OOWF Doomy Doomy Doom Doom II PPV

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF Doomy Doomy Doom Doom II!
Live! October 30th From the Pine Barrens, New Jersey

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Donovan Viper vs. Hardbody Harris

OOWF Intercontinendal Title Match[/u]
LD Williams vs. Mr. Jealous

OOWF Worl Tag Team Title Match[/u]
wCw vs. The Team From Down Under

OOWF Onslaught Championship Triple Threat[/u]
Uncle Entity vs. Canadian Dragon vs. Thim Reynolds

Barbed Wire Hell In the Cell[/u]
Moosehead Jack vs. Chris Alt

ROH Elimination Finals - Winner Gets a Money-In-The-Bank Title Shot[/u]
Mercury vs. Capellan vs. Beast vs. SoulDragon vs. Eric O'Mac vs. Chris Cole

Firechild vs. Seraph
Johnny Adrenaline & Attitude Adjuster vs. UnderDawg & Blackdragon
Drink & Destroy vs. The Devil's Brigade
Dr. Murder & Mikey Styner vs. The Establishment
Phil vs. Microplay
Mark Vander vs. Ax-Man vs. Corax


Card subject to change, but will it? The Shadow Knows!

[mooseheadjack]

Sexy Female Journalist #12 is standing by with one of the participants in the 6 Man Elimination Match for a shot at the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship, “The Main Event” Chris Cole.

SFJ: Chris, you are on a winning streak since striking out in single’s competition. What have been your keys to success?

Cole: Well sweet cheeks, it’s like this. I’ve been telling everybody around here that I am the greatest in this business. I have been saying this for almost a year now. I wanted to dominate the tag team division in BTW. With Luke Eliot, I did just that. I wanted to be the BTW World Champion. I did just that. Hell I was so great in BTW that I was even the Commissioner for awhile. Well I grew bored with my competition, or lack there of, in the BTW and I decided to stake my claim here in the OOWF. Things haven’t changed one single bit. I came here and found a great stable mate in Ax-man and we were the most dominate Tag Team Champs in company history. I have a trophy at home to prove it. I have been claiming all along what a great talent I am. They don’t call me “The Main Event” for nothing you know. I said that I would dominate in singles competition and I have.

SFJ: Well, you didn’t really dominate last week. Mr. Jealous looked like he had you ready to tap before your former tag team partner, Luke Eliot showed up and Jealous was counted out.

Cole: Do you know why you were hired here?

SFJ: Because I’m good at my job.

Cole: No, you idiot. You were hired because you are window dressing, eye candy, a nice piece of a**. If you had any brains up there you would know that domination can take many forms. Last week I dominated Mr. Jealous where it mattered the most. I defeated him up here (taps on his head). I can beat in the ring or out of the ring.

SFJ: I think I get it. How do you feel about your opponents in this upcoming match? It is truly a diverse field with a bunch of newcomers to the OOWF Title scene just like you.

Cole: Well, they are newcomers to the OOWF Title Scene but they are very unlike me. I am a true Main Eventer. I have headlined shows across the globe and picked up titles everywhere that I have been. These guys are a bunch of rag tag no names that happen to share the spotlight with greatness this Sunday. Mercury is a small time joke. The guy carries around crap that he throws in people’s eyes. He hasn’t done 1/10th the great things I have since joining this company. Capellan has Great Spirit and has a lot of balls but when it comes down to it, he isn’t Title material. He was a flash in the pan Onslaught Chump and he blew his big chance at a title shot. I’m not sure why that punk deserved a shot anyway. So what if he missed the Imperial Onslaught. I wrestled in that and survived to the Final Four. I earned my spot.

SFJ: What about Beast? He is the most experienced man in the contest?

Cole: Seems to me Beast has already defeated himself. A man that checks himself into rehab because management saw what a crap job he did last year and demoted him. I’ll treat him the same way I treated that no good punk Chris Alt.

SFJ: Well you will be tested by the styles of Soul Dragon and Eric O’Mac. How will you deal with their unique offense?

Cole: Soul Dragon rode Black Dragon’s coattails. And Black Dragon’s coattails aren’t that great so that pretty much sums up my feelings on Soul Dragon. As far as Eric goes I’ve been in the ring with him plenty of times before. When he was in Revolution XX he couldn’t get the job done and beat me for the Tag Titles and in single’s competition we will see a repeat of the same. You see it doesn’t matter who was put into this 6 Man match with me. This match is mine for the taking. I didn’t go through 36 other men in the Imperial Onslaught to be denied. I didn’t grind it out in the Triple Threat or against Jealous to be denied. It is my shot to win. Hardbody or Donnie Viper better get ready. Savor your victory tonight after Doomy Doomy Doom Doom. That title is coming home around my waist and it starts this Sunday.

[mooseheadjack]

Underdawg is in the locker room with Black Dragon.

UD: Once again, we get our hands on those Chickenshit Heels! Even though we beat them to a pulp last time, I still haven't gotten my revenge for melting my beloved chains into this stupid urn.

BD: Hey, you managed to make lemons out of lemonade, though. I mean, who ever thought you could wear an urn as a medallion?

UD: True. But I had to buy a new chain to do so.

BD: Still, you're rockin' it, man.

UD: Thanks. It doesn't change what I'm going to do to the Brothers Dumb this Sunday at Doomy Doom Doom.

BD: What's that?

UD: I'm gonna kill them!

BD: No you're not.

UD: No?

BD: WE'RE gonna kill them!

UD: I like that. (turns to camera) You hear that Attitude Adjuster? Johnny Adrenaline. Black Dragon and I, we're gonna massacre you. We're going to pound you into dust, your ashes will be put into this urn, and it will be thrown into the sea, where it will be eaten by a shark. You know what you're going to be? Shark poop. Fertilizer for Aquaman's lawn. (BD mouths: "Aquaman's lawn?" ) Johnny, Attitude. You two will NOT rest in peace, THERE WILL BE NO REST FOR YOU, and there will certainly BE NO PEACE!

BD: I didn't mean kill them, literally, man. I was talking figurative metaphors.

UD: Shark poop is a metaphor.

BD: Metaphor for what?

UD: I'M GONNA KILL THEM!

BD: No. WE'RE gonna kill them. But not literally. That's a metaphor, too, right?

UD: No. I mean it literally.

BD: Ah, shit....

[mooseheadjack]

Attitude Adjuster, Johnny Adrenaline, Ric Flair and Ron Simmons are in the lockerroom, getting ready for their PPV match at Doomy Doomy, Doom Doom II in Pine Barrens, NJ, and watching the UnderDawg/Blackdragon promo on OOWF-TV.

RS: Damn....








JA: Wait a minute! That's our entire promo? We set this all up some Ron could say "Damn..."?

AA: Uhhh, yeah?

RS: Damn...

[mooseheadjack]

Underdawg and Black Dragon are talking again.

BD: I've just realized that we've got our deck stacked against us.

UD: Why do you say that?

BD: The Chickenshit Heels have too many allies.

UD: So? We can deal with Niles.

BD: Not just Niles. They have Ric Flair in their pocket, and now Ron Simmons!

UD: Ric doesn't interfere with matches, so that's fine. But Ron.... I see your point. But you're the one who shooed away Batman.

BD: Oh, come on, what can Batman do against the a guy who was a) a multi-time tag team champion in WWF and WCW, b) a roman gladiator managed by an at-the-time-skinny crackhead, c) a race-hating overlord of a multicultural gang, d) a race-hating overlord of an all black gang, e) a bodyguard for hire, f) the first black heavyweight champion of the world, and g) a soldier of Satan?

Jim Ross: Ron Simmons was also an all-american defensive end at Florida State!

Jerry Lawler: Nobody cares where he played football! Why don't you tell us where Black Dragon played football, huh? Why don't you tell us where The Underdawg played football?

Jim Ross: No, you hurt my feelings.

UD: A roman gladiator? Damn, you're right. He's going to be a tough one.

