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Post by BookerShark on Mar 30, 2011 20:08:11 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Paso De Los Toros, Uruguay
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
The Brass Knuckle Kings vs. The Flyin Hawaiians
OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match[/u]
Run DLP vs. Drink & Destroy
Winner Gets a PPV World Heavyweight Title Shot[/u]
J-P Sparxx vs. Psykle vs. Darius Prentiss
Winner Gets a PPV Intercontinental Title Shot[/u]
Ecosystem vs. Matt Folz
Winner Gets a PPV Onslaught Championship Title Shot - Match to be Contested Under Onslaught Rules[/u]
Firewoman vs. El Lobo Sangriento vs. Alexander Darling
Champions Showcase – Winner Gets a Shiny Trophy[/u]
Stank vs. Stan Fulton vs. Chris Evans
LD Williams & Tytan vs. TBA
Card subject to Kamala attack
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 30, 2011 20:12:04 GMT -5
*Fade in to the OOWF Corporate Offices at the Arena de los Muchos Espectadores in El Alto, Bolivia, shortly after Mayhem, where we find El Lobo Sangriento WAITING~! nervously for the receptionist to acknowledge his presence. Finally, she…wait…make that he…wait, what?
Justin Sane: How can I help you, sir?
ELS: Uh, aren’t you Justin Sane?
JS: That’s Receptionist Justin Sane to you, buddy. You want to drop the honorific, you need to drop some coin.
ELS: Huh?
JS: Can I borrow five bucks?
ELS: Oh. Uh…sure…I always keep some cash stowed in my mask for emergencies. Here you g–
*Just then, a door opens, and Stank comes out…
Stank: Sexy Female Receptionist 23, where’s that public appearance schedule I…What the hell are you doing at that desk? Where’s SFR23?
JS: I fired her.
Stank: You WHAT~? Under what authority?
JS: Under my authority as Special Assistant to the Corporate Champion.
Stank: That’s not your…you don’t even…that job doesn’t exist!
JS: Your next appointment is here.
Stank: I don’t have a next appointment. I’m doing paperwork.
JS: (turning to Lobo) I’m sorry, sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to come back at a later date. (checking a calendar) How’s your 2014?
Stank: Don’t be an ass. I’ll take the damn appointment. Lobo, hell of a match tonight. I hope you appreciate what a big win that was for a rookie.
ELS: Thanks, Stank. Much appreciated. You know, when I first got to OOWF, I–
Stank: Lobo, I’m a busy man. Don’t waste my time.
ELS: Right. Sorry. I have a request, but I’m not sure you’re the person I need to talk to about it. It might be more of a Firewoman thing. Or even an Ecosystem thing. I still haven’t been able to figure out who does what up here.
Stank: Tell me about it.
ELS: I know, right?
Stank: No, I mean tell me about it. Your request. What is it? Again, busy man.
ELS: Oh, that, well, I was thinking that, going forward, I’d like my matches to be–
Stank: Let me stop you right there, Lobo. I’m not your guy. Go talk to Firewoman or Eco.
ELS: Not the President then? I though he was–
Stank: VETO~! I vetoed that shit! Why does no one respect that veto? The President is not the GM. End of story.
ELS: I was going to say “Ecosystem’s lackey,” but I get the point. I’ll give Firewoman a try and see if she can help. It concerns her anyway. Thanks for your time. I look forward to meeting with you next week to discuss my contract.
Stank: Sure, whatever. I’ll have SFR23 set it up after this jackass (pointing at Justin Sane) calls her to tell her she’s got her job back.
*Lobo heads for the next door down the Hallway of Corporate Offices, which is emblazoned with “Commissioner Firewoman,” and knocks. A muffled voice from behind the door tells Lobo to enter, which he does…
ELS: Excuse me, Commissioner Firewoman?
Lucky: I’m flattered, but she’s not here at the moment. Come back later.
ELS: Shit. Sorry, Lucky. I didn’t see that it was you before I…anyway, do you know when the Commissioner will be back in her office?
Lucky: When she damn well pleases, I’d imagine. Try back then.
ELS: Ooookay. Thanks.
*Lobo exits the Commissioner’s office and heads further down the Hallway of Corporate Offices. He passes the Corporate Washroom Facilities and the Corporate Break Room and the Corporate Janitor’s Closet before finally coming to the last door in the Hallway of Corporate Offices: CEO Ecosystem’s Office. He hesitates, wondering if his request is really worth taking to the top. Deciding that it’s probably not worth bothering the CEO with, Lobo turns to leave. Just then, the door opens, revealing CEO Ecosystem…
CEOEco: Can I help you?
ELS: Oh. Uh. Hi.
CEOEco: …
ELS: So, uh, crazy night, eh? I mean, who would have thought...uh…
CEOEco: …
ELS: Okay, look. I was going to walk away and not bother you with this, but I’m here now, and you’re here now, and since we’re both here, I might as well give it a shot. You know what I mean?
CEOEco: Not even a little.
ELS: Right. My bad. Here’s the thing: I’ve got a match next week against Firewoman and Darling for a shot at the Onslaught title. That belt is my first goal here.
CEOEco: Good choice. Bye.
ELS: Wait, there’s more. Until I win the Onslaught title, I’d like for all of my matches to be contested under Onslaught rules. For practice. Including next week’s match.
CEOEco: Interesting. Done.
ELS: What, just like that?
CEOEco: Just like that. Now go away.
ELS: Wow. Uh, okay. Thanks! I mean, I really appr–
*CEO Ecosystem’s door slams in Lobo’s smiling face as we *FADE*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 1, 2011 19:05:10 GMT -5
Firewoman meanders in to the medical pay, sees Tytan, and smirks. She then turns over to where Evans is getting his ribs attended to.
FW: Yo, doc. Take a break.
Doc: Sure, Madam Commissioner.
FW: *rolls eyes* Remind me to thank Davin for that. How's the ribs, Cubby?
CE: Fine....and don't call me that.
FW: I think I can kind of call you what I want, don't you?
CE: Fine....what do you want.
FW: All business. I like that. You know, I've been flipping through this. *she holds up a small book that says OOWF*
CE: What's that?
FW: I'd like to be shocked that you don't know what this is, but I'm not. Anyway, it's the OOWF Rule book, and the rules are SURPRISINGLY clear!
CE: Now you're a rules-junky?
FW: Comes with the job. Especially interesting were the Onslaught Champion rules. Have you ever read them?
CE: No.
FW: I didn't think so. If you had, you'd know that there's a... well, I'll call it an honor code that goes along with being the Onslaught Champion. Most significantly it says...and I quote....
CE: So?
FW: Let me continue...uh, blah blah blaaaaah.....oh, here it is.
CE: It doesn't say that.
FW: It's right there in black and white. So... as commissioner, I'm afraid it's my duty to enforce these rules.
CE: Great, how much is the fine.
FW: No, the rules are pretty clear here. Anything that impugns the integrity of the Onslaught Belt....the wrestler who holds the belt shall be stripped of his...or her...Onslaught Championship.
CE: ...
FW: ...
CE: *standing* You can't be serious.
FW: I really hate to do this, Cubbie. Really. But given your antics in the ring, I'm afraid I have no other--
Evans advances on Firewoman backing her up towards the wall.
CE: This is ridiculous. It's an amazing abuse of power, and I doubt that either GMtheThePresident or CEOtheEcosystem will back you up on that.
FW: You would think, but as it turns out the rule book is where the buck stops. They can't argue it.
CE: You are NOT taking my belt.
Evans punctuates this by shoving Fire against the wall. He knocks the wind out of her, but as she catches her breath, she smiles.
