OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (08/10) Live! From Hiroshima,

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Hiroshima, Japan

<cut to Selena posting the card>

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
Texpress vs. Night Marchers

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
El Lobo Sangriento vs. Matt Folz

Attitude Adjuster vs. Honcho Williams

<Selena turns to the camera>

What about the rest of you? Well you will all find out Wednesday, it's time for Lethal Lottery! Heels teaming with Faces! Who can get along well enough to win? I pick the names, you wrestle each other! It is going to be AWESOME!

<camera fades to black>

[BookerShark]

The camera fades in on a darkened common area of the Darling Luxury Suites. We see Firewoman sitting on the couch with a blanket and pillow, the TV going. A sleepy Alexander Darling comes out, rubbing his eyes, and sits down next to her.

AD: Insomnia?

FW: Shoulda been a detective.

AD: That hasn't happened for at least a year.

FW: Yeah...it's this stupid city...I close my eyes...I see that mask....

AD: I know....

They sit in silence for a bit staring at the TV.

AD: What the hell is this?

FW: Robot Chicken. It's awesome.

AD: It's in Japanese, how do you know?

FW: It doesn't matter Alex, I've just got it on. I keep thinking about my "match."

AD: Oh...yeah....What did Selena say.

FW: Selena.....*in mocking teenager voice* "Oh, like, maybe he like forgot."

AD: C'mon, she didn't say that.

FW: No, but apparently there was some travel fuck up or something, I dunno.....Still, a no show, is a no show.

AD: Really, kettle?

FW: Hey, that was almost ten years ago, and I think I had a pretty good excuse.

AD: True...maybe Attitude Adjuster got into an unsanctioned cage fight he wasn't allowed to be in, and then got stabbed and.......*Fire gives him a look*.....what, too soon?

FW: I don't think he was late for the flight at all. I think he's trying to get to me.

AD: I dunno, he's always been kinda flaky that way.

FW: No, but he's different now...that wasn't the same Attitude Adjuster as before....he's.......

AD: Different?

FW: Yeah....

AD: Okay, now you have me worried....

FW: What about?

AD: If it's chicken shit heel Attitude Adjuster talking about ruining careers, well, that's just talk. But what you're saying now is--

FW: Oh, I still don't believe for a second someone hired him. But.....

AD: Well, maybe we should call Eliot and--

FW: Absolutely not!

AD: Okay, okay, sheesh.

Fire lets a large yawn escape. Alexander notices and motions for her to put the pillow against him, so she does. He puts the blanket over her.

AD: Okay...close your eyes.

FW: Okay....oh...what time is it?

AD: Time to sleep.

FW: I need to visit the temple before we leave tomorrow.

AD: Oh right......I'll meet you at the bus then and--

FW: Or....you could come with me.

AD: Really? That's usually your time....

FW: *Yawns again* I know but....if you don't want to--

AD: No, no...I'll go. 'Bout time I see what all that's about anyway.

Silence falls. Fire appears to be drifting off.

FW: Alex?

AD: Go to sleep.

FW: About Stank...I know you're obsessed about the whole not beating him clean thing, but one thing you have to remember.

AD: What's that?

FW: He hasn't beaten you clean in this series either.

Alexander appears to think about this, and Firewoman drifts off. He checks and she's clearly, finally, asleep. He can't of course get into a comfortable position this way, so he stares at Robot Chicken in Japanese for a bit. He has a thought and gently reaches for his cell phone to not wake her, and sends a text.

FADE

[BookerShark]

Stank - Maybe it's nerves or the lack of sleep, whatever, but I did beat Alex clean. Sure it was a non-title match, but I beat him. I also had him beat in our last match... but you and I both know how that turned out... don't we Davis?

*Stank has his arm tight around a concerned looking Davis Hightower's shoulder.*

Stank - You look nervous Davis. Are you nervous?

DH - Just let me go, Stank.

Stank - What? You don't like my company?

DH - Look I called the match like I saw it.

Stank - When's the last time you had your eyes checked. I had Alex's shoulders pinned to the mat... hang on a sec.

*Stank's cell phone buzzes and he fishes it out of his pocket and looks at the display. He furrows his brow at what he sees and pushes Davis Hightower forcibly away from him.*

Stank - I'll settle up with you later Hightower. Tonight you live.

*Davis Hightower runs off as Stank dials a number on his cell.*

Stank - Shannon... you're in Japan?... ... you really get around... ... He's WHAT?... ... .. HE CAN'T BE HERE!.. ... I'm sorry... ... .... ... yeah... ... .. HE'S HERE TOO?... .... I'll be over in 10 minutes!

*Stank ends the call and walks off camera.*

FADE

[BookerShark]

The scene comes up in the Destroyatorium. For the first time in a while, we see Dynamite Danny Taylor, Outback Jack and DH Magnusson sitting at a table. A round of Fosters sits in front of OBJ, a round of Newcastle sits in front of DH, and several Appletinis sit in front of DDT. None of the men speak, they just keep eyeballing each other and sipping on their respective beverages. Small smiles begin to form on all three men's faces.

DH: So, Lethal Lottery.

OBJ: Yup, should be fun.

Danny nods his head in agreement. All three men lift their glasses, clink and down em. The scene pulls back and we see Ashley and DVD sitting at the bar.

DVD: If they end up on opposite sides of the ring Wednesday, they are going to beat the crap out of each other aren't they?

Ashley: I would say the odds are pretty good they will.

DVD: They are going to enjoy every minute of it as well.

Ashley: Yeah, that's what they do.

DVD: Then when the night is over, they will come back here and drink and laugh about it.

Ashley: Sounds about right.

DVD shakes his head in bemusement.

DVD: Man I am glad I'm not a wrestler.

Ashley: You and me both.

Ashley and DVD lift up shots of Tequila and shoot em back as the boys continue the silent drinking.

Fade.

[BookerShark]

We’ve got no time for describing the scene, as IQ is on the phone and furious.

IQ: ..put fear into the referees to the point that they can’t even do their jobs right! Brass knuckles used in a match in the Onslaught division to win the match and not a word about it? Earning the guy who used them a title shot? I’m honestly fearful for whoever does wind up in the ring with him this week due to the lethal lottery thing your GM has set up, Psykle is going to be ready to kill someone. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him walk out there during the Onslaught championship match and tear in to Folz. Brass knuckles are just over the line in the Onslaught division, and I’m afraid this is all due to her incompetence in her position!

IQ listens patiently to the other person on the phone for a few minutes. We see Psykle in the background tearing up what’s left of the locker room at the arena in Kobe. Finally IQ breaks in to the conversation again.

IQ: And that’s exactly what I’m saying. In addition to ducking direct challenges thrown at her, she is threatening people with physical violence who should not be threatened. Regardless of what he may have done in the past, that is a VERY clear condition for a wrongful termination lawsuit against the OOWF as well as she’s now got all the other referees afraid of physical violence from her and other wrestlers, which is leading to them being too afraid to do their jobs. Order must be restored, and I’m afraid that she just does not have the ability to do it.

IQ listens again for a bit, before a wide smile breaks across his face.

IQ: I’m glad to hear that you see things my way, and hopefully you can convince the board as well. I’m more than happy to come to the next meeting to plead the case if you think that would help…uh huh…just let me know. Thanks again, good bye for now.

IQ hangs up the phone and looks over at the camera.

IQ: One situation almost completely dealt with, and another arises. Lethal Lottery. Who knows what match Psykle is going to have. Who knows who his opponent or opponents will be. All I can tell you is, you better hope it’s under Onslaught Rules, or you just might not survi…

Before IQ can finish we see a large exercise machine come flying through the air at the camera, smashing it into pieces and sending us to snow.

[BookerShark]

"Let It Rock" begins to play on the sound system and the fans start to cheer. J-P Sparxx along with Jewel make their way to the ring for a classic arena promo. J-P grabs a microphone.

