OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (04/20) Live! From Punta Arena

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Punta Arenas, Chile

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
Chris Evans vs. Alexander Darling

Onslaught Rules Match[/u]
Firewoman vs. El Lobo Sangriento

Winning Team Gets to Pick The Stips of Their PPV Match[/u]
Stank & Stan Fulton vs. J-P Sparxx & Matt Folz

Texpress vs. Drink & Destroy
LD Williams vs. Bryce Larson vs. Kai
Tytan vs. Eric O’Mac vs. Aina
Moosehead Jack vs. Davin Moreland
Ecosystem vs. DH Magnusson

Card subject to serious gas

[BookerShark]

Firewoman and Alexander are WALKING~! It appears Fire would rather be STORMING~! but Alexander has talked her into not doing that for this promo.

FW: You don't have to be here.

AD: I hate him. Maybe more than you do.

FW: Not possible.

AD: But...you need me for back-up...so I'm here.

FW: Thanks.

They walk in without knocking.

Eco: Lisa! Alex! Have a seat.

AD: No.

FW: Se...Juni...what the fuck was that?

Eco: What?

FW: That...our match....

Eco; Oh...popcorn?

Ecosystem shakes the popcorn box and offers some to Fire.

FW: No.

Eco: Alex? Popcorn?

Alex merely stares daggers into him.

Eco: My dear Lisa...*his voice changes ever so slightly*...I was just thinking about you before the match today. Not about the usual things one things before a match, what is your moveset, where are your weaknesses. No....I was thinking...how much I had wronged you.

FW: Huh?

Eco: It's true, Lisa. I behaved so horribly....I caught your conversation with Stank. What I've put you through already....

Fire appears to be very interested in everything Eco is saying. Alex pauses from glaring at Eco to checking on Fire's response and not liking it at all.

AD: Fire...

Eco: So....I just...I couldn't put you...I didn't want to put you in another uncomfortable situation.

AD: Uncomfortable situation? Is that what you call--

FW: Alex...please...go on Juni.

AD: Really?

Eco: I know you're a competitor, and you hate it when your opponent doesn't meet you fairly. And for that...I'm sorry.

Firewoman looks softly at Ecosystem, who smirks at Alex.

AD: Fire...FIRE!

FW: Alex...please....Sensei is talking.

Eco: Thank you, Lisa, but I'm not your sensei anymore. You've graduated. You've been saved.

FW: Yes, Sensei, I have. So...you're saying...you didn't get in the ring with us because you cared about me and my reaction to you being there?

Eco: Exactly!

FW: I believe you.

AD: FIRE!

FW: I believe that you were very concerned what my reaction would be. I believe you were very concerned about losing to me in the ring AGAIN.

Fire is significantly less 'dreamy-faced' now, drawing a confused look from Ecosystem, but a smile from Alex.

FW: I think you were very concerned about one thing, and one thing only, and that was keeping Junichiro Muyo from having to face the consequences of his actions again. Because we are not even, Muyo. Not by a long shot.

Eco: Lisa I--

FW: And for THAT reason...to keep you in check....I AM back in my role of commissioner, and there's really not a lot you can do about it.

Eco: You resigned. I have--

FW: You have nothing in writing. I signed no resignation letter. My tantrum in the ring can be chalked up as just that. I have the backing of your corporate champion, and probably the board, and probably a larger portion of the locker room than you think.

Ecosystem looks at Fire, stunned, and then at Alex, who is still glaring at him, but is very pleased with this turn of events.

Eco: Well...since you put it that way.....Welcome back, Commissioner.

He extends his hand to Firewoman. She hesitates, and takes it, then pulls him toward her over the desk.

FW: It will be my distinct pleasure to make sure that you can never ever manipulate anyone in this company the way you manipulated me. And make no mistake. I'll stop you.

Ecosystem smirks.

Eco: Understood.

Firewoman releases his hand and he straightens up behind his desk. Firewoman and Alexander turn and leave.

[BookerShark]

<Moose is sitting in the back, old school Moose, dark room, single light bulb. Moose is running his fingers over a strand of barbed wire muttering to himself. He stops and smirks and looks up at the camera>

Do I have your attention now Davin? Do I have your full, undivided attention now? Or would you like to "shock the world" and announce you are going to Ring of Honor? Or would you like to do another commercial hocking some swill from another fast food joint. Or would you like to shut the fuck up and listen.

You know, for someone who considers himself the greatest of all time, you are really easily distracted. I mean, all you had to do was reach out and tag Chad. All you had to do was be there for someone you consider family. All you had to do was not think of yourself for a change. But no. It's all about Diva Moreland, right?

So now Davin, it looks like you have once again let those around you down. The Greatest of All Time indeed. Oh, I am sure you will make excuses, blame it on me, blame it on something. I am sure you will swear vengeance and promise Chad and Zane your undivided attention in getting those titles back.

You know, it's really too bad you stopped doing your fraud list Davin. Cause this week, you know damn well you would be on the top of the list.

<Moose looks down and goes back to the barbed wire and we fade>

[BookerShark]

DM: Do it, put the graphic up.

SFJ420: But-

DM: Just do it.

VoiceoverGuy: Hey everyone, it's time for OOWF-TV's highest rated segment, Top Ten Frauds of the Week!. And now your hosts, Moonbeam O'Callahan and Shawn Johnson...with their special guest host, Samantha Darling-Moreland!

SDM: Hi everyone! So good to be here to do one of these finally-

DM: Sharpie

SDM: Huh?

DM: Sharpie. Where is it?

SFJ420: *pulls one out of her pocket* Here ya go.

DM: K, cool.

SDM: Anyway, it's time to hand this over to the star of our show, the Greatest of All-Time, Davin Moreland!

*canned applause*

DM: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here.

*He holds up a sign, written in Sharpie that says "Top 10 Frauds of the Week". Underneath that, he has written "Moosehead Jack: #1, #3-#10. Alexander Darling: #2". He throws it on the ground and starts to walk away, until we hear him mumble "Fuck. Sharpie?" He scribbles something on the back before holding it up:

"Also LD Williams is a fraud, fraud, fraud. Get the t-shirt at OOWFShop.com"

DM: Ok, now that's it. *the cheesy music plays*

OGMSJ: Nothing to say to Moose?

