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Post by BookerShark on Apr 9, 2011 1:45:01 GMT -5
Danny Taylor and DVD are seen watching clips of OOWFTV. Danny is skipping to various parts, and stops when he sees the clip of Darling attacking Evans. Danny frowns and shakes his head. DVD sees this and frowns.
DVD: What is wrong Danny, another "hero" (he does finger quotes for the last word) let you down. Sad that Darling resorted to a backstage attack.
Danny shrugs a little and nods yes.
DVD: Well you shouldn't be, that is how you get ahead around here.
Danny shakes his head no.
DVD: Really? Look at the history books, who is on top? Guys like Eric and Moreland who will do whatever it takes including cheat to win. Guys like Stank and Moose and Tytan, who will bring untold levels of violence and bloodshed out to take an opponent down. Guys like Folz and Evans who will attack from behind or in the back if it gets their point across.
Danny vehemently shakes his head in disagreement.
DVD: Oh, you think some heroes will step up. You see Darling fall into old ways when the new ones aren't working. Look at the Texans, the faceiest faces ever, they let their good buddy Davin hand them belts and then crow about being division killers. And what about the (sarcastically) Super Heroes Crete and Rav?
DVD puts his hand above his eyes and squints looking around the room.
DVD: I don't see them, ohhh that's right they left.
Danny starts to frown and is getting visibly irritated.
DVD: Wake up Danny there are no more heroes left in this company. We have tried to do it your way, and it has left us stagnant. Maybe you should use the weapons instead of throwing them away. Maybe you should instigate backstage attacks instead of being forced into them. Maybe you should take advantage of referee distractions instead of being the victim of them.
Danny waves his hand in front of himself while shaking his head no. He is visibly pissed, and walks away frowning. DVD watches him go, and hears a loud Belch from behind. He turns to see a very calm Outback Jack sitting at the bar drinking a Fosters.
OBJ: That's Australian for You are wrong.
DVD: Really?
OBJ: Yeah really. Danny's a good kid with a good heart. He's young and still makes rookie mistakes, but his heart is in the right place. If he tries to change, it won't bring him success, but just heartache.
DVD: Not buying it Jack. I've read the history. You're hands are not clean. D&D used to be some right nasty bastards. You don't exactly have blood free hands.
OBJ: Never claimed I did, but Danny isn't me. I am a right nasty bastard when I need to be. It is what makes me who I am, and it works for me. It would ruin Danny.
DVD: Winning would ruin him.
OBJ: If you think acting like that would help him win, you don't know your friend as well as you think you do.
DVD looks shocked at that statement, and is stunned into silence.
OBJ: Look at DH. He is a tough bastard, one of the best brawlers around. He is also a genuinely good guy. He tried to "go heel" as they say. It was not pretty. It nearly ruined him. It wasn't until he went back to being true to himself that he found his fire again. It would be the same with Danny if not worse.
DVD seems to contemplate this and his shoulders slump.
OBJ: Being the good guy is never easy, and no one said it would be. Taking the cheap shots and the low roads is easy, anyone can do it. Danny has a good heart, it's what makes him tough, and what will bring him success. This week we have another shot at the trios titles. I don't know what Eco's game is by giving us this opportunity, but I can guarantee that Danny will be doing everything in his power to make the most of it. So will DH, and so will I. The question you have to ask yourself is will you?
DVD is taken aback at this question.
OBJ: Run DLP may or may not be at their strongest this week, they are either coming off a big win, or coming in a man down. Some would say that gives us an advantage. I say it makes it just as tough for us. We won't know what we are facing until we hit the ring. Hard to prepare for the unknown. Even so, Danny will work his ass off training and studying and doing whatever he can to be ready for the match. Me and DH will do what we can to help. He will give his all. DH will give his all. I will give my all. Will you?
DVD: What do you mean?
OBJ: You can say you are his friend and claim to have DDT's back, but that's all they are, words. Don't just accompany him to the ring. Support him, have his back, even when it's not easy to do it. Drink and Destroy has a big opportunity, you can either help us make the most of it, or bitch about it and bring us down. Ball is in your court mate.
With that Outback Jack gets up and leaves the area to get another drink. DVD is left sitting at the table looking rather humbled. The mic's pick up his next line barely audible.
DVD: He's right, I owe Danny an apology. I may not want to be a hero, but damn it, it's what we need to be.
Fade.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 9, 2011 23:53:32 GMT -5
(LD Williams and Tytan are standing with SFJ#322. Going old school on this one.)
SFJ: I am here with Regicide and you guys are going to face the Tag Champs and the Flyin' Hawaiians in a Non title match. What's your thoughts?
LD: You see it's simple Regicide was created for this. The destruction of Kings we just didn't think it was going to come around this quickly. So, Mayhem it begins we start the slow painful destruction of the Brass Knuckle Kings and we begin the road to take what will be ours. Tell them big man....
Tytan: Kings....the time has come. The time when the people have a team they can get behind. We have taken our shovel and picks and turned them into our swords and axes. Your tactics will no longer be tolerated. We are here to show you the end of your reign. Regicide is the killer of kings...and the Executioner's song can be heard in the distance getting ready for you.
Hawaiians, no offense but you are just going to get in the way. Right LD....
LD: It's true. We have no problem you becoming just another casualty. So Kings sleep well and enjoy that time with those title cause soon you will die.
(FADE)
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 9, 2011 23:54:21 GMT -5
Noelani is making a ham and cheese sandwich at catering when a random SFJ (let's call her Anita) approaches her.
SFJA: Noelani, you and the Flyin' Hawai'ians have been very quiet the last couple of weeks. Is everything okay?
N: Absolutely not. That moron BC has really bad writer's block. Or he's spending too much time looking at pictures of me.
Kayfabe runs into the shot, steals Noelani's sandwich while wagging her finger at her. She then leans against the table and eats Noelani's sandwich to make sure she doesn't do that again.
N: Fine, let's see. Ah, yes. We're really starting to get annoyed with this place.
SFJA: Why is that?
N: Well, we win a best of seven series against arguably the best tag team in OOWF history. We get our title shot, although we never got our rematch when we lost them to begin with...
SFJA: You're not gonna start screaming about a rematch like Mr. Anderson are you?
Mr. Anderson pokes his head around the corner.
Mr.A: MISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Kayfabe runs after Mr. Anderson.
N: No, you didn't let me finish slut bag.
SFJA: I'm not a...
N: Have you slept with Chad yet?
SFJA: Well...last weekend we....
N: Slut bag. Now do you job and shut up.
Anita lowers her head and holds the mic.
N: As I was saying. We get our rematch. The poser champions cheat to win. Shocking I know. Now, instead of getting our rightful rematch, we have to share it with a team that's brand new and hasn't earned anything, while we fight tooth and nail for everything we get here.
Noelani stares at Anita.
N: You gonna ask anymore questions?
SFJA: No thank you.
N: Mahalo. I need to make another sandwich. Aloha.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 9, 2011 23:55:12 GMT -5
J-P Sparxx is sitting with his girl Jewel in a dark room watching OOWF-TV. J-P seems depressed.
J-PS: Oooh!
Jewel: Hey.
J-PS: He's been travelin' on dis road so long.
Jewel: So long.
J-PS: Now he's on his way back home.
Jewel: Back home.
J-PS: Davin Moreland's dead an' gone. Dead an' gone.
They both cross themselves.
J-PS: Davs, man. Thought ya had more fight in ya dan dat, knowhatI'msayin'? Didn' even say bye yo. Dat's a'ight. I'ma do what ya couldn't lately. Dat's be da man. Da main man. An' it starts with you Stankenstein. We gon' dance agin, son. Ya ready?
Jewel: Think ya can tell us what ta do? Think ya can tell us what ta wear?
J-PS: Ya better git ready.
Jewel: Bow to the masters?
J-PS: Break it down.
Jewel starts a quick lap dance on J-P. He then pushes her off and walks towards the camera.
J-PS: Stank, dis is ma time. You play ur politics and be the GM's boy all ya want. I'ma be da champ, ya feel me? I'ma beat'cha dis week. Den I'm gonna beat'cha for da belt next week. The Spark's gon' git'cha, son. It's ma time now. Deuces.
Jewel: Git back here, baby. I ain't done!
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 9, 2011 23:55:53 GMT -5
*Stank is sitting in the bar with Moosehead Jack. They catch Sparxx's promo on the big screen above the bar.*
Stank - Ah shit.
MHJ - What?
Stank - I've been so busy I didn't realize my match with Sparxx is non-title.
MHJ - It's understandable
Stank - Probably means I'm going to lose. The champ always loses non-title matches.
MHJ - What the hell is the matter with you?
Stank - Sorry. It's been a hectic week with Moreland leaving, and Justin Sane running around acting like he works for- AH CHRIST!
