MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Zephyr, Ontario Canada!
Special Monday edition of MidWeek Mayhem!
The arena goes dark as Orgy's version of "Blue Monday" plays. The crowd goes nuts as Canadian Dragon walks through the entrance! [/b]
Ross: What a shocking turn we have! Canadian Dragon is back!
Razz: Not only is he back Ross, but he’s walking this way.
Ross: What is this all about?
Dragon grabs a headset and sits down beside Razz.
CD: It seems The Rick has decided not to accept my medical release, so for now the OOWF has a 3-man announce team.
Ross: This is a shocking turns of events!
Razz: I know, Ross. I’m shocked! I really don’t know what to say!
CD: Good, then you can shut up and the show can start!
Ross: Up first we have a match JUST ADDED! Hardbody Harris and Beast have a score to settle! This match will not be for those of you with weak stomachs or young children.
CD: I’m not sure anything that Hardbody does is for the kids.
Razz: Yeah, I mean did you hear about him and 5 of Canada’s finest?
CD: Hardbody with the Mounties? I think you’re talking about Viper there Razz!
Ross: Back on subject, our next match feature The Beast vs. Hardbody Harris.
Razz: My god, these two have been through everything to get to each other. And I mean that literally in Beast case!
CD: I’ve been in the ring with both of these guys…and I can say for a fact that this match will not disappoint.
HARDBODY HARRIS vs. BEAST Beast (possessed by Hardbody’s spirit) and Harris (possessed by Beast’s spirit) stand at opposite corners of the ring. The ref calls for the bell, and the match starts. Both men are hesitant to move towards each other, and they both have an odd gleam in one another’s eye. Finally, Hardbody rushes towards Beast and tackles him to the ground, but while on the mat flips himself to the bottom. Ref counts 1, 2, then Beast gets up. Beast points to his head knowingly and mouths something like, “Ah, I get it. Let’s go.” Beast makes his way to Hardbody and lifts him up for a vertical suplex, but instead of falling backwards, he drops Hardbody right on top of him! Shoulders are down, and the ref gets another two count before Hardbody pulls up his opponent. Crowd is slightly confused, and so is the ref. Both men get back to their feet and feel each other out. Beast gets a smile on his face and asks Hardbody for a test of strength. Hardbody looks warily at Beast, but nods his head and raises his right hand. Beast raises his left hand to meet his, fingers wiggling in anticipation of the match up. Their hands meet, and immediately Beast drops to his knees and taps out with his right hand! Ref has no choice but to ring the bell. The crowd boos and calls Beast a pussy as he rolls out of the ring and smiles up the ramp. Hardbody is pissed in the ring.
WINNER in 3:29 by submission: Hardbody Harris
Razz: Did you see that? Hardbody beat Beast!
CD: Damn it! Now I all owe Fieval an all cheese sub!
Razz: Well as our good friend Ric Flair would say, “Eat Fresh Fat Boy…WOOOOO!”
Ross: Something tells me that this feud is not over though.
CD: You’re right about that Ross. Beast will not be happy with this lost. But since I could care less about Beast, let’s move on to the next match. I have to say I’m not sure what to make of Phil. Is he a pirate or a robot?
Razz: I think he’s both!
Ross: One thing we know from Phil’s debut last week is that he likes BRAINS!
CD: Well then Razz over here is safe.
MR. JEALOUS vs. PHILThis is a rematch from last week’s Midweek Mayhem. Jealous is in the ring first, Phil makes his way to the ring, a sort of dazed look on his face, his eyes dart around a lot and he keeps muttering BRAINS to himself. Phil gets in the ring and wastes no time attacking Jealous, charging at him and backing him into a corner and letting loose a couple of chest rattling chops. Jealous slumps in the corner, Phil grabs him and whips him across the ring to the opposite corner then follows him in with a big splash. Phil won’t let Jealous fall out of the corner though, instead he screams BRAAAAAAAINS!!! and begins gnashing on Jealous forehead. Jealous screams in pain and claws at Phil’s eyes. Phil is undaunted and only seems to try and chew harder once the blood begins to flow. The referee finally gets between them and pushes Phil off of Jealous. Phil is a frightening sight, a five hundred pound man with a crazed look in his eyes and blood running from the corner of his mouth. Undaunted, Phil goes back to the corner and pulls Jealous to his feet by his throat, chokes him for a minute, then starts biting him again! Once again the ref has to get between the two men and get Phil off of Jelaous. The ref warns Phil that if he does it again, he will draw an immediate disqualification. Phil glares at the ref then snatches him with one hand, pulls him toward him and DESTROYS him with a head but. The ref falls to the mat; Phil pulls the ref to a sitting position and begins gnawing on his head trying to get the blood to flow. The ref is screaming in pain and frantically waving the match off.
WINNER in 2:33 MR. Jealous
Mr. Jealous stands transfixed for a moment as Phil mauls the ref. Then Jealous slips out of the ring and grabs a chair, comes back in and slams it down across Phil’s skull. Once, twice, finally after the third time Phil releases the bloody ref and falls back on the mat. Jealous throws the chair at Phil, then grabs the ref and leaves the ring.
Razz: Did you see what Phil did? It’s like he doesn’t care about getting the DQ?
Ross: You have to wonder why Phil’s here…and who brought him to the OOWF.
CD: I’ve fought UnderDawg, I’ve fought The Beast…but this guy seems unstoppable!
