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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:31:29 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live From Grassy Butte, North Dakota
OOWF World Title Match – Onslaught Rules[/u] Niles Anderson vs. Microplay
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u] Blackdragon vs. Mr. Jealous
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match – Barbed Wire Hell in the Cell[/u]* 3Piece Set vs. Drink & Destroy
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u] Firechild vs. GimmickMan
Best of Seven Series – Match Six[/u] Hardbody Harris vs. Chris Alt
North Dakota Streetfight[/u] Donovan Viper vs. UnderDawg
Electro-Shock Match[/u] Thim Reynolds vs. Capellan
Johnny Adrenaline & Attitude Adjuster vs. The Establishment vs. The Team From Down Under Harper Camby vs. JW Westgaard Dr. Murder, Mikey Styner, Mercury & SoulDragon vs. Moosehead Jack, Concrete TG, LD Williams & Eric O’Mac Phil vs. Beast Corax vs. Tommy Wilder Canadian Dragon vs. Uncle Entity Hellion vs. Tommy O’Neil Mark Vander Invitational
Card subject to dem bones, dem bones, dem chicken bones
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:32:02 GMT -5
*Bandaged and angry, Drink & Destroy STORM into GM the Rick's office!*
GMtR - Ok guys you already have a rematch and it's a Hell in the Cell so what are you d....
*Stank SLAMS the door shut behind him. He joins FFC at theRick's desk. Stank leans in close*
GMtR - You're little too close Stank, you mind?
*Stank holds his position*
FFC - Rick... you know at this stage of the game... it's not the big things that bother us so much. We don't mind getting whipped like... as Ross put it so eloquently... government mules. We don't mind getting hit in the back of the head or choked out by barbed wire.
Stank *breathing heavily* - It's the little things, Rick. The little things REALLY grate on my nerves. For example... how does a minor detail like... a trap door in the ring escape your staffs attention? I mean I realize this is the OOWF and cheating is a way of life around here but, I'm a little tired of getting ASS RAPED out of our matches by that BITCH Firechild!
GMtR - The road crewman who conveniently negleted to mention the trap door has already been dealt with.
FFC - GOTDAMMIT RICK THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!
Stank - Like I said Rick it's the LITTLE things that bother us at this point. Because if it wasn't already painful enough that we LOST our titles to those CHUMPSTAINS due to your refs lowsy officiating... we then get beaten by them again in our rematch...
FFC - AND your officials record it as NO CONTEST!
*Stank pulls out a videotape and angrily inserts it into a nearby VCR, then pushes play. Firechild is seen coming up through the ring and slamming the bat to the back of Stank's head. FFC is choked out. Stank is suplexed then the bell rings as officials storm the ring. Stank pauses the tape*
Stank - Let me ask you something Rick. Was this match a NO DQ match?
GMtR -
FFC - Let's assume DQ's weren't in effect... WHY did the officials stop the match?
GMtR - Are you kidding me? You guys were done. If my guys hadn't stepped in... we were trying to save your careers!
Stank - I'm sorry. DID WE TAP OUT? DID WE GIVE UP? WERE WE PINNED? Did you think some blood and puncture wounds would STOP us?
FFC - Our F*%Kin Cage match against Hellion and Corax was 10 times more BRUTAL than what 3 Pussy Set did to us last night! Why wasn't the bell rung then?
GMtR - That was before my tenure.
Stank - Our point EXACTLY. Watch the tape Rick.
*Stank presses play and the tape continues to the end. 3 Piece Set exit the cage and leave up the ramp. The officials tend to Drink & Destroy when FFC groggly get's to his feet and THROWS 3 officials off of him, swinging wildly. Stank stirs and pushes officials off of him. Drink & Destroy exit the cage under their own power as the crowd cheers! Stank stops the tape.*
FFC - We were STILL breathing RICK! We weren't done!
GMtR - I beg to differ.
Stank - Point is... we want the record changed.
GMtR - What sort of douchebaggery is this?
FFC - It's like my partner said Rick... the little things.
Stank - The match was CLEARLY a DQ WIN for us. NOT a no contest. We'll get the titles later. Right now... we DEMAND the win. I'M SICK and TIRED of FIRECHILD'S INTERFERENCE!
GMtR-
FFC - What is there to think about?
GMtR - Look I have NO desire to piss you guys off any more than you clearly are... but...
FFC - careful.
GMtR - I can't change the outcome of the match.
*Stank angrily stares at the GM. He then grabs theRick's desk. Presses it over his head and throws it to the other side of the room. The desk SHATTERS into dozens of pieces. Rick BOLTS upright from his chair.*
GMtR - I'm going to let that slide for now cause I know you're not in your right mind now but, if you touch me you WILL be done here in the OOWF.
Stank -
FFC - Hey Lucas, relax... I'm pissed too but...
Stank - Well then...
I QUIT!
*Stank GRABS theRick by his throat. LIFTS him up on his shoulders and DRIVES theRick onto the floor with a STANK-U! FFC is stunned not knowing what to think.*
FFC - AW MAN! What have you done?
*Stank stands over theRick's prone body. The camera zooms in on Stank's intense glare. Just before it fades we see... a grin on Stank's face.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:32:26 GMT -5
There will be no escape from Microplay this time Niles Anderson...
The knave he sings of graves and things, Of brave old kings and caves of rings But hark his mood, the darkest brood - A bark imbued with stark, brown hues. Heard much have we of such a tree The hutched up plea of butchery. Of war and peace, on tours of grief We scored our sleep on cores so deep. We paid our way through raider’s bay We made our stay on th’blades of day.