DM: Not really. Just he needs to remember, while he's recycling promos from 2 years ago, and swapping "Darling" out for "Davin" - he needs to be careful not to make one major mistake.

OGMSJ: What's that?

DM: I'm not Alexander Darling. And if he thinks that ol' Davin Moreland's gonna roll over and die like Alexander used to, well...keep thinking that. Underestimate me, Moose. Tell me how overrated I am. Tell me I'm not half as good as I think I am. Go ahead, Moose. Tell me these things. Because unlike that other guy that you cut generic promos on, I'm not going to sit back in a quiet corner, turn the lights out, and cut my wrists.

DM: No Moose...if I'm cutting anyone's wrists, well...those would be yours - assuming I can make it through all the scar tissue from you cutting yourself, that is.

SDM: I've got it.

DM: Good, ok. Got what?

SDM: If Alexander is emo like a 13-year-old girl, then Mooseyhead Jack has the impulse control of a 4-year-old with ADHD. MOOSEY SMASH!

OGMSJ: I don't know why you're even responding to him, D.

DM: *shrugs* I got nothing better to do, right? Also, LD WILLIAMS IS A FRAUD BUY THE T-SHIRT!

*fade*

[BookerShark]

**OOWF Interview Area**

Alexander: Evans, you're going to be hit hard this week.

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

**Stank pushes Alexander Darling aside in the OOWF Interview Area**

Stank: Sparxx, you're going to be hit hard this week.

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

**Stan "Crusher" Fulton joins Stank in the OOWF Interview Area**

Fulton: Folz, you're going to be hit hard this week.

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

**Moosehead Jack joins Stank and Stan "Crusher" Fulton in the OOWF Interview Area**

MHJ: Davin............fuck you.

What?

*fade*

[BookerShark]

CUT to the OOWF Executive Hallway, sponsored by TheLadders.com, where The Crusher Stan Fulton is walking up to a door with a hanging sign which was originally labeled “Commissioner: The President.” That’s been scribbled out with “Commissioner: Firewoman” under it, which was also scribbled out, but written on the sign a second time. That hasn’t been crossed out... yet.

Fulton knocks on the door. No one on the inside answers, but a voice behind him does.

VBH: “I’m not in yet.”

Fulton turns to find the OOWF Commissioner, Firewoman, standing there.

SF: “Madam Commissioner.”

FW: “Keep calling me that and I’ll make your next title defense a Battle Royal. And stop staring at my boobs.”

SF: (abashed) “Sorry.”

Firewoman walks past Fulton, opens her door and motions him to a seat across from her desk.

FW: “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Stan, other than to be ogled?”

Both sit.

SF: “First, I have a gift.”

As he says this, he produces a bottle of Jameson 2007 Rarest Vintage Reserve and sets it on the desk.

FW: “Very nice. Trying to bribe me?”

SF: “Not at all. There’s a couple reasons, first and foremost, to say I’m sorry for not making more of an effort to help you when you were killed and drugged by Juni.”

Fire’s eyes get a slate-like glean as Eco’s name is mentioned.

SF: “I should have done more, and I could use excuses like I didn’t know you well or I hadn’t been here very long, but those are exactly that. Excuses. And I’m not one to hold to excuses.

FW: “You said a couple of reasons. That’s one.”

SF: “Actually I have three total. The second is strictly a congratulatory gift for taking the Commissionership.”

FW: “Thank you. I’m guessing the final reason is personal.”

SF: “Beautiful and intelligent. As Intercontinental champion, I’m theoretically the number one contender to the World Heavyweight title. I’d like a shot at Stank’s belt. You could make that match.”

FW: “I’ll take it under advisement.”

SF: “Fair enough.”

Fulton rises and heads to the door.

SF: “Thanks for your time, Fire.”

FW: “Thank you for the Jameson, Stan. It was a sweet gesture.”

SF: “As intended. Slán agat.

FW: “Slán leat.

Fulton walks out, closes the door, opens the door across the hall and walks in. Justin Sane pops his head up from behind the secretary’s desk.

JS: “Kool-Aid Man! Oh yeah!”

SF: “Is your boss in?”

JS: “Is he in what?”

SF: “His office.”

JS: “This is his office.”

SF: “Right. Is he in?”

JS: “In where?”

SF: “Nevermind.”

JS: “Can I borrow five bucks? I need a couple Arnold Palmers.”

SF: “You know what? I think I saw a guy giving away all sorts of money. He was playing violin out on the street and he had all these bills in his violin case open right in front of him. I’ll bet you could get ten, twelve dollars from his case.”

JS: “Righteous! Tell Mr. Stank that I’m taking a break, Kool-Aid Man!”

SF: “I’m not the Kool-Aid Man.”

JS: “Oh yeah?”

Fulton shakes his head as Justin rushes out to perform an act of petty larceny.

After he’s gone, Fulton knocks on the inner door of the office behind which comes a muffled voice.

MV: “Come in.”

Fulton opens the door and plops down in the chair across from OOWF Director of Personnel Stank.

SF: “Stank.”

S: “Stan. What’s up?”

SF: “Wanted you to know I requested a World Title shot.”

S: “Steppin’ up to the big leagues, huh?”

SF: “Heh. Grab the brass ring, ya know.”

S: “Ballsy. You could have just asked me.”

SF: “I know and you’d have granted it, but I figured I’d go through proper channels.”

S: “Eco?”

SF: “Fire, actually.”

S: “I saw that she gave Eco the what’s for.”

SF: “So I went to her first as the Commissioner, but wanted to tell you so there’s no surprises.”

S: “Very polite of you.”

SF: “I suppose I should also talk about my contract situation.”

S: “You’ll have to be quick. I have an appointment in about 20 minutes.”

SF: “This won’t take much time. I’m just requesting a one year extension of my current contract.”

S: “The one that was signed after your lawsuit? The one that says you can’t be fired?”

SF: “That’s the main stipulation. There are some minor ones in there about special travel amenities.”

S: “If I’m not giving the Morelands permission to travel separately, why should I let you?”

SF: “I’m not asking for that. I’m just asking for either an extra large seat or two adjoining seats. You know how hard it is to get a 400 pound man into a seat made for a 160 pounder?”

S: “Not exactly, but I have an idea.”

SF: “Right. Anywho, just wanted to let you know about the title shot request since I’m sure you’ll still have the title by then.”

S: “You got that right.”

SF: “Care to practice for Wednesday some time coming up?”