Razz: Unstoppable? This guy is nuts!
Ross: No, Nuts is taking on Stank in a ladder match!
Razz: Aren’t you OOWF’s King of the Ladder match?
Ross: That he is Razz. As for our next match, well…this should be a good one!
GIMMICKMAN vs. UNCLE ENTITY (w Jesse Garron)GimmickMan looks none the worse for the wear after being thrown off a bridge in Killington. This seems to really annoy Entity who attacks before the bell rings. Entity clubs Gimmick from behind and knocks him to the mat, then puts the boots to him. Entity then calls for Garron’s belt, which Jesse obligingly throws him. Before he can use the belt the ref reminds Entity that this is an Onslaught rules match and if he uses it in any way he will be immediately disqualified. Jesse Garron jumps up on the apron and draws the ref’s attention, allowing Entity to wrap the belt around his fist and pound away at Gimmick’s forehead, opening a nasty gash. By the time the ref turns back around Entity has disposed of the belt and has a now bloody GimmickMan in a chin lock. Gimmick fights to his feet, but Entity regains the advantage with a knee to the mid section. Entity whips Gimmick to the ropes but lowers his head a little too soon. GM catches him with a double under hook suplex. Entity hits the mat hard, and GM follows it up by dropping an elbow across his sternum. Quick cover gets a two count. Gimmick goes on the offensive, sending Entity up high with a series of back body drops, then rattles his teeth with a brutal European upper cut. Gimmick hoists a stunned Entity up for the Spartan plunge! But Entity slips off his shoulders and tries to leave the ring, but GimmickMan catches him on the apron and pulls him to his feet and brings him back suplex. From the outside Garron grabs Gimmick’s foot causing Gimmick to loose his balance, he falls and Entity lands on top of him. Garron keeps hold of GM’s foot preventing him from kicking out; the ref doesn’t see a thing and makes the three count.
WINNER in 8:44 Uncle Entity
Razz: I’d call this an upset! I guess anything can happen in the OOWF.
Ross: Be careful with what you are saying, Razz, we don’t need to use other company’s ideas!
Razz: Next up, LD Williams looks to start a winning streak and gain another shot at Blackdragon’s Intercontinental title
CD: Little known fact; me and Blackdragon used to team
Razz: Seems like you used to team with everyone
CD: what can I say; I’m just not interested in being part of a team
LD WILLIAMS vs. DR. MURDER Williams looks like he is in a particularly foul mood tonight. The two circle, then lock up. Murder backs Williams into the corner, as the two break; Murder unleashes a slap across Williams face. LDW explodes out of the corner and nearly decapitates Murder with a clothesline. Williams mounts Murder and slams the back of his head into the canvas, and pummels him with punches to the face. Murder tries to escape out of the ring, but Williams pursues him outside the ring. Williams scoops Murder up and slams him on the floor, then grabs a glass water pitcher sitting on the Palestinian Announce Table and shatters it across Murder’s skull drawing copious amounts of blood. When Williams tries to pull Murder to his feet Murder low blows Williams. LDW falls to his knees, in pain. Murder gets up and wraps a mic cord around Williams throat and tries to choke him out. Finally Murder lets go and rolls Williams back into the ring. Inside the ring, Murder whips Williams to the ropes and connects with a swinging rock bottom. Cover only gets a two as Williams rolls his shoulder. Murder keeps up the assault lifting Williams and setting him on the top rope. Murder follows him up and hits a top rope flat liner. Murder makes the cover but somehow Williams is able to get his shoulder up again at two. The Doc pulls Williams up and tries the DOA, but Williams slips out of it, spins him around and DESTROYS him with a DDT. Williams takes too long to make the cover and Murder is able to get his shoulder up at two. Both men up, Murder kicks Williams low and hefts him up for a suplex, Williams reverses out of it and lands on his feet behind Murder and levels him with a forearm to the back of the head. As soon as Murder hits the mat, Williams pounces and locks on the STF. Murder fights valiantly, but after several minutes he is forced to tap out.
WINNER in 9:59 LD Williams
After the match Johnny Adrenaline tries to attack with a golf club, LDW ducks a wild swing and drops Adrenaline with a DDT. AA follows Johnny in the ring, but LDW picks up the golf club and lays a good shot into AA’s midsection, then slams it down across the back of his head. AA falls to the mat in pain; LD Williams leaves the ring and is joined about half way down the ramp by Moosehead Jack. The two glare at the ring and turn to leave. Niles and Beast step out from the back and the Jack and Niles exchange glares for a moment before Niles and Beast slip by and go help Adrenaline and AA in the ring.
Ross: Up next is the reformed Establishment against SoulDragon and Mercury.
Razz: The Establishment is still around?
CD: As a tag team, yes…but thankfully the piece of shit that is Eco is gone.
Ross: You need to watch that continuity stuff. Razz’s head will explode!
