|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 13, 2011 21:30:16 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Dodge City, Kansas
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
Brass Knuckle Kings vs. Texpress
OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match[/u]
Regicide & Stan Fulton vs. Drink & Destroy
Non-Title Onslaught Rules Match[/u]
El Lobo Sangriento vs. Psykle vs. J-P Sparxx
Onslaught Rules Match[/u]
Mai Muyo vs. Moosehead Jack
Stank vs. Chris Evans
Matt Folz vs. JW Westgaard
The Night Marchers vs. CC Scott & Predator
Card subject to old west vigilante justice
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 13, 2011 21:30:54 GMT -5
*Bryce Larson is seen reading the lineup for next week's Mayhem when Eric O'Mac walks in, carrying an NIV Bible under his arm and wearing his OOWF World Tag Team Championship around his waist.*
Bryce: So...where have you been?
Eric: Bible study.
Bryce: There's a bible study in the OOWF?
Eric: Me and Mai Muyo started one a couple of weeks back.
Bryce: Ok...who else is in it?
Eric: Well...no one, yet. We haven't exactly advertised it.
Bryce: Why not?
Eric: Well, religion is a touchy subject around here. Moose thinks the Bible is a book of lies, but I doubt he's ever done enough research to get to that conclusion. I've never really seen anyone else speak out on their religion around here except for maybe Fire, and I don't think she is Christian. Mai and I just figured we were the only ones around here.
Bryce: You could have invited me.
Eric: You are invited. We normally meet on Tuesdays at 10:30.
Bryce: Um...I'm busy those nights.
Eric: Doing what?
Bryce: A radio show.
Eric: Oh. Did I know this?
Bryce: Yeah, you did. But thanks for plugging it now.
Eric: So, what is our plan for next week?
Bryce: We have Texpress.
Eric: I assume it's a non title match.
Bryce: No, it's a title match.
Eric: OK...the same team that lost to Matt Folz and Chris Evans gets a title shot? There's a reason I like Phineas and Ferb more than Wizards of Waverly Place.
Bryce: I don't understand you, sometimes.
Eric: My point is, I'm not exactly worried about the Texpress. In fact, maybe I've been watching too much Disney channel, but I feel a song coming up...
Eric: There's 156 days until history and no one will come along to end it.
There's no problem for this new tag team generation, so we'll find some way to spend it...
LIKE MAYBE
Visiting catering or fighting a Tytan or wrestling on top of the Eiffel Tower
Discovering a finisher that doesn't exist (HEY!), or giving Stank a shower
Surfing the OO Forums, creating pizza rolls or locating Stan Fulton's brain (it's over here!)
Finding Moose's salary, painting the locker room and driving Selena insane!
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before we make history this fall...
So stick with us, because Eric and Bryce are gonna do it all!
(Selena...Eric and Bryce are making a title sequence!)
*Eric is done singing and Bryce kind of just grins.*
Bryce: OK...I think we need to prepare a little harder.
Eric: Yeah, but Phineas and Ferb is coming on...
Bryce: Don't make me get Lauren.
Eric: *sigh* Fine. But I'm DVRing it, and you can't stop me.
*Fade out.*
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 13, 2011 21:31:36 GMT -5
Firewoman is STORMING~! down the hall. Well, she would be, but...you know, crutches. She's still making pretty good time, but eventually gets fed up with them, and tosses them aside. She STORMS~! with a little bit more storminess, but is limping a lot. She rounds a corner and nearly runs over GM the Selena.
GMtS: Whoa, man...where are you going?
FW: Out. Of. My. Way.
GMtS: You are supposed to be at ring tear down. Why are you headed back to catering?
FW: Look. You and I have been getting along. You don't want to endanger that now. This doesn't concern you so, again, Get. Out. Of. My. Way.
GMtS: Look, I wasn't born yesterday.
FW: Really?
GMtS: You're going after Attitude Adjuster. I know you are.
FW: Welcome to the party. Now MOVE.
GMtS: I can't let you do that.
FW: I don't think you can NOT let me do that.
GMtS: Okay...you're right. If you really wanted to, yeah, there's nothing I can do to stop you. Happy now?
FW: Not until I get my hands around his neck.
Fire goes to get around her, but Selena side steps and blocks her again.
FW: You have a death wish?
GMtS: Look...I get it....he attacked you...I didn't know it was him, and--
FW: Really? He's not under contract?
GMtS: Well...he is...but--
FW: MOVE!
GMtS: NO! Now listen....you are in no condition to do anything, anyway. You can barely stand. You haven't been cleared to wrestle, so there's no way you should be doing anything to anyone.
FW: ....
GMtS: ....
FW: Gee, it's almost like you care.
GMtS: You won't believe this, but ... I kinda do. And not JUST because having you off the card is hurting revenues.
FW: ....
GMtS: I promise... you'll get your chance.
FW: If I don't....
GMtS: You can firesault me or whatever it is you do.
FW: Selena, you don't firesault a person, you--
GMtS: Whatever....go take care of the ring, and then get ready for your honey...er, vacation. Have a good time.
Firewoman considers all of this, and appears to be weighing her options. She smirks at Selena, and turns around and limps back toward the arena.
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 13, 2011 21:32:14 GMT -5
~~~ Texpress are WALKING~~!!!!!!! out of the Arena towards Zane's Mustang. Bridgette is at the car, ready to go, when one of the Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalists runs up behind them. ~~~
RNSFJ: Texpress! The Brass Knuckle Kings cost you a match tonight, and Next week you get a title match with them. What do you have to say?
Zane: (Turns to face her, smiling broadly) Championship Opportunity? In Dodge City, Kansas? (Cheap Pop in the Background)
RNSFJ: Yes!
Chad: FINALLY
Zane: (Continuing to smile broadly, very out of character) Thank you. We have a long drive ahead of us. Chad Let's go.
~~~ They walk to the car, Bridgette opens the trunk and takes the bag. Zane kisses her cheek and she looks bewildered at Chad as Zane climbs in ~~~
Bridgette: What was that all about? You lost. He should be pissed.
Chad: (Laughing) You'll see. Let's hit the road.
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 16, 2011 8:36:52 GMT -5
*We get a "Moments Ago" chryon, and we see Davin walking through the curtain still leaning heavily on Shawn Johnson. After a couple of pats on the back from passerbys in the gorilla position, Davin tries to keep walking to the locker room, but his knee eventually wins the battle. He hits the floor, and the force takes Shawn with him, Davin yells out, in obvious, obvious pain*
OGMSJ: *dusts herself off and gets to her feet* Come on. Get up.
DM: *breathing rapidly, trying to block the pain out* Give me a second, Shawn.
OGMSJ: Come on. Get to the locker room. Then you can slack.
DM: FUCK YOU, SHAWN!
OGMSJ: Oh, so now it's MY fault you're letting your pain run you?
DM: Yes.
OGMSJ: Fine. Then just fucking sit there. I want pizza rolls.
*She starts off toward catering*
DM: You're not supposed to have pizza rolls. You're in training.
OGMSJ: I can have-
DM: TRAINING!
OGMSJ: Get up.
DM: *tries a couple times, even using the wall*...will you help me up please?
OGMSJ: I'm sorry, what? *starts grinning*
DM: Can you please help me up, Shawn?
