OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Embarrass, Minnesota!
MARK VANDER vs. THE MINNESOTA MANGLERThe six foot, two hundred eighty pound TMM is already in the ring as MV makes his entrance. TMM goes right for the kill switch by propositioning MV.
“Hey man, we all know you’re a tough customer. But nobody and no one is tougher than the Minnesota Mangler. So I’m gonna give you two choices. Choice A, you get in this ring and I beat your ass. Choice 2, we call it a tie and go hang out with that sweet piece of ass Missy. Oh wait, she’s with Viper now, isn’t she?” MV charges the ring and spring boards in with a lariat that stumbles the big man. Despite the size advantage, TMM can’t get in any offense and MV goes nuts on him with a drop kick to the knee, a knee to the jaw, and a stiff kick to the face. TMM tries to bail, but MV leaps from the apron and drives TMM’s face into the ground with a bull dog. Dragging the larger man to his feet, MV is caught off guard with a back elbow to the stomach and a clothesline. TMM poses for a moment and tosses MV back in the ring. He goes for a lax cover and only gets two. He goes to pull MV up and he fires off half a dozen quick punches to TMM gut before hitting a jaw breaker and a standing Spinning DDT. TMM staggers to his feet just as MV rebounds off the ropes and catches him with a vile clothesline. In an amazing display of strength, a Heads Up~!!! Dragon Suplex nearly snaps TMM’s neck. To further prove he is ready for Viper, MV pulls the dazed TMM back to his feet and finishes him with a Sidewinder~!!! Thanks for playing TMM.
WINNER in 4:01 Mark Vander
BEAST vs. PHIL – Texas Bull Rope MatchBoth men have a 10 foot rope tied around their wrists, and on each end, there is one (1) standard professional wrestling metal cow bell, good for beating the snot out of your opponent. The only way to win the match is to touch all four corners before your opponent. The ref calls for the bell and Beast and Phil meet in the middle of the ring, grab the cow bells and proceed to beat the snot out of each other. With each shot we hear CLANG! CLANG! After a few shots, the crowd begins chanting NEEDS MORE COW BELL clap clap clapclapclap. Finally Phil gets the better of this and nails Beast in the head opening a gash above his eye. Beast staggers a bit and Phil scoops him up and slams him to the mat. Phil then tries a cybernetic people’s elbow, but as he hits the far ropes, Beast grabs the rope and yanks him to the mat. Beast gets to his feet and puts the boots to Phil; eventually Beast loops the rope around Phil’s head and pulls him to his feet and pounds away until Phil is backed into a corner. Beast grabs the cowbell and pummels Phil until the big man slumps in the corner. Beast turns around to taunt the crowd, not noticing the rope has now settled between his legs. Phil notices and grabs the rope and yanks. The cowbell crotches Beast and he falls to his knees. With Beast on his knees and gasping for breath, Phil climbs to the second rope, leaps off and hits Beast in the back of the head with a flying shining wizard! Beast may be dead! Phil loops the rope around Beast’s neck, then lifts Beast and throws him over his shoulder by the neck and starts around the ring. Phil ouches two corners, after the second corner, Beast begins to recover, Phil hits the third turnbuckle and heads for the win, Beast slides off of Phil’s back and grabs the ropes keeping Phil from hitting the last turnbuckle. Phil turns around to swing at Beast, but Beast ducks, grabs Phil and hits a choke slam! Now it is Beast’s turn to drag Phil around the ring. Beast makes it to three turnbuckles, but before he can make it to the fourth, Phil throws himself over the top rope! The momentum of Phil going over the top rope pulls Beast backward, stopping HIS momentum. Phil rolls back into the ring and starts around again touching the turnbuckles. He gets to three, behind him; Beast is also hitting the turnbuckles. As they head to the fourth one, Beast tries to get past Phil but he can’t. A double clothesline knocks both men to the mat. Phil rolls out one side, Beast out the other. They are on opposite sides of a ring post, as Beast is coming to, Phil grabs the rope and pulls as hard as he can pulling Beast into the steel post. Phil laughs; Beast recovers and does the same to Phil. The two take turns yanking each other into the ring post until they are both bloody messes. Phil gets an idea and knocks Beast into the post one last time; he then begins wrapping the rope around himself, shortening it up. Now there is less than three feet of rope between them, what is he thinking. Phil starts to climb up onto the apron, but Beast grabs a chair and slams it into the side of Phil’s leg, Phil loses his balance and falls off the mat and smacks his head on the floor. With the big man out, Beast is now free to roll back into the ring and touch the corner and win the match. BUT HE CAN’T! Phil is out cold on all the rope! Beast looks around and finds the Little Giant Ladder system! Beast sets it up and starts to climb the ladder, but he still can’t quite reach the turnbuckle. He climbs back down and using his amazing strength hefts Phil up on his shoulders, climbs up the ladder – and somehow it holds ALL THEIR WEIGHT - AMAZING! And touches the final turnbuckle giving Beast the win. Beast then falls backward with a Samoan Drop on the concrete floor
WINNER in 18:09 Beast
After the match, Beast pummels Phil even more bloody using THE LITTLE GIANT LADDER SYSTEM!!!!!
THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER vs. THE ESTABLISHMENT vs. SOULDRAGON & MERCURYSD and GB start things off with some fast paced mat work and all is well until SD remembers that he’s technically a heel and thumbs the eyes. STO puts GB down and Mercury tagged in. Lots of kicks to the face and stomping before he tags SD back in and hits a snap suplex. As Mercury holds on, SD spring boards in with a knee drop to the sternum for two. SD locks in a double under hooks, knees GB in the chest twice, then lifts him for a butterfly chest buster for two. As he argues with the ref, Morte blind tags in. SD glares at him, but allows him in the ring. GB fights back in the confusion, but Morte counters a clothesline into a crucifix pin for two. Morte hits a tilt-a-whirl sternum breaker and tags in Endo. Endo stomps away at his chest and goes for a bow and arrow submission. OBJ breaks that up and Endo tags Morte in again. GB fights his way free and lunges towards a corner where he tags in SD. SD has no love lost for the Establishment and immediately boots Morte in the stomach and backs him into the corner with a flurry of forearm strikes. He snap suplexes Morte out of the corner holds on and drops him with a front sit out suplex for 2. Mercury tagged in and Morte scurries and tags in OBJ. OBJ steam rolls over Mercury and abuses him with a couple of power moves including a delayed vertical suplex for 2. GB back in and after a quick bit of double teaming, GB pounds away on Morte. Morte gets desperation DDT out of nowhere and tags Endo back in. Endo and GB exchange punches, but Endo sneaks in a kick to the knee and a rude knee to the jaw for a two count. GB manages to fight out of a suplex attempt with a neck breaker. Both men down and GB crawls to OBJ. OBJ in and he runs past Endo and clubs Morte off the apron. Endo ducks a wild lariat and tags SD in. Mercury grabs Endo and kills him with a DDT on the outside. Morte retaliates with a big boot and a leg drop from the apron to the floor. Meanwhile OBJ is getting the better of SD until EW grabs OBJ’s foot. OBJ turns to look at him and SD hoists the big man up with an OMEN DRIVER~!!! EW presence is still distracting the ref and SD gets up to tell him to get to away from the ring. EW has a few words for SD and GB sneaks up and well you guessed it, commits voluntary manslaughter with a Homicidal version of the CHOMP~!!!. The ref finally turns around just as GB pulls OBJ on top and then runs past him to dive onto all the bystanders outside the ring. Ref counts the three and we’ll assume SD will not be happy with this when he comes too.
WINNERS in 17:04 The Team From Down Under
After the match, Wizard gets into the ring and berates SoulDragon. Dragon just hangs his head for a moment, then Wiz slaps him across the face. SD goes nuts and grabs Wiz. Mercury gets involved and pulls SD off of Wizard and tries to smooth things over, but Wizard will have none of it, he starts berating Wizard as well. Finally both men reach their boiling points and knock Wizard out of the ring, before they can pursue the fight, Dr. Murder and Mikey Styner hit the ring, the four men brawl for a moment, but then SD and Merc get the better of it and send Mikey, Murder and Wiz scurrying to the back
THIM REYNOLDS vs. HELLIONReynolds and Hellion each have confused looks on their faces as they enter the ring. They each pull a piece of paper from their trunks and compare notes, confer, point at each other’s sheet, nod, shrug and fold up their respective sheets. Thim asks for the microphone. Hellion stands just behind Thim.
“It seems that while this is an Onslaught Rules Match, it seems the Booker gave this match to a writer with little knowledge of work rate wrestling. A writer, dare we say, who’s more use to writing garbage wrestling for lowlifes like Phil and Beast. Therefore, we want you, the fans, to know before we start this match that the following is NOT OUR FAULT!!”
With that, Reynolds clobbers Hellion with the microphone, sending Hellion sprawling. But because the bell had yet to sound, there’s no DQ. The ref now calls for the bell, warning Thim. But Thim pulls out his sheet of paper and points to it. The ref looks, nods and shrugs, but still warns Thim not to do it again. Thim shrugs, then proceeds to work on Hellion’s ankle. Hellion sells as if his foot were ripped off, and TR aggressively attacks the ankle for the next couple of minutes. Hellion is quickly unable to support himself. Thim pulls Hellion to the ring post and wraps his leg around the post back toward the ring. The ref calls for a break, and Thim breaks just before the five count. Hellion bails, but Thim still advances and Hellion limps back into the safety of the ring. Hellion pops to his feet, tries to run the ropes but is hammered with a clothesline. Thim laughs and slowly pulls Hellion up by the hair, but is met with a series of comeback chops. Hellion grabs Thim by the neck and somehow pulls out a DDT!!! Both men down! Thim recovers first, grabs the leg, but Hellion small package! 1, 2, kickout! Thim whips Hellion to the ropes, clothesline is ducked, Hellion with a twisting leg attack! Hellion starting to feel it but still limping, hits a pair of forearm uppercuts and a Hellion-can-rana!!!! Hellion limps over for the pin…1, 2, 3 NO! Thim just kicks out. Hellion getting frustrated, goes to the top rope. You have to be kidding me! Flying leg drop! Misses!!! Thim just rolls out of the way. Hellion grabs the ankle and has a seizure, and that’s all that Thim needs as he grabs the ankle and twists hard. Hellion has no choice but to tap out.
