OOWF Midweek Mayhem
Live from Palanga, Lithuania
Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
Russ: Welsome to Midweek Mayhem, coming to you from the beautiful Baltic Seashore community of Palanga in Lithuania. I'm joined this week by former ECW Champion Razz, and conspicuous by his absence again is Kevin Nash.
Razz: Russ, the comedy of errors by this man continue this week as he was detained at Palanga International Airport by authorities after claiming he was a direct descendent of the Grand Duke Kestutis and the Pagan priestess Birute.
Russ: Will that man ever learn to shut the hell up?
Razz: Well, it always makes for great entertainment for us, Russ.
Russ: Be that as it may, we have two title matches on tap for tonight's Mayhem and a number one contenders matchup.
Razz: This is the match I've been waiting for tonight, Russ. Chris Evans defends his World Heavyweight Championship against the genetic freak, Davin Moreland.
Russ: Moreland has been extremely quiet since his return, and one has to wonder if the big man is getting his medication adjusted or if this new, lower profile Moreland is something that should concern OOWF competitors.
Razz: Loud or quiet, Davin Moreland is no competitor to take lightly. Also Banned from Everywhere takes on the Norsemen.
Russ: I met these Norsemen backstage, and I can only tell you that they make Banned from Everywhere look sane. Just nuts. And there's a triple threat single elimination match tonight to determine the number one contenders for the Tag Team Championships. Texpress, Power and Glory, and LD Williams and Stank will face off in the ring tonight.
Razz: Both Power and Glory and LD and Stank have promised that Texpress will not leave the ring standing tonight. The question is, who will be the new number one contender tonight?
Russ: We also want to mention that Mike Elevenbee is not here tonight. He is back in the states representing the OOWF in a big fundraiser for the victims of Hurricane Sandy, and we wish all our fans in those affected areas all the best in your recovery, which will take a long time. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Razz: The old home front isn't what it used to be, Russ. But taking Mike's place tonight are several of our interviewers who you see behind the scenes and tonight they step up front to take to the big stage. Speaking of which, our first match is ready to go.
Russ: Two double tough competitors, the assassin Matt Folz and the insane bunny, Rabbit Mask.
Razz: Folz hasn't been this focused in years, but Rabbit Mask is on a roll. This will be a real slobberknocker, Russ.
Russ: Yeah, Off the chain. Let's go to the ring....
Rabbit Mask vs. Matt FolzAll the lights go out and a white fog engulfs the stage as
Another Me by Jeff Hardy begins to play. Rabbit appears through the fog carrying...a cheese ball? With a face drawn on it? Rabbit casually takes bites out of the cheese ball, talks to it, and laughs maniacally.
Battle without Honor or Humanity by Tomoyasu Hotei brings out the focused assassin Matt Folz.
As Referee Junior Hale calls for the bell both men tear into one another with a vengeance as Folz and RM exchange solid strikes. Folz finally gets the advantage and ties up RM with an armbar and keeps grinding down on the bicep. Rabbit Mask works his way to a vertical base and backs Folz into the ropes to throw him off but Folz holds the armbar and takes Rabbit down. Rabbit works his way back up and this time just pokes Folz in the eyes to get him to release the hold. Rabbit begins targeting the head and neck of Folz with a combination of kicks and strikes, hits a DDT, floats over for the pin but only gets a one count. Rabbit Mask continues the strikes to the head and sets up Folz for the corner kick but as RM takes flight Folz moves and Bunny hits the post. Folz follows up with leg and whips strikes and locks in the Ankle Lock but Bunny is able to work his way to the ropes to force the break, which Folz takes to the limit before breaking the hold. RM rolls out of the ring to regroup and Folz follows. But RM was playing possum and grabs Folz and runs him head first into the ring post. Bunny rolls Folz back into the ring and tears into him for all he's worth with strikes and chops and goes for the Punt Kick and doesn't quite get all of it. RM picks up Folz for Head Drop #1 but Folz has enough to roll RM into a small package but they end up in the ropes. As Folz gets up he presses the attack back on RM and gets Bunny up for a German Suplex that stuns RM. Folz locks in the Tazmission as...the bell rings?