BD: What should we do?

UD: Fight fire with fire.

BD: Literally or metaphorically?

UD: Literally....

BD: Ah shit.



Underdawg bursts into the Chickenshit Heels locker room with Black Dragon right behind him!

AA: YIPES!

JA: JEEPERS!

RF: WHOOOOOO!!!!

RS: DAMN!

Underdawg throws a fireball at Ron Simmons, IGNITING HIM INTO FLAMES!

BD: Faarooq! Faarooq! Faarooq is on fire! We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn!

AA: Burn motherfucker! Burn!

JA: C'mon, Attitude! Ron's our guy!

AA: Oh yeah.

RS: DAMN! C'mon guys, this hurts. Can I get some help here?

Just then, Firebreaker Chip (the former WCW tag team champion, not the resident OO high schooler) comes in to save the day! But Ric Flair gives him a poke to the eye and an elbow drop?!?

RF: No way, kid. You can't get in the ring with me. You... couldn't even... TIE MY BOOTLACES! WHOOOO! ROLEXES! WHOOO!! LIMOS! WHOOOO!

JA: What do we do now?

AA: We're DEAD!

BD: Jeesus, you guys are stupid!

Black Dragon grabs the Chickenshit Heels case of beer and starts dousing the flames off of Ron Simmons, while Ron is drinking up the beer being poured on him.

RS: DAMN! Once it hits your lips, it's so good!

UD: Why are you saving him, Dragon?

BD: Come on, Dawg. Our beef is with these two idiots, not Simmons.

UD: Fine. I'm sorry, Ron. I'm still gonna kill those two, though.

BD: Yeah, but let's save it for this Sunday in the ring, ok?

UD: Oh, all right. Well, at least Ron won't interfere in our match now.

Dawg and Dragon leave. Ron Simmons is passed out on the floor drunk.

AA: [sobbing, grabbing the emptied beer cans] Our beer....

JA: Goddamnit! Now it's personal. Attitude, it's time to get serious. No one missuses our beer and gets away with it!

[mooseheadjack]

Drink & Destroy are backstage with metrosexual male journalist #2.

MMJ#2 - Your next match is against The Devil's Brigade. Now as you know The Brigade will go to ANY lengths to secure a win. Your thoughts.

Stank - Well Metro, as YOU know we are the former 2 time and Future Tag Team Champions. Yes that's right WE haven't forgotten about those belts. The tag team landscape has changed a bit this year. There are a couple of new teams out there that are gunning for the championship. And then there are the ESTABLISHED teams that are looking to take over. And then you have... The Devil's Brigade.

MMJ#2 - What about them?

Stank - Camby and O'Neil... two of the toughest sumbitches alive. They care nothing of belts or glory. All they care about is wanton destruction and chaos. And for some reason they let that Tooty Fruity Viper hang out with them.

From somewhere down the hall we hear...

Viper - HEY! They HANG out with ME! and I'M NOT A HOMO!!!

FFC - Heh Heh. Whatever Vipes. Anyway what my partner is trying to say here is that at Doom...

The interview is interrupted by a familiar presence.

DJ - Finally... FINALLY.... The Rock HAS COME BACK... To the OOWF!

The crowd goes batshit INSANE as they see on the OOWFaTron The Rock arrive on the scene.

FFC - Well lookee here, Stank. It's The Rock!

Stank - Hey Rock. It's... good to see you. What brings you here?

MMJ#2 - OH WOW! I get to interview THE ROCK! Rock, let me tell you how much of an honor it is to allow me an interview.

DJ - Oh yeah? How much of an honor is it?

MMJ#2 - Well Rock I...

DJ - IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW much of an honor it is!

Crowd Chants - ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!

DJ - Now why don't you hand me that microphone, jabroni, and go find yourself some decent clothes. You look like the kind of guy who would like a taste of The People's strudel. Do ya wanna TASTE The People's... strudel?

MMJ#2 - Well n...

Stank - IT DOESN'T MATTER whether you want to suck down the strudel or NOT!

The crowd laughs as The Rock looks over at Stank incredulously.

DJ - Uh... yes... yes it DOES. The Rock doesn't let just ANYBODY have a taste of The People's Strudel...

MMJ#2 - Look, I don't WANT your... Strudel, not that there's anything wrong with that...

DJ - Whoa Whoa Whoa WHOA! Are you saying that you're to GOOD for the People's Strudel? Cause if The Rock baked for the other team, belieeeeve The Rock when he says you would LOVE The People's... strudel.

MMJ#3 - Well... I don't know what to say... maybe I'll...

DJ - Wha... wha... WAIT a MINUTE! Maybe? MAYBE? No no! You're NOT getting any of THIS you ssssssssssssssssssick FREAK! The Rock said IF he baked for the other team. Now hand The Rock the mic and get outta here before I layeth the smacketh DOWN on your CANDYASS!

MMJ#2 walks off camera clearly despondent.

FFC - Okay Rock. What brings you to the OOWF? It's not like we don't have enough former WWE superstars around here.

DJ - Well The Rock heard that this company was promoting his new movie DOOM, in theaters now, by delivering a kickass PPV devoted... to... the... mov... what's so funny?

Drink & Destroy are doubled over in laughter.

Stank - Ha Ha...Um...ha... I hate to break it to ya Rocky but... Doomy Doomy Doom Doom has nothing to do with your movie.

FFC - Yeah. It pre-dates that suckfest you call a flick.

DJ - What? My agent told me... The Rock is about to do something to his agent.

Stank - Wait wait... I love this... lemme guess. You're gonna take your boot.

DJ - Uh huh...

FFC - Shine it up real nice...

DJ - Yeah.

Stank - Turn that sumbitch sideways...

DJ - Bring it home now...

D&D - AND SHOVE IT STRAIGHT UP HIS CANDYASS!

DJ - If you smell... what The Rock...*Sniff* *Sniff*... What IS that smell?

Stank - Uh... nothin.

DJ - *raises eyebrow* IS COOKING!

The Rock walks off camera in the direction of The Rick's office.

FFC - Geez. Can you believe the EGO on that guy?

Stank - Like he needs OUR help to get people to watch his crappy movie... anyway Camby, O'Neil... we're NOT afraid of chaos or destruction.

FFC - At Doomy Doomy Doom Doom. Your plans to go over US, are gonna crash WORSE than Rocky's movie at the box office. You better watch your asses...BUDS!

[cut to commercial]

[mooseheadjack]

[Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster are sulking in their locker room.]

JA: Tell me exactly WHY we got back on that plane again. Not only are we gonna get slaughtered on Sunday but all of our alcohol is gone!

AA: Not ALL of it...

JA: Huh?

[AA pulls out a bottle of Ether from his bag.]

AA: We'll show those bastards! They can take our alcohol, but they can't take our spirit!

JA: That's nice and all, but we can't exactly drink that.

AA: Since when did you become such a lush, Johnny?

JA: I don't know, but it feels so good!

[Suddenly, the lights go out in the locker room. Some loud crashes are heard and a few seconds later, the lights come back on. Johnny and AA are out cold with a steel chair lying on the floor next to them. Fade to black.]

[mooseheadjack]

Drink And Destroy walk into O'Reilly's Pub in Pine Barrens, New Jersey. The see a large man crying to the bartender.

DJ- and....and then they said...they said that...The Rock's movie was crappy! BWEH HEH HAAAAAAAAAAH!

BT- Well no need to cry about it.

DJ- The Rock isn't, isn't crying...(sniff)

Drink And Destroy come up behind him.

FFC- Awww, you okay Dwayne?

DJ- Yeah! The Rock is fine! Now get the hell out of The Rock's face!

Stank- Awww.

FFC- Awww.

Stank- Richard Roeper get to ya?

DJ- No! Now get the hell out of here before The Rock lays the smacketh down on both your candy asses!

FFC- Oh yeah? Huh. Or are you just gonna spout the same tired catchphrases all day whilst speaking in the third person?