J-PS: Hello!! Hiroshima!!

The fans cheer.

J-PS: Ya know, befoe I came to da OOWF, I had nevah left da USA, an' now, here I am, in Japan.

Cheap pop.

J-PS: I started da OOWF here in Japan, so dis is kinda like a homecumin', knowwhatI'msayin'?

Cheap pop for the catchphrase, which leads to a laugh from J-P and Jewel.

J-PS: A lots changed since I started here, so I thought I'd come out here an' give ya'll da first ever "State of the Spark" address, ya feel me?

Fans cheer.

J-PS: Now, when I started, I was just a cocky mutha fuckah dat was a sensation to watch in dis ring, knowwhatI'msayin'? Well, ya know what? I'm STILL a cocky mutha fuckah that's a sensation to watch in dis ring.

Fans cheer.

J-PS: I'm a bad mutha fucka!

Fans cheer.

J-PS: When I started, I'd come out here an' make fun a all ya'll, but ya know what? The Spark is a changed man. He's "matured" thanks in large part to ma lovely. The Spark of my life. The woman bahind da man, the lead in ma pencil, the one that makes me go sproing...ma baby. Jewel ev'rybody!

Jewel struts and poses in the ring as the fans cheer.

J-PS: An' for all you fans cheerin' me. It means a lot. So...

J-P clasps his hands together and bows.

J-PS: Nomo arrigato ya'll!

Fans cheer loud, probably because they actually understand this.

J-PS: Now, as for ma year here an' all da boys in da back. I wanna cover a few names. I'll start with Stankapotamus who you couldn't cover with a baseball tarp. Dawg, You won dis round. Ya beat me. A lot. But ya know what? I got you. It may have only been once, but I got yo fat ass. So talk all ya want, be as big an' bad as you think you are. You're definatley big son. But just 'member, The Spark can beat ya. Chew on dat. An' chew your food. You're disgusting. Movin' on.

Fans cheer.

J-PS: I gots ta covah the tomato can we call Champ around here. One Mr. Alexander F. Darling.

Fans cheer.

J-PS: Yeah, go 'head an' cheer him. He's da man right now. He gots da belt. But ya know what? The Spark owned his ass, knowwhatI'msayin'? The Spark made his name off his candy ass.

Fans cheer.

J-PS: Yeah, ya'll know "candy ass" huh? Anyway, bookahs, I hope ya'll 'member dat one day. I was in a memorable war with Stankopotomus when he was champ, an' I owned dis candy ass champ. I think I deserve a shot, knowwhatI'msayin'?

Fans cheer. Jewel claps.

J-PS: I've been a champion here. I was da greatest Onstar Champ dis company evah seen. Then I lost it to Pussyheart. Who I'm happy to report that is STILL a giant pussy, knowwhatI'msayin'? I think ya do.

Fans cheer.

J-PS: Now fo ma boys in Drink & Destroy. Ya'll sum crazy cats, but The Park has much love fo yas. Yur girls are fine an' yur drinks are fly. Yur word is good, an' you got a brutha's back. What more could a brutha ask fo? I got ya'lls too, so if ya ever need it, ya call The Spark'll be there. Did I just say sparkle?

Jewel: *sings* I'll be there.

Fans cheer the singing.

J-PS: To our new GM, who I haven't covered. Ever. Kinda cute girlie. Not as much as ma girl Jewel, but you ain't bad. Kind of a flat ass, but you can work on dat. Dis week you're doin' your lethal lottery an' shit. I just wanna let ya know The Spark will team up with whoever ya throw at me. I just ask ya not team me with Moosehead Jackass. I might kill dat foo.

Fans boo.

J-PS: Ah, good, yur not just cheerin' random shit. Kinda worried 'bout that. Time to wrap dis up. J-P Sparxx is here ta stay ya'll. Ev'ry week I'm done an' on to da next one, ya feel me? Ya can't kill The Spark. I be here. Deal wit it. Love it.

J-P poses in the middle of the ring with his arms outstretched and Jewel cozying up to his side as the fans cheer. He then grabs the microphone one last time.

J-PS: An' on a personal note. Sorry 'bout dat bomb. Dat wasn't cool.

J-P tosses the microphone as the crowd is eerily quiet. J-P shrugs to Jewel as they leave the ring clapping hands with the fans along the aisle.

[BookerShark]

Fire is sitting in her office, listening to someone talk on the phone.

FW: Thanks, Mr. Roberts.....No, I understand. Everyone deserves to be heard.

Lucky comes in.

FW: I have no idea what his problem is with me or Selena. Maybe he doesn't like to take orders from people with uteri.......Yes, you have a good day too. *click*

L: Uteri?

FW: That's the correct plural. I looked it up.

L: Who was that?

FW: Chairman of the board. Reassuring me that a certain rookie and his punk ass manager's bitch fest was heard and then dismissed by the board for the trivial crap that it was.

L: Oh...

FW: The fact is ... as much as I hate to admit it...Selena's done....an okay job as GM...

L: Wow....do you need a drink after admitting that?

FW: Maybe...I mean, revenues are up, ticket sales to live events. The PPV was soft at first, but then after we did the radio spots it went up.

L: And you're no slouch as Commish. And we're based in Ohio...it's an at-will state. Even a first year law student knows Glaw doesn't have a case.

FW: Or a backbone.

L: That...still......it does bug you though.

FW: It does, and I've talked to Selena about booking it, but she wants to go this direction first.

Kayfabe peeks around the corner.

L: Well, I suppose there's just one thing left to do about this.

FW: *sighs* I guess you're right.

The OOWF Banner appears behind Fire as she stands from her desk.

FW: I'm ducking YOU? Let me get this straight. You snipe at me from behind board room doors and through videos....and *I* am the one ducking YOU? Come here...

She motions for the camera to follow her to her office door, where she opens it, and points to the sign that says "Commissioner's Office"

See that? Now, Psykle, I'm not sure you can read. I hope you can. But I'm pretty sure your manager can. See, I'm not a hard person to fine. You wanna come and...."discuss" whatever issues you think you have with me, my door is always open.

She turns away from the door, but then stops and comes back, Columbo style.

Just one more thing, Genius, and I use that term loosely...you keep the backdoor attacks up? I don't think you want to come up that far on my to do, list, boys. Because you won't have to come find me. I'll come find you. And that will totally sparkle with me.[/i]

[BookerShark]

*Stank is in a Okonomiyaki restaurant in town. Sitting with him is a beautiful Japanese woman. By her side is a 10 year old boy, presumbably the woman's child of mixed descent. Bowls of raw ingredients are set down in front of the trio and the boy takes his chopsticks, removes some meat and vegetables from their respective bowls and plops them down on the hot grill in front of them.*

Megumi Fukuda - Lucas I can't thank you enough for allowing me to see my son.

Stank - Meg it was never my idea for Torrie to ever be seperated from you.

Meg - I had to send him away. The family...

*Megumi looks at her son with sadness.*

Stank - We shouldn't speak of such things in front of him.

Meg - Anyway... I'm grateful he's here now. He's grown so much.

Stank - To you and me both. I haven't seen Torrie since... hell it's been a few years.

Meg - You and Jared haven't reconciled?

Stank - We have.

Meg - How is he?

Stank - He's married.

Meg - I'm happy for him.

Stank - Shannon is a good woman.

*Stank, Megumi, and Torrie sit in silence for a few moments while they grill their food. As Stank rolls out his pancake to receive the grilled meat, the boy speaks.*

Torrie - Uncle Lu?

Stank - Yeah kid?

Torrie - I need to go to the restroom.

Stank - Go ahead.

*The boy proceeds to say a few words to his mother in Japanese. Stank's Japanese is not good enough to quite understand what was said. He watches the young boy head to the back of the room followed by a bodyguard.*

Stank - I'm sorry Jared couldn't be here.

