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Post by BookerShark on Jun 30, 2011 0:54:15 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From the National Guard Armory in Washington DC
Non-Title Match[/u] Alexander Darling vs. Stan Fulton
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u] Brass Knuckle Kings vs. Regicide
OOWF Onslaught Championship Triple Threat Match[/u] El Lobo Sangriento vs. Psykle vs. JP Sparxx
Night Marchers vs. Drink & Destroy Davin Moreland vs. Matt Folz Stank vs. Chris Evans Firewoman vs. JW Westgaard DH Magnusson vs. CC Scott Moosehead Jack vs. Mai Muyo Texpress vs. TBA
Card subject to filibuster
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Post by BookerShark on Jun 30, 2011 0:54:45 GMT -5
*Outside the Darling Locker Room*
Firewoman and Lucky are walking down the hallway and getting closer to the locker room when they hear loud crashes from within the room. Thinking someone is attacking Alex, Fire busts through the door and has to duck a thrown vase.
Firewoman: Whoa, what the hell?
Fire finally notices that Alex is "pulling a Fire" and completely trashing the locker room. He's tossing tables around the room, kicking the sofa over, throwing the cushions around the room. Alexis is standing back and taking deep breaths as she runs her hand through her hair. Fire avoids the chaos and makes her way over to Lexie.
What's this all about?
Lexie: I'm not exactly sure. All he keeps rambling about is he's not legit. He can't win when it matters.
Firewoman: But he did win.
Lexie: I tried mentioning that and he just stared daggers at me so I figured I'd let him get this Firetrum...um, I mean temper tantrum out of his system.
Firewoman: Did you seriously just call it a Firetrum...
Lexie: Well, I mean...you do seem to do it a lot.
Firewoman: Whatevs, maybe I should...
Lexie: DUCK!
Lexie pulls Fire down as one of Opus dead fish flies over their head. Opus finally waddles over and starts gnawing on the dead fish and flapping his wings in enthusiasm.
Opus: *waddle*Someone finally remembered me. *waddle*
Alexander: Stupid fucking Stank. Stupid fucking Folz. Getting in my way. I could have had him. Then I wouldn't have to hear his fat fucking mouth. I'm not legit. I'm scared. Fucking bullshit. Ducking him...bullshit. FUCKING BULLSHIT. Anytime you fat fuck. Think I can't beat you. I've beaten everyone. I'll beat you. Only you can make my legacy. Fucking bullshit. Stupid Stank. Fuck.
Alexander finally seems to lose energy after his match tonight and now this destruction of the locker room and he collapses against the upturned sofa. He takes a deep breath and slowly opens his eye as he looks up the ceiling.
Three time world champ and I still have people doubt me. I've fought with everything I have against everyone ever put in front of me. Lucas, anytime, anywhere you want...we'll finish this and you'll finally have to say I am the better man now. This isn't over, you're right about that...but I will be the one to finish it, not you.
*Fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Jun 30, 2011 1:48:44 GMT -5
~~~ Cut to the Enterprise Rent-A-Car Counter at Dulles International Airport ~~~
Zane: Are you sure about this?
Bridgette: Yes Honey. I told you. I'm driving to San Anotnio, taking a day or two to rest and hit the spa, and then I'll drive the Mustang back here. I'll be back before Wednesday.
Zane: Still, I don't like you driving that far alone.
Bridgette: It isn't the first time I've done it this year. I'll be fine. I have cell phones, my AAA card and your American Express Black Card. I'm fine.
Zane: Maybe I should go with you.
Bridgette: You have a match to prepare for
Zane: More curtain-jerking against preliminary bums
Bridgette: .... And you and Chad need to get on the same page again. Work out together. Get into a rhythm. And we're back on friendly soil. Go out, have a couple great dinners together, really re-connect.
Zane: If he's not chasing skirts every night.
Bridgette: (Smiling) He's going to do that too, but I'm sure if you initiate the conversation, he'll go right along with it.
Zane: You're right. You always are.
~~~ The Following Promo was edited by OOWF-TV for excessive PDA ~~~
~~~ Bridgette pulls herself away from Zane and heads down the walkway to her rental SUV. Zane stands there waving until she is out of sight and we fade.......
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 2, 2011 15:24:48 GMT -5
CUT to the National Car Rental parking lot at Dulles International. Just pulling out his Emerald Club card and selecting whatever vehicle he wants is The Crusher Stan Fulton.
He selects a 2011 Kia Sedona, gets in and pulls out his Apple iPhone4 from AT&T. Guess now that we're back in America, we can pull out all the stops, sponsor-wise...
SF: "Martha. How are you?"
". . ."
"Good; how's your dad."
". . ."
"Well I guess that's the most we can hope for right now. You holding up okay?"
". . ."
"Yeah, D.C."
". . ."
"No, I can't believe it either. Trashed the whole room, just like Fire does. Hope this means he's taking our match this week for granted."
". . ."
"He's the World Champion. I'm the Intercontinental Champion. Should be one hell of a match."
". . ."
"Of course I can beat him. I'm not the green rookie anymore. Four-time Onslaught and two-time IC."
". . ."
"Yeah, and five-time DDT Ironman Heavy Metal Champion, too. I know, Martha. Just don't take that title as seriously as, say, Justin does."
". . ."
"No, haven't seen him. Last I heard he got on a plane with Selena and Chuckles. Fucking clown."
". . ."
"It's gotten worse. Having that face-painted retard wandering around backstage is making me jumpy and irritable."
". . ."
"OK, more irritable."
". . ."
"I think I'll head to the hotel after I get something to eat."
". . ."
"No, I won't be going to McDonald's, smartass. Or Jack-in-the-Box."
". . ."
"That sounds like a good idea. I'm sure the paper will be happy to have you back for a while. Might as well stay busy while you're there."
". . ."
"He's on the card. Apparently the injuries that put him in the hospital were only bad enough for a week off."
Kayfabe tries to get to Fulton, but she's stuck over in the Alamo Rent-a-Car lot and can't get across. Too bad.
"As far as I know, we're just buddies. No stable, no team. An occasional match where we're all on the same side, but that's it. I hate being unprepared."
". . ."
"Oh, I'll be prepared for Mr. Darling. I wonder if he'll be prepared for me. If so, match of the year candidate. If not, quick squash for me and it cements my demands for a World Title match. Even if I lose, I'm going to give them something to talk about."
". . ."
"OK, Martha. Take care okay and give my best to your dad. I'll see you when I see you."
". . ."
"Bye."
Fulton disconnects the call and sets his Maps app to plot a route between Dulles and the OOWF hotel, with a stop at Five Guys Burgers and Fries in between.
SF: "Enjoy the grease, Stan."
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 2, 2011 15:25:59 GMT -5
Firewoman is SITTING at Dulles International Airport at a Starbucks, enjoying a venti cinnamon dolce latte, a look of pure ecstasy on her face. Chad Madison sits down.
CM: Damn.....you are practically orgasmic enjoying the coffee.
FW: It's been entirely too long. Have a seat.
Chad sits down with his Aquafina, chair turned around backward, tips up his cowboy hat.
CM: So...lotsa stuff going down in Fireland, huh?
FW: Always is. Or was....hoping I've minimized that now. And, I was busy dealing with some business issues, so I missed your match. I saw you won?
CM: Yeah....I guess....we're still not clicking...
FW: You will though. You guys are like... I dunno....Oreos and milk. You're better together.
CM: Oreos and milk?
FW: What?
CM: Are you sure you're not pregnant?
FW: *frowns slightly* Pretty damn sure.
CM: Okay, well, good.
FW: Good?
CM: Yes, then I don't have to feel guilty about this.
FW: Um....what?
CM: Telling you that you absolutely SUCKED in the ring last show.
FW: HEY!
CM: PLEASE do not tell me you were satisfied with your performance. Hell, even drugged and mind controlled you could have wrestled circles around that freak. How long since you did any training?
FW: Well, suspended, then pregnant, but really just concussed....so....
CM: Yes, when you found out you were cleared did you get back into it?
FW: ....
CM: No, you didn't, you sat in your locker room and moped.
FW: *getting a little teary* That's not exactly fair, Chad.
