OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (06/22) Live! From Tunis, Tuni

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Tunis, Tunisi

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Zane Myers vs. Stan Fulton

Round Robin Tournament for an OOWF World Heavyweight Title Shot[/u]
Matt Folz vs. Davin Moreland
Chris Evans vs. Davin Moreland
Matt Folz vs. Chris Evans

Gauntlet Match for an OOWF Onslaught Championship Pay Per View Title Shot[/u]
Chad Madison vs. El Lobo Sangriento vs. Mai Muyo vs. Psykle

No Disqualification, Non-Title Match[/u]
Brass Knuckle Kings vs. Drink & Destroy

Neither Title On The Line[/u]
Alexander Darling vs. Stank

Ketsueki Seishin (w/Aisha & Moosehead Jack) vs. J-P SParxx (w/Jewel & Davin Moreland)
Kai vs. Tytan
Aina vs. LD Williams
JW Westgaard vs. DH Magnusson

Card subject to More Political Unrest

[BookerShark]

*Davin's locker room. His Angels are there, and Davin comes into the room fresh from a shower. He's got a t-shirt on with a picture of Ronald McDonald on the front, and it says "Got Clowns?" on the bottom. The back says "Get Crusher Over. Follow @crusherfulton on Twitter". He takes a couple of steps and then plops down into a chair, closing his eyes.*

SFJ420: Hey man, you all right?

DM: Oh, yeah Moony. That just took WAY longer than I expected. He's got a smart manager, hiding all his tape, let me tell you.

OGMSJ: Was he better than you thought?

DM: Umm...I don't know about better really. Just I didn't know what the fuck was coming next. Glad he's a rookie. Possum always works on the rookies. And this Psykle guy clearly isn't as smart as his manager. Still, 17 minutes?

SDM: Yup, about that.

DM: Well, maybe the kid will get a rub out of it.

SDM: There's something you should see, honey.

DM: What?

SDM: E-mail I got. Apparently it's a promo.

DM: Why would I care about that?

SDM: From Moose.

DM: Wait, really?

*Samantha moves the laptop in front of Davin and presses a button*

THIS PLAYS WHEN YOU CLICK THE LINK (you have to click it because I can't embed...Just do it. Please?)

DM: Well, a little honesty seems to have done him good. No wonder he clearly begged Selena for that no-contact order.

*fade*

[BookerShark]

<Moose is walking backstage and an INC catches up with him and walks alongside him. We hear the cameraman ask Moose a question>

INC: Moose did you see Davin’s promo?

MHJ: <laughing> Is that what we are calling it? The last refuge of a desperate man. Davin……I guess that is supposed to get under my skin. I guess that is supposed to annoy me. Your desperate attempts of calling attention to yourself……man, it is just pathetic. What’s wrong? Was the whole “get in the ring and put my face on different pictures to mock me” not an option? Or are you saving that for the big finale?

<Moose turns the corner and the cameraman keeps up with him>

MHJ: The facts remain the same Davin…..you can say whatever you want, the fact is, it doesn’t matter at all if you can’t back up your words. Can you beat me Sunday? Can you Davin? No. No you can’t. So keep on talking. Keep on making shit up. Keep on getting yourself over at all costs. Keep talking, please, I am begging you. Cause after Sunday, after I beat you, I REALLY want to hear what you have to say then.

<Moose turns and opens a locker room door. The INC stops, but we see Moose has walked into the locker room where Stank, LD Williams, Tytan and Stan Fulton have gathered. Stank grins and Moose shakes his hand, the door closes and we fade to black>

[BookerShark]

~~~ Texpress are walking out of the OOWF Arena and heading for their Charter, when a Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist rushes in from off screen to interrupt them. ~~~

RNSFJ: Zane, Zane Myers You just won the OOWF intercontinental Title...

Zane: .... Championship ......

RNSFJ: That's what i said? .... Anyway. You have never expressed any interest in singles titles. Why the sudden change?

Zane: I was put into a match. I went out and did everything I could to win. I was successful.

RNSFJ: Ummmm... yeah. So, Is this the end of Texpress? Are you moving on to seek singles glory?

~~~ Zane no-sells her question and brushes past her. Chad, Bridgette & Zane board the Texpress Charter Bus headed for Tunis.... Awkward silence has ensued ~~~

Chad: So now what?

Zane: What do you mean? This wasn't my idea.

Chad: Yeah, but still, you sit here for weeks on end blasting me about having a singles career, for winning some Mickey Mouse Title..

Zane:... Championship...

Chad: Whatever. The point is.... Here YOU sit, Intercontinental Champion.

Zane: So what's the solution then? What should we do? What should I do?

Chad: I seem to remember a conversation like this a few weeks back. You told me to vacate it.

Zane: No.

Chad: No? Oh, so when I win a singles championship, I should vacate it for the good of the team, but when You win one... it's ok?

Zane: I.... I was... wrr.......I was wrrrrrrrrr...........iwaswrong

Bridgette: Oh my goodness, I think the Apocalypse is upon us! Hell freezes over! Pigs Fly! Mountains crumble to the sea!

~~~ Zane stares at her as she breaks out in giggles. Chad seems to not react. ~~~

Chad: How do those words taste coming out of your mouth?

Zane: Are you two finished? I'm going to do the only thing I can, defend this championship to the best of my ability.

Chad: Hmmph. So again we're not teaming. Should I call John Roberts back and see if I can get some more bookings?

Zane: No. I promised to get back to the training and sparring and match prep we used to do. I'm keeping that promise. But We will probably be booked separately for a while.

Chad: Hmmph

Bridgette: I thought you'd be more supportive. You have been an OOWF Singles champion before. Why can't Zane have his chance?

Chad: I was only doing that because HE wasn't here! As soon as Zane returned, with you in tow, we went back to teaming. I never once asked for, wanted or received a rematch for the Onslaught Championship. I didn't go chasing the OVOOWF International Television Championship after I lost it either.

Zane: I.... I know. But realistically, what am I supposed to do?

Chad: Just do whatever you want man.

~~~ Chad slips some headphones over his ears and closes his eyes. Zane and Bridgette both shrug and begin to whisper quietly to each other as we fade.

[BookerShark]

CUT to the Donovan Viper Memorial Hallway of Random Encounters™, sponsored by VISA®. A random SFJ is running.

SFJ66: “Crusher! Wait up!”

The Crusher Stan Fulton, farther down the hallway, stops and turns around at the sound of the SFJ.

SF: “What?”

SFJ66: “Can I get a word or two from you?”

SF: “Why the fuck not? Go ahead.”

SFJ66: “Good morning everyone. My guest at this time is former OOWF Intercontinental Champion, The Crusher Stan Fulton. Stan, you just lost the Intercontinental title at Mayhem last night. Can you tell me what you’re feeling?”

SF: (visibly angry) “What I’m feeling?! I’ll tell you what I’m feeling! I’m extremely pissed off at that lil’ bitch who’s passing for our General Manager. She tells me one week I have the week off from defending my title, then drops me into a title match against someone for whom I haven’t prepped the next week. Add to that, the ref screws up and didn’t see I had my shoulder up the same time that Zane did.

“So to wrap it up for all the tiny-brained people watching, I was screwed out of my title by the OOWF and that poor excuse for a GM.”

SFJ66: “You get a return match on Wednesday at the next Mayhem though.”

SF: “Yes I do. And I plan to go in there and take my belt back from Cowboy Emo.”

SFJ66: “You just came from a meeting with Moosehead Jack, Stank, Tytan and LD Williams. What was discussed in there?”

SF: “I can neither confirm nor deny that I had a meeting with the men you mentioned. Nor can I confirm nor deny anything that may or may not have been discussed in said meeting that may or may not have taken place at that time or any future time.”

SFJ66: “Wow. Really?”