*She pulls and Davin is able to kind of get up, and leans on Shawn again as they limp toward the locker room. Right as they're getting to the door, they notice 2 Iowa State Troopers posted at the door*
IST1: Are you Davin Moreland?
OGMSJ: Who wants to know?!?
DM: I've got this, Shawn.
OGMSJ: ...
IST1: ...
IST2: ...
DM: Who wants to know?
IST2: Iowa State Police sir. We're here about your wife.
DM: My wife?
OGMSJ: What did she do now?
DM: SHAWN!
IST1: *smiles* No, nothing like that, Ms. Johnson.
DM: Is she ok?
IST2: Oh yeah, she's fine.
IST1: Kinda.
OGMSJ: ...
DM: ...
IST1: ...
IST2: ...
DM: So fucking glad I don't live here. What about my wife, Trooper?
IST1: Oh, right. Uh, well, like my partner here said, she's fine. But she's currently on a plane to Boston.
DM: Boston? Why?
OGMSJ: *starts running into the locker room* I'll get some stuff!
DM: Ok, what the fuck is going on?
IST2: Sir, it seems while you were preparing for tonight's show, your wife may have gone into labor.
DM: ALREADY??
IST1: Her, uh...hippie, there...she asked us to give you an escort to the airport, and she, I guess rented another jet for you two. We're here to get you to the airport.
IST2: Except, uh...
DM: We have to sit in the back of a squad car?
IST2: Right. That.
DM: Well, you haven't mirandized us, so either this is an elaborate entrapment sting or you guys are on the level?
IST1: Oh, it's no sting. We love Ms. Johnson.
IST2: *curious* Why would this be a sting?
DM: No reason. SHAWN! GET A MOVE ON! YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO CATCH UP!
*One of the troopers stays behind for Shawn while Davin takes off running (limping) to the parking lot. There are already fans there, and they seem a little put off that he's not signing autographs. However, some of the less-stupid ones figure it out when they see Shawn with a couple of carry-on bags behind her (as well as the trooper). The camera cuts as we go to commercial which I'm not going to put in here.*
*fade*
*fade back in to the Jet, somewhere over, well, flyover country. Davin is rocking back and forth like a crazy person - wiping himself off with a towel Shawn brought. SHE is trying to calm Davin down some, but she's sort of amped herself.*
DM: Fuck...Are we there yet?
OGMSJ: No, we're not there yet. Stop that.
DM: CAN'T THIS THING GO ANY FASTER?
Pilot (from the front): Not without a solid rocket booster!
DM: AREN'T YOU FUNNY?? This fucking jet sucks. This would be like, the Moosehead Jack Jet.
OGMSJ: Davin, he's going as fast as he can.
Pilot (Over the PA): Seatbelts! Got a priority clearance! Hot Dog!
OGMSJ/DM: Hot Dog? Seriously?
DM: I can't believe you're from Iowa.
OGMSJ: HEY! Iowans are GREAT people. Honest, trustworthy-
DM: And dumb. So basically, you're telling me that Iowa is populated by golden retrievers?
OGMSJ: Do I look like a Golden Retriever to you?
DM: The hair fits.
OGMSJ: WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP, ASSHOLE?
DM: Hey Pilot, make sure there's a cab there to meet us, ok?
Pilot: I gotta call somebody?
DM: CAB! CALL ONE!
Pilot: You're the boss.
*The plane touches down, and before the plane's to a full stop, Davin and Shawn come flying down the steps into a waiting cab*
Cabbie: Where ya headed, buddy?
DM: Brighamnwomens - and Floh it!
Cabbie: Be the-ya in 10, man.
OGMSJ: 10 minutes?
DM: Usually takes 20 *he smiles*. Hey buddy, if a Statie pulls you ovah, give him this.
*He hands the cabbie a business card of some kind*
C: Is this what I think it is?
DM: Yeah. Free pass.
C: PISSAH!
DM: I know, right?
*We fade out again to a commercial*
*Fade back in to Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, and the chryon says "Live". Davin is tearing down a hallway, with Shawn trailing pretty far behind. He checks a room and dives inside. We see Samantha on the bead, with Moonbeam and Robin Moreland on each side of her holding a hand. There's a doctor too. Robin smiles and stands aside as Davin takes her place*
DM: Of COURSE you couldn't have waited.
SDM: *panting* Now is REALLY not the time.
DM: ...
SDM: ...
RM: Moonbeam, why don't we, uh, get some cold drinks?
SFJ420: Beer?
RM: I don't think they sell beer at Brigham's.
SFJ420: Aww man.
*They leave, leaving the doctor, Samantha and Davin*
DM: You ok?
SDM: Yeah...I didn't...uh...expect...
DM: Obviously.
SDM: And it FUCKING HURT...for a while.
DM: Now?
SDM: Meh. Feels fine now.
DM: Epidural, Doc?
D: A-yup.
DM: Smart Move.
D: We're kinda close here, kids. You ready Sam?
SDM: *suddenly looks nervous and looks at Davin* I think so.
DM: *smiles* You're ready.
SDM: *smiles* Did you win?
DM: 'Course I won.
SDM: Good.
DM: Got you, didn't I?
*Camera pulls back as we fade for the final time*
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 16, 2011 8:37:31 GMT -5
Firewoman comes hobbling back in from ring tear down. She flops down on the couch, exhausted. Alexander comes in, nose bandaged, followed by Lucky, a flurry of activity.
FW: Hey, yeah, sorry about your match. For some reason the idiots Selena hired here don't understand how to take a ring down or fold things or --
AD: You know, I'm REALLY pissed about my loss--
FW: I know I'm sorry I ran late.
AD: And I'm REALLY pissed that Attitude Adjuster is back and attacked you.
Fw; Yeah, me too, but Selena...
AD: Look, Fire, all of that has me pissed too, but some things are more important. We have to leave now.
FW: Uh....really? But we're ... or at least I am supposed to go the next town to get set up and --
AD: Nope. Lucky's going to handle it. Get packed.
FW: I never unpa--
AD: Right, good, then you're ready, let's GO.
FW: Wow...you're really eager to go on our ho-- trip.
AD: No...well, yes, I am, but....we have to go to Boston first.
FW: Boston, Massachusetts?
AD: Huh? Yes, of course.
FW: Okay, why?
AD: Do you not...no, you've been working, of course you don't. Sammie's in labor, and been flown to a hospital in Boston.
FW: Boston, Massachusetts?
AD: What? Yes, Boston, Massachusetts. Anyway, the whole family is heading there, and I want to go meet my new nephew.
FW: Or niece.
AD: Or niece.
FW: The whole family?
AD: Far as I know. Not sure who's speaking to whom on the Darling side, but I imagine Davin's mom will be there.
FW: Okay, well, just call me when you're on your way to Aruba and--
AD: Don't be ridiculous, you're coming too.
FW: No, this is something that family is--
AD: I really don't have time for your insecurities right now. You ARE family.
FW: Davin won't want me there.
AD: Fuck Davin. I want you there. And I'm pretty sure Sammie will too.
Fire looks down, blinking a lot.
AD: I know...but this is a good thing. Then we'll fly out of Boston to get to Aruba, okay?
FW: Boston, Massachusetts?
AD: Why do you keep saying that?
FW: It's a gag from M*A*S*H.