CM: No, it isn't. It also isn't Firewoman. The Firewoman I know doesn't let that sh...stuff get in the way of doing what she loves to do. The Firewoman I know takes all that negative stuff, bundles it all up, and takes it out on whatever poor sap is in the ring that night.
FW: He's like seven feet tall.
CM: So what? You do what you do, and you at least make him pay for winning, if that's what happens. You make him bruised and bloodied and thinking twice about ever calling you a weak, little girl again. Because all you did in that ring was prove him right.
Fire glares at him in anger.
CM: You didn't even trash your locker room!
FW: Well.....Alex had already kind of--
CM: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT ALEX ALREADY DID!
FW: ...
CM: ...
FW: Really? The Rock?
CM: You need to start watching tape. You need to get back to your training, and lifting, and yoga, and all those other weird things you would do to prepare. You need to take all of that pain, and anger, and everything else and aim it right at the next person you got. Or just go live with Davin's mom and learn to knit or something.
FW: ....
CM: ....
FW: You can be a real asshole sometimes.
CM: Yes, ma'am.
FW: Fine. On one condition.
CM: *breaks out his best Texas drawl and aw' shucks smile* Anything for you ma'am.
FW: Uh huh. First, don't say that, unless you're going to back it up. Second, you and Zane get back on the same page, or else I'll get Dr. Freedman back here and send you two to couples' therapy.
CM: You can't do that.
FW: *points to herself* Commissioner.
CM: You wouldn't.
FW: Ya think?
CM: ....
FW: ....
CM: Fine...it's a deal. Shake?
FW: Better not...Alex gets twitchy if we touch.
CM: Got it....so...................who ya got next week.
Fire grabs the runsheet out of her pocket and hands it to him.
CM: JW Westgaard? Wow...you're definitely going to want to watch some tape.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 2, 2011 15:29:07 GMT -5
JW Westgaard walks up to Chad and Fire.....
JW: You won't need to watch any tape.
FW: Excuse me?
CM:...why wouldn't she want to?
JW: Because I won't do shit.......whatever ass whooping you give me just standing there, will pale in comparison to what Mama Westgaard will do to me if i put my hands on a woman.
FW looks at JW, Extremely puzzled
JW: I am 100% serious. If I so much as lay a finger on you, my Mother will be on a plane to where ever I am, and then my friends....I am FUCKED.
FW: well i have no earthly idea what to say......
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 2, 2011 15:30:00 GMT -5
*National Rehabilitation Hospital. Actually, the main lobby, where Davin Moreland is being pushed in a wheelchair by an orderly (as is hospital policy). The Angels are following right behind. As they get out the door, Davin stands up and shakes the orderly's hand while Samantha is signing something on a clipboard from someone else. A doctor, who is also there, starts talking.*
D: You know you're not ready to leave yet, right? You should really be here another month or so.
DM: I can't. Got a match this week.
D: That's the dumbest response I've ever heard.
DM: Ok, how about "fuck this rinky-dink hospital, if I'm going to be stuck in a hospital in the US - it's going to be where the actual good ones are."
D: Oh. So Boston?
DM: Yeah.
SDM: We have them on speed dial, Doc.
D: Take care of yourself.
*All the medical personnel go back inside*
OGMSJ: So now what? Are we gonna fly home or something?
DM: Fuck that. This is Northwest DC. We're gonna go eat something. Then we're gonna go drink something. Then we're gonna check out the arena.
SFJ420: 50 arenas in the greater DC area, and they pick the National Guard Armory.
OGMSJ: Well, there IS cool stuff to do here...
*Samantha and Moony kind of look at her. Davin smiles*
OGMSJ: Duh. America's Sweetheart?
*Suddenly, a pack of 6 or so Tween Girls start "squee"ing and head over to Shawn with pens and paper*
TG1: OMIGODAREYOUSHAWNJOHNSON??!?!
OGMSJ: *flips the PR switch in her ear* Yes I am, what's your name?
TGs: SQUEEEEEEEE
TG1: K...K...Kristin?
OGMSJ: Nice to meet you. What are you all doing at the hospital, anyway?
TG2: Our friend Amanda broke her ankle on a vault.
TG3: It's not broken!
TG4: It could be!
OGMSJ: Wait, you guys are gymnasts?
*They all shake their heads yes with giant smiles on their faces*
OGMSJ: Is Amanda upstairs?
*They all shake their heads again. Shawn puts a finger up and motions for Davin to lean over so she can whisper*
OGMSJ: So, I'm gonna go cheer up this kid now.
DM: All those kids.
OGMSJ: I mean, yeah I want to go out with you guys...but...America's Sweetheart.
DM: Yeah. And they're aspiring America's Sweethearts themselves.
OGMSJ: So this is gonna take a minute...
DM: You know where Guapo's is, right?
OGMSJ: Oh sure, Wisconsin Ave. Like 3 Metro Stops.
DM: Really? A big star like you? Taking the Metro?
OGMSJ: Well, being a midget means you can blend in with the other Metro riders pretty easily. Whereas even if you were an absolute nobody, people would remember seeing YOU there.
DM: Hmm. That's an idea.
OGMSJ: Do me a favor? I think my new best friends over here want to say hi to you.
*They're all looking over at the 2 of them whispering, snapping pictures*
DM: *limps over to Samantha* I'll need a couple minutes.
SDM: Remember, no means no.
DM: *kisses her on the forehead* I know that. Not so sure THEY know that.
SDM: I'm pretty sure you can fight them off.
DM: I'm injured.
SDM: Good. And if you don't want to end up permanently injured...
DM: It's so fun to fuck with you.
SDM: I'm glad you think so. Do you have any car services in DC on your phone?
DM: Probably. *he tosses it to her. Davin heads to the throng on Tweens who stare up at Davin in silence. Well, except for 2 of them, who look like they're gonna squee any second*
OGMSJ: You know who this is?
TG5: OMIGODITSDAVINMORELAND!
*SQUEEEEEEEEE*
DM: Ladies.
*SQUEEEEEEEEEE*
OGMSJ: So Davin, these girls have this friend...
DM: Oh, you mean Amanda?
*We hear one of the phones go SQUEEEEEEE. I guess that's her*
OGMSJ: She messed up her ankle pretty bad on a vault.
DM: Ah. I know what that's like. *He pulls up his pantsleg and shows the wrapping on his ankle*
TG: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh
DM: Although it wasn't from anything as tough as a vault. That shit's crazy.
*tittering because he used a bad word*
OGMSJ: So we had an idea.
DM: It was her idea.
OGMSJ: I had an idea. Let's go see...
DM: Amanda. Cheer her up for a bit. Do you think she'd like that?
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*Davin uses Shawn for support as they head back inside behind the throng of Tween Girls*
SDM: He always did have a way with women.
SFJ420: Heh. Actually, my guess is that Shawn asked him to come with her so he can remember names for her.
SDM: Aren't you supposed to be in character?
SFJ420: Oh shit, probably. Uh, man. Actually, let's like, get me back into my character dude or whatever, man?
SDM: Me watching you get drunk. Sounds fun.
SFJ420: Oh come on, man...if we're there like, long enough or whatever, dude...I might end up like hitting on multiple rich dudes from Northwest DC.
SDM: Yeah, cause you hit on rich dudes.
SFJ420: It could happen.
SDM: Yeah, cause you hit on dudes.
SFJ420: Let's go.
SDM: Haven't found a car service yet, hold on.
SFJ420: Fuck that, Davinette. We're walkin'. It's like, nice out in nature or whatever.
SDM: I'm not walking. Not far. Not in these.
SFJ420: Cool, it's decided. THE METRO!
SDM: Are you serious?
SFJ420: Dude, it was only like the most advanced subway system in the world when it opened.
SDM: That was 1976.
SFJ420: LET'S GOOOOOOO~!
*Moony literally takes Samantha by the hand as they head to the nearest Metro stop*
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 2, 2011 15:30:34 GMT -5
<Moose is backstage at the DC Armory resting. He is at least no longer in a wheel chair, but he is still getting around slowly. There is a knock on the door, Moose grabs HDB and yells for them to come in. Aisha and Ket walk in and Moose grins. Ket bows to Moose, Moose bows back.>
Aisha: Good to see you are doing better
MHJ: I am not going to give that asshole Davin the satisfaction of thinking he broke me.
