OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (08/17) Live! From Fukushima,

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Fukushima, Japan

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Stan Fulton vs. Chris Evans

Non-Title Match[/u]
Texpress vs. The Flyin Hawaiians

Number One Contender Match[/u]
Stank vs. Davin Moreland

Non-Title Onslaught Championship Match - Onslaught Rules[/u]
El Lobo Sangriento vs. J-P Sparxx

Winner Gets an Onslaught Championship Title Shot[/u]
Moosehead Jack vs. Mai Muyo vs. Matt Folz vs. Psykle

Alexander Darling & Firewoman vs. Attitude Adjuster & Eric O'Mac
Drink & Destroy vs. Regicide
Honcho Williams & JW Westgaard vs. TBA

Card subject to __________ (Verb)_____________(Adjective) _______________(Noun)

[BookerShark]

*Later, Davin knocks on Stank's Locker Room door*

S: YEAH!

DM: *comes in* Hey.

S: Hey.

DM: ...

S: How you feeling?

DM: Headache. I'll be ok though, this is minor compared to how that could have worked out.

S: I'm surprised they worked as well together as they did.

DM: You are? I'm not.

S: ...

DM: They ARE brother and sister.

S: True.

DM: However...

S: Stephen A.?

DM: Nice. What I was going to say is...I FUCKING TOLD YOU DIDN'T I?!??!

S: *smiling* You did. Stank and Davin - 5-0.

DM: Complete with a shiny, new vague promise.

S: I know. I have to figure out what to do with it.

DM: Advice?

S: Sure, why not?

DM: Hang onto it until the perfect opportunity.

S: Thanks, Einstein. And when will that be?

DM: *smiles* You'll know. You'll forget you have it and then all of a sudden one night, something will happen, and you will have the goldenest of golden opportunities. That's when.

S: Ok then.

DM: Ok. *he turns to leave*

S: Hey.

DM: *turns back* What?

S: That was...it was ok. You seem a little different over the last few months. I can stand to be in the same room with you.

DM: Winning helps.

S: It does.

DM: By the way? Have you seen the run sheet yet?

S: Nope. It's up already?

DM: Yeah.

S: Who do I have?

DM: *clears his throat* Live! Next Wednesday, from Fukashima, Japan...it's will be...Grand Slam Champion Stank...vs. Grand Slam Champion Davin Moreland....Winner gets a title shot.

S: *kind of taken aback* What title?

DM: You know which title.

S: Someone's got a sick sense of humor.

DM: Well, someone expects you to be pissed off at me for shit that happened 3 years ago and I already apologized to you directly for too.

S: *zips his bag closed* Who is supposed to kick who through a plate glass window?

DM: Janetty wasn't kicked, it's a popular-

S: Leave it alone, Davin.

DM: See ya in Fukashima. Make sure to bring your HAZMAT suit.

*He leaves and fade*

[BookerShark]

<Moose is sitting at his locker getting dressed when a throng of Japanese media comes up to him and sticks mics in his face>

Reporter1: Moose! How does it feel to lose to Davin Moreland in what is being called the longest match in wrestling history?

MHJ: it feels out there. I mean, it's a major rush. I mean, it feels radical in kind of a tubular sort of way, but most of all, it feels out there.

<the reporters all stop and just stare at him, Moose just laughs>

MHJ: What do you want me to say? He won. So what. It means nothing. I am still standing, for all his bragging and promises, I am still here. He pinned me. The earth will keep turning, the clouds will keep killing, and I will keep going on doing exactly what the fuck I want and there is not a goddamn thing Davin Moreland can do about it

Reporter 2: What do you have to say about your team with Fire?

MHJ: <sighing> Got a rare glimpse of the REAL Fire for a minute there. Hope you enjoyed it, because it is probably gone forever now. All I asked is that she had her head in the match. For two matches she did. Despite what Davin wants to say, we are better than he and Stank - and for the record, so is KZ and a lot of other teams, hey Davin, before you spout off AGAIN how bout getting a few tag titles under your belt?

Anyway, Fire lost focus, we lost. Again, it happens. Whatever. She can go back to being whatever it is she thinks is making her happy

Reporter From the Back of the Room: She is teaming with Alex against AA and Eric next week

MHJ: Well there you go then. Maybe she can keep her head in that match. Either way, I honestly don't fucking care.

Reporter 1: What's next for you?

MHJ: I am going to win the Onslaught title. End of story.

<Moose gets up, grabs his bag, lights a cigar and heads out of the room>

[BookerShark]

Kono Kalakawa has a microphone and she's holding it in front of Kai.

KK: I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do...

Kai: You will stand there and look like your gorgeous self while the Kai explains his actions tonight.

KK: Okay, explain your actions tonight, which I'm proud of you for by the way.

Kai: The Kai thanks you. It's actually quite simple. Noelani got too big for her britches. Noelani should know better than anyone you can not control the Hawai'ian nation. You can not control the Kai or his brother! You do not taser the Kai's pie!

KK: Did you just call me pie?

Kai: People are already asking the Kai? Why Kai Why? Drink Bud Dry. Noelani is Ohana. Noelani is indeed Ohana. She is the Ohana of Head Trauma.

Noelani's head got too big. She wanted it all. The fame, the money, the photoshoots, the attention. She wanted to be the next Sunny. Well, Sunny's a fat, washed up, coked out, all you can eat pie buffet! Aim higher!

The Kai and his brother need to be their own men. You can't lead us around by our balls anymore. We are the Hawai'ian Nation! We are the Night Marchers! We are...

Aina takes the microphone from Kono and pushes into the shot.

Aina: Stop making a joke of this. Let me handle this.

Kai: The Kai will let his brother finish this promo while The Kai takes his girl out for some sushi. Come on, Kono.

Kai and Kono leave as Aina looks into the camera.

Aina: Lani. Please don't take this personally. As you liked to say, it's only business. Despite Kai's antics, you are indeed Ohana, and I love you. Aloha, Te Amo, Ich liebe Sie, whoever many languages I need to say it in, know it's true. I do not fault you in any way. You tried your best. We let you down. We needed you in Japan and we dragged you into this business that chews peopel up and spits people out. This is our life, Lani. It doesn't have to be yours. We couldn't go to college. You did. We didn't graduate high school with honors. You did. We scared the hell out of our foster parents because we were wild and crazy. You scared them because you were too smart for your own damn good. As Kai said, aim higher. You can be so much more. Please take this opportunity, and I hope that one day soon, you will forgive us. Ko Aloha Makamae E Ipo, Aloha No Au Ia 'Oe.

Aina sets the microphone on the floor and walks off.