CE: What's so funny?
FW: What you did there? That's called "provocation."
Firewoman kicks Evans in the gut, doubling him over and then drives her elbow down into his injured ribs. Evans falls to the floor and Fire stands up, then flips through the rule book again.
FW: Oh look...I misread ... there's no such rule after all. Sorry 'bout that.
Fire drops the rule book as she leaves.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 1, 2011 19:06:19 GMT -5
Ecosystem walks in to find Chris Evans on the floor.
Eco: Why are you on my floor?
Evans: Fire...made up some stupid rule about the Onslaught Champion.
Eco: The rule about title defenses? That's a real rule.
Evans: No, interference in other matches.
Eco: That's a real rule too.
Evans: What?
Eco: Yeah. Let's pull the quote back up.
Eco: You'll notice it doesn't say "refrain from."
Evans: So it's just....
Eco: You shall "from interfering" in other matches.
Evans: What does that mean.
Eco: It means you have to "from interfering" in other matches, especially in ways that influence the outcome of those matches.
Evans: ...
Eco: In other words, excellent job this week! Go ask Stank for a bonus.
Eco exits.
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 1, 2011 19:08:21 GMT -5
NEW ERIC O'MAC TWEET
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 30th, 201110:50 P.M
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 1, 2011 19:09:55 GMT -5
**SFJ#47 is standing with L.D. Williams.**
SFJ#47: “L.D., two weeks ago you wrestled Tytan inside a cage, but Wednesday night you will be teaming with him against unknown opponents. Is the new regime trying to tell you something or-”
LDW: “I asked for the match.”
SFJ#47: “You did? Why?”
LDW: “I asked Tytan to prove himself in the cage, and he did exactly that. He earned my respect. Now, it’s time to take the next step.”
SFJ: “Which is?”
LDW: “To get to that, we need to take a step back. Let’s talk about …Royalty. Lately the OOWF seems to be lousy with it - the Brass Knuckle Kings, now expanded to SUPREME, Ecosystem and his lackey the President - the upper crust is everywhere, apparently. Funny thing about royalty, though. No sooner is it in place than somebody’s planning it’s downfall. And that is where my new partner and I come in. Tell’ em big man.”
**Tytan steps into the frame.**
T: “Oh, how the weak have risen. Eco, Eric, you’ve both used me in the past. You’ve mocked and insulted me. The price for that needs to be paid. The OOWF may not descend into open war, but it is time for some of us to hammer our ploughshares into swords and our shovels into axes…Y’know, an Axe is the traditional weapon for dealing with a king.”
LDW: “And there’s your answer. Tytan gets it. Sometimes the head has to come off to solve the problem. There’s a word for that too. It describes both the action and the action taker. We are Regicide, and that is exactly what we’re going to do.”
T: “Sleep well, kings of wrestling, for tomorrow, you die.”
<fade>
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 1, 2011 19:11:45 GMT -5
*Fade in* as The Brass Knuckle Kings are talking strategy--errr, shining up their brass knuicks--when Bryce Larson remembers the promo from LD Williams. Eric O'Mac, not surprisingly, hasn't seen it yet.
BL: Hey, did you hear about LD & Tytan?
EOM: What? They're a couple now? [Yells to Lauren off camera.] LAUREN! Send LD & Tytan a congratulatory fruit basket, wish their relationship well for me, okay!?
BL: No-no! [Yells to Lauren off camera.] Nevermind Lauren! [Back to Eric.] No, they're teaming now.
EOM: So they're coming after us?
BL: You would think so, now wouldn't you?
EOM: So they're not? I mean, we're the champs!
BL: No. In fact, I'm pretty sure they're leaving the OOWF--
EOM: --what?
BL: Yeah, for Ring of Honor--
EOM: --WHAT?!
BL: Wait, wait, I got this. I'm "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, and you're the crowd, right?
EOM: Huh?
BL: No, I think you're supposed to keep using "WHAT?!"
EOM: What the hell are you...
BL: Um...nevermind? Anyway, take a look at what Tytan said in their recent promo together.
EOM: That's awesome! I love Hero & Castagnoli! My dad should have signed those guys a long time ago.
BL: Well, he had Claudio for like a day-and-a-half.
EOM: Really? Oh well, whatever. I'll wish them well.
BL: Fruit basket?
EOM: No, my new obsession...Twitter!
NEW ERIC O'MAC TWEET
THURSDAY, APRIL 31st, 2011 11:57 A.M.
Maria Kanellis: I think you're taking it out of context. I think they're coming for you guys, you know, since you're the "Kings?"
BL: Oh Maria, you're so silly!
EOM: Yeah, and be careful. That's how rumors get started!
*Fade out*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 1, 2011 19:14:14 GMT -5
CUT to the Donovan Viper Memorial Hallway of Random Encounters™, presented by VISA®. World Heavyweight Champion Stank and Intercontinental Champion The Crusher Stan Fulton are ~WALKING!~. Crusher’s attaché, Martha Rodriguez, walks behind and between them taking notes.SF: “C’mon. It’ll be fun.” S: “You are bat-shit insane, you know that?” SF: “It’s only about 150 kilometers from here. Right on the Argentinean border.” S: “I’m not going to a waterpark with you, Stan.” SF: “Party pooper.” S: “Shut up.” SF: “So, what’s this trophy look like that we’re fighting for on Wednesday?” S: “Don’t know. Eco hasn’t had it delivered yet. Knowing him, it’s probably something with his picture on it.” SF: “That’d suck if it was a Tickle Me Eco doll on a pedestal.” S: “Did you see the mock up of that thing? It was creepy.” SF: “What about Eco isn’t creepy?” S: “Good point.” SF: “Anything else, Martha?” MR: “No, I think we covered everything. Anything else, Mr. Mann?” S: “Naw. I’m good. Graçias, Ms. Rodriguez.” MR: “ Da nada. Let us know if there’s anything more Crusher or I can do.” S: “Will do.” Fulton and Stank shake hands.SF: “See ya later. When you find Moose, give me a call. We should go out and have a few beers.” Stank nods as he heads off to the OOWF Management Suite, already dreading the paperwork he’s going to have to deal with.
Fulton notices where they happened to stop and points at the door.SF: “Should we?” MR: “That’s up to you.” Fulton smiles and walks into the medical ward where Chris Evans is still recovering from the ribs shot he took earlier from Firewoman.CE: “Ah hell.” SF: “No worries, Chris. I’m not going to pummel you now. I’ll save it for Wednesday.” CE: “Why wait? We can do this now, tubby.” SF: “Weight insults? Really? That’s like making fun of the sun because it’s hot. There’s no imagination there. Then I suppose I shouldn’t think you’d supply anything to this promo.” Kayfabe, in disguise wearing a nurse uniform, grabs a scalpel from a nearby tray and leaps to attack. Fulton batters her aside, making space between them and dislodging the scalpel from her grasp. He then pulls a sword out from his jacket, Highlander -style.
Kayfabe narrows her eyes looking for an opening while brandishing a pair of nunchaku she had hidden in her skirt. They begin with small feints, each testing the other’s skill and possible strategy. Kayfaybe gets a shot in on Fulton’s shoulder and Fulton nicks Kayfabe’s forearm.
After a few tense minutes, the attacks start to come in earnest. During one memorable exchange, Kayfabe swings at Fulton’s head, he ducks and attempts to cut her legs out, but she leaps over the crouching Fulton like trying a sunset flip, but rolls through, stands up and rushes Fulton with swing after swing. Fulton desperately blocks each attack until Kayfaybe gets her nunchaku wrapped around Fulton’s blade and cross-guard and pulls the sword out of his hands.