S: “We probably should. We don’t have a lot of experience in the ring together.”

SF: “You know Sparxx better than I do, but I’m guessing I know Folz better. We should compare notes.”

S: “I’ll have Justin contact you with a time.”

SF: “You trust him enough for that? I wouldn’t trust him to take out the garbage.”

S: “Oh he couldn’t take out the garbage. He’d spend too much time going through it looking for Pop-Tarts.”

SF: “Blegh.”

S: “One way or another, I’ll let you know.”

SF: (standing up) “Cool. I’ll see you later then.”

S: “Yep.”

Fulton leaves the offices and the OOWF Executive Hallway, crossing over to the OOWF Donovan Viper Memorial Hallway of Random Encounters, sponsored by Trojan. Heading towards the executive offices (we can only suppose) is OOWF Six Pack Champion, Greatest of All Time (and I think he was King of the Wicker People), Davin Moreland.

SF: “Davin.”

DM: “Fattyfattyfatfat.”

SF: “That’s Intercontinental Champion Fattyfattyfatfat to you.”

DM: “Ooooo... secondary title holder. Aren’t you something?”

SF: “Shouldn’t you be threatening to take your talents to Bristol?”

DM: “ESPN?”

SF: “Bristol, Pennsylvania. Ring of Honor. You could headline against El Generico. Better yet, you could be El Boringo.”

DM: “Stop. You’re not intelligent enough to promo with me. What am I doing in your promo anyway?”

SF: “Putting me over?”

A blowgun dart all the sudden is embedded in the wall near Fulton’s head. The camera quick pans down the hall to see Kayfabe lower a blowgun tube and give Fulton the evil eye.

DM: “You’re not worth my time, fraud.”

Moreland walks away as Fulton pulls the dart out of the wall.

SF: (quietly to himself) “Soon, you evil bitch. Soon we will have it out.”

FADE

[BookerShark]

The Flyin' Hawai'ians are doing situps in sync as Noelani watches her stop watch.

N: Time.

Kai and Aina stop, rest with their elbows on their knees as Noelani hands them water bottles.

N: You guys are getting even better.

A: We're in the best shape we've been in in a while.

K: Kono likes my abs, brah.

N: Kono always likes your abs.

A: Firewoman probably likes mine.

Noelani cuts her eyes at Aina. He smiles and gets up.

N: Aina, can you grab my bag in the other room. I left it there. I have the ankle weights in there.

Aina leaves the room. As soon as he does, Noelani kneels down with her knees on Kai's feet. She looks him dead in the eye.

N: Listen to me, Kai. This week, when you face Eric O'Mac and Tytan...

K: I know. Represent us, our people...

N: No.

K: No?

N: We've been ignored by those clowns. Regicide are being handed our spot on a silver platter. We're being ignored and taken for granted.

K: Okay...

N: I want you to remind everyone what you are. What you are capable of.

K: What do you want me to do?

N: Hurt them.

K: Hurt them? Bo da dem?

N: Make a statement. Take 'em out. And when we face them for the belts again. They're as good as ours.

Aina comes back in. Noelani stands back up as Aina hands her the bag.

N: Kai, we clear?

K: Fo' Shua

[BookerShark]

Random Sexy Female Journalist #138 is seen outside the Destroyatorium talking with her Invisible Ninja Camera Crew. They appear to be going over production notes.

RSFJ138: Okay boys, we are scheduled to interview Drink and Destroy this week. They are coming off a big title win, and we all know how those boys like to celebrate. Be ready for anything, and hopefully we can at least get a sound byte or two.

RSFJ138 steadies herself, motions for the crew to follow, and then shoves through the door into the Destroyatorium. She makes it about two steps before she stops stunned at what she sees. The camera pans over her shoulder, and we see a rather serene scene. Outback Jack sits at the bar sipping on a Fosters as Ashley pours him another. DH and Spencer appear to be playing darts on the far wall, DVD is doing paperwork, and Danny Taylor is filling up Shotglass's dish with food. Other than the shiny new Trios Championships above the bar, it looks like business as usual.

RSFJ138: Wha..Buh...How....Why?

Danny notices her shock and comes over motioning if she is okay.

RSFJ138: You just won titles, where is the party, the noise, the ruckus?

Outback comes over to join Danny.

OBJ: (Belches) That's Australian for Not this time Sheila.

RSFJ138: But aren't you guys happy you won the Trios belts?

DH comes over joining the group.

DH: Of course we are. It's always an honor to hold gold in this company. We are really happy about it.

OBJ: The thing is, the match had a little bit of controversy to it.

RSFJ138: Controversy?

DDT makes fake horns with his hands. RSFJ138 just looks confused until DVD yells out "moose" from across the room.

DH: Exactly the Texans are too good to be taken down because Moose had to stick his nose where it didn't belong.

OBJ: So this week the Measuring sticks of the tag division step in the ring with the Hardcore Beer Drinking Freaks, and we put on a tag team clinic. It's time to remind Regicide, The Hawaiians and especially the Brass Knuckle Kings, what real tag team wrestling is all about.

With that DDT and OBJ do the knucklebump of respect. DDT then makes a belt motion around his waist and taps on his hand twice.

DH: Danny's right, the Texans deserve another shot and we will give it to them whenever they want it.

RSFJ138: The Texans? Don't you mean Run DLP?

All three of them smile, and DVD breaks out into a full belly laugh from the other side of the room.

DH: Davin seems to be preoccupied at the moment.

Danny nods in agreement.

OBJ: This offer is for the Texans, if they want to partner with Davin again, that's fine. If they want to team with Stank or Darling or Lobo or Carl from Fresno it's fine. All they have to do is pick a partner and pick a place.

RSFJ138: When did you guys get the ability to book matches.

DDT smiles widely at this.

OBJ: We haven't but this guy (DDT pats DH on the shoulder) is facing the guy who does this week. I'm sure he can "persuade" him to see things our way.

DH smiles wickedly at this and DDT just mouths the word boom. With that Outback Jack heads back to the bar and DH returns to his game of darts.

RSFJ138: So no party?

DDT shakes his head no, but motions for her to join them for a drink. RSFJ138 motions for the camera to cut, and we FADE.

[BookerShark]

Moosehead Jack and Firewoman are sitting for their weekly coffee, kind of like nothing ever happened. Kind of. This time Moose has his back to the door.