AD: I hate that show.
FW: I know. Well, I'll need to pack.
AD: You never unpack.
FW: I unpack a few things. It won't take long.
Firewoman goes into their room, while Alexander paces. She comes back out with a smaller bag and something small, pink, and fuzzy in her hand.
FW: Where's Lexie?
AD: She went on ahead. I wanted to wait for you.
FW: You did?
AD: Why does that still surprise you?
FW: Just does.
AD: What is that?
Fire holds up a small stuffed pink elephant.
AD: I thought you got rid of all that stuff?
FW: I kept this. For Sam. And....To Be Announced.
Alex touches the toy and nods.
AD: *quietly* She'll love it. And when the time is right, so will we, okay? *Fire nods* Good, let's go already....off to Boston!
FW: Massa--
AD: Stop.
They rush out of the room, and turn out the lights.
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 16, 2011 8:38:08 GMT -5
COLD OPEN on announcers Tom Tucker and Joyce Kinney wearing orange sport coats with an OOWF patch over the pocket. They’re sitting at a desk in a television studio. A graphic between them reads “OOWF Newsbreak”.
ToTu: “Good day everyone and welcome to OOWF Newsbreak here on OOWF-TV. Today’s Newsbreak is sponsored by Aquafina and Pampers. Joyce?”
JK: “Thank you, Tom. Our first story tonight: Davin Moreland, the only OOWF Six-Pack Champion in federation history, is currently by the side of his wife, Samantha Darling-Moreland, in Boston...”
Firewoman: (from somewhere on her way to the East Coast) “Massachusetts.”
JK: “...where they are expecting their first child. No word yet on whether Mrs. Darling-Moreland has given birth. We’ll keep you up to date on this story as further details are available. Tom?”
ToTu: “Here are the results from last night’s Midweek Mayhem. The aforementioned Davin Moreland defeated newcomer CC Scott; J-P Sparxx over JW Westgaard; Evans and Folz defeated Texpress after interference from Eric O’Mac and Mai Muyo and Moosehead Jack wrestled to a time-limit draw during their Onslaught Rules match.”
JK: “Also last night The Night Marchers defeated the Brass Knuckle Kings via disqualification, Stank defeated OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Alexander Darling, and finally we have new OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champions: Regicide and The Crusher Stan Fulton.
ToTu: “Last night our own Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa caught up with the new champions.”
CUT to videotape interview from right after the event Wednesday night.
TiTa: “Good evening. I’m Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa, here with new Campeonas de Trios champions, Regicide’s LD Williams and Tytan and their partner Stan Fulton.
“LD, this is your first Trios title. How are you feeling right now?”
LDW: “How am I feeling? I’m feeling great, Tricia. I’m Campeonas de Trios with my friends, Tytan and Stan Fulton. We went out there and showed Drink and Destroy that we are the better team.”
TiTa: “Tytan this is your second go-‘round with the Trios titles. Any difference from then to now?”
Ty: “It was a different time back then, Tricia. Poe, Eric and I only held the titles for about two weeks. That’s going to be different this time. We don’t plan on giving these up. To no one. That includes Drink and Destroy next week.”
TiTa: “Finally, Stan Fulton.”
SF: “Tricia.”
TiTa: “You are now the only man in the OOWF to currently be holding two titles, the Campeonas de Trios and the Intercontinental title. What are your thoughts right now?”
SF: “Tricia, I’m humbled. Truly. That these two men by my side trusted me enough to work with them and have their backs. That I’m working with them and two other OOWF legends in Moosehead Jack and Stank. And finally that I’m two-thirds of the way towards being the quickest Six-Pack Champion in this company’s history. Soon I’ll be wearing Davin Moreland’s shirt to get him over.”
TiTa: “Regicide and Stan Fulton, your new Campeonas de Trios champions. I’m Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa, OOWF Television, Ottumwa Iowa.”
CUT back to Tom and Joyce in the studio.
ToTu: “Thank you, Tricia. Coming up on the next OOWF Newsbreak, Joyce dresses like a clown to scare Stan Fulton.”
Joyce looks daggers at Tom.
ToTu: “Good night for OOWF-TV.”
FADE
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 16, 2011 8:38:55 GMT -5
After the interview, Stan heads with his titles back to his locker room.
As he turns the corner into the Hallway of odd Reunions, a familiar face greets him.
RB: Fulton, I...
SF: Aren't you supposed to be off with the Diva show somewhere?
Ravenna bites her tongue for a moment before speaking up.
RB: I suppose I deserve that. Look, I've been keeping an eye on you. And I'm really proud of you. You've done so well and I am happy that you've made it this far.
SF: Okay. Thanks I guess. What's that catch?
RB: I couldn't...hack it here. The violence, the death...I felt isolated and I was loosing my mind here.
SF: You know you don't have to give excuses to me.
RB: What I want is to apologize for abandoning you. I bailed to save my own skin. Look, can we go get a drink?
Stan shrugs and they head down the hallway as the camera fades out.
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 16, 2011 8:39:29 GMT -5
*Fade in to the locker room in the Twin Galaxies Arena in Ottumwa, Iowa, where we find El Lobo Sangriento SITTING~! quietly, collecting his thoughts. Since there’s no SFJs around, and the rest of the roster seems to be elsewhere, I’m hoping Lobo starts thinking out loud. Otherwise, this is going to be a pretty boring promo…
ELS: Thank you, Voiceover Guy. I can take it from here. (to camera) Wolfpack, it’s been a while since we chatted, just you and me. It’s been a crazy ride for me since I got to the OOWF. I’ve fought jobbers and I’ve fought legends. I’ve even fought Kamala a couple of times. I’ve won some and I’ve lost some, but through it all, I was chasing a dream: to win the Onslaught Championship. And now I’ve done it. And defended the title.
ELS: I have to say, it’s an amazing feeling to be an OOWF champion. It’s something I’ve been working toward since my training in Mexico. After I won the Onslaught title, I said that nothing would change. That I’d work as hard to defend the title as I did to win it, and I hold to those words. I don’t intend to lose this title to Psykle or Sparxx or even the one and only MooseHead Jack. As I’ve said, I’ll defend my title against anyone at any time. That’s a message to the entire roster. You want this? Come get it.
ELS: Wolfpack out.
*FADE*
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 16, 2011 8:39:56 GMT -5
*The OOWF-TV feed stops running live and shows a simple slide of an article from page C-9 from the 7/14/11 Boston Globe. It's a picture of a cute, bald, goofy-looking infant (like they all are, except they're not all bald, but you get it)*
Harper Michelle "Mickie" Moreland
Harper Michelle "Mickie" Moreland was born this morning, July 14th, 2011 at 2:18 AM in Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, weighing 7 lbs. 11 oz., measuring 23.5"; to parents Davin Moreland and Samantha Darling-Moreland, of Mashpee, Massachusetts. Her Grandparents are Robin Moreland of Cummaquid, Massachusetts and Mr. and Mrs. Julian Darling of West Palm Beach, Florida. Davin Moreland is a professional wrestler in the OOWF promotion. Samantha Darling-Moreland is the CEO for Davin Moreland Enterprises.