The camera follows the sword as it goes zipping across the room to bury itself into the wall right in front of Rodriguez’s face, her eyes as big as saucers as she watches the sword vibrate from the impact inches away from her nose.
Fulton, now disarmed, rushes Kayfabe to get inside her nunchaku swings, grabbing her and slamming her to the floor. The nunchaku skitter away underneath Evans’s bed. Both combatants get to their feet and circle each other, looking for an opening.CE: “Kayfabe! Catch!” Evans tosses Kayfabe part of his IV stand and she brandishes it like a quarterstaff.MR: “Crusher!” In response, Rodriguez throws a surgical tray to Fulton who catches it and uses it as a shield.
Kayfabe starts to batter Fulton with the IV stand, the tray only just deflecting the blows. Finally, Kayfabe overextends herself on a big overhand swing, attempting to cave Crusher’s skull in. Fulton sidesteps the attack and as Kayfabe stumbles forward from the missed strike, he smacks her in the head with the steel tray. Her momentum carries her forward as she falls, ending up with her sliding on her face into the next room.
Tense music plays in the background as the camera focuses in on Fulton’s eyes, then Evans eyes, then Rodriguez’s eyes before panning down to her chest.MR: “Up here.” The camera jerks back to her face and then CUTS to Fulton who’s down on one knee catching his breath. He rises and walks over to his sword and pulls it from the wall. He turns towards where Kayfabe was laying, but she’s no longer there, having somehow disappeared.SF: (whispering) “There can be only one.” Fulton sheaths his sword somewhere inside his jacket.MR: “What?” SF: “Huh? Oh, nothing. Evans. I’ll see you in the ring on Wednesday. No excuses about your injured ribs. You can see what I’m able to do and Eco tried to pull my arm out of its socket last night. And I won’t forget what happened here.” CE: “Neither will I, Fatlander.” Fulton give Evans an ironic smile as he and Rodriguez step outside. The door closes and we FADE. 
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 1, 2011 19:16:39 GMT -5
(Tytan and LD Williams are working through some stuff in the training ring. When a delivery guy enters.)
DG: Delivery for Mr. Tytan and Williams.
(The two head over and check it out. Tytan reads the card.)
Tytan: "Good Luck at ROH. Get those Kings of Wrestling! Signed the BKK"
LD: Hey, its a fruit basket. I was getting hungry. (He grabs an apple and takes a bite.)
Tytan: Do they realize that we are coming from them?
LD: It is a beautiful place to live in Eric's world. Either that or he is one Hell of a genius.
Tytan: Look at the gene pool.
LD: Like I said Eric tends to live in a very Happy place.....
(Tytan grabs a piece of fruit.)
Tytan: Point taken.
(FADE)
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 1, 2011 19:17:40 GMT -5
Firewoman is standing outside a door, pacing, and nervously smoking. Alexander walks around the corner, and she hurriedly extinguishes the cigarette.
AD: It's not like I can't smell the smoke, you know.
FW: Sorry. One bad habit a time.
AD: Okay...you ready?
FW: No.
AD: Want me to--
FW: NO!!
AD: Okay, okay...look...I wanted to give you this...for ...well, it's yours, and for luck and stuff.
He holds out a platinum band on leather cord that matches the one he is wearing.
FW: This is just full of romance, you know.
AD: Well, if you'd ever sit still for more than five minutes...
FW: Point taken. *Fire takes it and puts it around her neck* Okay...we'll um...celebrate this later. For now...shoo.
AD: Good luck.
He plants a kiss on her cheek and takes off. Firewoman takes a deep breath, steadying her nerves and opens the door. She walks through and she closes it the camera focuses in on the sign that says "Destroyitarium."
The camera angle changes and it's kind of like the old Westerns when the bad guy walks into the bar, and the music stops, everyone stops drinking and turns and stares at the door.
OBJ: *BEEELLLLLLLLLLLCH* Australian for who let the riff raff in?
FW: I... I need to have a word with you all....
Spencer comes out from behind the bar, despite Ashley trying to keep her from doing so, and walks straight up to Firewoman.
Spencer: Well, you can just type it on a memo and forward it to us. You are NOT welcome here. My brother may have forgiven you, I have no idea why, but I have NOT. So just get the fuck out of here, and save your apologies for people who give a damn.
Firewoman does not react to this, but merely takes a deep breath.
FW: First, as commissioner, if I have to address the talent I will do so, wherever and whenever I want.
DHM: Pullin' rank?
FW: Second....I'm not here to apologize. I said my peace about that in the ring, and while you can take it or leave it, that doesn't make it any less sincere.
DHM: Then say what yer fixin' t'say and get lost.
FW: Okay...well....I just wanted to say...thank you.
The various members of the Destroyitarium stare at each other incredulously.
Spencer: Thank us? For ... WHAT?
FW: You tried to stop us...me. You stood up to Trinity. No one else was. Well, Stank did, but he let his friendship with me get in the way of doing what needed to be done. I know that we weren't friends anyway, but the fact that you tried.....Thank you for trying to stop me.
They continue to stare at each other in disbelief.
FW: That's it. No other shoe to drop. Nothing I want...well, I do wish you had done something sooner....maybe then....
Her voice trails off....Everyone looks around, and Victor walks up to her.
DVD: So let me get this straight. You come in here, uninvited, and THANK US....for tasing you? And you wish we would have done it sooner?
FW: Um....that's kind of a good summary, yeah.
DVD: ...
FW: ...
DVD: You are one freaky chick.
Firewoman kind of smiles, not sure exactly what she should be doing, and Victor walks away. There's another uncomfortable moment, and Danny goes behind the bar, gets a glass and a bottle of Jameson's. He pours and walks back around to where Fire is standing, and hands her the glass. He smiles down at her. She hesitates a minute, and when no one objects, she takes it, and downs the contents.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 1, 2011 19:19:27 GMT -5
Hospital Sao Lucas da PUCRS, Porto Alegre, Brazil
More intensive care was needed to bring The President back up to speed, and so he was shipped to the finest hospital in Brazil. Sexy Nurse is walking down the hallway leading to his VIP room, a large penthouse taking up the whole corner of the burn ward. She is holding some paperwork and is biting her lip, rather nervous and glancing down at the floor. As she rounds the opened door to his room, she looks up and is greeted with an ever bigger shock.
The President is not there.
SN: Nurse! Doctor!!! Somebody!!
Various staff members come running, and upon seeing the empty room begin searching it while others rush for the phones. A lone nurse stays to talk with Sexy Nurse.
SN: This is horrible! You have to find him!
Nurse: Que?
SN: Argh! *She begins waving the paperwork in front of the staff nurse.* You don't understand! We just got back some really weird readings from his last EEG. We need to get him in for some neuroimaging; who knows what is going on in his head right now! He's not even in any condition to be standing without a walker out of bed! YOU HAVE TO FIND HIM!
Nurse: .....que?
With a scream, Sexy Nurse shoves the paperwork at the nurse and stomps off, resolved to look for The President herself. The nurse blinks a few times, then glances at EEG results and write-up. With wide eyes, she rushes to the nearest doctor and shows them to him. The doctor glances over the paperwork, then grimly walks to the closest phone and places a call.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 1, 2011 19:20:35 GMT -5
*Fade in to the Arena de los Muchos Espectadores in El Alto, Bolivia, where we find El Lobo Sangriento TALKING~!, as is his wont, to a Sexy Female Journalist. This one just happens to be numbered 41…
SFJ: Any idea why we’re still in Bolivia?
ELS: No one’s done a travel promo yet.