THE ESTABLISHMENT vs. SOULDRAGON & MERCURY As the Establishment come to the ring they first pass Moose and Williams, they all kind of nod at each other, they then pass Niles, AA, Johnny and Beast. Morte and Endo hardly acknowledge them. Before they can get into the ring, SoulDragon and Mercury sprint down the ramp and attack. SoulDragon and Morte remain outside the ring and brawl around ringside; Mercury rolls Endo into the ring. Inside, Mercury whips Endo to the ropes and catches him coming off with a roll through Boston crab (like Lance Storm used to use, only both legs instead of just one) Endo inches his way to the ropes but refuses to tap out. Outside the ring SoulDragon stuns Morte with a couple of stiff kicks to the sides and then a wicked tajiri kick to the head. Morte falls to his knees and another kick to the head drops him. SD backs up and gets a running start and springs to the apron for a flying kick. But Morte gets up, dodges the flying SD and shoves him in mid air into the steel guard rail. Morte then climbs the ropes and flies inside the ring connecting with a flying bulldog on Mercury breaking the Boston crab. Morte and Endo try to set up Mercury for their finisher, but SoulDragon hits the ring and attacks Morte from behind. Dragon tries to whip Morte but they reverse each other several times and Morte ends up slamming into the ref. The ref drops like a sack of bricks. Mercury catches Endo with a top rope standing dragon sault, then SD lifts Endo and hits an OMEN DRIVER! Endo is out, SD makes the cover but there is no ref. As Mercury and SoulDragon attempt to revive the ref, Niles Anderson and Beast hit the ring, Anderson lays Mercury out with a SteeDDT and Beast nearly kicks SoulDragon’s head off with a big boot. Niles drags a semi-conscious Endo over to Mercury and lays him on the out cold Mercury then revives the ref and takes off. The ref, having no clue what just happened, makes the three count.
WINNERS in 15:08 The Establishment
Ross: Well, The Establishment seems to be back on track,
Ross: Next up is a man who has been MIA recently, going against one of Niles Anderson’s lackey.
Razz: Now look Ross, there’s no reason to say he is Niles’ lackey!
CD: You mean except for the fact that AA has about as much value as a Sexy Female Journalist in a spelling bee?
Razz: You really hate Niles?
CD: I hate Double A as well.
ERIC O’MAC vs. ATTITUDE ADJUSTER The bell rings and the two men meet in the center of the ring. They jaw at each other for a few minutes, and as the intensity of their jawing increases they finally come to blows. Both men trade shots to the head. After several of those, EOM ducks an AA haymaker and connects with a spinning heel kick that catches AA right between the eyes. AA hits the mat and EOM bounds off the ropes and hits a rolling thunder splash for a one count. AA gets to one knee and EOM tries to hit a spin kick to the head but AA ducks the kick and goozles EOM and hits a sit down choke slam. AA covers but only gets one. Both men get back to their feet, but AA rakes the eyes and whips Eric to the ropes and buries a knee in his midsection then locks on am abdominal stretch. Eric struggles to get out of it, and AA uses the ropes for leverage. The ref checks several times but AA releases the ropes each time. Finally the ref catches AA’s arm on the ropes and kicks his arm off the ropes, EOM reverses it into a hip toss then hits a spinning leg drop. Another cover gets a one count. AA gets to his feet and EOM grabs him and destroys him with a release German suplex. AA is down; he calls the ref over claiming his neck is broken or something. As the ref is distracted checking on AA, Johnny runs to the ring, golf club in hand. EOM spots him and runs toward the corner, leaps to the top rope and dives to the outside. Johnny swings the golf club just as Eric gets to him catching him right in the mid section. Johnny adds another club shot right to the head and rolls EOM back into the ring. AA heals miraculously and applies the OMG! Asiatic Spike! EOM struggles for a moment, but then is forced to submit
WINNER in 12:44 Attitude Adjuster
After the match Johnny is just climbing onto the ring apron when LD Williams comes to ring side and slams a steel chair across his back and DDT’s him on the floor leaving him lying on the floor. AA beats a hasty retreat and Williams helps Eric to his feet and they head to the back leaving Johnny lying out the floor, seemingly out cold.
CD: What a shock! Who would have though somebody would get involved here, that’s just not right?
Razz: Now to be fair, a win is a win when you look at the record books.
CD: I don’t give a crap about that. Where’s the honor in winning like that?
Razz: Who cares about honor?
Razz: Speaking of things that are just not right, what do you guys think about the undefeated Mikey Styner?
CD: Sometimes you get lucky Razz. And if Mikey keeps getting lucky he may end up on top of the OOWF.
Razz: The only thing Mikey is on top of is the buffet in the back! There is no way he is getting a fluke win over Johnny Adrenaline!
JOHNNY ADRENALINE vs. MIKEY STYNER Styner comes to the ring first, and just waits patiently in the middle of the ring. Johnny slowly drags himself into the ring and slowly pulls himself to his feet using Styner, obviously not realizing what the hulk of humanity in front of him is. When Johnny finally pulls himself to his feet he comes eye to eye with Styner, NOW he realizes what it is. Johnny unleashes a barrage of lefts and rights to Styner’s jaw, then unleashes a few chops; they don’t faze Styner in the least. Johnny rears back for a haymaker, jut Styner catches his punch and twists Johnny’s wrist dropping Johnny to his knees and into full beg-off mode. Styner looks around for a moment as the crowd roars their approval, but Styner takes too long and Johnny hits a low blow. Styner doubles over in pain and Adrenaline gets to his feet and unleashes a few clubbing blows to Styner’s back, then finally gets the big man off his feet with a drop kick to his knee. With Styner on the mat, Johnny hits the ropes and drops a couple of knees on the fallen behemoth. Johnny goes for a cover but Styner easily powers out at one. Styner slowly gets to his feet and absorbs some more shots from Johnny; Styner has finally had enough and catches Johnny with a clothesline that knocks him off his feet. MS looks around; Johnny bails out of the ring. As he does, AA rushes to ringside and smacks a chair across Styner’s back. Styner falls against the ropes; it appears that he is out on his feet. AA’s interference brings Williams and Eric back out, EOM tackles AA and takes him to the floor and they brawl. LD Williams spins Johnny around and slams him in the face with a chain wrapped fist between the eyes. Williams rolls Johnny back into the ring, he lands right in front of Styner, but Mikey just stands there. Finally Williams runs over and gives MS a big shove, he falls right on top of Johnny, knocking all the wind out of Adrenaline. The ref sees the cover and makes the three count
WINNER in 11:21 Mikey Styner
AA escapes from EOM and slides into the ring, Williams and Eric leave. AA tries to roll the massive Styner off of Adrenaline, but it takes Niles and Beast’s help to free the former Intercontinental champion
Razz: I can’t believe LD Williams!