*a "Congratulations" chryon appears as an overlay before fade*
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 16, 2011 8:40:54 GMT -5
*Stank is driving Moose's Shelby Mustang. LD Williams sits in the passenger seat and Moose sits longways across the back seat, such as it is. The windows are down as they cruise along at 85 miles per hour along the highway.*
Stank - I hope Tytan doesn-
LDW - WHAT!?
Stank - I SAID I HOPE TYTAN- you know what, I'm putting up the windows.
LDW - WHAT!!??
*Stank hits the button and the windows slowly roll up.*
Stank - Tytan-
LDW - WHAT!!?
Stank - What the fuck is wrong with you?
LDW - WHAT!!?
Stank - Is this an Austin thing?
MHJ - It better not be.
LDW - I'm just kidding guys, geez. Lighten up a little.
Stank - You're in a good mood.
LDW - We won the Trios belts.
Stank - Yeah, congrats.
LDW - Thank you. What were you saying about Tytan?
Stank - Nevermind I see him coming up in my rearview mirror.
*Tytan comes flying past on a Harley Davidson. He waves as he passes by.*
Stank - He looks like he's having fun.
LDW - Just got a text from Davin. Check it out.
*Stank glances over and sees the picture of the new Moreland baby.*
LDW - Kind of makes you wanna settle down.
MHJ/Stank - NO!
LDW - Again... I was kidding.
Stank - Moose your car is pulling a little to the left.
MHJ - I noticed. We'll get it squared away when we get to Dodge City.
Stank - Heard from your sister?
MHJ - Why would I-
Stank - Because she's your sister Moose.
MHJ - Don't start with me.
Stank - I just want to know where she and our esteemed World Champion are going on their... excursion. Cause I don't believe for a second they're headed for Aruba.
MHJ - Why the fuck do you think she would tell me?
Stank - I'm just asking.
MHJ - Well I don't know. If I did I'd tell you.
*Stank now notices LD has been staring at him for the last 30 seconds.*
Stank - What?
LDW - Nothing.
Stank - Why are you staring at me?
LDW - I'm not staring.
Stank - Bullshit.
LDW - Really, I'm not.
Stank - Yeah, okay. Someone wanna call Crusher and let him know where we'll meet him?
LDW - I'll call him.
MHJ - Wait, wait. This car has a voice activated system. Hit the button there on the steering wheel and say "dial Stan Fulton".
Stank - Dial Stan Fulton.
MHJ - You have to hit the button first.
Stank - Ooops... Dial Stan Fulton.
VAS - *beep* Dial Dan Hilton? *beep*
Stank - Who the fuck is Dan Hilton?
VAS - *beep*I'm sorry. I do not recognize "whothefuckisdanhilton" please repeat.*beep*
MHJ - Dan Hilton is a guy I know. Just say "cancel".
Stank - Cancel.
VAS - *beep* Dan Sole? *beep*
Stank - CANCEL!
VAS - *beep* I do not recognize "CHANTEL!" please repeat. *beep*
Stank - I didn't say Chantel bitch, I said CANCEL GOTDAMMIT!
VAS - *beep* Do not curse at me. *beep*
Stank - Are you fucking kidding me? Did this fucking car just tell me not to curse?
LDW - Like asking the sun not to burn, eh?
Stank - Shut up.
MHJ - Just hit the button again.
Stank - Dial Stan Fulton.
VAS - *beep* Dialing... Hiromi Ishikawa. *beep*
MHJ - NO! CANCEL THAT!
Stank - Cancel bitch!
VAS - *beep* Dialing. *beep*
MHJ - Fuck! Hit the button.
LDW - Who's Hiromi Ishikawa?
MHJ - Don't worry about it.
HI - Moshi Moshi.
MHJ - Ah damn it. Hi Hiro it's Jack. Sorry I accidently dialed you.
HI - Oh... Hiya Jack. You in Japan?
MHJ - No. I'm in the States. I'll call back later okay? Bye.
HI - Siyonara.
*Moose reaches over and taps end call on the navigation screen.*
MHJ - Was that so hard, shit.
Stank - You said hit the button. You didn't say the touchscreen.
MHJ - Well I meant the touchscreen. Now questions are going to be asked!
Stank - He probably won't remember. What's it like 2 o'clock in the morning over there?
MHJ - He's not in Japan.
Stank - Oh...
MHJ - Don't ask.
Stank - Okay.
VAS - *beep* Dialing Ric Flair. *beep*
MHJ - REALLY Stank?!
Stank - I swear that wasn't me.
Fade
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 16, 2011 8:41:26 GMT -5
Cut to the Moreland family home in Popponesset. Assorted Darlings and Morelands are there when Alexander and Firewoman arrive, having flown overnight to get there. Alexander goes on it, but Firewoman hangs back.
AD: Would you come on, already?
Mrs. M: Alex! Lisa!!! So good to see you both. Come in, come in...the new family is getting all settled. So nice of you to make the time before your trip.
AD: I gotta see my nephew.
FW: Niece. I keep telling you...
Mrs M: She's right, Alex. Niece.
AD: She is....how did you know that?
FW: *shrugs* Doesn't everyone just know it?
Alexander looks at Fire with amazement, while Mrs. Moreland escorts them in and prattles away. Firewoman looks around, sizing up the exits or something. Or she's looking for someone. Mrs. Moreland comes up along side and whispers.
Mrs.M: She's not here, dear. Davin made it very clear. In fact I haven't seen her since before your...um, news...I'm sorry to hear that, dear.
FW: Yeah, well, it's for the best.
MrsM: Sure, dear...keep up the pretense...we'll talk later...Okay, here we are! Sammie, Davin...Lisa and Alex are here to see you.
Davin and Samantha barely acknowledge them because they are having their own conversation. Alexander goes on in, but again, Firewoman hangs back.
SDM: Davin...
DM: What is it? Are you ok? Is Mickie ok?
SDM: Jesus fucking Christ Davin, here. Take Mickie. Leave me alone for like 15 minutes, would ya?
DM: What if I drop her?
SDM: You're not going to drop her. Here. hands Mickie to Davin Go show Mickie the Living Room or something. And have someone get me a drink, would ya?
DM: But the breast mil-
SDM: ONE FUCKING DRINK OR THERE WILL BE A HOMICIDE!
DM: Ah. Hormones. Got it.
SDM: I will show you fucking hormones if you don't LEAVE ME ALONE FOR 15 MINUTES.
DM: Ok, ok. Going.
SDM: Love you :-)
Davin leaves, holding the baby like it was made of glass. Fire looks at the ceiling, and Alex goes to follow him out.
SDM: Fire...good to see you....did you bring a drink?
FW: Um, no, sorry, I didn't think about that.
SDM: Shouldn't you be on your way?
FW: Yeah, we're leaving after ... Alex wanted to say hi.
SDM: Are you okay?
FW: Geez, Sam, of course I'm okay. I didn't just pop a kid out.
SDM: I know! I mean...first, the drugs they gave me were fantastic, but even with that...wow....
FW: Oh...brought you this....
Fire hands her the elephant
SDM: Aw......*Samantha starts to tear up...hormones, you know*...it's so cute.......
FW: Yeah, I had ordered it for....before. Anyway, now someone can use it.
SDM: *thinks for a minute* Harper will just borrow it, okay? Then when she has a cousin, she'll give it back.
FW: Um...yeah, okay.....
SDM: Okay, yourself. I REALLY do want that drink.