[BookerShark]

*Chris Evans is seen walking back to his locker room when he is stopped by a Sexy Female Journalist.*

SFJ: Lionheart, how do you tend to explain what you did out there in regards to LD Williams and Outback Jack?

Evans: Simple, sweetie. I did it to make a statement. You see how there’s discontent in that group. One little shove and they turn on each other like a pack of wild dogs.

SFJ: But you started that fight. We all saw you.

E: I merely shoved LD into Jack. If there was the so-called camaraderie present in that group, they would have shrugged it off. But no, they nearly tore each other’s throats out. I did what I did in order to show Danny the truth, which is that his so-called allies will turn violent on him at the slightest altercation. That group was already a powder keg, I merely lit the fuse.

Those two are two of the most hot-headed competitors in this business, namely Outback Jack, who when pushed hard enough can rival even Moose as far as being a psychotic loose cannon is concerned.

SFJ: You know, you’re not really one to talk about turning on your partners.

E: Heh, knew that one was coming. And I’m not gonna deny that. But look at my reasons. Every single group I turned against treated me like shit, even when they claimed that it was for my own good. DEA, FUeL, Sanctum, SUPREME, GFY, Brass Knuckle Kings. You see the pattern? I know I do.

So now once again I see I’m facing Fulton yet again. Good. He’s another guy that I’ve had my eyes set upon. Since the moment he stepped into this federation, he’s left his mark in a huge way, no pun intended. In his short time here, he’s nearly become a Grand Slam champ already. He’s also been screwed over a few times, such as when Ravenna Blue beat him out as being Breakthrough Star of the Year. To me, Ravenna will always just be that in name only. Fulton deserved that award, hell, I even voted for him while I was teaming with Ravenna.

Fulton, you’re a good guy, and I like what you do around here. You’re old-school, but not Old Guard. No frills, no gimmicks, you just go in there and do what needs to be done. I’ve already given Danny something to think about, and you’re always welcome to join me if you choose to.

*fade to black*

[BookerShark]

The scene comes up in the Destroyatorium, and we see Danny Taylor seated as Spencer Darling is cleaning the wound in the back of his head. Victor is sitting across from him watching. A look of disappointment is on Danny's face.

DVD: Don't be so let down, you gave it your all in two solid matches. Besides, you only lost because the Quinn's had to resort to cheap tactics....again.

Danny goes to shake his head no, but winces from the pain of Spencer cleaning the wound. He instead just nods no slightly while making the effects of Fire with his fingers.

DVD: Oh, I know Fire wasn't the one that hit you with the chain, but she sure didn't seem to care about it afterwards either. Took the pin no problem, and walked right off without even checking on yah. Don't let her fool you shes just as bad as her bro...

Danny cuts Vic off and then points to his heart before moving his hand in front of his eyes.

DVD: Blinded by her emotions? Yeah, I suppose that's true. It could also be that she's just a giant bi....

This time Vic's words trail off as Outback Jack enters the room. He makes a beeline for Danny, and Vic is quick to jump up and out of the way. Spencer stops cleaning Danny's wounds, as he slowly stands face to face with OBJ. A moment passes as both men stare at each, no words or movement passing. Suddenly OBJ lets out a massive BELCH!

OBJ: That's Australian for that was fun, we should do it again sometime.

A smile creeps across Danny's face, as DVD lets out a relieved sigh. Ashley heads over with a tray of Fosters, and both men pick up a can, clink em together and take massive swigs.

OBJ: Now, lets worry about working our way towards a shot at those Texas boys mate.

Danny's smile gets wider as the scene

FADES

[BookerShark]

*Hawaiian Locker Room*

A note is slid under the door that Kono notices. She picks it up and opens it and reads the following...

I know your emotions will be running high tonight but you did the right thing. When the time comes, I think you two and I should make a move on the trios titles as well as your goal of becoming tag champs. Let me know.

A$D

Kono looks at Kai and Aina and puts the note aside for the time being but she does have an interested look on her face.

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is watching the ring tear down...kind of. She's still covered in the blood of her multiple opponents, and she's pacing a lot. Her fists are mostly clenched and when she gives orders it's... well, they aren't actually requests. Someone screws something up and she snaps, going ballistic.

FW: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! SINCE WHEN DO WE EVER DO IT THAT WAY??

Crewmember: I'm sorry, I just...I forgot....

Firewoman clenches her fists more and punches a video monitor, glass crashing everywhere, sparks, the whole nine yards. Lucky comes rushing up, with a towel and puts it over Fire's hand to staunch the bleeding. Fire looks at the crew member.

FW: Dude....John was it?

CMJohn: Yes......

FW: John...I'm sorry.....it's fine...however it goes in the box is fine.

Crewmember John nods nervously and goes back to whatever he was doing.

L: You should go to medical to--

FW: No.......Lucky.....I can't turn it off

L: Turn what off?

FW: ......

L: Ohhhh......so .....

FW: What Dr. Freedman said........

L: Okay....good, Fire....that's good.

FW: You'll set it up?

L: I'll take care of everything....you just get to the trainers and--

FW: No, I think I'm going for a ride....I have the motorcycle I rented out in the loading dock.

She pauses to awkwardly get a cigarette and her lighter with her good hand, and then light it. She looks at her bleeding hand.

FW: Yeah, that makes it harder to steer...maybe I will stop by there. Then....

L: I don't think that's a good idea.

FW: Yeah, well, I got nothin' better.

Fire heads out to get stitched up. Lucky watches after her, then takes over supervising while making some phone calls.

[BookerShark]

J-P Sparxx and his girl Jewel are walking backstage when SFJ April approaches him.

Jewel: Girl, you're like a bad rash.

SFJA: I'm not gonna ask about your rashes, J-P got a minute?

J-PS: Sho, shortie, what'cha got for The Spark?

SFJA: This week you have a non-title match with El Lobo San...

J-PS: Yeah, yeah, we been through dis. What da hell is a non-title match? What good does it do? If I beat El Loko Sangria, what's dat git me? Nuttin. maybe a title shot, where I gotta beat masked dude again.

SFJA: Well yeah, it'll put you in a good position...

J-PS: The Spark knows about good positions, knowwhatI'msayin'? An' the Spark is a former Onstar Champion, so ev'ry one knows dis. But fine. i'll beat dude. Then I'll beat 'im again fo his belt. Den all will be right with the world. Except fo all dis radiation shit? Ya smell dat?

SFJA: you can't smell radiation, J-P.

Jewel: Maybe it's yo stanky ass.

SFJA: Maybe it's yours.

Jewel starts to remove her earrings.

Jewel: Bitch you betta...

