(Part 2 - The Imperial Onslaught)
Ross: Ok, it’s time for the main event, a 40 man Imperial Onslaught!
Razz: The rules are simple, two men start, then every 90 seconds another guy comes into the ring. The only way to be eliminated is to be thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the floor
Ross: When we get down to our final four contestants that Hell in the Cell will be lowered and they will battle it out in the cell. In there, only pin falls or submissions count.
Razz: The winner will be declared the number one contender to the OOWF world title and get a shot at some point in the future.
Ross: Razz, I know it is hard to handicap these things, but who do you like?
Razz: Well Phil, simply for his massive size, but then you got guys like Beast and UnderDawg who are powerful enough to put him out. I think it will be someone scrappy and small, someone who escapes notice. I am going for Capellan
Ross: I am not going to argue against that pick, but I am going to go with one of the OOWF’s biggest men, Mikey Styner, if that man gets a favorable pick, he is going to be VERY hard to eliminate. The ring announcer is in the ring, let’s get started!
IMPERIAL ONSLAUGHTRing Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the 40 man Imperial Onslaught! The rules are as follows. Two men will begin the match. Every 90 seconds, another man enters the ring. Elimination occurs when a combatant is tossed over the top rope and both feet touch the floor. After all forty men have entered the match, and the final four participants are remaining, the cage hanging above the ring will be lowered, signaling the beginning of the Ultimate Onslaught. Once the Ultimate Onslaught begins, elimination occurs by either pin fall or submission. The winner of the match will be deemed the number one contender for the OOWF World Championship!The unlucky participant that drew #1 is former Intercontinental Champion
Blackdragon.
[Ross: If anybody can survive over an hour to win the Imperial Onslaught, it's this man, BlackDragon. Ya know, Razz, he may be the best pure athlete in the OOWF today.] Big
Mikey Styner draws #2 and the bell sounds to begin the Imperial Onslaught. BD cautiously goes after Styner, but MS elbows him down. Styner stomps away and then takes BD down with a clothesline. MS looks for a big splash, but Dragon moves out of the way. BD stomps at the head and neck of Styner and tries a Camel Clutch, but MS powers up and squashes Dragon back into the corner. Buzzer sounds and
Corax enters the match at #3 (1:30). Corax immediately helps Styner with the assault on BD. Avalanche in the corner by Styner and Corax hits a springboard DDT on Dragon. They drag Dragon toward the ropes, but BD fights out with kicks and chops. A head butt knocks Styner back toward the ropes. Corax comes running with a cross body, but BD ducks and MS catches Corax in mid-air. Dragon dropkicks Corax's back, and Styner falls to the mat. Buzzer sounds again and Dragon's got help on the way, as "No Nickname Required"
Chris Alt hits the ring, having got a bad draw at #4 (3:00). Alt goes after Styner as BD focuses on Corax. CA and BD throw Styner and Corax into each other, and Dragon tosses Corax over the top, but Corax grabs the ropes and holds on. Alt with a dropkick for Styner, then a clothesline to knock him down. The buzzer sounds again and local talent
Badger Joe, wearing a rare Atlanta Falcons' Brett Favre jersey, is #5 (4:30). CA and BD look at each other as Joe enters the ring. They immediately hit a double dropkick on him. DKO DROP~! SPINAL CONTUSION~! And Alt and Dragon toss Badger Joe over the top and to the floor for the first elimination of the match.
[Razz: Welcome to the OOWF, kid!] When Alt and Dragon turn around, though, Styner takes them both down with a double clothesline. Corax then flies off the top and hits the guillotine leg drop on Dragon. The buzzer sounds and we get a pause before #6 comes through the curtain...
It's
Stank (6:00) and business is about to pick up.
[Ross: Business is about to pick up!] Styner and Corax double team Stank immediately, but Stank fights them off. Big boot for Corax and Stank tries to take Styner over the top, but no dice. Corax comes back and hops on Stank's back. But Stank just grabs him by the head and snap mares him over the top rope, but Corax holds on. Stank continues on Styner, but can't do it alone. Dragon and Alt come over to help, and the three of them can't get Styner positioned to put over the top. Corax back in and pulls Stank around, but then cowers off and gets dropped with a right hand. BD and CA kick away at Styner, and then Stank runs in with a mammoth clothesline, and THAT is enough to get Styner over the top and to the floor. Everyone catches their breath as the buzzer sounds, signaling the entrance of
Firechild at #7 (7:30). Stank opens the ropes for FC, who stalls in getting in the ring. Stank decides to go to the floor to get him, and he throws FC into the guardrail. Meanwhile, while Stank beats on Firechild, in the ring, Dragon and Alt decide to go at it, and a fine chain wrestling clinic ensues. Corax breaks that up though with cheap shot from behind on Alt. Stank grabs a chair on the floor and levels Firechild with it.
[Ross: Good Lord, Razz! You heard it! Sounded like a gunshot!] Then a second time for good measure and FC is bleeding. Inside, BD looks for the DKO Drop on Corax, but Corax reverses into a Northern Lights suplex, but Dragon blocks that with a roll through, and as Corax gets to his feet, Alt runs in with a clothesline and takes Corax over and out to the floor! Buzzer sounds and #8 is
Harper Camby (9:00).
[Razz: Here comes a bad, bad man, Ross.] Camby jumps Stank on the outside first, sending him hard into the ring post. HC rolls in, and breaks up the chain wrestling with a knee lift to Alt, then a modified choke slam on BD. Camby chokes away on BD in the corner, and Stank slowly pulls himself back in. Stank pulls Camby off and they brawl. HC with a lowbrow, and he tires to dump Stank. But CA comes from behind and hits a nice German suplex on Camby to bust that up. Firechild pulls himself up onto the apron, but Stank whips Camby into the ropes, and HC and FC collide, and Firechild goes sailing into the guardrail. Spine buster for Camby on the way back from Stank.