The fight doth hum - the night it comes, And mighty sun and light o’erruns The pale blue moon, a frail new tune To gales that swoon o’er vales and dunes. That shines like bliss, the finest kiss, (How th’rhymèd fist snapped Time’s weak wrist) But then it came again the rain, I penned my name in dens of pain. It endeth there we’re friends who share A mended tear, the tend’rest care.
Moosehead Jack, Concrete TG, LD Williams & Eric O’Mac - you better call the hospital to get a ward ready...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:32:49 GMT -5
Capellan and Canadian Dragon arrive at the match list at the same time and give each other cautious nods of greeting.
"Good match last night." Capellan offers, "Think the Rick will give us a rubber match this week?"
"Definitely." CD agrees. "That, or I'll finally get my title sh- Gimmickman?"
"What?"
"Gimmickman!" Dragon points at the Onslaught title match, "He gave the shot to Gimmickman!"
"Really?" Capellan looks nonplussed, "Why didn't he just tell Firechild he didn't have to fight, this week?"
"Exactly!" Dragon seethes, "Gimmickman's been on his back for so many guys in the last two months he may as well be an SFJ, and now he gets a title shot while I waste my time with Entity?"
"And I have Thim again, in whatever an Electro Shock match is." Capellan sighs, "Which means another week of pretending I don't know he's using that armband of his to cheat and looking like a tool because I haven't worked it out yet."
"Ixnay on the aking-bray ayfabekay." CD jerks his head at the camera.
"Crap. Ninja cameramen again?" Capellan throws his hands in the air, "They need to put bells on those little freaks, or something."
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:33:09 GMT -5
3PS are watching D&D's promo in thier locker room.
Ax: Can you believe those guys? Wanting to change the record in their favor?
FC: Match wasn't a No DQ? All cage matches are No DQ, what the hell planet is this guy from?
Cole: Seriously Rick should change the result to a win for us. The ref stopped the fight because they were beaten. What the hell is a No Contest in a Cage match anyway. It doesn't matter though. What matters is that we all still have the gold. Next week we will beat them again inside the barbed wire Hell in the Hell. Last Night was just a taste of what those two tubs are in for.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:33:30 GMT -5
*GatorBait, OutbackJack, & Wally B. King are pulling up to Grassy Butte in their shiny new Subaru B9 Tribeca Limousine with many ladies of the night in tow*
OBJ: Hey Wally, Gator and I were wondering something... why do you think we haven't won the titles yet?
GB: Yeah, our manager's a pimp, so we automatically get more pussy than those playboys in the Silverware Trio... and we represent the Land Down Under, known for more drinking and destroying in a month's time than Captain and Stinky ever have...
OBJ: but he's not telling you anything you don't already know...
WBK: guys, I know exactly what you mean... on top of that, this week's rankings have you listed as the #1 contenders to the titles... I'll have a talk with The Rick when we get there and see what he has to say... I think I'll take Mindi and Cindi here in with me, to help "encourage" his decision...
GB: excellent plan, Wally... by the way, what is there to do in Grassy Butte anyway?!?
OBJ: grassy butt?... I was once with this sheila in her backyard and she was taking a ride on the Outback Express (*wink wink* *nudge nudge*)... when I stodd up afterward, I noticed I had a grassy butt... you think that's how this place got it's name?
GB: ...
WBK: ...
Mindi & Cindi: ...
*OBJ takes a drink of his Fosters... belches*
OBJ: That's Australian for "de-flowerization", mates...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:33:52 GMT -5
(Moose arrives at the arena a little earlier than usual to check up on his tag team partner. He finds Concrete in the locker room, earlier still, seated and facing the wall) Moose: Crete? CTG: ...... MHJ: (waits a moment for the "Dramatic turn" and some superhero blather, but sees that Concrete's not moving) CTG: .... (head slowly lowers) MHJ: 'crete..? You better not still be hurting from last week, this 8-man tag should be a walk in the park CTG: (growls) what have you done to me, Moose...... MHJ: ? CTG: (turns around in his seat, face still a little swollen and the stitches on his cheek still in place) I saved your life earlier in the show, so I know I'm still "here". But everything else.... the blood, the barbed wire, and the rage.... What have you done to me, Moose? MHJ: hey, don't blame me, you're the one on the vendetta crusade to take out Niles and the Devil's Brigade CTG: (Stands) that's not the Point! I still plan to complete my revenge against these guys for Semaj's memory, but not like this! NOT THIS WAY! This isn't how someone of my ability should be going about it! Somehow you've managed to awaken what bloodlust is within me and I all too readily pick up something wrapped in barbed wire and remain more than ready to bloody them on sight! that is NOT how my revenge is to complete itself! MHJ: you're getting a break from that, that's why you're not facing any of em at the show. CTG: That's not good enough, Moose. Niles, Camby and Tommy are in the building. That is temptation and impetus enough. (Marches up to Moose) I ask you ONE.....LAST.....TIME. What have you done to me? MHJ: Nothing. You're doing this to yourself over a dead man in a dead faction. CTG: (In one motion leaps at Moose, stopping himself short in Mid-swing, eyes wild and the blend of blood,sweat and tears on his face) MHJ: (startled) Crete you're gonna- CTG: I'M GONNA TURN INTO YOU AT THIS RATE! When I started this little Tag-team at your behest I thought I could at least get YOU to set aside your bloodthirsty ways and settle matters as they were MEANT to be settled - IN THE RING without a weapon in hand or the thought of putting a foe in the hospital! I DON'T WANT TO BE YOU! I WANT *ME* BACK, MOOSE! I DON'T WANT THIS! (CTG grabs the front of Moose's shirt and yanks him close) Bring me back around Moose.... before someone ELSE gets killed in this company. (CTG collapses to his knees, holding his head)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:34:15 GMT -5
<Moose looks at Concrete for a minute, gathers his thoughts, then speaks>
MHJ: Crete, I've said it all along, this has always been in you, I saw it from the first time we wreslted. You had a brutal, blood thirsty side that was dying to come out. It's out, and you are the better man for it.