Fire smiles
FW: You know, I read a LOT of books before, and I'm not getting it for you.
SDM: Bitch.
FW: But I'll get Lexie to.
SDM: ....okay.
Firewoman leaves and goes out to where Alexander is holding Mickie.
FW: I think she's too young for you.
AD: Hush...that's not funny.
DM: Here, Fire, have a cigar. Want to hold her?
FW: Uh, no.....I'll pass.
DM: Oh come on...I haven't dropped her yet, you'll be great.
FW: Davin, really....
Mrs.M: Davin, hush....Lisa, come with me, I have your favorite tea.
Mrs. Moreland and Firewoman go into the parlor and Mrs. Moreland shuts the door. Alexander and Davin continue cooing over the baby, and we fade on the happy.
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 16, 2011 8:41:55 GMT -5
We cut to the Destroyatorium, where DDT and OBJ are sitting at a table going over last nights match. Danny is making the motion of a swinging axe handle and frowning.
OBJ: (belches) That's Australian for no big surprise mate. It's one of Stan's go to moves. We really should have seen it coming.
Danny continues to frown but nods in agreement. He bumps his knuckles together.
OBJ: Yeah, good thing we don't have to wait long for a rematch. We will be ready for it this time, and things will go differently.
Danny nods in agreement as Ashley comes over and places a round on the table.
Ashley: Spencer sent me a text, Sammie had a girl.
Both Jack and Danny raise there mugs.
OBJ: Well congrats to the happy couple.
The two clink beers and down them. Danny makes the motion of texting and then the outline of a heart.
Ashley: Sure, I'll send them your love.
Danny smiles as she sends the message.
OBJ: Back to the match this week. We need to be prepared for Stan possibly bringing his sheila to the ring with him.
voice: I don't think it will make a difference.
The camera pans back and we see DVD has entered the room. Danny nods to him, and Vic joins them at the table.
OBJ: Well yeah, she won't be directly involved in the match, but got to be ready for everything anyways.
DVD: No Jack, I mean, I don't think we have a shot at winning right now.
Danny looks shock at this, and Jacks eyes narrow.
OBJ: Turning your back on us?
DVD: Never. I'm just looking at the facts. Fact One, Stan and Regicide have been working as a unit. Fact Two, they have been training hard and studying tape of us. Fact Three, they have communicated outside of the ring to better mesh there styles in ring. Fact Four, and the most important fact of all, We have not.
Ashley: That's not true. We have watched tons of tape. (she motions to the boys) They have been tossing kegs and hitting the makeshift ring. We train just as hard as they do.
DVD: No you and Jack and Danny do (makes air quotes) WE don't.
Danny makes the sign language symbols for D and H.
DVD: Exactly, DH hasn't had his head in the game for a while. I know he came back to help us out when we needed him most, and he has been a hell of a friend, but what has changed in him.
OBJ: Look mate. Mags is a tough bastard. He may have hit a rough patch, but he will bounce back.
DVD: Like Spin did?
Everyone gets quite at this, and Danny shoots a disapproving look at Vic.
OBJ: Don't go there mate.
DVD: (throwing his hands up in surrender) That came out wrong. Look as much as I would love to get the trios belts back, I'm more concerned about keeping our friend around. You and Spin reached out to me and Danny when we needed help, and we will always appreciate that. When he needed, I didn't, and I will always regret that.
OBJ: Mags and Spin are different guys.
DVD: I know, but I won't make the same mistake again. Mags has been a ghost, barely around during down time. Showing up just for shows. He doesn't train, he doesn't promo. We have let it happen, focusing on the tag team part of the group and leaving him alone.
Ashley: Sometimes people need space.
DVD: And sometimes they need to talk with their friends. After I was shot, I watched us come together in a way as never before. You girls dragged me to safety as the boys literally took on an army to buy us time. I don't want it to just be tragedies that bring us together like that. I promise I will never not try to help a friend again.
Everyone sits in silence for a minute as this soaks in.
DVD: Look guys, I'm sorry, I'm not really good at expressing emotions....
Danny reaches out and puts a sympathetic arm on his shoulder. Ashley smiles softly and slides a drink over to him.
OBJ: No harm mate. We get it. Look I'll give Mags a call and see if we can't get him in here to talk.
DVD: Thanks Jack. But don't pressure him. If he needs time, we give it to him. The titles are important, but not more than any person in this group. I may not always show that, but I always feel it.
Both Ashley and Danny smile at this.
OBJ: We know mate, we know.
FADE
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 16, 2011 8:42:34 GMT -5
GM Selena is on the phone in her office.
GMSa-T: Yes, I want the biggest teddy bear you have. I want the card to read "Welcome to the World Harper! What do you want?"
Noelani is standing over Selena's desk.
GMSa-T: No, no! Cut that last part off. No, everything after Harper, d'uh! Fine! Build a Bear can get a free commercial spot, lemme transfer you to...whatever that guy is called, hang on.
Selena presses a button on her phone and hangs it up.
GMSa-T: See what ya made me do?? Don't you knock anyway or do you actually live in tiki hut?
Noe: You've seen my apartment.
GMSa-T: It was a joke, d'uh. What do you want?
Noe: I want to lodge a complaint.
GMSa-T: Okay, what?
Noe: Uh, hello? Our match keeps getting cut from the Midweek Mayhem broadcasts!
GMSa-T: Oh, that. Yeah, that sucks.
Noe: It's REALLY hard to build up any credibility when we're not even on television. Not that we really seemed to have any in the first place...
GMSa-T: There were time constraints and they just don't seem to keep track of who gets cut...ya know what? That DOES suck. It's like breach of contract or something.
Noe: It is. Maybe we should review our contract?
GMSa-T: Maybe you...wait...no?
Noe: Yes, I think we should. Maybe we should review our options.
GMSa-T: Crap, crap, crap. Fine. We'll set up a contract review for Kai and Aina.
Noelani smiles.
Noe: Mahalo, Selena. Aloha,
Noelani walks out of Selena's office as Selena smacks herself in the forehead.
GMSa-T: Stupid, stupid! Me and my big mouth. I blame Build a Bear
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 16, 2011 8:43:00 GMT -5
**L.D., Stank and Moose are still travelling. Drink and Destroy’s promo plays on L.D.‘s cell phone.**
M:<dripping sarcasm> “Awww, isn’t that sweet? On a Very Special Episode, the boys learn a lesson in caring.”
LDW: <chuckles> “I hope they do get it together. I want to beat them at their best next week.”
M: “Unless Outback ends your career.”
LDW: “I believe he said he was coming for you first.”
M: “Triangle Taipai Death Match?”
S: “I’d pay to see that.”
LDW: “I was thinking Onslaught rules, actually.”
M: “Shut up.”
S: “You know, that win gave you more than just the Trios Title...”
LDW: “Yeah, but Davin is focused on more important things right now. Let’s not distract him.”
S: “I just hope the kid gets her mother’s looks.”