The buzzer sounds for entrant #9, and it's
Concrete TG (10:30). CTG joins in on the beating of Camby, and locks on the SCAFFOLD~! Still feeling the urge to beat up somebody, Stank turns around and decks BlackDragon. CA then goes after Stank.
[Razz: Every man for himself!] A wayward clothesline from Stank inadvertently breaks up the Scaffold, and Dragon and Alt try to take out Stank. They can't get the leverage however, and HC is over to break that up. Buzzer sounds and
Attitude Adjuster is #10 (12:00). AA slips in and immediately stomps away at CTG, choking him out in the corner. Camby and BD trade punches, and Stank tosses Alt, but CA hangs on, barely keeping his feet off the floor. Alt pulls himself back in, and AA blindsides him with a knee lift. BD gets HC up on the turnbuckle, but can't eliminate him. Concrete's back up and pulls AA off Alt, and they go at it. CTG sends AA to the corner, and Stank nearly takes his head off with a big boot. But before Stank can follow up, a bloody Firechild flies in from out of nowhere and takes him down with a clothesline. Camby kicks Dragon off, but CTG jumps off Dragon's knee and hits a Shining Wizard on Camby, knocking him off the turnbuckle and over to the floor!
[Ross: My God, what a maneuver!] Buzzer sounds signaling #11,
Eric O'Mac (13:30). EOM goes right after AA, and gets some assistance in that department from CTG. Alt's back up and the numbers just don't look good for AA and FC. They beg off together in one corner, but the good guys aren't having any of it, and BD, CA, CTG, and EOM proceed to stomp a mud hole in the heels while Stank lounges in the corner, drinking a beer he got from God knows where. CEMENT MIXER to FC. AA takes the SPINAL CONTUSION~! And EOM comes off the top with the MAC ATTACK on AA. They leave AA alone, and look to gang up on Firechild, who clings to the ropes for dear life. AA comes to and crawls over and picks up Stank's beer, then looks up, realizing whose feet he's in front of. Stank rubs his hands together in anticipation of beating AA's ass, but AA punches him low, and uses Stank's height against him and dumps him out! AA turns to celebrate by drinking the beer, but Stank rolls back in and drops AA with the STANK-U before leaving for good.
The buzzer sounds and
Microplay enters at #12 (15:00). MP immediately breaks up the Firechild elimination before it happens with some shots from behind. EOM looks for another Mac Attack on AA, but Micro picks him off on the top and shoves him off to the floor, eliminating him. MP turns around and CA catches him with a belly to belly throw. BD pulls Firechild out and looks for the DKO Drop, but FC hooks the ropes with his feet to block, so Dragon tries to quickly dump him over, but again FC slips back in under the bottom rope. CTG locks on the SCAFFOLD again, this time on AA, who taps out in seconds.
[Razz: Submissions don't count in a battle royal, Ross.] FC breaks that up, and CA and BD double team Micro with a Midnight Express-like double flapjack. Time for #13, and it's
J.W. Westgaard (16:30). AA tries to slap the claw on Alt from behind, but CA catches him and takes him over with an arm drag. AA charges, and Alt sidesteps and tosses him over the top, but AA holds on. JWW works on Firechild while Dragon suplexes MP. CTG goes to help Dragon, but MP fights out of that. Alt grabs AA for a vertical suplex, but AA blocks and tries his own, managing to get CA up and over onto the apron. AA punches away, but Alt gets a shoulder to the gut. CA tries his own vertical suplex to the floor, but AA blocks again. Finally, Alt comes back in with a sunset flip. As AA fights to stay on his feet, BD smacks him with a super kick. JWW looks for the CROSSCHECK on Firechild, but FC dodges and Westgaard creams Concrete with it. Before JWW can even turn around, Micro clobbers him with a nasty clothesline. MP goes after Alt as the buzzer sounds for #14... and it's
Seraph (18:00). Seraph makes a beeline for Firechild and they slug it out center of the ring. Seraph seems to be getting the better of it, and FC goes to the eyes to break that up. Before FC can follow up though, Seraph charges with a huge clothesline, taking BOTH guys over the top and to the floor. Seraph and Firechild brawl on the floor as officials try to break them up.
[Razz: Feel the unmitigated hate in the air, Ross.] Seraph and Firechild brawl all the way to the back. As Alt and Micro have it out in the corner, BD is trying to dump AA. JWW and CTG make amends and the buzzer sounds...
And listen to the boos, as
Donovan Viper makes his way to the ring at #15 (19:30).
[Ross: Aw, here's a no-good son of a bitch!] Viper takes his time getting to the ring, as JWW and CTG wait on him. AA, with a poke to the eyes to BD, escapes his predicament as Alt and Microplay battle in the corner. Viper hesitantly circles the ring, but JWW and CTG won't give him an opening. Finally, Viper rushes the ring, and gets stomped down anyway as we pass the twenty minute mark. Alt can't get Microplay over the top, and just drops him on the apron with a right hand. CA goes after AA, and MP assists DV in his fight against JWW and CTG with a double axe handle on Westgaard. AA tries the claw again on Alt, and again, CA counters, this time with a short arm clothesline. Concrete misses a charge into the corner as the buzzer sounds for #16,
Tommy Wilder (21:00). AA goes low on Alt, but turns around into the DKO DROP~! But Dragon turns around into the DEATH ELBOW~! And BD goes over the top to the floor.