CTG: What the hell are you talking about, I keep telling you, I don't want to be YOU damnit!
MHJ: Crete, you're not me. Not even close.
CTG: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
MHJ: Look Concrete, it's simple. I helped bring out that rage, but The Devil's Brigade and Niles pushed you over the edge, and that's good. Had you tried to take on those guys, get your revenge, you would have been eaten alive. They would have decimated you. You had to get down to our level. Now you get it, you get the need to have someone's blood on your hands, you understand the feeling you get when you tear into someone's flesh, you understand what it is like to fight, not wrestle but fight
CTG: <barely whispering. but the old Concrete.......
MHJ: <yelling> The old Concrete is GONE, at least for now, and he damn well better stay gone. You wanna survive those animals, he better stay far, far away. After it is all over, you might be able to go back to the way things were, but you better get used to this, cause this is the way it HAS to be. You may not like it, but it is the way things have to be.
CTG just sits stunned
MHJ: Now, I'll go get Williams and Eric and we'll decide how bad we're gonna maim the Evil Wizard's flunkies. Crete, don't fight this, this is what will make you great, trust me
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:34:42 GMT -5
FF Caplslock - YOU QUIT?
*Stank ignores his partner while unlacing his boots. He stands up and grabs his street gear out of his locker.*
FFC - What about the belts? What about our rematch next week? I CAN'T BELIEVE you ATTACKED the GM!
*Stank stuffs the contents of his locker in a dufflebag still ignoring FFC*
FFC - What am I supposed to do? WHY would you cut and run like this? You know if you walk out you're just letting 3-Piece Set win.
*Stank flinches at that statement, then continues to load his dufflebag.*
FFC - GOTDAMMIT LUCAS! WE'VE GOT A MATCH NEXT WEEK!
Stank -
FFC - LOOK AT ME!!
*Stank slowly turns his head, meeting FFC stare*
FFC - I can talk to Rick. If I buy him enough whiskey maybe he won't FIRE you for whatcha done. You can't leave. We're a team that hasn't even SCRATCHED the surface of their potential. We'll get the titles back... it's just a matter of...
Stank - WHAT? TIME? IS THAT what you were gonna SAY?
FFC -
Stank - It doesn't MATTER. When it comes to the Set... They can do whatever they WANT around here. I KNOW theRick hates them as much as we do but, when push comes to left hooks... Ax... Cole... Firechild... can get away with ANYTHING!
FFC - Oh QUIT your BITCHIN!
Stank - I'm not bitchin. I'm just seeing what you and the REST of the OOWF refuse to.
FFC - Oh yeah? What's that?
Stank - That there's no climbing over the mountain that is 3 Piece Set.
FFC - I can't beleive what I'm hearing. It's like I don't even KNOW you man.
Stank -
FFC - Here's a little history lesson, Stank. You and I formed a team back when 3 - Piece Set won the gold. We had to FIGHT through damn near every team in the division, all the top contenders, before we got a shot at them. Meanwhile the Set was partying and ducking us for months. When we finally got our shot… one team against the other, what happened? WE BEAT THEM!
Stank -
FFC – They then pulled that stunt and we lost the belts temporarily BUT we BEAT them again, DOMINATING the tag scene like NO team before us. We didn’t have to resort to STUNTS to beat teams. We just did what we do best… WRECK SHOP, as you like to say.
Stank – You don’t understand
FFC – What don’t I understand
Stank – 3 Piece set are a force, one that the powers that be around here won’t do anything about. You saw what they did to Seraph… what they did to us.
FFC – WE can STOP them, Stank. You and I are a force our damn selv…
Stank – Do you actually THINK that if someone aligned with us interfered on our behalf and cheap shot our opponents that THAT would translate into a title WIN for us WITH officials standing ALL around?
FFC – Who would align with us? It’s just you and ME partner. We don’t NEED help to win.
Stank – I’m SICK OF IT LOCK! I'm SICK of THEM!
FFC – Well then STOP WHINING and HELP me DO something about it! Don’t quit!
*Stank finishes packing his gear*
Stank – I’m leaving… but I will help you with one thing before I go.
FFC – Stank don’t do this.
Stank – Tell Rick… … … Tell him…
*Stank’s eyes BURN with rage*
Stank – Tell Rick… there WON’T be no Onslaught championship match next week.
*Stank storms off as we cut to commercial*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:43:47 GMT -5
*Chris Alt is pacing near the match list as he talks on his cell phone*
CA: ...and of course, it's a must win. I mean, I think Hardbody has taken me to the limit even more than Niles Anderson has. Every single match in this series has gone almost to an hour. Yeah! I know, right?
*As CA talksm Hardbody Harris comes around the corner and checks the match listing*
HH: Hey! Chris! Match six! Match six next week!
CA: Y... yeah... I mean, you knew that... didn't you?
HH: I just thought we might get Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster. I want to avenge our bicycles!
*CA raises an eyebrow as he stares at his best friend in disbelief*
HH: Oh well. I'm off to my dressing room to fill up water balloons. Then I'm going to get on the roof and pick off the Evil Wizard and his goons. You should join me!
*HH cheerfully whistles to himself as he exits the scene*
CA: No, I have no idea whether he's faking it or not.
*fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:44:21 GMT -5
The Devil’s Brigade is walking around the sleepy little town of Grassy Butte, North Dakota. All of them look to be bandaged and bruised.
Donnie Viper: Next week in that street fight I’m going finally end this with Underdawg. We’ll see how he likes a legal Chain Death Elbow. You know North Dakota seems like an odd place for a Street Fight. I mean the streets aren’t even paved here.
Tommy O’Neil: An de pepel ere tok funee. De sey “Eh” un “Ya Know” alut.
Corax: Did you just complain about Dakotians talking funny?
Harper Camby: That’s what he said.
C: Have you even listened to the way yo…..nevermind. Listen Tommy, you got Hellion. I’ve been in the ring with him and he is very, very good. But I’ll let you in on a few of hi weaknesses and by the end of the night he’ll have eaten that nice hook of yours.
TO: It crumpeld Concrat prudy goo didn’t it?
HC: Sure did. Tommy will get Hellion banged up for you and you’ll get to pepper Tommy Wilder a bit. The guy is all over the place in the ring but you’ll be able to keep up with him. Once you get him grounded he’ll be easy pickings.
C: I’m not worried about that punk. I’ve been through it all here in the OOWF. Some X Games Wannabe isn’t going to slow me down.
HC: Good you send him to the hospital to join his Hokey Reject friend who is going to be missing a few more teeth by the time I’m done with him. I just pushed Moosehead Jack to the limit. Westguard is in for the beating of his life. I’m going to go Todd Bertuzzi on his ass.
DV: Well that will be nothing compared to what I do to Underdawg’s ass.
C: Uh, Donnie.
DV: What?
C: That sounds kind of gay.
DV: It does?
TO: Aye
HC: Pretty much.
DV: SHUT THE F**K UP!!! I’M NOT A HOMO. YOU TRICKED ME INTO SAYING THAT!!!
HC: Whatever Donnie, its cool. We know your not really homo.
DV: You better.
(Harper, Tommy, and Corax snicker)
DV: Screw you guys. (Viper storms off)
C: Don’t worry about him. He’ll be over it in a few minutes. I’m hungry I’m off to find a grocery store. I’m almost out of pudding.
TO: ‘arpa, ye tink its tem fe a brew?
HC: It is about that time.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:45:24 GMT -5
"Look, I'm going to see if I can talk some sense into theRick. I'll catch you later for a drink OK Cap?", "Yea, no problem."
Capellan shakes Canadian Dragons hand and watches him walk off, as he turns back around he discovers, through the medium of being smacked around the head by a camera, that the Ninja Camerman was in fact Thim Reynolds in disguise (and a very tight corset!!)
TR: Don't know what the Electro Shock Therapy match is eh?? Well you're about to find out . . .
## Thim drops the camera on the floor, grabs Capellans arm and drags him off down the corridor . . .
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:45:45 GMT -5
**Eric O’Mac and L.D. Williams are WALKING.**
EOM: “…and now we’re back teaming with Moose and ‘Crete. This utility player thing actually works out kinda good.”
LD: “It keeps things interesting.”
EOM: “And I get my hands on the Fellowship of the idiots again.”
LD: “Just remember your place in this match.”
**Eric stops and looks at Williams**
EOM: “Meaning what?”
LD: “You’re teaming with three guys who re-defined the word badass – “
EOM **scowling**: “What, so you’re telling me to stay out of your way?”
LD: “Actually, I’m thinking this is the time for you to rediscover your mean streak. You want revenge on Styner and Murder? You won’t get a better chance. Pick your target and beat ‘im to death. We’ll have your back.”
EOM: “You want the violence? Don’t worry. I’ll bring it.”
LD: “You’d better. No offence, brother, but if Concrete’s having second thoughts, we need you to step up.”
EOM: “For the Wizard’s crew?”
LD: “Screw the Wizard and his band of brain-dead bottom feeders. This match is just a tune-up. When it’s Niles or Beast or Viper or ‘Dawg that we’re up against, you need to be ready to do whatever it takes.”
EOM: “You think it’ll come to that?”
LD: “It damn well better.”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:46:10 GMT -5
The Evil Wizard begins another weird promo…
The night was black was no use holding back 'Cos I just had to see was someone watching me In the mist dark figures move and twist Was this all for real or some kind of hell 666 the number of the beast Hell and fire was spawned to be released
Torches blazed and sacred chants were praised As they start to cry hands held to the sky In the night the fires burning bright The ritual has begun Satan's work is done 666 the number of the beast Sacrifice is going on tonight
Behind The Evil Wizard, Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster secretly walk into camera range. They playfully sneak behind Evil Wizard, shushing each other with a finger to the lips. Johnny does his “Raise the Roof” a few times and AA makes “talky-talky” hand gestures. Johnny puts on a tall pointy hat and mimics Wizard. AA does the rabbit ears thing behind Wizard’s head. All the while, Wizard keeps talking.
Finally, AA motions to JA and counts on his hand: 1, 2, 3. AA and JA jump out in front a startled Evil Wizard.
EW: What is it you doth duo do behind my back?
AA: Man, you’re harder to understand that Tommy O’Neill.
EW: Doth art ruining my promo!
JA: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Look, Microplay doesn’t have a chance against Niles this week. We have our one-year anniversary PPV coming up in a month. Do you really think we’re going to do a World title switch at a weekly house show?
EW: Doth art kay-fabeing. A pox on both of you!
AA: Whatever. This promo sucks. And I got a pox right here for you.