Winner in 13:58, Thim Reynolds.
DR. MURDER & MIKEY STYNER(w/The Evil Wizard) vs. DRINK & DESTROYMurder and Mikey attack before the bell and club Capslock and Stank down to one knee. Mikey and Murder both hit the ropes and charge for the knockout shot. Capslock and Stank spring to their feet, Capslock back drops Murder over the top rope to the floor, Stank grabs Mikey by the throat for a choke slam, but can’t lift him. FFC helps and the two lift the massive Styner off his feet and slam him to the mat. Styner rolls to the outside of the ring and the former champs celebrate in the middle of the ring. As Murder and Mikey regroup, Wizard gets on the apron and taunts the big men, questioning their man hood for not being able to hold on to the titles. As FFC and Stank lunge for Wiz, Mikey and Murder get back into the ring. Mikey hits a running Fire Elbow on Capslock that knocks him between the ropes. Dr. Murder locks on the key lock and takes Stank to the mat. Mikey Styner leaves the ring and waits on the apron for FFC to get to his feet, as FFC stands up, in one swift motion he grabs the ring steps and tosses them at MS. We hear an incredible BONG as the steps bounce off of MS dome. Inside, Stank makes it to the ropes forcing Murder to break the hold. As Stank gets to his feet, Murder attempts a pile driver. Needless to say, it doesn’t work. Stank reverses it into an Alabama slam. Stank pulls Murder to his feet and whips him into the corner and connects with a big splash, then follows that up with a clothesline that nearly decapitates Dr.M. On the outside again, Mikey Styner is on the apron holding himself up after the Capslock stairs shot, FFC rights the steps, climbs to the top of the stairs, somehow puts the massive Mikey Styner on his shoulders and leaps off the apron, both men crash through the Azerbijinian Announce table! OH MY GOD! The ref sees the carnage and immediately goes to check on the two possibly dead wrestlers. Meanwhile, inside the ring Stank lifts a dazed Murder for the Stank-U, The Evil Wizard tries to interfere by slamming a chair across his back. It barely registers. Stank drops Murder and grabs Wizard who drops the chair and begs for his life. Stank grabs Wizard and gives him a pit stop. As Wizard staggers around the ring Stank grabs him and hoists him up for the Stank-U, when he turns around with Wiz, Microplay hits the ring and DESTROYS Stank wit ha chair shot between the eyes! Stank hits the mat, out cold. Microplay leaves the ring pulling Wizard to the outside with him. MP grabs the Wizard’s cane and slams Capslock with it, right between the eyes. Inside the ring, Dr. Murder gets to his feet, hits a coroner splash in the corner, then locks on the Flatline (Rings of Saturn) the ref sees Stank is out cold and calls for the bell.
WINNERS in 14:44 Dr. Murder & Mikey Styner
After the match, Microplay rolls Capslock back into the ring, grabs the chair and starts pummeling both members of D & D. Mikey and Murder pull the former champs upright just to have them leveled by another chair to the head. As Murder and Mikey grab chairs of their own and set up for a three way con-chair-to, we hear another familiar BONG! The lights go out, and when they come back on, UnderDawg is in the ring. Wizard’s crew try to attack, but UD knocks them all down with big rights. They scurry out of the ring, leaving only Wizard. He tries to run, but ends up eating a big choke slam. Microplay pulls the unconscious Wizard out of the ring and flees to the back. Inside the ring UD, Capslock and Stank celebrate with a few conveniently placed beers
CANADIAN DRAGON vs. UNCLE ENTITY(w/Jesse Garron) The ref informs us that both men have agreed to waive the Onslaught rules for this match and agreed to a straight wrestling match. Both men circle cautiously and lock up. They have but on clinics thus far, no reason to expect anything different tonight. The match starts out fairly slow paced, both men careful not to make the first mistake. Canadian Dragon gets the first near fall after he reverses an Entity suplex attempt into a half nelson suplex and a bridge. UE kicks out at two and now Dragon is on the offensive. Dragon works over Entity’s neck, trying to soften him up for the Canadian Destroyer, after several minutes, CD attempts the move, but UE grabs the ropes and holds on, instead CD turns it into a sunset flip roll up, UE rolls through and KILLS Dragon with a clothesline. Now UE takes over and works over CD, dropping knees across his chest and sending him hard into the corner hoping to soften him up for the Crucifix. Sensing he is almost finished, UE pulls CD up and whips him to the ropes Dragon ducks the clothesline attempt by Entity and hits the ropes, springing off the middle rope, he turns in mid air and catches UE with a Dragon kick right to the side of the head. Entity falls to the mat hard; CD gets up, looks around for a moment and then starts to climb the ropes. As he gets to the top, Jesse Garron distracts him for a moment; Dragon kicks Garron in the face, knocking him to the floor. The distraction was just enough for UE to get to his feet, run over and knock CD to the floor wit ha drop kick to the mouth! UE takes a moment to clear the cob webs then Entity slides out of the ring and picks up a dazed Canadian Dragon and hits him with a Juvi driver on the floor. UE then rolls CD onto the Sumatran Announce Table. Entity runs around to the opposite side of the ring and looks for something under the ring. He pulls out a 15 foot high ladder and slides it into the ring. Dragon begins to stir on the outside. Uncle Entity slides out of the ring and pulls CD off the table and drops him with a DDT on the floor, then rolls him back onto the table. Inside the ring, UE sets up the ladder in the corner and starts to climb. Once he gets to the top, he turns around and hits a SPECTACULAR moonsault off the top of the ladder through the table, driving both men through the table to the floor! The crowd erupts in HOLY SHIT chants! The ref checks on both men to make sure they are still breathing, they are, somehow, so he gets back into the ring and starts a rather fast ten count. To no one’s surprise, neither man moves and the ref counts both men out