[Ross: Damn it! Razz: Hey, we're supposed to be unbiased here.] TW goes after MP, but Micro shoves him away. Wilder stays after him, though. Viper goes after Alt, and AA hits the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT on CTG. Westgaard fights back on Micro, and wCw hits a Rocket Launcher onto him. MP reverses an Irish Whip and dumps TW, but Wilder skins the cat and he and JWW hit MP with a modified Hart Attack and eliminate Microplay! AA tries to toss Concrete, but wCw stops that. Time for another buzzer, and #17 is
Mr. Jealous (22:30). Jealous immediately grabs Wilder and hits him with the JEALOUS RAGE~! JWW tries his hand, but eats THE MONSTER~! Jealous picks up Wilder and press slams him over the top and THROUGH THE COSTA RICAN ANNOUNCE TABLE!
[Ross: Good Lord! With God as my witness, Tommy Wilder's been murdered right before our eyes! Razz: Easy on the hyperbole, Ross.] Westgaard pulls himself up and looks at his partner in shock, allowing AA to sneak up from behind and dump him, too. AA offers a high five to Jealous, who just stares him down. AA smartly backs off, right into the CEMENT MIXER~! Meanwhile, Viper tries to hump, er, dump Alt over, but is unsuccessful.
The buzzer sounds for #18 and it's
Canadian Dragon (24:00). CD goes right after Donnie Viper and they tumble thru the ropes to the floor and brawl outside. Jealous picks up Alt and goes to give him the same treatment he gave Wilder, but Alt shifts his weight on the press slam and lands on his feet. CA ducks a haymaker and dropkicks Jealous back toward the ropes. CTG then comes by, and he and Alt take out Mr. Jealous with a double clothesline over the top rope. Outside, Dragon beats on Viper in the aisle, looking for an OWEN DRIVER '97~! But the buzzer sounds and
Tommy O'Neil is #19 (25:30), and he breaks that up to save his Devil's Brigade buddy. As TDB double teams CD outside, inside, Alt and Concrete have AA in a bad way. AA fights like a madman to get out of the corner, but gets thrown back into the turnbuckle and stomped down. O'Neil and Viper with a modified TRIPLE SIX to Dragon on the floor. Concrete looks for the Scaffold, but AA fights it, so CTG simply catapults AA, who goes flying into the ring post, and is teetering on the turnbuckle on his stomach. Alt and CTG go to dump him over, but the buzzer sounds for #20, and it's AA's fellow Chickenshit Heel,
Johnny Adrenaline (27:00).
[Razz: Oh, it's your boy, Ross!] JA hits the ring and saves AA with a lowbrow to CA. Concrete turns around and he and Johnny renew their old rivalry. Meanwhile, TDB finishes their assault of CD on the floor and make their way back to the ring, where they opt to stand outside and watch the proceedings. Inside, we have a modified Texas Tornado tag match, as CTG and CA are brawling it out with JA and AA. Alt with a flying burrito for AA, and CTG looks for the Cement Mixer on JA. Johnny reverses and tries the Adrenaline Rush, but CTG counters and winds up on the apron. Alt comes from behind Johnny and lifts him up on his shoulders, Concrete climbs the ropes and it's a DOOMSDAY DEVICE for Adrenaline! CA goes to pull AA up, but AA comes up with a pair of brass knuckles and levels Alt. Concrete tries to dump JA, but Viper hops up on the apron and clocks Concrete with a chain, and TDB rolls back in and stomps away at CTG and CA.
Buzzer signals #21,
Uncle Entity (28:50), and UE gets beat down by TDB, as well, after a brief offensive flurry. AA and JA get to their feet and the heels stare each other down. Some words are exchanged, presumably about sandwiches and/or gay porn, but before anything happens, Canadian Dragon flies back in with a moonsault plancha taking all four guys down! CA, CTG, and UE are all to their feet, and a four on four brawl erupts. UE with a snap power bomb on JA, as Dragon hits AA with a hurricanrana. On the other side of the ring, Alt looks for Spinal Contusion on DV, but Viper counters with a fireman's carry, but can't dump Alt. CD then blindsides Entity and just goes crazy on him. O'Neil misses the left hand, and Concrete hits a German suplex. CTG goes for another, but Viper breaks it up with a forearm shot. Alt tries to toss Johnny, but JA holds on and slips back in as the buzzer sounds for #22. And it's
F.F. Capslock (30:00) making his way in at the half hour mark. FFC goes right after DV with some stiff punches. O'Neil goes to help out his partner, and TDB gets the upper hand on Capslock. AA tosses CD, but Dragon skins the cat and grabs AA with a head scissors. But JA breaks that up, and he and AA try to eliminate CD, and Alt is over to stop that from happening. CTG and UE join the party, and the Chickenshit Heels get stomped down again, and again Dragon jumps on UE. Viper looks for the D-3 on FFC, but Capslock backdrops out of that. O'Neil looks for the left hook, but FFC ducks, and Viper TAKES IT LIKE A MAN!