SFJ: Makes sense. So, you got the stip you wanted for your match at Mayhem against Alex Darling and Commissioner Firewoman. Happy about that?
ELS: Absolutely. The Onslaught rules really play to my strengths. It’s all about wrestling the way it should be. Mutual respect in the ring, playing by the rules. It’s pure wrestling. I love it.
SFJ: And what about your comment that you want to have all of your matches contested under Onslaught rules until you win the title? Are you saying you don’t think you’ll beat Darling and Firewoman for the title shot?
ELS: Not at all. There’s nothing saying that I’d get my shot at the title next week. It could be a month. It could be a year. All it says is that I get the shot. I’ll leave it up to management to decide when that happens. Until that time, I wrestle under Onslaught rules. In the meantime, I get at least one Onslaught rules match under my belt this week.
SFJ: Have you considered the fact that you’re essentially in a handicap match? I mean, you can’t seriously expect a husband and wife to try to beat each other when they have a mutual opponent that they can team up on, can you?
ELS: I actually think it might be to my advantage. Even if they work together and get me down, who goes for the pin? Does Darling do the chivalrous thing and step aside to give his wife the win? Can Firewoman contain her competitive nature long enough to allow her husband to get a title shot? Things could get interesting.
SFJ: Thanks for your time, Lobo. I’ll see you on the bus.
ELS: Bus? Are you nuts? That’d take way too long. We’re flying. And I’m pretty sure people are packing up to go to the airport now…
*Lobo looks around and sees the OOWF wrestlers and crew packing up to leave the Arena de los Muchos Espectadores…
ELS: Yep. Definitely packing up to go. See you in Urugay.
*FADE*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 1, 2011 19:21:28 GMT -5
CUT to the OOWF charter flight where The Crusher Stan Fulton is sitting across two seats towards the back of the plane. Next to him is his attaché, Martha Rodriguez. Crusher’s hands are gripping the armrests hard enough to leave impressions.
MR: “Relax. Nothing’s going to happen.”
SF: “Easy for you to say. You’re not scared of flying.”
MR: “Everybody is scared of something.”
SF: “Well we’ve only touched on my phobia. And it’s not flying per se.”
MR: “What is it then?”
SF: “I’d rather not go into it in front of a Ninja-Cam 5000.”
Rodriguez turns and sees the ubiquitous cameras throughout the plane.
MR: “They rigged the whole plane with cameras?”
SF: “Never know when there might be something worthwhile happening for OOWF-TV. The only places that aren’t rigged are the cockpit and the lavatories. I think that’s where Madame Commissioner Firewoman takes her smoke breaks.”
MR: “She hates that title.”
SF: “Which is exactly why we all use it. I feel the need for a promo. Do you mind being the interviewer?”
MR: “Nope. Let me find that wireless microphone.”
Rodriguez digs through her carryon bag and pulls out a wireless microphone with an OOWF flag on it.
MR: “Reporting for OOWF-TV, I’m Martha Rodriguez. We’re speaking today with OOWF Intercontinental Champion The Crusher Stan Fulton on the plane to Paso de los Toros, Uruguay for this coming Wednesday’s Midweek Mayhem. Crusher, this week your new title is not on the line as you face the other three singles title holders: Onslaught champion Chris Evans and World Heavyweight Champion Stank. The prize is a shiny new trophy which our CEO Ecosystem has yet to reveal.
“Let’s talk about your opponents.”
SF: “Alright. Stank I know very well. We’re pals. I don’t think I’ll ever be one of his inner circle like the Five was and is, but I think we still get along fine. Tough SOB. Moves quick. Lots of power. Very difficult to even get into a pinning position let alone pin. Contrary to others’ opinions, probably the best wrestler this company has ever known. Longest reigning World and IC title holder? Back to back Wrestler of the Year? Yeah, he’s the best we have. Lots of respect out to him.”
MR: “And Chris Evans?”
SF: “I believe he wrestles for the company, too.”
MR: “Seriously?”
SF: “What’s there to say? He’s got some talent; heck, he defeated JP Sparxx for the Onslaught title and Sparxx is one of the best new talents we have here. He got to the finals of the OOWF Invitational, defeating me as a matter of fact to get there. But he’s always one step short of achieving greatness. Gets to the finals of tournaments and never grabs the brass ring. Hell I have more title reigns than he does and that counts his Trios title where Ravenna and Crete carried his ass. And now? He’s being carried again. Teaming up with that slimeball, Eric O’Mac and having a posse of fifteen do the dirty work for him?
“I’m a four time Onslaught title holder, six time DDT Iron Man champion and current Intercontinental champion. And all that has been done in less than twelve months. This is Evan’s first go ‘round with the Onslaught title and he’s been with the company what? Three or four years? Wouldn’t be surprised if he loses the belt soon. Probably due to interference from SUPREME.”
MR: “Let’s segue from one member of SUPREME to another. You’ve said Matt Folz can have a shot at your Intercontinental title and he may get that as he faces our CEO, Junichiro “Ecosystem” Muyo this Wednesday. Why did you offer the title shot to Folz?”
SF: “Two reasons. One, because I hated the way he lost the title. It was a petty decision by Eco just to claim he’s a Grand Slam champion. It’s ludicrous and I hope the Board of Directors come to their senses soon and strikes Eco’s reign from the histories.
“And two, because I want to show Matt that he’s chosen wrong by hitching his ass to Eric O’Mac and SUPREME. Because I don’t think he can beat me without his posse interfering. I would imagine Eco is thinking the same thing.”
MR: “Do you expect a lot of interference the next few weeks?”
SF: “Of course. Like it or not, I’ve got a target on me now holding this belt. And to quote our commissioner, that sparkles with me. This is where I want to be. Near the top of our profession. One day I hope to take my place amongst the upper echelon of the OOWF. That day is not today.
“For now, I am ranked #2 and the virtual number one contender to the OOWF World Heavyweight title. So for all you doubters, stick that in your pipe and smoke it.”
MR: “Strong words from the IC champ. For OOWF-TV, I’m Martha Rodriguez.”
Rodriguez puts her microphone away and leans back in her seat.
SF: “Not one of my better promos.”
MR: “True, but not one of your worst either. Those early ones where you were walking in cargo pants and a Panama hat? Atrocious.”
SF: “Hey! I thought those were pretty good considering no one knew who I was.”
LD Williams turns around from the seat in front of Fulton.
LDW: “No one knows who you are now.”
SF: “Everyone’s a comedian.”
LD smirks and sits back down.
MR: “Hey didn’t his momma kill your former manager?”
SF: “Continuity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, Martha. We’ll just let that one go.”
Rodriguez shrugs.
MR: “So you feeling better?”
SF: “I’ll let you know when we land.”
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 1, 2011 19:22:21 GMT -5
*Davin, Samantha, Shawn and Moony are all in the airport with their rolling bags or whatever. They walk past the line of OOWF workers in line and all start laughing almost uncontrollably. Pointing. Making a spectacle.*
DM: Suckers.
SDM: Yeah. Seriously. This is the best thing you ever did.
SFJ420: And we, like, have Stank to thank for it.
OGMSJ: How's that for irony?
SDM: Um, a pretty weak association to irony?
OGMSJ: SHUT UP SAM!
SDM: Hey, you asked.
DM: Be nice, Shawn.
OGMSJ: I don't WANT TO BE NICE! I WANT TO GO HOME! I'M SICK OF BEING AROUND THE MUD PE-
SFJ420: SHAWN! Dude!