DECISION: 15 minute time limit drawThe match may be over, but Folz isn't done as he keeps the Tazmission locked in until Hale threatens a Disqualification. Folz releases the hold and Bunny turns to spew the White Mist but Folz manages to duck it and keeps up the strikes and punches as does Rabbit Mask as the two keep fighting around ringside and up the ramp until they hit the curtain and apparently the brawl is continuing backstage where Security breaks it up.
Russ: I would say that those two just don't like each other, but I don't honestly think that either one of them like anyone.
Razz: I for one would like to see them get it on again, Russ. They went fifteen minutes and just tore the house down, without hammers!
Russ: Is this the way we're going tonight?
Razz: Looks that way.
Russ: I know the fans were really into this first match tonight, even with no winner.
Razz: Up next, a triple threat match featuring three of the OOWF's most underrated talents, as Comrade Sharkoff, Ricky Soaring Eagle, and Mai Muyo face off.
Russ: Mai Muyo is one great competitor, as we saw last week, when she is focusted, she can beat the best.
Razz: Muyo made short work of the Comrade last week after he had, shall we say, unpleasant words about her good friend the Reverend Stan Fulton.
Russ: No doubt about it, Mai Muyo is a passionate competitor when motivated. But Ricky Soaring Eagle, well he's passionate about one thing, and that is hurting people.
Razz: With Sharkoff and Soaring Eagle in this contest, I wouldn't want to be Mai Muyo.
Russ: Triple Threat contest, let's go to the ring...
Mai Muyo vs. Ricky Soaring Eagle vs. Comrade Sharkoff Hero by Skillet brings a happy and cheery Mai Muyo to the ring. She seems very happy, but is it the fact that she got a win last week, or is it that the Reverend Stan Fulton is in the stands to cheer her on?
“Moscow Calling” by Gorky Park brings out the pride of Russia, Comrade Sharkoff. Sharkoff is so irate that Mai beat him last week that he sent Mila Kunis back to the US to try to find more information on Mai.
Iron Maiden's “Run to the Hills” brings out Native American Ricky Soaring Eagle. He still appears to have a lot of rage, but he isn't threatening everyone, just those who make his life a problem.
A very uncomfortable feeling comes over the fans as Ricky Soaring Eagle and Comrade Sharkoff look at each other and smile and shake hands. Mai Muyo walks over and offers her hand to Sharkoff and he takes it...only to pull the young evangelist in for a short arm clothesline.
As Referee Mel Creech calls for the bell things already look quite dark for Mai. She is on her back as Sharkoff puts the boots to her while Ricky Soaring Eagle keeps Creech tied up. As Creech breaks away from RSE and goes to officiate the match Sharkoff lets up on his pressure to argue with Creech...an act which allows Ricky Soaring Eagle to pick up Mai, not a small woman at 5-9 and 180, but he presses her high over his head and just drops her like a bag of laundry, then runs into the ropes and falls on her with all his weight...but doesn't go for a pinfall! Instead, RSE stands up and begins arguing with Mel Creech, which allows Sharkoff to start tapping that artificial foot to the mat, and the big Russian delivers a devastating kick to Mai's head and busts her open!
Sharkoff looks at Mai and gestures to Soaring Eagle to come over, and the big Russian throws Mai into the ropes and Sharkoff and RSE lock wrists and deliver a devastating Clothesline.
Sharkoff stands back as RSE picks up Mai for the Return to the Earth. But Ricky doesn't even try for a pin. Instead Sharkoff picks up a barely conscious Mai Muyo and throws her into the corner and follows up with The Sickle! Mai slumps in the corner but neither man is making a move toward ending this match. Instead Soaring Eagle picks up Mai and hits Sitting Thunder. Both Sharkoff and RSE are laying the kicks into Mai and she's not able to defend herself. Creech tells Sharkoff to let up, which gets Sharkoff to turn and threaten the referee. A similar request by Creech to RSE gets him more than a threat, it gets him pushed down, which tells Creech to signal that this match is over.
WINNER by Disqualification – Mai MuyoCreech further orders the two to back up. But the beating continues....
..until a very large man scales the barricade in the form of the Reverend Stan Fulton! Fulton steps up the stairs and into the ring and tears into both opponents. As Fulton presses the attack, Sharkoff decides to return to his dressing area and continue the fight another day. Not so much with Ricky Soaring Eagle, who ends up eating a Dropline for his efforts. RSE decides that more payback isn't worth it and walks away.