*Justin Sane pops up from behind the bar*
JS - Can I get you guys another beer?
Stank - Justin, do you work here?
JS - Lemme borrow a dollar for the jukebox.
MHJ - I've got a dollar for you RIGHT HERE!
*Moose brandishes HDBIII and hops over the bar. He chases Justin down the back and through some double doors. Stank shakes his head then turns toward the camera.*
Stank - Sparkplug, this week I will beat you for the fourth time. And then the next time we meet I will beat you then. And so on, and so forth. Bottom line is... you can't beat me. End Promo.
*The camera stays on Stank as he takes a sip of his beer.*
Stank - Seriously that's all I got for now. Begone.
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 9, 2011 23:56:46 GMT -5
*We hear the old circa 2006 TNA theme music, and we get a wide shot of the Impact Zone at the lovely Universal Studios Theme Park, in beautiful Downtown Orlando. It's tapin' night, and everyone who paid good money for their tickets...er....the people who waited in line long enough to get in, are actually having a pretty enjoyable night. This has been a relatively Immortal-free taping, which is better for everyone. That is, until that shitty nWo knock-off music fires up, and Bischoff and Hogan come out. Slowly, because Hogan doesn't have any hips or knees left. Agonizingly, they finally make it out*
HH: Let me tell you somethin' brother. That Matt Morgan dude has become a real pain in my ass, brother. Let me tell you somethin' dude, brother - I've had enough of your attitude, brother.
EB: So tonight, I, Eric Bischoff, have booked a match that will teach you a lesson. Tonight! It's Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez, Gunner and Murphy!
*Crowd shits on this, because that match will very likely suck. Crappy music hits and they cut to a backstage segment. Probably involving Ken Anderson talking to himself like anyone gives a fuck. Then this is where the commercial goes as everything stops for a couple of seconds. Then the cameras turn back on, and we get the crowd shot - when suddenly, there's an eruption in the crowd as the camera pulls back to show Shawn Johnson, Moonbeam, Samantha and Davin Moreland, who is wearing his Trios Title belt, all in the front row. Davin even gets a chyron that says "Davin Moreland - OOWF Grand Slam Champion".
One of the Crucial Crew starts talking shit to the 6'10" Davin, who just sort of looks at this slob like he's out of his mind. He doesn't stop, and finally Samantha punches the dude in the throat and he falls down. Another fat slob tries to come to the defense of his Crucial Crewmate, but this time it's Davin doing the punching in the throat. This silences the Crucial Crew, who are now in fear for their lives - but the rest of the Impact Zone erupts with a "Moreland" chant, which the happy couple acknowledges. Taz says something inappropriate, and then we hear...*
BLAT BLAT
MATT MORGAN vs. HERNANDEZ, GUNNER and MURPHY - For No Fucking Reason At All Bischoff Handicap Match
Hernandez comes out ringside with Sarita and Rosita
Taz: Let the pigeons loose!
They do their pose and their Mexican flag presentation (to Boos, of course. And USA chants, because apparently Texas is part of Mexico). Gunner and Murphy come out right behind them, but no one cares about Security Guards that Wrestle. So stupid. Any way, the guitar lick fires up, and The Blueprint Matt Morgan comes to the stage, looking very fired up, and getting a big-time pop from the crowd, and they cut to a crowd shot which shows Davin and his crew, giving Morgan a raucous ovation. He comes charging down to the ring, and as soon as he's close, Rudy Charles (back for one night only!) calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
Morgan gets a couple of shots in on SuperMex before succumbing to the numbers, and a beatdown ensues. It takes a bit, but Charles is able to finally clear the ring, and we're left with Morgan (in a heap) and probably Gunner, but it could be Murphy. Who cares, really? Whomever it is is rocking the shitty "I'm a Security Guard" offense. Kicks. Punches. Mudholes. Davin is shown leading a "Bo-ring" chant. Gurphy doesn't get the message, so Davin starts a "You Can't Wrestle" chant. This time, Gurphy sees Davin do this, and starts pointing and gesturing to him from the ring. Davin just looks at him for a second with a smirk, and then points behind Gurphy. Gurphy turns around to eat a HUGE Discus Clothesline from Morgan.
Crowd: YAY!
Morgan pulls out the Greatest Hits Moveset on Gurphy. Corner Elbows. Check the watch Sidewalk Slam. The jump on the guy's neck and slide through the ropes thing. This gets cheer after cheer until he gets to the outside and Sarita blasts him with a chair. Morgan no-sells it, cause she's just a little girl, but Rosita comes from the other side and blasts him in the knee with a lead pipe. Rudy Charles sees none of this because Hernandez is doing an awesome distraction job. The beating is getting vicious on the outside, as one of the Gurphys have gotten involved with yet another chair, and Morgan is bleeding. The crowd is apoplectic.
Suddenly, the concern turns into one of the biggest pops in the history of the Impact Zone, as Samantha, Shawn and Moonbeam have hopped the guardrail and have attacked Sarita and Rosita with their own personal rebar. Davin kills one Gurphy with the Trios Title, and the other with a Carbon Footprint. Morgan, recovered for the most part, sees that and smiles as they trade a look. Morgan gets back in, but Hernandez is ready for him. He gets Morgan up for what looks to be a potential HUGE Border Toss, but Morgan reverses it INTO A HELLEVATOR! HOLY SHIT! Rudy Charles makes the academic count.
YOUR WINNER in 9:18 by PINFALL...Matt Morgan!
Post-match, Morgan gets his arm raised and he waves for all of Team Davin to get into the ring. So Cal Val has a couple of mics in her hand, and gives them out. So Cal Val!
MM: Well Davin *pop from the crowd*, gotta say thanks, man. Good lookin' out.
DM: No problem, Matt. You can thank the girls here, actually. I was gonna sit back and watch.
SDM: Yeah, that's why you said 'Sammy! Girls! Here's some rebar! Go get em!"
*Davin shrugs, and gets response for that*
DM: Anyway, as you know, Matt, and as most of you know who keep up on these things, I have severed ties with OOWF (as he points to the OOWF logo on his t-shirt) and have been looking into pursuing other options...
*Monster Pop from the crowd*
DM: But the problem is, I'm still the current OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champion with my brothers, Texpress.
*Pop for Texpress*
DM: And I've got no interest in going back. So I've got a dilemma. Know what I mean, Matt?
MM: I went to Harvard. I know what you mean, dummy.
DM: Well, no, you went to Monmouth. Although, I suppose that could be the Harvard of New Jersey.
MM: Excuse me?
DM: Shh. I'm doing something here. Is there a trash can around?
*The crowd buzzes for this while someone brings in a trash can*
DM: I should have done this a long time ago.
*He takes the Trios belt off his shoulder, and the crowd goes batshit. Davin smiles out to them as he raises the belt up...up....and spits his gum out into the can, drawing a big "awww" from the crowd*
DM: That hasn't been mint for like 2 hours now.
MM: Well, thanks for stopping by Davin. I appreciate all your-
DM: Shh. This is why you don't have the big belt yet. However, what I'm about to offer you, really the chance of a lifetime, is something that could get you there.
MM: I'm listening.
DM: Now, I won't be returning to OOWF.
*cheers*
DM: But there needs to be a 3rd guy wrestling with my brothers. Now, I need to find someone worthy of filling my spot.
Arn: That's MY spot.
DM: Whatever, Shockmaster. So I have an idea.
MM: Shoot.
DM: Matt Morgan vs. Davin Moreland - for this *pats the belt* One-Third of the Prestegious Campeonas de Trios Championship.
MM: *surprised* Wait....really?
DM: Yes.
MM: Where? When?
DM: The Impact Zone...
*pop*
DM: And....RIGHT NOW! RING THE DAMN BELL!
DAVIN MORELAND vs. MATT MORGAN - 1/3 of the Campeonas de Trios Championship Match
The bell rings, and Samantha blasts Rudy Charles (poor Rudy) in the back of the head with her microphone. The ladies bundle out of the ring as Morgan watches Rudy hit the mat. He never sees Davin coming, and he blasts him with the Trios Belt. Not, like, the regular way, but he held it by the end and pretty much whipped it at his face. Morgan is out on his feet, and leans against the turnbuckles. Davin goes to the apron and then the top rope. What's he going to do. Oh...REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER FROM THE TOP ROPE!
Terrible Referee Earl Hebner comes hobbling down the the ring just in time to make the 3-count.
YOUR WINNER in 1:21 by PINFALL...Davin Moreland! Davin Moreland is STILL 1/3 of the Campeonas de Trios Champions.
Davin grabs a mic as the ladies bundle back IN the ring, all standing around him as the crowd, such as it is, boos their collective little hearts out.
DM: Ok, first off....Heel.