Meg - Couldn't or wouldn't?

Stank - Does it matter?

Meg - I suppose not. How long has he been married?

Stank - I just found out about it earlier this year.

Meg - Oh.

Stank - How has it been for you?

Meg - ...

Stank -

Meg - I miss him.

Stank - It's been 10 years. You haven't moved on?

Meg - Jared was my... first love.

Stank - Is he your only?

Meg - ... ... no.

Stank - So you have moved on... good.

Meg - You don't have to sound so relieved Lucas.

Stank - I'm sorry. If it could have been different I would be all for it Meg. I think you are a wonderful person... but your family... ...

Meg - I know.

Stank - If I hadn't gotten Jared out of here...

Meg - I know.

Stank - I wish...

Meg - What?

Stank - I wish we could have brought you with us.

Meg - Impossible.

Stank - Nothing's changed huh.

Meg - My father has... softened his stance as far as American men are concerned.

Stank - Oh really?

Meg - My niece is dating an American soldier.

Stank - Okay.

Meg - The new generation are even more intolerant of prejudice than mine. Father is starting to come around to their way of thinking. He has to... or there will be no family at all.

Stank - Which is why you and his men have been allowed to meet with Torrie and I, I take it?

Meg - The moment Jared called and told me, he and my son were in the country, there was no power on Earth that would have kept me from seeing them.

Stank - Does your father know?

Meg - I'm sure he knew the moment Jared's plane landed.

Stank - Fuck.

Meg - It's okay Lucas. He wouldn't dare. These men are loyal to me and my mother.

*Megumi gestures toward the bodyguards that are seated nearby.*

Meg - A lot has changed in the family structure.

Stank - Your father?

Meg - Oh he's still in charge, but my mother and my sister pretty much run things. Our... criminal enterprise has... what's the phrase I'm looking for...? Become sukunai bôryoku...?

Stank - You're going legit?

Meg - That's the phrase... and slowly, yes. We are headed in that direction.

Stank - Interesting.

Meg -

Stank -

Meg - My father wants to meet him.

Stank - Who Jared? Absolutely not.

Meg - Torao.

Stank - Torrie? No!

Meg - He's his grandson.

Stank - Your father tried to kill Jared over your getting pregnant.

Meg - I thought I explained how things are chang-

Stank - I don't give a gotdamn. Your father and I came to an agreement.

Meg - Nonetheless... he wants to meet Torao.

Stank -

Meg - Please Lucas... if he meets Torao.. it might pave the way for him to forgive Jared.

Stank - Jared doesn't need his forgiveness.

Meg - It might pave the way for him to forgive me then.

Stank - I...

Meg -

Stank - *sigh*

*One of the bodyguards walks over and taps Stank on his shoulder.*

BG - Exodus-san

Stank - I haven't gone by Exodus in a long time buddy. You must be an old fan. Call me Stank... or mister Mann.

BG - Meesta Mann... The boy... Torao would like to see you.

Stank - Is there a problem?

BG - I don't know. He is in the restroom.

*Stank plops a grilled meat and vegetable stuffed pancake into his mouth and rises from his seat. He swallows the contents then puts a hand on Megumi's shoulder.*

Stank - Tell your father to purchase a ticket to Mayhem and I will introduce him to Torrie. Jared will NOT be there. I will call Shannon to let Jared know.

Meg - Thank you Lucas. You're a good man.

Stank - Not everyone thinks so, but I'll take the compliment.

*Stank gently squeezes Megumi's shoulder and she places a hand on top of his. Stank lets go and walks toward the back as the camera fades.*

[BookerShark]

A random SFJ (let's call her Meg) knocks and enters GM Selena's office. Selena is clapping and seems quite happy as Chuckles the Clown turns the lottery cage.

SFJM: Miss Selena, can I...

GMSa-T: Chuckles, did you fart or is that the stench of skank in the room?

CtC: Juh Juh.

GMSa-T: Ah. Both. Gross.

SFJM: Miss Selena?

GMSa-T: What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?

SFJM: Well, I'm new and I was hoping...

GMSa-T: Ah, I remember being the plucky new SFJ on staff. Then I met Omar and threw all that journalistic crap away. Okay, what would you like to ask me?

SFJM: What inspired the Lethal Lottery this week?

GMSa-T: Ah, well, I'm glad you asked that. Meg, right?

Selena smiles. Meg nods and smiles nervously.

GMSa-T: Well, Meg, I've always LOVED chaos which this will likely lead to. PLus it's the start of the Japan tour, which always draws MASSIVE crowds, so we gotta send the people home happy. And since we're coming off a Pay-Per-View it seemed like the perfect time.

SFJM: So, how does this work, exactly?

GMSa-T: Simple Meg. We've got every eligible wrestler's name on a red or white ball. Red is for the heels, like Moosehead Jack. White is for the Babyfaces, like Alexander Darling.

Kayfabe comes into the room tapping her foot.

GMSa-T: Oh, everyone knows what a heel and a babyface are, c'mon!

Kayfabe shrugs and leaves.

GMSa-T: Her dress was AWESOME! Anyway, ss I was saying, we'll stir the cage and...

CtC: Juh!! Heh, juh!

GMSa-T: *patronizingly* Yes Chuckles, you pull the balls out and then...

Chuckles reaches into his pants. The camera cuts to Selena and Meg who seem a bit surprised and then...

completely disgusted and shield their eyes.

GMSa-T: Omigosh!! Not those balls! Eww! Gross! Get out!

CtC: juh...

Chuckles leaves (I hope he zipped his fly).

GMSa-T: I did NOT need to see that.

SFJM: So, moving on. There seems to be a growing number of wrestlers questioning your qualifications and performance as General Manager.

Selena sighs and seems annoyed.

GMSa-T: Yeah, I knew that was coming. People think I'm stupid because I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Now, I'm not the brightest bulb in the box. I know this, but neither is Fatt Rollz who seems to be the most gung-ho.

SFJM: Yes, he has been one of those questioning your appointment.

GMSa-T: I don't have an appointment with him.

SFJM: no, I meant...moving on, now it seems Psykle, or more importantly, his manager, Genius IQ sent a complaint to the board about you, as well as the Commissioner, Firewoman.

GMSa-T: That's fine. Genius IQ...which he probably isn't. His name is his red sports car, if you know what I mean, he can make all the complaints he wants. Everyone knows how I feel about Firewoman and how I felt about her when I came back. But I kept her in her role because she was doing a helluva job. And if they feel threatened or intimidated by her, well, that's their problem, isn't it? I mean, she IS a former World Champion. Jeez. And as for me, last time I spoke with the board, they were thrilled with the job I'm doing. Am I gonna make mistakes? Sure, probably. Will I miss some things? Sure, no one is perfect and can be everywhere at every time. And I think I've been very strong about not retaliating against guys like Fatt Rollz or Genius even though I wanna take HDB from Uncle Moose and turn their heads into Jell-O.

SFJM: Random.

GMSa-T: I say that, you can't say that.

SFJM: I'm sorry.

GMSa-T: Anything else you wanted to ask me?

SFJM: No, I think I'm good. That Jell-O line was a great soundbyte.

GMSa-T: Okay. And if I can offer you some advice?

SFJM: Sure.

GMSa-T: Stay out of Chad Madison's hotel room. Or his locker room. or the back seat of his rental car. Or a janitor's closet near him. Or catering.

SFJM: Thanks, I think I get it.

GMSa-T: Just trying to help you avoid the Clap. Remember...

Selena looks to the camera with a huge smile.

GMSa-T: Smile for the Camera.

Meg shoehorns into the shot, drawing an evil glare from Selena.

SFJM: This is SFJ Meg, signing off.

Meg looks at Selena, who continues to glare.

SFJM: I...