AA slaps The Claw on Evil Wizard, driving him into the backdrop. Wizard quickly starts bleeding from the forehead. AA releases The Claw and JA grabs Wizard for an ADRENALINE RUSH!!!!! on the concrete floor.
AA: Boy, that was fun!
JA: I feel different, though, like some far off crowd is cheering me. Is this what it feels like to be a face?
AA: You’re asking me?
JA: Well, you were part of Concrete’s faction for a while. And we fought each other. Someone had to be the face, right?
AA looks down at his “Heelstrong” arm bracelet. Surprisingly it’s turning a shade of gray.
AA (slapping at his bracelet): Stop that! Bad “Heelstrong” bracelet! You can’t turn white! I’ll never let this turn white!
The bracelet turns black again.
AA: That’s better. Alright, let’s go get a sandwich.
JA: Be right with you.
JA sticks around for a second, watching Wizard pull himself together from the beating. JA suddenly kicks Wizard in the ribs once, then again.
JA: And that’s for quoting Iron Maiden lyrics. Iron Maiden…that’s not cool. If you’re going to quote music, ‘80s love songs are much better.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:46:39 GMT -5
Mr Jealous is walking along the corridor to see the match line up and sees Firechild, tears running down his face, his countenance wracked with mirth.
FC:.....hahahahah....(breathes) .... ahahahaha Gimmickman, ahahahah... guess that little note had some effect. Ahahahahahaha.....oh, hey MJ.
MJ: What the fuck?
FC: Just some, EXCELLENT booking from our..... esteemed GM. And you've got another shot at the IC title. Good luck man.
Jealous thinks for a second, then seems to hear something and sprints round the corner.
Firechild follows, amused and sees the Evil Wizard lying on the floor beaten silly. Jealous picks him up and smacks him with a Jealous Rage onto the floor.
MJ: Thats for mangling Maiden, you pointy hatted elf fucker! What the fuck you grinning at Flame?
FC: Nothing man, this day just gets funnier and funnier..... <thinks for a second> Sure I heard Adrenaline say something bout banging a girl on the side. I wonder who he's talking bout.....
A look of concern, hurt and oddly enough Jealous Rage crosses MJ's face, and he gives the wizard another kick and storms off.
Firechild smiles, and says to himself.
FC: I'm a bad man, but this is too much fun. And who's gonna stop me.
Ax & Cole come up from the vantage point across the way.
Cole: Who's gonna stop US?
The set laugh and wander off in search of amusement......
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:47:03 GMT -5
**As the camera pans away from 3PS, it catches L.D. Williams talking on his cell phone.**
“Thanks for the offer Ma, but we should be okay at Mayhem.”
“AA and Johnny just did that, actually.”
“Defending Niles, I guess.”
“It’s not that impressive.”
“Ma, the cat could beat up the Evil Wizard.”
“The three-legged one.”
“No Ma, the CAT, not the Wizard. He’s strange, but he’s not some three-legged fr-“
“MA!! I told you I don’t want to know about you and Wally!!”
“Aw, c’mon, I gotta work with the guy! Geez!”
“I gotta go.”
**Williams hangs up the phone and is staring at it as Eric O’Mac walks up.**
EOM: “So, what did your mom have to say?”
LD: “Man, you do NOT want to know... Just stay away from Wally King.”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:47:28 GMT -5
*Evil Wizard is in his alchemy lab mixing some potion*
EW: Oh my aches and pains... No man of my stature deserves anything like this, Satan himself did not face such torment in hell itself! This potion ought to do the trick...
*Wizard takes the potion and is miraculously healed*
EW: Now, I will make sure that they pay for this! They will pay!
Styner! Murder!
*Mike Styner and Dr. Murder emerge. EW whispers something into Dr. Murder's ear and he laughs*
Dr. M: Yes Boss, that will do nicely....
MS: Gold!
EW: There will be time for that later, first let my plan unfold. Muhwahahaha!
*They all laugh as the screen fades to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:47:54 GMT -5
Ax – Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha
Cole – Ha Ha Ha Ha
Firechild – Ha Ha Ha… MMMF!
Cole – We are on top of the WORLD baby!
Ax – Yeah, we’re stylin and profilin better than the Nature boy EVER could, WOOOO!
Cole – Speaking of Naitch, how’s about we stop by his sandwich stand and grab something to eat.
Ax – I am pretty hungry. What do you think FC? … Firechild?
Cole – Hey. Where’d he go?
*****Commercial Break******
*We’re back from commercial and we see Stank carrying an unconscious Firechild over his right shoulder. He carries Firechild to the boiler room and places him on a chair. Stank ties Firechild’s hands behind his back with barbed-wire. The Onslaught champion is slumped over in the chair. Stank takes a bottle of water and splashes it on Firechild’s face.*
Stank – WAKE UP!
FC - *spit* *snort* Huh? What the HELL is GOING ON?
S –
FC– You! What the f#@k do you think… OW!
S – Shut the hell up!
*Blood runs down the corner of Firechild’s mouth where Stank hit him. Firechild composes himself then looks up at Stank.*
FC – So what’s the plan big man? You gonna beat me up?
S – Yes.
FC – What then Stinky? You think that beating me will make you feel better?
S – Yes.
FC – Then GO AHEAD! YOU STILL WON’T BE TAG TEAM CHAMP YOU SMELLY F@#K!
*Stank PUNCHES Firechild in the mush again.*
S – I know that. That’s not what this is about.