*This shuts up half the crowd*
DM: Second, did you REALLY think I would come here and work for this fly-by-night organization? Bischoff? Hogan? Fucking RUSSO? Go fuck yourselves for even considering it.
*Suddenly "My World" fires up, and The Founder Jeff Jarrett comes marching down to the ring, serenaded by a "You Sold Out" chant*
JJ: I keep TELLING you people. I. Bought. In.
DM: No, no you didn't Jeff. You sold out. When you started TNA, it was THE place every wrestler...let me say that again...WRESTLER...wanted to be. AJ vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Samoa Joe?
CC: JOE'S GONNA KILL YOU!
DM: Psh. The only thing Joe's killing these days are the cupcakes on the catering table. Anyway, that was one of the best, THE BEST, wrestling feuds...um...EVER. And then what, you sell to Panda Energy. Fine. Dixie moves it down here. Fine. Things are fine. Then, SHE goes and gets Russo. Then Bischoff. Then Hogan. Because let's bring in people who FAILED when it came to running or being in a wrestling company.
JJ: Now hold on-
DM: No, YOU hold on. Vince Russo. Eric Bischoff. Hulk Hogan. Hell, even Tommy Dreamer and that crew of fucking has-beens. Dixie has managed to bring every wrestling failure in the last 20 years into this company. And predictably, rating plummet, even fewer PPV Buyrates, and now your fans can't even defend the product anymore. You know Jeff-
*Jarrett has heard enough as he WHACKS Davin in the head with a guitar. This gets mixed reaction. Davin acts like he's going to Flair Flop, and before he does, Jarret sets him up for The Stroke - which Davin REVERSES INTO A REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Pop for the move, boo after they realize who it was. Davin gets over Jarrett and starts taunting him*
DM: This is what you deserve, Jeff! This is what happens when you fuck up! There are consequences! There are-
*Samoa Joe's music fires up. The crowd goes batshit and a strong "Joe's Gonna Kill You" chant starts as he huffs and puffs his way to the ring. Davin is mocking the fuck out of him, doing some slow-motion jogging, heavy breathing and wiping fake sweat off his forehead*
DM: Hey! I remember when you weren't a fat piece of-
*BIG right hand from Joe, followed by another, and another, sending Davin all the way into the corner. Joe seats him on the turnbuckle. UNREALISTIC KICK! Davin is OUT! Joe grabs Davin and tries to get him set up for the Muscle Buster. Davin's a big, big guy, and Joe struggles, but manages to get it locked in. Crowd is just CRAZY right now. Here it comes...Muscl- REVERSED INTO A REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER!*
CC: BOO!
DM: Yeah. Go fuck yourselves. Don't you people know who the fuck I am? I'm Davin Fucking Moreland, the Greatest Wrestler in the History of Wrestling - and I am OOWF...as they say here...4-Life. *he even does that hand thingy, which gets some nice heat* I work THERE, or I work NOWHERE. Do I look like Concrete TG? Do I look like-
*YOU'VE LOST...THAT LOVIN' FEELIN'! Big Pop for Hardbody Harris. Davin smiles and looks at his Team Hardbody bracelet, which is a pretty dark gray, but not all the way black. Weird. It should be.*
HH: Davin, you know, it wasn't so many years ago when you were just a green rookie in OOWF, and I was ruling the roost. Big Money. Big Perks. Big Belt. And I could have had sex with any woman on the planet, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
DM: Where's your cartoon mouse?
HH: Davin. Listen. My Team Hardbody Teammate. In Life-
*Davin's had enough and hits the TO BE EDITED IN LATER! What disrespect! He follows this up by spitting on him, and then tossing his Team Hardbody bracelet, which he has worn ever since he received it, right into his lifeless face*
DM: I'm not on your team anymore, Harris.
CC: BOO~!
DM: Oh, fuck off. I'm Davin Moreland. Best in the world. And I will never...AND THE ROCK MEANS never...work for this piece of shit company. Besides, it will be out of business within 3 years. Mark my words. And now, I would like to say something to my dear cousin, Moosehead Jack.
CC: BOO~!
DM: Yeah, he sucks. Anyway, Mooseyhead. Your problem has been and always will be 2-dimensional thinking. You don't plan. You don't think ahead. You read, and you react. See, this is the difference between you and me Raven, er, Mooseyhead. Here I am, pulling off something that requires me to be several moves ahead of all of you. You ALL fucking bought it. Stank, you've got a case that should be at your door as we speak. Eric, you were right all along. "Controversy Creates Cash", and we've created plenty of it. Check out the ratings this week. Some of our highest yet. And I have a very few of you to thank for it.
DM: But Moose, you don't understand. You're like the kid with Asperger's that just doesn't understand how smart people think. They don't get deception. They don't get, well, a whole bunch outside of linear thinking and reacting to any stimuli.
DM: In other words, don't go unarmed into a battle of wits, Mooseyhead Jack. And in this case, you're going into an RPG Fight with a damn slingshot. And for the rest of you?
SDM: Go fuck yourselves.
DM: Thanks, baby. Cock a doodle doo, motherfucker.
*They kiss and then survey all the horrific, horrific carnage surrounding them, as they head out through the crowd, back to the roller coasters*
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 9, 2011 23:58:50 GMT -5
<Moose and Stank are still sitting in a bar, somewhere in South America, who the hell knows where we are at this point, and Davin's promo comes up on OOWFtv, which, naturally, is on in the bar>
<Stank just sits there shaking his head. Moose either doesn't notice, or doesn't care>
MHJ: <smirking> Look, Davin just buried half the roster and an entire organization
Stank: But......
MHJ: Nothing ever changes with him. Davin is four steps ahead, blah blah blah. Davin, you don;t get it do you? This isn't MENSA. We are not at the Worcester Academic Decathlon. Since we are ripping off catch phrases.......you think you are smart........IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU THINK YOU ARE SMART!
Yeah, its lame when I do it too.
So Davin.......now that you have all the attention you crave. Now that you are once again the center of attention. Now that you have finished your ME ME ME LOOK AT ME hissy fit. Sign your contract and come on back. Cause Davin, you may well be able to out think me. You may be a bigger draw than me. You may make more money than me. The only thing that matters is that in that ring, you can't fucking beat me. You know it, and I know it.
Cock a doodle doo, asshole.
<Moose laughs to himself and goes back to drinking>
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 11, 2011 18:22:12 GMT -5
Moose and Stank are joined by Firewoman. They nod, and Moose slides her the bottle. The bartender brings another glass, as she pulls up a seat and sits down, a little hesitation.
MHJ: Oh, get over it. I have.
S: Fire...as corporate champion and contract negotiator, I have to say...your recent extra-curriculars might violate--
FW: Well, first of all, we'll just have to see what is or isn't in my new contract, eh? Kind of depends on what the commissioner agrees to, eh?
MHJ: Hehehe...
S: But you're the...
FW: And secondly, you can't prove that was me. That fighter had a mask on.
S: Yes. It matched one you also were--
FW: You can buy those things for like a dollar a piece on the street corner, Mine was just a souvenir.
Stank shakes his head. LD Williams comes in, sees the three sitting there, and joins them.
LDW: This is cozy. Nice fight, Fire.
FW: I don't know what you're talking about.
The Four drink in silence for a bit.
LDW: Look, Fire...about Regicide....
FW: What about it?
LDW: I know what I said about what he did before, but I figure he was just as manipulated as you were and--
FW: It's find, LD. How's your mama?
LDW: She's good. She wants you to call her.
FW: Yeah? Okay.
Silence. Drinking.
S: So why track down Psykle in a bar?
MHJ: Easy. He cost her the match.
FW: That...and....
LDW/S/MHJ: ....
FW: Well, Darius Prentiss is a skilled MMA fighter. Needed to brush up a little bit, that's all.
LDW: Well-brushed.
MHJ: Fire....
FW: What?
MHJ: Look....it's okay. I know you're not really worried about Prentiss.....
FW: .....
MHJ: You got this, okay?
FW: Okay...*but she seems very far from okay.*
Silence. Drinking.
S: This is nice ya know?
MHJ: Oh, god. Don't start singing...
S: No, almost .... just missing one.
FW: I'm not missing him.
Silence. Drinking.
LDW: We could....
MHJ: Well, we could, but Mrs. Facy McFace-alot kind of ruins our evilness.
FW: Hey! Stank and LD are leaning away from the ultra evil.
LDW: Eh, I could lean back.
FW: We could replace him.
S: With who?
FW: Well, my original suggestion is leaving the OOWF, so...
S/MHJ: NO!
LDW: Do we need to have that argument again?
MHJ: And don't bring up 'he's family' again.
FW: Oh, don't worry. He said he disowned me, so I'm disowning him right back. Fuck That Guy....no I meant--
MHJ: Not him either.