DJ- uh...uh...The Rock's...my whole life is a lie!

Stank- I feel that way too sometimes.

DJ- Really?

Stank- No.

DJ- (sobs)

FFC- But hey Rock, I was really scared when you had those contact lenses in Doom. And also when you were a CGI scorpion in Mummy Returns.

DJ- Yeah?

FFC- No.

DJ- (sobs)

Stank- How do we end this pointless seguement?

FFC- Better watch your candyass buddy!

Stank- Oh that was clever.

FFC- Really?

Stank- No.

FFC- (sobs)

(Be sure to check out HOTT~! pics of Drink And Destroy at www.frappr.com/OOWF!)

[mooseheadjack]

## After a brief but poilte knock on his door, Thim Reynolds enters theRicks office. theRick has his feet up on his desk and is aparently drinking whisky . . . it's 10am

TR: Morning theRick, lunchtime already

tR: chortle guffaw giggle . . . very funny Thim, what do you want?

TR: well a shot whisky wouldn't go amiss

tR: from here it would so no. Anything else or are we done?

TR: you must know why I'm here??

tR: let me guess. You've come here to complain about yout match at Doomy Doomy Doom Doom II because it isn't fair that you have to fight two people. It isn't fair that you can lose the title without getting pinned yourself. In short you've come here to cry like a chickenshit baby. Am I close??

TR: actually no . . .

tR: really?? OK then let's hear it.

TR: I think a triple threat for the title is a great idea. I've beaten all of these guys before and I know that I can do it again. Hopefully once I've beaten them for the umpteenth time you can give someone new a shot at the title . . . you know. Keep a little variety in this company??

tR: and?

TR: well my only problem is that, great an idea as this is, this week really isn't the best time - for you I mean

tR: and why would that be Thim

TR: well I think that you're a fair well meaning person and all you're trying to do is put on the best card and the best matches you can for the punters. It makes you money, it make us money and it makes the company money, right??

tR: so . . .

TR: having a match as great as this one is undoubtedly going to be when one of the participants is injured seems like such a waste. There's no way that Canadian Dragon is going to be able to hold his own in there with me and Uncle Entity in his current state.

## theRick stands and walka around his desk

tR: this ios very benevolent of you Thim . . . you sure this has nothing to do with your health? Nothing to do with the condition of your ribs?

## theRick gives Thim a hearty but friendly slap on the chest as he says - Thim, almost imperceptably, winces.

TR: No no, they're fine. I got through last weeks match OK, the strapping is holding up fine and they're getting better every day - no worries.

tR: OK then I tell you what I'll do. I'll have a quiet word with Canadian Dragon and see how he's feeling. If he really isn't feeling up to it I'll let him stand down and we'll just have to have a great one on one match instead. OK??

TR: . . . . yes . . . fine

tR: OK. Bye then Thim, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

[mooseheadjack]

<We come to Jack, sitting in a room lit by a single light bulb. The camera focuses on Jack, but for several seconds, he doesn't say a word, allowing a heavy silence to fill the air>

Chris Alt, we are two days away. You are forty eight hours away from what may well be the defining moment of your career. Now, I know you will say no, that the defining moment in your career was this summer when you went the distance with Hardbody Harris, or at Hell on Earth when you came oh so close to winning the world title....before you failed yet again.

Once again, as usual, Chris, you have it wrong. This match, your match against me this week will be the defining moment in your career. You think about this Chris, you have been hand picked by OOWF officials, you are the chosen one, you are the future of the OOWF, at least right now you are. You and I go into that cage, what have I got to lose? You beat me, it's not going to hurt me, hell I have my share of losses, everyone knows winning and losing mean nothing to me. But you? how is it going to look to everyone, the fans, the officials, the OOWF brass when once again, like always, Chris Alt comes up short.

Now, I know what you are going to say, you are not going to come up short, you have what it takes to beat me. Do you? Do you really Chris Do you have what it takes to have your face run into the cold steel. Do you have what it takes to feel your flesh ripping on a strand of barbed wire (as Jack says this he is pulling a piece of barbed wire across his forehead drawing blood). Most importantly Chris, do you have it in you, not only to take that from me - and make no mistake about it Alt, you WILL bleed - but to dish it out as well?

Alt, face it, you are a pretty boy, you say the right things, you do the right things, you look real pretty doing it too. At Doomy Doomy Doom Doom II, looking pretty in that cage will get you killed, and I will be happy to do it. Alt, for once in your miserable life, you better dig deep in your soul, be a man, and decide your fate. If you don't, I will do it for you. You will not like the results.

Trust me.

[mooseheadjack]

(Uncle Entity waltz into Canadian Dragon's dressing room with Jesse Garon in tow)

Canadian Dragon: Just what in the hell is going on here? A Beatdown? Let's go!

Uncle Entity: Easy easy there reptilian canuck. I am not here to put you in the crucifix or smash a cinder block over your head or crack pineapples on your face. I want to let you in on something I over heard just a little while ago. Thim Reynolds told the GM and I quote..."I've beaten all of these guys before and I know that I can do it again. Hopefully once I've beaten them for the umpteenth time you can give someone new a shot at the title . . . you know. Keep a little variety in this company??"

Does this sound like he's a bit overconfident? Look, I know you and I have taken each other to the limit. I take all my opponents to the limit. But Thim Reynolds' overconfidence shall be is undoing. I want to make you an offer. No matter what else happens at DDDD, Thim Reynolds gets beat. Got it? I am sick of him. I want him hurt. I don't care which one of us gets the title. I want Thim wounded.

Sound good?

[mooseheadjack]

Wrestler Released!

<GM the Rick steps to the podium and issues the following announcement>

As of 1:30 pm, this afternoon, October 28, 2005, the OOWF, attornies for Beast and attornies for Carl Coolname have reached an out of court settlement on pending rape charges levied against Beast by Carl Coolname for the actions of October 19, 2005. As part of the agreement, Carl Coolname has asked for, and recieved his full release from the OOWF and is free to seek gainful employment elsewhere.

We here at OOWF wish Carl Coolname the best in his future endeavors.

[mooseheadjack]

*Sexy Female Journalists 13 and SFJ 666 are sitting high on top of 40 foot ladders.*

SFJ#13: "You know, one good thing about Canadian dragon going batty is we can sit on these ladders with no fear."

SFJ#666: "Ummm, why are we sitting on ladders again?"

SFJ#13: "I thought it was your idea?"

*Just then the Batmobile goes flying through the parking lot and crashes into the ladders sending both Sexy Female Journalists flying to the gound, with SFJ#13 landing on the Ninja Camerman. The Ninja never drops the camera and continues to keep filming.*

NCM: "Uhhhh...get help...please...somebody..."

*The top of the Batmobile opens and out pops Canadian Dragon wearing a Batman mask. He looks down at the Ninja.*

CD: "Your head wasn't even on the job. All you could think about was Poison Ivy."

NCM: "Uhhh..what? Could you just help us, please? I think the girls are hurt!"

CD: "Girls? Cool...chicks dig the car!"

NCM: "Just please help us!"

CD: "Did anybody help me against Twoface and Riddler? Ok, there was Robin...but what about Mr. freeze and Poison Ivy? Oh yeah...Batgirl. Hey have you seen Batgirl? I gotta show her the new rims on the Batmobile. They be spinning!!!"

NCM: "Could you please just help us? the ladders have us trapped! And I think there's blood coming out of Sexy Female Journalist' 13's head!"

CD: "Agreed. A trauma powerful enough to create an alternate personality leaves the victim..."

NCM: "- in a world where normal rules of right and wrong no longer apply. That's great...but could you get us out of these freaking ladders?"

CD: "Exactly. A world where normal rules of right and wrong no longer apply. "

CNM: "Like you. I mean, a person could write a hell of a paper on a grown man who dresses like a flying rodent....IF HE WASN'T TRAPPED UNDER TWO BIMBOS AND TWO FORTY FOOT LADDERS!!!"