*Firechild spits blood on Stank’s shoes. The big man looks down at his feet, rips off a piece of Firechild’s shirt then causally wipes the blood off his shoes. As Stank is bent over Firechild SPITS blood on top of Stank’s head. Stank SMACKS the taste out of Firechild then wipes the spit off his head with the piece of ripped shirt. Firechild is SEETHING~!*
FC – This is a $300 SHIRT! Who do Y... You THINK you’re gonna GET AWAY WITH THIS DAMMIT! I’M THE ONSLAUGHT F@#KING CHAMPION! RICK will definitely FIRE your ASS, when he wakes up, if you screw up his SHOW! Assaulting him is one thing but, MESSING up his SHOW is unforgivable you DUMBSH!T MUTHA…OW!
S – You kiss your momma with that mouth?
FC – F@#K YOU!
S – You saw the footage. I QUIT the OOWF. The game we’re playing right here has no rules, no DQ’s, no officials of any kind except ME! I want you to see something before I END you.
*Stank pulls on a nearby chain. The chain is part of a series of pulleys which lift a man up off the floor by his bound hands. The man’s mouth is taped shut and tears can be seen streaming down his eyes. There is a noticeable stain where the guy sh!t his pant’s. The man starts flailing his legs*
FC – Who the hell is THAT?
S – That will be you in a minute. You don’t recognize that guy? He’s the crewman you guys paid off to make that trap door so you could scurry your sorry little a$$ through and F@#K up our match.
FC –
S – It’s starting to sink in, huh?
FC – What?
S – How bad this is going to be for you.
FC – So you’re going to what… murder me?
S – That's the plan so far. I'm making it up as I go along.
FC – You’re sad.
S – What.
FC – THIS is the BEST thing you could come up with? Kidnap me, probably torture me some, then murder me in COLD blood? How melodramatic of you. After that you’ll STILL be a no title havin, sad sack of a failed, jobless, OOWF worker who STILL can’t beat 3-Piece Set.
You don’t have the BALLS to go through with this, Stank. I’ve actually taken THAT step toward murder. Remember Seraph? I made him famous. Though not the way he wanted it to happen. He probably looks like Freddy Kruger right now, heh heh.
I look into your eyes and I can SEE that you don’t have what it takes to follow through on your threats, LEWKISS. You think that putz you got hanging up there scares me? HA!
You’re pathetic. Just untie me and let me go. Then I’ll go to Rick and plead for your job. A few beers, some time with Erlana and some whiskey might soothe his disposition. Don’t get me wrong. I’ll only do this of course just so I can ENJOY watching you LOSE to Ax & Cole AGAIN! HA!
NOW UNTIE ME DAMMIT!
S –
FC – I said UNTIE ME!
S – Firechild.
FC – WHAT!
S – You talk to much.
*Stank PUNCHES Firechild so hard it KNOCKS him to near unconsciousness! Firechild is again slumped over. Stank wraps another chain around the Onslaught Champion’s neck.*
S – Lock?
FF Capslock – Yeah.
S – How long have you been standing there?
FFC – Long enough. I’m not gonna let you do this. I hate the guy too but, this is not the way.
S – i HAVE to.
FFC – No… You don’t. Come with me partner. Leave this mess behind. I want to show you something.
S – I…
*Stank turns and looks at FF Capslock. There is a serene prescence about him that compells Stank to obey. Stank drops the chain and walks over to FFC. As they exit, Firechild get’s a glimpse of FFC. Having heard the brief conversation between Drink & Destroy, Firechild get’s a puzzled look on his face.*
Firechild - His eyes… … … Seraph?
Fade to black
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:48:18 GMT -5
A bruised and battered Firechild stumbles into the 3PS locker room to find AX & Cole engaged in their usual amusements.
Ax: What the hell happened to you man?
Cindy: Flame! Are you OK?
Firechild all but collapses into Cole's arms and mumbles...
FC: Stank......Seraph.
As he lapses into unconsciousness, he hears Ax & Cole rage about this development.
-----------------------------------
Some time later, Ax & Cole are in the GM's office demanding some recompenses for this heinous assault on an OOWF title holder, and also to ask about Seraph's condition due to Cole's concern about Firechild's semi-conscious ramblings.
GMtR: Well guys, much as I'd LOVE to accede to your demands, Stank has quit and is thus out of my jurisdiction. And as for Seraph, I was going to ask you the same question...
Cole: What the.....
GMtR:...... as he has been reported as missing from the private medical facility in Salt Lake City where we had sent him, and I was wondering if you sick puppies had tried to finish the job.
Ax & Cole respond with incredulity to this and a babble of argument ensues only broken by a quiet cough from the door.
Firechild stands there, imaclately attired in a new black shirt open to the chest, his hair hanging neat but dishevelled down to his shoudlers, his wounds neatly dressed, Cindy on his arm looking.....satisfied.
FC: General Manager Scaia, Sir. I have a request to make.
GMtR:You want your match cancelled?
FC: Not as such, but amended. Now, I don't have to defend my Onslaught title more often than every 28 days, and you'll remember that WE CAN enforce this stipulaton.
GMtR (through gritted teeth) : Go on.
FC: I'd like you to cancel that match, and frankly Gimmickman is an insult of an opponent, not a tenth of the force he once was in this company. Instead I would like you to reinstate Stank, and add myself to the tag title match either as a third member of 3PS or as, oh...special guest referee.
GMtR: Are you mental? Are you high? For one, the Onslaught title match is booked and advertised and Gimmickman is a vetrean and valued member of this roster. Two, Stank quit, attakced me and then perpetuated a viscious civil assault on a technician (under breath) and you which could have serious fiscal and media repercussions for this promotion, and lastly, I'm not putting D&D in a handicap situation against you guys. And apart from that I wanna know what you've done with Seraph.
Firechild smirks and tosses a folder onto his desk.