MHJ: So you're commissioner again? Why?

FW: So you didn't get it.

MHJ: Are you serious.

FW: Partly.

MHJ: So, you'll put yourself in close proximity to him, but you won't join us.

FW: Um...pretty much, yeah.

MHJ: Whatever. I need to know...this thing with me and Davin....whose side are you on?

FW: Seriously? You have to ask? I'm commissioner...I'm not allowed to take sides.

MHJ: No commissioner in the history of wrestling has ever followed that rule.

FW: I can't just get you to leave me out of it?

MHJ: No.

FW: Well, tough. I'm not getting involved, so leave me out of it completely.

MHJ: ....

FW: But....

MHJ: Yes?

FW: Well...you forgave me. He didn't.

MHJ: I win.

FW: If it comes to that. But it won't. Because you're leaving me out of it.

MHJ: Are you sure? He might take his ball and go wrestle for ProWrestling Ohio or something.

FW: Please...Like his offers from elsewhere impress me. Do you know I get at least one e-mail, text, or phone call a week from Dixie Carter wanting me to be a Knockout? And when Jericho and I got married, Vince was making me a very lucrative offer. I was contemplating ... what?

MHJ: You didn't marry Jericho.

FW: You know what I mean. Point is, Davin can say whatever he wants about being the Greatest of All Time. He can threaten to go to the competition. But almost any of us can make that leap at any given time. As commissioner I get inquiries all the time.

MHJ: Yeah?

FW: Yeah. Trust me, Davin's not nearly as special as he thinks he is. So let him rant.

MHJ: So....why didn't you leave?

FW: Well, after the Vegas show, Vince was less than thrilled, and --

MHJ: Right...what about TNA?

FW: I want to stay here.

MHJ: Yeah?

FW: Yeah, I mean, how many promotions have a woman as commissioner? And I'm not getting any younger. One day I might have to be like Edge and retire from injuries, but I love this business, Jackie. I don't know what I'd do without it.

MHJ: So...move into management, booking, and stuff, get some experience....good idea.

FW: Right...plus it'll be easier to manage for maternity leave and stuff.

MHJ: WHAT?

FW: Well, yeah...I wouldn't be able to wrestle, obviously, but since Alex is still disowned we'd still need the money, so....what?

MHJ: .....

FW: I had no idea you could get that shade of red, Moose.

MHJ: ......

FW: Moose...I'm kidding.

MHJ: ....What?

FW: Seriously...what if anything about me screams "Motherhood?"

MHJ: Well....nothing.

FW: Which is why it's totally never happening. Besides, with the role model I had for motherhood...that'd just be a disaster. Wow, you really fell for that, eh?

MHJ: It's not funny, Fire.

FW: It's hilarious.

MHJ: Where are you going?

FW: Gotta paint the nursery.

MHJ: Dammit, Fire...

FW: I have a meeting with ... I dunno, someone. Lucky has my schedule....see you later, Uncle Moose.

MHJ: You aren't funny.

Fire gets up to leave, but turns at the last minute to give Moose a kiss on the top of his head. He growls at her, but she laughs and walks away.

[BookerShark]

(Tytan and LD Williams are watching OOWFtv and catch the Hawaiians promo.)

Tytan: Wait...I thought I was fighting Aina.

LD: Damn and you had to go and piss of Kai. Now, I have to go and fight him.

Tytan:Good thing you are fighting him. He apparently wants to hurt me (Fake shaking) that guys head is like a coconut.

LD: Really you had to go there. You had to make the "Superfly" reference.

Tytan: What?

(They look at each other and laugh. Then their demeanor changes and it goes to intensity. Tytan then looks to the camera.)

Tytan: You see really it doesn't matter who I fight. I can fight Aina, Kai, Bryce, Eric. It doesn't matter! You see you are only beginning to realize who we are.

LD: We are Regicide. We are the ones that decided that we were going to turn the tag-division upside down. We are the ones that are the killer of Kings.

Tytan: We are the ones that do are best work in the ring. We don't cut the long winded promos that are the same tired crap over and over again.

LD: And we don't send fruit baskets either.

(Tytan looks over to LD.)

Tytan: It was a good fruit basket.

(LD thinks about it and then agrees.)

LD: Still we don't do that either.

Tytan: We just get in the ring and kick ass enough said.

LD: Bryce,Kai and Eric, and Aina it doesn't matter who we face this team is on a mission we are going to beat you and take what's ours.

Tytan: And as far as you Hawaiians thinking we are getting this handed on a sliver platter. We expected more of a fight from you then that. Besides at Mayhem the only thing that's going to be getting handed out is ass kickings from Regicide.

LD: (shakes his head) Now, I see why you don't do long promos.

(FADE)

[BookerShark]

*Moosehead Jack looks back down as his coffee as Firewoman walks away. Unfortunately for him, he's got his back to the door, and never hears Davin blast him in the head with Trusty Rebar. That may not have knocked him out completely, but the dozen or so shots to the temple after that might have. Davin takes out a length of rope, and ties Moose's hands behind a drainage pipe. He takes HDB and smirks. He practices a swing a couple of times, but mostly he's killing time until Moose comes to. There he is. Davin swings as HDB CATCHES MOOSE RIGHT IN THE FACE! Moose howls in pain as Davin just steps away, enjoying how it's just sitting there stuck in his face. Davin takes a few steps backward, gets a running start, and DROPKICK TO HDB ALREADY BURIED IN MOOSE'S FACE. Moose is just yelling out in pain, and god knows how much pain he must be in. Davin grabs Trusty Rebar and leans in close to Moose*

DM: Don't forget who I am. And don't mistake me for someone else. It will be the biggest mistake you ever make.

*With that, Davin hits a big straight kick to HDB, which is, of course, still lodged in Moose's face. He starts cackling and we fade*

[BookerShark]

*Moosehead Jack regains consciouness. He opens his eyes and sees Stank standing over him.*

Stank - I think you pissed him off.

*Moose laughs and spits blood.*

MHJ - H...how do I loo.. look?

Stank - Like recycled shit.

MHJ - I was never g.. going to win any b..beauty contests, anyway.

*Stank leans down and helps Moose to his feet. The Champ then leans down and picks up HDB.*

Stank - Found this in your face.

*Stank hands the bat to Moose.*

MHJ - Thanks.