CD: Why not? Seems to me like stuff like that happens all the time.
Ross: It would seem like Styner’s matches do have a lot of run ins.
Razz: Poor Johnny, this is an outrage.
CD: What actually is an outrage is us not talking about out next match.
Ross: wCw vs. Outback Jack and GatorBait, in a two out of three falls match.
CD: When you go 2/3 it’s an endurance test. The team that gets the first fall has a huge advantage, but being a tag match there is more chances for a comeback.
OUTBACK JACK & GATORBAIT vs. wCw – Best of Three Falls Match The four men meet in the middle of the ring and shake hands. Wilder and Gator head to the apron so it will be Jack and Westgaard who start things off tonight. The two men circle each other and look for an opening, collar and elbow tie up, Jack grabs JWW and sends him to the ropes, JWW hits a shoulder block and Jack hits the mat. Westgaard charges off the ropes, Jack springs to his feet and tries a hip toss, but Westgaard traps one arm, so Jack traps the other and they proceed to head but the hell out of each other until they both stagger away toward their respective corners and make a tag to Gator comes in first and almost gets to Westgaard, but JWW lunges and makes the tag, Wilder springboards into the ring and catches Gator with a head scissor take over. Wilder springs to his feet and hits a drop kick on Gator as soon as he gets to his feet. Wilder grabs Gator by the head and tries a DDD but Gator uses his superior strength to throw Wilder off of him. Wilder lands on his feet, but as soon as he turns around, Gator explodes out of the corner and kills Tommy with a clothesline. Gator keeps Wilder grounded for a few minutes with some mat wrestling. Gator reaches out and tags Jack who comes in and tries to lock on the STF, but Wilder gets to the ropes. Both men get to their feet and Jack grabs Wilders arm and tries to break him down for the cross face, but Wilder won’t go down. Wilder works his way over to the ropes and runs up the corner and flips backward catching Jack with a reverse DDT. Wilder makes the quick cover, hooks both legs and gets a surprise three count.
WINNERS of the first fall in 14:02 wCw; wCw leads 1-0 Jack gets to his feet and tags in Gator who comes in and cuts Wilder off keeping him from making the tag. Gator whips Wilder to the corner, Wilder scales the corner and tries to flip out of the corner with a moon sault but Gator catches him and drops him head first in a tombstone pile driver. Cover is broken up at two by Westgaard. Gator tags in Jack who bounds off the ropes and drops a knee right into the small of Wilder’s back. Jack then scoops Wilder up and locks him in the Shrimp on the Barbie (over the shoulder back breaker. Jack walks around the ring trying to get the submission from Wilder, but he won’t give up. Jack walks a little too close to Wilder’s corner and Westgaard flips Wilder’s legs up, and TW flips off of Jack’s shoulders and is able to make the tag to Westgaard. JWW comes in like a house of fire and lands some stiff shots to Jack. JWW whips Jack to the ropes and catches him with a running back elbow on his way back. Jack hits the mat hard. Westgaard goes for the pin but it is broken up at two. Westgaard scoops up Jack and takes him to the corner where he ties him to the tree of woe. Westgaard retreats to the opposite corner and charges, burying a knee into Jack’s mid section. As Jack falls from the corner JWW tags in a refreshed Wilder who quickly scales the top rope. As the ref is escorting Westgaard out of the ring, Wilder leaps as Jack is getting to his feet trying to land a spectacular flying body press, but Jack moves and Wilder crashes to the mat. Jack tags Gator, and he quickly comes in and they wait, as soon as Wilder gets to his feet, they destroy him with the Call of the Wild. Gator makes the cover and the ref counts three.