GMSa-T: Shut up, Meg.

[BookerShark]

<we cut to the back where we see GM Selena. She is sitting behind her desk. Next to the desk is the case with the balls in it> S

<Selena reaches into the drum and pulls out a red and white ball and pulls out a name>

GMS: Our first team.......JW Westgaard and.........Tytan!

<She reaches into the drum again>

GMS: Our next team......Mai Muyo and.........Eric O'Mac!

<into the drum again>

GMS: Next up......Danny Taylor and........Chris Evans!

<the drum>

GMS.......team number four.......JP Sparxx and........Psykle! Boo, I was hoping it would be Moose so he could kill that little wannabe

<one more time, the drum>

GMS:......next up.......Alexander Darling and.......oooohhh! Stan Fulton!

<back into the drum>

GMS:.......only a few teams left..........LD Williams and..........Outback Jack! Hey! Not fair! They were already a team! Chuckles, look into the rules on that

Chuckles: Juh

GMS: Four names left........team seven........Davin Moreland and.........Stankie! Ooohhh!

Chuckles: <somewhat horrified> J-j-j-juh

GMS: Yeah, hmmmmmm, that means, the last team is...........Uncle Moose and Firewoman <Selena wrinkles her nose at this> Well it will be like the Five all over again! Ok, so here is how we will do the tournament!

<Selena writes something down and we finally see the brackets>

OOWF Lethal Lottery 3?[/u]

Moosehead Jack & Firewoman vs. Mai Muyo & Eric O'Mac
LD Williams & Outback Jack vs. Danny Taylor & Chris Evans
JW Westgaard & Tytan vs. Alexander Darling & Stan Fulton
J-P Sparxx & Psykle vs. Davin Moreland & Stank

GMS: Ok, let the promos begin!

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is in her dressing room, watching Robot Chicken and trying to put together a promo for her tag team run with Moose when suddenly...

KAPOW! POW! BOFF! ZAP! SOCK!

(OK, trying to show a sneak attack using Batman graphics isn't the best thing in the world.)

Attitude Adjuster bursts into the room with a surprise sneak attack (as opposed to a sneak attack the other person knows about, but I digress...). AA goes to work on Fire's leg, slamming it repeatedly against the giant Japanese flatscreen television. AA then grabs a random clangy pole and continues to batter Fire's leg. He then wraps a Figure 4 on Fire, and it seems to last quite a long time (which isn't the greatest television) until random jobbers run in to break things up. For good measure, AA beats up a few of the jobbers before taking the time to belittle Fire.

"Not coming to Japan? Really? You fell for that? I'm in Japan. I'll be in Canada. I'm coming to collect my money and take you out of wrestling!"

AA walks out of the lockerroom and down the hallway. From behind he hears, "Nice job, AA."

AA turns, sees who it is and snears.

"Just give me my money. I don't need your compliments."

"You'll get it when you finish the job. That was close, but she's still moving."

Eric O' Mac turns and walks away, counting his cash.

[BookerShark]

~~~ Texpress stand once again in front of the OOWF Banner. They both drink from their Aquafina Bottles and then address the camera ~~~

Chad: You know, we used to have some respect for the Hawaii'ans. They were solid wrestlers, and capable of putting on 5-star matches. That respect went out the window last week when you attacked us after the bell.

Zane: We had a great match. back and forth action, and unfortunately, a disputed finish. Trust Me ((C)Moosehead Jack 2004), no one wants a clean finish, a decisive result more than we do. But taking your frustrations out on us? Not Smart.

Chad: If you have issue with anyone, it's your good buddy Poe's bride, the General Manager. You want to be rough and physical in the ring? We've faced bigger, stronger, and badder teams. Bring it on.

Zane: But if you're going to stoop to post match attacks? All that shows us is that you will never Measure Up to the World Tag Team Champions, no matter the result of the match this Wednesday, live from Hiroshima (Cheap Pop) Japan

Chad: Much like World War II. Japan sneak attacked The US of A.(Cheap Heat) But once the smoke cleared and the bomb was dropped, America stood tall.

Zane: We will be standing tall at the end of the night. And if you aren't careful, we'll go all Enola Gay on your sorry butts

~~~ Chad begins laughing ~~~

Zane: What? Too Soon?

Chad: No, just stop trying to talk smack. Please.

~~~Fade....~~~

[BookerShark]

~~~ As Texpress head down The Hallway (tm) heading to the Texpress Dressing Area, Zane carries on a text conversation with Bridgette:

Bridgette: Nice job Hon. How's Japan

Zane: Same as always. Chad says hi

Bridgette: Of course. Good Luck this week.

Zane: Thanks babe.

Bridgette: One more thing, I have this great new idea. Chad will appreciate it more than you will.

Zane: Oh, What?

Bridgette: I went all Zach Ryder and created the Official Facebook Page of The Texpress

Zane: Why?

Bridgette: To give our fans another way to interact with us, and give you two a better way to interact with them.

Zane: Oh. Doesn't sound too bad

Bridgette: Well, to really get it going, you or Chad need to start dropping that into promos each week.

Zane: Why?

Bridgette: because it's a good idea. it's only one more thing. Sponsorships. Catchphrase. Cheap Pop & now Mention the Facebook Page.

Zane: I'll leave that up to Chad.

Bridgette: I know you will. Love you

Zane: Ditto.

~~~ Zane looks up at Chad and shakes his head~~~

Zane: Partner, you're not going to believe this....

~~~ FADE~~~

[BookerShark]

-->CUT to the apartment of Honcho Williams and we see both him and his mentor CC Scott playing NHL 11 on the Xbox 360. As the game goes on, Williams starts to talk about his upcoming match....

HW - So, pretty successful start, don't ya think?

CC - Oh by far bro, you established your dominance in front of the OOWF audience and showed you mean business, and now, this week, you have a roster opponent.

HW - Yeah, I face Attitude Adjuster....wasn't he the guy that didnt show up last week?

CC - Yeah, I have no idea what he was doing, but I guess not long ago he went after firewoman...

HW - Seriously? Thats stupid. I'm gonna do to him what firewoman wasnt able to do last week.

CC - Why dont we cut a promo, I got a camera in my bag.

HW - Sounds good, lets make it.

-->CC Scott goes into his bag and retrieves his Samsung camcorder and sets it up on the tripod he brought along seperately. With the camera set up and running, Williams begins his official promo to, hopefully, be aired by the OOWF...

HW - Alright people! As you easily saw last week, I was easily able to wipe the floor with my opponent, and it was expected because he is a jobber. Now....the OOWF have given me a roster opponent to show my strength against!

CC - Thats right folks, this week the rookie phenom, the young great Honcho Williams will face off against an OOWF vet, Attitude Adjuster. Last I checked sir, you were a no show for your match last week. Now, one would think firewoman would want the match here, but my boy here will do the same to you, if not more than what firewoman would do.

HW - And while I have the utmost respect for AA, in the ring all bets are off. You saw what I did to my unfortunate foe last week. He was decimated at the hands of...well....my hands, submitting to the vicious NOSEBREAKER.

CC - Not only that, you nearly kicked his head off with that superkick of yours...

HW - this too, is true. I think my foot felt a little sore after that one I kicked him so hard.

CC - Anyways, you be ready to face Honcho on August 17th AA, and be there this time. Lets hope you dont leave this giant waiting in the ring like you did last week.

HW - I'll see you on Wednesday pal....

-->Promo ends and the exchange a handshake and congratulations to one another for a perfect job. As they continue to play their video game, CC Scott mails in the video file for the OOWF. The two then continue talking...

HW - Look man, I am digging that superkick. When I nearly kicked that dudes face off, not gonna lie it felt pretty cool.

CC - I'm sure. With your ability to dominate, no one can stop you. Anyways, I have to run, I will drop by wither tomorrow or Monday and we can do some more work.