WINNER – double count out in 22:59
UNDERDAWG & wCw vs. THE DEVIL’S BRIGADE, DONOVAN VIPER & CORAXViper and his cronies enter the ring first. TO and HC are still pretty heavily bandaged after last weeks war with Moosey and Crete, but they seem to be full of piss and vinegar just as usual. Camby neck is heavily bandaged, as hit TO’s ribs and head. wCw’s music hits and they begin to walk their way down the aisle making sure to be good faces and slap the hands of fans. This good show of facedom is cut short when the bandaged TDB and Corax attack in the aisle way while DV laughs his ass off in the ring. HC and JW are throwing haymakers, Cpaellan and Corax are trading kicks and TW nails TO with a standing Dropkick after ducking a wicked left hook. . Viper is still in the ring by himself when UD appears out of nowhere and starts nailing DV with soup bones. Viper gets the better hand after a low blow. Wilder comes out of nowhere to help UD but eats a stick kick to the mouth and is down Camby disposes of JW and begin pounding away on UD with viper until Capellan makes the save with a double clothes lines. Things finally get squared away and Cap and HC are left in the ring and everyone is in their corners.
Camby quickly over powers Capellan and nails him with a running power slam that gets two before JW breaks up the count. Cap escapes more punishment and tags in JW and he and campy again begin trading haymakers until JW nails HC with a DDT. Cover is broken up by Viper and all hell breaks loose. Guys begin squaring off again. Capellan clotheslines Corax over the tope rope and then launches his self off the top turnbuckle with a palncha taking him and Corax out. TO, Camby and viper have the upper hand until DV gets back flipped out of the ring by UD. Then JW nails TO massive clothes line, picks the wiry Irishman up on his shoulders and climbs to the top turnbuckle. JW with a DVD on TO to the FLOOR!!!!. TO is dead!!!! with Camby is left alone in the ring with UD and Wilder. Dawg and Camby trade punches and when UD has the upper hand Wilder scurries to the outside and pulls a ladder into the ring. UD Hits the old school of Camby and a choke slam. Wilder is up top and flies off the top with a 450 splash aimed at Camby. IN mid flight Viper is back in and nails Dawg with a baseball bat to the back of the skull. Wilder hits the 450, but then is nailed with a bat to the skull. Viper picks up wilder and nails hit with a sidewinder. Cover and 1,2,3 Its academic as JW is a ½ second to late to break up the count.
Winner by pin fall at 11:23, The Devils Brigade, Corax and Donnie Viper.
GIMMICKMAN vs. FIRECHILD – OOWF Onslaught Championship MatchGimmickMan’s music hits, but he is nowhere to be seen. It plays again, and we wait….and wait…..and wait, but no GimmickMan. The referee looks a little confused so he tells the ring announcer to announce Firechild. FC’s music hits and he slowly saunters out to the ring, title firmly strapped around his waist, and blood on his hands. FC laughs and shows off a bloody lead pipe that he pulls out from behind his back. The crowd boos at this latest act of savagery from the 3Piece Set member. Firechild gets to the ring and grabs the mic:
FC: I hate to disappoint all you folks in Minnesota…..hell who am I kidding, I could care less about you worthless people. I WAS going to come out here and put on a clinic of chain wrestling, counter holds, high spots, the whole nine yards just to show you that I am the greatest wrestler the OOWF has ever seen. I was gonna do all that, but then I stopped, and I thought, what the hell has ANYone from Minnesota done do deserve that kind of display? Not a damn thing. <the fans start chanting for Seraph, which seems to annoy Firechild for a moment, he storms around the ring, covers his ears, then stops, gets an evil smirk on his face then looks down at the mat and speaks very coldly and very deliberately> You can cheer for him all you want. He’s not coming out now, he’s not coming out next week, <looking directly at the camera> He’s not coming back….ever. You heard me right. Seraph….is….gone. <crowd boos lustily, FC soaks it up for a few minutes, then continues>So like I was saying, I got to thinking, what to do, what to do? So, I’m backstage pondering my dilemma when I happen to notice this here lead pipe. The wheels start turning, I get to thinking, and then it hits me. Since that fool Seraph doesn’t seem to like the hospital accommodations here in Minnesota, I thought I would send GimmickMan to the hospital and see what he thinks of it. <Laughing> so right about now, they are probably finding good old Gimmick, and I would think he will be on his way to one of Minnesota’s finest medical facilities within a few minutes. So ref, why don’t you just go ahead and start that count. He ain’t comin’ to the ring.The starts the count, as he reaches ten, the houselights go on, then intensify in brightness. The light keeps getting brighter and brighter until the entire arena is bathed in blinding white light. Just then a familiar serene music begins to play. After a minute or so of this the music fades, and the lights dim until darkness envelops the arena. After a few seconds of utter darkness, the lights come back on. The fans expect to see Seraph in the middle of the ring, but it is just Firechild standing there laughing uncontrollably to himself.