Fulton walks over to where Mai is laying crumpled in the corner after the assault and quietly kneels beside her. The crowd is hushed as slowly Mai looks up and wipes away the blood and hair from her eyes and sees the Reverend Stan there. He offers her a hand, and she slowly takes it...and then leaps into his arms for a gigantic hug, which brings the crowd to it's feet. Fulton gingerly sets Mai down and rolls out of the ring and picks her up and carries her backstage, and Mai waves to the crowd as the couple disappears behind the curtain.
Russ: Well, that was something else, Razz.
Razz: Mai Muyo got in the way of two men seeking to send a message...Russ, you heard something from the back?
Russ: Indeed, Razz. It appears that Fulton and Muyo went directly out back to a waiting vehicle and have left the building. We know that Fulton needs to fly back to the states and put his attempt to come back to the OOWF on hold to to family medical issues. Now Muyo has left the building. What does this mean, Razz?
Razz: It would be very easy to assume that Mai is going to stand by her man, but we will just have to wait and see what it all means.
Russ: Right now, a non-title match featuring our Intercontinental Champion, Danny Taylor, against a newcomer who is quickly making his mark here.
Razz: Taylor finds himself being looked up to by a newcomer, DK Murphy. Now they face off again in the ring.
Russ: Taylor this week is challenged by someone a bit younger but just as strong as he is. The question is, can Taylor compensate for that in the ring.
Razz: It's not all about strength. Taylor is a great grappler and he is becoming one of the greats. Many people in the dressing rooms say he's one of the best pure wrestlers in the OOWF in years.
Russ: Danny Taylor and DK Murphy face off, let's get to the ring.
Danny Taylor vs. DK Murphy – Non-title match The Dropkick Murphys bring out newcomer DK Murphy. Murphy smiles and slaps hands with the fans, but it is clear he is nervous for this match with
POD's Here comes the Boom brings out the Intercontinental Champion Danny Taylor for this non-title match. Danny smiles and waves to the fans.
Both men shake hands in the middle of the ring as referee Angelo Barrios calls for the bell. The two big men lock up in a test of strength which Murphy wins and backs Taylor into the ropes. Murphy tries to throw Taylor across the ring but Danny reverses the throw and Murphy comes off and into a brick wall! Danny doesn't move. Murphy hits the ropes again and again Danny doesn't budge. Murphy strokes his chin and hits the ropes again, but this time he slides around Danny, hits the other set of ropes and as Danny turns hits him with a flying forearm that staggers Danny. Murphy follows up with a solid run of forearms and European uppercuts. He whips Danny into the corner and follows with a spear. Murphy tries to whip Danny across the ring into the other corner, but this time Danny reverses it and goes to follow in with a big clothesline...except Murphy had that scouted and drops down and Danny hits the turnbuckle chest first. Murphy goes for the quick rollup but only gets the one count. As Murphy continues to press the advantage he drops a lateral leg drop across Danny's throat and then picks the big man up to attempt the CHOMP but Danny reverses the attempt into a Dynamite Drop! Danny smoothly transitions into the TNT but he is too close to the ropes and has to break the hold. Murphy fires back with solid forearms and European uppercuts, forcing Danny back into the ropes. DK attempts to throw Danny across the ring, but Danny reverses and DK heads into the ropes and runs into a Clothesline. One Dynamite Drop later and Danny has the pinfall!
WINNER – Dynamite Danny Taylor Murphy slaps the mat in frustration, then walks right up to Danny face to face and extends his hand. Danny takes it back and holds up his hand in a show of good sportsmanship as this match ends.
Russ: Danny Taylor has seen the future, and it is DK Murphy.
Razz: I honestly thought we had an upset in the making there, Russ. Murphy is that damned good, and I think that Danny knows he got out of there with a win just by the skin of his teeth.
Russ: An excellent match between two top flight competitors. Now a match that honestly could be a main event anywhere in the world as Ghosthead takes on Firewoman.
Razz: Ghosthead has come a long way in his time here, and Firewoman is a Grand Slam Champion, but both have been, shall we say, preoccupied lately?
Russ: Whatever this Blood Moon Rising business is has had both these outstanding competitors distracted.
Razz: It does seem to have gotten into the head of Firewoman, but what does it all mean, Russ?
Russ: Your guess is as good as mine. Right now, let's get to the ring.