WINNERS of the second fall in 13:12 (27:14 overall) Outback Jack & GatorBait; Series tied 1-1 Wilder is out, and Gator, sensing an advantage makes another cover, but Westgaard breaks it up at two. Gator tags in OBs in and drops a leg across Wilder’s chest. OBJ pulls Wilder to his feet and backs him into the corner and throws some deep shoulder blocks into Wilder’s mid section. Jack pauses before yet another shoulder block allowing Wilder time to hop to the top rope and connect with a sunset flip. Jack is able to roll his shoulders at two. Wilder lunges across the ring trying to make a tag, but Wilder grabs his foot and holds on. Wilder turns and fights trying to break free by kicking Jack in the face, but Jack is able to hold on and make the tag to GatorBait. Gator comes in and drops an elbow down across Wilder. Gator immediately pulls Wilder to his feet, whips him to the ropes and catches him with a power slam. Another cover, once again Wilder kicks out at two. Gator is getting a little frustrated at not being able to keep this kid down so he whips him to the ropes, but Gator lowers his head a little too soon and Wilder tries to hook Gator for a pedigree, but Gator reverses it into a CHOMP!!!! Gator makes the cover, one, two, thre SOMEHOW Wilder rolls his shoulder. Gator pulls Wilder to his corner and tags in Jack. OBJ whips Wilder into the ropes and elevates him but before he can do anything else, Wilder shifts his weight in mid air and connects with a drop kick. Wilder crawls across the ring and finally makes the tag. Westgaard comes in and drops both Jack and Gator with rights. JWW then pulls Jack to his feet and whips him to the ropes and connects with a brutal cross check. JWW picks Jack up for the Ice Auger, as he does, GatorBait comes in the ring to make the save, out of nowhere Wilder cuts Gator off with a spear! JWW hits the auger and makes the cover and gets a three just before Jack gets his shoulder up.
WINNERS in 20:28 (47:42 overall) wCw: wCw wins 2 falls to 1
After the match the four men shake hands in the middle of the ring and Jack and Gator raise wCw’s hands in victory.
Ross: What a match!
CD: its teams like this why all over the world people are talking about the OOWF tag division.
Ross: But you have to wonder, when will Jack and Gator win the big one?
CD: It’s tough to say. There’s no denying they are one of the best teams the OOWF has ever seen, but maybe it’s time for them to move on?
Razz: I hope so. I hate people from Australia. Stupid South Americans.
CD: What?
Razz: See, I TOLD you anything can happen here in the OOWF!
Ross: And we told you to stop ripping off other companies catch phrases.
CD: Well if anything can happen, I hope UnderDawg and Mark Vander beat the holy hell out of Microplay and Donovan Viper.
Razz: I hope Misty will be out there. She’s so hawt!
Ross and CD: SHUT UP YOU FILTY OLD MAN!
DONOVAN VIPER & MICROPLAY vs. UNDERDAWG & MARK VANDER Viper and Microplay attack UD and Vander as they get into the ring. Viper goes after Vander and nails him with a clothesline to the back of the head. Microplay drops UnderDawg to one knee with an axe handle between the eyes. Donovan Viper pulls Vander to his feet and throws him between the ropes to the floor. Meanwhile Microplay whips Dawg to the ropes and kicks him in the mid section as he comes back. Microplay tries a suplex, but UnderDawg is able to block it. Viper comes over and helps and the two of them take Dawg over. Vander reaches into the ring from the outside and pulls Microplay to the outside. Vander slams Micro’s head into the guard rail then drops him with a clothesline from hell. Inside the ring, Viper mounts UnderDawg and pounds away. UD reverses it and now he wails on Viper. Donovan Viper tries to escape to the outside but Mark Vander is right there, catches him and rolls him right back to the inside. As he rolls in, Viper gets to his feet and glares at Vander, Vander motions for him to turn around; when he does UnderDawg blasts him with a boot to the face. On the outside, Microplay is back on his feet, he attacks Vander and they fight their way up the ramp and to the back effectively turning this into a solo match. UnderDawg pursues Viper; Viper begs off and backs to the corner. As Viper stands in the corner, he thumbs UnderDawg in the eye. UD flails backward and knocks the ref down. As UD tries to clear his vision, Donovan Viper pulls a chain out of his tights and wraps it around his elbow. As UnderDawg gets to his feet, DV explodes out of the corner trying to hit him with a Death Elbow. Before he can connect UnderDawg catch him by the throat and hit a big choke slam. Viper is out; the ref is still down, UnderDawg picks up the chain and wraps it around his fist and pounds at Viper’s head until the blood is flowing freely. UnderDawg pulls Viper to his feet and throws him over his shoulder and hits a FirePlug Pile driver. The ref comes to and makes the three count.
WINNER in 18:09 UnderDawg & Mark Vander
CD: Now that’s what I like to see!
Razz: How can you say that! Did you see what happened to Microplay and Viper out there! They got their collective ass beat!
CD: Well I’m sure Viper enjoyed it. But regardless if he did, I know I did.
Ross: Now there wouldn’t be anything wrong with that.
CD: There’s nothing wrong with being a homo Ross…but there’s a lot wrong with Donovan Viper.
Ross: Moving on, our next match will not be for those of you with weak stomachs or young children.
CD: I’m not sure anything that Beast does is for the kids.
Razz: Yeah, I mean did you hear about him and 5 of Canada’s finest?
CD: Beast with the Mounties? I think you’re talking about Viper there Razz!
Ross: Back on subject, our next match feature The Beast vs. Chris Alt.
CD: I’ve been in the ring with both of these guys…and I can say for a fact that this match will not disappoint.