J-P restrains Jewel as April runs off.

[BookerShark]

GM Selena is sitting at her desk, ready to address the OOWF fans.

GMSa-T: Konichiwa. The Japanese fans have always been amongst the OOWF's best, which is why we continue to tour Japan on at least a yearly basis. That's why, with March's horrible earthquake and tsunami, we here at the OOWF have decided to take action and help our Japanese friends.

CtC: Heh! Juh!

GMSa-T: NOT NOW CHUCKLES!

Selena smiles awkwardly at the camera.

GMSa-T: Sorry, as I was saying. This weeks Midweek Mayhem, LIVE! From Fukushima!

*cheap pop*

GMSa-T: ...will be our OOWF Tsunami Relief Fund Show! Yay!

CtC: Juh! Juh!

GMSa-T: I hope that was you cheering Chuckles, and not being a pervert. Anyway, the OOWF will donate all profits from the Fukushima Midweek Mayhem to a variety of charities assisting in all methods to help those in need from this disaster. The OOWF thanks all of its Japanese fans for your love and support. Nomo Arigato.

Selena bows her head with a smile and we ...fade...

[BookerShark]

*Stank takes a towel and wipes sweat from his brow as an old Japanese "businessman" and his "associates" stand before Stank and bow in greeting. Stank returns the bow and motions for his nephew Tori to come forward. Megumi Ishikawa who is standing next to the businessman flashes a smile and seem to beam with pride as her son Torao Ichiro Mann walks out of the shadows and approaches his Uncle Lucas with some trepidation.*

Stank - Tori... Torao... this is your grandfather... Mitsuo Ishikawa.

MI - I am... pleased... to make your aquaintance young man.

*Tori looks up at his Uncle then bows in greeting to his grandfather.*

Tori -Hajimemashite

MI - Ah... your Japanese is flawless.

"I wanted him to be able to honor his mother in her native tongue."

*Jared Mann walks from out of the shadows creating tension amongst Mitsuo Ishikawa's associates. They all slowly reach inside their suit jackets.*

Stank - Gentlemen... let's keep it cool.

*Stank turns back toward his brother.*

Stank - Jared... I thought I told you to stay back.

MI - It is fine Lucas-san... He may step forward.

*Jared walks up and stands next to his son. Mitsuo gestures toward Tori.*

MI - Come... stand before me so that I may get a better look at you.

*Tori looks up at his dad who nods and motions for Tori to do as his grandfather wishes. Tori walks up and stands in front of Mitsuo. The old businessman reaches out and puts both his hands on either side of Tori's face.*

MI - Daughter, you have here a fine boy.

*Mitsuo's eyes start to glisten with promise of tears.*

MI - Despite your father being an old fool for not allowing this meeting earlier. I beg your forgiveness Megumi. I beg also your forgiveness Torao.

Tori - I forgive you.

*This elicits a smile from all save Mitsuo's associates who stand watch. Mitsue draws Tori in and gives him a hug. He then ushers the boy back to his father. Mitsuo stands before Jared Mann and looks up at Stank's brother.*

MI - I also beg your forgiveness Jared-san.

*Jared and Stank both seem alarmed by this statement. Mitsuo holds out his hand to Jared who does not know quite how to react.*

Jared - I... it is I who should be asking you to forgive me.

MI - Nonsense. I was blinded by... I'm too ashamed to admit it.

Jared - No I... I could have handle the situation better.

*Jared stares over at Megumi who locks eyes with the father of her son.*

Stank - Shake his hand Jared.

*Jared looks down at Mitsuo's outstretched hand as if noticing it for the first time and takes it into his own.*

Jared - Watashi wa subahte o kinodeeku M ga

MI - Your Japanese is not as good as your son's.

Jared - He had a better teacher.

MI - I accept your apology and forgive your pronunciation. I would very much enjoy it if you and your son join us for dinner.

Jared - Of course.

*Stank who had been a little wary of these proceedings starts to relax a little. Mitsuo turns to address the big man.*

MI - Lucas-san you fought bravely. Congratulations on your victory.

Stank - Thank you.

MI - I would like for you to join us as well.

Stank - I wouldn't miss it. Just give me some time to get dressed and we will meet you at your residence.

MI - I will have a car sent for you and Jared-san if you two would allow me to spend a little time with my grandson.

*Stank and Jared look at each other.*

MI - I assure you. He will be safe.

Tori - Can I dad?

Jared - Uh...

Stank - It's okay Tori. Go ahead.

*Tori races over to his mom and embraces her.*

MI - Thank you Jared-san, Lucas-san. I look forward to dinner.

*Mitsuo, Megumi, Tori and Mitsuo's associates all walk away.*

Jared - Lu.

Stank - Red.

Jared - Why did you say it was okay for MY son to go with that man?

Stank - You were going to tell him to go anyway.

Jared - I couldn't at least THINK about it first?

Stank - And undo all the goodwill we've established so far?

*Jared shakes his head.*

Stank - You know I'm right. Besides Meg's with them. Mitsuo actually likes me and I take him at his word that he won't harm Tori. Besides he wouldn't cross me... not after what I did for him.

Jared - That was years ago, bro.

Stank - That doesn't matter.

Jared - Hurry up and get dressed.

Stank - You go find Shannon. I'll catch up.

Fade

[BookerShark]

*The following morning Stank is on the Heel bus to Fukushima. We catch him at the tail end of a conversation he is having with his brother via cellphone.*

Stank - Well I'm glad it worked out.... Yes I know... ....... .... You did?... ... ..... Maybe... .... okay.... .... okay..... if I don't hear from you it was nice seeing you all again.... ..... ..... .... I wouldn't worry about it... ... ...... ... well maybe I'll make it out before we leave Japan.... .... okay... bye.

*Stank ends the call. Sitting around him are the usual suspects Moosehead Jack, Stan Fulton, LD Williams, and Tytan. Stank catches Moose glaring at him.*

Stank - What?

MHJ - Nothing.

Stank - You're not mad at me, are you?

MHJ - Why would I be mad at you.

Stank - I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

MHJ - Hey who you choose to be friends with is none of my business.

Stank - Ohhh THIS shit.

MHJ - Look if you and Diva Cena want to-

Stank - Moose for FUCK sake it was Leathal Lottery. I didn't CHOOSE Davin as my partner.

MHJ - I know I'm just fucking with you.

Stank - Huh?

*Moose forms a shit eating grin.*

MHJ - Gotcha.

*The fellas sitting around all start to chuckle. Stank is kind of confused.*

Stank - You're in a good mood.

MHJ - Anytime I can leave Diva Cena lying unconscious warms my cold heart.