OGMSJ: Ughhh....YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
DM: *pats Shawn on the head and puts his arm around her* Listen, in 2 weeks or whatever, we'll be in Port Stanley in the Falkland Islands. Do you know where that is?
OGMSJ: *calmer* Not really.
DM: It's off the coast of Argentina.
OGMSJ: Ok...
DM: And it's a protectorate of the British Government.
OGMSJ: Ok...wait. You mean, there's British stuff there?
DM: I should say so. There was a war about it and everything.
OGMSJ: When?
DM: Before you were born.
OGMSJ: You're old.
DM: Point is, you should...uh..."feel more comfortable" there. Before we get back home. After that. Can you handle a couple weeks? Because, I mean, you managed 2 weeks in China...
OGMSJ: Yeah, yeah, I guess so.
DM: Good. Now, since we don't have to wait in line with the rest of the rabble, I say we take advantage of the Airport Bar and talk about how much Run DLP will dominate their trios match. Who's with me?
*They all say yes and head off to the bar*
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 1, 2011 19:23:08 GMT -5
The camera comes on, and we’re in an office somewhere, where exactly though we can’t tell. IQ is talking on his cell phone. We catch him in mid-sentence.
IQ: …wasn’t a fair showing, but it did give some indications. Yes, I’ll be watching more carefully now. No, no, the plan is still intact. I’m going to reach out to them now. Fine. Bye.
IQ dials another number, sits waiting while it rings.
IQ: Voicemail…figures.
IQ continues to wait for the message to play and finally gets the beep.
IQ: Mr. Evans, this is Isaac Quincy Warner, Psykle’s mentor. Listen, while we can appreciate your getting involved in the match due to your issues with Mr. Darling, we need to ask that you refrain from doing so in the future. Some very specific tests are currently being run, and your interference in the matches could lead to, well, let’s just call them adverse side effects. Again, thank you for understanding, and please appreciate our reaching out to you like this. If you have any questions or want to discuss this further, please give me a call back. Good bye.
The door to the office opens just as IQ hangs up, and SFJ13 walks in.
IQ: Ah, Ms. Jannety, I was wondering how you were. We haven’t seen you since Peru. Everything OK?
SFJ13: No, everything is not OK. You sent me off to go look for Psykle in one direction while you went in the other, I figured you would have called me to tell me you found him. I was still looking for him and missed my flight!
IQ: I’m sorry about that, but you never did give me your cell phone number. You should have called me, I would have sent one of the GeniusIQ Industries jets to pick you up.
SFJ13: Well now you tell me! Where’s Psykle?
IQ: Downstairs in the gym, why?
SFJ13: Well, I haven’t seen him since before the Pay-Per-View, and I wanted to talk to him and see how he’s doing.
IQ: He’s doing just fine. He’s in the middle of an important part of his training regimen though, so why don’t I have my personal secretary, Miss Goldendollar, give you a tour of the facilities? When you’re done that, Psykle should be done his workout and free to help you.
IQ presses a button on his desk, and a very tall, statuesque blonde walks in from the outer office.
MG$: Yes Mr. Warner?
IQ: Miss Goldendollar, can you give Ms. Jannety here a tour of the facilities? When you’re done just meet us down in conference room twenty four.
MG$: Right away, sir. Ms. Janetty, if you’d care to follow me, please?
SFJ13 follows Miss Goldendollar out, and IQ picks up his phone and makes another call.
IQ: She’s back. No, I don’t know how she found this place, but I’ll find out. Yes, it will be taken care of.
IQ hangs up and we fade to black.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 1, 2011 20:00:09 GMT -5
~~~ Chad and Zane are... somewhere in South America having dinner (have they boarded the plane yet? or have we arrived? WHO KNOWS?!?!?!?!?!?) Zane answers a phone call ~~~ Zane: WHAT!?!?! ............ You can't be serious? ............... Why? ........ He CAN'T DO that! ................. That man HAS to be stopped! ~~~ Zane angrily slams his phone on the table, knocking over his water glass and startling several nearby diners, who glance over wearily at the angry 6'7 320 pound man, ~~~ Chad: Whoa whoa man, calm yourself. What was all of that? Zane: Davin. CEO The Ecosystem has decided to strip us of the Campeonas de Trios. Chad: Holy Crap! Why? Zane: Apparently, he has decided to discard the Championship all together and replace it with the Muyo Cup, awarded each week to the wrestler who "Most closely epitimizes the greatness of Junichro Muyo" Chad: You're kidding?  Zane: I wish. We're curtain jerking against a couple of locals. Chad: An we had just spent all that time cataloging the frequency of Danny & Jack's double team moves! Zane: I know. I kind of liked that too. ~~~ They sit and eat in silence. Zane's phone rings again. ~~~ Zane: Yeah..... NO! NO! NO! ... He can't DO that! I mean, the tent city was bad, but at least it was accomodations.... Cost cutting? Sheesh....... Thatnbks for the heads up...... ~~~ Zane again hangs up the phone. Chad eyes him wearily... ~~~ Chad: Do I even want to ask? Zane: (still visibly fuming) Probably not Chad: ... Zane: ... Chad: ... Zane: ....... Eco's latest decree. No more backstage lodging. He has found us all..... get this.... HOST families in each city we will be forced to stay with. No Exceptions! Chad: I..... This is insane. It's as if he wan't everyone to revolt. Zane: I thought he did from the onset of all this. Now, I'm DAMN sure! ~~~ Zane pounds the table with the curse word (remember folks, They almost NEVER cuss) Chad looks shocked, and once again, a water glass takes the fall. Zane is visibly fuming, turning red, and breathing heavily ~~~ Chad: You need to calm down man, we will figure this out. Zane: (Slowly) I am calm. ~~~ Zane's phone rings a third time Chad winces at the sound and stares at Zane while he stares at it... then answers ~~~ Zane: What do YOU want?..................... No we aren't there yet......... Dinner...... You BACKSTABBING NO GOOD LYING PIECE OF CRAP!!! ~~~ Zane bolts up and overturns the table. patrons scatter as Zane begins kicking chairs left and right, throwing anything he can get his hands on. Chad stands back, knowing that it's best to let him rage and stay out of the way. Chad, thinking quickly, pulls a wad of bills out of his pocket and finds the waiter, dumps them all in his hands, and struggles to herd Zane out the door. Once outside they walk down the street a block or so before Zane slows and leans against a window ~~~ Chad: MAN! What was THAT? Zane: Stank. Chad: Oh no.... Zane: Yeah, he's conversed with Eco and has rethought his position. There wont be contract negotiations. We won't have a contract. Chad: As of When? Zane: April. Chad: But today IS April!!! Zane: I know. It's your birthday. Chad: This Birthday sucks! ~~~ Chad slumps down to the ground and sits there, almost child like, pouting and shaking his head. ~~~ Chad: Well.... back to Texas? Zane: I suppose. It'll be nice to see Bridgette. Chad: I can't believe he called us April 1st to tell us our contracts were expiring and wouldn't be renewed.... especially after his little talk the other night..... Davin was right about him all along. Zane: And on your birthday..... April 1st....... (voice trails away slowly.....) Chad: Yeah...... (Suddenly snaps his head up) My Birthday...... is today.... today is...... Zane: APRIL FOOLS DAY! GOTCHA! ~~~ Chad pops up and smacks Zane on the shoulder Zane laughs a really loud, over the top belly laugh as we fade..... ~~~ |
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 2, 2011 17:53:55 GMT -5
Ecosystem is watching OOWF-TV from his unusually posh hotel room.Eco: Interesting. I should consider that. A phone connected to the television rings. Eco presses a button.Eco: Hold on, I'll put you on speaker. Legal Counsel Josef Cohen appears on the television.Eco: Do we have the corporate video approved and ready to go? Josef: I don't know why we had to steal all that Lonely Island footage... Eco: But it can be considered parody-fair-use, right? Josef: (sighs) I suppose. We'd probably get away in court with-- Eco: Great, play it for me again.  WATCH THE ACTUAL VIDEO HERE!Eco: (singing) Promote synergy...like a boss! Love it. Love it, Josef. What else is on today's agenda? Josef: Well, you're wrestling Matt Folz at Mayhem. It might be good to drum up excitement if you addressed him directly. Eco: Certainly. I'll see to it this recording is passed on. Eco walks toward another camera in his room.Eco: Hello, Matthew. As you might have guessed, I am affording you the opportunity to get past me for the title shot simply because Lucas Mann, our Corporate Champion, requested I do so out of the goodness of his heart. So let's be clear: in my mind, from all the way back to Team TEaM, to your current business with Alexander Darling, you are still a traitor. For that reason alone, no matter what the circumstances of my stripping you of the belt, Stan Fulton is a more honorable champion than you will EVER be. You think you're going to be able to take me on this Wednesday? I may have lost a match or two to Mr. Fulton, but the man is a freak of nature, over double my weight. You have no genetic power advantage over me, Folz...it's just your pedigree versus mine. And let's compare, shall we? You have: 1 Intercontinental Title Reign, 3 Onslaught Title Reigns, and a couple Invitational Victories. Nice. I am a GRAND SLAM CHAMPION, a HALL OF FAMER, the FOUNDER OF THE OOWF, officially recognized by the Board of Directors of the OOWF as the GREATEST WRESTLER EVER. But as you step into my ring this week...and it is my ring, my financing, my stock options that keep that ring held together...you should consider my greatest accomplishment, and how you stack up.... ...See, I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage Called the blood of the exploited working class... But they've overcome their shyness now, They're calling me Your Highness now, And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God." Eco blows a kiss as the scene...FADES
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 2, 2011 17:55:00 GMT -5
Firewoman and Alexander Darling are SITTING~! in the Darling Luxury Suites. Darling is reading a magazine, and occasionally looking over as he watches Firewoman trying to figure out the paper work she has as commissioner.
