid that you would get the same as your boys Cena and Orton. Tell me Trips, what was going through your mind when LD and I made Cena and Orton bleed like stuck pigs? <again, not waiting for an answer, but now HHH is shaking with rage like he tends to do> You know, despite all that, it was one thing you said earlier that REALLY got my attention….
<Moose SLAMS HHH in the face with a head butt, dropping him to the floor>
MHJ: I FUCKING HATE THE YANKEES!
<Moose grabs Happy DethBat from beneath the podium where Mahoney was keeping it safe for him and proceeds to BEAT THE HELL out of HHH leaving him a bloody mess. Moose stops and looks out at the stunned OOWF crowd. He sees a furious GM the Rick headed in his direction. Moose puts the bat across his shoulder and grabs his award and walks off the stage to the back laughing maniacally. Medics come out and help a very bloody HHH to the back>
GMtR: Another fucking phone call for me to make, I fucking hate him. <Rick doesn’t even bother with the flask, he turns a fifth of whiskey up and takes a long slug> Ahh. Ok, maybe THIS segment will be a little more pleasant. It certainly couldn’t go much worse. Ok, you know everything I said about heels? Well just the opposite is true about faces. A face is someone who does good things and revels in it. A face is someone who the fans love, someone for the heels to threaten violence and destruction against. Without a good face to threaten, a heel is kind of worthless. So, here to present the OOWF Face of the Year Award, TNA’s own, Mr. Anderson!
<Anderson comes out and the crowd cheers him. GM the Rick tries to hand him the mic, but Anderson shakes it off and thanks him anyway. Anderson stands behind the podium and a spotlight appears on him. He holds out his hand and a mic descends from the ceiling right into his hand>
MA: Thank you Sting. Ladies and Gentlemen here to present the OOWF award for Face of the Year is none other than the HAIC, Head Asshole In Charge, MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTER AAAAAAAAAAAAANDERSON
<dramatic pause>
MA: Anderson. Now, I was asked here tonight to present this award, not because I am a great wrestler, not because I can cut a great promo, though, let’s face it, I am pretty damn awesome at that. No, I was asked to come here to present this award because the fans fricken LOVE me. And I totally get it, when the fans cheer you, it’s a RUSH! I get what they were talking about when they said getting booed is fun, but getting cheered is FRICKIN AWESOME! So……let’s get this moving along. Voice…….how bout you give me a list of the nominees for Face of the Year sweetheart
V: The nominees for OOWF Face of the Year are: Alexander Darling and Ravenna Blue
MA: and the winner of OOWF Face of the Year is……<dramatic pause> a TIE!
<Darling and Ravenna both look surprised, but probably for different reasons. Ravenna gets to the podium first and offers Darling a handshake when he gets there, he accepts it, but not eagerly. They both accept congratulations from Anderson. Ravenna gets to speak first>
RB: This is really an honor to win this award. I tried to do things the right way all year long. I had a goal with Sanctum, then with Valor, do things the right way in the OOWF. I wanted to prove that you can win without resorting to mindless violence and bloodshed. It is not an easy road, but the fans are behind us, so I know we can do it. This award tells me that some of you agree, the OOWF doesn’t need to be about blood and violence, we have some of the best wrestlers in the world here, we can show more skill with a leg lock than a sledgehammer. Thank you
<Ravenna gets a nice cheer from the crowd and Alex steps to the mic.>
AD: Really. Did you ever think you would see the day when Alexander Darling won the Face of the Year award? I never set out to win it, things just fell in place. First, I decided to take the world title from Poe. Once again, I proved that I am Alexander Darling, and well, Poe is just not. And the fans cheered. I defended this title each and every week against kids who hadn’t had their shot yet. And the fans cheered. Then, the Quinn’s came after me. I fought tooth and nail against two of the most blood-thirsty wrestlers in the world. And the fans cheered. After awhile, I have to admit, hearing the fans cheer is kind of nice. It is a nice pick up in a match, it is something I never thought I would hear again. In the end, this is another bit of recognition, this just goes with everything else that makes me Alexander Fucking Darling, and everyone else, well, they’re just not. Thank you.
<Alex and Ravenna head to their tables. GM the Rick comes back out, not even bothering with a flask anymore, he just pounds on a full fifth of whiskey>
GMtR: Ok, you all still with me? We have come to the end….<Rick stumbles into a half drunken Jim Morrison impression, which would be a half way good Jim Morrison impression> this is the end, my only friend the end……anyway, we come to the final award of the evening, the OOWF Wrestler of the Year award. Winning this award means that you are considered, by your peers, as the best all-around wrestler in the OOWF this year, and honestly, this is an award that should not be taken lightly. Therefore, we spared no expense to bring in, the one, the only, the LEGEND, the NATURE BOY RIC FLAIR to present the 2010 OOWF Wrestler of the Year Award!