Ghosthead vs. FirewomanThe lights darken and
Sevendust’s “My Ruin” comes on the jumbotron as Ghosthead walks down the ramp. White fog pours from under the ring covering the mat and ringside as Ghosthead enters the ring. He climbs to the top turnbuckle and sits down awaiting his opponent.
“Firewoman” explodes from the speakers and anyone still in their seats jumps up as the first female Grand Slam Champion comes down the ramp.
Referee Mel Creech calls for the bell and this match is underway. Firewoman and Ghosthead slowly feeling each other out until finally they lock up. Fire is backed into the ropes and Ghosthead's attempt to throw her across the ring is reversed and Fire takes Ghosthead down with a deep arm drag. Ghosthead works his way to a vertical base and backs her into the ropes. He throws her across the ring and this time catches her with a Spinebuster. The impact slows Fire significantly as Ghosthead picks her up and throws Fire into the corner and follows up with the Big Splash! Ghosthead tries it again but this time Fire kips up on the turnbuckle as Ghosthead follows her in and she springs over him and hiplocks Ghosthead for a German Suplex. Fire kips up and turns to face Ghosthead...
...when there's a disturbance on the stage as Matt Folz comes out to watch the match. Firewoman has words for Folz and turns to face him as he walks down the ramp. Ghosthead, meanwhile, hits the ropes and clobbers Fire with the Eidolon and she falls. Ghosthead picks up Fire...HORROR DRIVER. Creech counts one, two, three.
WINNER – Ghosthead Ghosthead walks up the ramp toward Folz who slowly backs up the ramp and behind the curtain as Fire picks herself up and seems to be in a fog again, moving slowly but normally as she leaves the ring.
Russ: Does Matt Folz have a death wish?
Razz: Folz seems set on interjecting himself in the title picture, but I'm not sure if I would want to pick a fight with these two.
Russ: Poking either Firewoman or Ghosthead with a sharp stick is likely to get that sharp stick right upside your head.
Razz: Or get it shoved right up your...
Russ: Easy, big man. I know we haven't heard the last of this. Right now, tag team action with some serious heat behind it.
Razz: The history between Alexis Darling and A'isha al-Tikriti is lurid and vicious, and to keep that from getting out of control, General Manager Selena has made this a tag team match tonight.
Russ: These two women just don't like each other, and it'll be interesting to see how The Kai and Alexander Darling keep things under control...if they can. Let's go to the ring.
The Darling Twins vs. The Kai & A’isha al-Tikriti All the lights go out in the arena as
“Sail” fills the arena and a single white spotlight falls on the two hooded figures at the top of the ramp, and Alexander and Alexis Darling. The twins walk slowly to the ring, and Alexander perches atop the top rope and his sister stands in front of him focusing on the ramp.
"Gal A Bubble" by Konshens brings out the Onslaught Champion The Kai! Accompanying The Kai is A'isha al-Tikriti. The Kai pauses and mugs at the top of the ramp until A'isha prods him onward. The Kai climbs into the ring and mounts the turnbuckle to play to the crowd. He jumps down and turns toward Alexis and smiles as only The Kai can. But the trash talking has already started between A'isha and Lexie, and this one will most likely not be a five-star classic.
After much argument Alex and The Kai start out. Alex and The Kai put on a solid wrestling exhibition which has the crowd on it's feet. Lexie and A'isha however are not appreciating the contest though as both want their chance to get in, and finally The Kai gets a little to close to his corner and A'isha smacks him on the behind to force the tag. The Kai gives A'isha the eyebrow and lets her into the ring. Lexie is apoplectic demanding the tag from her brother, and Alex sighs and tags his sister in.
The contest turns much more physical as these two women tear into each other with strikes and kicks that would take lesser people's heads off. But Alexis Darling and A'isha al-Tikriti are not just anyone. It's only the occassional interjection of The Kai and Alex that this match doesn't get thrown out. Finally Lexie gets the upper hand as she hits a spinebuster off the ropes on A'isha, and Lexie goes for a big Moonsault. But A'isha was playing possum and gets out of the way and Lexie eats canvas. A'isha picks up Lexie and hits a stiff snap suplex, then climbs to the top rope and hits a beautiful Shooting Star Press! Referee Junior Hale counts One, Two, Th....no! Alexander Darling comes in to break up the pin, and that gets The Kai into the ring and now it's a four way brawl as Alex and the Kai get into it. The Kai goes for a Reef Bottom, but Alex is able to reverse it into a Flatliner. Alex throws The Kai out to the floor and turns to his sister who is mounting a comeback on A'isha. The siblings look at each other and smile as Lexie takes A'isha down with a DDT. Lexie climbs to the top rope as Alex picks up A'isha and hands her to Lexie...DARLING BOMBSHELL! Junior Hale gets Alex out of the ring and the he turns and counts the pinfall, 1, 2, 3...the Kai gets in a moment too late.