FW: Why do we care what the Ohio Athletic Commission says? We're in South America.
AD: Cos we're registered there. As a company.
FW: Whatever...
AD: You know, if you stopped whining and just did it, you'd have it done. It's not rocket science. Then we MIGHT be able to go out for dinner. Besides don't you have an office?
FW: Lucky is using it, dealing with things I don't need to handle directly.
AD: Like getting Newcastle for Fulton.
FW: Yep. Besides, Sen....er, Muyo wants us all to act like birds or something....
AD: What?
FW: He said we need to tweet twice a day. I don't know what that's all about, but he's fucking crazy.
Firewoman goes back to her paper work. Alexander weighs whether or not to explain Ecosystem's edict to her, but he smiles instead, and goes back to his magazine. Alexis comes in, arm still in a sling, and looks back and forth between the two of them.
LD: What are you two doing?
AD: Uh...reading?
FW: Signing things.
LD: Well, isn't this just cozy.
AD: Now that you mention it...it is, kinda.
FW: Yeah, it's nice.....nice, quiet Saturday. We should have a fireplace.
AD: No. You and fireplaces....
LD: No....No, no, no....you guys DO know you have a match, right?
AD: Of course.
FW: Duh,...Commissioner.
LD: Why are you not preparing for that?
AD: What's to prepare for?
FW: It's against the new guy. Piece of cake.
LD: What?
AD: It's all handled. We double team him until he's not a threat anymore.
FW: Right. It'll be fun, we haven't tagged in an while...at least not in the ring.
LD: Stop...what happens when he's out and you two are facing each other.
AD: Oh, that's easy...
FW&AD: I win.
Firewoman and Alexander look at each other in surprise.
FW: No....
AD: Yes....
FW: I'm not going to let you win.
AD: Who said you would have to let me?
FW: I think our singles' record against each other speaks for itself....
AD: So? You're still not yourself, besides...
FW: I am very much myself and will be more than happy to show you when we get in the ring.
AD: It's onslaught rules, Lis....you can't use any of your usual tricks to--
FW: Trick? I didn't trick you in our first match.
AD: You cheated though. I was supposed to win.
FW: But you didn't, did you.
AD: Yeah, and you almost got fired.
FW: Except for the HUGE pop it got and the fact that Aries spoke up for me.
AD: Doesn't matter...I'm bigger and stronger.
FW: And I'm faster and smarter.
AD: Yeah, well, maybe this time I'll be the one who shoots on you.
FW: Yeah, what happened to the last guy who did that?
AD: I dunno, I guess maybe you left him at the altar?
Fire and Alex have argued themselves to their feet, and they're standing only a few inches from each other.
LD: STOP IT!!
They both look at Alexis.
LD: There IS a third person in the match you know, and if you don't focus on him, this conversation is pointless.
They look at each other, and smile.
FW: You're right, Lexie....We should go maybe practice some of those double teams we're good at, and maybe a few we haven't done for a while.
AD: Yeah, okay.....and then dinner.
FW: Fine....let's get changed and go to the training ring.
They go into their room. As they are walking in they continue "discussing"
FW: I'm still going to win.
AD: Are not.
Alexis shakes her head and we FAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaade
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 5, 2011 19:21:58 GMT -5
**Random Bar*
We see El Lobo Sangriento sitting at a table signing some autographs for the local fans while chatting a few of the lovely local ladies. From behind ELS a bottle of tequila is placed on the table and El Lobo looks over his shoulder and we see Alexander Darling standing there. El Lobo is about to push away from the table when Alex places a hand on his shoulder and just walks around the table and pulls out the chair opposite Sangriento. A waitress comes over and puts two shot glasses down on the table. Alex pours two glasses and the two wrestlers clink glasses before downing the shot.
El Lobo Sangriento: To what do I owe the honor, Mr. Darling.
Alexander: None of that necessary Lobo. We’re colleagues now. Call me Alex.
ELS: Okay then, hello Alex…what can I do for ya?
Alexander: Was just thinking, you’ve been around for a while and we haven’t really been properly introduced. And we’ve already met in the ring once so I just felt it’d be right for us to sit down and have a drink.
ELS: And do you do this with every new wrestler? Or is this just a way to soften me up for the match with you and your wife this week.
Alexander: Nothing of the sort Lobo. I know I haven’t been around much recently, but I heard what you said after Evans and the rest of those clowns attacked me and I appreciate the offer.
ELS: If I’m going to climb the ladder here, I’m going to do it the right way. Their attack on you was the wrong way.
Alexander: You know, there was a time when I would have shown up to this bar with this bottle of tequila and this encounter would have been much, much different. But times change…people change and based on what you’ve said, you have my word that I’ll have your back as well.
ELS: That is good to hear, Alexander. But it doesn’t change the fact that I am basically walking into what is essentially a handicap match this week.
Alexander: I know that’s what you think and I know that’s what it looks like, but Fire and I, let’s just say we won’t be taking it easy on each other.
ELS: Come on man…I’m no fool. You’re husband and wife…
Alexander: Exactly…do you think either of us want to have the other win the match to hold over the other’s head. It’s bad enough she always seems to get the upper hand every time we wrestle…I can’t have her beating me in another Onslaught match. You have nothing to worry about with us taking it easy on one another.
ELS: For now, I will take your word, but do not doubt that if I sense any shenanigans that I will do my best to counter them and come out victorious.