FC: I'm sure Seraph has crawled down a hole to die, and if that is your decision, I'm sure you'll be happy to know that the information contained in this folder, regarding your ......business dealings is in the hands of our lawyers and will be released to all OOWF employees and investors shrtly before bing handed to the media.
GMtR: What the fuck!
He starts to read and his face turns a shade of green.
FC: You do not understand.....but you will.....know what it is to burn, if you dont do exactly as I want.
Firechild grins and walks out, with Cindy on his arm, as Ax & Cole shoot each other somewhat concerned looks about their partners legal powerplay and somewhat dubious use of catchphrases.
Cole: Fuck it, this sounds like fun, lets get loaded and see what happens.
Ax: Another day in the life of the 3 Piece Set, nice to see the boy getting the hang of the lawyer thing......
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:48:47 GMT -5
Scene opens in blinding white light then... FIRE!
*FF Capslock & Stank SIT UP from the floor of their locker room at the same time. They look across the room at one another*
FFC - What... the... hell?
Stank - What? How did I get here? What's going on?
FFC - I remeber you were about to... Kill Firechild.
Stank - Yeah then you interrupted me, Somehow you talked me into going with you just when I was wondering if you had had too much of the sau... FIRECHILD! I left that sumbitch down in the BOILER ROOM!
FFC - WAIT! Forget all that! Let's go see Rick. I NEED you man! I can't fight 3-Piece Set by myself!
Stank - I ALREADY QUIT! Even if I hadn't, Rick will surely fire me for what I did to him?
*Rick sticks his head in the door*
GMtR - Stank, bygones. Just be ready for your HitC match... what are you two doing on the floor?
Stank - Wait a minute. You want me back?
GMtR - Not really but... You're an ass...set to the company. The OOWF needs you.
Stank - I don't understand.
GMtR - There's nothing to understand. I'm a forgiving sort when it comes to the almighty buck. So are you coming back?
Stank - Um... I sort of beat-up one of your staff... and Firechild... and left them tied up down in the boiler r...
GMtR - I know ALL about that. Bygones.
*Drink & Destroy give the GM a confused look*
Stank - I don't know WHY you're doing this but... ok. I'll come back.
GMtR - Good. But don't think for a second I haven't forgotten what you did to me. I'll have to think of an appropriate punishment.
FFC - OKaaay. Punishment later. I got my partner back! Now we can focus on getting our titles back and... there's that revenge thing going and... oh yeah, Rick. How about that DQ win?
GMtR - Ahhh... I just thought of the punishment.
FFC - Damn.
ads
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:49:10 GMT -5
[Attitude Adjuster and Johnny Adrenaline are walking thru the halls backstage, eating sandwiches.]
JA: That was fun. We need to sneak up behind people cutting lame promos all the time. [takes bite of sandwich]
AA: Johnny, that wasn't even worthy of being called a "promo." That was merely a... a... a pre-taped statement.
JA: Pre-taped? Think it'll get edited out of the show?
AA: Have they ever edited anything out of Midweek Mayhem?
JA: ...I don't think so.
AA: Point exactly, which is why we came here...
[AA and JA stand in front of a door with "Production" on the front of it.]
JA: Huh? I don't get it.
AA: Every single OOWF show ever is behind this door. It's like a library of wrestling footage. Matches, promos, you name it, it's in here.
JA: Even the Country Club Death Match?
AA: Shut the fuck up.
JA: Well, fine, but what's the point? Why are we here?
AA: Homework, Johnny. All the greats watch tape to find out what they're doing wrong and how they can improve on it. And scouting. Remember when guys used to come out and watch matches, WITHOUT doing "guest commentary," so they could study their opponent?
JA: Dude, that was like 20 years ago or something. That was before kayfabe got broken.
AA: Yeah, but whatever. I'm just saying, we steal some tapes, study up, and we'll bring 'em back.
JA: Okay...
[Johnny opens the door, flips on the light, and it's practically an empty room. Only two TV-sized boxes and a smaller box sit near the door. The two big boxes are filled almost to the top with marked videotapes. The other has a few issues of OOWF Magazine, Smark and Smoley's personnel files, Antoine Cutter's unpaid hospital bill, a 2004 SFJ calendar, some items off Ecosystem's old desk, and a Penthouse magazine addressed to a post office box in Dayton, Ohio.]
JA: [digging thru tapes] So, what are we looking for?
AA: [flipping thru Penthouse] Huh?
JA: I said, what are we... [turns around] ...give me that! [snatches magazine from AA]
AA: Hey!
JA: Nice! Man, I would...
AA: I was reading, man!
JA: I thought we were here to do homework or something. [tosses magazine back in box]
AA: Oh yeah, we need footage on Gator and Outback Jack. I ain't worried about Endo and Morte, I KNOW we can handle them.
JA: Yeah, the Aussie dudes are tough.
AA: And Wally B. King... Since when do good guys have managers?
JA: [pulls out a tape] What about this one?
AA: I think that's it.
JA: You want me to grab a couple of others just in case?
AA: Yeah, go ahead.
[JA and AA turn out the light and close the door.]
JA: Come on, let's go before someone see us.
AA: Not only are we gonna give The Team From Down Under a shitkicking of a lifetime, but we'll show them how product placement is REALLY done!
[Johnny walks down the hall with the tapes, and AA goes back in the room and grabs the Penthouse, then catches up with Johnny.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:49:39 GMT -5
[Scene opens with a closeup of Johnny Adrenaline, leaned up against a wall, talking on a cell phone. Unfortunately, we don't get the magic speaker phone gimmick, so we just have to go with what Johnny's saying.]