WINNERS – The Darling TwinsLexie is pumped with the win, as The Kai and Alex look at one another and shake their heads. The Kai offers his hand to Alex and they shake. The Kai raises his eyebrow an extends his hand to Lexie, but A'isha gets between them and pushes The Kai back and she startes to go after Lexie again and Lexie is more than willing to go some more, but fortunately The Kai and Alex corral the women and get them out of the ring an dto the back.
Russ: The more experienced team walks out with the win tonight, Razz.
Razz: But nothing was settled between Alexis Darling and A'isha al-Tikriti. They are both ready to rip each other's heads off.
Russ: I expect this conflict is a long way from being resolved. Right now, a number one contenders match for the World Tag Team Championship. The former champions Texpress face off against two teams that just don't like them, Power and Glory and LD Williams and Stank.
Razz: For whatever reason, Texpress is in the crosshairs of these two teams who just don't like them, and if I were Texpress, I'd be worried.
Russ: The former champs have over a hundred wins as a team, and their success is hard to deny, but the Neals have made no secret of their distain for Texpress, and particularly for Chad.
Razz: Meanwhile LD and Stank feel that the Texans have disrespected them. Remember Russ, LD and Stank are both Grand Slam Champions. That means they've each held a Tag Team Title before. They're not strangers to this game.
Russ: No games tonight, I expect that Texpress will emerge the number one contenders tonight in spite of what their opponents say, but let's go to the ring.
Texans vs. P&G vs. LD & Stank - #1 Contender’s Match - SFJ Sunny makes her way to ringside as the guest ring announcer for this contest.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a Triple Threat Tag Team contest. The winners will be the number one contenders for the World Tag Team Championships.”
“Introducing first, from Emporia Kansas, at a combined weight of 444 pounds, Power and Glory!”
Two Steps from Hell's “Fortress of Seduction” brings the new look Power and Glory to the ring, with new pink collars, pink ringwear...and pink hair. Both twins seem to be exuding an immense amount of confidence, which is unusual given their opponents tonight.
“Introducing from Hotlanta Georgia, 334 pounds, a Grand Slam Champion, Stank! His partner, also a Grand Slam Champion, from Cambridge, Ontario, Canada, 235 pounds, LD Williams!”
Nonpoint's “Skin” brings a team of Grand Slam Champions to the ring in LD Williams and Stank. They are extremely focused as they enter the ring. Power and Glory step over and offer their hands, and the two teams share a friendly handshake.
“And finally, from San Antonio Texas, at a combined weight of 555 pounds, Chad and Zane, they are Texpress!”
Big & Rich's
"Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" brings out the former Tag Team Champions Texpress.
Zane and Stank will start off in this one fall Triple Threat match. The two big men lock up in the middle of the ring and talk about your irresistible force and immovable object! These two expended a ton of energy and couldn't budge the other. Finally Power leaps to a turnbuckle and hits a dropkick on Zane that knocks him over. Stank is all like, WTF? Power just smiles and Stank presses the advantage, which is nearly lost after the delay, but Stank begins clubbing away at Zane and forces him back to the ropes. Glory reaches over for the blind tag with Stank, and Stank whips Zane into the ropes and hits the big Spinebuster. Glory is perched on the top rope and yells at Stank “Move!” The big man moves just as Glory comes off with the Alabama Jam! She rolls and tags in LD Williams, who is surprised but Glory just smiles.
LD continues to press the attack on Zane by shifting the focus to the legs with sharp strikes and stands on Zane's left foot while locking his right foot into a standing anklelock. Glory distracts referee Angelo Barrios as Power climbs to the top turnbuckle and dives onto the right leg of Zane which elicits a yowl from the big Texan. Power then rolls out of the ring and holds out her hand for a tag. LD tags Power in who grabs the right leg while LD has the other leg and smiles as they both treat Zane like a wishbone for the count of four and a half.