CD: "You make a good point. Now I gotta go find Batgirl before my match. Batman...Champion Of Gotham will soon be the NEW Onslaught Champion as well!!!"

*Canadian Dragon leaves the parking area as the Ninja starts cussing before we fade to black.*

[mooseheadjack]

*Hardbody Harris and Chris Alt are at their favorite karaoke bar, easing their recent pain with a couple of drinks. They're watching Moosehead Jack's promo on the TRIK*D OWT TYTLE which is set up against the wall of the booth, which causes other patrons of the establishment to ask their waitresses for a TV of their own. The waitresses explain that they don't have any, which causes the customers to complain discrimination. The ACLU eventually gets involved and it all gets ugly. Alt and Harris, however, are too engrossed in their own concerns to worry about this.*

HH: You know, Chris, I foolishly thought for one second that being the OOWF champion would let me have at least a one-month break from being left beaten and bloody in the middle of the ring to close the show. But noooo, we get destroyed to close out Midweek Mayhem and my head is still throbbing worse than the morning after I got hammered and destroyed my house looking for Beast. Remember that?

CA: Oh, God, you had a headache for two days and wouldn't eat anything but Tator Tots. I feel just as bad, but I gotta worry about Moosehead Jack "defining" my career tomorrow night. He doesn't care about winning; he'd prefer just as much to break my neck than get the three count on me. He'll try to crush my head, where you're facing Donovan Viper, and the only thing he wants to do with you head is...

HH: (holds up a finger and interrupts him) Sssssh! No innuendo. As soon as you mention anything about Viper, he pops up and gets all defensive. And I really don't need him showing up right now and putting a hurt on me before a PPV. Doomy Doomy Doom Doom II is one of the top 12 most important PPVs of the year, and I intend to walk out of it as champion.

CA: Good point. I'll try to keep my Viper comments to myself. But it's not me you should worry about; Beast is coming over here and he has a big mouth. He doesn't have much common sense, and I know Carl Coolname can attest to that.

*Beast wanders over to the table and sits down next to Alt, smile on his face*

B: Hi Guys! Mind if I sit next to you, or is this a meeting of BFFs only?

HH: No, go ahead, Chris and I were jus...

B: I know all about you and Chris. But I'm Chris's best friend too. Have you ever raped anyone for him? Huh? Well, I have. Now that's friendship.

HH: Well, I wouldn't nec...

B: Speaking of this, you have a match with Viper tomorrow, and I'm sure he'd like nothing more than to put...

*Alt puts his hand over Beast's mouth*

CA: Beast, quiet! You make any type of comment and Viper shows up. And we're half-drunk and wounded: no condition to fight him off. And Hardbody wants to go into Doomy Doomy Doom Doom without the #1 HEADACHE IN THE OOWF!

B: Oh, I gotcha. I won't ruin it. But I think you should worry about Blackdragon and Underdawg. They're up on stage getting ready to karaoke "It's Raining Men."

HH: SHIT-DICK! *Runs toward the stage*

B: Hey, that's my line!

*Blackdragon and Underdawg are up on stage and familiar music plays. BD and UD each have mics, and before HH can get there they speak.*

BD: Okay, we did this on a dare. I really didn't think Mr. Jealous could name all the states and their capitals, but he did.

Mr. Jealous: MONTPELIAR!!!!!!!

Underdawg: Right. Anyway, this song goes out to Donovan Viper. For him, it's not just raining men...it's Hurricane Gaytrina!

HH: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

*Donovan Viper barges in through the door and hits Hardbody with a chain-wrapped death elbow. Hardbody drops like a sack of potatoes.*

DV: I AM NOT A HOMO! But I'll gladly take your OOWF title tomorrow, bitch. Oh, and Dragon and Underdawg: you better not butcher this classic.

*Hardbody holds his head and moans as we fade to black*

[mooseheadjack]

wCw are examining the card for the PPV.

"Man, touch luck." JW slaps Capellan on the shoulder.

"Yeah." Capellan sighs.

"What's up, dudes?" Wilder looks confused, "Cap's got a killer six-way match this weekend, with a title shot on the line."

"A Money in the Bank title shot." JW clarifies, "That gimmick only works for a heel."

"Yeah, a face would just use the shot straight off." Capellan explains, "Money in the Bank means some whiny bitch is going to take the match. Which makes me wonder why Viper's not in it."

"Guys, aren't we breaking kayfabe here?" Wilder kinda jerks his head at the camera.

"Aw shit." JW mutters.

"Man, you coulda warned us there was an Invisible Ninja Cameraman around." Capellan gripes, then shrugs, "Ah well, they'll catch it in post-production, right?"

[mooseheadjack]

*Chris Alt sits in his dressing room hours before Doomy Doomy Doom Doom II is to begin. He is already in his wrestling gear, and is slouched in a corner, listening to an iPod. We see Hardbody Harris walk in and nudge CA with his foot*

CA (jumping up in surprise): I was- uh- it's not- I mean- everyone likes ONE Lindsay Lohan song.

HH: You don't have to justify it to me. Underdawg has an entire Hilary Duff CD.

CA: What's up, man?

HH: Dude, I just wanted to check on you. I know this thing going on with Moose has really been putting you through the emotional gauntlet- monster boy.

CA: Yeah...

HH: So what are you going to do? It's a pretty big-time match... a barbed wire hell in a cell? I mean, you know I consider you one of the best... but you're more of a finesse guy than a hardcore guy.

CA: I think I've got it in me to do this, Hardbuddy. I heard what Capellan said a week or so ago, and he was right- I'm not going to beat Moose by becoming the better monster. That's exactly what Moose wants me to do. I'm going to follow Capellan's advice and beat Moosehead Jack in the barbed wire hell in a cell by being the better man. I mean, that's how Moose beats people... he gets into their heads, controls their emotions, makes them think he's larger than life and bigger than God. But Moose is just a man, just like us. Flawed, imperfect, mortal, and beatable. Moose doesn't scare me anymore, Hardbody. I know I'm in for the fight of my life tonight- but the time comes when you either embrace your destiny and walk away from it- and if I'm really the OOWF's chosen one, like Moose says I am, then tonight is the night I step up, grab the brass ring, and show Moosehead Jack that he's just a man, just like me... and I'm the better man.

HH: That was beautiful.

CA: Thank you. And you... do us all a favor and kick Viper's ass.

HH: Man, you know it.

CA: Good luck tonight, buddy.

*The Superfriends give the JUMPING HIGH FIVE!!! as we fade to black*

[mooseheadjack]

---ACT ONE----

Viper, Ayaka, and Missy are at the interview area.

SFJ#911: Tonight, we have a rematch of last year's MADNESS match, where then-champion Donovan Viper successfully defended his title against Hardbody Harris, and made him leave the company in search of his loving feeling. 8 months later, it is now Hardbody Harris who is the champion, and Donovan Viper, looking for a loving feeling.

DV: Hey, I'm not a....

SFJ911: I didn't mean to infer...

DV: I'LL SHOW YOU RIGHT NOW BITCH!

Viper grabs Missy and makes out with her.

SFJ911: Ew, I see tongue.

DV: As I was going to say... Hardbody Harris. So now you know what it's like to taste OOWF gold. To taste MY OOWF gold...

HH: [in the background] I'M NOT A HOMO!

DV: Shut up! It's MY interview! Anyways, he's tasted my gold. And tonight, I'm going to take back what's rightfully mine. Hardbody Harris, I drove you crazy once when I kept you from winning the championship. At Doomy Doomy Doom Doom, you're going to go even more insane then before, when I've stripped you...

HH: [in the background] I'M NOT A HOMO!

DV: SHUT THE FUCK UP! ...stripped you from your TRIK*D OWT TYTLE and put it around my waist and become once again, the World Fucking Champion.

ML: You don't need a title be a fucking champion, you know...