Stank - And this is as far in it as I get.

MHJ - What, you too?

Stank - Me too?

MHJ - My sister said the same thing.

Stank - Well. When she's sees what Davin did, I don't know if she'll feel the same, but I don't see changing my mind about this for the moment.

MHJ -

Stank - Situation was reversed back in the day. I never asked any of you for help.

MHJ - Do you hear me asking?

Stank - No.

MHJ - Then there you go.

Stank - Okay, then. Let's get you to medical.

Fade

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is SITTING~! at her desk, doing Commissioner stuff. Oddly, she doesn't look nearly as stressed as Rick or Stank or anyone else does. Huh. She looks up at OOWF TV and sees the attack on Moose. She stands.....takes several...SEVERAL deep breaths....and sits back down. She stares down, as her right hand makes a fist into her left palm., her shoulders almost imperceptibly shaking with rage. A few more deep breaths later, and she looks up, a little calmer, but not by much. She presses a buzzer on her desk, and looks down again. The door opens...

CMF: Lucky, I need--

JS: Lucky's on a break. I told him I'd watch the phones.

Firewoman looks up annoyed.

CFW: Justin....what the fuck are you doing here. And where's Lucky?

JS: On abreak. He paid me 5 bucks to watch the phones while--

CFW: *lighting up* Whatever. Shut up. Go get Davin and tell him to get to my office.

JS: Davin....Moreland?

CFW: Do you know another Davin?

JS: It's just...he's crazy.

CFW: So am I, Justin. And a witch, remember?

JS: Y-y-y-y-y-yes.......

CFW: So I win. Go.

JS: What if he says no?

CFW: Tell him it's not a request. Go.

JS: Yes, my lady.

CFW: Huh?

JS: I was doing some reading and that's what they call witches right?

CFW: I.....guess?

Justin bows deeply before he leaves. Firewoman simply stares after him, cigarette brought only half way to her lips. She shakes her head....and goes back to smoking and thinking.

*Time warp*

There's a sarcastic knock on the door. Sure, knocks can be sarcastic.

CFW: Come in.

DM: Well, well, Madame Commssioner, what can I do for--

CFW: Sit down and shut up.

Davin contemplates it for a moment, then smirks and sits down, again sarcastically.

CFW: ....

DM: ....

CFW: You know, a few months ago, you'd be laying in a pool of your own blood for that.

DM: A few months ago you were doing that to your brother all by yourself. And I was....from a stab wound in my knee. So, you're point?

CFW: My point......my point......

Firewoman stands, walking around the desk. Moreland tenses, but doesn't lose his smirk.

CFW: My point is, Davin, that I have to think beyond petty family feuds. And uphill battle for our family, I know. We have a long history of--

DM: We have a long history of crazy. In fact, do the world a favor, Fire. Don't reproduce.

CFW: Huh?

DM: You had a terrible role model for a mother, and your history shows that apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Firewoman gets considerably angrier than she was.

DM: It's probably best the Sheehan line dies here with the three of us.

CFW: Siodhachain.

DM: Whatever.

CFW: Bloody Sassanach.

At this, Davin stands, towering over Fire, who, of course, doesn't back down.

CFW: Davin...I was going to try and convince the board to give you a travel exception. You can forget that now.

DM: That's your retaliation?

CFW: Moose also gets whatever stips he wants.

DM: He already does.

Kayfabe comes in and shakes her head, but decides against getting in between the two of them.

DM: So I have to travel with the unwashed masses. OOoo.....

CFW: One more thing. No more backstages.

DM: What are you going to do, take my catering club card away?

CFW: No, Davin. I'll forget I'm commissioner for the day.

DM: Do what you think you can. I'm the Greatest of All Time.

CFW: Yeah? And I'm the fucking commissioner. I can make your life a living hell, without drawing a drop of blood. And don't think I won't. Anything else would be icing on my cake, and would totally sparkle with me.

DM: I don't have to do a damn thing you say.

CFW: Yeah? I don't have to do a damn thing you want. So there ya go. And there's the door. Use it.

Davin turns to leave, then stops.

DM: This is how you have Moose's back now? He'll be so proud.

Firewoman sits down, props her feet up and smiles, taking another drag off her cigarette. It's hard to tell if this unnerves Davin or not. Maybe it does. Probably not. But it should. He *batistalaughs* then turns and leaves, slamming the door. Fire merely continues smiling.

[BookerShark]

As Davin leaves Commissioner Firewoman's office, he runs into J-P Sparxx and Jewel.

J-PS: Yo Davs, welcome back, bro.

DM: Hey, J-P. Great match with Stank. I knew you could beat him.

J-PS: Told ya the Spark was gon' git him, knowwhatI'msayin'.

Jewel: Now we know why fool wouldn't give ya da raise, knowhatI'msayin'?

DM: So what are you doing here?

J-PS: I was gon' lodge a complaint.

DM: Lodge?

J-PS: Is dat da right word?

DM: I guess? What's the complaint? Your raise?

J-PS: My complaint is dat I gotta team with Fuck That Guy.

DM: If you win you get to pick the stips for your match. Not bad.

J-PS: Yeah, but Stanenstein gets da Interconsiquental Champ. I get Fuck That Guy. Not fair, knowwhat"imsayin'?

DM: Yeah, he does suck. But I doubt the commish will help you. She and Stank are allies and they're all chummy.

Jewel: That is a total abuse and corruption of power.

J-P looks at Jewel stunned. Davin is amused.

DM: So anyway, don't waste your breath and energy. Focus on your match.

J-PS: Speakin' of wastin' energy, wudn't it you dat always said "Do not attack them backstage"? "Don't sink to their level" sum shit like dat?

DM: Yes, I said that. Do as I say, not as I do.

J-P takes off his shades and eyeballs Davin, which surprises him some.

J-PS: Davs, homey, in case you fuhgotten, GFY is no mo. An' I ain't gots ta do nuthin' ya say anymo, ya feel me? Ya told me I's on ma own, an' guess what? I just beat da champ. So ya wanna play with ol' Moosefucker Jack? Play his games? Sink to his level? Das fine. Be a hypocrite. Yeah, I knows big words sumtimes. I gots ur back, ya know I do. But I'm disappointed, knowwhatI'msayin'?

J-P takes a step back and puts his shades back on. Davin seems like he's not sure whether to hit him or laugh.