CHRIS ALT vs. BEAST Alt and Beast lock up in the middle of the ring. Beast grabs and arm and twists, momentarily dropping Alt to one knee. Alt gets up and reverses it into an arm wringer of his own. Beast tries to reverse it again, but he cannot, so he gets to the ropes. Alt sends a message by waiting until just before the five count to break, and adds a little slap to the back of the head for good measure. Beast turns around and charges at Alt, Alt takes him down with a drop toe hold and leaps on Beast’s head and locks on a side head lock. Beast works up to his feet and lifts Alt like he is going to hit a belly to back suplex, but instead just tosses Alt chest first into the corner. Alt staggers backward and Beast drops him with a brutal big boot to the back of the head. Beast takes over now, sending Alt to the ropes and hitting a big back body drop. As soon and Alt hits the mat Beast hits the ropes and drops a knee across Alt’s chest. Beast then sits and clubs some brutal forearm shots to Alt’s chest. Alt rolls out of the ring and coughs up a little bit of blood. Beast follows Alt out of the ring and whips Alt chest first into the ring post. Alt collapses to the floor gasping for breath. Beast rolls Alt into the ring and makes the cover; Alt somehow manages to kick out at two. Beast hauls Alt back to his feet and scoops him up for a power slam, as he drops Alt, Alt holds on and rolls Beast up in a small package. Beast narrowly escapes at two and looks furious. Beast pulls Alt to his feet and lifts him by the throat by both hands and tries to choke him out. Beast throws Alt down and moves to the corner and takes off the turnbuckle pad exposing the steel. Beast whips Alt to the corner and he hits the exposed steel chest first. Alt turns around and slumps into the corner. Beast measures Alt and tries a big splash. Alt moves and Beast slams his head on the exposed steel. Alt slips around behind Beast and rolls him up in a school boy, grabbing a hand full of tights for good measure. A stunned Beast is not able to kick out in time and the ref makes the three count.
WINNER in 21:20 Chris Alt
Razz: Did you see that? Alt beat Beast!
CD: Two losses in one night for Beast, man, he’s really sucking it up tonight! He can’t be happy about that.
Ross: And another person who is not happy is out world champion Niles Anderson.
Razz: You’re damn right he’s not happy! There are too many pretenders looking for his gold!
Ross: Speaking of somebody looking for gold, you have to imagine that Moosehead Jack and Concrete will be looking for a title shot if they get the victory over 3PieceSet.
Razz: Which is easier said then done, because my money’s on 3PS getting the win and getting the gold back!
CD: You’re money isn’t worth shit Razz.
Razz: Can he say that?
Ross: I think he just did! And more importantly we’ve got a match to call.
3PIECE SET vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK & CONCRETE TG Ax and Jack lock up first, Jack gets the initial advantage with a kick to the mid section. Jack scoops up Ax and slams him to the mat and makes the quick tag to Concrete. Concrete springboards into the ring and drops a fist right between Ax-Man’s eyes. Concrete covers but only gets a one count. Both men get to their feet, Concrete attempts a collar and elbow lock up but Ax thumbs him in the eye and makes the tag to Cole. Cole comes in and charges at Concrete, but Concrete takes him down with a drop toe hold then bounds off the ropes and connects with a two foot drop kicks to Cole’s face. As Cole rolls around the mat in pain, Concrete tags in Moose who comes in and drops a big elbow across Cole’s sternum. Moose makes the cover, and gets two when Ax tries to interfere. Ax attempts to drop an elbow across Jack’s head, but he moves and Ax hits Cole instead. 3Piece Set bail out of the ring to regroup. As they stand talking strategy, Concrete attempts a flying plancha over the top rope, but Ax and Cole move and Concrete crashes into the floor. Ax and Cole take over now, keeping Concrete isolated in their half of the ring. After several minutes of action, Cole hits Concrete with an Alabama Jam and tags Ax who climbs the ropes and hits a perfect moonsault. Concrete is just barely able to roll his shoulder at two. The fans begin chanting SEM-AJ, SEM-AJ which gets Concrete all kinds of fired up. Ax whips Concrete to the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Concrete ducks and catches Ax with a Tiger Suplex. Concrete dives and makes the hot tag to Jack, who comes in and levels both Ax and Cole with clotheslines. Concrete pulls Cole to his feet and hits him with a release belly to back suplex from the apron that sends Cole crashing through the Palestinian Announce table. Meanwhile, Jack sends Ax to the ropes and tries a back body drop but lowers his head too soon, Ax catches Jack for a pile driver, but before he can lift Moose, Concrete connects with a brutal shining wizard right to the side of Ax’s head. Ax falls to the mat, Jack locks on the Indian Death lock. Ax has no escape and is forced to submit.
WINNERS in 18:41 Moosehead Jack & Concrete TG
Ross: That folks was brutality at its best.
Razz: I can’t believe how well Jack and CTG are working together.
CD: Well it’s like the saying goes…sometimes you want to keep your enemies closer then your friends. Especially in the heat of action.
CD: Speaking of action, this next match should be another show stealer. In fact, I want both Capellan and Thim to know that once I am cleared, I will be going after the Onslaught title!
Ross: What an announcement!
Razz: Who cares about the Onslaught title?
CD: A lot of people Razz. Being world champion is great, but being able to hold a belt showing the world that you are the best pure wrestler there is today is something few men can do.
Ross: And now let’s see who will be able to do so after tonight!