JA: ...No, two will be just fine. ... Of course, you can be here. ... Me and AA will see to it that you get a front row seat. ... If you're lucky, maybe Hardbody Harris will see you, sweep you away and make passionate love to you after the show. ... Great, thanks Melanie. Me and A.C. owe ya one. [click] Hardbody Harris... whatever.
[The shot pans out a little to reveal that Johnny's standing next to the production door from earlier. The door opens and Attitude Adjuster steps out.]
JA: Damn man, three minutes to put some tapes back in a box?
AA: Well, I... uh... I wanted to make sure they were in order. Ya know, in case anybody checks.
JA: Sure 'Tude...
AA: Man, I'll say this: after watching all that tape, I gotta say that Gator and Jack cut some pretty good promos... if we were in Australia! That accent sucks donkeyballs!
JA: I know. The accents completely screw up the promo. And speaking of promos, I made the call.
AA: And...?
JA: Well, I talked to Melanie down there and she said we can do it.
AA: How many'd you get?
JA: Just two, I figured that would be fine.
AA: Oh yeah. So when do we pick them up?
JA: We don't. She's bringing them here, and oughtta be here in a bit.
AA: Cool. I'm glad I stopped at the store on the way back here then.
[Shot pans completely out, and AA picks up a large brown grocery bag off the floor and the Chickenshit Heels walk away, AA with bag in hand and Johnny raising the roof as they turn the corner.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:51:24 GMT -5
<MHJ is walking down the hall, in one of his famous "moods" he rounds the corner and meets up with LD Williams and Eric O'Mac>
LDW: Moose, just the man we were looking for
MHJ: What's up LD?
LDW: Well we were just wondering what is the deal with this match? It is sort of out of the blue isn't it?
MHJ: Not really, me and Crete have had issues with SoulDragon and Mercury before, and Eric has a score to settle with Murder and Styner.
EOM: Bastards. Hey speaking of Crete, where is he anyway? I saw he accused you of turning him "evil" or whatever. Good job by the way
MHJ: Well, I wish I could take all the credit for that, but most of that was Niles and his bitch boys, and The Devil's Brigade. I'm not sure where he is now.
LDW: So after we leave the Evil Wizard's boys laying in blood, what then?
MHJ: Come on Williams, you know what this is, this is a warm up for Niles and his crew
LDW: Yeah, I saw him try to hit you with that chair last week, lucky for him you moved.
MHJ: Shit is gonna hit the fan, I know Niles and he isn't smart enough to leave well enough alone, he wants a war and he is gonna get it. He has no idea what he is in for
<Just then, The Evil Wizard leads his troops around the corner, Mikey, Murder, Mercury and SoulDragon.>
TEW: Well well, I see before me in the hallway the enemy I shall face in the ring. I hope you have all made peace with your gods, your time of reckoning is about to.....
With that Moose, LDW and ERic attack and brawl around the hallway with Wizard's boys. Since they have the numbers advantage Wizard's boys start to take control. Before they can do any real damage, Concrete shows up out of nowhere with a barbed wire baseball bat and cleans house. Wizard gathers his troops and retreats>
Concrete just stares blankly at the others, drops the bat and leaves.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:51:52 GMT -5
*Gator and Wally (with cane +2 against magic users) approach Johnny Adrenaline and AA near Flair's table*
JA: Hey, we're not going to have any trouble, are we?
AA: We just ordered our sandwiches.
RF: Whole wheat!!!! WHOOOO!!!!
WBK: Gator and I just came here for sandwiches too. We won't start anything.
JA: Wait a minute. You can't put anything over on us. *makes official fingertwirl-at-temple of heelish self-congratulation*
AA: You said "Gator and I", leading us to deduce that Outback is approaching us from behind for a sneak attack, thus losing the element of surprise.
GB: Actually, he'll be coming up behind you in a couple of minutes and perhaps he'll give you a couple of big Boomerangs.
JA: Amateurs!
AA: C'mon Johnny, let's take our superior intellects elsewhere.
*The Chickenshit Heels walk off*
*OBJ arrives carrying a bag filled with large styrofoam boomerangs with "TFDU" on one side and "OOWF" on the other*
OBJ: Did I just see AA and Johnny take off?
WBK: Right. Guess we can eat their sandwiches. *hands GB $20*
OBJ: What's that for?
GB: I bet Wally I could get them to leave without resorting to violence. After all, they are chickenshit heels, not that I'm telling you anything you don't already know.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 13, 2008 14:52:46 GMT -5
[Attitude Adjuster and Johnny Adrenaline are back at their locker room.]
JA: What, did they think we were stupid or something?
AA: Yeah, like we were gonna sit there and... WAIT!
JA: What?
AA: Our sandwiches... we never got them.
JA: Well, let's go get 'em. It's not like Naitch'll give us a hard time about it.
[The Chickenshit Heels stroll back down to the sandwich table.]
AA: Hey Naitch, we didn't get our sandwiches. Where are they at?
RF: Wally B. took 'em, big daddy! WHOOOO!!
JA: But they were our sandwiches!
RF: You left! You walked out! Finders keepers, losers weepers!! WHOOOOOO!!!
AA: Damn it, we can't cut a promo on an empty stomach. Come on, Johnny, let's go get...
[Before AA can finish his sentence, The TDFU attacks from behind, walloping AA over the head with the big bag of foam boomerangs. Adrenaline turns around and takes THE CHOMP~! Johnny is dead.]
WBK: What about some sandwiches, boys? [takes bite of sandwich]
GB: Told you they'd come back for them.
OBJ: [takes sip of his Foster's] That's Australian for "dumbass," mate.
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