Stank - Are you alright?

MHJ - Never better, why?

Stank - ... ..... uh nevermind.

MHJ - Just promise me you'll cripple the fuck when you face him Wednesday.

Stank - I'll beat him, sure.

MHJ - Break him.

Stank - Moose I'll do what I have to do to win because it puts me right back where I need to be... destroying Alex and getting my World Title back. I might have to hurt Davin to do that and so be it, but it ain't personal between he and I anymore. We're going to tear the roof off of the place, but don't expect me to revel in-

MHJ - (interrupting) I get it Stank. No need to elaborate. I truly don't give a damn as long as he loses.

Stank - Okay

LDW - Why am I on this bus?

Stank - You're... You're a heel aren't you?

LDW - I think.

MHJ - You're definitely a face.

LDW - With heel friends.

Stank - Right.

*The two buses continue down the road, when suddenly they are surrounded by about two dozen Japanese Police cars and forced off the road. They hop out of their cars with guns drawn.*

Japanese Police Officer - OK EVERYONE OUT OF THE BUSES!! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP AND LIE FACE DOWN ON THE GROUND!!

*Everyone on the heel bus looks around in confusion. On the face bus Firewoman looks over at Alex who shrugs his shoulders. We cut back to the heel bus.*

MF - What is this?

EOM - Is SOMEBODY on this bus carrying DRUGS?

CE - Quiet! The police are saying something.

EOM - Don't YOU tell ME to be quiet, CHRIS!

Stank - SHHHHH! Shut up! Both of you!

EOM - I'm NOT a HEEL by the way!

Everyone - Shut the fuck up Eric!

AA - Ha!

EOM - HEY!

CE - I'm not a heel either

Kai - Are we heels?

Aina - Yeah brah... I think.

Stank - Who GIVES A FUCK? Heel bus, shades of gray bus... Get over IT!

EOM - Remember when Hardbody Harris had those bracelets?

*The vets all look around and nod their heads in recognition as the police officer repeats the order through his megaphone. Everyone stands up and the two buses slowly empty. They get outside and all lie face down on the ground. The police officers jump onboard and tear the bus apart, digging through luggage, scattering things everywhere, finally one officer comes up to the chief>

JPO - We didn't find anything on the bus

Chief - This can mean only one thing.........full cavity search!

Stank - Oh fuck! Not THIS shit again!

*The Japanese police escort the first victim, Chuckles the clown, to a makeshift tent for the body search.*

EOM - WHY is this HAPPENING?

*Firewoman glares at Eric O'Mac.*

EOM - WHAT? I DIDN'T CALL IT IN THIS TIME!

SF - Could SOMEONE fill me IN?

*Stank starts to explain to Stan Fulton about three years ago in Malaysia when the chief walks up to Stank.*

Chief - Ok big boy... you next!

Stank/Crusher - I don't fucking think so.

Chief - I was talking to the kokujin

Stank - He means me, and fuck you chief!

*The police chief pulls out a 9mm*

Stank - You better use it before I take that gun and shove it up your ass!

*The camera cuts to Firewoman lying face down with the other group.*

FW - Okay, so on three....who's with me?

AD - Totally.

Lexie - Always.

CM - Well but what if...

FW -Trust me guys, you do NOT want to be part of a roadside Japanese body search.

ZM - You would know.

FW - What the HELL does THAT mean?

AD - Oh, please…

FW - Well he shouldn't just ASSUME!

El Lobo - We're not going to actually do this, are we?

FW - Oh Christ, don't be a pussy.

*A somewhat confused and bewildered Chuckles the Clown comes stumbling out of the tent. The Japanese authorities were apparently confused by his clown outfit, and thus unable to find any cavities to actually search, not that they didn't try. Firewoman counts to three, and the passengers from the face bus JUMP~! and resist any kind of escorting back to the makeshift tent. Stank and the heel bus passengers join the scuffle and the brawl is ON until back ups are called in the form of more officers, this time armed with automatic weaponry. The OOWF wrestlers are loaded in the back of Japanese police wagons and taken to jail. Davin gets the one phone call for the group and calls Selena, who calls her husband to joke and laugh. Poe calls the board of directors, and then reports back to the group, which is being held in a large, single, unisex, cell in a Japanese jail.*

FW - Well, it's nicer than I remember.

AD - Shut up. I'm not talking to you anymore.

FW - At least you didn't get--

Stank - I don't exactly remember attacking the police working for us LAST time Fire.

FW - Didn't stop you from doing it THIS time though, did it?

JWW - I'm just happy to not have been violated by a rubber gloved police officer.

EOM - Ha!

CE - I don't find any of this funny.

EOM - Oh fuck you Chris.

*Chris Evans hops up to his feet and advances toward Eric when Matt steps up and holds Chris back.*

EOM - Really Chris? You don't want any of this.

Mai - I've never been in Jail. This is horrible.

*Moosehead Jack smirks.*

SF - Does ANYONE know WHY the police stopped us in the first place?

Stank - Last time it was because of him!

*Stank points at Wally B King. Outback Jack stands up.*

OBJ - Leave him alone.

WBK - Look it's for medicinal purposes I promise!

DVD - Wally you didn't?

*Wally holds his hands out and shrugs his shoulders. Davin Moreland returns to the cell with news*

DM - Okay, well Selena and the board of directors will have us out of here. She thinks the whole thing is hilarious.

El Lobo - Great...when are we out of here?

DM - Well, that's the bad news.

Stank - Here we go.

DM - Things work differently in Japan, so by the time the appropriate officials are bribed it'll be .... tomorrow.

*A collective WHAT!?! is raised from everyone.*

El Lobo - Good job Commissioner.

FW - Hey, you want your ass probed? I'm sure we can arrange it.

El Lobo - What's to say this won't happen anyway?

DM - Calm down. The chief or sheriff, or whatever you call him here, has agreed that since justice in the form of American dollars is on it’s way, there will be no searches....[Chuckles whimpers in a corner]...er, uh...no MORE searches.

*There is a collective sigh of relief as the group settles down as best they can for what they can only hope is a very short day.*

fade

[BookerShark]

Fade in to the large, single, unisex, cell in a Japanese jail, where we find…well…everyone SITTING~! around trying to kill time…

Zane: …and the belts had chimpanzees riding tricycles on them for some reason, but we wore them proudly anyway.

El Lobo Sangriento: Sounds like good times. Wish I’d been around to see–

Chris Evans: Hey, I’m starting up this group and–

ELS: Not interested.

CE: But it’s all the newer guys against–

ELS: Not interested.