SF: “I was a paralegal before I got into wrestling.”

SFJ66: “Ooooooo-kay. Let’s change subjects. Clowns.”

Fulton starts to noticeably tremble at the subject.

SF: “I’d rather not discuss that.”

SFJ66: “No really. What’s your problem with clowns and/or little people?”

SF: “Clowns are evil. Clowns make children cry. Pennywise. The Joker. The Insane Clown Posse. Doink. JW Westgaard. John Wayne Gacy. They’re all clowns. All rotten.

“And midgets? Might be worse. Mini Me. Hornswoggle. The Half Pint Brawlers? Tyrion Lannister. JP Sparxx. I rest my case.”

SFJ66: “What case?”

SF: “Moving on. “Cowboy Emo” Zane Myers. You have what’s mine. I’m taking it back on Wednesday night. You can go back to tag teaming with your little buddy, “The One Night Stand” Chad Madison, and losing opening matches. You are the past and I am the future of this company. So just be gracious in defeat and hand over my belt.”

Fulton walks away, smashing random hallway items with his axe handle.

SFJ66: “Uh. Thanks, Crusher.”

FADE

[BookerShark]

GM Selena is sitting at her desk, chewing on her nails. She's watching OOWF-TV and seems visibly upset. Chuckles the Clown is seated across from her breaking heads off dolls.

CtC: Eh, juh, juh, juh, juh.

GMSa-T: I KNOW!

CtC: Eh, juh.

GMSa-T: I know I screwed up. I thought Crusher would do just that, crush the idiot.

CtC: Juh, juh.

GMSa-T: I LIKE Crusher. I mean his name is Crusher, how awesome is that?

CtC: Juh, juh...eh juh.

GMSa-T: He'll get it back this week. I have faith in him.

CtC: Juh.

GMSa-T: Well, if he doesn't... he'll find out I don't take kindly to being called a 'bitch'.

CtC: Eh, juh juh juh juh.

GMSa-T: And that's disgusting. You can leave now.

CtC: Juh.

GMSa-T: GET!

[BookerShark]

<Fire is sitting in Ric’s Sandwich Shoppe when Moose walks up with two cups of coffee. He sets one in front of Fire and sits down. Fire takes a sip and spits it out on the floor>

FW: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP?

MHJ: Sanka

FW: Sanka. Where the fuck did you get SANKA? Do they still even make that shit?

MHJ: Clearly they do, and I have my ways

FW: Since when do YOU like Sanka?

MHJ: Me? I am not drinking that shit. That stuff is horrible

FW: Well, what do you have then?

MHJ: I have some Kopi Luwak

FW: You do not

<Moose pulls the bag out of his jacket pocket, Fire’s jaw drops and she almost starts drooling on herself>

FW: WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT?

MHJ: Swung through Indonesia on my way back, thought I should treat myself

FW: Give me some

MHJ: In your condition? No way.

FW: I wasn’t asking

MHJ: And I’m telling you………no

FW: You’re an asshole

MHJ: You say this as if it were something new

<Fire pouts, Moose laughs>

MHJ: Yeah yeah…..here, I did bring you something

<Moose pulls a Tamagushi out of his pocket and hands it to Fire>

MHJ: It’s a Shinto thing…….some sort of ceremonial…….

FW: Yes, I know what it is. <Fire looks like she is welling up a little> Thank you

<They sit in silence for a moment>

MHJ: So, I mean, have you been to a doc yet?

FW: Well Dr. Podvod….

MHJ: I mean a REAL doctor

FW: Have you noticed we are in the middle of nowhere?

MHJ: Right, cause all of Alex’s millions couldn’t afford a plane ticket back to the states

FW: There wasn’t time

MHJ: Uh huh. If I recall, you were suspended

FW: That’s not the point

MHJ: Right. Well whatever it is, you know, good luck and all

FW: Wow, don’t sound quite so enthused

MHJ: What do you want me to say?

FW: How bout “wow, congratulations Fire! This is great!” or, “I know you will be a great mother!” Shit like that

MHJ: Yeah, uh huh

FW:………….you aren’t happy for me at all are you?

MHJ: What do you want me to say here?

FW: I want you to be honest

MHJ: No you don’t

FW: Yes I do.

MHJ: NO, YOU FUCKING DON’T!

FW: YES. I. FUCKING. DO!

MHJ: FINE! You want the truth? This is the worst fucking thing that could have possibly happened to you! There? Are you HAPPY?

FW: The worst possible thing to happen to ME? Or the worst possible thing to happen to YOU?

MHJ: It has nothing to DO with me. You fucked yourself over the second that little shit stain didn’t file the fucking papers

FW: ……..you unbelievable bastard

MHJ: You wanted the truth

FW: You aren’t even going to try, are you?

MHJ: Try what?

FW: Being a family!

MHJ: WITH HIM?

FW: With US!

MHJ: Are you out of your fucking mind?

FW: Alex is NOT that bad. You are exaggerating things!

MHJ: EXAGGERATING? REALLY? Do the words KIDNAP AND TORTURE mean a fucking thing to you?

FW: You are never going to let that go are you?

MHJ: You really expect me to?

FW: For ME? You can’t do that FOR ME?

MHJ: Fire……..that is a dick move right there. You know GODDAMN well that I hate that bastard. I hated him BEFORE you came along. I hated him EVEN MORE when he did what he did. Then, I hated him even more for MARRYING you. Just when I think he can’t fucking insult me anymore, he fucking KNOCKS YOU UP! YOU are carrying fucking DARLING spawn, and I am just supposed to be OK with that? That man tried his damndest to KILL me, and I am just supposed to look the other way? Are you fucking serious?

<Fire stands up, knocking the table aside>

FW: YOU CAN’T STAND TO SEE ME HAPPY, CAN YOU?

<Moose jumps to his feet, knocking his chair back>

MHJ: WITH HIM? NO!

<Fire and Moose glare at one another with rage in their eyes>

FW: ………fuck………you

MHJ:……..I’m not a Darling

<with that Moose and Fire grab each other by the shirts and start HAMMERING one another with punches to the face, it’s a good old fashioned hockey fight. After a minute or so of this, Ric comes out from the back and tries to stop them. Moose and Fire both stop at the same time, grab Flair by the shirt and SLAMS him in the face with dual headbutts. Flair staggers backward, then falls to the floor, out cold. Fire and Moose stop and look at one another, both breathing heavily. Moose looks at Fire, Fire stares back>

MHJ: This how its going to be?

FW: I dunno, is it?

MHJ: I told you Fire, you did what you did, I don’t like it, and I never will, but it is what it is. I have accepted it as much as I can. You can either accept that, or move on

FW: If you two would just fucking stop……

MHJ: Fire…..

FW: <signing> Yeah, fine. It is what it is.

<Moose grunts and walks away. Fire looks down and picks up the Tamagushi Moose gave her and stares at it sadly as we fade to black>

[BookerShark]

*Scheme Gene is interviewing Outback Jack*

SG: Drink and Destroy are facing The Brass Knuckle Kings this week and...

*OBJ's eyes roll up and Jack of The Hinterlands takes over, and grabs the microphone*

JTH: I should have been in charge! I would have kicked the bastards' asses!

*OBJ's eyes roll up again and Back of Beyond Jack takes over*

BBJ: I did what I could. I mean, the OOWF has never been so strange. Besides, I had to pretend to be Outback Jack. I'd never done that for so long.

*OBJ's eyes roll up again*

JTH: Right, well, I know what you mean, it's hard to pretend to be him when I take over, but still...

*with a grimace Outback Jack regains control*

OBJ: Right, so I'm not sure which one of us is showing up at the match, but Drink and Destroy will be ready to kick ass.

[BookerShark]

Kai is in a ring, working out with Alexis Darling. Alexis pops a German suplex on Kai. He crashes to the mat and rolls out to grab a water.