Alexander: I have no doubt you shall try, Lobo. But we’ve already seen what happens when we step into the ring with one another.
Alexander smirks as he says this and pours another two shots of tequila. El Lobo picks up his shot and just before he clinks it…
ELS: I may have some surprises yet up my sleeve, Alexander. Cheers.
The two down their shots and the scene fades as more shots are poured and drank.
*Fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 5, 2011 19:23:24 GMT -5
Kai and Aina are sitting at Ric's Sub Shop (Wrestlemania Munchers - half price). A new SFJ (let's call her Amber) approaches them.
SFJA: Flyin' Hawai'ians, you finally have your shot at regaining the Tag Team Championships you lost a few months back. Can I get your thoughts?
Aina: Sure. Brass Knuckle Kings, while ourselves and Texpress were having an epic best of seven series to determine the true best tag team in OOWF, you clowns stole the Tag Titles. Since then, you have made a mockery of the titles we hold dear. Those are our belts boys. Be ready to give them back on Wednesday.
Kai: Are you ready for Lua, haoles? We will hurt you. We will embarrass you. We will take back what is rightfully ours! Hana Hoi!
Kai digs in to his sandwich. Ambe holds the mic in front of Aina again.
Aina: What he said. Aloha.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 5, 2011 19:24:11 GMT -5
*Fade in* as SFJ Amber, looking to follow-up on her promo with The Flyin' Hawai'ians, catches up with Bryce Larson, who's leaving Gus Johnson's Barber Shop after getting a clean-up.
SFJA: Bryce, I assume you've seen the comments from the Flyin’ Hawai'ians?
BL: Of course I have. I think they're bitter,
SFJA: Because you and Eric have the tag team titles?
BL: No, because Eric won't send them pineapple.
SFJA: What do you think of them calling The Brass Knuckle Kings "clowns," saying you "stole" the OOWF World Tag Team Championships, and that you've made a "mockery" of those titles?
BL: You caught where I told you I saw the promo, right?
SFJA: Yeah, um, sorry.
BL: No worries. Look, Amber, and I'll just address this to you, because I know those guys will see it. Compared to the manner in which some titles are won and lost around here, what Eric orchestrated and we executed is downright honorable. I assume when he said "clowns" he mis-spoke and meant "Kings." I'll give him a mulligan on that one. It can be overwhelming for some people to address us, since KINGS...REIGN...SUPREME. And making these titles a mockery? Our job is to hold on to these belts, by any means necessary. We haven't made a mockery out of them, we've made them more valuable. Look at how bad The Hawai'ians want them back. They're worth more today then the day we won them. Two teams battled in an [fingerquotes]"epic"[/fingerquotes] best-of-seven just for one title opportunity. That's an increase in value.
Gus Johnson comes up and stands beside Bryce.
BL: And Wednesday, when it comes time for Eric and I to handle our business, we will handle it in the only way we know. Gus?
Gus Johnson: COLD! BLOODED!
*Fade out*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 5, 2011 19:25:12 GMT -5
*Stank is in his office on the phone.*
Stank - Are you sure...? He won't be happy. Okay, Okay, whatever. And what about Alex...? ... .... ... ... That's what I thought you guys would say. Fine.
*Stank hangs up the phone and punches the intercom button.*
Stank - Tara get me Juni on the phone.
JS - Okay, sir.
Stank - Justin???
JS - Yes?
Stank - Where the fuck is Tara?
JS - I sent her away, champ.
Stank - Justin for the LAST fucking TIME... YOU ARE NOT my DAMN RECEPTIONIST!
JS - But I sleep on your couch?
Stank - AND STOP SLEEPING ON MY FUCKING COUCH!
JS - Can I borrow five dollars?
*Stank BOLTS upright from his seat, reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. He fishes through until he finds a ten dollar bill. He walks outside his office to where Justin Sane sits and SMACKS the 10 spot on his receptionist's desk.*
Stank - HERE! Take it!
JS - Gee thanks, man!
*Justin rises from his seat and snatches up the bill. He turns to walk out the front door, but before reaching it, Stank calls after him.*
Stank - And BRING me BACK my CHANGE, MORON!
*Justin skips out of the office. Stank walks a little down the hallway, past Firewoman's office to CEO the Eco's door. He knocks and enters , but Eco is not there. When Stank turns around he is face to face with The President who stands there on crutches and is flanked by Sexy Nurse and some dude in a uniform.*
TP - Where's my office?
Stank - YOU don't HAVE an office, MARK! You have a locker room. I suggest you go find it.
TP - That's no way to speak to your GM!
Stank - For the last fucking time. YOU ARE NOT THE GM! Get out of my way!
*Stank pushes past The President and heads back into his office. He shuts the door and walks back to his desk. He pulls over his office phone and scrolls through the numbers until he reaches the one he is looking for. He presses the dial button and the voice of Samantha Darling Moreland comes up over the speaker.*
Stank - Sam hi, it's Lucas.
SDM - Lucas hi... I can't believe you actually came through for us. I can't believe I'm actually going to thank you...
Stank - Yeah about-
SDM - You won't believe how happy Davin is about us not having to ride with the rest of the riff raff.
Stank - I'm sure he is.
SDM - Oh I assure you, he is. Maybe... maybe things could be different between you two. It would be a nice change of pace.
Stank - I agree, but listen-
SDM - Did you get your Fruit basket?
Stank - Sam I... wait... what fruit basket?
SDM - We had it sent to your office.
Stank - Justin.
SDM - Who?
Stank - Nevermind. Sam please let me explain to you why I'm calling.
SDM - Okay shoot.
Stank - Uh... I had a talk with... the Board of Directors about the clause in your contract allowing you guys your own travel arrangements.
SDM - ....and...?
Stank - .... They agree with the CEO that Fire's edict is just a one time thing. I'm sorry but I couldn't get them to make the clause permanent.
SDM -
Stank - I want you to know... I fought Eco on this. He's the one who took it to the board. I discussed it with them, but... they won't act. I'm sorry.
SDM -
Stank - It's still a very lucrative contract. Davin is one of the top three highest paid talents here.
SDM -
Stank - Plus I was able to get you guys first class seats whenever they are available.
SDM -
Stank - Sam? Hello? Are you still there?
SDM - ... ... I see. Well... At least you tried.
Stank - Look maybe I can make it so it only applies to flight travel. There may be some wiggle room there.
SDM - I understand. Thanks for calling.
Stank - Sure. You have any questions... just give me a ring.
*Stank ends the call with a sigh of relief.*
Stank - That went... well... at least so far.
*Stank looks over at his to do list and scrolls down to the next item as the camera fades.*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 5, 2011 19:26:21 GMT -5
*Stank opens his eyes and finds himself sitting alone at his desk. He rubs his eyes then rises from his seat. He walks over to the window and looks out. The sky is overcast but the weather is not what catches his attention. Down at the parking lot people are milling about in an unusual manner. They shuffle along aimlessly as if they are...*
Stank - Sleep walking?
*Stank rubs his eyes again and turns from the window. He walks outside his office and spies Justin Sane crouched down on the floor, hovering over... something.*
Stank - Justin! I thought I TOLD you-
*Stank's words are interrupted by the sight of blood splattered against the wall. Justin Sane turns his head and looks up at the OOWF World Champion. Blood is caked around Sane's mouth while fresh blood drizzles down his chin as he chews on the flesh of a severed female hand, likely belonging to Stank's receptionist.*
Stank - JESUS! JUSTIN! What the FUCK have you DONE!??
*Justin moans, rises to his feet, and LUNGES at Stank! Stank knocks Justin to the side and lifts up a nearby chair, keeping it between Justin and himself.*
Stank - JUSTIN! What the FUCK'S the MATTER WIT CHOO!??