J-PS: Now, if ya'd excuse us. I gots a match ta prep for.

J-P puts his arm around Jewel.

J-PS: An' sum sex ta have, right baby?

Jewel: Sho, baby.

J-PS: Deuces, Davs.

J-P flashes the peace sign as he and Jewel walk plast Davin. davin watches them leave with a grin.

DM: Go get 'em, Champ.

[BookerShark]

*Fade in to the locker room at the Estadio de Fútbol Estúpido, where we find El Lobo Sangriento PACKING~! for the flight to Chile. Suddenly, out of nowhere, taking Lobo completely by surprise, SFJ415 shows up to ask some questions. What, you thought something interesting was going to happen?

SFJ: So, Lobo, what are your thoughts on facing the Commissioner one-on-one at Mayhem?

ELS: That I’m going to win.

SFJ: …

ELS: …

SFJ: That’s it? You did learn how to promo during your training, didn’t you?

ELS: Sorry, but it’s really that simple. Last week, I took the Onslaught champion to the limit, literally. He used all of his warnings, I used none. I was *thisclose* to being the new Onslaught champion. And that was against an opponent who took me seriously. The Commissioner? She seems to be a bit too preoccupied with family matters and paperwork. I’m not sure she even knows we have a match at Mayhem.

SFJ: Oh, I’m sure she does. You should never underestimate Firewoman.

ELS: I’m not. Not at all. I know what she’s been capable of in the past, and I know what she’s capable of now. No disrespect intended, but I just don’t think her head’s in the game. I’m not saying the match will be easy by any means, but I’m focused. I’m training. I’m reviewing tape. I’m doing everything I need to do to prepare to meet the Commissioner in the ring. Meanwhile, she’s distracted with her role as Commissioner. If she doesn’t think she needs to prepare for me, that’s fine. I like being underestimated. I like being the underdog. I’d have no problem being the underdog right up until I’m the top dog. And that day will come. But first, I need to defeat the Commissioner and prove to…uh, well, her or CEO Ecosystem or the President -- what happened to that guy? He sort of disappeared...

SFJ: He's "injured." Probably filming a movie or something.

ELS: Huh. Well, whoever’s booking the matches these days, anyway – I need to prove to that person…or those people…that I deserve another shot at the Onslaught title.

SFJ: So assuming you’ll get another shot at the title, who are you pulling for this week in the championship match?

ELS: It honestly doesn’t matter to me. I mean that. Alex and I had an incredible match a few weeks back. He got the better of me there, so I’d love to get the W back. On the other hand, I feel like I’ve got unfinished business in the ring with Evans. Either way, the next time I get a shot, I plan on making good and defending that title proudly for a very long time. That said, I’m not looking ahead any further than next Wednesday. El Lobo Sangriento versus Commissioner Firewoman at Mayhem. That’s where my focus is. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a plane to catch.

*FADE*

[BookerShark]

~~~ Texpress are having dinner somewhere in South America.... When they are approached by a Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist ~~~

RNSFJ: Chad Madison, Zane Myers, You lost your Trios Titles this past week, what do you have to say about that?

Zane: .....

Chad: .....

RNSFJ: ...... Ummm.... Hello?

Zane: Why are you here? Can I not eat a meal in peace?

Chad: What my partner means is... we'd be happy to give you an interview...

RNSFJ: Great!

Chad: ..... Once we get to the Punta Arenas (Cheap Pop!!!) Arena

RNSFJ: Oh. But I came all this way! (begins to cry)

~~~ Chad stands and puts his arm around her and offers her his bottle of Aquafina ~~~

Chad: Listen, It'll be Ok. When we get back to the arena, you and I will have a nice long sit down together. Sound good?

RNSFJ: Really?

Chad: Really Really.

~~~ This seems to pacify the RNSFJ, as she smiles, waves, and leaves the restaurant ~~~

Zane: ..... Smooth

Chad: Thank you. We should really talk about the match last week. You haven't said two words about it

Zane: .....

Chad: .....

Zane: .....

Chad: .....

Zane: ..... What do you want me to say? Sure, I'm pissed off that we lost.. Again I'm pissed even more that we lost Championships.

Chad: Davin..

Zane: Davin has nothing to do with this. Look at our record! Look at where we are in the rankings! You really have no problem with the way we've been floundering lately? I'm SICK of it! I'm TIRED of being DISRESPECTED!! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF LOSING!!!

~~~ Zane gets up in a hurry, knocking over the glasses on their table, and storms out of the restaurant. Chad scrambles behind him, dialing his Currently Unsponsored Cell Phone ~~~