M: “And brains, and sanity, and ego, and-”
<fade>
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 16, 2011 8:43:33 GMT -5
~~~ Zane Myers is seen walking backstage talking on his cell phone. ~~~
Zane: ... Yeah. I'm certainly glad to hear it. ........... Oh No problem. .... Yes She did. She's good at that kind of thing.......... Great News, Dad ........... Hey get used to it. .................... Yes Anyway, apologies again for not making the trip and Serious Congratulations in order. Give Her a kiss from us when you can. ..... You know me, we've been watching tape on them since we got here. ............. Heh. No, she hasn't even brought it up yet. See you later on
~~~ He ends the call and walks into the Texpress Dressing Area. Chad jumps off the trampoline while Bridgette sits at a table on her computer. ~~~
Zane: Just talked to Davin
Bridgette: Ooooooh How is everyone? Did they get the bouquet & gifts I sent? How's Sam?
Zane: Good, Yes and As good as can be expected. He seemed still in shock about the whole thing.
Bridgette: I would think so. Having a child is a life changing event.
Chad: I sure hope I don't have any kids out there
~~~ Dead silence ensues. Zane and Bridgette stare at each other ~~~
Chad: ..... I mean, .... I'm always careful...... but still....... I wouldn't want......
Zane: The thought of Little Chad Madisons out there scares me to death
Bridgette: Me Too
Chad: Me too
Zane: Change of subject time.
Chad: Thank you. I was thinking we should watch some more BKK matches.
Zane: Actually, I just talked to Lucky.
Chad: He's not dead? Or in Jail?
Zane: No, and with Alexander and Firewoman gone for the time being, he agreed to do sone analysis for me. How often we go for certain moves vs the rection time involved vs BKK's reaction times to similar moves grouped by category.
Chad: Ummmm... was that in English?
Zane: Shut up. It will help. Trust Me ((c)Moosehead Jack 2005)
Chad: Will you stop doing that. It creeps me out.
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 16, 2011 11:56:12 GMT -5
~~~ We see DDT Ironman Heavy Metal Champion Justin Sane sitting in Ric's, eating a Dagwood Special Sandwich. He takes a huge bite and is chewing when Chad Madison and Zane Myers walk up, trays in hand. ~~~
Zane: Justin, you mind?
~~~ Justin waves his hand, inviting Texpress to sit ~~~
Chad: Say man, you've been especially quiet lately. What gives?
Justin: (swallowing) Well, you see, it turns out, the entertainment factor in chasing the championship greatly outweighs the entertainment factor in actually winning and defending said championship. I find myself without the proper motivation to do much at the current point in time.
~~~ Chad and Zane stare at Justin ~~~
Zane: That.... was surprisingly verbose.
Chad: No kidding. I mean this is JUSTIN SANE we're talking too, not dictionary breath.
Justin: Sorry guys, I just don't know what's wrong with me. I just.... feel..... different.
Zane: I think I can help (grabs Chad's cell phone and fires off a quick text)
Justin: Really? Wait, You're not calling Dr. Freedman are you?
~~~ Zane nearly chokes on his sandwich, causing Chad to laugh ~~~
Chad: (grabbing his phone back) Not likely
~~~ They sit and eat in silence for a few moments, when the dining room door bursts open and Comrade Sharkoff makes a beeline for Justin & Texpress ~~~
Once again, Fat Americans are shoveling food in their mouths rather than out doing a hard day's labor. Comrade Sharkoff has already set up arena chairs and entrance platform. Comrade Sharkoff has unloaded truck of equipment for the sounds. What have you done?
Justin: (standing up, and turning red with anger) I've waiting..... TO WHOOP YOU'RE ASS!
~~~ and Justin HURLS himself at Shakroff, tumbling to the floor. CHad, Zane and the few scattered patrons pick up their trays and head for the other side of the room as Sharkoff and Sane smash each other with salt shakers, chairs and a potted plant. Sharkoff grabs Justin and hurls him into the salad bar, spilling lettuce and croutons everywhere. Justin sits up and Sharkoff gets a running start... KICK TO THE HEAD WITH THE LOADED ARTIFICIAL FOOT! Sharkoff makes a cover and Chad Madison slides in to make the count 1...2....3 Winner! and NEW DDT Ironman Heavy Metal Champion, Comrade Sharkoff
Chad and Zane help Justin to his feet as Sharkoff leaves with the belt, scowling at everyone. ~~~
Chad: Man, thats was one heck of a fight. You ok?
Justin: I feel GREAT! Thanks guys. (Turns to the camera) Ruskie, You should know this, I will not rest until I get MY TITLE Back! You will FEEL THE WRATH OF THE DOUGHAWK!!
~~~ And with that Sane rushes out of the dinnig room with that wild look back in his eyes ~~~
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2011 18:07:47 GMT -5
*OBJ and DDT are in the Destroyitarium*
OBJ: Moose, LD, Stank, the rest of you bastards, you want to call us out? He's silent, I'm violent. Danny and I will take you on anytime. It's not my fault you guys have dodged me - I've never backed away from a fight - I've never hid behind a manager, owner, commissioner, faction, or whatever, unlke virtually every other wrestler in the OOWF, and neither has my partner. Outback Jack and Danny Taylor will kick ass and take names, and if you don't like it, the complaint department is located in the Destroyitarium, and you can file your complaints with me!
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2011 18:08:14 GMT -5
We're on IQ's private jet, apparently on our way to Dodge City. Psykle is sitting up in the back of the plane, seemingly fuming with a quiet rage. IQ is talking on his cell phone, finishes his conversation, hangs up and walks over to Psykle. Out of no where, IQ smacks Psykle across the face.
IQ: WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!? HUH? WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!?
Psykle: Not to use just my brute strength, but to use my mind too.
IQ: AND DID YOU?
Psykle: No...not until the very end when we got caught up in the reversals.
IQ: AND WHAT HAPPENED?
Psykle: I lost.
IQ: WHAT?
Psykle: I LOST!
IQ: And now look. You're back where you were two weeks ago, in a three way match with Sparxx and Lobo, only this time, the title isn't even on the line. You do realize that if you don't win this match, you'll be finished in the Onslaught division. You'll go right back to the bottom of the barrel and never find your way out. You know what I'll have to do then, don't you?
Psykle: No...
IQ: Yes, you do. I'll have to call HIM, and have you two team up to be in the tag division so you can save whatever scraps of credibility you have left.
Psykle: I can do this, boss. I can. Just let me use the technical wrestling skills you've taught me. Please?
IQ: You want to use the technical skills? You want to show the mat wrestling techniques I've trained you in?
Psykle: Yes.
IQ: You think you've earned that right?
Psykle seems to be getting a little annoyed at this point.
Psykle: Yes.
IQ: Really?
Psykle stands up angry and starts to tower over IQ.
Psykle: I THINK IT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS THAT I HAVE TO KEEP RELYING ON JUST MY POWER WHEN YOU AND I BOTH KNOW I HAVE SO MUCH MORE!
IQ: Hmmm...you may finally be learning my point.
Psykle gets a look of confusion on his face.
Psykle: What?
IQ: All your life, you've relied on just your power. You've always been the big man, ever since that growth spurt in the 5th grade made you the biggest guy in your class. All along, all through your life, what have you done? You've been a bully, an enforcer, a fighter, a bodyguard, and a wrestler. But what have all of those combined? Use of your brute force. Have you been successful in any of those aside from when your rage consumed you?
Psykle sits down, somewhat dejected. He's beginning to realize IQ is right.
Psykle: No. I haven't been.