FW: Never mind.
LDW: No, the Five are always The Five. No replacements.
S: Can't beat perfection.
FW: I dunno...The Rolling Stones got way better when they replaced Brian Jones. And then another quantum leap better when Ronnie Wood signed on...
Everyone looks at her.
FW: Fine. Whatever. He's too busy with the pop tartlet.
S: Hey, did you see her on Dancing With the Stars?
LDW: Yeah! That was actually not bad.
FW: Eh, I hated the first song, it was....what.
Stank, Moose, and LD are all smirking at each other.
FW: What?
MHJ: Gee, sis. Why would YOU be watching "Dancing With the Stars?"
S: Is it the music? The dancing?
LDW: The heartfelt speeches about someone's mother?
FW: Shut up. It just ... happened to be on.
S: Uh huh.
FW: You know what? This is going nowhere. I don't even remember why I started this promo.
LDW: But you'll post it anyway, right?
FW: Well....yeah... But first I'm going to storm out in a huff while you guys laugh about teasing me.
MHJ: *Holding up his fingers in the Five salute.* Then see ya sis. I hear there are extra clips on you tube.
Firewoman returns his Five salute, then shifts it into a middle finger. She storms off, indeed, in a huff, while the rest of them do indeed laugh.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 11, 2011 18:23:47 GMT -5
The camera comes on, and we are in a dank clinic somewhere in Buenos Aries. The large man from the cage match with Firewoman is lying on a table, still wearing his mask. A doctor comes in and looks over a chart. The large man starts to stir.
LM: ¿Quién era esa mujer loca?
Doctor: Sorry, I’m here on an aid mission, my Spanish isn’t quite up to speed. Do you speak English?
LM: Who was that crazy woman?
Doctor: I’m not quite sure what you mean. Your friend brought you here and said you fell off a ladder.
LM: Huh? Oh, right…ladder. Si.
Doctor: If you could, could you take that mask off, I need to examine your injuries.
LM: Si.
The Large Man takes off his mask, and we see that it is….some unknown Argentinan?
Doctor: OK, so off the record, I know this wasn’t a fall from a ladder. You’re a cage fighter, right?
LM: Si.
Doctor: Tell me what happened.
LM: Regular fight, me, two other guys, and crazy woman. Crazy woman and I knockout two other guys, just me and crazy woman left. Crazy woman and I fight, she gets lucky shot on me, knocks me out. She think I someone else, give me beating I not ready for.
Doctor: Hmm…OK. Thank you. The nurse will be in with some pain medication shortly.
The doctor walks out of the room and picks up a cell phone.
Doctor: It’s me. I just checked the guy. He’ll be fine but Fire is apparently very angry with your boy if this is the damage she put out on someone she thinks is him. No, you’ll be fine, I’ll keep an eye on things at clinics near the OOWF events, you just continue your trip. Where are you now? Tibet? Wonderful. Keep according to the plan and send me updates on the progress.
Fade to black.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 11, 2011 18:26:55 GMT -5
Firewoman returns to the arena from the bar and heads towards her office. As she turns the corner, she sees Aina about to knock on it.
FW: Looking for me?
Aina: Hello beautiful.
FW: Aw. You want something. What?
Aina: Let's go inside.
Firewoman fumbles for the key and finally finds it. She opens the door, turns on the lights and plops down in her chair behind her desk. She puts her feet up as Aina sits in the chair on the other side.
FW: Speak.
Aina: I don't like asking for favors.
FW: I don't like giving them. Unless it benefits me.
Aina: Like that one time in Tosu...
FW: Aina... I'm a married woman now. No more nostalgia.
Aina: Really?
FW: Just kidding, but get to your point.
Aina smiles.
Aina: Look, we busted our asses to get a shot at our belts again. But those haole kolohes keep cheating and robbing us.
FW: I'm aware.
Aina: Anything you can do about that?
FW: I might be able to add a stipulation. Somethng like no-dq or titles change hands on a dq.
Aina: I'd accept that.
FW: Does Noelani know you're asking me for this?
Aina: No. She doesn't like you much.
FW: *sarcastically* I hadn't noticed.
Aina: She thinks you're a Futsetta or something.
FW: Really?
They both laugh.
FW: Alright, let me think it over.
Aina: Mahalo...brah.
Firewoman arches her eyebrow at being called "brah"
FW: Be careful out there. Brah.
Aina smiles and leaves Firewoman's office.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 11, 2011 18:28:22 GMT -5
*Fade in* to The Brass Knuckle Kings watching OOWF-TV.
Eric O'Mac: Shit. Shit! Shit-shit-shit!
Bryce Larson: What's wrong with you?
EOM: Do you know how fucking expensive it is to ship a goat to Orlando? That fucker!
Lauren Phoenix: So let me guess, cancel the goat?
EOM: If it's not too late--YES!
LP: I'll make a phone call...
*Fade out*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 11, 2011 18:30:10 GMT -5
*Fade in to the locker room at the Estadio de Fútbol Estúpido, where we find El Lobo Sangriento ADJUSTING~! his mask before heading out the door and into the Pasillo de los Encuentros al Azar (Hallway of Random Encounters). Lobo stops as Justin Sane approaches…
ELS: Justin, how’s the secretary gig going?
JS: It’s great! Uh, except for the pay. Can I borrow five bucks?
*Lobo shakes his head in amused disbelief, but reaches into his wallet anyway, pulls out a five and hands it to Justin…
JS: What the fuck is this?
ELS: It’s five bucks. Keep it.
JS: it’s BLUE!
ELS: Right. Like I said: five bucks. What’s the issue?
JS: Money isn’t blue. It’s green. Everyone knows that. It’s science!
ELS: Ah, I see the problem. That’s a Canadian five. In Canada, money comes in many colours.
Comrade Sharkoff: In Communist Russia, DDT Ironman Heavy Metal title wear you!
*Justin looks around, confused…
JS: Did you hear that?
ELS: I did.
JS: Whew. Sometimes I wonder, y’know? Any idea who it was?
ELS: It was Comrade Sharkoff.
JS: Comrade Sharkoff…Comrade Sharkoff…not ringing any bells.
ELS: He has your title.
JS: HE HAS MY TITLE!!!
*Justin takes off in the direction he thinks Comrade Sharkoff’s voice came from (but, of course, he’s going in the opposite direction). Lobo chuckles to himself as he continues down the Pasillo de los Encuentros al Azar, eventually hanging a right down the Pasillo Que Conduce Directamente a la Destroyatorium (Hallway That Leads Directly to the Destroyatorium). He pauses at the door, considers knocking, then decides to walk right in…
Destroyatorium Crowd: LOBO~!
ELS: Afternoon, everybody.
Coach: Beer, Lobo?
ELS: Well, I am going to need something to kill time before my second beer. How about a first beer?
*Lobo takes a seat at the far end of the bar. Some quiet piano music begins to play, and a voice chimes in…
Making your name in the ring today Takes everything you’ve got. Getting a break in all your matches Sure would help a lot.
Wouldn’t you like to get a win? Sometimes you want to go Where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see, Danny Taylor and OBJ You wanna be where everybody knows Your name.
You wanna go where people know, DDT and Justin Sane, You wanna go where everybody knows your name.
*FADE*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 11, 2011 18:43:30 GMT -5
*OOWF House Show – Mar de Plata, Argentina*
The local beach town near Buenos Aires has already seen quite a show and it’s about to get better when ”THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE…” blasts over the sound system and leads right to the mash-up of “Princes of the Universe” and “Headstrong.” As the song begins to play, Alexander Darling steps out from the back and the crowd erupts for the sight of one of the superstars of the OOWF to make an appearance. And it’s not a solo appearance as with Alexander are his twin sister Alexis, younger sister Spencer, and very close friends of the family Ashley Davies and Sydney Wyld. The crowd is raucous in their cheers as what amounts to most of the core Darling family makes their way down to the ring and to the delight of the crowd here, Spencer and Ashley do the Beautiful People rope entrance before stepping into the ring. Spencer takes a seat on one turnbuckle with Ashley standing in front of her, Alexis takes a seat on the turnbuckle on the same side of the ring with Sydney standing in front of her while Alexander places a chair in the center of the ring and then grabs the microphone as he walks slowly around the ring before sitting down in the chair.
Alexander: Hello OOWF fans.
Crowd cheers…
Thank you for the reception.
More cheers…
But it’s been a while since I’ve come to the ring and actually done an old-school promo where I talk a lot. Luckily for you fans here in Mar de Plata and the fans watching around the world, that’s about to be what you get.
You see, I’ve been quiet the last few weeks. I’ve been trying to figure out my place in this company, hell, in this business. I’ve seen people claim to walk out on this company for other avenues and I’ve seen people hired back whether they deserved to be or not. I’ve watched a wrestler, well, not just a wrestler, but our own heavyweight champion be put in charge of our contract negotiations. I’ve seen another wrestler be put in charge of matches and stipulations. And above it all, I’ve seen a wrestler take complete control of this company.