DV: YOU KNOW WHAT, BITCH? I'M GONNA.... Oh wait, that was a compliment. Come here sugar pie. (makes out again)

SFJ911: Gross.... Um, so Viper, you've had two versions of the championship belt. When you get Hardbody's TRIK*D OWT TYTLE, will you keep it that way, or will you change it?

DV: I'm going to keep it for a while, sure. And on the video screen, will be a picture of Hardbody Harris, pinned on the ground, staring up at the stars, and going down...

HH: [still in the background] I'M NOT A HOMO!

DV: the path of ultimate insanity... Ok, this interview is over.

Viper, Ayaka, and Misssy run to the right, where the camera follows them.

----ACT TWO----

DV: Where is that fucker?

HH: [in the background] I'M NOT A HOMO!

DV: Where is that sound coming from? GYAHHH!!!

Viper and Ayaka go through the back area of the arena, accosting road managers, SFJs, Ric Flair, Canadian Batman, and random wrestlers as to Hardbody Harris' whereabouts, including Corax.

HH: [in the background] I'M NOT A HOMO!

Cor: I don't know. It just might be all in your head, you see, I've been having....

DV: I'm gonna FIND THAT MOTHERFUCKER!

HVICH: I told you he's not going to listen to you. No one listens to you anymore. Only I do.

Cor: Stop it! I swear, you're talking so loud everyone can hear you! It's like you're on the arena PA system or something.

DV: Arena PA system? That's it! Thanks, Cor!

Cor: No problem!

HVICH: You are the problem. I'm here to fix it.

Cor: But how...?

----ACT THREE----

The camera follows Viper out to the arena floor, where Hardbody Harris is standing in the middle of the ring with a microphone.

HH: Hey, look audience! It's my opponent tonight for the championship title! Don't be rude (yet ravishing), to our guest Hardbodimaniacs! Say hello!

Audience: HO-MO! HO-MO! HO-MO! HO-MO!

DV: I AM NOT A.... Oh fuck it.

Viper and Ayaka rush to the ring, and are about to run in when Chris Alt, Capellan, and Beast (who doesn't care about Harris, but is there to support Alt), make their appearance at ring side, weilding chairs.

HH: Aw, poor little Viper, can't get in the ring to bumrush me. Isn't that a shame, audience?

Audience: Awwww!

HH: You know what else you can't do, Viper? You can't make me lose my loving feeling again, you can't make me go crazy again, you can't beat me again, and you can never....

Audience: AND I MEAN EVER!

HH: Hey, that's not one of my catchphrases... Anyway, you can NEVER take this championship belt away from me.

Viper snarls.

HH: Homo.

The audience bursts into cheers and laughter.

Viper and Ayaka angrily walk to the back, as Viper grumbles: Great googily moogily. I hate that fucker so much...

[mooseheadjack]

Viper walks to the back very pissed when he runs into Harper Camby.

HC: Whoa there Donnie. Calm down.

DV: I will not calm down. Those fuckers called me a homo. AND I'M NOT A FUCKING HOMO.

HC: I know that. Don't worry, they'll eat their words after you become OOWF Champ again.

DV: Well now Alt, Beast, and Capellan are sticking their noses in our business.

HC: Not to worry. After me and Tommy beat D&D we'll be out to make sure nobody mnesses with your match. I think Tommy, myself, Corax, Missy, and Ayaka can stop anything those guys can try. We'll make sure the fight is.....fair.

DV: You better.

HC: (eyeing Ayaka) Donnie what are the chances of you hooking me up with Ayaka?

[mooseheadjack]

(This is long, split into 2 parts)

OOWF Doomy Doomy Doom Doom!
Live From the Pine Barrens, New Jersey

We open the show to the sound of a wispy voice, barely heard above the wind. A dark screen slowly fades to the image of the Pine Barrens under a cloudless night, brightly lit by a full moon. The voice speaks:
The Jersey Devil, the mythical creature of the New Jersey Pinelands, has haunted New Jersey for over two hundred years. This entity has terrorized towns and caused factories and schools to close down, yet many people believe that the Jersey Devil is a legend. There are many different versions of the birth of the Jersey Devil. One of the most popular legends says a Mrs. Shrouds of Leeds Point, NJ made a wish that if she ever had another child, she want it to be a devil (image of Firechild). Her next child was born evil (image of Moosehead Jack). She sheltered it in the house, so the curious couldn't see him. On stormy night, the child flapped its arms, which turned into wings, and escaped out the chimney and was never seen by the family again. The creature has taken many shapes, those who have witnessed the terrifying creature say:
It was about three feet and half high, with a head like a collie dog (image of a snarling UnderDawg) and a scarred face (image of Seraph). It had heavily muscled arms (image of Harper Camby) It could kick with its back legs and knock a man cold (image of Tommy O’Neil).It walked through the woods wailing like a demon, knocking trees to the ground and feasting on those weaker that itself (image of Beast).
The Jersey Devil's habit of being a forerunner to wars could be because of his possible demonic origins. Now the OOWF comes to New Jersey and brings war to the Pine Barrens. The devil's birth could have been a result of a witches curse (Phil).
In 1740 a clergy exercised the devil for 100 years and it wasn't seen again until 1890. One Hundred years ago, to protect their town from evil, the townsfolk cast the demon to the Pine Barrens; he has not been seen since, until tonight. (run through the images of all the OOWF superstars)
Evil returns to the Pine Barrens.

Ross: Welcome to OOWF Doomy Doomy Doom Doom II! It is good to be back calling live OOWF action!
Razz: You got that right Ross; it has been too long since we got to call some live action, and what a night we picked to come back!
Ross: We have a fantastic lineup for you tonight, every single OOWF title is defended, we have a barbed wire hell in the Cell match, and we have a six man elimination match, the winner gets a money in the bank title shot that he can use whenever he sees fit!
Razz: Man, let’s get to the action! I cannot wait to get the party started!
Ross: Our first match has some pretty significant implications. The Evil Wizard wants his men to get title shots, he voiced his concerns to GM the Rick last week, and Rick basically said that he would give them two weeks to prove themselves and then he would decide who got shots. Tonight, Microplay has a rematch against Phil.
Razz: Microplay got the win last week, and you know he wants to pick up another win this week and get a shot at Hardbody Harris’ title next week, but you got a really big man standing in your way, and he is not too happy about the loss
Ross: No he is not, I think Microplay got lucky last week, I think this is just motivating Phil to use his enormous size advantage, normally I would not go against Microplay, a former champion in his own right, but I think he may have pushed Phil just a little too far.

PHIL vs. MICROPLAY(w/The Evil Wizard)
MP cowers in the corner to begin things, trying to get last minute advice from the Wizard. Phil charges however and smashes Micro in the corner. To the other corner, and another avalanche. Double arm throw by Phil, followed up by a big leg drop that gets an early two count. MP rolls out to regroup, and Phil follows. Micro goes to the eyes to break the flow, but can't slam the big guy. Phil CAN slam Micro, though, and does on the floor. The Wizard has some words for Phil, but runs away when Phil makes a move in his direction. Head butt sends Micro back down and Phil lines up for a splash on the floor. But the Wizard jumps on Phil's back to stop that and Phil snap mares him off. The Wizard runs away, and Phil gives chase. But, knowing that chasing a heel manager is never a good idea, Phil turns around when he knows Micro is about to catch him, and clotheslines him down. Phil rolls back in, and The Wizard hops up on the apron and goes to cast a spell, but before anything happens, Micro simply sneaks back in and clips Phil's knee. MP stomps at the knee, then slams it on the apron a few times. The Wizard drops his scepter by Micro on the floor, then goes to distract the ref, and sure enough, Micro BREAKS the scepter on Phil's left knee! Cover gets two, but Micro stays on him. Another clip to the knee, and MP locks on a figure four, but Phil uses his strength to power out of it before Micro gets it applied. Phil gets to his feet, but the Wizard forearms him in the bad knee, and MP DDT's him for a two count. Figure four for real this time, and MP makes sure he has it locked on with a little leverage help from both the ropes and the Wizard. The official catches the shenanigans though, and forces a break. The damage is done however, and now MP stomps the hamstring a few times, then stretches it out with a flip. Super kick puts Phil down again. MP goes up top for a Dibiase fist drop, but Phil lifts the good leg and Micro eats boot. Phil manages to get to his feet and gets some shots in on Micro. To the ropes, power slam. One, two, and MP kicks out. Another Irish whip, but Micro reverses this one, and Wizard grabs Phil's leg. Before the Wizard can get away though, Phil grabs him by the jacket and pulls him up on the apron. Micro charges, but Phil backdrops him over the top rope. Phil pulls the Wizard in and drops him with a right hand. He sets the Wizard up for the YARPLEX, but Micro clips his knee mid-move! MP covers, but before the referee can get down to count, Micro changes his mind and goes up top. FLYING ELBOW DROP misses! Phil gets to his feet and looks for the ASTRO-PLUNDER BUSTER, but Micro gets a rollup to counter that. Another super kick by Micro is blocked however, and Phil hits the ASTRO-PLUNDER BUSTER again ~! For good measure Phil grabs MP and takes him down with a Yarplex as well. The three count is academic. Winner in 20:09: Phil