Aisha: I didn't think you would. We are just stopping by to say goodbye
MHJ: Goodbye? Where are you going? The fun is just beginning!
Aisha: <grinning wickedly> The fun is always going on, you just have to know where to look. We are going back to Japan for a bit, Ket has some festering issues to take care of there.
MHJ: When are you guys coming back?
Aisha: <grinning wickedly> When they least expect it. Take care Moose
MHJ: I'll see you when we are in Japan in August
<Moose bows to Ket, who returns the favor again, and the two of them walk out of the locker room as we fade to black>
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 2, 2011 15:31:05 GMT -5
**After Chad and Westguaard leave, L.D. Williams sits down across from Firewoman, placing a fresh coffee in front of her.**
F: “Thanks, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
LDW: “Hello to you too.”
**Fire smiles and shakes her head.**
F: “Sorry, but I know you. You don’t do idle chit-chat. You’re here to talk about Moose.”
LDW: “I am.”
F: “Ergo, I don’t want to talk about it.”
LDW: “Fire, how often do I give you advice?”
**Fire thinks for a moment.**
F: “Almost never.”
LDW: “So maybe when I do, it’s worth hearing me out.”
**Fire sips her coffee and leans back in her chair.”
F: “Fine. Let’s have it.”
LDW: “You’ve met my brother.”
F: “Of course.”
LDW: “Donnie and I were raised in different worlds. Kind of like you and Moose. In fact, yours were more alike in that they both sucked. We didn’t even have that. When we were kids, Donnie and I didn’t hang out any more than we had too. Even when we both worked here, we hardly spoke.”
F: “I didn’t think you guys had a problem with each other.”
LDW: “That’s just it, we never did. We just had no frame of reference for a conversation. Different politics, different interests, different tastes in friends. We’d didn’t even think the same way. We’d spend two minutes talking about family, another three complaining about work, and then it would be one uncomfortable silence after another. We could never find any common ground, so it was easier just to not run into each other.”
F: “So Jack and I should avoid each other?”
LDW: “Not done. Eventually Donnie and I realized that none of it mattered. The fact that he can’t stand some of my friends and I hate his politics is irrelevant. Not having the same opinion didn’t make us any less family. Once we accepted that we were never going have much in common, we let it go. Now we talk on the phone once-a-week or so, and we get together whenever we’re in the same town. Say what you want about my brother, but dude knows his theatre, and he can get tickets to anything.”
F: “So you think Jack and I need resolve this.”
F: “You and Jack need to stop worrying about resolving it. Forget about being on the same page, and whose fault it is if you’re not. It doesn’t always have to be the Quinns against the world. Accept the fact that he doesn’t share your opinion of Alex and you don’t share his of Moreland and move on.”
**L.D. gets up and turns to walk away.**
F: “Why tell me this?”
LDW: “Donnie and I didn’t sort it out until after he left the OOWF - we never got the chance to work together…the Sidewinders would have been awesome. Besides, it seems like you‘re getting some things straight for yourself . Keep doing it - don’t let Jack‘s reactions scare you off the path you‘re on. ”
F: “Thanks, but I mean, why are you telling me? Why not have this conversation with Moose?”
LDW: “I did. Months ago.”
F: “It didn’t take.”
LDW: “Yes it did - you’re not a widow.”
<fade>
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 2, 2011 15:33:15 GMT -5
As Davin Moreland works his way through the crowd of tweens, he's grabbed from behind. Davin turns ready to fight, until he sees his boy, J-P Sparxx.
DM: J-P! Easy man, I nearly floored you.
J-PS: Sorry, playa.
DM: What are you doing here?
J-PS: Had to see li'l Shawnie do 'er thang, knowwhatI'msayin'?
DM: you should be getting ready for your match. You don;t get may second chances at the Onslaught Championship.
J-PS: Won it be'fo, gon' win it again.
DM: You just tapped to El Lobo...
J-PS: Sho did, Davs. Shit happens. He gots me. But I'm da best 'ere and the Spark's gon' git his belt back, knowwhatI'msayin'?
DM: Don't get cocky.
J-PS: I don't get cocked. Ma girl does, ya feel me?
DM: There are kids here, J-P! Quiet with that!
J-PS: My bad. Had sum bud earlier.
DM: Shouldn't admit that in DC with cameras around.
J-PS: Oh, uh, I meant BUds. Da beer. Yeah.
DM: No one likes that shit.
J-PS: Work wit me, Davs.
DM: Go get ready!
J-PS: Fine, fine. I'll go prep an' shit. Have fun with the tweenies.
DM: We'll be by later. Have your "Buds" for Moonie.
J-PS: Where ya think I got 'em, homie?
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 2, 2011 15:33:47 GMT -5
Moosehead Jack is getting settled in his room. Slowly. Suddenly the door opens, causing him to turn faster than he should with a grimace.
GMSa-T: Moosie!
MHJ: Mouse. Always a pleasure.
GMSa-T: You don't look like you're having any pleasure right now. Unless that's your O Face. Omigosh, ew, don't answer that.
MHJ: You're rambling more than usual Mouse.
GMSa-T: I don't ramble! Much. Shut up.
MHJ: So what do I owe the visit to?
GMSa-T: I figured I'd let you hear what I'm about to do.
MHJ: Am I going to like it?
GMSa-T: I'm not sure you like anything dude.
MHJ: Hm. Touche. So what is it?
GMSa-T: Your match with davin? Where you two nearly killed each other? AGAIN!
MHJ: I should have finished him. I regret that. He still breathes.
GMSa-T: Blah blah, just stop already.
MHJ: Mouse, I will fin...
GMSa-T: You will do nothing and like it!
Selena gets close to Moose, as if challenging him almost.
GMSa-T: You will heal. You will get back to what you were before all this. You will be the OOWF's biggest heel, and one of it's biggest draws. Just like Davin, who's perhaps the OOWF's biggest face, and also one of it's biggest draws.
MHJ: You will not deny me my...
GMSa-T: I will. I can't have two of the biggest draws in traction, dude!
MHJ: Mouse, when we were the Five, we would have nev...
GMSa-T: The Five died in that airport and you know that. I am not your Mouse anymore. I am Selena al-Takriti. I am Poe's wife. And I am the General Manager of the OOWF, which makes me your boss. I don't wanna pull rank, but someone hasta save you from yourself.
MHJ: That the way you want it, Selena?
GMSa-T: No. I like being Mouse. But I have a job to do and I'm doing it. You have a job too. You should start doing it.
Selena turns and walks out the door. Moose grabs a glass and throws it into a wall.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 2, 2011 15:34:31 GMT -5
*Stank and Justin Sane are sitting in McGinty's Irish Pub in Downtown Silver Spring, Maryland. Tytan sends Stank a text saying he and LD Williams are in the parking garage and will be joining them shortly.*
Stank - Anyway so I told Crusher that there aren't any Jack-In-The-Box's around here.
JS - I heard Jack was at the DC Armory?
Stank - What...? No. Not Moose. Jack-in-the-Box, you know... the fast food place.
JS - Why would Jack be in a box?
Stank - It's a... I'm not doing this.
JS - What's not doing this?
Stank - Me having this conversation.
JS - I'm just fuckin with ya, man. I'm not an idiot. I know what Jack-in-the-box is.
Stank - What is it, then?
JS - Tell 'em, Chuckles.
Chuckles - Juh..?
Stank - For the record I did not invite the clown.
JS - Who? Chuckles?
Stank - Do you see any other clowns in this joint?
JS - What's not to like about Chuckles?
Chuckles - Juh!
Stank - If it were ever possible for Marylin Manson and Keith Richards to procreate... and then their spawn mated with the hypothetical spawn of DJ Qualls and say... Rachel Dratch... the resultant spawn... would flee at the sight of Chuckles the Clown.
Chuckles - Juh, juh, juh.
Stank - Mostly because he smells like fish.
JS - Oh is THAT what that is?
Stank - Why does he smell like fish?
JS - I don't know.
Chuckles - JuhJuh, Juh, Juh, Juh, Juh.