HW - Sounds good to me.


FADE

[BookerShark]

*Stank is EATING~! something that looks a little healthy in the cafeteria at Ric's. Davin comes around the corner, sees Stank, and sits down across the table from him*

S: Sure, why not? Have a seat...partner.

DM: ...

S: What? Didn't you hear that promo a couple weeks ago? You know, about not caring about whether I'm a face or a heel?

DM: ...

S: So you do remember.

DM: ...

S: So you understand that while you and I may have some philosophical differences - despite how Moose writes me - I have no professional problem with you. I'm a professional. You're a professional. And that's how we're going to take care of this...professionally.

DM: ...

S: I did just say "professional" a lot.

DM: ...

S: Oh...I don't know...

DM: ...

S: I think I've still got it lying around somewhere, sure.

DM: ...

S: Yeah, coming out to that music would be fun. How many times we done this, twice?

DM: ...

S: What's our record?

DM: ...

S: Thought so. I can even carry your sorry ass in the team.

DM: ...

S: You're right, that was uncalled for. I apologize.

DM: ...

S: Strategy? I don't really know. I'm pretty sure either of us can handle Psykle...but Sparxx...man...that kid can go.

DM: ...

S: Yes, I'm aware you helped to shape his now burgeoning superstardom. I just don't know if you can hang with him.

DM: ...

S: Well? It's something to prove to yourself and the crowd. You know, that you're not just gimping around here.

DM: ...

S: I deserved that.

DM: ...

S: Double team moves? Yeah, those just make tag matches better. What about a Big Double Suplex?

DM: ...

S: Double drop kick? One high, one low? I'm taking the low one.

DM: ...

S: Because I've been here longer.

DM: ...

S: Yes, I just pulled the seniority card.

DM: ...

S: Doesn't matter if you like it. What about a finisher?

DM: ...

S: Are you high?

DM: ...

S: Just because it SAYS I can do a Moonsault in my bio...it's just...

DM: ...

S: It's been a really long time.

DM: ...

S: You're really taking this tournament seriously.

DM: ...

S: Hey, I mean, I want to win as much as the next guy. I drew a good partner, but have you seen some of these teams? Besides, it's not like I'm hurting for title shots these days.

DM: Don't you understand? The vague promise?

S: *shocked a little bit that he said something* So what? It's a title shot. Whoopie.

DM: No no. The vague promise is just that...a vague promise. Do you want it to be a title shot? There ya go. If you want to use it to add some stips for when you face Alex again? The vague promise can do that. Say you want to book someone in a handicap match to soften them up? Now, with the vague promise, you can book that match.

S: That's fine...until Don Veto doesn't like what I want to use my vague promise for.

DM: That's the beauty of the vague promise. It's completely immune to Don Veto or anyone else. It's almost like having a wish from a genie.

S: Can I wish for more wishes?

DM: ...

S: Sorry.

DM: And I know you've got no trouble finding title matches; but honestly, I could really use that extra piece of insurance. Especially these days. I'm blocked out of title shots right now. What better way to get back in?

S: You really don't get sick of losing the title?

DM: You should know.

S: ...

DM: No, I don't.

S: Ok, then. So, the old singlets, the music, the whole 9 yards?

DM: ...

S: Ok good.

DM: ...

S: Hey wait a second, I just thought of something.

DM: ...

S: No one has said anything about winning a vague promise for winning the tournament.

DM: They didn't last year either. I still got one. So did Moose.

S: That's not ending anytime soon, is it?

DM: Depends when he wants to stop ducking me.

S: ...

DM: He is totally ducking me. He gets lucky with the no contest; as I have him completely out and am in total control, obviously.

S: Really?

DM: What?

S: You know I saw that match.

DM: You know I nearly won on several occasions, and when I'm in complete control...no contest.

S: ...

DM: What? Too much blood? Too much violence? I thought that was the whole point of the match? Why a no contest?

S: You both almost died.

DM: That is not the point. I'm talking about Moose ducking me.

S: I'm sure you'll get your desired response now.

DM: ...

S: ...

DM: ...

S: Watch some tape?

DM: ...

S: My thought too. Get to see those old matches again, heh.

DM: ...

S: Right, well, let's go.

*He heads out. Davin's two steps behind him and the camera picks him up, muttering...*

DM: and they say I run MY mouth...that dude doesn't shut up...

*fade*

[BookerShark]

<Moose is walking down the hall in Hiroshima when SFJ13 stops him>

SFJ!3: Moose, did you see the comments made by Davin Moreland?

MHJ: Yeah

SFJ13: And?

MHJ: And what?

SFJ13: Don't you have something to say about it?

MHJ: You mean, am I going to justify Davin's comments by calling him a complete fucking idiot?

SFJ13: Something like that

MHJ: No I am not. Davin told the world he was going to put me away, that he was going to end my career and that he would do it without breaking a sweat. I am still here, he failed, he is full of shit, end of story.

SFJ13: He will say you are ducking him

MHJ: Of course he will. I am ducking him, I am afraid of him, whatever it takes to try and paint the story in any other way than the fact. Which is, HE failed to do what HE promised. Beside, I have moved on. Davin Moreland is not even on my radar anymore. I don't give a shit about him

SFJ13: You insist on sticking to this Onslaught thing?

MHJ: Yes

SFJ13: No one thinks you can do this you know

MHJ: Fuck what they think

SFJ13: Are you ever going to respond to Mai?

MHJ: You know, for everyone that says the Quinn's are fucked in the head......listen to the Muyo's speak sometime. They are a whole different level of fucked in the head. Mai, this is the deal, take your stupid religion and your concern and stick it all up your ass. You are not going to save me, you can not possibly understand me, and I have no interest in getting all warm and fuzzy with you. What I WILL do is this, I will continue to beat your ass in the ring every single time and I will win the Onslaught title. Period.

SFJ13: Finally, you are teaming with Firewoman, care to comment on that?

MHJ: <after stopping and thinking for a minute> You know, this is something I had been looking forward to for a long time. You team the two of us up and let us lose on the OOWF, and......normally? No one could stop us. No one. And that is not a knock on any other team, but when we are on the same page? No one can touch us.

SFJ13: But.......

MHJ: But I don't know where the fuck Fire's head is. And worse, neither does she. She is running around trying to play domestic goddess, she is getting called out by a rookie with a big mouthed manager, and she is getting attacked by Attitude Adjuster, and never seems to see it coming. AA has got inside her head. The old Fire.......the REAL fucking Fire......would have beat the shit out of Alex and taken the world title, gutted IQ and sent Psykle to a world of pain that he has never DREAMED of, and gutted AA and sent him back to Vegas in a zip lock bag. But this isn't the REAL Fire is it?

<Moose turns and looks at the camera>

Fire, we have a chance to do something big here. We have a chance to prove that when we are working together, no one......NO ONE can stop us. If you come to that ring, and your head is not 100% in the game...........I think you know what the fuck is going to go down.

<Moose turns and walks away>

[BookerShark]

Moose is walking away and runs right into Firewoman, limping a bit...okay, a lot. She stands her ground however.

FW: Well, NOW who isn't paying attention and on their game.

MHJ: *Not backing up, so basically nose to nose with his sister* So which Fire is it going to be this week?

FW: *Smirking* The one that you're afraid of.

MHJ: *busting out laughing* That's hilarious.....me....afraid of you....

FW: Yeah, you are....

MHJ: And how do you figure that.

FW: My husband is still alive.

MHJ: ...

FW: ...

MHJ: ...

FW: So you ready to put this shit behind us for the time being? Because Eric's given me yet another reason to hate him, and I could care less what you do to Mai.

MHJ: Yeah....we'll see...are you sure? 'Cos you may have chipped a nail in that scuffle with Attitude Adjuster....