Razz: Good call on that one Ross! Phil pick up a big win over Microplay, a couple more of those and you have to believe that Phil would be in line for a title shot, how do you think Hardbody Harris would handle THAT challenge?
Ross: That would certainly be a conflict of styles, but I have to believe that the champion would find a way to get it done, that said, I would certainly not want to be in his shoes
Razz: But those ARE some nice shoes
Ross: Indeed they are. Up next, The Evil Wizard’s crew gets their second shot of the night, this is another rematch, last week Styner and Murder defeated the Establishment, but that was also before what appears to be a reorganization of The Establishment by Moosehead Jack – even though he denies it.
Razz: Well, there certainly seems to be something going on there, Moose denies it, but the fact of the matter is this, that crew came out and left Harris and Alt lying in the ring in a pool of blood, so it certainly appears that there is something to that story
Ross: The Establishment is a more experienced team, and we have already seen when they are motivated, they can be extremely dangerous. By the same token, the Wizard’s boys know that there is a potential title shot on the line here, this should be a great match.

MIKEY STYNER & DR. MURDER(w/The Evil Wizard) vs. THE ESTABLISHMENT

The Establishment comes in first and waits stoically in the center of the ring; Styner and Murder come in next accompanied by The Evil Wizard. Wiz seems to have his men focused, as soon as they hit the ring they attack and the match is on! Endo and Morte go on the offensive and clothesline Styner over the top rope, they turn to Murder, Murder grabs Endo and whips him into the corner, Murder charges in and tries a Coroner Splash, but Endo moves out of the way, as Murder staggers out of the corner, Morte takes him down with a spinning heel kick that sends him to the floor. Endo slides under the ropes and grabs Mikey Styner and slams his head into the railing, inside the ring, Morte waits for Murder to get to his feet then launches himself over the ropes and onto Murder sending them both sprawling up the ramp. Endo shoves Styner back into the ring and follows the big man in, inside, Endo clubs the back of Styner’s head and sends him to the corner and follows him in with a clothesline. Styner staggers out of the corner, Endo bounds off the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Styner catches him with a black hole slam! Both men are down. Outside the ring, Morte hits Murder with a snap suplex on the floor, then climbs to the apron and hits a running leg drop. Morte gets to his feet, flinches the Wizard, then sees his partner get destroyed with the black hole slam. Morte slides into the ring, as Styner gets to one knee; Morte runs across the ring and levels him with a shining wizard. The referee finally tries to restore order and sends Morte to the corner; Murder is slowly climbing to the apron in the opposite corner. The ref lays the ten count on Endo and Styner, Endo is slowly getting to his feet, he falls backward and makes the tag to Morte. Morte waits on the apron, as Styner stands up, Morte springboard off the top rope and hits a spinning heel kick that knocks Styner down once again. Morte covers, but Styner gets his shoulder up at two. Morte pulls Styner up to a sitting position and locks on a rear chin lock, pushing his weight on the back of Styner’s neck, forcing his head down onto his chest and cutting off his air supply. Endo comes starts to come into the ring, drawing Murder into the ring as well, while the referee is getting Murder out of the ring, Morte puts his feet on the top rope, increasing the pressure, to make things worse, Endo grabs Styner’s legs and pulls them upward, nearly folding Styner in half, Styner’s face turns beet red as his oxygen is cut off. Murder gets out of the ring and Morte is forced to get his feet off the ropes and Endo leaves the ring. Morte releases the hold, hits the far ropes and drops Styner to the mat with a dropkick to his face. Morte covers, but Murder makes the save at two, dropping an elbow across the back of Morte’s head. Morte is dazed, he reaches out and makes the tag to Endo; Endo comes in and nails Styner in the back of the head with a brutal forearm. Endo whips Styner to the ropes and calls for the claw, Endo doesn’t see Styner make the blind tag to Murder and he catches Styner in the claw. Before Styner can fall to one knee, Murder comes into the ring and clips Endo in the back of the leg breaking the hold. Styner leaves the ring and Murder pulls Endo to their corner. He slams Endo with some stiff chops, the ref gets in there to break them up and Styner wraps the tag rope around Endo’s throat and chokes him out. Endo tries to claw at Styner but can’t reach him, Murder charges in and buries his shoulder into Endo’s midsection, then pulls him out of the corner, scoops him up and plants him on the mat in the middle of the ring. Murder grabs Endo’s legs, spreads them, and drops a knee into his groin. Murder gets a warning from the ref, but the damage is already done. Murder locks on the figure four and Endo is in trouble. Endo fights the hold, but can’t make it to the ropes, just when it looks like he is going to be forced to tap, Morte baits Styner who comes into the ring, Morte leaps to the top rope and hits a flying leg drop on Murder. Morte grabs Endo and pulls him toward the corner so he can make the tag, the ref is still trying to get Styner out of the ring, Wizard jumps on the apron and tosses his scepter to Murder, Murder turns to use it and eats a boot to the face from Endo, Morte pulls Wizard off the apron on the outside and whips him into the guard rail. The referee turns around and sees Murder down, behind the ref’s back, Endo grabs the scepter and slams it into Styner’s head, knocking him off the apron then ditches the scepter on the outside. Morte slides back into the ring and Endo grabs Murder and sets him up and they hit ESTABLISH AUTHORITY! Endo covers and The Establishment gets the three count
WINNERS in 14:58 The Establishment

Ross: I gotta say that is probably the most motivated I have seen the Establishment in a long long time, perhaps there is something to those rumors of an Establishment reformation after all?
Razz: There may well be, but you also have to think, The Establishment knows GM the Rick was watching this match closely, trying to decide if Murder and Mikey deserve a title shot, the Establishment made a statement here tonight.
Ross: So, if you were GM the Rick, would you give the Wizard’s boys a title shot?
Razz: Yeah, I would. They have been a pretty consistent team since they started teaming, and the one thing you want to avoid as a champion is getting stagnant by facing the same team over and over again, if I were the Team From Down Under, I would want the Establishment of the Wizard’s crew to get a title shot.
Ross: Or, wCw, depending on the outcome of their match later tonight.
Razz: You have a point there, and there are a couple of matches I would love to see, wCw against either of these teams would be some classic matches, Murder and Mikey already hold a win over then, so if wCw walks out of here with the titles tonight, you gotta think that strengthens their claims for a title shot.
Ross: I don’t think GM the Rick can make the wrong decision here, we have a lot of new teams in the tag division, but they are all quality teams. I am looking forward to seeing some fresh match ups sometime soon.
Razz: Ross that brings us to our next match, I am not certain, but have these three men ever been in the ring against one another?
Ross: Outside of a battle royal or something of the sort, I cannot say I recall. Vander has been primarily a singles wrestler, the only time I can recall, I believe Ax as part of 3Piece Set had some matches early in their run against Hellion and Corax, but to my knowledge, they have never faced each other as singles competitors.