Power pulls Zane close to the LD and Stank corner and locks in an Indian Death Lock. Power points to Chad trying to come in which distracts Barrios who doesn't see LD and Stank grabbing Power's arms and pulling her up to put additional pressure on Zane's knees. As Barrios puts Chad out Glory begins arguing with Barrios which gets Chad upset again and the lather-rinse-repeat cycle puts a ton of damage on the big man's legs. Barrios finally catches the added assistance and demands the break. Power untangles herself from Zane's legs and tags in Stank, who continues the pressure on the legs of Zane and grinds into the back of the knee with an ankle lock. Zane slowly tries to make his way across the ring but Power distracts Barrios as Glory leaps to the top turnbuckle and leaps off the top rope planting a knee into the small of Zane's back, then helps Stank to get Zane back into the wrong corner.
Zane begins fighting his way to his feet and gets Stank to release the hold on his leg and rolls across the ring into his own corner. Chad comes in all house o'fire and knocks Power and Glory off the apron, knocks LD off the apron, and lays into Stank with his usual array of kicks and dropkicks. Chad goes to whip Stank into the ropes but he reverses and Power drives a knee into Chad's back as he comes off the ropes and Stank levels Chad with the Big Boot! Glory calls for the tag and jumps on the top rope and hits a huge Shooting Star Press! Glory hooks the leg....but Stank pulls her off! Glory stands up to Stank and gets in his face, well, as much as possible, what with Stank being eight inches taller than she is, but she still gets her two cents in, and that brings in Power to try to calm her sister down...and Power coming in gets LD Williams involved...and all at once the twins and Stank and LD are brawling amongst themselves, and that gives Zane and Chad a moment to catch their breath. Chad looks over at Zane and climbs the turnbuckle, Zane steps in and Chad springboards off Zane's shoulders and takes down the brawling teams with a huge dive and knocks them mostly out of the ring. Zane follows out to the floor and starts slugging away against Stank, who grabs the timekeepers chair and Zane grabs the ring announcers chair and begin dueling, Power is slugging away at LD, and Glory and Chad are back in the ring as Barrios tries to restore some sort of order. Chad has Glory down and is climbing to the top rope, probably for a splash of some type. He stands atop the top turnbuckle....
...and Sunny climbs up the steps next to the ring and pulls down the rope. Chad falls awkwardly on his head in the middle of the ring. Glory smiles, blows Sunny a kiss, and picks up Chad for an Air Raid Crash! But Glory's not done. She picks up Chad for … a C4 Driver! Chad is out, and Glory covers. Referee Angelo Barrios doesn't see the interference, but does see the cover, one, two, and three!
WINNER – Power and Glory!The timekeeper rings the bell as the brawling continues at ringside and Chad is out like a light. Barrios raises Glory's hand as Power and LD stop their fighting and all three start to help Stank with Zane and soon it's 4 on 1 as Stank gets Zane up for a Stank-U on the Floor! The timekeeper keeps ringing the bell and the Darling Twins come down to even up the odds. The brawl continues for a few minutes until Stank and LD and Power and Glory decide they've enjoyed as much of this as they care to. Sunny makes the announcement.
“Your winners of this match, and the new number one contenders, Power and Glory!”
As the two teams make their way up the ramp, they shake hands as they realize that while Power and Glory may have the Title shot, they left Texpress laying in the ring once again.
Russ: Those Jezebels did it again! They cost the Texans their title shot, dammit!
Razz: The die is cast, Russ. Power and Glory will get a title shot against the winners of our next match. But you know that LD Williams and Stank aren't totally happy about that.
Russ: They helped Power and Glory take out the Texans, but what was Sunny thinking?
Razz: Perhaps the twins have found themselves a new ally in their battles here.
Russ: Whatever the case, I'm sure there will be repercussions. Meanwhile, Tag Team Championship time, and honestly, these two team deserve each other.
Razz: Russ, you met these guys before the show, what can you tell us about them?
Russ: You just won't believe it. Let's go to the ring and let you see for yourselves.
Banned from Everywhere vs. Norsemen (Nhoj Strebor & Naed Namwob) – Tag Team Title Match Insane In the Brain brings the whacky team of
Banned From Everywhere to the ring. Awesome Bill form Dawsonville is wearing his Championship belt around his waist aboard Drunkey, while Justin Sane is atop Drunkette, who is wearing the belt around her neck like a necklace. Behind this whole mess is Ellie May from Elijay on her Likkercycle.