FW: Yeah, he got me. Pretty sure Mai's gotten in your head too, so we can either keep calling each other names, or work on making sure that when people hear they are facing us they tremble in fear.

MHJ: ...

FW: ...

MHJ: So...what do you have in mind?

FW: Easy. Arma-goddamn-muther-fucking-geddon.

Moose hesitates a bit, and then starts to smile. Firewoman smiles the same smile, and the lights seems to darken just a bit.

MHJ: What about AA?

FW: Don't worry about it...I got it.

MHJ: We'll see.....

They hold each other's gaze for a while and turn to walk down the hall together. Fire stops and limps a little back toward the ninja cam.

FW: Oh, Psykle...you want my attention? Take a lesson from Attitude Adjuster. He's got my full attention now.....

She smiles a bit evilly again, and then turns to follow Moose.

[BookerShark]

**L.D. Williams is getting a sandwich at Ric’s when Firewoman and Moosehead Jack approach him.**

LDW: “No.”

FW: “Nice to see you too.”

LDW: “I was talking to your brother.”

MHJ: “What’d I do…lately?”

LDW: “I am not asking for a barbed-wire-ring-rope, florescent-light-tube, Dethbat-on-a-pole, C4 match against Davin.”

MHJ: “I wasn’t - <Moose pauses and looks up, his lips moving as he reviews the list> - okay, I was. Except for the C4 - nice touch.”

LDW: “Thank-you.”

MHJ: “You could do Pegasus Kid vs. - ”

LDW: “No.”

MHJ: “What are you going to do with the Diva?”

LDW: “I like his idea.”

FW: “Iron man? That’s…straight forward.”

LDW: “When have I ever been anything else?”

MHJ: “True.”

LDW: “Besides, if I did want to hurt Davin, would I need anything other than a regular match?”

**Moose chuckles**

LDW: “It’s nice to see you two talking again.”

MHJ: “It’s temporary.”

FW: “We have a tournament to win.”

LDW: “Not gonna happen.”

MHJ: “What, you and the Aussie? You get along worse than we do.”

LDW: “Former Tag Team Champions.”

FW: “Former.

LDW: “Do I sense a wager forming?”

MHJ: “Five grand says we make it farther in the tournament than you do.”

LDW: “I’ll take that. Fire?”

FW: “The same - if you agree to donate half your winnings to Covenant House.”

LDW: “Done.”

**Handshakes are exchanged.**

LDW: “Should we bring Stank in on this?”

MHJ: “He’s teaming with the Diva - he’s got enough to carry without worrying about losing money.”

<fade>

[BookerShark]

Fans have begun to filter into the Hiroshima Arena in a OOWF tradition. Suddenly there's a squeal on the P.A. system.

"And during the few moments we have left. We wanna talk right down to earth. In a language anyone here can easily understand."

"Cult of Personality" by Living Colour begins to play. The fans begin the cheer the appearance of...Noelani?

Noelani makes her way out to the stage to a spattering of boos, but more confusion from the fans than anything. Noelani gives the fans a little shimmy and then makes her way to the ring. She takes her time getting in the ring, seemingly enjoying the song and the fans' attention. After getting in the ring, she gives a brief belly dance before raising her microphone.

Noe: Aww, I'm sorry. Were you expecting someone else?

The fans boo, because, yes. Yes they were.

Noe: Were you expecting the WWE Champion, CM Punk?

Fans boo louder, because yes. Yes they were.

Noe: I'm personally a huge fan of CM Punk. He is inspirational to me, and has indeed inspired me recently, which is why I am out here.

The fans boo, because they don't seem to care. Rude.

Noe: As some of you may know, thanks to OOWF-TV Asia, my Night Marchers, who you know as the Flyin' Hawai'ians...

The fans cheer like crazy. They love the Flyin' Hawai'ians in Japan.

Noe: Yes, the Flyin' Hawai'ians. My boys. As yu may know, due to some unfortunate incidents, their contract with OOWF has been opened up for renegotiation. What that means is that basically, they're free agents. Now, as I know that you do know, this Wednesday, in front of all of you! They challenge Texpress for the OOWF Tag Team Titles!

Fans cheer the match, but boo the Texpress after their recent bomb comments.

Noe: So, on Wednesday, and I'm gonna say this so even our General Manager can understand this. When my boys win the OOWF Tag Team Championships...

Noelani grins wickedly.

Noe: We're bringing them back here to New Japan!

The fans cheer the potential return of the Flyin' Hawai'ians to New Japan Pro Wrestling.

Noe: So, Texpress, the so-called measuring sticks of the OOWF Tag Team division, if you wanna save your precious OOWF Tag Team Titles from leaving the company, you better bring your A game and be the champions you claim to be. And Selena?

Noelani does the D-X chop.

Noe: SUCK IT!

Fans cheer the action.

Noe: Ask not what you can do for your federation. Ask what your federation can do for you! The only thing you have to fear is...us leaving with YOUR belts! Aloha!

Noelani tosses the microphone as "Cult of Personality" strikes up again.

[BookerShark]

*Davin and Stank are WATCHING TAPE~!*

S: See? Check out that alert. You've pissed him off, now.

DM: LD? Pissed off? That happens?

S: ...

DM: Besides, I don't think he's pissed off.

S: Of course. You know him so much better than I do.

DM: He's not. He's pumped for the possibility of a match. Whatever it was, Triple Electrified Cage Lethal Lockdown High Incident Dethbat on a Pole Lava Match.

S: Obviously, with Lava Gators

DM: Obviously.

S: Triple Electrified Cage?

DM: I put you through Triple Flaming Tables IN a cage...does that count?

S: That was terrible writing.

DM: I had to get to a finish somehow, sorry.

*Kayfabe peers in from the hallway*

DM: Oh yeah. Sorry hon. You know, you should really look for Eric. I hear he's trying to break the 5th wall now.

*Kayfabe sprints down the hallway*

S: You didn't get attacked.

DM: Me and Kayfabe, we're cool like that.

S: Sure you are.

DM: Anyway, back to the point.

S: Which was...what, exactly? I've forgotten by now.

DM: The match, with LD.

S: Oh that.

DM: I mean, think about it. There are only so many matches that you can put on a OOWF PPV with absolutely no storyline, no buildup, hell, even no hint that it's going to be on the card - put it ON the card, and have it be the main draw for the entire event. One of those matches is LD Williams vs. Davin Moreland.

S: That would be one of those matches.

DM: It's been like 3 years since we've had a singles match against each other.

S: Want some inside information?

DM: *surprised* Um...sure.

S: He's still pretty good.

DM: *rolls his eyes* Thanks for that. Can't get good information like that from just ANYWHERE.

S: Yeah, true....man, I kind of want to see that match now.

DM: You know, I can't help but thinking there's another singles match out there somewhere that would have the same kind of effect...

S: ...

DM: ...

S: Can it wait until after I've won my vague promise?

DM: ...

S: ...

DM: I suppose.

S: Because, that would really piss me off, you see-

DM: Oh no, no, I get it. No explanation necessary.

S: ...

DM: So...

S: ...

DM: Moose is still ducking me.

S: This again?

DM: And how do I KNOW he's ducking me, you might ask?

S: ...

DM: I said..."you might ask?"

S: ...

DM: *whispers* You're supposed to as-

S: FINE! WHY?! HOW?!?!

DM: Geez, relax, Lucas.

S: *glares*

DM: Because Moose used the "Tried and True Moosehead Jack Method of Promoing When One Must Ignore Blatantly Obvious Facts (tm)".

S: That shit's trademarked?

DM: Probably. I wouldn't want to give him an excuse to sic lawyers on me in order to perpetuate his Ducking Me.

S: Forget I asked.

DM: And you might ask-

S: I'm NOT asking.

DM: -what that method might be?

S: Still. Not.

DM: Well, I'm glad you asked.