The funny thing to me, is that NONE of those wrestlers are yours truly. No, Alexander Darling gets to continue to fight the good fight and in all honesty, no one recognizes it except for the fans. Fans at one point that I couldn’t have cared less about, but have grown to mean a lot to me. So, I sat in my locker room and I tried to think the rest of it didn’t matter if I came out here, put on the best possible show for you fans, and did my job. A job I love. But I continue to walk around back there and the fact is what I do for you fans don’t matter to the people in the back.
The wars I’ve fought in this company, they don’t seem to mean anything and I have to sit back and wonder why when it was staring me in the face. The wars I’ve fought hard to win, they don’t matter because those wars were fought against the people in charge. So again, I sit there in my locker room and I wonder what I need to do to make sure this business never ever forgets me. A few months ago, I was involved in a series of matches with the arguable best wrestler in this company; LD Williams and he was right about one thing. Besides the fans, I fight so hard to forge a legacy. A legacy that will never be forgotten. I want the name Darling to mean something, not this month or next; not this year or next…I want Darling to be remembered 10, 15 years from now; 25, 50 years. I want every wrestler who ever competes in the future to remember the name Darling.
And I realize that nothing is ever going to be given to me, so I have to find ways to take what I want. Look around this company right now and you’ll see everyone can sense what is coming in the future. See, I’ve been reading these books and they are all about power and betrayal; corruption and violence. These books talk about a game, and it’s about time Alexander Darling starts playing the game again because if you’re not playing, you’re never going to win.
So look around this company and you’ll see it’s not a game that can be won alone. Eric and Bryce have formed their little group of Kings. Drink & Destroy is closing ranks and solidifying their goals. Ecosystem and his Cabinet are small for the time being, but Eco is nothing if not someone who can lead. And god forbid it happens, but the winds of the Five are circling the backstage area. And if it comes to pass and I get betrayed by someone I hold close once again, then that’s something I’ll have to live with but I will not let it control my destiny.
I’ve been heralding the winds of change in the OOWF for a long time and even as the weather gets nicer, it’s easy to tell that winter is coming to the OOWF. And I refuse to let it be a long winter. So the OOWF is about to begin their game of thrones where it’s win or perish and I can make a promise the Darling name will not perish. This ring is my home. Inside this ring is my family. Kings and SUPREME, Drink & Destroy, Eco, Five…I no longer care who stands in my way. I will play the game. I will win. Because the truth is, there no longer is any other option.
Eco, Darius…what happens this week, it won’t be personal. It’ll be business. And Alexander Darling’s new business is being the best in the world. So, whoever wants to step against me, be prepared to lose. Evans, you’re next. After that, I truly don’t care who steps to me because it won’t matter because as I said…THIS IS MY RING. And WE are DARLINGS, and well, you’re just not.
The women leave their respective corners and meet Alexander in the center of the ring as he kicks the chair out of the way. They follow it up with some sort of cool pose as the music hits once again…
*Fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 11, 2011 19:20:30 GMT -5
CUT to a locker room in Buenos Aries where The Crusher Stan Fulton's attaché, Martha Rodriguez, is watching the prior promo by Alexander Darling.
MR: "Did you see that? Sounds familiar."
The camera pulls back to show Fulton standing nearby, his OOWF Intercontinental Championship title over one shoulder (him being too beefy to wear it around his waist).
SF: (to the camera) "Alex, I welcome you, to continue your metaphor, to King's Landing. Now I'm not claiming I'm Robert Baratheon, but you should know there are little birds and whispers all over the OOWF and alliances are everywhere.
"I learned quickly, from one of your least favorite people, that doing what we do for anyone but ourselves will get us nowhere.
"I can see you're contemplating something you're not used to. If you want to walk down that road and call the banners? Mine might follow."
Fulton steps away from the camera, which goes all TNA Reaction-style on us from this point forward.
MR: "What's your banner? A prime rib covered with mushrooms and gravy?"
SF: "Har dee har har. It is to laugh. Don't be such a smart mouth and get on the phone with Alexis. See if there's an agreement we can come to."
MR: "You think Alex will be interested?"
SF: "I was on his short list for his team picks. He must not think I'm that big of a douche."
MR: "Like Davin thinks."
SF: "We all know Davin thinks I'm a weenie. I am genuinely surprised I never ended up on his fraud list."
MR: "Beneath his notice?"
SF: "Wow. Really? Want to keep your job?"
MR: "Sorry."
SF: "Nah, it's alright. Just get Alexis on the phone and let's see where this goes."
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 19, 2011 19:53:30 GMT -5
Alexander is preparing to walk out to the music as...
PA: I know who you are...the leader of lost souls...
CEO The Ecosystem comes out to a torrent of boos, full suit on and microphone in hand.
Eco: Really, Alex? How dare you. How dare you come out here, tell these parasites and hypocrites that what you do, night in and night out, is “put on the best possible show” for them and then go ahead and say, go ahead and claim, that that doesn’t matter to the people in the back!
Because Alexander…(big smile)…it matters to me.
See, it may work out such that Davin takes his ball and goes home, or perhaps my Corporate Champion may forget how much better he has it as my liaison than he did with The Five…but though these may impact my day-to-day operation, they can’t alone impact my bottom line.
Alexander Darling, you are the bottom line. You are my #1 good guy, my hero, the man who moves more merchandise than all of the rest of them. Yes, Davin introduced sponsorship, but we’re not an advertising company—or, frankly, a global entertainment company. We’re a wrestling federation. And at the end of the day in a wrestling federation, there’s always going to be the guy who picks up the ball, gets the fans on his team and runs with it. And that’s you, Alexander.
Eco takes a few more steps down the ramp as the Darlings glare.
Eco: See Alex, you…you complete me. Not in the sick, Joker/Batman way, but in the sense of a real business partnership. See, fans are tired of shades of gray. They’re tired of ambiguous characters, because ambiguity doesn’t create mobs. If you cheer LD Williams, and your friend boos LD Williams, there’s no frenzy that builds. And sometimes…sometimes that means you stop caring about LD Williams altogether. Because when you’re bored by his promo, or impressed by one of his moves, there’s no wave of the crowd to keep you cheering or booing.
A lot of folks in the OOWF think they can walk that line without consequence, Alex. Walk the line of John Cena, be called “controversial” and declare that they’re totally fine with people loving or hating them. And maybe they can do that without consequence…but it has consequences for my bottom line. It has consequences for the OOWF when the lines are too blurred for fans to become invested in the performers.
And that’s where we come in, Alex. See, I’m the villain of this story. Moosehead Jack may think he’s the nastiest guy here, old nails-in-the-face, but I’m the real villain. Because every little boy who’s had a rough life, now and then, he wants to be Moosehead Jack. Hold the grudges, never let go, make them all pay by bashing their skulls in. They think there’s a twisted honor in that, though we know better. But Junichiro “Ecosystem” Muyo…well, he’s a regular old son-of-a-bitch. He brags about an education that you’ll never have, gets his way using money you’ll never have, and isn’t even ashamed to award himself one of the most prestigious titles in a company he helped build.
What of Alexander Darling then? It took a long time, but the fans now see that Alexander Darling doesn’t just fight for himself, or to be the best. He loves putting smiles on the faces of fans, but more importantly, he cares about his family…even his extended or newer family. He’ll never let you down, and if he does fall, it won’t be for lack of trying. Think of the Bret Hart/Steve Austin match from Wrestlemania…Hart made Austin pass out, but no one talked about what a tough guy Bret Hart was, making Steve Austin pass out—they talked about how tough Steve was. It takes a technician to make a guy submit, but it takes a man to take the pain until you faint.
That’s why our “I Quit” match was never in doubt, Alexander. Because, unless I had made you pass out—which, frankly, wasn’t going to happen, I’m not a very large man and I don’t win by submission, I jump off things and do flips—you were never going to say “I Quit” when you felt you were fighting for family. But even though you could see the outcome coming a mile away, the fans were hot, Alex, because there was no ambiguity. I was the bad guy. You were the good guy. And it will always be that way.
But the dirty little secret? I make money off their cheers. Whenever a little child buys an Alexander Darling t-shirt or an “ECO SUX” baseball cap, I take home a portion of the profits.
It’s the problem of the American hero, Alex. Almost all the great public figures, all those who basked in public adulation—Reagan, Kennedy, Henry Ford—all lined the pockets of some very evil men. So I only ask one thing of you in our matchup on Wednesday, Alexander.
Win or lose, be the hero. Be the hero that they need you to be, because in doing so, you’ll be the hero that I need you to be. Now play the music of our hero, Alexander Darling!