CAPELLAN vs. THIM REYNOLDS Capellan and Thim shake hands to start the match. Both men circle cautiously looking for an opening, Capellan tries a few UFC style kicks to the side of Thim’s legs, but the much larger Thim just shrugs them off. Capellan then tries to go a little higher with his kick, but Thim catches his leg, traps it, then turns and drops an elbow right down across the inside of Capellan’s leg. Capellan grimaces in pain as the near three hundred pound Thim falls on the inside of his knee. Capellan quickly realizes that he is in trouble, being on the mat with Thim is not a good idea. Thim is working on the knee, bending it awkwardly and applying pressure just above the knee cap. Capellan frantically pulls himself to the ropes, and finally reaches them forcing the break. Thim gets to his feet, as Capellan gets up and puts weight on his knee, it noticeably buckles. Capellan looks worried, Thim seems to have a bit of an evil grin on his face. The match continues, but Capellans is definitely on the defensive. He tries some moves, but they generally end with Thim kicking his knee and Capellan collapsing to the mat. Capellan bails out of the ring to regroup. When he comes back in the two lock up again, Capellan grabs a side head lock, then quickly flips over Thim’s back and lands on his feet, tenderly. When Thim turns around Capellan hits a beautiful dropkicks that sends Thim to the ropes, as he rebounds Capellan takes him over into a hurracarana pinning position. Thim escapes before three. Capellan senses that he has to try for the win quickly, so as Thim is getting to his feet, Capellan scales the ropes and tries for the Dragon Kick! Thim dodges it at the last second and swats Capellan to the mat. Capellan lands knee first and grabs his knee in agony. Sensing the advantage, Semaj taps the “SB” on his elbow pad and gives it a little twist, then locks on the ADJUSTOR! Capellan is inches from the ropes; he should have no trouble reaching them, but wait! The ref is calling for the bell! Capellan is out!
WINNER in 22:49 and NEW Onslaught Champion – Thim Reynolds
Ross: We have a new champion here in the OOWF, and his name is Thim Reynolds!
Razz: Well even I have to admit that was a great match.
CD: See that’s the way a title match should be. Not about backstage stroke, not about gimmicks…but about who is the better man
Ross: Well or next match will have a hard time topping that!
Razz: The Devils Brigade are at a huge disadvantage Ross, what with Viper in the back licking his wounds.
CD: Are you sure that’s all he’s licking?
FF CAPSLOCK & STANK vs. THE DEVIL’S BRIGADE Much like 3Piece Set earlier, Capslock and Stank look a little worse for the wear after their hellacious match last week. Camby and O’Neil attack the champs to start things off. Camby backs Stank into one corner and uses him like a body bag laying in some stiff shots to the midsection. On the other side, O’Neil has Capslock trapped and works him over with some stiff kicks to the mid section. Camby and O’Neil then try the double whip sending Stank and Capslock crashing into each other, but since they are heels, that never works. Capslock and Stank both reverse the whips, but Camby and O’Neil stop short and point to their heads. Smart move guys. So Capslock and Stank simply charge and splash the two Devils together in a dual avalanche! Camby and O’Neil roll to the outside, and are pursued by FFC and Stank. Outside, Camby goes to Capslock’s eyes, then rips away at his stitches re opening a bloody wound on his forehead. On the other side, O’Neil side steps a charging Stank, when Stank turns around O’Neil throws a chair at him that reopens his wounds as well. Camby and O’Neil retreat to the ring and the big men are left bleeding on the outside. Capslock and Stank look a little pissed and charge the ring. Camby and O’Neil try to attack again, but the champs get the best of them. Capslock takes O’Neil out of the ring. Tommy tries a Wicked Left but Capslock ducks it and hits a rising clothesline on TO. Capslock then picks up O’Neil and slams him crotch first on the guard rail, then picks up the chair and warps it on his skull knocking O’Neil into the crowd. Inside the ring, Camby is trying to scoop Stank up, and he actually gets one foot off the ground. Capslock comes in and clubs Camby from behind, then whips him to the ropes and catches him with a big spine buster. As soon as Camby hits, Stank comes off the ropes and hits the Stankonia. Not content with just that, Capslock climbs to the bottom rope and hits a big splash on Camby and makes the cover. As the ref makes the three count, O’Neil tries to make the save, but Stank catches him with the Stank-U to preserve the pin
WINNERS in 15:55 FF Capslock & Stank
Ross: That’s a big win for FFC and Stank!
CD: I’ve been in the ring with The Brigade, and they are a tough win. I gotta say FFC and Stank get my respect for that win.
Razz: Wow! What a great prize! I wonder what I have to do to get one.
CD: Keep it up and your prize will be a swift kick to your face!
Ross: Speaking of friends and enemies, who has been attacking Corax?
CD: Well it isn’t me. But I have a good idea who it is.
Razz: Good idea? Hell we all know who it is…and I for one think that people who are hurt should stay away from here!
Ross: Ummm, Razz. You may not want to say that.
Razz: Why not?
CD: Because I might just have to kick your head of that pile of flab you call a body.
Ross: Enough and lets focus on the action at hand, as Blackdragon looks to continue his winning ways.