CE: But the Old Guard need to be stopped–

*Lobo stands up and walks to the front of the cell before Evans can finish…

ELS: Guard~!

*A prison guard approaches Lobo with a huge stack of papers in his hands. He sets the papers down, unlocks and opens the door, and hands them in to Lobo, along with a Sharpie. Lobo scribbles on one of the pages and hands it back to the guard…

ELS: Domo arigato, eh?

*Lobo takes the stack of papers and returns to his spot on the bench, where he begins signing each sheet of paper…

CE: What the hell are you doing?

ELS: I got the guard to make a bunch of photocopies of my mug shot. We’ve got time. I’d rather be signing autographs to give away to my Japanese Wolfpack than sit here listening to you prattle on about your one-man faction.

*Lobo turns his attention back to signing autographs as we *FADE*

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is staring at the bars of the jail, WILLING them to break open. Lucky walks up behind her and she jumps about out of her skin and throws an elbow behind her, but Lucky dodges.

L: Sorry!

FW: Do NOT come up behind me like that...especially....HERE.

L: I know! I forgot, I'm sorry.

FW: Any luck with the cell phone?

L: It's ringing busy.

AD: Are you okay?

FW: Fine....why....

AD: Enclosed spaces....

FW: I'm fine.....

AD: Uh huh.....

Fire shoots a look toward Attitude Adjuster and Eric O' Mac, who are whispering in a corner, and point in her direction, smiling. She scowls, clenches her fists, takes a step in their direction. Alex puts his hand on one shoulder, and Lucky on the other.

FW: WHAT!?

L: You can't, remember? Commissioner?

AD: They're just trying to get to you, Fire.

FW: So I...

Alex gets in her face and talks to her very low, but with his teeth clenched so that it's TECHNICALLY a whisper, but it's really not.

AD: So I'm not spending the entire night in jail trying to keep you under control. I'm tired and so are you so go over there, ignore them, and try and get some sleep.

Alexander storms off to the face side of the jail cell. Firewoman looks like someone has shot her penguin.

L: Fire....

FW: It's okay...look, can you change--

L: Already on it.

Fire goes over to where Alex is already sitting against the wall with his eyes closed. She sits down next to him, but he doesn't acknowledge her. She sighs, wraps her arms around her knees, and keeps her eyes open.

[BookerShark]

<Mai, who had been sitting there staring around the cell wide eyed, finally gets to her feet and goes to the bar and tries to yank them off the wall. After a few seconds she realizes she is not moving them and her head slumps. As if on cue, we hear Moose>

MHJ: Hey Mai, think this will go on your permanent record? You ever been in jail before little girl?

DM: Shut the fuck up Moose

MHJ: Fuck you Davin. I asked you a question Mai......you ever been in jail before? Isn't this going to dishonor your family? I mean first your brother turns out to be a psychotic nut job, and now you.........sporting a criminal record

<with the mention of a psychotic brother, Fire cringes slightly>

DM: Give it a fucking rest Moose

MHJ: Or what Diva?

DM: Or I whip your ass again

MHJ: You would have to do it a first time to do it again

<Mai drops to her knees and starts to pray>

MHJ: Yeah, maybe you should pray to your book of lies. Pray to the man in the clouds. See how much he helps you this time

<the camera focuses in on Mai, who is muttering a prayer, in the background, we hear Moose laughing maniacally, and we, fade>

[BookerShark]

Dynamite Danny Taylor stands bye the window looking out the bars to the workout yard behind the cell. He just seems to be enjoying the view, when suddenly he tenses up. No one seems to notice expect for Stank who comes over to stand next to him.

Stank: You aren't gonna freak out on us are you chatterbox.

Danny shakes his head no, and then nods towards the window. Stank looks out and sees a familiar mohawked form digging under the fence. Stank glances around the room, and then back out the window.

Stank: Holy crap, it's Justin.

Danny nods in agreement.

Stank: I didn't even realise he wasn't with us. He must have missed the bus.

Bye this time, Justin has come to the window.

Justin: Hey boss, can I borrow 5 dollars?

Stank: For what?

Justin: To break you out of jail of course.

Stank: Justin you can't bribe the cops with five bucks.

Danny nods in agreement.

Justin: Bribe? I don't know what that means. I'm just gonna knock the guards out and break the cell open.

Danny points at Justin and holds up one finger.

Justin: Don't worry, I brought backup.

Justin points back to behind the fence where we see Opus with a switchblade taped to his flipper, Shotglass dragging a large stick in his mouth, and Humphrey, who appears to be balancing a ball with thumbtacks taped to it on his nose.

Stank lets out a sigh, and his shoulders slump. Danny meanwhile is struggling not to break out into laughter as he fights back a smile.

Stank: Justin, look, the board is covering it, you don't need to break us out.

Justin: Don't think this is enough help? (thinks for a minute) Well I could ask ~LADDER~ for help, but he is notoriously unreliable.

This is too much for Danny, who doubles over in silent laughter drawing some stares from others in the cell.

Stank: Justin, we will be fine, why don't you head on to the arena and make sure they are still getting ready for the show.

Justin: If you say so boss. (he turns and leaves) Okay posse, lets roll.

Stank: (looking down at the still chuckling Danny) It's not that funny.

Danny raises an eyebrow and shoots Stank a look.

Stank: Okay, so it is a little funny.

With that Stank heads back towards his friends as the scene...

FADES

[BookerShark]

Firewoman gets tired of not sleeping, and goes over to where DDT and Stank are watching Justin and company crawl through the tunnel under the barbed wire. They are stopped by guards, but Justin gives them a handful of five-dollar bills, and says something in Japanese. The guards bow deeply, Justin and company do as well, and then they walk away. The guards turn and start to fill in the hole that Justin dug.

DDT turns to Fire.

DDT: ...

FW: I didn't know he could speak Japanese either.

DDT: ....

FW: I dunno, whatever he said must have made them want to fill it in.

Stank: How do you know what Danny is saying?

FW: Cos I listen.

Stank: Whatever, look...Fire....aren't you good at getting out of these kinds of places?

FW: I'm good at getting MYSELF out, but there's a lot involved.

Stank: Like what...maybe we can all do it.

FW: I don't know that I want to right now, though....

Stank: Why would you want to stay here?

FW: Trust me...I don't...but....

DDT: ....

FW: Exactly.

S: QUIT THAT!

FW: Fine. The only way I have EVER gotten out of jail is to fake having a mental breakdown.

DDT: ....

FW: Yeah, sometimes it's more acting than others. Anyway, they take me to the local psychiatric clinic.

S: You hate those. Like a lot.

FW: Yes, I do.

S: So why is that better?