JS - He says sardines make him happy.
Stank - Seriously Justin... he creeps me out.
JS - You ever read Spawn the comic book?
Stank - Justin focus.
*By this time, Regicide walks in and easily finds Stank, and Justin Sane sitting at a nearby booth.*
Tytan - Where the hell is every- OH! Who invited the clown??
Stank - Who do you think?
JS - It's wierd. Everybody ran out the place when they saw-
LDW - Justin, why don't you and... Chuckles is it?
Chuckles - Juh.
LDW - Ew... you and Chuckles here go see a movie accross the way there.
JS - But I'm hungry?
Stank - There's a Chick-Fil-A around the corner. You know how much you like their chicken strips.
JS - Ohhhh Yes. C'mon Chuckles.
Chuckles - Juh! JUH! JUH! JUH!
JS - Chuckles doesn't like Chicken.
Tyt - The clown doesn't like Chicken.
Stank - Apparently he likes Sardines.
LDW - Is that why he smells like fish?
JS - LOOK! We NEED to focus on the REAL issue here!
Stank -
Tyt -
LDW -
Chuckles - Juh..?
JS - Why are there NO Jack-in-the-Boxes in the area?
Stank - I'm sure Stan would agree with you.
LDW - What?
*Stank waves off the question, giving LD a look that suggests he not ask.*
Tyt - Where is Stan by the way?
LDW - He's not contractually obligated to hang out with us.
Stank - He's getting his hotel room. I told him that we-
Chuckles - JUH! JUH! JUHJUHJUH!
Stank - ...
LDW - um...
Tyt - Wow.
Stank - What the fuck is his problem?
JS - He doesn't like chicken.
*Stank, LD and Tytan look at each other then at Justin.*
Stank - Okay... no one is forcing him to have chicken.
LDW - Now actually I want some chicken.
Tytan - Me too.
Stank - Chick-Fil-A?
LDW - Let's go.
Chuckles - JUH!!!!
Stank - Jesus, the fucking clown can stay here.
JS - But I'm hungry and I like chicken strips.
Stank - You don't have to stay. Come with us.
JS - And leave Chuckles here by himself?
Stank - ... ... yes.
JS - But I promised Miss Pretty GM that I would look after him.
Stank - Sorry Justin.
JS - Aww
Stank - I'll bring you back some Chicken Strips.
JS - YAY!
Chuckle - JUH!!!
Stank - FUCK YOU CHUCKLES!
*Stank, LD Williams and Tytan walk out of the empty pub and onto the sidewalk. A crowd of people mill about the area, walking in and out of the various, shops, restaurants, and offices, set in the area. The trio take a short walk to the Chick-Fil-A and make their way inside. The line is long.*
LDW - So did you see?
Stank - See what?
LDW - They aired your Grand Slam ceremony.
Stank - Really? Wow. I didn't know it was being filmed.
LDW - Yours is the first.
Stank - Wow... I'm honored. Wait.. did they show all of it?
LDW - We didn't watch all of it. Tytan just happened to catch part of it in the airport lounge.
Stank - I hope all that shit that went down at the end didn't make it on air.
Tyt - You mean...
LDW - They wouldn't.
Stank - Yes. They would.
*The three stand there in line reflecting on what happened.*
Tyt - It's not really THAT embarrassing
Stank - They threw Feta cheese, Tytan. LOTS of it.
LDW - Eh the whole country was in an uproar. It's not like WE caused it.
Tyt - Did you see the old lady flash Davin?
Stank - Did you see the projectile vomiting afterward?
LDW - And THERE goes my appetite.
Fade
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 2, 2011 15:35:45 GMT -5
Firewoman is sitting in her office, as usual. Although, not as usual lately, as she is wearing workout stuff and appears to have been running before she came in. Opus is as always in his playpool.
OtP: *splash splash splash*
FW: Yeah, I think that is a better route to take.
OtP: *splash splash flipper splash*
FW: She is? Thanks for the warning. Hey, Selena.
GM the Selena comes in from the hallway.
GMtS: How did you--
FW: What do you want? I have the weight room reserved at three, and then yoga--
GMtS: You have also have an interview and photo shoot with OOWF The Magazine that you've been ducking for...wow, at least two years.
FW: Really?
GMtS: Yeah, apparently Alexis set it up a while ago, it was some angle that never ended up going anywhere.
FW: But now it is...
GMtS: Yep!
FW: Okay, I'll do the interview, but I do not have time to do a photo shoot today. I'll see if they can make it tomorrow.
GMtS: Whatevs, just do it. At least you don't have to worry about your figure....um....oops.
FW: ...
GMtS: ...
FW: Go.
GMtS: Gone.
Selena leaves. Fire sighs.
FW: Wanna watch an interview Opus?
OtP: *splash splash jump*
FW: Well, dry yourself off then, and let's get it over with.
Scene shift and Fire is sitting with a professional journalist interviewer. Opus is waddling around.
PJI: Thank you for your time, Firewoman, I know you're busy. First of all...well, how are you doing?
FW: I'm doing...okay.
PJI: You've had quite a year. In fact, it's been almost a year since the WWE v. OOWF television show, and your wedding to long time friend and sometimes enemy Alexander Darling. FW: Wow...it has, hasn't it. Huh.. And they said it would never last.
PJI: Well, it wasn't supposed to right?
FW: No, we were going to get it annulled immediately, but things kept getting in the way and ... well, it seems to be working, so...
PJI: You two have been friends for a very long time. When did you meet?
FW: We met when I joined ROH, so, probably about ten years ago?
PJI: ROH doesn't sign a lot of women directly do them, they usually go with Shimmer, right?
FW: Yeah, and I've done some work there, mostly as a tag team with Alexis. But I started with Chikara. I was ... well, I've not made most of my life a secret, and the rest has been revealed anyway, so ... I was sixteen, sitting in a juvenile detention home, causing trouble there...surprising, I know. Anyway, one day they had a wrestling promotion come in...I don't remember which one, someone kind of local. Anyway...I really was intrigued by what I saw. Now, I was sentenced to be there until I was 21, but if I was good...REALLY good...I could get out at 18. So, I decided then and there that I was going to behave myself so I could get out and join that.
PJI: Did you know that's what your brother was doing in Japan?
FW: He had sent me some postcards and stuff through the years, but at that point ... I hadn't had a permanent address for years, so he didn't probably know where I was. Anyway, the last time I had heard from him was a year or so before that, and he said he was heading to Japan to wrestle, make some money, and come get me. Same old stuff really. So, I knew, but I didn't know.
PJI: So you got out of juvy, signed up with Chikara.
FW: Yeah, I was there for a year or so, and then I think it was Austin and Gabe...saw a show, and made me an offer.
PJI: Much has been said about the first match you did with Alex.
FW: *laughing* Yeah...he was supposed to pin me. But if you think he was an insufferable prick with a poor little rich boy complex when he got here to OOWF, he was about fifty times worse. Alexis and I got along okay, but.... anyway, he had been especially douchy that week, and Austin and I were both pretty tired of him. So, at the end of the match, he was supposed to suprise me with a roll up, but I ... I think he made some smart ass remark in my ear, and I just lost it. So he went to roll me up, and I just rolled on through and pinned him. It happened so quick I think it caught him by surprise.
PJI: Most places you'd be fired on the spot for that.
FW: Yeah, and I figured that's what would happen. But the crowd reaction was amazing,and ... well, like I said....Austin I guess thought Alex needed to be taken down a peg. We had a mid-card feud for a while, and that's when we got to be friends.
PJI: And now....well, we have to ask.....you two were just dealt a big disappointment.
FW: Yeah...and...it's just not the right time. But...someday.
PJI: So you've talked about--
FW: Look, I'm an open book, but Alex is more reserved, so I'm going to have to respect that and say let's move on....are we not talking about wrestling?
PJI: In a minute. So you three went to Japan...did you know your brother was still there?
FW: Not really. I mean, he was running in very different circles from a bunch of rookies. He had moved on from NOAH, mostly, but still made return visits. He stayed under his mask though, so I didn't know it was him.
PJI: Why do you think he did that?