LD: C'mon Kai, you're dragging ass today.

Kai: Mind's not in it brah.

LD: Heh, you called me brah.

Kai: What do you want me to call you?

LD: How about you just tell me what's up? Is it Kono?

Before Kai can answer, Alexander Darling walks in.

AD: You've been screwed up since Noelani came back.

Kai: Not fair, brah.

AD: It is fair. We had a good thing going. You had a hot girlfriend and a solid relationship. Then Noelani comes back, and both go to hell.

Kai: Yo, I'm here, brah. We're still good.

AD: Are we? You two were gonna be my island Wolves. You were THE KAI! Now you sat back and watched as Noelani...

Kai throws his water at Alex, but misses.

Kai: If you want us to stay cool, brah? Don't finish that sentence. We gave you our word. We ARE a team. We got your back. But Noelani? She's Ohana brah. Watch yourself.

AD: I'm just looking out for you. She's clearly not.

Kai cracks his knuckles and growls a bit.

AD: You know I'm right.

LD: He is Kai.

Kai grabs his water and heads towards the door.

Kai: You need me? You know where to find me.

LD: I think you need to have a chat with that bitch.

AD: Joy.

[BookerShark]

Random Interviewer stands next to a brute of a man with full beard and a snarl on his face. He appears to be the strong and silent type.

RI: Ladies and gentleman, standing beside me is the man who wishes to be known as CC Scott. I am told that he has something very important he'd like to say about his debut in the OOWF.

CC: Wait, what? No, I don't.

RI: Er..what do you mean, CC?

Random Interviewer winks and nudges Scott as if to say, "what the hell are you doing?"

CC: I mean, I don't have anything to say about my debut. I just want to wrestle somebody.

RI: That's not really how things work around here, man. You gotta talk yourself up in these promos and such.

CC: Well, I certainly didn't sign up for this!

RI: Um....gee this is kind of awkward. See my job is to ask you questions and your job is to answer them. That's what you're here for, man.

CC: If you say so, I'll give it a shot.

RI: CC Scott, what brought you here to the OOWF?

CC: What the hell kind of question is that? I want to wrestle, I thought I made that point pretty clear already.

RI: .......great. Care to elaborate?

CC: I do not.

RI: <sigh> Alrighty then. Care to enlighten everyone as to your wrestling background? How did you get your start in the sport?

CC: To be quite honest, not really. I'd prefer to keep a certain air of mystique shrouded around myself at all times. You know how it is, right?

RI: No. No I do not....I hesitate to ask another question, but do you have any wrestlers you idolized growing up?

CC: Sure, I was a big fan of Lance Storm, Dean Malenko, Brad Armstrong. Those guys really inspired me.

RI: Why is that, might I ask?

CC: Well, I just really loved the way the went out there and wrestled. Nothing fancy, just wrestling. I liked the way the commanded the crowd with their wrestling.

Random Interviewer shakes his head

RI: There you have it folks, the newest member of the OOWF Roster, CC Scott. He's here to wrestle and apparently nothing else.

[BookerShark]

~~~ We see the Texpress Charter pull into the OOWF Arena in Tunis. Chad, Zane & Bridgette climb out and are immediately accosted by yet another Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist ~~~

RNSFJ: Zane Zane Zane, Did you see the comments of Stan Fulton?

Zane: I did.

RNSFJ: ......Aaaaaaaaand?

Zane: Typical whiny bull crap You might be large in stature, but those comments make you a pretty small man. A Real Champion (pats the belt around his waist) doesn't make excuses or blame other people. A Real Champion admits when he's been beaten.

Listen, Fulton. I didn't ask for that match. But in this business, Especially in this company, Things tend to happen that you cannot control. Look at us. Texpress has had a pretty down year. We've had some setbacks, but when did you hear us blame anyone but ourselves? You didn't.

RNSFJ: What about the names he called you?

Zane: You mean "Cowboy Emo"? Yeah, I don't think that's really going to catch on. Emo kids tend to whine and complain alot. Me? I keep things like that to myself. Oh, sure, being in the OOWF means ninjacams give you insight into the inner workings of locker rooms and such, but I have never stood up, done an interview saying "It wasn't fair. I wasn't ready. My shoulder was up too"

Hmmm.. who do we know that just did alot of complaining about a certain Championship match?...... If anyone here is Emo, It's you Stan. "The Big Emo" Stan Fulton. Davin should get some new T-Shirts made.

RNSFJ: So have you decided if Texpress is still a tag team?

~~~ Zane again no-sells the question and walks away, drinking from his Aquafina bottle. Chad slides up to the RNSFJ ~~~

Chad: Hey, so how about you and I grab a bite to eat later on tonight?

RNSFJ: Umm.. I don't know Chad. You.... have a reputation.

Chad: Awww, C'mon now. I'm a nice guy.

RNSFJ: Fulton gave you a nickname too "The One Night Stand" Chad Madison

Chad: (smiling broadly) I'm not that bad. Ask any of the other girls, they all know me.

RNSFJ: That's kind of the point.

Chad: Hmmm..Let me prove it wrong? I know this great little spot where we can just sit and... talk.

RNSFJ: (Clearly thinking) I guess that'd be Ok.

Chad: Great. I'll come get you about.. 8?