FW: Better food, for one thing. Also, drugs. They really like to push 'em there.

S: So....

FW: The main thing though is most places have both crappy bureaucracy and mandatory re-evaluations after 48 hours. So, if I'm faking, I simply stop. They say I'm fine and I'm usually out of there before the paper work from the jail to hold me has got there. Especially if it's a weekend. No bail necessary to get out of the loony bin.

S: What if you're not faking?

FW: I just fake being sane.

Fire smiles. DDT shakes his head.

S: You scare me. I never know how much is crazy and how much is sheer genius.

FW: Be on the safe side. Assume it's all crazy.

DDT: ....

Fire laughs, and Danny does too...in his way....

S: So...

FW: Regardless, Stank, I'm good, but being crazy enough to get us all transferred? I'm not that good. Besides, we'll be out in a few hours....

They turn back toward the window to see the outlines of a tall man with a mohawk, a short flightless waterfowl, a seal, and a tiny chihuahua fading in the distance.

[BookerShark]

Cold open in a private limo somewhere in Japan.

IQ: Now aren't you glad I pay attention to all the rules?

Psykle: Yup.

IQ: All of them rolling back to the rules where we had to travel together everywhere, instead of remembering when an addendum was made that within the same continent, we could travel individually, and that it was only on long trips that we had to travel together.

Psykle: You're right.

IQ: So they all board the buses together, get stopped by the police and are being detained, while we are free to live in luxury and enjoy all the wonders Japan has to offer.

Psykle: Except we can't.

IQ: What's that?

Psykle: I said we can't enjoy all the wonders.

IQ: Oh, right. Well, true, we can't enjoy that, but the rest of the country is free to us, and right now, you don't even have to worry about one of your nutjob co-workers attacking you backstage because there is a commissioner who finds it to be her job to encourage backstage attacks and violence out in public instead of ensuring that action remains in the ring like it is supposed to. But enough about that waste of office space, let's talk this week's action.

Psykle: Another chance to earn a title shot.

IQ: Correct, and while it seems that you always do well in these matches, I do need to point out that Folz is once again in the match and is likely to try to find some way to cheat again. I have put in a request that there be additional referees assigned to the match to prevent distractions, but I doubt the OOWF will be able to accommodate that request. So, you need to focus on Moose...

Psykle: Difficult but not impossible to beat, I've done it before and can do it again.

IQ: Matt...

Psykle: Payback is a bitch.

IQ: ...and Mai.

Psykle: Deluded, theologically misguided youth. Sometimes it's the most devout that you need to worry about. Look at the situation in Israel with the Palestinian uprisings and attacks on innocents.

IQ: You're ready.

Psykle: The question is though....are they?

Fade to black

[BookerShark]

*OBJ walks over to where Fire, Stank, and DDT are standing*

OBJ: This is all very amusing, but I have an appointment with Mr. Takahashi.

DDT: ?

OBJ: He was the, um, sponsor of Empty Team back in the day. Now he is a retired Japanese gentleman who NEVER EVER had anything to do with organized crime. *OBJ glances up at the security camera*

Stank: And your point is?

OBJ: Oh, nothing really. If LD's Momma were to show up outside driving a tank, there would be no reason for the guards to worry - she'd just be showing up for a conjugal visit with Wally

[BookerShark]

~~~ Bridgette is relaxing in Zane's apartment. Robe, fluffy slippers, Bon Bons, the whole shebang. She flips on OOWF-TV and watches the whole Jail situation develop. She shakes her head and picks up the phone ~~~

Bridgette: Yes. I'd like to speak with Ms. al-Takriti................... Selena, Bridgette here. ..................... Yes, I'm sure you're doing everything you can to get them out, I appreciate it. ............................ No Not at all. Listen, since the boys are a little occupied, I do have something to discuss with you. ......... If you recall, we did ask you specifically to NOT book Chad & Zane in any Non-Title matches. ................ I understand you have an entire roster to deal with now, I would just like to express our disappointment in that decision. ................... No, I do understand why you think Kai and Aina do not deserve another Championship Match after losing by DQ last week. ................... I'm sure Noelani is a close friend. ............... I'm not suggesting that they be given every opportunity at a rematch. There ARE other tag teams out there................ Yes, please do. and if you really need any help with that, I have a little experience in international law. .................... Bye now.

~~~ She no more than closes the phone than it vibrates, and apparently this was a text. Bridgette lets out an "Awwwwww" and dials a number ~~~