FW: You'll have to ask Moose. He always told me it was because he thought I'd rather make my own way, rather than as Moose or Ket's little sister. Besides, I didn't like who he was hanging with.
PJI: But Alex ended up with --
FW: Isn't that all ancient history?
PJI: Well, yeah, but...
FW: Move along, or I'm moving on....OPUS! Get away from there!
Opus is waddling along the wall, and appears to have become transfixed by the lighting. He stops before he can get into any trouble and turns to look at Fire innocently.
OtP: *blink blink blink*
FW: Don't blink at me...get over here.
OtP: *waddle waddle sadly waddle*
PJI: Okay, fine. Let's talk about your match last week against Psykle.
FW: I have nothing to say about that. I was unprepared. Now, even with preparation he still might have beaten me, but Chad was right. That was not the real me. JW Westgaard will be seeing that.
PJI: What about his statement that he won't wrestle a woman.
FW: Well, I could go into a post-modernist feminist rant about that, but then that would mean I actually believed him.
PJI: You don't?
FW: *batistalaugh* No way. I think he's just saying that to lull me into a false sense of confidence, or that I'll feel like I can take another week off from training...whatever the reason, I'm not buying it, JW. So you best be ready, because I'm not going easy on you either.
PJI: Speaking of people not buying things....Psykle's manager doesn't believe that...well, he doesn't believe you didn't know.....he thinks the whole pregnancy thing was a work.
FW: *sigh* Well, I can understand why he would think that. It's not like I hadn't done that before, to Attitude Adjuster. I can sit here and say that it wasn't that way this time, but he probably won't believe me. That's his choice. I can't say that I care one way or the other.
Lucky comes in.
L: Fire, you have a conference call at two, and then you have gym time booked at--
FW: Damn, I forgot about the call....do we need to reschedule?
PJI: No, no...I think I have enough, and I can send the cameras for the work out, if that's okay.
FW: No.
L: Yes, it's fine.
FW: Fine. Yes, it's fine. C'mon Opus, it's time for your snack.
OtP: *waddle waddle happy waddle*
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 2, 2011 15:36:25 GMT -5
Danny and OBJ are sitting at a table when DVD walks over and sits down.
DVD: Do you know who the two non champs with the best records in the company are?
OBJ: Evans?
Danny makes the motion of a lighter sparking.
DVD: (looking at both of them in shock) No it's the two of you.
Danny looks a little shocked at this and OBJ just shrugs.
OBJ: (belches) That's Australian for we don't really do singles at the moment.
DVD: No you don't, but you have started to connect as a team more now then ever before. Whether it's Trios or Tag, you two have truly started to gel as a seriously deadly team.
Danny and Jack both smile and nod at this.
DVD: Yet last week, you lost.
Danny frowns.
OBJ: Hey, to be fair mate, the BKK pulled out the cheap knuckle shot.
DVD: Maybe so, but we have overcome that in the past. At the end of the day, I don't think it was our opponents that beat us, but our allies.
Danny shakes his head no, and then bumps his knuckles together.
OBJ: Danny's right, those boys gave their all same as us.
DVD: I'm not denying that, but the problem was we went into that match still looking at them as being the "Flying Hawaiians" a team we once considered friends.
Danny mimes tearing a paper in half, then putting it back together.
DVD: Yeah, you two may have moved past the days of them sneak attacking us in here, but I haven't. Kai and Aina may be good guys deep down, but that Noelani is in there heads. You face them this week, and if you go into this match thinking you are facing your friends the Hawaiians you will lose.
Danny raises an eyebrow, and motions for DVD to elaborate.
DVD: The Hawaiians are gone. The Night Marchers remain. This is not the same team, she has done something to them. I can't explain it. I hate to admit it, but it's something our commish would know more about. What I do know, is that if you don't change how you view them, you will lose.
OBJ: Now mate, we aren't exactly push overs here. We are more than capable of bringing it when we need to.
Danny nods in agreement.
DVD: I'm not denying your ability. I'm merely trying to open your minds to the truth. When that bell rings you aren't facing friends, you are facing deadly enemies.
OBJ's eyes roll into the back of his head, and when they come back Jack of the Hinterlands is there. To DVD's surprise Danny's eyes roll into the back of his head as well, and when they roll back.....well he's still Danny, but a more pissed off looking Danny.
JotH: Destroy is part of the name, don't ever forget that. We can be great friends, but we can be even worse enemies. Let them call upon all the gods and goddesses they want. We underestimate no one. We come to fight, and we come to win. We Drink, We Destroy. It's a simple mantra, and it works.
Danny stares daggers into DVD and mouths the word Boom.
DVD: (a smile creeping across his face) looks like this little pep talk was just a formality. (He turns to stare into the camera) Hey Noelani, see you at Mayhem babe.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 2, 2011 15:37:19 GMT -5
JW Westgaard is sitting in Ric Sandwiche Shoppe watching TV.
Flair walks out from the kitchen and throws a plate down in front JW.
Flair: Try this!!! Got the recipe for some really good pit beef a few years ago. WOOOOO! Got it from a lady who’s husband owns a BBQ joint over in balitmore. She went all night with the champ!!!! WOOOO!!
JW: this looks damn good…..
Flair walks over and turns the TV to OOWF television and they’re in the middle of Firewoman’s interview
Flair as he’s walking to the kitchen: WOOOOO!....She thinks you’re playing possum!
JW shakes his head, then his cell phone rings…. JW answers (we can only hear ½ the conversation): Hey ma……..We’re in DC……..oh, you heard about the card? ……..I won’t do anything to hurt her Ma……..yeah, I know……..I said I know what will happen if I do……..well, i saw her interview too..... i know she doesn’t believe me, why should she? Most the guys around here wouldn’t think twice about trying to break her neck……..I’m not /
Flair interrupts: JW you want another pit beef?
JW: Ric, I am on the phone with my mom…..hold on
Flair: I TOOK YOUR MOM FOR A RIDE ON SPACE MOUNTAIN!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!
JW’s eye get as big as softballs and his mouth drops…..we hear yelling coming from the phone as he reaches to hand the phone to Flair.
JW: she wants to talk to you.
Flair (again, we can only hear ½ the conversation): WOOOO!!!! YOU WANT A RIDE WITH
<long pause>
Flairs face begins to looks as though someone just killed his puppy.
Flair (very quietly): No Ma’am …….yes Ma’am …….no Ma’am….. I realize now I could not handle you and I should not speak about people's mothers in that nature…….I apologize…….yes Ma’am……expect some flower as an apology by Wednesday……ok Ma’am, I will let him know…..I’ll make sure of it.
Flair hangs up the phone and hands it to JW.
JW: wow you fucked up big time….
Flair (still very somber): Yeah…..your mom a fan of the Rock?
JW, smiling,: yeah, why?
Flair: after running me down and making me feel like a scalded dog, she said I couldn't handle her poontang pie and that if you so much as harm a hair on that girl’s head, she’s grabbing one of your dad’s belts, and is going to, and I quote “ come find us and layeth the smackdown on both of our Candy Asses.”
JW puts his head in his hands: oh sweet jumping jesus!!!!!
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 2, 2011 15:37:53 GMT -5
~~~ Zane Myers is inside his dressing area, watching something at the former Sony Multimedia Center. Chad walks in, one of the RNSFJ's on his arm. ~~~
Chad: Hey partner. This is Bianca. She's new.
Zane: (without looking away) Hello
Bianca: OOoohhhhhhh You're Zane Myers! I'm supposed to interview you this week.
~~~ She plops down on the couch beside him ~~~
Bianca: So Zane, you aren't being given a rematch for the Intercontinental Title, are you upset at this development?
Zane: (still not looking away from the screen) No. I don't want a rematch. I don't care about the Intercontinental Championship. Being a part of this tag team is what I am focusing on. getting back to where we belong. getting back our World Tag Team Championships.
Bianca: Really?
Chad: Really?
Zane: Really really.
Bianca: So I guess that's that. I have to go report to the office.
~~~ She leaves. Chad sits down on the other side of Zane ~~~
Chad: So, we don't know who we are facing. What tape are you studying?
Zane: (Picking up the remote) Ours. Look at this. I've noticed we have a tendency to ........