[Ross: O'Neil just knocked out Donnie Viper!] DV hits the canvas, and before Tommy can apologize, Capslock takes him over and out with a vicious clothesline! #23 is up as the buzzer goes off, and it's
Endo (31:30). A fight breaks out in the corner between Concrete and CD and they chain wrestle on one side of the ring, CTG nearly dumping CD when UE blindsides Dragon with a clothesline. Dragon holds on, and slingshots in with a cross body on both UE and CTG. Capslock pounds on JA, then tosses Alt across the ring with a press slam. Endo jumps AA in the corner, and AA powders out under the ropes. Endo beats on Johnny some, but AA sneaks back in and the Chickenshit Heels dump Endo out. While CD and CTG go back to wrestling, FFC stomps away on UE in the corner, then switches back to Alt, looking for a power bomb. But FFC obviously forgot that YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB CHRIS ALT! CA punches away on FFC's shoulders and breaks free. But Viper blindsides him with the SIDEWINDER~! Then Viper nails FFC with the DEATH ELBOW and eliminates him!
AA and JA break up CTG and CD's chain wrestling as the buzzer signals #24,
SoulDragon (33:00). SD's in and he joins Entity in stomping away at Alt. Johnny looks for the Adrenaline Rush on CD, but Dragon reverses with a sweet swinging neck breaker. AA with some stiff kicks to Concrete, and AA slaps THE CLAW on Dragon. Apparently, CD's mask keeps AA from getting it cinched in, so AA tries ripping the mask. Dragon ain't having that though, and counters with a tornado DDT. JA nails CD with a clothesline. SD and UE get Alt up on the ropes, and Viper comes over to help out. CTG comes over to add his two cents, and he manages to move the whole group. SD falls over the top and hangs on, but Viper drops him to the floor with cheap right hand. Buzzer sounds and #25 is 3 Piece Set member
Ax-Man (34:50).
[Razz: You want a dark horse pick, Ross. Here's my guy. I like Ax-Man.] Ax sees the pile over by the ropes and picks his spot, eliminating UE with a dropkick, knocking him off the apron. AA and JA can't get rid of CD, and Alt and Concrete and get the crowd going with a beat down of Viper. But Ax breaks that up from behind. CTG and Viper go at it and Ax looks for a sidekick on Alt. But CA ducks, and Ax crotches himself on the top rope. Alt shakes the ropes, and Ax, with a great oversell, falls over, but hangs on. On the other side of the ring, AA and JA are still trying to toss CD, but Dragon won't allow it, so the Chickenshit Heels decide to debut their new finishing move, the ADRENALINE ADJUSTMENT~! A spike brain buster to Dragon, and AA and JA play to the crowd. But CA takes them both down with a clothesline! Viper with a low blow on CTG. Buzzer sounds and
Hellion is #26 (36:00). Hellion goes right after Viper. They slug it out in the corner, as Concrete goes to help Alt with Attitude and Johnny. CTG and CA with Total Elimination on JA, and a double DDT on AA. Ax comes over and takes CTG down from behind. Hellion gets the upper hand on Viper, but DV goes to the eyes. Viper looks for the Death Elbow, but Hellion ducks and takes Viper down with a spine buster. But he stops to talk some trash, and from behind, Canadian Dragon dumps him out and over.
[Ross: You said it, Razz. Every man for himself.] CD stomps away at Viper, then chokes him out. Ax tries to get Concrete out, as the buzzer sounds...
And it's former OOWF Champion
Niles Anderson at #27 (37:30), and he's bringing a steel chair.
[Ross: I thought he quit the OOWF!] An official tries to keep him from bringing it in, but Niles shoves the ref away. Chair shot for Ax. Viper bails to the floor to avoid the carnage. Chair shot for Dragon. NA blasts Alt with it, too. Niles lines up Concrete and DRILLS him with a chairs hot. NA opens up with eight, nine, ten, shots to CTG. Alt stumbles up and tries to help, but meets the ADRENALINE RUSH~! NA is merciless, and has AA hold CTG up for one final shot, which echoes thru the arena. Concrete's a bloody mess, STEED-DT, and Anderson orders AA and JA to dump him out, which they do.
[Ross: What a diabolical son of a bitch!] Anderson throws the chair down on CTG. Viper sneaks back in and makes like Niles was Hardbody Harris, and jumps him from behind. AA and JA try to eliminate Alt as the buzzer sounds for #28. And it's
"The Masterpiece" Smark Masters (39:00). Glittery robe and all, he poses his fat ass in rhythm with the music and pyro, as nobody in the ring even stops to acknowledge him. Ax and CD trade blows, while Niles and Viper are still going at it. Smark takes a seat at the announce table.
Ross: Shouldn't you be in the ring?
Razz: Come on, Ross, it's strategy.
Smark: Ya damn right it's strategy. Remember when Vince McMahon won the Royal Rumble like this?
Ross: Yes. I do. And I thought your kind looked down on shitty booking like that. Speaking of which, what's with your attire tonight?
Smark: Ross, when I get in that ring and cinch in my MasterSmark Full Nelson on everybody, they're gonna drop like flies, baby!Despite those strong words, Smark stays at the announce table. AA and JA look for the Adrenaline Adjustment on Alt, but CA counters with a snap suplex on Johnny, then gets a foot up when AA comes off the second rope. Ax crotches CD on the turnbuckle, and they fight on top as Ax tries a superplex. Niles looks for the Precision Incision on Viper, but DV fights out and reverses into a tiger suplex. Buzzer sounds for #29, and it's "The Main Event"
Chris Cole (40:30). Cole immediately assists his 3PS partner Ax with a double superplex on CD. Niles backdrops Viper over, but DV hangs on by one arm and slides back in. Viper throws Niles thru the ropes out to the floor. Then, in an awkward alliance, Viper and Alt work together to beat down AA and JA. 3PS works over Dragon, but CD counters a double team effort by blocking a side suplex with a mule kick to Ax, a flip out, and a German suplex to Cole. Niles is back in and decks Alt. Dragon comes from behind with a bulldog on NA. Viper then tries to toss CD, but Dragon reverses an Irish whip. Viper blocks a back elbow, but CD counters a wheelbarrow with an arm drag.