RNSFJ: Sure (She skips away)

~~~ Chad turns and sees Bridgette standing there shaking her head in disbelief ~~~

Bridgette: Fulton is dead wrong about Zane. You, on the other hand....

Chad: I know. (Chugs some Aquafina) A'int it great?

[BookerShark]

Fade in to the Tun Arena in Tunis, Tunisia – quite possibly the least creative place in the world, from a naming standpoint – where we find El Lobo Sangriento STANDING~! in the medical wing, TALKING~! to a still-recuperating Justin Sane…

ELS: Well, I’m just glad to see you’re starting to feel better. You promised me you wouldn’t attempt the Doughawk, man. That’s the only reason I gave you those instructions.

JS: You have dogs on your mask.

ELS: Wolves. They’re wolves.

JS: I fought a wolf with my bare hands once. After I beat it, I said “Don’t feel bad, Wolfie. I was wrestling wolves while you were still sucking on your mother’s teat.”

ELS: Did you happen to say that in a Scottish accent?

JS: How did you know? You weren’t the wolf, were you?

ELS: No, but I did see that episode of The Simpsons.

JS: I like peanuts best. Almonds just don’t do it for me, you know?

ELS: Riiight. Look, maybe you should lay down for a bit again. I think you’ve been up long enough.

*As Justin gets back into his hospital bed, Stank enters the room…

Stank: What the hell are you doing here?

ELS: I feel partly responsible for Justin being in this condition, so I thought I’d stop in and see him.

Stank: Partly responsible? You taught him the Doughawk! You’re entirely responsible!

ELS: I beg to differ. I may have taught him the move, but I also made him promise never to use it. You, on the other hand, goaded him and pushed him and worked him up into a lather before unleashing him in my general direction. What the fuck did you think he was going to do, tap me on the shoulder and ask me politely for the DDT Ironman–

JS: Iron Person

ELS –Iron Person Heavy Metal title? This is as much your fault as it is mine, Stank. You know he’ll do anything you say.

Stank …

ELS That’s what I thought. Now, while I’ve got you here, I want to tell you face-to-face that I’m coming for your Onslaught title. I’d suggest you try to take your mind off of Alex and your pursuit of his belt and start focusing on me.

Stank: Don’t you worry about my focus. We both know I can get the job done in the ring against anyone.

ELS: We’ll see about that. I’m going to get out of here before Justin wakes up and realizes I’ve still got this belt. I’m actually concerned about what he might do and how it might affect his recovery.

*Lobo exits the room, and we *FADE*

[BookerShark]

Alexander Darling is trying to get into the door of the Darling Luxury Suites, already in Tunisia, but his way is blocked by Lucky.

L: Hi.

AD: Get out of my way, I need to check on--

L: She's fine.

AD: No, she's not...she's pregnant and got into a fist fight with her asshole brother, complete with headbutt.

L: Well, she's fine now, and ...dealing....

AD: What do you mean? What is she doing?

L: What she always does when she's upset about something. Redirects to something else.

AD: Oh...

L: You know how she can get a little um....obsessive about things?

AD: A little?

L: Well....just.....brace yourself.

Lucky steps aside, and Alexander opens the door. It looks like a library has exploded. There are books, magazines, catalogs, and professional journals scattered around. Fire has her mp3 player on listening to something. She also appears to have earphones taped to her abdomen.

AD: Fire...what is all this?

Fire doesn't respond because duh, she can't hear him.

L: I think she ordered everything she could find on pregnancy and child birth and had it sent here.

AD: Great....*he taps her on the shoulder, and she turns around.*....Hi, remember me? The one you DIDN'T get into a fist fight with today?

FW: *taking her earphones out* Oh, Xan! Hey! Did you know that you can get the entirety of Dr. Spock's writings on audiobook? I downloaded it earlier, and .... wow, fascinating stuff....

AD: Uh huh...what are those? *he points to her abdomen*

FW: Oh, that...Baby Einstein. You want our daughter to be a genius right?

AD: Yes, but,... wait, daughter? How do you know that?

FW: *shrugs* I just do.

AD: 'kay.....

FW: So I was looking at all this advice and it's pretty clear that we have our work cut out for us. Because what I get now is that genetics can be overcome through a warm, nurturing environment...

AD: Can we talk about Moose?

FW: *frowns* He is not a part of the warm, nurturing environment.

AD: No, no he isn't, neither are you if you keep ... you can't get into fights, now, you know that right?

FW: I do, and that's why.....I'm done... Until this baby is born, if he can't....we're just done. We'll see what happens afterward.

AD: Wow...are you sure? I mean he gave you a.....what is that, anyway?

FW: Oh....*frown looks more sad than angry now* ... It's a tamagushi...it's used in Shinto baby blessing ceremonies.

AD: Oh...wow, that was actually...not so terrible of him.

FW: No, it wasn't, and he'll be invited if he can behave himself for the next....however many months, but until then....

AD: Okay, what is the rest of this?

FW: *sudden demeanor change as she gladly moves on to think about something else.* OH, this is RESEARCH, Xan....what kinds of births, how to find a good midwife....which reminds me I have applications over....oh, in this pile over here. I've arranged them in my order of preference, but obviously you get a say, so if you could go through them....

AD: That is an amazingly tall stack.

FW: *without taking a breath* Right, well after THAT we have the Nanny stack, because if we're both going to be wrestling or working, we need some one we trust to watch her, and while I'm sure your sisters would do a great job, they have their own stuff, I mean Sam will have HERS to look after so we can't really expect her to take on two, and besides, some of the books say having a non-family member is good because that teaches the child that other adults are caregivers too, and it doesn't even have to be a woman, but I think I'd be more comfortable with that, but then OTHER research says family WOULD be better, and I got to thinking that, well, my conversations with Rose have gone pretty well, and maybe, I don't know, we could give her a chance and--

AD: FIRE!

FW: ....

AD: BREATHE!

FW: Oh......okay....

AD: Rose Quinn is NOT going to be our nanny. Ever.

FW: But...she's my.....

AD: ...

FW: ...

AD: You can't even say it.

FW: No, but I've been feeling like...I don't know we've been talking, and ... well, maybe she has changed?

AD: I'm not willing to risk it, Fire. Are you?

FW: ...

AD: ...

FW: No...not really....

AD: We have time....just....slow down and.....

Firewoman seems to get distracted AGAIN by some other thought flying through her head, and turns and grabs a stack of books....a very TALL stack of books...and shoves them into Alexander's arms.

AD: What the hell are these?

FW: Baby names.

AD: Lee, we don't need--

FW: Yes we do. It's very important that she have a sense of self about her, especially coming from my gene pool. She should know who she is from the moment she takes her first breath, and that she's important, and all the experts say--

Fire seems to be whipping up to another manic rant, but Alex takes a hand he manages to wrangle free and puts a finger to her lips so she shuts up.

AD: Breathe.......okay...I'll look through these......

FW: Okay...I'm going to go organize the medical journals by topic and year.......or should I order the layette? I was thinking anything but pink and....

Fire goes over to another stack of stuff as her voice trails off a bit. Alexander and Lucky look at each other and sigh.

[BookerShark]

*A delivery person from Unsponsored Package Delivery Company knocks at the door of Davin Moreland's locker room. The person is carrying a BOX~! Davin answers the door*

DPfUPDC: Package for Davin Moreland Inc. LLC.

DM: Cool, it's here.

*He signs the computerized pad thingie and brings the box back into the locker room. Samantha is on her phone as Davin sits next to her with the box and digs through it, apparently checking stuff*

SDM: Ok, awesome, so it's going to be done today?...They're there now?...Cool...and the mural's done already?...That's great. Make sure you take plenty of pictures...Yeah, I can't wait to see it for myself...Oh no, don't worry, I'm good for another month or so...No, I haven't talked to him about that yet...I know...well...No, I'm not hid- ok, yes I am...Well...what if it's not just for me? Would you be willing to do that?...No, I haven't told her either...because it's Not. Easy. for either of them, you know?...Ok, great. No, I'll tell her...yeah, him too, although YOU could do that...I know he'll just say no to you, which is why we should just plan it without him...Ok...great, thanks, Robin. Bye.