*Sane rises to his feet and LUNGES at Stank again with an unholy hiss spewing from his mouth. Stank lifts the chair and SLAMS it down on top of Justin Sane's head! Justin lies motionless at Stank's feet. The big man drops the chair and turns where he sees his reception standing there without her hand. Bite marks can be seen up and down her bare arm and a chunk of flesh hangs from her neck.*
Stank - Tara? Holy shit what the FUCK is going on here???
*Tara jumps at Stank who sidesteps her and rushes past her out into the hallway of Random encounters. Stank looks down the hall and sees Darius Prentiss shuffling down the corridor. A huge blood stain runs down from Darius's mouth, onto his chest, and down his pants leg. He carries a severed arm, apparently his own which he periodically takes a bite out of as he walks toward Stank. Behind Prentiss Stank sees DH Magnusson aimlessly walking along, and further down Stank spies Aina, or is it Kai? He can't tell which. Stank turns the opposite direction and sees more OOWF wrestlers, and staff, milling about in the hall. All in the same condition as Prentiss, his receptionist, and Justin Sane. All...*
Stank - SWEET BEANS AND CHICKEN WINGS!! ZOMBIES!!
*Stank turns and heads back toward his office. Tara and Justin block his way. Stank grabs a nearby fire extinguisher and sprays it at the zombies. They cower away enough that Stank can edge past. Just as the big man does so, he SLAMS the extinguisher down on top of Tara's head, caving in her skull. Stank looks over his shoulder and shuffling down the hallway toward him is zombie Davin Moreland, perhaps the greatest zombie of all time! Following Moreland is zombie CEO the ECO, who fancies himself a zombie messiah. Right now all they want to do is eat Stank. Stank tosses the extinguisher at Moreland and ducks into his office, slamming the door shut! Stank runs over to his desk and shoves it in front of his door. Outside we hear the undead POUNDING on the door desperately trying to get in. Stank backs away slowly from the door and desk.*
Stank - What the fuck am I going to do?
*Stank looks over to the side and sees Happy Dethbat II lying on the floor. Bits of flesh are stuck in it's barbed wire mesh. Blood stains the floor where it sits.*
MHJ - Hello Stank.
*Stank WHIRLS around and finds Moosehead Jack slumped on the floor. He looks like hell. His jacket is torn. His face is splattered with blood. He holds his arm like he's injured.*
Stank - Moose!
MHJ - I got bit.
Stank - Oh shit.
MHJ - You have to kill me.
Stank - No! We can get you help!
MHJ - It's too late for that, besides there's no one left to help. Everyone's dead.
Stank - I'm not dead!
MHJ - You will be my friend... you will be.
Stank - NO!
*The undead have broken through the door led by zombie Firewoman and zombie Alexander Darling! They desperately try to make it around Stank's desk, the only obstruction between them and their prey! Dozens perhaps, hundreds of undead OOWF wrestlers, staff, officials, and fans frantically reach, pushing forward, all trying to get into Stank's office.*
MHJ - Kill me before they do Lucas.
*Stank turns and looks at the scene of zombies moaning loudly and pushing at Stank's desk. Stank lays eyes on HDBII and then back at Moose who smiles wearily.*
MHJ - Kill me now.
Fade
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 5, 2011 19:28:13 GMT -5
*Stank opens his eyes and finds himself sitting alone at his desk. He rubs his eyes then rises from his seat. He walks over to the window and looks out. The sky is overcast and the landscape is overrun by sand... lots and lots of sand!*
Stank - The fuck?
*Stank rubs his eyes again and turns from the window. He walks outside his office and spies his receptionist's desk covered in cobwebs. The entire room actually is blanketed in cobwebs. The metal framing of the receptionist's desk is rusted through and the wood furniture and seating is in a state of advanced decay. Stank makes his way out to the Hall of Random encounters and it is eerily quiet.*
Stank - Hello? Is ANYBODY here?
*Stank listens to his voice echo down the hall. He follows the echo and eventually finds his way to catering. Cobwebs cover this area as well. Tables and chairs appear to be intact, but are covered in dust and debris. A window is broken in and sand has made its way inside.*
Stank - What's going on around here? HELLO??
*Stank walks over to a table and touches it. It evaporates in a cloud of dust at his touch.*
Stank - Wow.
*Stank hears someone walking up behind him. He turns around and standing in front of him is a man in a robe and hood. The stranger pulls back his hood to reveal he is an old man with a long white beard and long, white, stringy hair.*
Stank - Who the fuck are you?
*The old man's eyes are cloudy and white.*
Stank - Are you blind?
Old Man - Yes.
Stank - Who are you?
Old Man - Who are you?
Stank - I'm Stank.
Old Man - Stank? Stank? Lucas Mann?
Stank - Yes.
Old Man - Impossible.
Stank - I am Lucas Mann. What the Hell happened here?
Old Man - IMPOSSIBLE!
Stank - Where is everyone??
Old Man - They're dead! I thought I was the last!
Stank - They're dead? What the fuck are you talking about?
Old Man - Everyone is GONE!
Stank - Gone?
Old Man - I'm the last! I'M THE LAST!
*The old man pulls out Happy Dethbat II from behind his robe.*
Stank - Okay now old man.
Old Man - YOU ARE NOT REAL!! EVERYONE'S GONE! I'M THE LAST!
*The old man lifts HDBII and SWINGS for Stank's head as the camera fades.*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 5, 2011 19:31:12 GMT -5
*Stank opens his eyes and finds himself sitting alone at his desk. He rubs his eyes then rises from his seat. He walks over to the window and looks out. The sky is overcast and his thoughts are interrupted by Kayfabe blasting through his front door.*
KF - STANK!
Stank - What? WHAT?
KF - You need to come with me!
Stank - What's going on? Why?
KF - No one has posted a promo in over 24 hours except you.
Stank - Relax it's usually slow over the weekend.
KF - It's TUESDAY!
Stank - WHAT??
*Stank looks at his watch and notices the date.*
Stank - How long have I been asleep?
KF - I don't know!
Stank - Aren't you hurting yourself telling me this?
KF - This is NOT the TIME for logic Stank! Come help me find the others!
Stank - What do you mean?
KF - NO ONE'S HERE!
*Stank follows Kayfabe out the door of his office and finds himself in a textbox. His very words being typed onto a laptop screen.*
Stank - WHOA! This is WEIRD!
KF - I know!
Stank - Where's the ARENA?
KF - There is no arena! OW!
Stank - You okay?
KF - It's starting to hurt, Stank. I don't know how long I can hold out!
Stank - Just breath! Somebody HELP!
*There is no sound save the faint clicking of a keyboard being typed.*
Stank - Hang in there Kay! I'll find help.
*Stank turns around and heads back into his office. Moosehead Jack is there sitting at Stank's desk.*
Stank - Moose!
MHJ - Spot.
Stank - Spot?
MHJ - Yeah. What's the matter with you?
Stank - Since when do you call me "Spot"
MHJ - Well if I knew your real name I guess that's what I'd call you.
Stank - Are you high? You do know my name! It's Terry!
MHJ - Terry?
Stank - Wait... that's not right. My name is...
*Stank sees Happy Dethbat II on his desk. Blood drips off the barbed-wire mesh forming a small pool which runs over the side of the desk.*
Stank - I... don't know what's happening?
MHJ - Maybe this will help.
*Moosehead Jack picks up HBDII rises from his seat, walks around the desk, and SWINGS! The bat connects with Stank's head as the camera fades.*
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