Ecosystem exits to Alex’s Princes of the Universe/Headstrong remix as the Darlings seethe.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 19, 2011 19:54:12 GMT -5
The Darling clan is still posing in the ring, expressing their displeasure at Eco's visit, when the lights go bright white, blinding everyone, and the new agey sound of "Come to Me" by Incubus Sukkubus play, and the crowd goes...mixed. The Darliing women get down from their ring posts, and Alexander looks a bit..well, it's hard to say. Firewoman comes down the ramp in her street clothes grabs a microphone from poor production assistant, pushing him away, and climbs in the ring. She looks at Alexander, who drops his eyes.FW: Well, isn't THIS a nice little family reunion. Gee, almost everyone is here, except...wait! Me. Sydney starts to try to talk to Firewoman.FW: Syd. This doesn't concern you. Get out of the ring. Now. And take the rest of them with you. Syd starts to protest, but Firewoman gets right into her face.FW: I'm going to tell you one more time. Then I'm done talking. Leave. Now. Spencer and Ashley are already halfway up the ramp. Syd weighs her options, and decides to go ahead and leave. Alexis however takes her place. The two exchange some words that the microphone doesn't quite pick up all of, but those that it does are not fit for a family show. AD: Lexie...it's fine. Go. Alexis hesitates again, and then leaves, but she and Fire do not take their eyes off each other, and not in the good way. Finally she's gone, and Fire turns her attention back to Alexander, who now does hold her gaze.FW: Really? AD: Fire, I-- FW: Stop talking. You've said enough. My turn. To punctuate this point, Fire slaps the microphone out of his hand. This does not please Alexander, but he merely stares daggers at her. The crowd does the obligatory "Whoooooooaaaaa." FW: I know I've got an uphill battle here to earn everyone's trust back. I do. I get that. But didn't you JUST tell me not two weeks ago that I didn't have to do that with you? I mean, YOU all remember that right? The fans agree.FW: I thought at least by now I'd earned the benefit of the doubt. But apparently not, eh? Alexander goes to say something, but Fire holds up her hand to tell him to shut up. Which he does. Because he's smart like that.FW: Alright, let's go point by point, shall we? First...what is it...oh yeah..."I’ve seen another wrestler be put in charge of matches and stipulations. " Another wrestler. No name? Not even "My friend" or hell, "My WIFE?" Really? Alexander doesn't flinch.FW: So we go on...and bring up the specter of betrayal again, right? You're worried the Five is reforming, and that I'll turn on you. Right? He doesn't answer, but nods a bit.FW: Well, I was going to do this later, but may as well get it out there now. I made the fans a promise when I came back. I made the LOCKER room a promise when I came back. That I would try to make it up to them for letting Muyo lead me down the darkest path I've ever been on. If they just got behind me, I swore I wouldn't let them down. I'd do the job that I'm better at than anyone on this roster. Even the great Alexander Darling. And I meant it. Crowd pops. Darling barely nods.FW: You know why I had drinks with them? LD and Stank...they were like you. They didn't give up on me, even after I did terrible things to Stank....and when I got out.....they stood behind me. That's all. Nothing else. And Moose is my brother. I'm allowed to talk to him, right? Darling nods, and can be heard to say "Of course...." but she once again gestures for him to shut the fuck up.FW: So listen to me. And get this through your head. There. Is. No. Five. Reunion. And not just because Poe won't come back. I know it, and the other three know it. Everyone seems to know it except you. You can believe me or not, but it's the truth. Alexander nods his head slowly, but it's not clear he believes her.FW: As far as the other part. Trying to be the good wrestler...good partner...and yes, good wife.........I don't know how to get you to believe me. I really don't. But maybe this will do it. I was going to talk to you about it privately, but since you decided to snub me publicly...... Fire takes a deep breath, looks around the arena.FW: I hereby resign as Commissioner. The crowd gasps, and Alex looks surprised.FW: Being commissioner gets in the way of the promise I made when I turned away from Ecosystem. The promises I made to the fans, to the locker room...and to you. So I quit. I'm just a wrestler in this company, and nothing else. Darling appears to be speechless.FW: And if that's not good enough for you, well, then you know where to find Lucky. Now, hit my music. "Close to Me" fires up....FW: No...no no no...turn that shit off. That's what Ecosystem made me use. That's what the Firewoman that turned on friends and family used. She's dead. THIS Firewoman stands by her friends...and her family. Hit my REAL music. There's a pause......and suddenly this blasts through the arena.www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNcpasj__WYThe crowd pops huge for this. Firewoman drops the microphone turns and walks up the ramp, leaving Alexander standing in the ring.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 19, 2011 19:55:01 GMT -5
*Backstage at the OOWF House Show, Bryce Larson, Chris Evans, and Eric O'Mac are watching WWE Raw.*
Eric: You know, APPLE was my idea, you know.
Bryce: It does sound like something you would think of.
Chris: Brilliant, really.
Eric: I know.
Bryce:....
Chris:....
Bryce: You know we have a match later this week?
Eric: Title match?
Bryce: No,
Eric: OK.
Chris: I'm defending my title.
Eric: You should try to win, then.
Chris: I think I'll do that.
Eric: I'd consider it.
Chris: Where did you get that?
*Chris points to the WWE United States Championship.*
Eric: Oh. I was at Wrestlemania. My Dad decided to have a pre-show battle royal for the title, and I won.
Chris: So does that make you a double champion?
Eric: Triple champion. I'm also the PHWF Quadruple Crown Champion.
Bryce: But people only care about one of your championships, right?
Eric: That's right. The OOWF Tag Team Championships. Most valued tag team championship in the OOWF. Now shut up. Lawler vs. Swagger is about to start.
*Fade out.*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 19, 2011 19:55:56 GMT -5
*Fade back in. Chris Evans, Bryce Larson, and Eric O'Mac are still watching Raw. Eric has a basket of apples on the table in front of them.* Eric: Man, I cannot wait to watch Extreme Rules. Chris: What's this with Edge retiring? Bryce: Rumor has it he's coming to the OOWF. Eric: Pfft. You must have read that at 411mania. The 6 and 1....that guy is a hack writer and makes up shit. Bryce: I think he's ok... Eric: Then I need to give you this... *Eric hands Bryce a poster....that looks like this.* Bryce: Touche. Chris: Where's Matt? Eric: On the throne. Chris: You mean that new king size throne we put in the other room where we want to sit and think with our thoughts and stuff? Eric: No. In the bathroom. The water isn't that healthy here to drink, and he also had some of the beef tips at catering. Bryce: Where's Gus Johnson? Eric: Announcing Folz while he is on the throne. *In the background* Gus Johnson: PURE!!! Chris: That's kind of creepy. Eric: We pay him well. *In the background* Gus Johnson: HERE COMES THE PAIN! Bryce: I don't know if I can get use to that. Why aren't we hanging out at his barbershop? Eric: You think I want to cut this hair? Chris: When will Folz be done? Eric: You think I want to know when he's done taking a shit? Chris: Not really. Eric: He'll be out in due time. I'm sure we'll see him Wednesday at Mayhem. Bryce: Why aren't you on Twitter? Eric: I started something and everyone else copied me. I tweet again when people get their own idea. Chris: Wasn't this Stank's idea? Eric: If you are going to break the fourth wall, at least call him Spot. Bryce: That's not his real name either. Eric: Yeah, and Obama was born in Hawaii, right? Chris: He was. Eric:.... Bryce:... Chris:..... Gus Johsnon (in the background): INSTANT! CLASSIC! *fade out.*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 19, 2011 19:57:07 GMT -5
(Tytan and LD are seen going old school once again with SFJ 232.)
LD: Well it seems that our opponents for Mayhem don't even want to address the fact that Regicide will be facing them.
Tytan: No way. They no better.
LD: It seems that they have an idea what's going to be coming at them.
Tytan: The foundation begins to crumble.
LD: It seems that they think that if they ignore us. Ignore Regicide that we will go away.
Tytan: We won't they need to prepare.
LD: Gentlemen, we aren't going to go anywhere.
Tytan. They need to prepare.
LD: We are Regicide and we are about to turn the tag-team division upside down.
Tytan: Sleep well Kings....doomsday is coming.