DM: Plan what?

SDM: Plan Go Fuck Yourself, that's what.

DM: Nothin' but class, you are.

SDM: What do you have?

DM: Subject change. You've had better, hon.

SDM: What is in the box, fucko?

DM: Are your hor-

SDM: Do NOT finish that sentence.

DM: ...

SDM: What's in the box?

DM: Stuff. I need Moony. MOONY!

*A disheveled Moonbeam eventually comes out from the other room*

DM: Get your mic and grab the banner and meet me out in the hallway. We're gonna do an old- ugh...ew...go brush your teeth first.

SFJ420: *a little embarrassed* oh, uh...*smiles* Yeah man, meet you in the hallway in a second. *she leaves*

DM: Midget!

*Shawn Johnson comes out of the room, fixing her hair*

DM: Playtime's over. It's worky-worky time. I want you to come up with some ideas leading up to my match with Chickenshit. Then I want you to pitch, and successfully pitch them to our fearless leader GM. Got it?

OGMSJ: *sheepishly* You want me to meet with Selena.

DM: Do you know of any other fearless leader GM?

OGMSJ: ...then I should go brush my teeth.

DM: Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Sammy?

SDM: Yeah?

DM: *kisses her on the forehead* Your job is to be awesome. Can you do that?

SDM: *scoffs* Better than you, babe.

DM: Atta girl. MOONY!

SFJ420: *carrying her mic and the banner* Yeah man, I hear you, I like, totally hear you dude. I'm ready or whatever...let's go.

*They head out to the Hallway of Old School Promos, and Davin helps her put the banner up. Davin puts the box just so in front of him, and motions for Moonbeam to begin*

SFJ420: Hello fans. *she yanks a string, and the OOWF Logo appears behind them* I'm here with the only 6-Pack Champion in OOWF History, Davin Moreland. Davin, how are you?

DM: *he's pulled on a new t-shirt, with a 6-Pack of beer on the front, but the labels on the cans say "World, Intercontinental, Onslaught, Tag Team, Trios and DDT". On the back it says "Davin Moreland: Thirsty For Another 6-Pack"* I'm well, thanks Moonbeam. Coming off a tougher than expected match with Psykle, who competed very well in the ring.

*He holds up another t-shirt. This one says "Davin Moreland Put Me Over" on the front, and on the back it says "Psykle" and his requisite stats*

SFJ420: But, you still came out with the win.

DM: That's what I do. One sec.

*He holds up another t-shirt. "Davin Moreland Put Me Over" on the front, and "LD Williams is a Fraud" on the back.*

SFJ420: Finally made that a joint venture?

DM: Made sense to do it.

SFJ420: Now, what about your upcoming series of matches in the Round Robin this week? Against Matt Folz and Chris Evans. First, what do you think of competing in at least 2 matches in one night?

DM: Well, no. First, let's get the names right.

*He holds up another t-shirt. This one has rainbow stripes on it. The front shows Folz and Evans engaged in a man hug. The back says "The Life Partners. Silent and Awful".*

DM: They don't really have names. They shall forever be known as "The Life Partners". Because, let's be honest. The only time you see either one of them is with the other. And when you spend that much time together with another man...well...there can only be one conclusion.

SFJ420: Seems reasonable. Now, the matches?

DM: Well fuck, I've beaten both of them, probably. I know Evans better than he knows himself, he's just another pussy who crumbles under pressure like he did in GFY. And FuckThatGuy did the same thing with...Unforgiven.

Lou: unforgiven

DM: So I imagine I'll win both those matches and get back to my rightful place in this company with that title shot.

SFJ420: Which you'd use against Alexander?

DM: If need be.

*He holds up a t-shirt with Alexander Darling holding up a World Championship Belt. The back says "Who's betta than Alex? Well, Davin. But just him."*

DM: It wouldn't be personal. Only business. He gets it. I know he does.

SFJ420: Before we continue-

DM: Actually there's one other piece of business I'd like to address.

SFJ420: Go ahead, Champ.

DM: To the new guy, uh, CC Sabathia?

*He holds up a t-shirt: "Davin Moreland Put Me Over" on the front, "CC Scott" plus his stats on the back*

DM: The "silent but deadly" type? You know, the "I don't cut promos, I do my talking in the ring" guy? Yeah, there is ONE guy who gets away with that. Ever. And that's LD Williams, one of the greatest to ever lace em up...er...he's a fraud or something...Your influences are Lance Storm, Dean Malenko and Brad Armstrong? Are you sure you're not influenced by Ambien? Are you sure you're not sponsored by Thorazine? A word of advice from one of the best to the new guy:

DM: Silent but Deadly doesn't work here. If you want to be noticed, you've got to develop your personality and let it shine through. Like this guy:

*Davin holds up a t-shirt. It's got a picture of J-P Sparxx with "OOWF's Fastest Rising Star" surrounding up. The back says "Sparky's gon gitcha, knowwhatimsayin'?"*

DM: Some free advice from someone who knows. Good luck, CC. Nice to see you dropped 150 lbs and left the Yankees.

SFJ420: Finally, Davin, there has been a lot of buzz generated about the pre-recorded video you made about Moosehead Jack.

DM: That *I* made? I got that in an email. I just assumed he made it in a moment of clarity.

SFJ420: Uh huh.

DM: I mean, to be fair, it's as honest as he's ever been, and I'm glad he's coming around to what everyone else is thinking. But just because you apologized, doesn't mean I'm going to take it easy on you. Hitting your pregnant sister deserves some retribution. And if her HUSBAND isn't going to do anything about it, then I'm going to have to. Of course...

*He holds up a t-shirt. It's got a cartoon chicken exiting stage right, with a little pile of poop. A cat is next to it, making a face like it smells something. The back says "Moosehead Jack's OOWF Career - 2004-2011" Trust Me.*

SFJ420: So, are you saying Moosehead Jack is a chickenshit pussy?

DM: Well, let's look at the facts. I eviscerate him verbally in front of all his fans that he claims to not have. I challenge his manhood repeatedly and he doesn't answer the challenge. He attacks me from behind like he's BFFs with "The Life Partners" on several occasions. He runs crying to his "Mouse" and begs her to institute a "No-Contact" rule until the PPV. Of course, that's after he attacked me from behind yet AGAIN. He's got no answer for me. He's got no response for me other than "Oh Yeah?" It's pathetic to see how the once mighty have fallen. I expect in our 60-minute match he lasts about 15 before hitting multiple chinlocks before he just quits about 40 minutes in. Knowing his career is irreparably damaged. And BECAUSE he knows all these facts, he beats up his pregnant sister like the Chickenshit Pussy that he is. What a big man, beating up a pregnant lady. That's not evil. That's just fucking pathetic, and the act of a desperate man trying to hang on to the one shred of glory he thinks he has left. He doesn't.

SFJ420: I think that covers everything. Thanks for your time, Davin.

DM: Oh, not yet. You've got a t-shirt too.

*It has a picture of Moonbeam with "Davin's Angel" on the front. The back says "This Bus Stops for Gymnasts" and "Moonbeam O'Callahan"*

SFJ420: Oh. Great, Man.

DM: Don't worry.

*He holds up another t-shirt. Picture of Shawn Johnson with "Davin's Angel" on the front. The back says "This Bus Stops for Burnouts" and "Olympic Gold Medalist, Dancing with the Stars Champion and America's Sweetheart Shawn Johnson"*

SFJ420: *snickers* Ok, that's fair.

DM: I've got one more for now.

*It has a picture of Samantha Darling-Moreland with "Lead Angel, CEO and Team Davin MVP" on the front. "I Put Davin Moreland Over" and "Samantha Darling-Moreland" on the back*

SFJ420: Aww...that's almost cute.

DM: Almost. We're done.

*fade*

[BookerShark]

Outback Jack is seen talking with himself in the corner of the Destroyatorium. Danny Taylor walks over to him with beers in hand. He hands one to OBJ and shoots him a questioning look. Jack takes a huge swig of his beer.

OBJ: (belches) That's Australian for just tying to decide who's driving. No worry mate we'll be ready for the match this week.

Danny points to himself and shrugs.

OBJ: It's no DQ, right up our alley, why are you unsure about it?

Danny makes the motion of swinging a bat and then shakes his head no.

OBJ: That is a common mistake, everyone seems to think that no DQ means using weapons. What it really means, is it's harder to pull off a surprise.