You know, everyone told me the folks in Minnesota were idiots, I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, until this. I TOLD you he wasn’t coming back. Seraph is gone, and you Podunk idiots are gonna have to just get used it, just like how you need to get used to me being the Onslaught Champion, this belt ain’t going anywhere.Firechild tosses the mic to the ref and leaves the ring
WINNER by count out in :10 Firechild
Firechild walks up the ramp and stops at the top to pose with the title. As he stops and looks skyward holding his title out, he gets no reaction. No cheers, no boos, there is nothing, just an awkward deafening silence as the arena goes silent. Just then something red drips onto his forehead. Firechild wipes it off and looks around. He takes a few steps toward the ring and looks up. Written in what appears to be blood on the OOtron is a message for Firechild
"Vengeance... You don't understand.... I know what it's like to burn... do you? Soon you will..."[/i]
Firechild goes pale and trembles slightly. He clutches his title to his chest and escapes through to the back.
BLACKDRAGON vs. LD WILLIAMS vs. ERIC O’MAC vs. MR. JEALOUS – OOWF Intercontinental Title MatchEach man comes to the ring with their intro music, causing a 10-minute delay in the proceedings. Blackdragon comes out last (because he’s the champ), hands the belt to the ref and shakes hands with LD Williams and Eric O’Mac. LD and Eric O’Mac also shake hands. Mr. Jealous watches all this and slowly looses his cool. He finally stomps over to the trio and puts his hand out to shake. All three faces stare at MJ’s hand, but none move to shake. MJ stomps on the canvas and extends his hand forcefully, but again none of the faces reach to shake. Finally, LDW reaches out and grabs MJ’s hand. At the same moment EOM and BD hit dropkicks to MJ’s knees, and the big man goes down in a heap. The trio puts the boots to MJ, dropping him to the floor. For the time being, this looks like a triple threat match, but none of the three look interested in throwing down with the others. Looks like Rock/Paper/Scissors might decide this. LD has a rock; BD has paper; EOM has a rock. BD steps back and EOM and LD go at it. A few minutes of hot chain wrestling follows, with a couple awesome high spots thrown in for good measure. But who really cares about that, right? While LD and EOM go at it, BD slides out of the ring and looks for MJ. MJ, however, is around the ring post behind BD, and crushes BD with the MONSTER!!!! MJ rolls back into the ring and sees the winded state of LD and EOM and quickly takes charge with numerous high-impact moves. Finally, with LDW incapacitated, Jealous locks on the Love Hurts on EOM in the center of the ring. Could Jealous take the title before the biggest PPV of the year? Yeah, right. Blackdragon saves the day (and his title) with a flying elbow drop from the top rope, then locks on his own version of Love Hurts on Jealous!! LD breaks that up, then sees an injured EOM…and goes for the pin! One, two…EOM kicks out, but has a look of anger on his face. LDW shrugs and attacks MJ. This has really turned into a free-for-all! No rules, just right! Backstage, Outback Jack is filing a copyright infringement case. Eventually MJ, LDW and BD are all outside the ring, just so we can watch Eric O’Mac hit a huge plancha onto the trio BECAUSE HE CAN! What, you expected Mr. Jealous to pull off the move? All four men down, MJ is the first up, and he goes looking for plunder. He finds BD’s belt and sneaks back to the three faces. But there’s only two, as LDW gathered himself, grabbed a chair and is behind MJ. Jealous swings at BD, but the champ ducks. LDW swings at MJ, but he ducks too, and LDW’s chair collides with EOM’s head!!!!! LD can’t believe what’s he done, and BD takes the opportunity to dropkick LD’s chair into his own face. BD admires his work, only to turn around and eat a face full of belt from the recovered MJ!!!! Mr. Jealous is the only one standing, and there’s the bell. Whatthehell??
In 19:28, the referee has thrown out this match. It is ruled a NO CONTEST!!!