~~~ Cut ~~~
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 7, 2011 10:17:17 GMT -5
FADE IN on a image of the United States flag. Stepping out in front of it is The Crusher Stan Fulton.
"This is a weekend where we can be happy to be Americans and live in a country of so many great people."
Fulton pauses and looks up to the right with a beautific smile on his face, then turns back to the camera with a scowl.
"Well screw that.
"This country is so fucked up, that it should have been overrun by the Vandals and Visigoths. My home state is shut down because politicians can't agree on anything, any one of you would trample over a small child to get a free smoothie and our planet is quickly becoming untenable.
"But worst of all. The very worst thing, is you allow creatures like these to roam around free."
Fulton holds up pictures of Sting, Ronald McDonald and Verne Troyer.
"What kind of a world do we live in, where clowns and midgets can roam free terrorizing the populace? These creatures should be locked away. But nooooo. We're a progressive country who's all about free speech and personal rights and other nonsense.
"Wake up, America! Your country's going to shit and it's because things like these are everywhere!
"So I will do my part to rid the world of clowns... starting with that clown that's the current OOWF world champion. Alexander Darling is a clown. It's laughable that of all the talented people that could hold that title, it's around the waist of a has-been like Alexander Darling.
"He's been handed things all his life and he was handed that World title. Now, granted he's accomplished quite a bit but let's face it. He's been around long enough to do it. But he still thinks he's top of the line. Nuh-uh. He's a clown.
"Now, me? I'm halfway to being another Six-Pack champion and I've only been here about a year. I'm the current OOWF Intercontinental Champion. I didn't get my title shot and victory while my wife was Commissioner. You have to think about how that played out, don't you?
"But here we are, only a few days until our match at Mayhem and Mr. Firewoman not only doesn't mention me this week, he's not even made an appearance. I'm sure he's content to let his wife make sure he doesn't lose that title anytime soon. Nor will she let him lose this non-title match.
"Clown. They'll probably arrive together at ringside in one of those Shriner's cars.
"So, America, Happy Birthday to the most decadent, filthly, scummy country in the world. I hope you blow your fingers off on a bottle rocket.
"Enjoy the pain."
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 7, 2011 10:18:39 GMT -5
<Moose is sitting in the back, in the locker room. He is looking somewhat better, but really doesn’t look anywhere NEAR ring shape. He is sitting in an overstuffed chair absentmindedly flipping through channels, occasionally stopping on OOWFtv. LD Williams walks in and grabs the remote and turns it off the tv and onto the DVD player and gets some discs ready>
MHJ: HEY! I was watching that!
LDW: Uh huh. Let me ask you something, when was the last time you watched tape on an opponent?
MHJ: When was the last time I needed to?
LDW: Maybe you would have finished Davin if you had watched some tape on him
<Moose just snarls at this>
LDW: Look, I get what your style is in the ring. Seek and destroy. And it has done you well over the years. But if you are serious about this Onslaught thing, really serious, that is not going to work
MHJ: Wait, why do you care? If I DO succeed in this, you are out twelve grand
LDW: <pausing> That might be a small price to pay to have someone I consider a friend around for a few more years
MHJ: What are you saying?
LDW: You know what I am saying
MHJ: <grinning> I want to hear you say it
<LD glares at Moose>
LDW: Look Moose……at the pace you are going, you are going to end up like Spin. Maybe not directly by your own hand with a bullet, but you are going to go too far and it will be the end. And I don’t want to hear your crap about self-fulfilling prophecy or anything else. This might be the first GOOD decision you have made in YEARS. I want you to at least take it seriously. Have you even watched tape on Mai?
MHJ: There’s tape on Mai?
LDW: Not a whole lot, no, but she is similar to some others, Fire for example.
MHJ: Oh, well then I have this in the bag. No problem
<LD puts a DVD in and we see Mai in Japan wrestling.>
LDW: Ok, here is her submission finisher, it’s a triangle choke. How do you get out of it?
MHJ: Rake the eyes
LDW: That would be a referee warning, and knowing you, you would be out of them
MHJ: Grab the rope
LDW: Same thing, you only get three rope breaks, you have to save them for something that is either extremely painful, or something that is going to break a bone.
MHJ: Or pass out?
LDW: You have plenty of time to escape a hold like this if you just stay calm. Now, what do you do?
MHJ: well, she has hold of my arm, lift her and slam her into the mat
LDW: That might work, but if she holds on, she is only going to cinch it tighter, and you are going to expend a lot of energy.
MHJ: Fine. What do you do?
LDW: All you can do is try to lock your hands on her knee, and dig your elbow into the opposite hip. Once you have that, you roll, and it SHOULD break the hold.
<Moose just stares at LD>
LDW: What?
MHJ: That is easier than just punching her in the face?
LDW: One, if you are trapped in that, you have NO leverage. Two, I already told you, that is a warning. If you have a way out, an escape, you use that before you use a warning or rope break.
MHJ: This is ridiculous. Who thought up these rules?
LDW: Looks, the Onslaught title was created as a way to be different from the other titles, it is more about wrestling than bloodletting.
MHJ: Look, I held this title once……
LDW: And it was a minor miracle that you did. Do you even remember HOW you won it?
MHJ: I beat Davin…..
LDW: Yes, you beat Davin…..and Crete, and Knife and Ryan Hardcore. It was a 60 minute Iron Man Match at Doomy Doomy Doom Doom IV. Do you remember how it went down?
MHJ: Uhh, no
<LD pops a DVD into the DVD player and selects that match>
MHJ: Yeah that’s right, I won on a tie breaker because I beat that idiot Crete.
LDW: <shaking his head> You won, but in the context of a singles match, you would have lost…..bad
MHJ: All that matters is that I won
LDW: That is the point Moose, you WOULDN’T have won. Look….. this is the first fall you won…
MHJ: So?
LDW: So? That worked there, but one on one? It won’t. You didn’t DO anything, you snuck in and stole a pin. Davin hit the move, you just capitalized. Which, in that match, fine, but you won’t have that opportunity in singles match. Look, here’s the next fall.
MHJ: Ok what was wrong with that? I used a warning to hit the move, then got the pin! That is completely in the rules!
LDW: Then? It was. The referee’s have really cracked down on that now. If you drop someone with a DDT on the concrete floor now, you are more likely to draw an automatic disqualification
MHJ: WHAT?
LDW: It’s about wrestling Moose
MHJ: A DDT IS a wrestling move!
LDW: Not on the floor. Those are the rules
MHJ: This is fucking stupid
LDW: Be that as it may, it is what it is. Now, this…..
MHJ: WHAT? Knife blindsided me!
LDW: Because you were standing there watching Crete get beat down instead of paying attention to what is going on around you. You got lost in the moment, and it cost you. You do that now, let…….Them……distract you, and you will lose
<Moose just snarls, clearly NOT enjoying this at all>
LDW: Do I even NEED to explain what was wrong with that?
MHJ: It got the job done
LDW: Thumb to the eye would have been AT LEAST your second warning, probably more than that, and would have drawn the DQ, which would have never given you the win. If the referee had been in place outside the ring instead of checking on Davin, you would never have been able to use the handful of tights to get the win. I know you are proud of it, but you robbed Crete there, you should have NEVER won the title.
MHJ: Are you about done here?
LDW: Look, do you want to prove this or not?
<Moose just grumbles again>
LDW: Ok the first thing we do <grabbing Happy Deth Bat> is get rid of this
MHJ: What the fuck do you think you are doing?
LDW: This is a crutch. You rely on it as an out. That will do you NO good in onslaught matches. I will hold onto it for now.
MHJ: I intensely dislike you right now
LDW: Yeah, I know. You are going to hate me even more by the end of the day though
MHJ: Why?
LDW: I have ten hours of Onslaught tape. We are going to study the hell out of it
MHJ: But I have to……I mean there is this…….you know damn well I can’t leave
LDW: I do
MHJ: I hate you
LDW: I can live with that. Disc one……the best of Firechild, pay attention
<fade to black>
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 7, 2011 10:20:40 GMT -5
~~~ Zane Myers & Chad Madison are standing in front of the OOWF Banner ~~~
Chad: July 4. A day of celebration. A day of independence.