AX-MAN vs. CORAX vs. MARK VANDER

Corax has a discussion with his invisible pal so Ax and MV jump him to begin things and dump him to the outside. Ax immediately attacks MV and chokes him in the ropes. Ax holds MV up for a delay suplex, and Corax spring boards in with a drop kick to Ax’s face. Corax drops a pair of knees to MV’s head before nailing him with a DDT. Ax breaks that up, but catches a jaw breaker and a twisting arm bar that throws him towards the ropes. MV charges and Corax elevates him into a drop kick that sends Ax out of the ring. Corax hits a quick senton/moonsault combo for 2. Ax pulls Corax out of the ring and throws him head first into the ring post. MV recovers and hits a beautiful sling shot hurricurana on Ax. MV snap suplexes Ax on the entrance ramp then kicks Corax a few times before tossing him back in. Corax stumbles around, but manages to avoid MV’s spring board lariat and drops him with a jumping knee. Corax grabs MV and whips him hard into the corner and gives him a climbing knee strike to the jaw before pulling him down hard to the mat. Split legged moonsault gets a 2 as Ax kicks him in the face. Ax hot shots Corax into the ropes and snaps off a beautiful spine buster. He stops a charging MV with a boot to the gut and sets him up for a power bomb but MV pulls himself onto his shoulders and hammers away at his head. Ax falls, but MV gets hung up on the ropes. Corax back suplexes MV onto Ax then rolls MV off to pin Ax for two. Corax goes after MV who manages to reverse Corax with a monkey flip. Corax lands on his feet, but Ax destroys him with a super kick. MV attempts the Head’s Up~!!! But AX runs him into the corner and once MV’s grip slackens, drops MV with a jaw breaker. Up top and Ax drives him elbow into MV’s sternum. Corax breaks up the pin fall and after a few reversals. Drop toe holds Ax into the corner. MV climbs to his feet and Corax murders him with a Shining Wizard. He goes for the cover but then starts yelling that he didn’t need his friends help after all. Ax dumps him to the outside and hooks both legs and the tights on the still downed MV for the win.
WINNER in 12:49 Ax-Man

Ross: What on earth was that? Did Corax have a melt down or what?
Razz: I am not sure what to say about that, Corax had the match won, then he starts arguing with himself! What a lapse in concentration!
Ross: It seems like Corax has been having issues as of late, the rumblings I hear from the boys in the back is that Corax thinks Hellion is talking to him!
Razz: I would say that is bizarre, but this is pro wrestling, nothing surprises me anymore Ross, nothing
Ross: Next up we have a match that stems from last week’s Midweek Mayhem. On that show, Drink and Destroy defeated Harper Camby and Donovan Viper, that did not sit real well with The Devil’s Brigade, and they demanded a rematch tonight.
Razz: This should be a hard hitting match between two big time teams. It will not be pretty I can guarantee you that
Ross: I don’t think you will see a whole lot of Greco-Roman wrestling holds in this one, but I do think you will see two teams that love to brawl and inflict punishment
Razz: I would not want to be the referee that tries to keep order in this one, Ross I am calling this one now, there is no way we get a clean finish in this one
Ross: You may be right there Razz, this is gonna be a SLOBBERKNOCKER!

DRINK & DESTROY vs. THE DEVIL’S BRIGADE

Intense stare down between both teams in the middle of the ring as the bell sounds. Words are exchanged and the brawl is ON! Capslock and O’Neil pair off and go at it while Stank and Camby have it out. Capslock takes O’Neil over the top to the floor, and Stank pounds Camby down in the corner. FFC follows Tommy out to the floor and they slug it out. Camby reverses an Irish whip to the corner, but a blind charge finds nothing but the bottom of Stank’s size 17 boot. Stank clotheslines Camby down from behind, while on the floor, O’Neil reverses a whip and sends Capslock into the stairs. Stank tries for the STANK-U, but O’Neil comes in from behind and breaks that up. Camby tries for a power bomb on Stank, but can’t lift the big man. And before O’Neil can assist in the matter, Capslock comes in and clotheslines BOTH guys down. Camby falls out to the floor, and Capslock hits O’Neil with a choke slam. Stank rolls out to the floor, but Camby rolls back in with a chair. Camby winds up to hit Capslock, but Stank trips him up from the floor, and Camby falls to the mat and hits his face off the chair. Before the official can grab the chair and get it out of the ring, Capslock snatches it up, and having lost all control of the match – if he EVER had control of it – the referee calls for the bell. WINNER - NO CONTEST at 4:14

With nothing to lose, Capslock PLASTERS O’Neil with the chair. D&D pose to the crowd, but suddenly, like a pack of wolves, Donovan Viper and Corax hit the ring and jump Capslock and Stank from behind. Viper hits Capslock with the SIDEWINDER~! And Corax blasts Stank with the chair. Camby, with an assist from Corax, power bombs FFC on the chair. And, then, to add insult to injury, Viper and Camby hold Stank up, and O’Neil caps off the assault with a LEFT HOOK~! All four members of The Devil’s Brigade look at the carnage, pose to the crowd, and leave Drink and Destroy motionless in the ring.

Ross: Well you called that one, that was out of control from the minute they announced the teams until the final bell. I think it is safe to say, issues between these two teams are far from over.
Razz: Hell no they aren’t Ross, you don’t leave Drink and Destroy lying in the middle of the ring and just walk away. Capslock and Stank do not give up, they will go through hell to inflict revenge, just ask 3Piece Set about that, that was one hell of a feud
Ross: And from what I am seeing from this one so far, it has the potential to get much more violent and much more personal
Razz: I just hope we don’t run into any states that have a ban on barbed wire, if you catch my drift!
Ross: clearly. Next up we have another tag match, featuring two relatively new teams. Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster are newcomers to the tag ranks, but their styles, and lack of courage, certainly seem to mesh
Razz: Well you got two guys that are certainly capable of great things in the ring, but they prefer to spend their time finding the short cuts and cutting promos to get under their opponents skin. I know you don’t like Johnny, so I would imagine you have nothing good to say about this team.
Ross: On the contrary, as much as I think Adrenaline is cheating himself and not living up to his potential, I think this team, if they ever get serious could be a potentially dangerous team. They are both sneaky as a snake in a henhouse. I am a little more interested in the other team, you have two throwbacks, Underdawg from the Ministry and Blackdragon from the AYUFF, their styles should mesh perfectly, Blackdragon is a tag team specialist and provides the technical ability in the ring, and UnderDawg supplies the raw power. This should be a great match.

JOHNNY ADRENALINE & ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. UNDERDAWG & BLACKDRAGON

Big brawl to start this one off and BD and UD dominate at the beginning. JA rolls out of the ring after a massive clothesline by UD and BD send AA over the top rope with a release belly-to belly suplex right on top of JA. The chicken shit heels regroup on the outside, but BD and UD brawl with them on the outside and toss AA back in the ring so that he and UD can start the match off properly. UD hurls JA into the corner and unloads enough dog bones for a party of six. Tag to BD and UD whips JA into the ropes. Big Boot drops JA and BD hits a sling shot corkscrew splash for two. BD pulls JA up and gives him three brutal knife edge chops before whipping him to the ropes and hitting a huge belly to belly suplex. JA scoots to the corner and tags AA in. AA runs into an arm drag and a drop kick. Arm wringer and BD tags UD back in for a kick to the gut and some clubbing blows to the back. AA begs off and UD grabs him by the head. AA jaw jacks him then attempts two lariats that barely budge the big man. On the third attempt he gets goozled and JA comes in with a chop block. AA hits drop kick to the face and UD topples down. They double team him for a moment and BD attacks JA with chops and a head butt. He goes after AA, but the ref forces him out, allowing AA to stomp on UD’s nuts. Quick tags isolate the big Dawg. AA and JA stomp and pound away and even manage to tandem suplex. UD finally fires back with a dual clothesline and some stiff rights and lefts for each of them, but JA scissors the leg and AA knocks BD off the apron. They continue the assault on UD culminating with a tandem power bomb for 2 as BD breaks it up and this time will not be restrained until he drills JA with a brain buster. Both men down but UD manages to make it to his corner first and BD is in legally with a running STO to JA and a back body drop for AA. JA eats a super kick, but AA drops BD with a reverse DDT and slaps on the Claw as the ref tries to gain control. UD back in the ring and kicks AA in the head. All four men brawl and BD gets taken to the outside by an impressive JA hip toss over the top. UD brawls with JA, who scurries away and grabs the ref. AA grabs a chair, swings and misses UD, so UD boots the chair back into his face. JA runs right into a thunderous choke slam and BD climbs up top and yells something to UD. UD smiles and hoists JA on his shoulders. BD leaps into the air and catches JA with a hurricurana from UD’s shoulders. UD stairs a dazed AA down as BD hooks the legs and he and UD get the victory.
WINNERS in 23:15 Blackdragon & UnderDawg