Danny raises an eyebrow, and motions for Jack to elaborate.

OBJ: Look at it this way, usually when one of us falls to one of the BKK it is because they have hit us with an unexpected Brass Knuck's shot or something similar. In a no DQ match, it's legal, so you are expecting it and are harder to surprise. In a match like this what really carries you through is rage and desire. How do you feel about Vic still being laid up.

Danny scowls and clenches his fist.

OBJ: Good, use that. Take the rage and release it on the kings. Eric can be the white knight, we keep saying we aren't the heroes of this story, and we mean it. You, me, Vic, DH, the sheilas, we are just good natured brawlers. Good Food, Good Drink, Good friends, and an occasional fight to get some of the energy out. We aren't heroes like Crete wanted to be, we aren't masterminds like Eco wanted to be. We are simple, and it works for us. So when we face the BKK this week, we will simply fight, and we will simply win.

Danny smiles at this and raises his drink. OBJ raises his and they clink and drink. DH comes over and joins them, his Trios title slung over his shoulder. Danny points at it and smiles.

DH: Yeah Stank convinced Justin to hand it over, now we need to make sure at the PPV we keep it in house.

Both Danny and Jack nod in agreement.

DH: I heard Fire is looking for girl names for the baby, I'm fond of Shannon myself.

OBJ: I've always liked Sheila.

Danny points to himself. Both Jack and DH throw him a confusing look.

DH: She should name her baby Danny?

Danny holds up the sign language symbol for I.

OBJ: Danni makes more sense. (yelling) Hey Spencer.

Spencer: (yelling back) Yeah Jack

OBJ: Send Fire some of Danny's left over pie with a list of possible D&D approved baby names......... and a salmon.

DH and Danny look at Jack in confusion.

OBJ: For the penguin.......or maybe for fire, hell if I know what a preggers sheila would eat.

FADE

[BookerShark]

<we cut to the rooftop of the arena in Tunis, Tunisia. Moose is sitting watching the sunset with a cooler of beer next to him. Stank walks up, and Moose doesn’t say a word, he just reaches into the cooler and hands Stank a cold one. Stank takes a seat and the two sit in silence for a few minutes>

Stank: So, did you see the promo?

MHJ: Yep

S: And?

MHJ: And nothing

S: That’s it?

MHJ: Stank, come on, like I can top that promo brilliance

S: <laughing> well he IS the greatest of all time

MHJ: In his mind, yes he is. Look, he is trying to get a reaction out of me, and I am not going to give him the satisfaction.

S: <mocking Davin> Big bad Moosey is a PUSSY! I am the GREATEST OF ALL TIME! HEAR ME ROAR!

MHJ: Something like that. All that guy does is bury his opponents.

S: You’re preaching to the choir man

MHJ: How the hell did you feud with him so long

S: <taking a moment to think> Two ways, really. One, I realized that Davin is all about self-promotion. He is an attention whore and will do anything……ANYTHING for attention. Two, I was better than him anyway, and I knew that all along

MHJ: That helps. Davin is just trying to get his way. He is a spoiled fucking brat, no different from Alex really. Complain until you get your way. Well, in this case, he ain’t getting his way. I got the match I wanted, at the pay per view. He is going to have to wait until then to get his ass kicked

S: You know if you don’t beat him……

MHJ: Not even an option. I will die before that clown beats me. There is no chance in hell I lose that match. None. Zero. And thanks to Davin’s inability to keep his mouth shut, and his constant need to try and bury me? He is going to look like a fucking idiot when it is all over

<Moose and Stank clank beers and share a laugh over that>

S: You know, if I didn’t hate him so much, I would say Davin would be a damn good politician

MHJ: Probably true. The man can talk out of both sides of his face and twist anything to his advantage. Plus, he is a natural suck up, so it fits. But still, don’t fucking give him ideas.

<Stank laughs and slaps Moose on the shoulder>

S: Good to have you back

MHJ: It was a little harder to come back than I thought it would be

S: Oh?

MHJ: You know, in seven years in the OOWF, that was the first thing resembling time off I ever had? The closest was when Crete broke my arm and I was out of the ring for a few weeks, but I was still around back stage. It felt good just walking away for awhile

S: Yeah, right, “walking away”

MHJ: You too huh?

S: You have to admit, the timing was a little suspicious

MHJ: That was the point. So idiots like Davin and Darling would think it was me

S: So it wasn’t you

MHJ: No it was not.

S: Then who was it?

MHJ: Nice try

S: Aww come on

MHJ: You wouldn’t believe me if I told you

S: Seriously?

MHJ: Seriously

S: Fuuuuuuuck. That is going to gnaw at me now. Come on, who was it?

MHJ: Maybe it was you

S: You’re an asshole

<Moose laughs, and the two share another moment of silence>

MHJ: I want this shit with Davin done, I am going to prove to him I am better, then move on

S: To what?

MHJ: For the first time I really don’t know. I mean, you are Onslaught champion, I will save you the embarrassment of losing that title to me <Moose laughs>

S: Please, like you could beat me in an onslaught rules match

MHJ: Former Onslaught Champion sitting right here

S: How the FUCK did you win this title?

MHJ: I am that….damn….good. But seriously, I don’t know what to do after this, I mean, you are Onslaught champ, Fulton is going to get the Intercontinental title back, and LD is teaming with Tytan. I would like to have another run with kz, but he is committed to making this team with Tytan work.

S: There is always Darling

MHJ: Yeah, beating that weasely motherfucker for the title would be nice. But you know……if it could just be a match, that is one thing, but I hate that smarmy fucking asshole so much, it would go too far. Further than last time

S: So, one of you would die

MHJ: He would die

S: And then Fire……

MHJ: I don’t even want to deal with her right now

S: What you did WAS kind of harsh…….

MHJ: Oh fuck that. The last thing Fire will ever be is some delicate fucking flower that needs a man protecting her. She took a couple of shots upside the head. She lived. If anyone has a problem with it…..

S: Like Alex and Davin

MHJ: ……I am sitting right here, I am not fucking hard to find. Truth be told, I am tired of the drama. Alex got what he wanted from day one. Fire has picked Alex over me. It is what it is. That doesn’t mean one day Alex and I won’t cross paths again, and when we do……

S: I hear ya. If I leave anything left

MHJ: Kick his skull in. I hope you do. If I can’t be the one to do it, it should be you

<Another long silence>

S: Do you get the feeling Alex and Eric are playing us all?

MHJ: Trying to, yeah

S: I thought I was the only one

MHJ: Hell no. I don’t buy Eric’s bullshit for a second, and I wouldn’t believe Alex if he told me the sun was coming up tomorrow. Alex “recommends” a GM and gets it. Alex says he wants the world title, and somehow he finds himself in a bullshit match for it. It’s all too convenient. And Eric always has an angle. I don’t buy for one second that he is just trying to rid the OOWF of Alex, or whatever he says. Buy into that, and you are going to feel like the dumbass when the two of them are shaking hands in the middle of the ring

S: You’re right

MHJ: You know……..we are heels

S: So I have been told

MHJ: I don’t think we are actually supposed to have civilized conversations

S: Aren’t we supposed to be scheming behind one another’s backs trying to screw the other over?

MHJ: I am sure somewhere out there there is someone watching this gnashing his teeth because this is too facey

S: Gnash away.

MHJ: All that matters is this. Sunday, I take out Davin, you retain your title against whoever you face, and soon enough…….the OOWF will be ours again

<Moose and Stank clank bottles again and we fade to black>

[BookerShark]

*Moreland Locker Room*

There's a knock on the door and Sam answers the door to see her brother standing there.

Sam: Hey bro, what brings you by?

Alexander: Couple reasons, first, wanted to check how you were doing?

Sam: Good days and bad, but good for the most part.

Alexander: If you need anything...

Sam: I know. Same with you and Fire.

Alexander: *smiling* Anyway, is your husband around?

Sam: Sure. *yelling*DAVIN, get your ASS out here.

Davin: *walking out*What the fuck Sam...oh, what are you doing here?