IQ: Now look at me, I've used my intellect my entire life to get me where I am and I've always been successful.
Psykle: Yes.
IQ: So, now you're ready to listen finally I think. Get some rest. We'll train up some more in the arena training room I have set up for us.
Psykle goes to lie down in his chair, while IQ heads to the front of the plane, and pulls out his phone.
IQ: It's me. He's ready....yea, I think he's going to be ready to use it. I might just sit in on commentary to describe it....
Fade to black.
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2011 18:08:54 GMT -5
*OBJ's eyes roll up in his head and Back of Beyond Jack takes over*
BBJ: LD Williams, Moosehead Jack, I haven't forgotten about Gator Bait.
*OBJ's eyes roll up again and Jack of the Hinterlands takes over*
JTH: We've got a lot of asses to kick, but we will get around to them all. Trust me!
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2011 18:09:28 GMT -5
<Moose, Stank and LD are at the Dodge City Arena waiting on Tytan and Fulton to show up, they watch OOWFtv and catch Jack's promos>
MHJ: Is he serious?
Stank: Didn't you and I nearly beat he and Danny to death?
MHJ: And me and LD.
Stank: <shaking his head> He can bring all the personalities he can muster to this fight, he will need every single fucking one of them if he thinks he is going to be the last one left standing. I may not be an original, but I am damn sure close enough
<LD downs his beer and lets out an epic belch>
MHJ: Goddamn!
LD: That was Canadian for bring it on Jack, we are not a hard bunch to find.....mate
<fade>
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2011 18:10:10 GMT -5
Kai is finishing a cup of...something and he tosses it into a trashcan near catering. He looks around. He notices the ninjacam. He smiles and then arches his eyebrow.
Kai: Finally! The Kai! Has come back! To Kansas!
Crowd cheers...wherever they are.
Kai: Actually, the Kai has never been to Kansas, for you see. The Kai has always been a little afraid of Kansas. Who wouldn't be afraid of Kansas with all your cornfields, your talking scarecrows, your flying monkeys and your red headed...
Kai grins to the camera and arches his eyebrow again.
Kai: Well, the Kai rather likes those. Regardless, the Kai comes to Kansas as a free agent. The Kai and his brother have been the victims...of the man. The man has bumped us down to the B show, the Kai on the B show!?! You can take your B show and stick it straight up! Your candy! Ass!
The crowd cheers.
Kai: The Kai and his brother are hot properties you see. We're wanted men. ROH, WWE, JPW, NWO, LMFAO, it doesn't matter! What your acronym is! The Night Marchers are here in OOWF! And we're here for a reason! We're here to be the best damn tag team this world has ever seen! And the Kai can not be the best he can be in some cockroach infested, dog poo smelling bingo hall frequented by your grandma and the retirement home gangbang squad!
Crowd cheers that for some reason.
Kai: The Kai...
Kai is interrupted by Noelani grabbing his arm.
Kai: What do you want?! Woman?!
Noe: Lolo, we have a meeting with a representative from ROH, now c'mo...
Kai: It doesn't matter! What you want!
Noe: Oh gods, not this...
Kai: Let the Kai ask you a question? You like questions?
Noelani begins to speak.
Kai: It doesn't matter!
Noe: Yeah, yeah, it doesn't matter what I like! What?
Kai: What?
Noe: WHAT?
Kai: Are you asking the Kai "what?"
Noe: What do you want to ask me?
Kai: The Kai wants to know if you're offering the Kai...pie.
Noelani gets an 'ew gross' look on her face.
Kai: The Kai doesn't want your pie, the Kai doesn't need your pie! That's as disgusting to the Kai as Mick Foley's unwashed, hairy ass!
Kai looks to the camera with another eyebrow arch.
Kai: Which the Kai has never seen.
Noe: Can we go, brah?
Kai: Let the Kai finish.
Noe: Fine.
Kai moves his head in a circle, clears his throat and then looks to the camera with 'the look.'
Kai: The Kai is not finished with the OOWF. He has mountains to climb, babies to kiss, bitches to smack and jabronis asses to kick! CC Scott and Predator, whoever in the blue hell you are, your candy asses are next!
Noe: That's Goldberg.
Kai: If ya smell! Lalalalalalow. What the Kai! Is. Cookin'!
Kai ends the promo with another eyebrow arch as Noelani grabs his arm and drags him off to the meeting.
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2011 18:10:47 GMT -5
*Stank is in GM theSelena's office.*
Stank - You wanted to see me?
GMtS - Yes! Omar's boys want to leave the OOWF and I need them to stay.
Stank -
GMtS
Stank -
GMtS - The Night Marchers?
Stank - OH! Okay... Uh... what do I have to do with this?
CtC - Juh, Juh, JUH,.... Juhjuh, Juh, Juh, juuuuuuuh...juh,juh...JUH!
Stank - Nobody asked you, Chuckles.
GMtS - Yeah Clown. Not now.
CtC - Juh.
*Stank lunges at Chuckles, but the clown beats a hasty retreat before Stank can get his hands on him. For some reason this puts a big smile on Selena's face.*
GMtS - Anyway... they're upset that their matches keep getting cut from the broadcast.
Stank - Understandible.
*Just then SFJ#15 walks in with mic in hand.*
GMtS - KICK ROCKS!
SFJ#15 -
GMtS - I said LEAVE, SKANK!
*Stank starts to get up out of his seat.*
GMtS - Not you Stankie, SKANKIE!
Stank - ?
SFJ#15 -
Stank - She's talking to you, Isabel.
*The sexy, female, journalist turns and walks out without saying anything.*
GMtS - How do you know her name?
Stank - It's a thing I do.
GMtS - I don't get it.
Stank - I would elaborate, but I'd rather we just continue with the meeting.
GMtS - Oh... yeah... Now My law dudes have scheduled a meeting with Noelani and The Night Marchers to review their contracts and they tell me that you wrote their last contract so... I want you to be there for the stupid meeting.
Stank - Nah ah.
GMtS - Not asking Stankie.
Stank - Selena...
GMtS - Don't argue with me Stankie, I like you.
Stank - I like you too Selena, but those days of doing contracts and working administration are over for me, sweetness.
GMtS - But that stuff is sooooooo BORING. I need you!
Stank - Selena I...
GMtS - I'll tell you where Fire and The Boy are going on vacation...
Stank - How do you know?
GMtS - It's a thing I do...
Stank - ... ... ...
*The scene cuts to outside the GM's office. Stank walks out and is immediately accosted by SFJ#15.*
Stank - Let me guess... my thoughts on my upcoming match with Peacock.
SFJ#15 -
Stank - Cat got your tongue?
SFJ#15 -
Stank - You related to Danny Taylor?
SFJ#15 -
Stank - Good question. Glad you asked.
*Stank rolls his eyes then turns toward the camera.*
Stank - There are theoretical physicists out there who believe that nothing exists until it is observed. Well Peacock... welcome to my existence. I see on the card that you and I are scheduled to compete.
So let me get this straight. You run your mouth about how I'm past my prime, how I'm part of the old guard, how I might need to "hang it up", how you won't hesitate to make an example out of me. You? Chris Evans? The Proud Peacock?
Son... you might have noticed that I beat our so called World Champion last week, a man who in my opinion, for all his faults, is miles ahead of you in talent. YOU... think that I... am done?