S: *sigh*

DM: It's also known as the "Peewee Herman Method" or the "I know you are but what am I Method", or my personal favorite, the "Nuh uh. You are." method.

S: Well...

DM: What?

S: Nothing. I was going to agree with you. He crutches the hell out of "Nuh Uh, You Are." when he's got nothing else to say. Can't dispute facts.

DM: So you agree.

S: That he's ducking you?

DM: ...

S: I'm not saying that...

DM: But...

S: It IS kind of curious that he chose RIGHT NOW to start chasing his Onslaught Dreams.

DM: Good. I'm glad you're not buying it either.

S: Hey, I'll go by what Moose tells me when it comes to what Moose is doing...

DM: So, believe him or your own lying eyes?

S: ...

DM: And he's neeeeeeeeeeeeever done anything differently to you than he said he would, right?

S: ...

DM: *smiling*

S: Why you gotta bring up old shit, man?

DM: *in a Funaki accented voice* OOWF #1 Continuity Rememberer.

S: Yeah, yeah.

DM: ...

S: ...

DM: So, that's why.

S: Yeah.

DM: More tape?

S: More whiskey?

DM: That can be arranged.

S: Good. Did you make me a binder.

DM: Binder?

S: Yeah. Binder. Like you make for fucking EVERYONE ELSE YOU'VE EVER WRESTLED WITH.

DM: Oh.

S: ...

*Davin looks 2 feet to the left, which is about 6" to the left of Stank. Big Binder which says "Stank's Binder" on it*

S: ...

DM: So...more whiskey?

S: *snorts* Yeah. Clearly.

*fade*

[BookerShark]

*Streets of Hiroshima*

Alexander Darling is walking, walking & talking on his cell phone.

Alexander: Yea, meet me at that Sushi bar we used to go when we needed time to ourselves Lexie. I'm just around the corner from it.

...I don't wanna talk about that. I just want to have a nice meal.

See you in a few minutes.

Alexander heads into the restaurant and is about to take a seat at the counter when he decides to look around and he notices the people sitting in the two back booths. In one booth is GeniusIQ and Psykle and Alex just shakes his head as he was hoping to avoid OOWF for a few hours. But then his head continues to turn and he sees Attitude Adjuster sitting alone in another booth. Alex sighs as he makes his way through the restaurant. He doesn't notice that IQ and Psykle have noticed him as his attention is totally focused on AA.

Alex gets to AA's table and stands there looking down on AA.

AA: Is this where the good husband beats the evil attacker down?

Alexander: It should be, but Fire doesn't like it when people fight her battles. Besides, you're nothing but a waste of time and energy Alan. Fire will handle you and then you'll be back to begging for scraps from marks. But tell your boss, that I've already ruined his Kings...he's next.

Voice from behind Alex: Tell me yourself.

Alex turns around and comes face-to-face with Eric and well, that's not going to end well as Alex and Eric start throwing punches. It's a back-and-forth affair until AA finally gets up and grabs Alex from behind. And now Eric and AA are really working over Alex trading off shots on him. All of a sudden AA is hit from behind with a chair and we see Alexis has entered the restaurant. This gives Alex a little time to recover and he spears Eric almost out of his boots as they crash through a few tables.

Before Alexis can continue holding AA back, Psykle spins her around and bodyslams her through a table.

GeniusIQ: Maybe if Fire won't listen to my words, she'll see our actions.

Psykle continues the assault on Alexis as AA gets back to his feet and chop blocks Alex allowing Eric and AA to continue the assault on Alex. This continues for a few more minutes on both sides of the restaurant until Eric, AA, and Psykle seem to have done enough damage as they leave the Darling twins broken and bloodied...

Eric leans down near Alex...

Eric: I am Eric O'Mac, and you, you have something I want.