[Smark: Now that's workrate for ya! Ross: Somethin' you wouldn't know about dressed like that.] NA, JA, and AA look to dump Alt over, but Dragon is over to bust that up. Buzzer sounds for #30, and it's
GimmickMan (42:00). GM helps out with Niles and his cohorts, but is jumped from behind by 3PS. Alt with some kicks to AA, and Dragon with a flying head scissors sends Johnny to the floor thru the ropes. Viper and Niles go at it again, and Alt with a delayed vertical suplex on AA, and CD comes off the top with a cross body on AA. GM fights out of a 3PS double team and looks for the Spartan Plunge on Cole. CC blocks however, and Ax comes over and they dump Gimmick over and out. Johnny sneaks back in and tries to dump Cole from behind, but 3PS kicks him down. The buzzer sounds for #31...
BONG! BONG! WOOF! And it's
UnderDawg (43:30).
[Razz: As you'd say Ross, you might wanna put the women and children to bed!] UD with some dogbones for Viper and Niles. Big choke slam for AA. Dogbone for Dragon. Big boot for Cole. And UD tosses Ax over and to the floor! JA goes low on UD and looks for the Adrenaline Rush, but UD counters into the DAWGMISSION~! And Johnny is tapping.
[Smark: All right, guys. That's my cue.] Smark gets in the ring and hooks the MASTERSMARK FULL NELSON on UD! UnderDawg completely no-sells it, as he should, drops Johnny, and turns around. UD kicks Smark in the gut and it's a LAST RIDE POWERBOMB over the top and THROUGH THE SLOVAKIAN ANNOUNCE TABLE! Smark is pushing up the daisies. CA grabs AA and whips him to the ropes, and UD hip tosses AA over the top and to the floor! Niles jumps UD from behind to stop the momentum, and Viper drops Alt middle of the ring with the DEATH ELBOW~! Buzzer sounds and #32 is
Dr. Murder (45:00). DocM comes in and joins Cole in an attack on CD. Niles and Viper stare each other down and have words, but Johnny steps between them and offers up a plan: to get rid of UD. So NA, DV, and JA stomp away at UD and beat him down in the corner. Cole looks for the Headliner on CD, but Dragon counters with an inverted DDT. But Murder with a stiff forearm to take CD back down. Niles and Johnny have UD tied up, and Viper lines him up for the Death Elbow, but Alt spears him before anything can go down. UD punches out of the ropes and looks for the Fireplug Driver on Niles, but Johnny clips his knee to stop that. Buzzer goes off and
Morte is #33 (47:30.) Morte goes right after Johnny, while Alt mounts Viper with some punches. Niles kicks away at UD, and Cole stays on CD. But Dragon counters into a CANADIAN MAPLE LEAF! Johnny gets some help from DocM and they pound Morte. Morte with a leg sweep on Murder and gets a crucifix takedown on Johnny. Morte goes up top for the guillotine leg drop, but Dragon shoves him off to eliminate him. Then Niles sneaks up from behind and dumps Dragon! Viper frees himself of Alt with a knee to the groin. Buzzer sounds for #34, and it's
Mark Vander (48:00).
MV storms the ring and goes right after Donnie Viper. Power slam. Running knee lift. And a CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL knocks Viper thru the ropes and to the floor. Vander climbs up top and jumps off with a double axe handle to Viper, eliminating himself in the process! Vander lays a Grade A beating on Viper at ringside, culminated by a shot with Viper's own chain, drawing blood.
[Ross: My Gawd, Razz! Vander wants to kill Viper!] Officials have to pry MV off DV, but they manage to restrain him and get him to leave momentarily, but Vander breaks free and gets a few more shots in before leaving voluntarily. UD beats Niles and Johnny all around the ring. Cole and Murder are working on Alt, and Murder decks Cole with a wayward shot. Alt battles DocM in the corner, and Murder hits the CORONER SPLASH~! But Cole sneaks up behind and dumps Murder to eliminate him. Alt goes after Cole. Buzzer sounds for #35, and it's
Moosehead Jack (49:30). MHJ comes to the ring with a sledgehammer and goes right after Niles. Anderson bails to the floor, so Moose clocks Johnny with the sledgehammer first. Anderson tries to walk out, but Viper's just coming to at ringside and grabs him and rolls him back in. Niles turns and yells at Viper, and when NA turns around, Moose CLOBBERS him with a running sledgehammer shot and Anderson goes over the top and to the floor! MHJ rolls out and tosses the hammer aside, opting rather for a chain-wrapped fist, pounding NA into a bloody pulp.
[Ross: The bastard got what he deserved, Razz! Razz: Hey, we're unbiased here! Ross: Oh, kiss my ass, Razz!] Johnny staggers over to try to help, but UD cuts him off with the FIREPLUG DRIVER~! As we pass the fifty minute mark, Cole with a butterfly suplex on Alt, and CC looks for the elimination, but Alt fights him off. Viper's back in and helps Cole, but they can't get rid of CA. The refs finally get Moose off Niles, and MHJ rolls back in, satisfied with his work, as officials help Niles to the back.