An unfamiliar song is heard from the loudspeakers (NSFW) as the Norsemen come to the ring. Nhoj Strebor is a tall man, about 6-2, maybe 280. He is wearing a smoking jacket and has a Meerschaum pipe in his mouth. His partner, Naed Namwob, is a lean man, probably 6 foot even, about 150 pounds, with a hairstyle similar to Larry Fine of the 3 Stooges. Both are atop miniature Shetland Ponies and are being led to the ring by the beautiful Norwegian beauty Ielle Yam, dressed immaculately in a sheer silk chemise enhancing her significant...assets. Now Naed Namwob has hopped off his pony and is busy around ringside distributing Five Euro notes to the crowd.
There is an uncomfortable feeling as the teams enter the ring, almost, as that great philosopher Yogi Berra said, a feeling of Deja Vu all over again. Bill offers the team what may be a swig of Pine Cone Party Likker, but the Norsemen decline when Naed gets a whiff of the alleged beverage and his hair straightens. Meanwhile Ielle Yam reaches into her chest...that she pulled behind her...and hands the Norsemen bottles of milk. Bill asks the Norsemen if they are NASCAR fans, and Nhoj tells the boys what he thinks of Dick Trickle. Once Ellie May explains what they meant, the fight is on like Grey Poupon.
Bill picks up Naed and hurls him out of the ring. Then Bill picks up Justin and hurls him on top of Naed and they roll around on the floor as Bill tears into Nhoj for defiling the memory of his favorite NASCAR driver. Outside the ring words are being exchanged between Ellie and Yam. Eventually the two ladies are pushing and shoving outside the ring. Justin and Naed try to separate the women, but the woman punch both of the men out. Back inside the ring Nhoj and Bill exchange punches but Bill gets the upper hand and throws Nhoj into the ropes...MASON DIXON LINE! Bill scoops up Nhoj and hits the DIRTY BIRD and Nhoj is TUO! Referee Junior Hale cound 1, 2, 3, and this match is over!
WINNERS – Banned From Everywhere The squabble between Yam and Ellie May spills into the ring, and somewhere you can hear Joey Styles screaming “Catfight”. Eventually Yam gets the upper hand and rips off Ellie May's flannel...to reveal a similar black Silk Chemise! Bill is aghast and begins pummeling Nhoj for allowing this to happen. The Norsemen and Yam flee, leaving a recovering Justin and Ellie May in the ring as Bill grabs a quart of what may be PCPL and climbs atop the Lithuanian Announce Table to toast the crowd...
...when Power and Glory hit the ring and throw Ellie May out of the ring and hit DOUBLE ELIMINATION on Justin Sane. Not content with that, Glory climbs to the top turnbuckle as Power hoists Justin up..Glory hits a C4 from the top rope! Bill tries to come to the aid of his friend but the twins hit a Double Dropkick to knock Bill back outside. The Twins get Bill up on the Lithuanian Announce Table and hit DOUBLE ELIMINATION! Not content with that, Glory picks up Bill for a Spike Piledriver on the table which collapses from the impact. The twins walk over to the timekeeper table, pick up the Tag Team Championship Belts, and hold them high over their heads to the boos of the crowd. Both twins get that evil smirk on their faces as they take the belts and drape them over the carcasses of Bill and Justin, make the sign of the cross over each of them, walks over to a cowering Ellie May and drape the remnants of the Burlap over her, make the sign of the cross over Ellie, and walk backstage.
Russ: Dammit to hell, Razz, are those Jezebels going to steal the Tag Team Championships?
Razz: The way things are looking, they are ensuring that they do something their father never did, hold World Championship gold!
Russ: But the way they're going about it...
Razz: All's fair in love, war, and the OOWF.
Russ: Folks, we want to take a moment to remind you that we are just nine days away from the next OOWF Pay Per View, November Pain 6, coming to you live from Kiev in the Ukraine on November 25th, and next week our Iron Curtain tour continues as this program emanates live from Minsk, Belarus.
Razz: This is going to be an interesting trip as the city is in the middle of a growth cycle with the 2014 World Hockey Championships coming. This could be a lot of fun, Russ.