<2010 a Space Odyssey plays and Ric Flair walks out onto the stage. Everyone in the OOWF stands and gives him a thunderous ovation, showing their respect to the living legend. Flair soaks it in for a moment, then motions for them to calm down and take their seats>
RF: You know, I know most of you out there in the audience, I have met you, I have talked to you. I know what you put yourselves through each and every night when you walk that aisle and go to the ring. And it is that, knowing that about all of you that makes your applause mean so much to me. I thank each and every one of you for what you do, and more importantly, what you represent in wrestling, heart, desire and the refusal to give anything less than your best. Thank you.
<huge roar of approval for this>
RF: In my career, I was often called one of the best wrestlers in the game. That compliment means more to me than anything else, especially coming from my peers. The thing of it is, without a good opponent, it doesn’t matter how good you are. The joke in the back was that Ric Flair could carry a broomstick to a five star match. Again, I appreciate that, but it always took a dance partner. You get someone else in that ring who knows what they are doing, and you can make magic baby!
<More cheers>
RF: To be singled out by your peers as the best…..it is a feeling like none other. I have been there for the birth of my children. I have been in churches older than time, I have been all over the world and seen things that no one else has seen and the FEELING that I got then……doesn’t even compare. It is an honor that few have bestowed on them, and tonight, we are going to add another name to the list of greats. Tonight, we are going to make someone’s legacy. Tonight, someone is named OOWF Wrestler of the Year…….let’s hear the nominations
V: The nominees for OOWF Wrestler of the Year are: Firewoman and Alexander Darling
RF: And the winner is <the camera focuses on the table that Fire and Alex are sitting at> ………….ALEXANDER DARLING!
<Darling gets to his feet, and Fire gets up and gives him a quick hug, then sits back down and looks slightly disappointed. The camera pans back to a bloody Moosehead Jack and he is just staring with death in his eyes as Darling heads to the stage. Darling takes the award from Ric Flair, shakes his hand and shares a manly hug of mutual respect. The crowd roars for Darling, except for Moose, who remains seated, glaring at Darling. Darling takes a few minutes to compose himself, then speaks>
AD: You know, when I decided to become a wrestler, I had to walk away from my family to do it. My parents expected me to follow in my father’s footsteps and be the CEO of a company, or a lawyer, or something prestigious and high powered. That was not the life I wanted. I left home and trained in ROH. I took my lumps, but I learned. I improved and honed my skills. I headed to Japan, determined to be the best. I got there and I took my lumps. I took a beating. Everyone knows my history with Poe. Everyone knows all the baggage that came from that. But I fought, I clawed, I worked my way to the top, determined to be the very best in the world.
Tonight <looking at the award> I can say that I have reached the top. I thought winning the OOWF World Heavyweight Title was the crowning achievement, but I was wrong. Winning this award, this cements me as one of the best. <Darling pauses, almost as if he is not sure if he wants to say what he is about to say> But I did not do it alone. Through the bravado of wrestling, thank you’s often go unspoken. So now is the time to say that. First, thank you to all the guys in Ring of Honor. I learned more from them than I thought possible. They pushed me to be better than I thought I could ever be. They saw something in me that I didn’t even see in myself. They forced me to be better.
Next, I would like to thank…..believe it or not……Poe. Poe, you and I have had our differences, and they are very well documented. You took me under your wing in Japan, and while I don’t agree with everything you did, much like the guys in Ring of Honor, your forced me to be better, even if that meant breaking away from you and facing you. I have to thank GM the Rick. He is another one that I may not always, well, ever, agree with, but he saw the potential in the Darlings. He saw what we did in Japan and he knew that bringing us here would only enhance the OOWF. He gave us a shot in the best fed in the United States, and for that, I will always be grateful.
There are so many others, Davin, Chad, Zane, everyone associated with Run DEA. We were the first, we were the best. That picture of us with the titles hangs in my office. It means as much to me as any title I have ever won. I was part of something that reached the pinnacle of the OOWF, the most dominant group of wrestlers ever assembled. And finally……..I have to thank Moosehead Jack. <the crowd gasps at this, the camera pans to Moose and he still has a look of pure rage in his eyes. Moose is gripping the side of the table, and looks like it is about to snap> I have to thank Moosehead Jack for having such a wonderful sister. <Moose snaps and springs up from the table. Stank and LD Williams manage to grab him before he can charge the stage. They wrestle him to the ground.> Fire, you and I came up together, we trained together, we traveled Japan together. Now, even though the circumstances may not have been ideal, we ARE together. And I thank you the most. <the camera pans to Fire who looks…..happy?> Finally, thank you to all the OOWF wrestlers. I know it was a close vote, and Firewoman could have just as easily won this. But enough of you believe that I am the best, and that means a lot to me. Thank you, all of you.