Mercury is in as the buzzer signals #36 (51:00). Merc goes after UD for some silly reason, and gets some dogbones for his troubles. Moose goes after Cole with a back elbow, and Alt nearly dumps Viper. Johnny's back up and helps Merc with UD, but gets the same treatment. MHJ with a DDT on Cole, and Alt goes after Mercury. Viper's over to help with UD, and he and Johnny exchange a look as if they're on the same page. Sure enough, DV and JA hit UD with a double clothesline and they stomp away at Dawg. Cole fights back on Moose, Merc puts Alt down with a backbreaker, and things settle down. But the buzzer sounds for #37, and the camera focuses on the announce table and THE
BEAST POPS OUT (52:30)!
[Razz: Oh shit, Ross! That was our table!] Spear for Mercury. Clothesline for Moose. And Beast looks at Viper, then down at Underdawg and decides that Viper is the lesser of two evils, and joins in on the beatdown of UD. Alt goes to help out UD, but Beast creams him with the CLUB O'DEATH~! Cole looks for the Headliner on Moose, but MHJ reverses and tries a short arm clothesline, but Cole ducks and hits the HEADLINER~! Cole joins the club in trying to dump UnderDawg. JA, DV, Beast, and Cole have UD pinned back in a corner, but UD shoves them all off and here comes the rally. Dogbone for Cole. Big boot for Viper. Jumping clothesline for Beast. And UD with a flurry of punches on Johnny in the corner. Mercury from behind with a low blow though. Buzzer sounds for #38, and it's
Thim Reynolds (54:00). Alt with a side suplex on Beast, and Moose is back in it with a pile driver on JA. Reynolds looks for the Adjustor on Cole, but Cole kicks him off, and Viper catches TR with a Samoan drop. Merc tries dumping UD himself, but Dawg fights him off, then kills him with an uppercut. Moose tosses Johnny, but Adrenaline holds on again. Beast looks for a spear on Alt, but CA moves Beast goes shoulder first to the post, and CA hits him with SPINAL CONTUSION~! Viper clotheslines Alt out of nowhere, and Alt goes over and hangs on, feet just inches from the floor, before pulling himself back in. TR and Cole go at it in the corner. Buzzer sounds for #39...
And it's
Brad "Bradshaw" Smoley (55:50).
[Ross: What the hell is this?] Smoley rides out in a beat up limo, steps out wearing a button up shirt – missing a few buttons around the belly– and cowboy hat. He waves to the fans as he walks to the ring, and as he steps in, he's instantly greeted by UD with a FIREPLUG DRIVER~! Then, in succession, SIDEWINDER~! HEART PUNCH~! HEADLINER~! ADRENALINE RUSH~! SPINAL CONTUSION~! REFLEX-O-LOCK~! MERCURY RISING~! And the BIG MONSTER HAMMER CLUB O'DEATH completes the circle, and Beast tosses "BBS" out on his ass. Then, everybody goes back to who they were fighting before Smoley entered. Beast even goes back to selling the Spinal Contusion he received minutes prior.
[Razz: I take it that was a shoot, Ross.] UD finally decides he's dealt with the pesky Mercury enough and backdrops him over and to the floor! Johnny trips up Moose and looks for a Sharpshooter, but MHJ counters with a kick to the face. Alt tries to dump Beast, but Viper breaks it up. And the buzzer sounds, signaling the final entrant of the match, #40,
Phil (57:00). Phil's in to help out Alt first, beating down Viper. Avalanche for Beast in the corner, and Beast with a great oversell, flopping to the mat, and thru the ropes to the floor. Phil follows him out and beats on him on the floor. YARPLEX on the floor! He rolls Beast back in, and Johnny jumps on Phil. But UD pulls Johnny off and drops him with a dogbone, Beast misses the Club O'Death, and UD and Phil clothesline Beast over the top and to the floor. Cole gets catapulted into the post by Reynolds, and Cole comes up bleeding. MHJ with a single arm DDT on Cole, then gets with TR to dump CC out. But Moose turns on Reynolds and dumps him instead!
[Razz: Ha! Trust him, Ross!] Phil stomps away at Viper, as Alt catches a breather. Cole back in, and he and Johnny stomp away at Moose. But UD grabs Cole and nearly kills him with a choke slam. Viper gets a low blow on Phil, but can't lift him to try to dump him out. So Viper just stomps away at Alt instead. Johnny goes for the Adrenaline Rush on Moose, but Moose blocks and sets Johnny on the turnbuckle. MHJ punches away as JA teeters on top. A nasty right hand, and Johnny falls over, but gets his leg caught in the ropes, keeping him from falling to the floor. Viper decks Moose from behind as we pass the one hour mark. Phil comes to get Viper, and Viper reverses an Irish whip. However, Johnny pulls the rope down as Phil gets there, low bridging him, and Phil goes over the top and to the floor! Cole gets a German suplex on UnderDawg, and Alt comes off the top with a dropkick on Cole. Johnny and Viper grab Moose and go for the elimination. But UD's up and grabs Johnny. DAWG SCHOOL~! But as Dawg walks the ropes, Viper runs and shoves him off to the floor! UD lands on his feet and can't believe it, kicks the ring steps and leaves.
Viper talks some trash, but turns around into a HEART PUNCH~! Cole from behind with a clothesline on Moose, taking him over, but MHJ gets back in. Alt with a dropkick on Cole, and a clothesline for JA.