*Stank looks down and chuckles to himself. He then rubs his hands together, and looks back up at the camera.*
You say you respect my PAST accomplishments. You said that, right peacock? Oh yeah... fucking phenomenal career I've had... better than anything you could hope for. GOOD FOR YOU, CHRIS! You SHOULD respect my PAST accomplishments. Anyone with half a brain should respect my accomplishments.
I will admit. You are a talented individual... but for all your skill, for all your talent, for ALL your KING SHIT mentality... at Mayhem... I am going to show you the reality of my existence. I am going to teach you to respect my PRESENT... and that should give you some insight as to what my FUTURE holds... spoiler alert... Stank, the BEST EVER to grace GOD's squared circle, is your THREE TIME OOWF World... Champion!
Don't believe me?
Then you haven't been paying attention.
FADE
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2011 18:11:19 GMT -5
*Mai Muyo is SITTING~! on the jungle gym outside Sacred Heart Cathedral School in Dodge City, Kansas. She sits alone with a Bible. We split screen with an OOWF clip*
Mai: (looking up smiling) Hi Jack! Let's talk.
I want to talk to you about hypocrisy. Among your disparaging of my holy book and your sexualized profanation of my God's name, it's still probably the strongest word you used. Because this society hates hypocrites. We want honest men and women, people who say what they mean and mean what they say, even if we don't agree.
I think there's something sad about that. Because all things considered, I'd rather be a hypocrite. I'd rather strive for an ideal so good that I fall short, not lower the bar so much I can easily hurdle it.
You recognize that your parents were bad Catholics, otherwise you wouldn't use the word. Okay, good, I agree. I think you recognize the same thing about the priests--who, afterall, are fallen men like everyone else. So you’ll forgive me if I miss the jump in your logic. What about my religion breeds hate? What in my Bible, my story of the poor Savior who dies on the Cross, baptized by a man who subsisted on locusts and wild honey, told your family to beat their children for dirtying their Sunday finest? Was there any suffering, any tribulation in your life, Jack, which was justified by Mai Muyo’s magic book?
Let’s go further. You talk about the lies in this book. What promise was made to you in this book that is untrue? Who promised you immediate delivery from suffering, from pain? Perhaps you’re thinking of the Beatitudes, and the promise of comfort and solace in the next life…but why even keep looking ahead, Jack? You always conveniently end your stories too early. Maybe you’re not a millionaire, even though it seems implausible that you’re not—but Jack has his friends, his sister, and lives a comfortable life. But let’s go ahead and play pretend. Let’s go ahead and pretend the story ends where Jack is suffering. On this Harry Potter week, let’s go ahead and say that the soul of the Voldemort of Moosehead Jack is indeed a bloody, crying fetus under a park bench somewhere in the next life.
Let’s be clear, Jack: you know what good looks like. You can imagine what moral behavior looks like. And your picture, fundamentally, is a Christian one. We can argue all day about whether there is overlap with other belief systems; there likely is, and that speaks well to the truth of that morality. But when you think about why it’s wrong to abuse others, why you must maintain your obligations, why you must avoid addiction and self-harm, why it is wrong to remain silent in the face of evil—where are you getting these notions?
It’s certainly not to justify yourself, because you don’t live by this code. You admit you’re guilty of many of the sins of my brother—I’m skeptical that you’ve committed all of them, but let’s leave that aside. Is there something I’m supposed to find compelling or intimidating in the fact that you have no regrets? Because Jack, I think….well, I think it’s just sad. And a bit boring. In fact, it kind of sucks.
You really have no moral goals? No way in which you wish to be better? Jack, you’re better than that. You can obviously do better than that. Because if you don’t…why are you better than the priest who never stepped in? Just because you don’t care? You’re grading yourself on a curve for apathy? Why are you so much better than your father? Because you don’t believe you can be forgiven? Because you don’t want to be forgiven? Or is that you can’t see yourself as the priest, as your father, because you’re so used to seeing yourself as the victim?
*Mai looks down at her Bible, and flips through*
Mai: But of course, I’m talking too much. And you’re used to arguing with people who talk too much. So let’s make this a real conversation.
Why do you hate your father so much?
I know the answer should be obvious. But the details matter. Do you hate him for being violent toward you? You’re violent. Do you hate him for doing it to his child? Do you hate him for giving into drunkenness? Do you hate him for trying to repent—or do you hate him for believing he can repent? This is a question for you and you alone: Firewoman, I'm sure you hate Mr. Quinn as well and would like to upbraid me in the hallway for even raising the question, but I care about Jack's answer right now.
You asked if I want to make this personal. I do and I will. Answer the question for me, Jack. Go into as much detail as you want, let it all out. If you feel the need to blaspheme and curse me every third sentence as you do so, go ahead, you know not what you do.
“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel. A fool's anger is known at once, But a prudent man conceals dishonor.” I will conceal my dishonor—or, in other translations, ignore your insults, because I wish to listen to your counsel.
I will honestly listen, Jack. But please teach me.
FADE
|
|
|
|
Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2011 18:11:51 GMT -5
*Davin's House in Mashpee. We cut to Davin sitting on the couch watching OOWF-TV. It would appear he hasn't slept since the thing he's currently got a bottle stuck in it was born. As the clock on the far wall hits 3:30 AM; he watches the end of Mai's promo, and talks to the newborn as if she could talk back or something.*
DM: Is that good, Mickie?
MM: *suck suck suck*
DM: What am I saying? Of course it is. It's the best thing you've ever eaten.
MM: *suck suck suck*
DM: Of course, it's the ONLY thing you've ever eaten...
MM: *suck gurgle suck suck suck*
DM: *sigh* You don't hate me yet, right?
MM: *gurgle weirdnoise suck suck*
DM: Done?
*Mickie kills the bottle, and Davin throws the spit-up cloth on his shoulder so she can burp. He starts patting her back*
DM: *pat pat pat* Listen, I'll make you a deal, ok?
MM: ...
DM: *pat pat pat* Mommy and Daddy like deals. You do too.
MM: ...
DM: *pat pat pat* Just...trust me. You like deals.
MM: *weird noise*
DM: Ok good. How about...you promise not to hate me like Moose hates HIS father, no matter *pat pat pat* how bad I screw up...and I....
MM: ...
DM: *pat pat pat* *heavy sigh* ...I promise that I will keep an open mind when you bring boyfriends home.
MM: *weird noise*
DM: *pat pat pat* Ok, fine. I promise that you will COMPLETELY BELIEVE that I am keeping an open mind. I'll make your mother be the hard ass.
MM: *burrrrp*
DM: Good. Glad we could come to an agreement.
MM: *spits up*
DM: No sweetie, you don't need your lawyers to look anything over.
*Davin wipes her up and then wipes himself up, cause she kinda missed*
DM: Ok, it's late. You need to go to bed. You have a big day tomor---day.
MM: *sort of a whiny noise, but quick*
DM: No buts. You need to get at least a couple hours in before you wake your mother up.
*She sort of looks at him for a second before drifting off to probably sleep. It looks like she's smiling, but there's a 99% chance it's gas. Davin puts her in the bassinet in his room, looks at her for a second, shakes his head and climbs into the bed, where he gets in the proper position to sleep. Although, he's not going to.*
*fade*
|
|