Russ: Well, next us, our main event for the World Tag Team Title as Chris Evans faces Davin Moreland.
Razz: The Genetic Freak is on a roll, but the question is, will this be Moreland's night, or will Evans hold on to that title tonight.
Chris Evans vs. Davin Moreland – World Title Match Notorious fires up and out comes the Grand Slam and Six Pack champion Davin Moreland, who panders to the crowd for what seems like an eternity. As Moreland enters the ring ....
Iron Maiden's The Trooper brings the OOWF World Champion Chris Evans to the ring along with two gorgeous Lithuanian women, pop stars Violeta Tarasovienė and Jurga. As Evans gets to the bottom of the ramp he spins the ladies and slaps them on the behind sending them back up the ramp. Evans looks at Davin Moreland in the ring, smirks, and climbs in. Referee Davis Hightower calls for the bell and this one is on!
Evans and Davin and lock up. Davin has a huge size advantage, and shoves Evans across the ring. Evans dusts himself off, and starts to circle with Davin again. This time Evans fakes the lockup and tries the straight kick, but Davin catches his leg. Enziguri from Evans spins Davin to the ground. Chop Block gets him to the mat. Evans, works the legs and back of Moreland to some effect, but is unable to get Moreland down for more than a one count. Evans changes course and locks in a cross-arm breaker on Moreland. Moreland refuses to tap, and begins twisting and turning trying to get free. Moreland works his way to his feet forcing Evans to switch to a wristlock. Davin swings wildly with a big left hand, which Evans is able to easily duck. He grabs Davin's head as Davin twists around, and looks like he's going for a Bulldog, but instead takes Davin all the way to the ropes and hits a CYCLONE OF CHAOS! That might do it! Evans covers....1....2...NO! Davin is just able to roll the shoulder. Evans, dominating to this point, slaps the mat in frustration. He moves away and signals for Davin to get up. The crowd starts to cheer at this development. Davin slowly starts to stagger to his feet, and Evans signals for the EYE OF THE STORM. Davin is staggered but doesn't go down. Davin grabs Evans and hits a Slingshot Brainbuster on Evans. Davin doesn't cover, instead he yanks Evans up again for what appears to be a Delayed Vertical Suplex. Evans is essentially dead. Davin goes to cover, but Evans is halfway under the ropes. Instead of pulling Evans away and re-covering him, Davin locks Evans in. He tries for a Powerbomb....
...when Firewoman comes out on the stage and is followed shortly by Matt Folz who attacks her from behind. The squabble is brief and ended when Fire spews the Red Mist on Folz. The distraction is enough, however, for Moreland to catch a borderline low blow from Evans. Evans picks up Moreland, hits the Way of the Future and rolls up Moreland. Referee Davis Hightower counts 1 as Evans catches the middle ringrope for leverage and Hightower counts 2 and 3 and never sees the infraction.
WINNER – Chris Evans Evans grabs his belt and heads up the ramp, stops at the flailing form of Matt Folz and lays in a few kicks to his former partner, looks at Firewoman and laughs. The laughter doesn't last long as Ghosthead steps out from behind Fire, and Evans decides not to pursue the matter. Fire looks at Ghosthead, who says “The Blood Moon has Risen”, and Firewoman says “The world will be mine!” and this graphic:
...appears on the Jumbotron.
Russ: Chris Evans pulls one out thanks to Davin Moreland's cousin.
Razz: Why did Firewoman come out here?
Russ: Well, possibly to witness her cousin taking Evans' title tonight
Razz: Firewoman and Ghosthead have both made it clear that it is their time to have the championship, could this be some sort of collusion between the two.
Russ: Let's face it Razz, we can't figure out Banned from Everywhere. How can we possibly figure this out.
Razz: Good point, Russ.
Russ: Fans, the Postgame show is up next, from Palanga, Lithuania, for Razz I'm Russ. Weill see you next week from Minsk, Belarus, for OOWF Midweek Mayhem. Good night, everybody.
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action! Be sure to check out the OOWF November Pain 6, coming to you Live! Sunday November 25th from Kiev, Ukraine! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem! November 21st, Live! From Minsk, Belarus . Did you see something you really liked? Post it here in the 2013 Awards Reminder Thread. Please join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights! And be sure to check out the full OOWF Archive and read up on the 8-year plus history of the OOWF!
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