Bridgette: Samantha? Hey there! I just got those pictures! ..................... She is such a gorgeous little girl! I can't wait to see her one of these days!.................... You know, I just might drive up there and see you ................... I have a couple of things around here to do but by the end of the week, you just might see me! .......................... Of course, I heard all about it too. ................... Oh, and I agree, Davin did have a point, Chad should have talked to him first. .................................... And Yes, He did dramatically over-react. Men, sometimes I just swear they don't know how to express themselves. ............................... Davin too? Zane's the same way. .................................. Well, they're both stubborn, but they'll come around. .............................. Me? (laughs) not anytime soon anyway. We haven't even talked about that. .............. Just enjoying things the way they are now. Listen, I'll give you a ring once I'm on the road. I'm sure it will take me a day or two to get there. ...................... No, No flying for me. Thanks for offering though. ............... Kiss that baby girl for me. Get some rest Sam. ........ Ok

~~~ She puts the phone on the end table and we fade.... ~~

[BookerShark]

FADE IN on a shot of OOWF Intercontinental and Campeonas de Trios Champion, The Crusher Stan Fulton standing in front of an old-school OOWF banner.

"Chris Evans, I appreciate the nice words you said about me earlier this week. But you know what?

"You can cram those words straight up your ass.

"I don't give a damn if you think I'm good or talented. Holding these two championships says I'm damned talented. These championships say I've made my mark.

"And I'm well aware that I was screwed over for 2010 Breakthrough Star of the Year. And I've never forgiven anyone in the back for that, especially you Chris. Did you forget this little flashback?

Originally posted by mooseheadjack
OOWF Awards Show 2010

CE: "And the winner of Breakthrough Star/Rookie of the Year is….this makes me proud….RAVENNA BLUE!"

"One faux-lesbian shower scene gave Ravenna the win. You'd think those were the AVN Awards and not the OOWF. But since that wonderful moment, Chris, I have gone onto dominate the OOWF. Both in the ring and out.

"You've gotten something else wrong too, Chris. I'm not a good guy. Contrary to this banner behind me, I'm not Old School or Old Guard or New School or anything. I'm The Crusher Stan Fulton. I am going to be the third OOWF Grand Slam Champion.

"And those quote-unquote Old School guys you're constantly railing about? I hang with a bunch of them: Moosehead Jack. Stank. LD Williams. Tytan. They are interested in the same things I am. Winning and making cash. Why don't you go focus on Davin Moreland. He's old and past his prime. Not to mention he's always looking for a feud to work. Perfect for you.

"Because you're going to need another storyline to work on after Wednesday night."

Kayfabe comes in and gets right in Fulton's face. Fulton sort of smiles grabs her by the neck and belt and tosses her through a nearby window, ala Marty Jannetty.

"Fuck you, Kay."

"Evans, you're going to need that new storyline because I'm going to beat your ass so bad on Wednesday night at Midweek Mayhem that you won't want any rematch for my Intercontinental Championship."

"Enjoy the pain."

FADES dream-sequence style as the view FADES up on Stan Fulton still sitting in a corner of the huge jail cell.

(muttering to himself) "That'd be an awesome promo."

FADE

[BookerShark]

Firewoman sighs in boredom, and goes over to the back wall. She lays down on the concrete, puts her feet on the wall, knees bent, and begins to do crunches. Over and over and over again. People look over, some shake their heads, some laugh. Firewoman ignores them. Eric O' Mac for some reason is annoyed by this. He gets up and stands over her.

EoM: What are you doing?

FW: Building a bridge. *crunch* what does it look like I'm doing it? *crunch*

EoM: Looks like you're showing off.

FW: Whatever, Eric....

EoM: Look, you're commissioner right? Can't you do anything? Why are we still here?

FW: Because no one has written us being released yet.

EoM: So why don't you?

FW: I figure *crunch* Spot has a reason for this *crunch* but if someone else gets sick of it *crunch* they can do it. *crunch*

EoM: HEY! NO breaking the fourth wall..that's MY gimmick.

FW: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

EoM: I can do that too, ya know.

FW: Congratulations *crunch*

Eric stands for a minute and makes a decision. He takes his shirt off revealing his Morrison-esque washboard abs. Fire does not fail to notice this. He lays down next to her, feet on the wall and begins to match her pace.

EoM: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

FW: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

This attracts everyone's attention. Alexander opens an eye, sees what's happening, and gets up, walking over.

AD: Do I want to know?

EoM: Fire's trying to show us *crunch* how much better she is. *crunch* It's not working.

FW: I am not. *crunch*

EoM: I bet I can do more than you *crunch*

FW: Bet you can't *crunch* I bet you can't even do more than Alex here. *crunch*

AD: Hey....what the heck does that mean?

FW: Just sayin' *crunch*

Alexander lays down next to Fire and begins to do his own crunches. The three of them continue going.

EoM: I can do more than you and Alexander both. *crunch*

FW: Maybe. *crunch* But I bet we can all do more than *crunch* Evans. *crunch*

EoM: Oh yeah....totally *crunch*

CE: HEY! I'm younger AND in better shape than the three of you.

Chris Evans lays down next to Eric and begins doing crunches. The four of them continue, as Attitude Adjuster starts to take bets on who will drop out first.

CE: Starting to fade, old timers? *crunch*

FW: No way. *crunch*

EoM: Not a chance. *crunch*

AD: We're in pretty good shape, Cubbie. *crunch* Not like we're Crusher over there. *crunch*

SF: HEY! I'll have you know that I'm in excellent shape for a man my size.

CE: Round is a shape.... *crunch*

Fulton decides to show them all up so he immediately lays down and starts to do crunches as well.

FW/EoM/AD/CE/SF: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

CM: Dude! Something to do finally!

ZM: No.

CM: Aw, c'mon!

Kai: I thought you guys were the measuring sticks. I bet we can outlast you.

Aina: I bet they're too chicken to even give it a try.

ZM: Okay....time to shut you guys up.

The four of them hit the ground and join the fun.

FW/EoM/AD/CE/SF/CM/ZM/K/A: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

JPS: Yo....I am NOT getting left out of this. I'm gonna kick all y'all's asses....count for me baby...

Jewel: You got it...

FW/EoM/AD/CE/SF/CM/ZM/K/A/JPS: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

Mai Muyo wakes up from her praying.

MM: OH yay! A game!

FW/EoM/AD/CE/SF/CM/ZM/K/A/JPS/MM: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

Stank: *Shaking his head.* Lookin' good there, Crusher.

SF: Well, someone needs to carry the banner *crunch* for the big men. *crunch*

S: Are you saying I can't do this?

SF: Don't see you down here. *crunch*

S: I'll have you know Fire is an EXCELLENT trainer.

SF: Uh huh...*crunch*

Stank: ..... aw.....hell......

Stank clears a bench out of the way and joins the club.

FW/EoM/AD/CE/SF/CM/ZM/K/A/JPS/MM/S: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

DM: Oh, no you don't, fatty fat fat. I'm NOT losing to you in this.

FW/EoM/AD/CE/SF/CM/ZM/K/A/JPS/MM/S/DM: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

The guards start to talk to each other in Japanese. One runs off to get a supervisor, or something. El Lobo looks up from signing autographs.

ELS: What the hell?