Alexander pulls out his iPhone and hits play and shows the previous promo. He says nothing as it plays. When it's finished, he holds out his hand. Davin grumbles but reaches into his pocket and pulls out 5 crisp $1.00 bills.

Alexander: Always a pleasure Davs. See ya round.

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

*Davin sullenly walks back into the locker room where Samantha is likely doing something important*

DM: Dammit.

SDM: What?

DM: That was my stupid lunch money.

SDM: Aw, poor baby.

DM: Thank you for your concern.

SDM: Of course, dear.

DM: Can I borrow $5?

SDM: Sure. After you go and start the laundry.

DM: Are you fucking-

SDM: Yes. I'm fucking serious.

DM: *sigh* Yes dear.

*fade*

[BookerShark]

We cut to Ric's Shoppe....

Ric is laying on the floor still from the Firewoman/Moosehead Jack head butt.

JW: Uh Ric, You okay?

Ric (very calmly): woooo! yup....Just got a concussion. woooo! the concrete is nice and cool......

JW: You need a beer or something?

Ric: Nope! Wooo! that fucking headbutt hurt so bad, that the though of blading made it hurt more. Can you take care of the customers for me?

JW: Sure thing Naitch.....you just chill.

DH Magnsuson walks in and moseys up to the counter, he kinda gives Ric a funny look....

JW: What can i get for ya?

DH: Roast beef and swiss on whole wheat and a Budweiser....

DH (nodding at Ric): Sup with Nature boy?

JW: He's concussed....Moosey and the Commish were brawling, he got caught up in the wash and took a double headbutt.....it hurt him so bad he didn't even blade.

DH: wow that is bad.....So we have a match this week.....

JW: yup....beers on me by the way.....you know i am gonna punch you right in your beer hole

DH: From what Jack has told me about you, i wouldn't expect anything else.....Grassy ass for the beer...... I am doing the drinking part right now.....destroying comes on wednesday.....

JW (smiling): good...looking forward to it bubba....

JW reaches behind the counter: You wanna put this "Wet Floor" sign over him? I don't want anyone to step on him.

JW: mighty kind of ya....

DH: no problem.....

DH Sets up the sign as he walks out....Two seconds later Stan Fulton walks in muttering to himself or his Axe handle....we're not quite sure.

Stan: <stupid fucking emo fucking clown ass Zane Meyers. I hate clowns.>

Stan stops suddenly and staeres at Ric laying on the floor, bends over and yells about six inches from Ric's face: WAKE UP OLD MAN! THIS AINT A FUCKING NURSING HOME WHERE YOU CAN SLEEP WHEREVER YOU WANT!

Ric quickly sticks his thumb in Fulton's eye and says calmy: Shut up fat boy. I have a headache.

Stan's pissed and begins to swing his Axe handle when we hear from off camera: Can I help you?

Stan turns to JW standing behind the counter.....

Stan: You? You cost me my Intercontinental Title! i outta kick your ass right now!!!

JW: Cost you your title? listen pal, i was just coming to ringside to cheer on my fellow Minnesotan! you may be borderline crazy, but you're still a minnesota boy at heart.....Hey I know somebody back home you can talk to about this clown thing, Doc Schwarzburg.....he's a helluva nice guy....helped out my cousin when she was afraid of the lake weeds up at the cabin.

JW (smiling): maybe then you can focus on your title

Stan: Fuck that...I am fine, just give a white bread sandwiche with extra mayo, double roast beef, double ham, swiss, american, pepperjack, and bacon

Ric, calmly from off camera: maybe woooo! you should try a salad fat boy! Wooo!

Stan clenches his jaw.

JW: Any veggies? you know your mom wants you to eat your veggies!

Stan: my mother never made me eat my veggies..

Ric, again calmly from off camera: wooo! I took you mother for a ride on space mountain. wooo!

Stan grabs his axe handle and steps towards Ric.

JW: Fulton! leave him alone.....you should be used to this shit by now!!

Stan is clenching his jaw and looks like a volcano about to erupt.

JW, as he is bagging up Stan's Sammich: Besides, you're gonna need all your energy for Zane so he doesn't beat you again!

With that Stan BLASTS JW with his Axe handle as JW is looking down at the food.

JW Crumples, stand jumps up on the counter and elbow drops JW.

Stan: ZANE WILL NOT BEAT ME!


Stan then gets up, kicks JW and walks out of the shoppe.

Two seconds later, he returns muttering to himself: <fucking JW Westgaard thinking Zane's gonna beat me...I can be his ass, JW's ass...nobody fucks with the crusher>

Stan grabs his GIANT sandwich, turns on his heel and heads for the door, doing a Kevin Sullivan style double stomp on Flair right before he exits.

[BookerShark]

Chad Madison is SITTING outside the arena watching the sunset, drinking his Aquafina.

FW: Easy on that stuff.

CM: Very funny. Look, sit down, it's hot out and--

FW: Chad....

CM: Sorry.

FW: Didn't I see you had a date?

CM: Eh...I might cancel...don't feel up to it.....

FW: What? You?

CM: It happens.

FW: Not that I remember.

The two share a secret laugh.

FW: Look....Zane didn't ask for this. But he's got a be...championship now.

CM: I know, I know...

FW: I don't see how this is different from when the tables were turned. They're both situations outside of your control. The difference is your together now, and now you can train together without the pressure of a tag team run, so--

CM: Lis....can we please change the subject?

FW: *sighing* Fine....what.

CM: ...

FW: ...

Suddenly, Chad has an idea.

CM: Oh!! It's brilliant!!

FW: Uh...what...you're kinda scaring me.

CM: You know what you're going to need....

FW: No....

CM: BABY SHOWER!!

FW: Wait...Chad....

CM: No, seriously! WHO threw you the BEST bachelorette party in the world?

FW: I feel we need to just take a step back and review....how did that turn out, exactly?

CM: It was AWESOME!!

FW: Yes...and I got plastered and then publicly humiliated when I couldn't marry who I was supposed to...

CM: I dunno...I think you kinda did marry who you were supposed to....

FW: Well....yeah.....

CM: So, you're welcome.

FW: Heh...

CM: Besides, there's not going to be any alcohol to worry about. So it's not like you can get drunk and have the wrong baby.

FW: True...look, I'll talk to Alex about it. Just...think about what I said. Don't be mad at Zane. And go on your date. It'll do you good.

CM: Yeah, I suppose I will.

Chad pulls out his cell phone and starts to dial. Fire smiles, pats him on the shoulder and walks away.

[BookerShark]

Davin Moreland is seen holding a punching bag. As the camera moves, we see J-P Sparxx punching it.

DM: What are ya gonna do?

J-PS: I'm gon' beat his ass!

DM: Who's ass?

J-PS: Creepy McFux-alot

Davin stops holding the bag.

J-PS: C'mon Davs. Whats up?!

DM: You insinuated Ketsueki Seishin gets laid.

J-PS: Hm, guess yo right, Davs. Aldoe he does got dat Wednesday Addams wannabe hangin' 'round 'im.

DM: Wednesday Addams was cooler.

J-PS: True dat. She grew up nice too, knowwhatI'msayin'?

DM: Think she sleeps with the bird?

J-PS: That'd prolly hurt, knowwhatI'msayin'?

DM: I meant actual sleep.

J-PS: I didn't, yo.

Davin and J-P complete a complicated handshake. They're boys.

DM: Do your closing bit for the promo.

J-PS: A'ight.

J-P looks to the camera.

J-PS: Ketsueki Seishin, you stoopid ass masked spooky clwon wannabe suckfest, you bring Moosehead Jack, the man born with antlers up his ass, to that ring! You bring your creepy li'l Addams Family reject and her diseased bird with you. I gots ma boy in ma corner. But I don't need any help. You an' me, one on one, you can't TOUCH me son. See, I knows you afraid of the Spark. The Spark's gon' git'cha. The Spark shoulda got yo punk ass already, but you always came from behind. You had yo friends doin' yo dirty work. Well it ends here, son. I put yo ass away for good. I'ma take that ugly ass mask off ya an' show you even uglier grill to the world, knowwhatI'msayin'? Then you gonna go runnin' home to Japan cryin' ta mama, an' dat's if you ain't already ate 'er ya creepy ass fuck. I'll see yo punk ass real soon. An' we gon' end dis. KnowwhatI'msayin'? Bitch?

Davin pats J-P on the back.

DM: back to the bag.

J-PS: Let's do dis yo!

[BookerShark]

*Tunisian Bar*

It's a quiet night at the hotel bar where the OOWF staff is staying. A quick pan around the bar shows only 1 wrestler in the bar at the moment and that wrestler is the current OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Alexander Darling. After a few moments he takes another look at his watch and you can tell he gets even more frustrated as he takes a deep sigh. He checks his phone for any missed messages but he has none. Finally, someone slides into the booth across from Alex. The camera pans around and we see that it's Noelani.