[Ross: Four of these five men will compete in the Ultimate Onslaught! Which one will be eliminated?] Alt grabs Johnny and tries an elimination, but Cole breaks that up. MHJ knocks Cole thru the ropes to the outside. Irish whip, and CA and Moose take JA down with a clothesline, but then MHJ snatches Alt into a short clothesline. DDT attempt is stopped with a clothesline from Johnny. JA sends Alt to the ropes, and Cole low bridges Alt! But CA hooks the top rope with his elbow and hangs on. Cole tries pulling him off from the floor, but CA kicks him away. Johnny moves in, but Alt punches him away with his free hand, then springboards in at JA. But Viper spears him in mid air to stop that. Cole back in, and MHJ tosses him, but Cole lands on the apron. So Moose kicks his knee, and Cole falls to the apron and begins to fall to the floor, but grabs the bottom rope at the last second. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, Viper and Adrenaline are trying to get Alt over. They struggle for a little bit, and MHJ makes his way over and dumps both DV and JA over, and both guys hang onto the top rope. Viper and Johnny chicken fight while hanging over the floor, but then get on the same page and Viper skins the cat back in. But Johnny gets halfway back up, and Moose comes back to attack. JA kicks him away, and Viper drops MHJ with a T-Bone suplex. Alt gets to his feet, having been in the ring over an hour, and goes after Viper with some punches, but Cole runs from behind and tosses Alt over, and CA lands on the apron. Cole tries to dropkick the knee, but Alt jumps out of the way, and Cole hits the mat. CA comes back in with a slingshot leg drop. Viper's over to kick at Alt, and Moose is working on Johnny. All of a sudden, from out of the crowd, Niles Anderson, covered in his own dried up blood, hits the ring with a 2x4 and hits MHJ from behind.
[Ross: What the hell's he doin' back here? Anderson's been eliminated!] A second shot to MHJ's back breaks the board, and an incensed Anderson stabs Moose in the face with the splintered end of one of the broken pieces. Officials storm the ring, but Anderson knocks them down one at a time. Johnny pulls Moose up, and Niles measures him with a running shot with the board, and Niles tosses Moose over the top rope. Niles goes out and rolls a busted open Moose back in. NA then tosses him over the top again to be a jerk. Anderson follows out again and pounds Moose, opening up the gash even more. Police officers hit the scene and pull Niles away, handcuffing him and taking him away, all the while Niles has a crazed look in his eyes.
[Ross: He's the spawn of Satan! Razz: Easy, Ross.] As Moose struggles to get to his feet near the aisle, the Hell in the Cell cage begins to lower from the ceiling, signaling the beginning of Ultimate Onslaught.
Ultimate Onslaught: Chris Alt vs. Donovan Viper vs. Johnny Adrenaline vs. Chris Cole[Ross: One of these four men, Razz, will walk out of here first ever Imperial Onslaught champion and the number one contender to the OOWF World Title.] Alt looks around at his opposition and sees that the numbers aren't exactly in his favor. CA charges Viper first and goes crazy on him, but Cole takes him down from behind. Alt wiggles free and kicks Cole away, but eats a DDT from Johnny. Viper chokes Alt out in the corner as Johnny and Cole discuss strategy. The heels take turns working CA over in the corner, but Johnny gets a little too cocky and Alt chops his way out of the corner. Elbow to Viper, and Alt sends Cole to the ropes, but Alt ducks early, and Cole hits a face buster. CA staggers around, and Cole looks for a running knee lift, but hits Johnny by mistake, and Adrenaline falls out to the floor. CA with a Northern Lights suplex on Cole, but Cole's out at two. Viper pulls Alt away and stomps him right in the balls. As Johnny pulls himself up on the apron, Viper whips Alt into the ropes, and Johnny goes flying into the cage. Viper with a flapjack on Alt on the way back. Cole pulls Johnny up onto the apron, but JA counters by snapping Cole's throat off the top rope. JA rolls up Cole, but only gets two. Johnny and Viper double team Alt, but CA snap mares Johnny over and dropkicks Viper. Alt looks for Spinal Contusion on Cole, but CC reverses into a German suplex with a bridge, and Alt's out at two. Johnny clotheslines Alt down from behind as Viper pulls a ladder out from under the ring.
Cole takes the ladder from Viper and wallops Johnny with it, then tosses it like a javelin at Alt. Viper covers Alt, and gets two. Johnny dumps Cole to the floor, then Viper baseball slides the ladder into Cole, and CC hits the cage. Alt tosses Viper thru the ropes to the floor, and DV and CC brawl on the floor. Viper gets catapulted into the cage and is bleeding everywhere. Alt slams Johnny on the ladder, then sets the ladder up. CA goes to the top and looks to set up for a moonsault, but Cole pulls the ladder out from under him, and Alt clings to the top of the cell to keep from falling. Cole climbs the turnbuckle with the ladder and swings it like a baseball bat and crushes Alt with it, and CA falls hard to the mat. CC off the top with a knee drop, but JA looks for the cover on Alt. One, two, and Cole pulls Johnny off and slaps on the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF~! JA scrambles for the ropes but gets nothing, and Adrenaline looks ready to tap. Johnny's hand is in the air, but out of nowhere, Viper comes and blasts Cole's unprotected head with the DEATH ELBOW~! CC hits the mat, and Viper covers him and gets the three count for the first elimination of Ultimate Onslaught.
[Ross: Well, I guess there's no honor among thieves. Cole would've done the same thing, and you know it, Razz!]As the official escorts Cole out of the cage, Viper pulls Alt up and slaps a few times in the corner. Hard Irish whip and Alt goes sternum-first and falls to the mat. Another one. Johnny sets the ladder up in the corner, and Viper sends Alt in one more time, crashing into the ladder, and the ladder falls on top of him. Viper kicks the ladder out of the way, and it rests halfway off the apron, supported by the cage. Double superplex to Alt, and Johnny gets only two. Viper and Johnny stomp CA as we near the eighty minute mark. Viper meets a boot on a charge, and JA goes to the eyes. Johnny to the apron, but Alt hits a springboard dropkick, sending JA down onto the ladder, which ricochets up into Viper's face. Alt with a schoolboy on Viper, and DV's out at two and a half. Alt hits SPINAL CONTUSION~! One... two... and Adrenaline makes the save!