(FADE)
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 19, 2011 19:57:52 GMT -5
Stank - Seriously? *Firewoman has just walked back behind the curtain and now stands in front of Stank. The Darling women all hover around waiting for Alex to show up. Firewoman looks up at Stank then off to the side.* FW - I'm sorry I can't do it any longer. Stank - You could have at least discussed it with me first. FW - So you could talk me out of it... no. *Stank shakes his head and turns to walk away.* Stank - I suppose I should have seen this coming. I'm kind of surprised you kept the job as long as you did. *Stank walks away with Firewoman looking on behind him. Stank rounds a corner and heads past catering to the administrative office suites where he is met by the CEO.* Eco - So... our commissioner has resigned. Stank - You don't have to look so gotdamn happy about it. Eco - On the contrary. I am quite disappointed, though not surprised in the least. I will have to appoint a new commissioner, of course. Stank - Let me guess, The President? Eco - You would just veto the decision. Stank - No... Do whatever the fuck you want. *Stank walks toward his office leaving Eco smiling behind him. Stank walks past his empty receptionist's desk and into his office. The first thing he notices is there is a new couch on the back wall underneath the window. The second... Justin Sane is sleeping on it.* Stank - *AHEM!* *Justin opens his eyes wide and sits up.* JS - Hey! What do think? Nice couch, huh? Isn't it great? *Stank shakes his head and starts rubbing his temples in an attempt to hold off the onset of a migraine. He speaks with resignation and a touch of annoyance.* Stank - Justin get the fuck out of my office. JS - Sure thing. Duty calls. I'll go check your messages. Stank - Don't! *Sigh* You know what, never mind. Check... check my messages. JS - Lemme borro- Stank - NO! I don't HAVE any CASH! JS - You want me to get you some? Stank - ... ... ... ... ... JS - Stank - ... ... Yeah. JS - Stank - Go get me some cash. JS - Cool! *Justin Sane rises from the couch and walks out Stank's inner office with purpose. Stank shuts the door behind Justin then goes to sit behind his desk. He reaches into his left drawer and pulls out a bottle of whiskey Rick gave him a long time ago, and a shot glass. He starts speaking to himself.* Stank - Stay the course, Lucas. You know what's at stake. Fade
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 19, 2011 19:58:41 GMT -5
As Stank starts to open the whiskey, there’s a knock on his door.
S: “Justin, GO AWAY! I don’t have ANY CASH!”
The door opens and The Crusher Stan Fulton is standing in the open doorway.
SF: “Thanks, dude, but I have all the cash I need. Can I get you some?”
Stank appears like he is going to smile, but it’s quickly gone as if it was never there.
S: “What can I do for you, Stan.”
SF: “Nothin’. Was heading over here from Buenos Aries to talk to Alexander and have been watching the promos on my OOWF iPhone app.”
S: “And?”
SF: “And I got something for you on the way over.”
Fulton draws his hand from behind his back and sets a black velvet drawstring bag down on Stank’s desk.
S: “Crown Royal Black?”
SF: “Cask No. 16 actually. I’ve had a few bottles put away for me and always carry one for emergencies. Medicinal only of course.”
Fulton says this last with a sarcastic wink.
S: “Of course, Dr. Crusher.”
SF: “My diagnosis is exhaustion. I prescribe a few, perhaps more, shots of this fine whiskey with whomever you don’t mind spending time with. I suggest Justin is not invited.”
S: “Best thing I’ve heard all day.”
SF: “I’ll drink to that.”
Fulton and Stank clink their shot glasses together and proceed to drink as we FADE.
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 19, 2011 19:59:37 GMT -5
*Eric O'Mac is sitting in a chair reading "Controversy Creates Cash" for probably the billionth time. Suddenly, Davin comes in with a giant fruit basket*
DM: Eric.
EOM: Davin! Good to see you!
GJ: THAT'S the guy that should shoot it!
DM: Just thought you deserved a nice fruit basket for all your help with the TNA swerve.
EOM: I didn't really do anything.
GJ: HEART! BREAK! CITY!
DM: Oh, of course you did, E. That book, right there. If it weren't for you constantly mentioning it, I'd never have been able to pull anything like this off.
GJ: The RUNNERRRRRRRRRRRRR!
EOM: Well, ok. Ooh, pineapple.
DM: Yeah, I know it's your favorite.
GJ: ANOTHER BIG TIME J!
EOM: Well, fun working with you again, Davin.
DM: Likewise. *he leaves*
GJ: THE SLIPPER! STILL! FITS!
*We next see Davin carrying a case of some domestic beer when he heads to Stank's office, where he happens across Justin Sane*
DM: Justin! Holy shit! How you been, man?
JS: Davin! Wow! Long time! Can I borrow-
DM: I don't have 5 dollars.
JS: Oh.
GJ: Hi everybody, I'm Gus Johnson.
DM: Gus? What are you doing here?
GJ: Workin' hard.
DM: Shouldn't you be in the SUPREME locker room? You're their NPC.
GJ: He's a bit shaky today.
DM: So you're just gonna follow me around until my promo's over?
GJ: GOT IT!
DM: Ok, well, Justin, can I see Stank please?
JS: Um, do you have an appointment?
GJ: HOW BOUT THAT?
DM: An appointment, really?
JS: Well, uh.
DM: Is he here?
JS: I don't know if I should-
*Davin throws a nice, shiny quarter into the hallway*
GJ: Loose balllllll...
*and just walks past Justin (who is diving for it) into the inner office*
GJ: BANKED IT OHHHHHHH!
DM: Stank. *he puts the case on his desk* Told ya this was coming.
GJ: AND ONE!
S: Did you really have to bring Gus Johnson?
DM: He just kinda followed me.
GJ: CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN!
S: What can I do for you?
DM: Well, just wanted to say thanks. Couldn't have pulled off the TNA thing without you. Ratings up as much as I thought?
S: *smirks* More.
GJ: When they need baskets, they go to him.
DM: Well good. I know you're all buddy-buddy with Moose, but-
S: Don't, Davin. I don't want to talk about this with you right now *he gestures with his head toward the cameras*
GJ: And A STEAL!
DM: Fair enough. Good work on this though. I know it wasn't easy agreeing to an idea of mine.
GJ: LETS IT GOOOOOO!
S: I'm nothing if not fair, Davin. I hear a good idea, I'm gonna run with it.
GJ: COUNT IT!
*Davin smiles gets up and nods before heading out to the hallway, where Justin is apparently fighting a broomstick for the quarter. He smirks and keeps walking*
GJ: 2 to tie and 3 to win it!
DM: *looks right at a camera* Moose, you're the biggest hypocrite in the business. You don't need "them", yet everything you ever do is to please "them". You get on me for running my mouth, and yet that's all you EVER do is run your fucking mouth. Except when I do it, more people watch. When you do it, people fall asleep.
GJ: INSTANT CLASSIC!
DM: I understand you're desperately hanging on to what's left of your career; trying to craft a legacy for yourself other than the "That's the guy that bleeds" caricature you've become. So how do you try to do it? The tried and true method of picking a fight with the biggest dog in the yard.
GJ: UNBELIEVEABLE!
DM: So I'll say this Mooseyhead Jack, so that we're crystal clear on this. I didn't let FuckThatGuy make his name off of me, I didn't let Larson make his name off of me, and I'm sure as fuck not going to let YOU make your name, and try to re-craft your legacy off of me.
GJ: BAM!
DM: A word of advice? When running your mouth in the future, try to mention me as much as possible. That should keep at least some people from changing the channel.
GJ: OH! WHAT A GAME!
DM: And for everyone, and I've heard the chatter, who think that Texpress and I aren't on the same page? Watch Wednesday, when the greatest Trios team in history, hell, the ONLY worthwhile Trios team in history, beats the crap out of those bitchy whiners, especially that Danny Taylor.
GJ: NOooooooooooo...
DM: I know, Gus. He can't talk. I get it. But his manager bitches and he gets bitchy with his body language. I can just tell these things.
GJ: IN AND OUT AND BACK IN!
DM: Until then, Cock a doodle doo, motherfuckers!
GJ: AND IT'S OVER! OH! WHAT A GAME!
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 19, 2011 20:00:24 GMT -5
FADE back in and two plus hours have passed. The bottle of Crown Royal is empty and laying on its side, a few precious drops of the ambrosia liquid drip onto the scarred desk top surface.
Stank and Fulton are feeling no pain, singing ... something unintelligible, but apparently they know what it is. The final notes of their aria ring out in the tiny office and they slump back into their chairs, Fulton’s glass dropping out of his grasp to the floor with a hollow clunk.
S: “I wonder why no one has come barging in since you got here.”
SF: “Uh, probably because I’m leaning back against the door. It is a small office.”
S: “Oh. Cool.”
SF: “Cool.”
Stank picks up the empty bottle and peer into its empty interior, disappointed that the sweet nectar is no more.
S: “The bottle’s empty.”
SF: “Then I suppose our lil’ party is over.”
S: “Yeah, I should let our esteemed colleagues come bug me about becoming Commissioner.”
SF: “Good luck with that.”
S: “I should make you Commissioner.”
SF: “I’ll hit you hard and I’ll hit you so hard.”
S: “Not exactly right, but close enough for our inebriated state.”
SF: “I’m surprised you could say ineb... inebri... uh... drunk.”