JPS: Get yo' ass down here, homie *crunch* I'll beat you in or out of the ring *crunch*

ELS: The hell you will.

FW/EoM/AD/CE/SF/CM/ZM/K/A/JPS/MM/S/DM/ELS: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

WLD: Huh....

MHJ: Yeah....

WLD: May as well show the kids how it's done. C'mon Tytan....

MHJ: You're kidding....

Tyt: All Right!!

WLD: Up to you, bro. But you know,... you want to be shown up by Davin....your sister....ALEX.....

WLD and Tytan take their places on the floor. Moose hesitates, but when LD says Alex, he growls and starts up beside them.

FW/EoM/AD/CE/SF/CM/ZM/K/A/JPS/MM/S/DM/ELS/LDW/TYT/MHJ: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

DDT: .....

OBJ: *BEEEEEELCH* Australian for I'm feeling kind of left out.

DDT: *nods*

FW/EoM/AD/CE/SF/CM/ZM/K/A/JPS/MM/S/DM/ELS/LDW/TYT/MHJ/DDT/OBJ: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

Matt Folz, Honcho Williams, and JW Westgaard look at each other and shrug. And then hit the decks.

FW/EoM/AD/CE/SF/CM/ZM/K/A/JPS/MM/S/DM/ELS/LDW/TYT/MHJ/DDT/OBJ/MF/HW/JWW: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

AA: Hey! This isn't fair!!! I want to be ..... Move over, Eric....Fire, I'm going to out crunch you and crunch you out of this business.

FW: *crunch* That doesn't even make sense *crunch*

AA lays down and joins in. I think that's everyone. If I forgot someone, put yourself in there somewhere. Lexie and Wally B. King stand near Jewel shaking their head while Jewel is counting.

FW/EoM/AD/CE/SF/CM/ZM/K/A/JPS/MM/S/DM/ELS/LDW/TYT/MHJ/DDT/OBJ/MF/HW/JWW/AA: *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

There's commotion outside the cell door as the superintendent of the jail comes down to see the entire holding cell full of people doing crunches. He looks around at all of them before finally speaking in broken English.

Super: OKAY YOU STOP THAT! STOP THAT NOW!!!

Everyone eventually stops and kind of cranes their necks around as needed to see what's going on at the cell door.

Super: GET UP OFF FLOOR!

They all stand, some more slowly than others, given their varying levels of fitness.

Super: YOU ALL CRAZY! I DON'T NEED CRAZY PEOPLE IN MY JAIL!

The cell door opens.

Super: GET OUT OF MY JAIL, CRAZY AMERICANS.

LDW: Hey...

MHJ: You wanna stay?

LDW: God bless America.

Super: Busses outside. Get on them and don't come back.

There's some hesitation, and then finally everyone files out, feuding parties glaring at each other.

Alexis: Told you.

Wally: I'll pay up when we get to the bus.

Stank: What?

Alexis: Fire said she could get everyone doing crunches at the same time. I believed she could, Wally said no.

Wally: Wait 'til LD's momma hears this. She's already a fan of Fire, this will just seal it.

They walk out and Stank waits for Fire who is the last out.

S: Really?

FW: You wanted out....

S: So you made them think we were all crazy.

FW: It was surprisingly easy.

Super: YOU STOP CHATTING. GET OUT OF MY JAIL, CRAZY PEOPLE.

S: Unbelievable. You did it.

FW: Always bet on the crazy, Lucas.

S: Let's go before someone changes their mind.

Stank and Firewoman follow the group out.

[BookerShark]

*Later, Stan is walking to the parking lot. Davin is jogging to apparently catch him. Crusher has no idea what to make of this, but he stops anyway*

DM: Stan, wait up.

SF: Something you need, Davin?

DM: Listen, I just wanted to let you know something...

SF: What?

DM: You know how the fake-lesbian won "Breakthrough Star of the Year for 2010"?

SF: Yes. I'm pretty sure I just promoed that.

DM: No no...well...ok...your idea of using it for motivation? I mean...uh...

SF: Spit it out, Davin.

*Davin gets out his smartphone, and shows it to Stan. It reads:*

2007 Breakthrough Star of the Year: Voltage

SF: Weren't you eligible for-

DM: 2007? Yeah.

SF: Hmm.

DM: It STILL pisses me off to this day. Every time I get in that ring, that's in the front of my mind. My peers, thought Voltage was a better bet for the future. And you know what? They were fucking WRONG. And I've gone on to be the first 6-Pack Champion ever, and the fastest to EVER reach the Grand Slam. So when you say you want to set your goal for-

SF: 6-Pack Champion?

DM: *claps him on the shoulder before turning to go on his way* It CAN be done. Our career trajectories...interestingly enough...aren't all that different. Would you mind a bit of unsolicited advice?

SF: Sure.

DM: Remember. Remember Ravenna beat you out. Remember your peers voted against you, even though you had the far superior year - far more decorated, and taken far more seriously. Remember that, Crusher. It will fucking help. That...That I can promise you, man. Gotta run.

*Davin takes off the other direction. Fulton's looks of confusion turns into a knowing smile, and we fade*

[BookerShark]

**Back on the bus, Tytan is staring out the window. Next to him, L.D. Williams appears to be sleeping. **


T: “Drink & Destroy again this week.”

LDW: “Yep.”

T: “Don’t get so excited.”

LDW: “I like kicking Jack and Danny’s asses, but we’ve been around that block…a lot.“

T: “Doesn’t mean it’ll be easy.“

LDW: “It never is. All things being equal though, I’d rather be defending our championships.”

T: “Looks like we’ll get the chance soon enough. Texpress and Firewoman, Alex and the Hawai’ians.”

LDW: “All the champions want more championships.”

T: “Do you blame them?”

LDW: “Nope.”

T: “We should get Stank and Moose to find a third.”

LDW: “You know who’d be the perfect partner for them?”

T: “President Ramu?”

LDW: “Close.”

T: “Regicide and Stan Fulton vs. Stank, Moosehead Jack and Davin Moreland would be a hell of a match - for the fifteen seconds it lasted before Davin and Moose tried to kill each other.”

**Williams chuckles**

LDW: “You know what would be cool?”

T: “What?”

LDW: “A tournament - All Japan style. Put the titles up for grabs against all comers.”

T: “Not a bad idea. We should talk to Stan.”

<Fade>

[BookerShark]

DVD, DDT, OBJ and Wally are collecting their personal belongings from the Japanese police. There are a crapload of flasks being returned, but that is really not a surprise. Suddenly a military tank bursts through the wall. the hatch opens, and LD's momma pops out. From behind the tank, Ashley, Spencer, Humphrey, Shotglass, Opus (still with switchblade taped to flipper) and Justin burst out.

Justin: JAILBREAK SUCKERS!

The boys just look at each other and shrug.

DVD: We have already been released, and I'm pretty sure this may constitute an "international incident".

LD's momma just shrugs her shoulders and ducks back into the tank.

Justin: (to DDT) Can I borrow 5 dollars?

Danny hands him 5 bucks, and Justin, all the animals and Wally hop up onto the tank. LD's Mom tosses it into reverse and peels out. (or at least as much as a tank can peel out.) Before the rest of D&D can respond, a battalion of armed guards arrive and surround the boys and girls left.

OBJ: (belches) That's Australian for what just happened?

Ashley: Justin said you guys needed a rescue party.

DVD: And you listened to him?

Spencer: Yeah, probably not the smartest move.

Danny just chuckles at this and OBJ cracks a smile. The Japanese police are not as amused, and draw their guns down upon the group who raises their arms in surrender.

DVD: Well, if we get another phone call, I will call Selena.

Ashley: Why?

DVD: Danny doesn't talk, Selena doesn't speak Australian, and I'm not sure how well she likes you girls.

Spencer: What makes you think she likes you more?

DVD: Oh, she probably doesn't, but we are in a match, and I do know how to speak business.

Both girls nod in agreement as the members of D&D are carted off to a less destroyed section of the prison. Danny throws OBJ a questioning glance.

OBJ: (whispering) At least they forgot to take the flasks back this time.

FADE