Chad: Bridgette? Yeah, It;s Chad. No, No he's not........................It's bad. Almost as bad as last summer.................... I know you don't fly, but we need to figure out something...................... I don't think he's going to last until July........................ Maybe we could charter the HMS Tytannik?

~~~Fade~~~

[BookerShark]

<Moose walks out of medical carrying HDBIII. He has some fresh stitches thanks to Davin, but otherwise looks normal......well normal for Moose. SFJ13 catches up with Moose before he goes outside>

SFJ13: Moose, Davin committed a heinous attack on you what do you have to say about it?

MHJ: There is nothing to say

SFJ13: Nothing. Really?

MHJ: Nope. Davin is a complete fucking hypocrite. He leads the moron fans around by the nose and they fall for his schtick every single time. Hell even that idiot Sparxx fell for it. "Don't attack people backstage!" right.

<Moose shakes his head> Davin......watching you fall apart is really kind of sad. You mock me for being nothing more than a garbage wrestler. I am sure you come right down on Flair's side of this......what is it he said? a "glorified stunt man?" Davin Moreland, the Greatest of All Time, resorting to the same tactics that the sad 'ol washed up Moosehead Jack would do. Attacking me backstage.........with Happy DethBat........its a shame really Davin. I thought maybe you were better than this. Clearly, I was wrong.

See ya soon Diva

<Moose turns and walks into the parking lot, meets up with Stank, Fulton, LD and Tytan and presumably heads to the local dive>

[BookerShark]

(Tytan and LD are driving to the dive bar. There is a strange silence between them.)

Tytan: So, this is how it begins?

LD: Yep.

Tytan: Cool.

LD: What will happen from here on out will be totally different from cool.

Tytan: Whatever, I am in.

LD: Cool.

(They go back to driving in silence.)

[BookerShark]

<Moose, Stank, LD, Tytan and Fulton are all in the bar, they are all pretty far along being wasted. LD and Tytan get up to play pool and Fulton challenges a local to darts. Moose and Stank sit at the table and Moose begins to grin>

Stank: I know that look. What is so damn funny?

MHJ: You are the man I see about my contract, right?

Stank: Shit Moose.....not now......I am off the clock

MHJ: Come on Stank, I will make it real simple for you

Stank: <shaking his head> Nothing with you is ever simple.

MHJ: This will be.

Stank: Fine. What.

MHJ: How much is Davin getting?

Stank: You know I can't disclose financials

MHJ: Fine. It doesn't matter. I have put in more service time than he has. I want whatever he is making.

Stank: You want the same amount of money that Davin Moreland is making.

MHJ: Yes

Stank: That's all?

MHJ: Plus one dollar

Stank:.........

MHJ:.........

Stank: You're serious?

MHJ: Yes

Stank: <shaking his head> That will piss him off no doubt

MHJ: Do I care?

Stank: Do you have to deal with him?

MHJ: Do we have a deal?

<Stank thinks for a minute>

Stank: Sure, why the hell not.

MHJ: No matter what he does, I get $1 more

Stank: Yep, fine, his contract is already done anyway

<the two shake hands sealing the deal and Moose grins and gets up to head to the bathroom. As he walks by, Justin Sane leaps out of nowhere onto Moose's back>

MHJ: Justin........what the hell are you doing?

Justin: AVENGING MY BOSS!

MHJ: Avenging him from what?

Justin: I saw you put the dreaded Arabian Hand Lock on him! His death WILL NOT GO UNPUNISHED!

MHJ: <sighing> Justin........it was a handshake.........and your boss is very much alive. Take a look

<Justin looks over and sees Stank down another beer>

Justin: Oh

MHJ: Yeah

Justin: So......uh.....I should probably get off your back then

MHJ: That depends

Justin: On?

MHJ: How long you want to live

<Justin gets off of Moose's back>

Justin: Hey, you know, honest misunderstanding, right?

<Moose shakes his head and starts toward the bathroom>

Justin: Uh, hey, Moose, uh, can I borrow five dollars?

MHJ: How bout a dollar?

<Moose tosses a dollar bill at Justin, Justin scoops it up and yells PEANUTS! and heads toward the bar>

[BookerShark]

*While Moosehead Jack is in the bathroom. Davin Moreland walks into the bar and sits next to Stank.*

Stank - Wow.

DM - I know, right?

Stank - The set on you.

DM - Grapefruits.

Stank - You know Moose is going to come out here any second and tear you a new one.

DM - Let him try. I got business to discuss

Stank - I hope it's not with me?

DM - Of course it is. You think I would lower myself by coming into this backwater dive for someone else?

Stank - Davin I'm off the clock.

DM - I saw on my IPHONE 4 *endorsement deal pending* that you were just conducting business with your mushfaced friend Mooseyhead Jack.

Stank - Gotdamn ninjacams.

DM - So you will hear my complaint.

Stank - Davin, first of all, what you saw on your IPhone was not anything for you to worry about.

DM - Really? And I say that incredulously for the benefit of those who are reading this off their computer screens.

*Kayfabe falls off her stool at the end of the bar. Bouncers pick up her drunken carcass and toss her out the place.*

Stank - Second I'm off the fucking clock.

DM - Lucas if you pay Moose a dollar more than me you will be in breach of contract.

Stank - Davin, I got it covered... trust me.

DM - Trust you.

Stank - Davin my days lately are a constant struggle between what I want to do and what I should. There's a balance that I have to maintain for the benefit of all. What I want to do is smack you around a bit for the backstage attack on my friend Moosehead Jack... but I understand why you did it. Hell I've done it myself... I've done it to you in fact. It is with that in mind that I sit here cordially and conversate with you. What you need to keep in mind is that in spite of appearances I have, not just you, but everyone's best interest at heart. I sincerely doubt you could say that for any other wrestler were they put in the position I have been put in. I conduct business outside the ring much different than I do inside. Don't fuck that up by coming up to me talking about breaches of your contract because if I truly wanted to be fair... I would be the highest paid motherfucker here besides Eco... as it stands I'm not even in the top 5. So... we can discuss your complaint after I have drawn the paperwork for Moose's contract, absent the ninjacams hopefully.

DM -

Stank - Right now I'm off the clock.

DM - I'm not letting this go.

Stank - I don't expect you too.

DM - This isn't us swerving the fans again.

Stank - Nope.

DM - I'll see you later, Lucas.

Stank - Davin.

*Davin Moreland rises from his seat and exits the bar without further incident.*

Fade

[BookerShark]

*Fade in to the Hallway of Corporate Offices in the Tazón de Chile in Punta Arenas where we find El Lobo Sangriento APPROACHING~! Stank’s office and, therefore, the Desk of Justin Sane…

ELS: Hey, Justin. Is Stank in? I haven’t cut a contract promo yet.

JS: Lemme check on that for you, Al.

ELS: Al?

JS: Yeah. Al. As in Al “Loco” Sangria.

ELS: It’s El Lobo Sangriento. How can you not know that? I’ve been here for like six weeks. We’ve had multiple conversations.

JS: Meh. We get a lot of turnover around here. I don’t start paying attention to the new guys for a while.

ELS: Fair enough. I guess. Anyway, is Stank in?

JS: That depends. Got–

*Lobo interrupts Justin by handing him a five-dollar bill…

JS: Go right in. He’s expecting you.

ELS: How could he be expecting me? I didn’t have an app–

Stank: Because I’ve been standing behind you for the last few minutes.

ELS: And you couldn’t have saved me the trouble of that conversation with Justin?

Stank: To be honest, I wanted to see if he’d get five bucks out of you. It’s become like a morbid curiosity for me. In any event, you mentioned a contract promo. Let’s step into my office and get that started.

ELS: No need. We can do it right here. I saw your conversation the other day with Sparxx. I’m fine with the terms of the rookie contract. I just have one question.