S: “Foster Brooks, huh?”
SF: “The over/under on people in this company that get that reference is two point five.”
S: “I’ll take the under.”
SF: “Damn.”
S: “Really though. Thanks for the Crown Royal.”
SF: “My pleasure. I’ve seen what you’ve been going through the past few weeks. Even at his sanest, Eco is not the easiest person to get along with.”
S: “You weren’t with him long in DEVILS were you?”
SF: “I was there for about two, three weeks and then the GOAT took over and it went downhill. I got off the sled before it went over the cliff.”
S: “Good luck against Folz, tomorrow night.”
SF: “I just hope he wipes good before our match. I’d hate to lift him for a slam right after he gets up off the commode.”
S: “That’s disgusting.”
SF: “So’s Gus Johnson doing play-by-play of your bowel movement.”
S: “On that note...”
SF: “Exit. Stage left already.”
Fulton walks, nay weaves, his way out the door as Stank shakes his head.
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 19, 2011 20:02:15 GMT -5
<As Fulton gets up to leave, Moose walks in.>
MHJ: How the hell are ya Crusher?
SF: <slurring> fanfuckingtastic
MHJ: Good to hear. When you are sober, stop by my locker room, I have something to run by you
SF: Will do Moose
<Fulton walks out and we hear him say JUSTIN! HOW THE HELL ARE YA! Moose sits on the couch and looks at Stank>
Sta: Look, I know what you are thinking......
MHJ: Doesn't matter
Sta: It doesn't
MHJ: Nope. Look, I get your position, its all about the money. Davin thinks he pulled something off, fine, whatever. Never mind that I just worked the fans two months ago. Whatever. Congratulations on doing the same fucking thing I did you overrated hack.
Sta: So......I am guessing you haven't seen Davin's promo then
MHJ: No, what the hell does Diva Moreland have to say now?
MHJ: <shaking his head> How the fuck did you deal with this asshole during your feud?
Sta: It wasn't easy
MHJ: Everything I do is for them? What the fuck is he even talking about? That's classic coming from Panderman. Davin, honestly you are so fucking deluded anymore I would rather listen to Danny Taylor promo. Desperately hanging onto my career. Ok, is that what we are going with? And I see YOU have been doing so fucking well lately. When was the last time you won a one on one match? You have got by your whole fucking career by associating with someone else. You sucked up to Rick during the war, you swung from Darling's nuts in DEA to keep relevant, you decided you were related to the Quinns, you made sure YOU were the focus in DEVILS, fooling the idiot fans into believing that you were infiltrating them or some such shit. Whatever Davin, whatthefuckever. You are a bigger attention whore than Alex, and I seriously did not think that was fucking possible.
And as far as people turning off my promos? Do I give a fuck? No I do not, Panderman. In short.....fuck you
<Stank looks at Moose>
Sta: Well. How do you REALLY feel?
MHJ: Fuck him. Overrated Diva. Greatest of All Time my fucking ass
Sta: So........seriously, I need to ask you a favor
MHJ: Shoot
Sta: Talk to Fire
MHJ: About what?
Sta: She resigned
MHJ: So?
Sta: So.......don't you think a position of some responsibility might be beneficial to her?
MHJ: <thinking> It may be yes, but you know as well as I do that talking her into doing something she doesn't want to do is impossible
Sta: Yeah, that is why I asked you
MHJ: You know.......one Quinn quit......you could hire another
<Stank stares at Moose>
Sta: On what planet is that even REMOTELY a good idea?
MHJ: What?
Sta: No way. First of all, I can not imagine the hell you would wreak on this place. Second, Davin would kick the door down and bitch non stop
MHJ: Fuck him
Sta: Fuck him indeed. That is not the point. I think they trust you less than Eco
MHJ: <mockingly> I am hurt
Sta: No you aren't
MHJ: Ok, no I'm not. Now.....I have an idea concerning me, you, LD, Tytan and Fulton
<Stank sits back in his chair and grins, Moose turns and slams the door shutting out the INC>
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Post by BookerShark on Apr 19, 2011 20:03:59 GMT -5
JS - The CEO is on line 1 for you.
*Stank stares down at his phone and rolls his eyes as Moosehead Jack looks on.*
Stank - Excuse me. This should just take a second.
MHJ - It's fine.
*Stank hits line one.*
Stank - Juni.
CEO the Eco - You knew?
Stank - Knew what?
CtE - You were in on this swerve of Davin's
Stank - I told you there was a solution.
CtE -
Stank - What's the matter? You said you wanted him with the company.
CtE - It's fine when you swerve the roster... but not me.
Stank - Oh for fuck's sake. For this to work you could not be in the loop.
CtE - I am not happy.
Stank - Have you seen the ratings?
CtE - Ratings are not your concern outside their impact on contract negotiations. It is the job of the commissioner and myself to find ways to generate ratings.
Stank - You don't have a commissioner.
CtE - One Lisa Quinn.
Stank - Darling.
*Moose furrows his brow in annoyance. Stank shrugs his shoulders.*
CtE - Ah... Darling... whatever. I have not accepted her resignation. Is she aware her salary will be significantly reduced.
Stank - I don't think she cares. Furthermore... I've just been reminded how stubborn she could be. Trying to keep her might present a problem you don't want.
CtE - I would have thought that would make you happy?
Stank - It would, were it not for the fact, shit rolls downhill.
CtE - Ah.. well... I would rehire The President but the chap seems to have disappeared. I do believe you scared him off.
Stank - Not my intent.
CtE - Well he is not the reason I'm calling.
Stank - Okay.
CtE - Canal 7 is doing an expose on American wrestling. They contacted me for an interview. I can't be bothered so I'm sending you. You are our representative afterall.
Stank - An expose? Veto!
CtE - Nope. Doing these interviews are part of your contract which you and I negotiated before you got the job. They are not subject to a veto.
Stank - I know! I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
CtE -
Stank - When is the interview?
CtE - It'll be live... tonight at 7pm.
Stank - Fuck.
CtE - We have a house show at the community center in Pontevedra. A limo will pick you up in an hour to take you out there for the interview.
Stank - I hate this.
CtE - It's a pretty rough town so be careful. Call me immediately after you're done.
Stank - I hate you.
CtE - I'll make it up to you.
Stank - I doubt that.
CtE - I promise.
*Ecosystem ends the call. Justin Sane walks in with a wad of cash and drops it on Stank's desk. Moose reaches for the cash, but Justin slaps his hand away.*
JS - That's not for you!
MHJ - You ever been disemboweled by a bic pen, Justin?
JS - Yes.
*Stank and Moose just stare. Seconds later, Stank shakes his head back to reality and looks down at the money.*
Stank - There's like... a hundred forty dollars here. Where did you get this?
JS - I borrowed it.
Stank - From?
JS - That's not important.
Stank -
JS - How about you give me five dollars for a Eric O'Mac action figure?
*Stank simply glares at Justin. Moosehead Jack walks over and picks up HDBIII.*
JS - Whoops gotta go.
*Justin ducks past Moosehead Jack and out the office suites.*
Stank - I'd appreciate it if you didn't scare off my receptionist at least until I can get a new one.
MHJ - I thought he annoyed you?
Stank - He does... but he also does a decent job. I was just joking and he went and got me cash.
MHJ - Yeah... listen, before we talk about my idea. I actually wanted to talk to you about this new contract. I want to discuss a few of these clauses.
Stank - Make it quick. As you heard, I have to leave in an hour.
MHJ - Okay... quickly... I want a clause stating I can use Happy Dethbat in all my matches per my discretion.
Stank - I doubt I can make that happen.
MHJ - I get a $10,000 bonus for every opponent I make bleed.
Stank - No.
MHJ - Any match I'm in with a Darling they must agree to kiss my ass before and after the match.
Stank - Even your sister?
MHJ - Except her.
Stank - No.
MHJ - No more than one light bulb in my locker room or I get to punish any random OOWF staffer within my line of sight.
Stank - Punish how?
MHJ - Gratuitous use of Happy Dethbat III.
Stank - MMMMMmmmmmm...no.
MHJ - Abundant supply of Hookah?
Stank - Ewww I didn't know you... were interested in that... type of activity... much less hookers.
MHJ - I said hookah, asshole, not whores.
Stank - Hookers, whores, tricks... whatever floats your boat.
MHJ - No NOT... forget it! Cigars! All the cigars I want... and not that cheap ass shit.
Stank - Done. Anything else?
MHJ - Davin's head on a plate?
Stank - You have to get that yourself.
MHJ - Divorce papers for Alex and Fire?
Stank - Not within my power.
MHJ - Endless supply of barbed-wire?
Stank - I'll look into it.
*Moose continues to list his demands as Stank shakes and nods his head with each listed. The camera fades.*
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