Upon hearing the decision, MJ grabs the chair and the belt and starts assaulting anything that moves. LD takes a chair shot and is busted open. EOM gets up only long enough to take a HUGE MONSTER onto the concrete. The ref stands between MJ and the still fallen BD, and pays for his chivalry with a choke slam against the ring post!!!! Finally, the usual support crew in suits and ties come out to pull MJ to the back.
3PIECE SET vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK & CONCRETE TG – OOWF World Tag Team Title MatchAll four are still showing the effects of their wild brawls last week. Concrete and Cole start out. Collar and elbow tie up; Cole gets the first shot in with a forearm to Concrete’s mouth. Crete falls to one knee and wipes the blood from his mouth. Cole looks smug, until Concrete takes him off his feet with a European uppercut. Concrete mounts Cole and pounds away with shots to the face. CTG pulls Cole up and sends him to the ropes and connects with a diving clothesline. Crete yanks Cole up and sends him to their corner and tags in Moose. Moose comes in and lays a couple of knees into Col’s midsection, then when the ref turns his attention to Ax, Jack pops Cole in the mouth with a right jab and bites his forehead. The ref turns back around so Jack stops biting Cole, Cole staggers out of the corner and Jack hits the ropes and destroys Cole with a clothesline. Cover is broken up at two by Ax-Man. Jack starts to go after Ax, but then focuses on Cole instead. Jack pulls Cole up to his feet and hits a high back body drop, then climbs to the second rope and drops an elbow across his chest. Jack covers again; Ax starts to run in, but Concrete charges into the ring and stops him. Cole is still able to kick out at two, and now all four men brawl in the ring. Ax hits Concrete with a low blow and throws him between the ropes. Jack just gets to his feet and is waiting on Cole to get up, Ax charges across the ring and hits MHJ with a high knee right between the shoulder blades. Jack staggers forward and Cole catches him with a T-Bone suplex, covers and gets a two count. Cole pulls Jack over to their corner and they take turns double teaming Jack for a long stretch. They work on MHJ’s leg, slamming it into the ring post and dropping knees across the knee from the middle rope. Ax comes in and locks on the figure four. Jack tries to fight it, tries to turn it and almost has it reversed, but then Ax applies more pressure and Jack falls back to the mat. Concrete starts to come in, bringing Cole into the ring and the ref to Cole. Concrete runs into the ring and hits a shining wizard on Cole as he is sitting with the figure four locked on. Ax falls back, dazed, and Jack is able to reverse the figure four. Ax reaches for the ropes but can’t get anywhere. Cole makes the save by coming in and dropping an elbow across MHJ’s neck. The hold is now broken and both men are down. Each one claws his way to the opposite corner, desperate to make a tag. Ax tags first and grabs Jack’s leg and tries to pull him back into the middle of the ring, Jack rolls on his side and kicks Cole in the face, then lunges and makes the tag to Concrete. Concrete flies into the ring and the two brawl wildly. The ref can’t stay out of the way and takes an elbow from Cole on a reversal of a Concrete suplex. Now the trouble starts. Cole tries a belly to back suplex, but Concrete flips over his shoulder, Concrete grabs Cole, in a side Russian leg sweep type hold, but instead of finishing the move, CTG tags in Jack and they hit a double heart punch on Cole! Cole falls to his knees gasping for breath. Concrete attacks Ax and they fall off the apron to the floor. The ref is out, Cole is out. As Jack tries to revive the ref The Devil’s Brigade hit the ring, Jack turns around and eats a Triple Six! Jack is dead. Now Camby tries to revive the ref, but before he can wCw hits the ring with chairs and take out TDB, they brawl out of the ring and back up the ramp. Meanwhile, Ax-Man rolls back into the ring, notices the ref is out, grabs a chair and waits for Concrete to get to his feet. As he does The Team From Down Under hit the ring and DESTROY Ax with the Call of the Wild! For good measure GatorBait hits the Chomp on Cole! He is dead too! As TDFU leave the ring, they are ambushed by Adrenaline and AA! Johnny splatters Gator’s head with a steel chair, and AA drops OBJ on the concrete with a DDT. Inside the ring, three men are out. Concrete slowly climbs to the top rope, setting up a flying elbow on Ax, Johnny and AA see this and jump on the apron. Concrete connects with a boot to AA’s face that sends him flying off the apron, but before he can get to Johnny, Johnny shoves him off the top and Crete goes flying through the Moroccan Announce Table! Endo and Morte come to the ring carrying their Sioux Warrior straps, and proceed to whip the snot out of Johnny and AA and send them running. By now Jack is starting to get to his feet, Cole and Ax are already up and they give Jack the double running knee to the head. Once again Jack is dead. Ax tries to revive the ref, Cole makes the cover, Concrete is just starting to stir on the outside. When all looks lost, Drink & Destroy hit the ring! Then hit the Pound of Flesh on both Cole and Ax and leave them lying in the ring, out cold. Jack gets to his feet, and lock eyes with Capslock and Stank, they sort of nod and leave the ring. When Jack turns around he gets DESTROYED by Niles Anderson with a chair to the head. The force of the chair shot opens a huge gash on Jack’s head and knocks him almost out cold. Niles pulls Jack up and sets him up for the SteeDDT but before he can hit it, Concrete leaps from the top rope with a clothesline that destroys Niles. Niles and Concrete fall out of the ring. Jack crawls across the ring and drapes his arm across Ax. The ref finally comes to and starts the count. Chris Cole tries to make the save, but from the outside LD Williams grabs his leg and keeps him from breaking up the cover. The ref counts three and it is OVER!