Stank: Sure. Shoot.

ELS: Is my contract being renewed?

Stank: I’m not sure I understand.

ELS: I signed a probationary contract before I got here. There were no guarantees. It was basically “prove yourself, and we might give you a full-time gig.” So again, is my contract being renewed?

Stank: Lobo, you’re 4-1-1. You’ve beaten some of the best this company’s ever seen, and you looked great in your two non-wins. You’ve got your rookie contract locked up.

ELS: Awesome. Just one more question then: the bonus structure’s based on title wins and main events. Is there a max on that? I plan on costing the company a lot of money in that regard.

Stank: That’s what I like to hear, Lobo. You're going to fit in just fine around here.

*FADE*

[BookerShark]

*OOWF Training Facility*

Alexander Darling and Firewoman are running through some moves and counter moves as they both prepare for their Onslaught matches this week. Fire goes for an Enzuigui, but Alexander is able to duck and before Fire can react, Alex slides his hand between her legs, crossing them and flipping her over and he locks in the Money Clip. Fire quickly scurries to the ropes but Alex doesn't let go as he steps through the ropes and use them as extra leverage.

Alexander: Remember, the sooner you get them to use their rope breaks, the more leverage you can use later in matches like this.

Alexander pulls back and even Fire's flexibility can't handle the torque on her back and she has no choice but to tap. Alexander quickly lets go and hops off the apron to the floor and grabs 2 bottles of water. Fire gets to her feet and stretches out her back before catching the bottle of water Alex tosses to her.

Firewoman: Stupid rules. Why can't I just beat him up like I want to?

Alexander: Because sometimes rules allow people to see just how talented someone is. Anyone can grab a lighttube and slam it over someone's head or use shortcuts to get ahead, but it takes a real wrestler to compete within a uniform set of rules to prove who is truly better.

Firewoman: Still stupid. I am commissioner, can't I just change the Onslaught rules?

Alexander: You could, but then our training session would be over and you wouldn't be able to play with my surprise.

Firewoman: I like surprises...gimme, gimme.

Alexander: You have been good recently, so I guess I can allow it...Lexie, come on in.

Alexis Darling enters the training area and a step behind her is Johnny Gargano. Alex steps up to Johnny and shakes his hand.

Thanks for coming by. I saw your stuff Mania weekend. Tore the house down those first two night. I've gotta cut a promo, mind showing Fire those new submission moves you've been working on.

Johnny: Not a prob, Alex. Good luck against Evans this week.

Gargano slides into the ring and begins circling Fire and shoots for a double-leg as the camera motions around the gym to where Alexander and Lexie are standing by in front of a new Darling banner (still in the process of being made) but it's of a yin-yang with the darker half being a wolf, the lighter half being a unicorn, and the background being a bald eagle with it's wings holding up the yin-yang. Lexie has the microphone...

Alexis: Alex, within the last week or so, you made a bold proclamation that you were going to get back in the game and deal with the obstacles facing you specifically and the OOWF in general. Why now?

Alexander: Because if I don't do it now, it might be too late. I've looked around this company and I see what's happening. I remember being caught unaware when The Five formed because I was lost at the time. But I'm not lost now and this time it might be worse because it's not just going be Moose and his new band of lackeys. There's the Kings and their lackeys. Davin can always get people to back him up. Eco, for all his faults is charismatic and people are drawn to that. And there's no more fiercely loyal a group than Drink & Destroy. So I see all this and while I know that I have allies in the back, I still can realize the lines are being drawn around the locker room.

Alexis: Right after your interview last week, Stan Fulton was the first to make reference to it. What are your thoughts on that?

Alexander: Fulton is nothing if not an opportunist. I talk about a call to arms, and Fulton says he'd be there and then less than 5 minutes later, he's out there having drinks with Moose and his buddies. Fulton has all the talent in the world, but for such a large man, he is easily swayed by the winds in this company.

Alexis: So, are you looking at anyone specific for this war you seem to think is coming or no?

Alexander: Not really Lexie. As we've seen, my judge of character has not been the greatest when it comes to wrestling alignments. I've tried being partners, I've tried being an enforcer, and I've tried being a leader and truthfully none have really fit me. If people want to stand side by side with me, then let them and I will be happy to call them friends and allies, but there is no recruitment drive. There is just wrestling and there is just the future. If you want a future wrestling company controlled by people like Eric O'Mac and Ecosystem and Moosehead Jack then you're not someone I want to work with. If you want a wrestling company based on WRESTLING and skill and talent and doing things the right way and getting what you deserve because you earned it, then stand with me and we will win this clash of kings and we will sit upon the throne as rulers of the wrestling world.

Alexis: That takes care of the grand scheme of things, but on a more individual basis, you have another chance to become Onslaught Champion for the second time against Chris Evans. Your history with him is less than stellar, especially in recent months...what will be different this week?

Alexander: Estimation. See, the truth is I've never estimated Chris Evans all that highly and I've considered him a joke for the most part. While my personal opinions of him have not changed, inside the ring he knows how to get the job done. Whether its by hook or by crook, he holds onto that Onslaught Title like it's part of his very essence. He will do anything to keep it and I had thought if I showed him we were both capable of playing by those rules that it would rattle him. It really didn't and the truth is it did me more harm than good.

Alexis: Sometimes the ends justify the means, do they not?

Alexander: Sometimes yes...but if I'm out here claiming that I need to be the one to hold the line against the dark forces in this company then I have to act the part even when it's to prove a point. So this week, I will be proving another point. I underestimated Chris Evans in the ring and it's cost me. This week, I will not make that mistake but I have the feeling he will be making that mistake. He thinks that because he's gotten the better of me in our recent matches that I don't have the focus or drive. I want him to make that mistake. Because when all is said and done, I will be walking out of the arena as the new OOWF Onslaught Champion and the balance of power in the OOWF will slightly shift back to where it belongs.

Alexis: Why have you made Chris Evans such a target?

Alexander: Because I've been there Lexie. You know that as well as I do and while there are some great peaks living that life...hell, I took out a living legend because I was arrogant and thought I deserved the world. The fact is it's fleeting. Those peaks, they come with significant valleys and the more Chris Evans wants to raise himself up on these pedestals the more and more I want to be the one to knock him off because I needed someone to do that to me and I needed to listen. If Evans, isn't willing to listen to the words, then he'll listen to the actions. And nothing hurts more than losing something you believe you have the right to. If Evans believes he has the right to the Onslaught Title and I take that from him...well, sometimes battles have to be fought for wars to be won. And I have no intention of losing either the battle or the war. Because I am Alexander Darling, and he's just not.

*Fade*