Alexander: You couldn't have been here on time?

Noelani: You're lucky I even decided to show up Alex. What do you want?

Alexander: What is your problem?

Noelani: Dealing with what you did is enough of a waste of my time, but now you want to actually wast more of my time by requesting my presence in dives like this.

Alexander: What the hell happened to you?

Noelani: Nothing "happened" Alexander. This is who I am and this is who my Night Marchers need me to be. If you don't like it, I don't really give two shits. I have one goal and one goal only and that's to make the world see my boys for what they can be, not what they have been.

Alexander: By any means necessary, right? Fuck the collateral damage?

Noelani: Exactly. In fact, the more collateral damage, the better. They've played the good guys, they've played the tweeners. None of it has worked, the Kings and whoever else have always gotten the better of Kai and Aina when it comes to the tag titles. Not anymore. Not under my watch.

Alexander: And you think this possessed by the spirit of Pele or whatever you have them believing in now will lead them to the promised land and tag team glory?

Noelani: It will.

Alexander: Are you fucking blind? You're not stuck in a war of violence with Tytan and LD and take it from me since I have experience with one and I know what the other is capable of...fighting this war with them will leave your boys easy picking's for whoever is champ when you're done with it.

Noelani: Alexander, they're not your lapdogs and I will not allow...

Alexander: I've never wanted fucking lapdogs and I have never ever referred to them in that manner whatsoever. Whether or not you want to believe it or accept it, Kai and Aina and I have become friends in spite of our history. And no matter what you try to pull with them, I don't turn my back on my friendships.

Noelani: No, you wait for them to turn their back and stab them in it. Poe has a lot to say.

Alexander: Yes, he probably does have a lot to say. And he has a right to say almost all of it, but the fact is when that happened, Poe wasn't a friend. He was a teacher and mentor. We used each other at the time and deep down, he'll admit we both made mistakes. I've stepped up and faced my mistakes and privately, so has he. So do not dare bring him into it. This is between me and you Noelani.

Noelani: No it isn't Alexander. It's between me and my Night Marchers. You are just a thorn and an annoyance to us right now. So I'd prefer it if you kept your nose out of our business before I decide that maybe your business should be Night Marchers business.

Alexander: Is that a threat?

Noelani: Take it however you want. I think it's pretty clear. Now, I have more important business, and by that I mean, I have to wash my hair.

Alexander: If that's how you want things Noelani, then that's how you will have things. But remember this Noelani...someone hurts someone I consider a friend, and my vengeance will be nothing compared to your little threats. Cause remember, I am Alexander Darling, and you, well, you're just not.

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

Mai walks up to the Darling Luxury Suites, shuffling in a shy manner. Lucky is standing by the door.

Mai: Hi! Is, um, is Fire in?

Lucky: I'm not really in the business of letting Muyo's in to see Fire.

Mai: Oh...I understand that.

Mai thinks for a second, then looks up with HUGE ANIME EYES.

Mai: PLEEEEEEEASE?

Lucky: That is horrifying.

Fire: (voice) Lucky, let her in.

Mai: Yay!

Mai skips past Lucky and sits down on a bench by Firewoman, immediately rifling through application files.]

Fire: Don't touch those!

Mai: Sorry! I was just interested. You know, I never thanked you and Alex properly...you did so much for me, setting up the contract, the travel, letting me handle things with my brother in the end...

Fire: Uh-huh. Listen, I've got so much on my mind right now...Baby Einstein and baby showers and organizing those FILES THAT YOU ARE MESSING UP--

Mai: Ohmigoodness! You've color-coded those with second references in red! Fire, I could just...

Mai jumps up and hugs Firewoman, who immediately tenses.

Fire: Mai, you have five seconds to let go of me.

Mai: Great! I'll use all five. Five...four...

Fire: YOU NO LONGER HAVE FIVE SECONDS.

Mai lets go, looking at Fire, blinking.

Mai: Sorry, I guess. Listen, I was wondering...is it too late for me to put forward a nanny application?

Fire: ...Mai, you're a wrestler. The problem is that we're all wrestlers, and we need someone outside the business--

Mai: ...but I mean, I'm just filling in for Juni, and I know I'd be great, and I could alternate! I mean, how much wrestling am I even doing this week?

Fire: You have Chad Madison, El Lobo Sangriento, and Psykle in some order in a gauntlet match.

Mai: Huh. Well, Lobo's kind of cute.

Fire: He wears a mask.

Mai: Right. (Pause) More men should around here. Like Psykle.

Fire: Can't argue here.

Mai: Yeah...you know, I just don't really like Chad.

Fire: How come? You seem like you'd be...(looks Mai up and down)...well, I suppose his type is broad...

Mai: He just...and I don't mean to be so blunt...he strikes me as a man of loose morals.

Fire: Eh, he's a pretty good guy when you get to know him.

Mai: I'm not talking about...um...er...

Fire: What? Spit it out.

Mai: I HEARD HE FORNICATES A LOT.

Pause.

Fire: Um...

Mai: I'm sorry! I know, it's gossip, and I shouldn't say it, and you two had a thing once, but I just think it's wrong, and...you know what? (Mai stands up) If I care about Chad, and his soul, I should go say it to him! That's what you'd do, right? Because you're a strong woman!

Fire: Mai, I don't think...you'll interrupt his date...

Mai: A DATE! Oh no, she doesn't even know! Thanks, Fire! I'll be right on it.

Mai Muyo speeds off as Firewoman shakes her head.

FADE

[BookerShark]

**SFJ#47 is interviewing Regicide.**

SFJ#47: “Gentlemen, this week you are facing the Night Marchers -”

Tytan: “In singles matches.”

SFJ#47: “Well, yes - I was getting to that.”

L.D. Williams: “But that’s the most important point, isn’t it? We’re facing them in singles matches.”

T: “See, with the Flyin Hawai’ians, or the Night Marchers, or whatever they're calling themselves this week, the sum is greater than the parts. They are good wrestlers, but a great team.”

LDW: “Regicide is kind of the opposite. We are a good team, and getting better with every match. As individuals, however, our records speak for ourselves.”

T: “More titles and more victories than any two wrestlers in this company.“

LDW: “The truth is, Kai and Aina, in a tag team match against us, your odds wouldn’t be good, but at least you’d have them. Facing us individually, you don’t stand a chance.”

T: Sleep well, Night Marchers, for tomorrow you die.”

<fade>

[BookerShark]

Cut to the Brass Knuckle Kings leaving a workout, a conversation already in progress.

Matt Folz: I'm just saying it's bullshit. You went toe to toe with him for 60 minutes, were about 5 seconds from winning the match, and this week that bitch of a General Manager doesn't give you a rematch.

Eric O Mac: It's alright Matthew, I'll get another shot in due time. Right now we all need to concentrate on our matches this week.

MF: When I become World Champion, you and Bryce get the first shots, you have my word on that.

Chris Evans: Excuse me? When YOU become World Champion? You wouldn't happen to be overlooking me would you pal?

MF: Not at all, even way before we were partners, I've said how many times that you're one of the very best not just in this company but this industry. But I will point out that I don't think you've ever beaten me one on one.

Bryce Larson: You're both overlooking Davin Moreland, he is the best of all time, you know.

All 4 men start laughing hysterically.

MF: That last promo was something wasn't it? Gay jokes, the last refuge of a desperate, scared man.

CE: To be fair, if I were him, and thankfully I'm not, and I was retarded and knew I was going to get humiliated twice in one night, I'd try to talk tough as well.

BL: In his own words.... Fuck that guy.

MF: Couldn't have said it better myself.

EOM: What have you decided about your trios match?

MF: I don't want to speak for you two, but my suggestion is why complicate things? We're wrestlers, they're brawlers...damn good and tough brawlers, yes, but not in our class in terms of in ring skill. We should just make it Onslaught rules.

CE: Hmm, we'll think about it. In the mean time, you'd better rest up buddy, hate for you to have any excuses when I beat you tomorrow.

MF (Smirks): We'll see, see you tomorrow old friend.

Fade