Zane: Also a big day for Texpress. On this date, four years ago, we made our debut with the OOWF.
Chad: Now, it was just a win against a couple of nobodies, but the precedent was set. The bar for Tag Team Wrestling in this company had just been raised.
Zane: When we arrived in the OOWF, we were very successful. We had been on top of every tag team division we had been a part of. THen suddenly, we were on the bottom, working our way up.
Chad: And now we begin again. wrestling at the bottom of the card, needing to prove ourselves once again. And we shall.
Zane: Whether you know us as Phantos & Lucios, Cowboy Up, or The Texpress, we are STILL The Measuring Stick, We will always be Division Killers, and we are The Uncrowned Champions
[Edited on 07/04/11 by TexShark300]
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 7, 2011 10:24:23 GMT -5
Moose and LD are at Ric's getting...oh, who cares, it's just a set up anyway. They sit down.
MHJ: I have never been so bored in my entire life. Who knew there was enough for three DVDs of Uncle Entity?
LDW: See though? This is not just seek and destroy. You have to...hey! Look! It's Fire! HEY FIRE! OVER HERE!
MHJ: Uh huh....it's not going to work.
Firewoman looks over sees LD and smiles, sees Moose and frowns and tries to pretend not to see.
MHJ: Hating you more now.
LDW: You will thank me, in time. FIRE! THERE'S A SEAT HERE!
Fire looks around and sighs, finally walking over.
LDW: What a surprise, Fire, have a seat.
FW: It's hardly a surprise, LD. I have coffee at this time every day.
LDW: Do you? I hadn't noticed. Ya look great, Fire. Doesn't she look great Moose?
MHJ: Mmmph.
FW: *sitting down* Don't you think you're trying a bit too hard, LD?
LDW: I have to. You are two of the most stubborn people on the planet. So, did you know Moose is going for the Onslaught title?
Firewoman spits coffee out her nose. Moose tries to hide a laugh.
FW: Seriously? I saw that on the run sheet, I thought Selena had made a typo.
MHJ: Deadly serious.
FW: But you'll have to......
MHJ: What?
FW: You'll have to....wrestle....like....for real.
MHJ: It's been done.
FW: When, twenty five years ago?
MHJ: HEY!
LDW: You want in on the bet, Fire?
FW: No thanks. And I'm not helping you pay it off, either, Moose.
MHJ: Won't need to. And I wouldn't take any of Alex's money anyway.
FW: I have my own...you know, never mind. Nice try, LD...
Fire goes to stand, but LD is quicker and gets behind her, pushing her shoulders back down into the chair.
LDW: Stay. You two will thank me later.
LD leaves.
MHJ: .....
FW: .....
MHJ: .....
FW: So, you're not going to say anything.
MHJ: Dead to me.
FW: No, I'm not....
MHJ: No...but close.
FW: .....
MHJ: .....
FW: *sighing* You know, we COULD train together....
MHJ: LD is taking care of that...
Firewoman's lips curl slightly, as she's trying to suppress a smile.
MHJ: Alright, what....
FW: The phrase "old dog, new tricks" comes to mind.
MHJ: Are you saying I can't do it?
FW: I'm ... I'm not SAYING that....
MHJ: You don't believe me.
FW: Fine. No, I don't. It was damn hard for me to keep myself under control to win it, and that's when the rules were way lax.
MHJ: *loudly* Are. You. Saying. I. Can't. Control. Myself?
FW: Okay, let's test it.....Alex and I are thinking of having an anniversary party, want to come?
Moose growls at her, and stands up, starting to throw is coffee across the room, when he catches her smiling. He takes a deep breath, and sits down, quietly and gently setting his cup on the table.
MHJ: How nice for you. I believe I shall be otherwise engaged.
FW: Uh huh...Nice try.
MHJ: I will not only win this title...
FW: Championship.
MHJ: WHATEVER! I will not only win it...but I will hold it longer than YOU did!
FW: Oh? Not planning on defending it then?
MHJ: I will not only defend it from everyone....I'll hold it longer than you did.
FW: Psh....you won't hold it past the show after you win it...IF you win it.
MHJ: Yeah...we'll see......
Moose gets up suddenly, the chair falling over backward. He storms out, knocking the tray carrier over.
FW: Oh yeah....I wonder if I can interest Stank and LD into donating some of Moose's money to Covenant House
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 7, 2011 10:25:39 GMT -5
Noelani is sunbathing on a chair by a pool conveniently placed next to the Armory. (Who cares if there isn't one?) A shadow falls over her, causing her to look up.Noe: You're blocking my sun. What do you want Vic? The camera pans up to see "Dashing" Victor Dinero standing over Noelani.DVD: I was hoping to have a word. Noelani gives him a look that could kill.DVD: Civilly. Noe: Make it quick. I wanna catch a few more rays before I do my photoshoot for "Modern Soldier" magazine. DVD: Photoshoot? "Modern Soldier"? Oh, I get it, we're at the Armory, 4th of July weekend, in DC... Noe: No, I think it's just Selena thinking I'm a freak and using me for free pub. I really should ask for a raise. The speakers for the intercom system squeal loudly as it's turned on. We hear Selena's voice. GMSa-T: No, if you wanna dress and act like a floozy, I'm gonna treat you like one! Noelani and DVD both look around confused. They then see the ninja cam and glare at it.DVD: I guess we're live on OOWF-TV. GMSa-T: Yes you are. Now, carry on. I'm like totally bored. Like a Criminology Professor in Columbus, Ohio waiting in her office for another promo bored. Noelani sighs.Noe: Who says "floozy"? Anyway, what did you want? DVD: A proposal. Noe: I'm not gonna marry you. I'm Hawai'ian, I don't need a green card. DVD: Like I'd marry someone like you. Noe: You'd love to marry me. DVD: Anyway, my proposal is this: Leave the Night Marchers and whatever you do to them at home. Bring the Flyin' Hawai'ians back for our match. Our relations have just started to recuperate after "The Incident." There is no need for any bloodthirstyness. Let's have a civil, professional match. There's nothing really on the line... Noe: The winner might be in line for a title shot. No dice, Vic. DVD: Do you really believe that? You do realize the booker here has a hard-on for Regicide, right? Neither of our teams are getting a sniff of the Tag Titles anytime soon. Just then, Kayfabe slowly rises from the pool with a murderous look in her eyes aimed at DVD (much like a Terminator). The intercom squeals again.GMSa-T: Kayfabe!! I need to talk to you!! Hang on!! The intercom squeals again and then there's a thud. Kayfabe looks around, stressed and dives back into the pool.Noe: This may be the weirdest promo I've ever been a part of. DVD: Agreed. Selena comes running into the pool area, holding a wriggling Humphrey in her arms.GMSa-T: Kayfabe!! Get her Humphrey!! Selena throws Humphrey into the pool.H: BARK!! *splash* DVD: What took you so long? GMSa-T: Dude, you ever tried running with a seal in your arms? DVD: Can't say that I have, no. GMSa-T: It's tough dude. Noe: Vic? You wanna discuss your idea? You can buy me a drink. DVD: Sounds good. Noelani climbs out of the chair and wraps a sarong around her waist.Noe: Let's get out of here. Noelani leads DVD back into the arena as Humphrey splashes in the pool with Selena watching, clapping, and laughing.GMSa-T: Get her Humphrey!! HAHA. Noelani's SO not getting a raise.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 7, 2011 10:27:24 GMT -5
**SFJ#47 approaches Moosehead Jack’s locker room door and is about to knock when she hears a voice behind her.**
V: “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
**SFJ#47 turns and sees Tytan approaching.**
T: “L.D.’s had him locked in there watching tape. You don’t want to be the first one through the door.”
SFJ#47: “Actually, I was looking for L.D. to get his thoughts on your match this week. Care to give me yours?”
T: “Running with L.D. Williams, you tend to pick up a thing or two - like the desire not to mince words. Brass Knuckle Kings, I could lay out our accomplishments and compare them, but here’s a hint - ours are better. I could talk about who’s willing to go further to win - again, us. I could even wax poetic about who wants it more - one more time, us. It doesn’t matter what direction you look at it from, or what your criteria are, we win. Wednesday night, that’s exactly what will happen.