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

~~~ Fade into the OOWF Banner. once again, Chad & Zane step into view drinking their Aquafinas

Chad: So. The big bad Night Marchers are going to tuck their tails and run away? Assuming you're lucky enough to win on Wednesday You're taking your ball and going home. Cowards.

Zane: Let me clue you in on something... You aren't CM Punk. No one will miss you. Crowds wont gather and chant your name at nerd conventions. If you want to leave... LEAVE. Go back to being a big fish in a small pond. All that will prove is you truly cannot Measure Up to Us, or anyone else here in the OOWF.

Chad: And as for your threat of walking out with the Championships? Do it. It won't mean a thing. Those are the physical representations of the best tag team in the OOWF. If you walk out, you are no longer part of the OOWF. New Championships can be commissioned. Heck, We have a couple sets of Championships Belts that we'd be happy to let the OOWF use in their place.

Zane: Again, this is all IF. IF you are lucky enough to beat us. You didn't do it last week. You won't be successful this week either.

Chad: Don't forget Fans! Like us on Facebook

Zane: Way to work that in there partner

Chad: Ehh, It's a little rough around the edges. I'll smooth it out

[BookerShark]

CUT back to the restaurant. As Eric, IQ and Psykle turn away from the Darlings, they are floored by a huge flying crossbody. That huge body is none other than the OOWF Intercontinental Champion The Crusher Stan Fulton.

Fulton rolls through the debris and comes up to one knee. Eric and IQ are slow to recover but Psykle gets up quickly and he and Fulton start trading haymakers.

Psykle catches Fulton with a solid right cross that puts Fulton back down to one knee. But, lacking any bar fight morals, Fulton grabs a loose table leg and comes up in a beautiful daedosae (don't forget Fulton has studied Korean sword martial arts) and plants the end of the table leg right in the wedding vegetables of Psykle.

Fulton pulls the table leg back and looks at the end. The nails that were sticking out of the end of the leg are full of blood and ... some fleshy parts.

EOM: "Son of a bitch."

Eric and IQ are back to their feet and Eric launches himself at Fulton and for a moment gets the better of him. IQ is checking on Psykle who's rolling on the ground in a fetal position holding his twig and berries. Eric, however, has forgotten about the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion.

Alex taps Eric on the shoulder.

AD: "Excuse me."

Eric turns around, into a solid right cross that drops Eric out cold. Alex drops a pair of brass knuckles onto Eric's chest.

AD: "You dropped these."

Darling helps his sister back to her feet as Fulton pulls himself up with the help of a table.

AD: (to Fulton) "Thanks. You okay."

SF: "I've been worse. How's Alexis?"

AD: "She'll be okay. But I'd better get her back to Medical."

SF: "Let me give you a hand."

AD: "Thanks. Again."

SF: "We're partners. At least this week. Next week I go back to hoping you get your head smashed in."

AD: "Fair enough."

Fulton and Alex help Alexis outside to Alex's car and the three drive off to the arena's medical area as we FADE.

[BookerShark]

IQ and Psykle are in a limo traveling the streets of Japan. IQ is on the phone.

IQ: …no, I understand. If that’s how the board feels, that’s how the board feels. I do have to admit that I am a little shocked about it though, as I thought a commissioner’s job was to keep things calm and collected backstage, not go and out right endorse attacking someone in the back in order to potentially put them out of action. However, if that’s how the OOWF sees it….well, we’re more than happy to run things that way.

IQ listens a bit to the other side of the conversation.

IQ: No, I don’t understand where that came from either. I’ve never said anything negative towards the GM. In fact I like the GM. The only time I even mentioned the GM was when I mentioned the Lethal Lottery she set up for this week. Nothing negative in that statement…it is interesting to though that she decided that I must not like taking orders from anyone with a uterus. Quite entertaining if you know my past. I’m just sorry the GM listened more to Fire’s promo than to my own, and decided to take things second hand. I’m planning to go work on that as we speak actually. Well, let me thank you for your time, Mr. Chairman. I appreciate the board’s willingness to listen to my point of view and hear it out. I do hope that my worries are truly unfounded, but alas the realist in me must, as always, hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

IQ hangs up the phone, and we can see that Psykle is a little fidgety.

Psykle: Where are we going boss?

IQ: Just a relaxing trip to a local bar I heard about. You need to calm down a bit before your match this week…as well as before I let you loose backstage to hunt that lying self-aggrandizing manipulative bitch.

Psykle: I can’t wait.

IQ: Ah, here’s the place…driver? Stop here.

The limo stops, and IQ and Psykle get out of the car, and walk into a Sushi bar. Immediately recognizing the two, the owners quickly prepare a private booth for Psykle and IQ. IQ notices the other booth is currently occupied by Attitude Adjuster, and nods his head towards him in acknowledgement. There appears to be a small karaoke area in the bar, and this occurs there.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgT_us6AsDg

After Selena’s performance, IQ stands up and approaches her.

GMSa-T: Ewww, what do you want?

IQ: Miss Selena, you have me all wrong. I’m afraid Fire has poisoned your thoughts of me.

GMSa-T: You called the board and tried to have me fired!

IQ: I did no such thing! I implore you, please go back and review the tape. You will see quite clearly that the ONLY one I filed a complaint against was Fire, the only mention I made of you was the Lethal Lottery and the fact that I was unsure if Psykle’s opponents and/or partner would be safe in the match seeing how much the rage had consumed him after a referee, obviously overwhelmed with fear of Fire’s temper, was unable to properly do his job and allowed Matt Folz to use a pair of Brass Knuckles in an Onslaught Division match to eliminate Psykle and gain a title shot for himself. At no time did I say any disparaging remarks towards you or how you comport yourself in office.

GMSa-T: Well, why did that stupid new SFJ think you did then?

IQ: Again, more of Fire’s twisted lies and perception of the universe. She doesn’t want to think that perhaps my complaints about her are grounded firmly in reality, so she tries to find some other excuse, such as what she mentioned to Mr. Roberts about me not liking to take orders from people with uteri. Of course, that is another example of her upbringing as it would have been more accurate to say “from people with a uterus” as an individual can only have one uterus, and grammatically speaking saying “from people with uteri” would imply from multiple individuals who had more than one uterus inside them…

GMSa-T: Um, eewww!

IQ: But I digress. I wanted you to know that I am in fact a very large fan of yours, and in addition to the phenomenal job you’ve done as GM, I also wanted to say how much I’ve enjoyed your music and singing. That last song you just performed there is actually one that Miss Goldendollar and I like to listen to when we are being close to each other.

GMSa-T: OH! EEEEWWW!!! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW THESE THINGS!!!

IQ: I’m sorry, perhaps that was a bit too much information. Anyway, please understand that I have nothing but the utmost respect for you and your position. My only gripe is with how Fire has been, or should I say, not been, doing her job as commissioner. Endorsing back stage attacks? Is that really how you want your OOWF to be run? Imagine if you will, a world where every OOWF wrestler has to be careful every time he turns a corner, a world where every main event matchup is in jeopardy because who knows if someone is going to attack one of the participants backstage and put them on the disabled list. I don’t know about you, but it’s not how I would want my run in charge of the company to be remembered, and well, that seems to be how Fire wants things to run…

GMSa-T: Hmm…I’ll have to think about that. Thank you for the talk, and thank you for clearing things up about your feelings towards me.

IQ: My pleasure. Please, enjoy the rest of your night, I’ll assure that your bill is taken care of.

GMSa-T: Thank you, IQ.

Selena goes back to her table and talks with her friend, before leaving the bar, as IQ returns to the booth with Psykle.

IQ: We’ve seen how Fire wants it to be played, perhaps it’s time we join in. But first, dinner!

Fade to black.

[BookerShark]

We cut to the Darling Luxury Suites a few hours later where there appears to be....let's call it a 'discussion' going on. With broken objects scattered about.

AD: . . . And I'm SAYING I did NOT GO THERE looking specifically for them.

FW: I told you I would HANDLE IT!!

AD: I KNOW!!! I went there to avoid--

FW: You went to the restaurant that EVERYONE knows you used to hang out in, to 'get away from it all.'

L: Guys...

LD: Lucky, that's not what this is about.

FW: It fucking is too!

LD: It partially is, but Fire can't do anything to the people she is mad at so she's yelling at us. It's fine.

FW: Where did you get that shit from?

Lexie holds up a cell phone.

LD: Dr. Sid.

FW: Tell him to go to hell. And I CAN do whatever I want to the people I'm angry at, it's just FIRST I have to make sure my husband and sister in law are alive and--

LD: We're fine.

AD: And you're still limping, anyway, what would you have--

FW: I think we both know I can more than carry myself. Now, they've all moved to the top of my to do list, so if you'll excuse me, I have some things to cross off...

Firewoman moves fairly aggressively, with a limp, toward the door, when Lucky gets in the way.

FW: Really.

LD: You're also mad we went out to eat without you?

FW: What? I am not....

AD: Had to...you were busy.....

FW: Not this again....

AD: I'm not arguing with you about it.

LD: He's a bad influence on you, Fire.

AD: Lexie, drop it...he's her brother, it's not going to--

LD: I'm not dropping it! You may not care, but I DO!

AD: It's not that I don't care...

LD: And don't tell me that pairing was an accident.

FW: I have no say in that, that's all Selena.

LD: Yeah, well, you two have actually been getting along. She'd do it if you asked....

FW: Not THAT well...

AD: Or if Uncle Moose asked.

There's a knock on the door that interrupts whatever evil thing it looks like Fire is getting ready to say, and they all stop talking, and assume fairly defensive positions, although really, no one going to attack would actually knock. Firewoman nods at Lucky, who opens the door. GM the Selena is standing there.

L: Heeeeeeeeeeeey, Ms. Al-Tikriti....now is not a good ti--

GMtSa-T: Don't care.

She shoves her way in.

GMtSa-T: I figured you'd be in full on pit-bull mode.

Firewoman just glares.

GMtSa-T: Well, you don't have to be. The paperwork for Attitude Adjuster's suspension is being drawn up and--

FW: Abso-fucking-lutely not.

GMtSa-T: Huh?

FW: He is NOT suspended.

GMtSa-T: But the rule says--

FW: The rule is a stupid one put in place by Juni to make sure no one challenged him or his posse. It needs to be repealed.

LD: Fire...that will be open season on you...

FW: Juni was, at his heart, a coward. I am not. Get rid of the rule, Selena.

GMtSa-T: Well, I do think anything Ecosuck did was stupid......okay....rule is gone. No suspension.

FW: Great, now get out of my--

GMtSa-T: Well, there's this other thing....the board was very clear about it....

FW: What?

GMtSa-T: Well...since you're commissioner, your behavior is important, so.....I'm afraid if you retaliate, you'll be in some kind of big board trouble.

FW: SO I CAN'T DEFEND MYSELF?

GMtSa-T: Of course you can...you just can't go....what did Uncle Moose call it?

AD: Hunting.

Another glare from Fire.

FW: Fine. Whatever.

GMtSa-T: Sorry, Fire...best interests and all that...

FW: Fine. Then in the ring. Make the matches....

GMtSa-T: What? You against all three of them?

FW: Sure.

Alexis rolls her eyes, while Alex look is more one of deep concern.

FW: Whatever...tag team alex and I against two of them, or all three of us against all three of them. I DON'T CARE! I want TO HURT THEM! I want them to PAY! I want their blood to--

GMtSa-T: OKAY okay okay! Sheesh, don't go all Quinn on me. I'll see what I can do.

Selena leaves. There's a bit of silence. Fire looks around for something, finds a golf club...because why not? She picks it up, and swings for the cheap seats right into a mirror that shatters everywhere. She stalks off into her room. Everyone else takes a breath as Lucky gets a broom, Alex follows Fire, and Lexie talk to Dr. Sid.