BLACKDRAGON vs. CORAX Corax offers his hand to start the match; Blackdragon doesn’t fall for it at all and slaps his hand away. This pisses Corax off so he throws a drop kick at Dragon’s knee knocking Dragon to the mat. Corax pulls Dragon to the corner and posts him crotch first, then slams the side of his knee into the post several times. Corax then slips back into the ring and stomps on Dragon’s leg some more. Corax slowly pulls Dragon to his feet, and Dragon explodes and hits a standing drop kick that catches Corax in the face and sends him flying out of the ring. While Corax regroups on the outside, Blackdragon flexes his leg on the inside. Corax gets back into the ring and they lock up, Dragon takes him over with an arm drag. Dragon hits a series of arm drags and sends Corax out of the ring again. Corax gets up on the apron and Blackdragon brings him in with a standing vertical suplex. As they crash to the mat Blackdragon floats over and grabs a leg getting a two count. Corax slips out and gets to his feet, as Dragon gets up Corax drops him with a bolo punch. Corax scales the ropes and waits for Dragon to get to his feet. As he does Corax nails him with a diving neck breaker. Corax covers and gets a two count. Corax climbs the ropes again and waits perched on the top. As he leaps attempting a cross body block, Blackdragon hits a drop kick that catches Corax in the face and lays him out. Blackdragon pulls a dazed Corax to his feet and hits a release German Suplex that sends Corax slamming into the corner, hitting the back of his head on the turnbuckle. As the ref checks on Corax to make sure he isn’t dead, Donovan Viper slides into the ring and DESTROYS Blackdragon with a chain Death Elbow to the back of the head. For good measure Viper adds a SIDEWINDER and leaves Blackdragon lying unconscious in the middle of the ring. The ref gets up and turns and sees Blackdragon is out, so he goes to check on him. As Corax gets to his feet, a man dressed all in black comes through the audience and pulls him out of the ring. On the outside he slams Corax face first into the ring post, then scoops him up and hits a cradle pile driver. Corax is out cold, the masked man slips back through the crowd. The ref turns around again and sees Corax out cold on the outside and starts the dual ten count. Blackdragon gets up at nine using the ropes, Corax doesn’t move and gets counted out
WINNER by count out in 17:44 Blackdragon
CD: I know Blackdragon, and I know that he’ll be able to use this win to keep going forward.
Razz: How can you talk about Blackdragon when Corax has been viciously beaten?
CD: Because Corax is an ass?
Ross: Well whoever it is that is beating up Corax, it’s obvious that there is a deep hatred and I’d be interested to see them in action.
Razz: You know, Niles is the greatest champ we’ve ever had! And there are people who think he shouldn’t even be holding the title!
CD: People? You can say my name. The truth is if it wasn’t for outside help, Niles wouldn’t be anything more then the coffee boy of the OOWF let alone its champion.
Ross: Well all that aside, Chris Alt has his chance at the big time tonight if he can get the win over Niles.
HARDBODY HARRIS vs. NILES ANDERSON Harris comes to the ring in full splendor and pomp singing along with the fans, looks like the old Hardbody is back. Niles comes out next and the fans boo him mercilessly. Once they get into the ring and Harris climbs the turnbuckle and the place explodes with cheers, Niles climbs the turnbuckle and the place explodes in boos. Harris climbs up again, and Niles rushes over and attacks Harris from behind and power bombs him off the top turnbuckle. Niles goes for a quick cover, but Harris kicks out at two. Niles attacks stomping away on Harris, and falling on him and choking him out. Harris reverses positions and pounds away on Niles. Niles thumbs Harris in the eyes and escapes to the safety of the outside. Harris pursues him, Niles tries to swing wildly and Harris ducks catches Niles and shoves him into the steel guard rail. Harris slips back into the ring and waits. Niles gets up on the apron and tries to suplex Niles in, but Niles grabs his head and drops off the apron hanging Harris throat first across the bottom rope. Harris flies back into the ring and Niles slides right back in and takes control. They go back and forth for the next half an hour each man trading the advantage. Finally after almost forty five minutes of action, Harris attempts a power bomb, Niles frees himself from it, spins Harris around kicks him low ant goes for a SteeDDT, Harris reverses out of that and tries a side Russian leg sweep, Niles puts on the brakes and attempts a belly to belly suplex, but Harris prevents that and short whips Niles to the ropes and catches him with the TO BE EDITED IN LATER!!!! It’s over! Harris makes the cover, 1, 2 before Microplay climbs the corner and connects with a flying elbow to the back of Harris’ head! The ref calls for the bell disqualifying Niles Anderson!
WINNER in 47:49 by disqualification Hardbody Harris
After the match, Microplay pounds away on Harris and pile drives him in the middle of the ring. Niles slowly makes his way to his feet and stands by MP cheering him on, Micro pauses for a second then DESTROYS Niles with a clothesline. Micro pounds away on Niles, this brings Adrenaline, Beast and Attitude to the ring, as they try to get to Micro, he bails out of the ring. So instead they turn their attention to Harris. Beast pulls Harris up and has him up for a power bomb when Chris Alt hits the ring with a chair and chases them off. Niles slips back into the ring behind Alt’s back, Alt sees him, turns and swings the chair, Niles ducks and the chair slams into Harris’ skull, Harris falls to the mat, out cold. Alt tosses the chair aside and checks on Harris as Niles and his crew head to the back.
CD: What a shocker! Niles Anderson AGAIN needs help to escape with his title.
Razz: Well at least he has actually defended his title.
CD: You know Razz, its sad when the only person to not have illegal help and hold the OOWF title wasn’t able to keep the belt for longer. I think what we are seeing is that on any night anybody in the OOWF can raise his game and capture gold against anybody
Ross: Folks, next week tune in to see Niles Anderson face Chris Alt…HELL IN A CELL!!! That’s all for tonight, for Razz and Canadian Dragon, I’m Ross, GOODNIGHT!
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