Sleep well, Kings, for Wednesday you die.”
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 7, 2011 10:28:07 GMT -5
Cut to Matt Folz standing next to a very good looking leggy blonde. VGLLB: Hi there OOWF fans, My name is Jaime McAllister, and I am proud to be Matt Folz's new personal interviewer. Matt, how do you feel coming off your loss last week? MF: First off Jaime, I'd like to wish you, the rest of the OOWF, and all the OOWF fans out there a safe and happy 4th of July. Especially to those in the military watching this via the Armed Forces Network. My brother was in the National Guard, and after hearing him describe just basic training, I know I wouldn't have lasted a day. Now, to your question: Losing always fucking sucks, but I'm not unhappy with my performance. I think all 3 of us went out there and tore the house down, and that will be reflected when we get to match of the year voting. I do wish that it'd been an ECW style triple threat match instead of a one fall triple threat match. However, I don't hold out hope of ever having one of those, considering I doubt our 'esteemed' general manager neither watched ECW or could even SPELL E-C-W. Regardless, I make no excuses and I congratulate Alexander Darling. I hope I can earn another title shot somewhere down the line and have the outcome be different. JM: This week you face Davin Moreland, not really a secret you two don't like eachother that much. MF: You're very perceptive, knew there was a reason I hired you. JM: Didn't you say last night that it was because I had a great set of legs? MF: CoughPublicCough. JM: Oh, uh, right, sorry.... your comments about your match Wednesday? MF: My comment is it's a no win situation for me. If I win, so what? I've beat a guy who shouldn't even be medically cleared for months, if ever. If I lose, then I'm a complete joke who lost to a guy who shouldn't even be in the ring yet. Either way, not an enviable position to be in. JM: With all his injuries, are you looking past him then? MF: Not at all. Despite his numerous flaws: His ego, his complete inability to shut the fuck up, his horrible taste in associates, his even worse taste in women, He is still a somewhat talented competitor and even I'll give him credit for being a tough son of a bitch. I know he's going to come at me with everything he's got left on Wednesday, and I'm ready for that. JM: Anything else? MF: Nah, not at this time. I'm going to go grab some dinner. JM (smiling seductively): Want some company? MF: Sure. Folz turns to the camera and winks as we FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 7, 2011 10:28:42 GMT -5
*Eric O'Mac and Bryce Larson is watching Tytan's promo.*
Bryce: He never was the best promo guy.
Eric: He's better when he's a heel. His first World Championship run wasn't that bad.
Bryce: You have that right. But I'm sure we aren't watching this to blow smoke up his ass.
Eric: You are right. It's to dissect his promo point by point.
Eric: OK. Let's compare them. As a team, Regicide has won....ZERO tag team championships. As a team, the Brass Knuckle Kings have won one tag team championship, and we haven't lost them since we won them. Sure, they'll counter with some bull about how KZ and Weapon X and Gods and Monsters prove they are great tag team wrestlers. All it proves it that those specific teams were good...but then again, none of those specific teams had to face us. But Regicide? Their team name is a reference to our team name...and they have failed to live up to that expectation. They haven't killed anything. If anything, they've made us stronger, because we've been forced to become better.
Eric: Who's willing to further to win? Hmm? Let's see....Bryce and I carry brass knuckles on us at all times. We have second and third pairs hidden somewhere on our person at all times. We aren't afraid to use them during matches, even if it means disqualification. We've done it all year. At all costs, retain the title. You...haven't proved a damn thing about who is willing to go further. We have, time and time again. And you know something? I'm not so sure we will even need the brass knuckles to beat you. I think I've proven myself time and time again as the greatest pure athlete to ever lace up the boots....but we'll still have them with us just in case you try to get cute and threaten to actually win the match.
Eric: If you wanted it more, you would have won the tag team championships one of the other billion chances you've gotten. If you wanted it more, Bryce and I wouldn't be in the midst of a title reign that has lasted 131 days. That's good enough for top five of all time, need I remind you? So, tell me? What makes this Wednesday different? All because you say so?
Eric: I've looked at the criteria and I've looked at this from a logical direction. If you aren't a roided up muscle freak, then you understand that the Brass Knuckle Kings have the clear advantage...and it's an advantage that NO team will ever regain again. We are fifteen days from holding the tag team championships longer than ANY team. We are the elite, we are the greats, we are the KINGS of the division.
There is one part of your promo that I'll agree with. We will sleep well. But not because we're going to die, Wednesday. But because despite all of the talent that you two have, we're simply better, and as the White Knight of the OOWF, I will never tell a lie. On Wednesday night....we'll have the last laugh.
*Fade out.*
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 7, 2011 10:30:10 GMT -5
Firewoman comes in from her conference calls and gym time and whatever else. Alexander is watching tape of Stan Fulton, looking very serious and determined.
FW: Wow...you're even taking notes.
AD: ....
Fire goes about her regular evening activities. She takes a shower, changes into regular clothes, comes out discussing dinner options. Alexander is still watching tape.
FW: ....
AD: ....
FW: So then I thought we could set fire to the Capital, since the military-industrial complex is maintaining the bourgeoisie agenda, so that even the upper classes have become pawns in a grand game of globalization chess where everyone loses except the--
AD: Wait...huh?
FW: Exactly.
AD: Sorry...I just ... I want to be prepared.
FW: You will be. But not if you don't eat. And we can talk.
AD: Sure where do you want...wait...you want to talk?
He notices Fire is SITTING~! directly across from him, hands calmly on her thighs, which means she's very ... nervous about something.
AD: Since when do you want to talk?
FW: Well, we've been busy, and there's been a lot of ... stuff. So we should....
AD: Talk.
FW: Right. That.
AD: *sighing and turning off the TV* Okay. I assume you have a topic in mind.
FW: Yes. Well. Alex....it's been about a year...and I feel.... well, I feel we did get off on a ... strange start.
AD: You could call it that.
FW: And I feel that...well, despite that...I feel that it turned out okay.
AD: You feel that....uh huh....
FW: So, I was thinking...I mean....I FEEL that....
AD: Fire....
FW: It's against the rules to interrupt, Alex.
AD: Rules? Fire...have you been talking to Dr. Freedman?
FW: ....
AD: Fire....
FW: Maybe?
AD: Fire...
FW: Okay, that was my conference call....calls....
AD: Calls?
FW: You're really not getting with the spirit of our productive and adult conversational outline, Alex. You're supposed to.... I mean... I FEEL you're not--
AD: Can you PLEASE can it with the psychobabble? What do you want?
FW: Oh...um....well, we should do something....
AD: Liiiiike....
FW: Well, um....I don't know....
AD: We could...I KNOW! We could have an anniversary party! In the ring!
FW: ....
AD: ....
FW: That's not funny.
AD: Okay, what then?
FW: I don't know...maybe....take a trip?
AD: We travel all the time.
FW: Yes but.....just.....
AD: You mean like.....a honeymo--
FW: DON'T SAY IT!
AD: What? Why?
FW: You'll....you'll curse it.
AD: Fire.... Fine..okay...where.
FW: I don't care.
AD: Well, there's Aruba...I think we have a beach house there you haven't burned down.
FW: Funny.
AD: Sicily was nice. We could head back there, go to Italy. Maybe the whole Mediterranean cruise thing.
FW: Hm...that might be.....okay.
AD: Just okay?
FW: Well, I might not be able to swing us enough time for an entire cruise, but...I'll see what I can do.
AD: Alright, I'll take care of it.
FW: Good, can we go back to wrestling talk now?
AD: Sure...
The OOWF Universe sighs in relief
FW: JW Westgaard says he won't fight me.
AD: Then you win. Problem solved.
FW: No, Alex, problem NOT solved.
AD: Have you watched tape on him?
FW: Yeah, but....if I win, it'll look like he let me.
AD: So he doesn't fight back, you pin him, you win, he looks like a pussy because everyone on the planet knows there's no way anyone "let's you win" unless they're just trying to avoid getting seriously hurt.
FW: ....
AD: What?
FW: That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
AD: Oh, it is not. You mentioned dinner?
FW: Huh? Okay, let's go.
*FADE*
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