OOWF Doomy Doomy Doom Doom II PPV

[mooseheadjack]

*Hardbody Harris is talking on his TRIK*D OWT TYTLE. Yes, the belt doulbes as a cell phone and a blackberry. It's a bit awkward, but the reception is FANTASTIC.*

HH: No, really Chris. Fievel was kidnapped. Yes, again. Yes, he was put in a safe. No, it wasn't Canadian Dragon. Yes, I know that it's odd for one Russian Immigrant Mouse to be kidnapped by two different people and locked in different safes within 6 month of each other. Just...just get over here, okay?

*Hardbody hangs up his belt and looks at the camera*

HH: Okay, Jack. You're a little sensitive, aren't you? I poke a little fun, have a few laughs, mock you and your attitude. And what do you do? You try to get under my skin, just like you do to everyone else. Jack, you're all about mind games. Career ending this, soul-destroying that. Well, I know you, Jack, but you don't know jack. You see, I know you won't let Fievel die. Because no one takes punishment like I do. And no one uses it like I can. I'm the #1 FACE IN THE OOWF! But I can be just as dark as you.

So, you leave Fievel in that safe. He survived for over a week in Canadian Dragon's. Just make sure you bring your antlers, your dim lightbulb, your catchphrase , and your quasi-homicidal facade to Midweek Mayhem. I'll pin you and then get my lil' buddy back. I would say, "trust me," but that implies that you have to do something. All you have to do is close your eyes and take it.

[mooseheadjack]

<Jack, dark room and all, but the safe is gone>

Harris, it's the same thing I told Alt, it is not all about fun and games anymore. If I get under your skin, well do something about it.

Harris, Harris, Harris, will I let Fievel die? Well, you think you know me so well. Just keep this in mind. Canadian Dragon is soft, he took your stupid little mouse and had him in a big ass safe, plenty of air right? Now think about the safe your little buddy is in, rather small if you recall. How much air could there possibly be in there? Are you willing to bet your friend's life on it?

Harris, you say no one takes punishment like you do, is that something you really want to put to the test. Remember Harris, I held your life in my hand once, and I let you live. Do you really want to give me that option a second time?

The ball is in your court Harris. The decision is yours. Would I let him die? Would I care if you were furious coming into our match? Do you think I would give a damn that you are pissed off and out for blood? You decide what you want to do, you decide to bring the anger......

YOU DECIDE TO LET HIM DIE!!

you can't live with it, I can

Trust me

[mooseheadjack]

*Hardbody is pacing around a locker room, Moosehead Jack's words reverberating in his head. Finally, Chris Alt comes in snaps Hardbody out of his trance.*

CA: Dude, dude, focus. What's wrong? I haven't seen you like this since you had too much to drink and had to send that girl home because lil' Hardbody wasn't exactly ha....

HH: How well do you know Moose? What kind of man is he?

CA: Well, everyone knows that he's ruthless, cruel, intimidating, bloodthirsty...

HH: That's what I'm wondering. Is he really? He teamed up with Concrete for almost 6 months. His bloodlust didn't get in the way of his job. He always talks about ending careers, but has he ever REALLY done his worst? Before your brutal match at Doomy Doomy Doom Doom, he talked the talk, but you came out of it alive.

CA: Yeah, but he's spooky! He's always using big words and sitting under a lightbulb and saying mean things. Like one of those Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark Books! Remember that one about the Viper?

Donovan Viper: I AM NOT A HOMO!

CA: No, dude. It was this one where a guy was calling and said, "I am the viper. I'll be there in five minutes." Then he calls back and says that, "This is the viper. I'll be there in one minute." And then he calls again and says, "This is the Viper. I'm right outside your door!" And then he knocks, and opens the door, and says, "I am the Viper, and I'm here to vipe your vindows!"

*Alt rolls on the ground laughing*

DV: I AM NOT A WINDOW WASHER! *leaves*

HH: Anyway, is Jack really serious? Or could he be all talk? I don't want to forfeit the title, but if I have to save Fievel, I'll do what I can. Should I call his bluff? This is the #1 QUESTION IN THE OOWF!

*Hardbody is left pondering as Alt is still laughing on the floor.*