<the crowd gives Darling a standing ovation, except for Moose. Moose is sitting in a chair trembling with rage. The camera pans around the crowd and we see everyone standing, then back up to Darling who actually looks legitimately humbled by the experience. The cheers continue as we fade to black.>
***OOC***
This has been an especially challenging year for me. As many of you may know, my wife and I separated last September, just around this time. I had some issues with what was probably a nervous breakdown, and just had a lot of shit going on in my head that wasn’t very good for a long time. Through it all though, the OOWF was the one constant that I could look forward to. I want to thank everyone who helped with writing, or ideas, or anything else through the year. Without you guys (and ladies) I am certain the OOWF would have ceased this year. I was just in no shape to keep it going. I owe it all to you guys, and I thank you all so very much. Here’s hoping we can keep this going for another year! Thanks again
-Moose-
Past Winners[/u]
Wrestler of the Year
2010 – Alexander Darling
2009 - Poe
2008 - Stank
2007 – Stank
2006 – Thim Reynolds
2005 – Donovan Viper
Tag Team of the Year
2010 - Texpress
2009 - kz
2008 – Phantos & Lucios
2007 – The Chickenshit Heels
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels
2005 – 3Piece Set
Face of the Year
2010 – (tie) Ravenna Blue & Alexander Darling
2009 - Ecosystem
2008 – (tie) Concrete TG and Phantos & Lucios
2007 – Firechild
2006 – Capellan
2005 – Hardbody Harris
Heel of the Year
2010 – Moosehead Jack
2009 - Firewoman
2008 – Eric O’Mac
2007 – Stank
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels
2005 – Donovan Viper
Breakthrough Star of the Year
2010 – Ravenna Blue
2009 – Chris Evans
2008 - Firewoman
2007 – Voltage
2006 – The Halfrican Americans
2005 – (tie) Firechild & Capellan
Match of the Year
2010 – (tie) Firewoman vs. Alexander Darling – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Iron Person Match - OOWF Blood Bath in Paradise 3 & Chris Evans vs.BryceLarson – Steel Cage Match –OOWF Judgment Eve 5
2009 – kz vs. The Team From Down Under – MidWeek Mayhem 5/20
2008 – OOWF Jobber Gauntlet
2007 - The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy – Unsanctioned Match
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. The Devil’s Brigade vs. wCw – Bamboo Scaffold Match
2005 – Canadian Dragon vs. UnderDawg – Ultimate Hell
Feud of the Year
2010 - Alexander Darling vs. The Quinns
2009 – Firewoman vs. Tytan
2008 – Moosehead Jack vs. Alexander Darling
2007 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2005 – Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
Angle of the Year
2010 – Firewoman’s Wedding
2009 – The Rise and Fall of Run DEA
2008 – Team Rick Goes to Jail
2007 – (tie) DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Championship & Drink & Destroy vs. The Heroes Guild
2006 – The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy
2005 – Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG
Promo of the Year
2010 – Where I’m From - Ecosystem
2009 – The OOWF Goes Hollywood - Stank
2008 – A History of The Chickenshit Heels
2007 – Drink & Destroy Genealogy Promo
2006 – OOWF Airplane Ride From Hell
2005 – Donovan Viper’s Promo Before Dance of Death
Finisher of the Year
2010 – Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland
2009 – Crucifix Bomb - Poe
2008 – Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland
2007 – (tie)A Really Good Diamond Cutter – Davin Moreland & Intentional Disqualification – The Chickenshit Heels
2006 – Call of the Wild – The Team From Down Under
2005 – The Chomp – GatorBait
Catchphrase of the Year
2010 – I’m Junichiro Muyo, and I WILL Save You - Ecosystem
2009 – Work Smarter, Not Harder - Ecosystem
2008 - HA! – Eric O’Mac
2007 - Shut the Fuck Up Johnny – FF Capslock
2006 - Shut the Fuck Up Johnny – FF Capslock
2005 - Trust Me – Moosehead Jack
Gimmick of the Year
2010 – Eco the Savior
2009 – Tytan: DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion
2008 – Rabbxt Becomes Bunny
2007 – “Cowboy” Johnny Adrenaline
2006 – The New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000
2005 – Donovan Viper
NPC (Non-Player Character) of the Year
2010 - Selena
2009 - Selena
2008 – (tie) Carl From Fresno & Alexis Darling
2007 – No Award Given
2006 – Missy
2005 – Ric Flair