WINNERS in 33:92 AND NEW OOWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS – Moosehead Jack & Concrete TG
After the match, Jack and Concrete celebrate in the center of the ring. LD Williams and the Establishment raise their arms in victory. Moose climbs to the top turnbuckle and glares at Niles and shows him his newly won half of the tag team titles. Niles seethes and backs away from the ring to the back.
NILES ANDERSON vs. MICROPLAY – OOWF World Heavyweight Title MatchChallenger out first, as usual. He waits in the ring for Niles, and when The Specimen’s music hits he anticipates him coming down the ramp. Instead, Niles blindsides him from out of the crowd and the match is on! Brawling to start, as Niles looks to want to keep Microplay off his back once and for all. Punches to the head and then Niles backs him into the corner with a blatant choke. Ref counts four, Niles lets up, and is right back at it. Another four count and Niles shrugs off the ref and delivers a huge stomp to Microplay’s sternum. Foot to the neck and the ref has to break it up again. Niles backs up and turns his back on MP to argue with the ref. In the meantime, MP gets up and Niles turns around into a vicious clothesline. MP is slow to get up, but he still stumbles to his feet before Niles does. Slide slam gets two, but MP cinches in an arm breaker. Niles scrambles to the ropes. MP releases the hold, and both men are up, circling each other for the first time. MP sneaks under a Niles lunge and dropkicks him in the back, sending Niles to the ropes. MP runs off the far rope and does his jump-over-the-top-rope-and-slam-his-opponent’s-neck-into-the-rope move that looks so cool. Niles bounces back onto the mat, but MP grabs him and pulls him out of the ring. Standard outside brawling as MP realizes he needs to take it to another level to win this championship. MP goes for a dropkick on the outside, but Niles ducks and MP hits the ground hard. Niles takes advantage of this and goes for the Precision Incision on the outside. That, my friends, hurts. MP is in pain, and Niles takes advantage of this to roll him into the ring. Niles hits a spine buster that gets two. Some more brawling and Niles locks in a full nelson. IN the meantime, Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster come down to ringside to check on their man: it looks like they want him going to Hell on Earth as champion. They watch as Niles releases the hold and manhandles MP a bit, slapping him around and just kind of humiliates the smaller challenger. MP, though, catches a fire and starts shouldering NA in the gut. Once, twice, three times. Off the ropes and flying Jalepeno from MP. The guys on the outside are getting worried. MP is taking it hard to Niles, hitting a pair of flying head scissors and bringing the larger opponent down. MP hits a top rope dropkick and immediately heads back up top. Flying Elbow? JA doesn’t like the looks of this and jumps up on the ropes. The ref runs over and tries to get him off of them. IN the meantime, AA runs over to the other side as Microplay hits a GORGEOUS flying elbow to Niles’ sternum. He’s OUT. The cover would get 3, but the ref is distracted. Plus, AA drags him out and BLUDGEONS MP with a chair. Of course, this causes the Evil Wizard’s crew to come out, and we’ve got a little brawl. Beast runs out to add to the numbers. Team Niles and Team Wizard are in total chaos! In the meantime, Niles is still down in the ring. The Wizard runs over and pulls the unconscious MP in the ring and drapes him over Niles, and then runs out of the ring. As the ref comes over, Niles “wakes up” and reverses the cover. MP doesn’t even hear the 3 count. WINNER in 17:21 Niles Anderson
HARDBODY HARRIS & CHRIS ALT vs. JOHNNY ADRENALINE & ATTITUDE ADJUSTERCA and HH sprint to the ring and the proverbial donny brook commences. CA drops JA with a drop kick and JA rolls to the outside. CA then turns to HH stomping on AA and the both hoist AA into a military press and throw him onto JA. The crowd is going BANANA as the ref gets HH to leave and CA starts the match off proper with JA.
CA outwrestles JA with his quickness and keeps JA off guard. AA offers to step in and JA gives him a quizzical look before tagging him in. AA gets roughly the same treatment and even gets caught with two flash pins that nearly end the match. AA looks bewildered and goes to lock up again before booting CA in the gut and beating him down with some clubbing blows. He puts the boots to CA then stops to smile. He picks CA up and CA knocks his hands away. CA lays into AA with some hard punches and chops before blasting him in the face with a high drop kick. CA grabs an arm bar, then twists the arm a few times and throws in a few elbows before tagging in HH. AA wrenches free and runs to his corner and tags in JA. JA shakes his head and goes mano y mano with the Number 1 Face In The OOWF. A little back and forth between the combatants leads to HH taking control and sending JA into the corner. Big clothesline nearly takes JA up and out of the ring. HH with the corner punches and at nine, jumps down and thumbs JA in the eye. AA screams at the ref for allowing such a grievous transgression as CA is tagged back in.