[Ross: Now why would he do that? It's an elimination match!] Adrenaline Rush is countered by Alt with a gourd buster straight onto the ladder. Alt covers Johnny, but Viper pulls Alt off! Having just been robbed of two eliminations, Alt opens up on Viper, beating him back into the corner. Alt grabs the ladder and tries to harpoon Viper with it. Viper with a low blow to break the flow, and Viper looks for a power bomb, but didn't learn anything from when Capslock tried it earlier. YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB CHRIS ALT, and Alt reverses into a tornado DDT on the ladder. Alt stumbles up and walks right into a wicked chair shot from Johnny. ADRENALINE RUSH~! Johnny pulls himself over and covers. One... two... and Alt escapes at the very last moment. JA tosses CA to the floor, and follows out on the offense. He grinds Alt's face in the cage, opening up a cut. Johnny tries a pile driver on the floor, but Alt backdrops out. CA back in and Viper hits a double under hook throw. Viper grabs the chair and lines Alt up, but CA hits the deck on the swing and Johnny walks right into it! Viper can't believe it, and Alt dropkicks him to the floor. CA scrambles for the cover, one, two, three and Johnny is eliminated!
[Ross: Aw, the sumbitch had it comin'!]The official drags a bloody Adrenaline out of the cage, and Viper jumps Alt from behind with the ladder. DV sets it up, and hangs Alt upside down on the ladder by his legs. Viper grabs the chair and blasts Alt with it. Nowhere to go, so Viper does it again. He picks Alt up off the ladder and runs him into the ladder headfirst. One, two, but even after more than an hour and a half in the ring, Chris Alt will not die. Viper charges, but Alt backdrops him over the top, back first into the cage, and Viper lands awkwardly on the floor. Alt to the top, but Viper was playing possum, climbs up and shoves Alt off. But CA grabs the side of the cage, and springboards off the adjacent wall of the cage and blasts Viper with a dropkick, knocking him off the apron to the floor.
[Razz: Holy shit, Ross! That was the coolest move I've ever seen!] Alt tosses DV back in, and CA comes off the top with a moonsault! One, two, and Viper kicks out. Alt hits DV with the ladder a couple of times, sets it up, and ascends. Viper reaches the legs of the ladder though and shoves the ladder backwards. Again, Alt is a step ahead and lands on the top rope. He grabs the ladder, but Viper charges, runs up the ladder, but Alt shoves the ladder down on top of him. CA comes off with a 450 splash ON THE LADDER with Viper trapped beneath. Both guys are dead, and are motionless for about 30 seconds. Viper actually comes to first, and pulls himself onto Alt. One, two...
[Ross: Not like this...!] ...but CA kicks out! Viper gets to his feet and sets the ladder up. He tries to climb, but Alt catches him with an electric chair drop onto the chair! One… two… but Viper kicks out. Alt climbs the ladder, but Viper climbs the other side and they slug it out on top. Alt gets the upper hand, ramming Viper face first into the top of the ladder, and in a nod to his best friend, CA then brings Viper down with a TO BE EDITED IN LATER OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER~! Crowd goes batshit! Again, both guys are out, but Alt manages to scratch and claw his way over and gets a hand one Viper. One... two... and the crowd can't believe it when Viper kicks out! Alt stands up, but his knees buckle and he falls back down. Viper pulls himself up in the corner. Alt gets back up and goes in, but Viper hits him in the face with the other half of the broken 2x4 from a half hour earlier, and a bloody Chris Alt falls to the canvas. One, two... and Alt kicks out again. Viper pitches a hissy fit, then lines him up for the Death Elbow, but Alt manages to dodge it, but CA stumbles back around into the SIDEWINDER ON THE CHAIR~! Viper falls on top. One... two... three, and Donovan Viper pins Chris Alt to win the Imperial Onslaught!
[Ross: Son of a bitch, I don't believe it! Razz: What a match, Ross!] Viper pulls himself up with the ropes and can barely raise his hand in victory. Alt is motionless and Viper stares him down in disbelief. The cage begins to raise to the ceiling as The Devil's Brigade comes down to celebrate Viper's huge victory.
WINNER of the Imperial Onslaught in 98:11: Donovan ViperRoss: MAH GAWD! Donovan Viper! He is the number one contender to the OOWF title!
Razz: He survived a hell of an ordeal to…
Ross: Razz, I don’t mean to cut you off, but I am getting word that we have an incident back stage, we have a camera thereWe cut to see Niles Anderson, Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster jump Moosehead Jack. Jack holds his own at first, but a blind side clothesline from Niles drops him to the floor. Before Niles and his crew can do too much damage, Concrete and LD Williams show up and a full on brawl ensues. In the melee Concrete grabs a chair and goes after Niles. Concrete swings the chair at Niles head, but before he can make contact, Moos steps in, also going after Niles, the chair slams down on Jack’s head. Jack hits the floor, barely conscious, a huge gash over his eye leaves blood pooling on the floor. Niles and his boys see this and laugh and start to back off. Concrete looks furiously at Niles, then checks on Moose.
<The camera pulls back and we see MHJ lying unconscious on the floor a bloody mess. Niles backs away slowly, then gets an evil grin on his face and turns and whispers something to Johnny and AA. They look surprised. Fade to black>
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