CA nails JA with a spring board forearm right to the mush. He snapmares JA into a seated position then blasts him in the face with a drop kick. CA kips up and immediately hits a rolling senton splash, pops back up and hits a Lion Sault for two. CA chops away at JA before getting his eyes raked. He stumbles into a neutral corner and manages to avoid a JA lariat. Beautiful twisting shin kick puts JA down and AA in the ring to break up the count with a boot to the back of CA’s head. That brings HH inside. AA demands the ref take action and to keep HH away from him then AA pretends to step out as the ref makes HH go back to his corner. This allows AA to run over to CA and hit him with an axe handle to the back of the head. Now outside the ring, AA cheers on his partner as JA puts the boots to CA. JA pulls him to his feet only to short arm clothesline him back down. Tag to AA who does a little strut and drops a knee across CA’s face. He pulls CA up as if trying to apply a chin lock, but opts to gouge his eyes for two counts of four. JA back in and he tags CA’s ribs with a few place kicks before making the mistake and setting up elaborately for the final kick. As he charges in, CA sweeps him off his feet and JA takes a nasty fall chin first to the mat. CA with the slow crawl and AA dashes across the ring and grabs CA’s leg. Enziguri ducked, but CA swings his leg back in the opposite direction and connects. JA has enough time to recover though and puts CA down with an admittedly impressive drop kick. Quick tags isolate CA for a few minutes including a personal favorite heel spot where one guy distracts the ref while the other chokes the face out with the tag rope. I knew those things were good for something. HH gets the crowd hype (am I that old and out of touch with pop culture?), and CA fights his way out of the corner. AA reaches in to grab him, but CA elbows him in the mouth then rolls under JA’s lariat and makes the tag to HH who is a SUPERIOR HOUSE OF FIRE. JA eats a big right hand. AA gets knocked off the apron. Huge back body drop on JA. JA staggers to his feet and catches a chest full of chops and snap suplex for his troubles. HH going up top and connects with the No. 1 Axe Handle in the business. JA looks to be done and the crowd chants “One More Time. One More Time” in unison. HH obliges them and climbs up again. AA doesn’t care much for what the fans think they want and shoves HH off the ropes. They put the boots to HH and as the ref tries to regain order, CA launches himself into a drop kick that catches both men in the back. CA helps his bestest buddy up and soon all four men brawling. CA and HH are getting the better of the chicken shit heels. HH takes AA to the outside with a clothesline and CA drops JA with a super kick. HH points to AA and CA dives over the top with a suicide dive. Unfortunately, CA misses and hits his head on the guardrail. Evil ass Attitude Adjustment on the floor follows the miscue. Meanwhile, HH gets a two count following a BG Memorial Face Plant~!!! He signals for the To Be Edited In Later~!!! but AA jumps in to distract him. HH easily dispenses of him with some quick punches and a toss to the outside, but turns right into a kick to the sack from a MASKED MAN! With Harris doubled over in pain, Johnny follows it with a DDT and just in case, JA holds the tights for three.
WINNERS in 25:41 Attitude Adjuster & Johnny Adrenaline
After the match, Johnny and AA celebrate with the masked man on the outside of the ring, as they back up the ramp, the masked man pulls off his mask and reveals that it is The Evil Wizard! Johnny and AA turn around in shock; Alt and Harris throw AA into the ring and take turns beating Johnny down on the outside. Wizard gets into the ring and tells the ref to call for the bell
ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. THE EVIL WIZARDWiz gets a couple of shots in on Johnny who is on his knees begging off. Wizard looks possessed and pursues AA. AA escapes by low blowing Wizard. Alt and Harris see this and roll into the ring to tell the ref what happened. Then it all breaks down. AA attacks Alt from behind, when Harris turns around, another masked man is standing there with a chair and slams it across his face. Johnny Adrenaline gets back into the ring and helps put the boots to Alt. Wizard gets back to his feet, and seems just fine…IT’S A SET UP! He calls his men to the ring, Dr. Murder and Mikey Styner, hit the ring and they add to the beat down. The masked man pulls off the mask revealing NILES ANDERSON! Niles pulls off his hoodie and takes off the world title around his waist. Niles directs traffic for a bit, Mikey Styner CRUSHES the super friends with big splashes. They pull Alt to his feet and Niles slams him between the eyes with the belt. AA slaps on the claw for good measure. Adrenaline picks up Harris and nearly breaks his neck with an Adrenaline Rush, then pulls him up so Niles can slam him with the title as well. Harris is busted wide open, as is Alt. Before they can cripple them, UnderDawg, Drink & Destroy hit the ring with chairs and chains and clear them out.
WINNER – No Contest in :56
The camera focuses on a bloody unconscious Chris Alt and Hardbody Harris, then pans up to a victorious Niles Anderson, a deranged look on his face, holding his title up high for all to see
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