Ross: Nice win for Dragon and UnderDawg, they continue to jell as a team. If they keep this up, as I said, they will be serious contenders to the tag titles
Razz: I think Johnny and AA are just happy to go one night and not be attacked by that strange guy in the hood.
Ross: That is certainly a bizarre situation, who do you think it is Razz?
Razz: Well I have my theories, I think it is a spirit from the Canadian Indian tribes, remember over the summer when they beat up the guy for the ether? It is Indian Karma coming back on them
Ross: Um, ok, you don’t think it might be, you know, a wrestler, someone they have angered over the last year or so
Razz: I suppose that is possible, but my money is on the Indian. Folks, if you are a bit on the squeamish side you might want to look away during this next match
Ross: put the kids to bed, and make sure you have your dinner down well, this match is not going to be pretty. I have not seen the kind of hate that exists between these two in a long long time. I have to think, after what Firechild and the rest of 3Piece Set did to Seraph at Hell on Earth, that Seraph is going to keep this as a straight up wrestling match
Razz: I can honestly say I have no idea what is going on with Seraph, the man doesn’t speak a whole lot, and when he does it is always cryptic. I have to think he is hell bent on hurting Firechild as badly as possible
Ross: Well, wouldn’t you want revenge on someone if they did that to you?
Razz: Ross, if someone did that to me I would be in prison right now, because there is no way they would still be walking the streets
Ross: What I fear, is that Seraph is thinking along those same lines

FIRECHILD vs. SERAPH

Seraph wastes no time attacking FC. Seraph immediately takes the fight to the outside with a clothesline. In order, he introduces FC to two ring posts and the ring side barrier before hitting a brain buster on the outside. He rolls FC back in and somehow FC rolls the shoulder at 2. Seraph gouges both eyes and head butts him twice for another 2 count. FC rakes the eyes and tries to mount and offensive, but Seraph short circuits that with another vile head butt, a jaw breaker and an attempt at the Sharpshooter. FC gets to the ropes quickly and the ref breaks it up. Seraph glares at the ref with murderous intent and FC sneaks in a roll up for 2. Seraph is quickly back up and levels FC with a lariat. Whip to the corner reversed and Seraph hits the turnbuckles hard. FC takes a moment too long to catch his breath and charges right into a boot to the face and a neck breaker. Grabbing FC’s legs he yanks him groin fist into the ring post then ties him up in the ring post figure four. FC is howling in pain as the ref is being lenient with his count. Just then Ax and Cole come out. Ax blasts Seraph with a brass knuckle shot to the temple and Cole undoes his legs. Seraph falls into an undignified heap on the floor as the two members of 3PS stomp away at him and roll him into the ring. FC limps over and nails Seraph with the Wings of the Phoenix~!!! The three members of 3PS pose as the crowd boos loudly. They look back to find Seraph trying to push himself back to his feet. Cole pulls him to his feet and Ax gives him another brass knuckle shot. As they prepare to leave, Ax notices that despite the pool of blood accumulating around his head, Seraph is trying to get up again. Cole pulls Seraph back to his feet and he and FC give him an inhuman spiked Head Liner~!!! Seraph does not move after that.
WINNER – No Contest in 4:04

Medical officials flood to the ring and tend to Seraph, once again they quickly call for a stretcher

Ross: THAT COWARD FIRECHILD! He had no intention of wrestling this match! They are trying to murder Seraph! GM the Rick has GOT to step in and do something about this!
Razz: Man, those three just have it bad for Seraph, normally I would not agree with you, but this time I think they might have crossed the line, GM the Rick needs to do something about this
Ross: This is the second time this has happened! There is just no excuse for this kind of barbarity!
Razz: All I know is this, somehow Seraph came back after that last beating, and I think that really rattled Firechild, there is something Seraph knows that Firechild is desperate to keep out of the public eye, it HAS to be something like that, I have not seen someone go to such lengths to injure someone.
Ross: Up next, a match that promises to be another bloodbath. For reasons known only to him, Moose has decided to single out Chris Alt for destruction; he gets his chance in a barbed wire Hell in the Cell match. I have to wonder though, why Chris Alt, and does he have a chance to beat Jack?
Razz: Well Ross, Chris Alt is everything that Moosehead Jack is not. Alt is a young wrestler who most people think has a world of potential in front of him. Jack is one of those guys who could certainly win the title on any given night, but no one really expects him to ever do that. Alt is very fluid and smooth in the ring, Jack is a destructive force that has to be survived as much as defeated
Ross: So do you think that Alt can win? A lot of people are beginning to question his ability to win the big one, will he be able to do it tonight, or has Jack gotten into his head?
Razz: well, if Jack has really gotten into Alt’s head, this match is over, and Alt may well get hurt – badly. But if he is smart about it, if he doesn’t try to beat Jack at his own game…face it, there are not many people in the OOWF who can out-violent Moosehead Jack, Chris Alt certainly is not one of them, Alt is a more gifted wrestler, but he has to wrestle his match. If he wrestles Jack’s match, he doesn’t have a chance

MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. CHRIS ALT – Barbed Wire Hell in the Cell

Moose brings a baseball bat to the ring with him, so Alt grabs a steel chair from ringside before entering the cage. They yell at each other as the bell sounds, and Moose tosses the bat down and dares Alt to hit him. Alt takes the chair back... and drops it, opting to simply slap MHJ instead. That pisses Moose off and he goes after Alt in the corner. Moose gets some shots in, but Alt reverses it and slugs away himself. Alt beats Moose down to the mat, then a stomps away in the corner. Moose gets a low blow in to stop the offense, then runs Alt into the cage. He tries again, but Alt springboards off the ropes and flips over Moose's head and dropkicks MHJ into the cage. Alt rolls him up on the rebound and gets a quick two count. Moose takes Alt's head off with a clothesline as they get up, and now Moose goes to work on Alt. Short arm shoulder blocks, then a trip to the steel. Moose chokes out Alt with the top rope, then sends him to the ropes, but Alt flies back with a spinning heel kick. Alt follows up with a neck breaker, then hits a leg drop from the second rope. Alt looks for Spinal Contusion, but Moose stops that with a shot to the gut with the bat. The MHJ winds up and BLASTS Alt in the stomach with a Pujols-like swing. Alt crawls to the corner to buy some time, but Moose drags him back to the center of the ring and drops an elbow on the ribs. MHJ with a scoop slam, then he sets the chair on the chest of Alt. Moose takes the bat and smashes the chair into Alt's ribs, the wood on metal echoing thru the arena. One, two... and Alt kicks out at two and a half. Moose grins as he gets back to his feet.

MHJ sends Alt to the cage face first, then again. A third time and Chris Alt is bleeding. Moose just tosses Alt to the mat and wedges the chair between the top and second ropes in one corner. Moose goes to pull Alt up, but Alt grabs him and sends him headfirst to the middle turnbuckle. Alt grabs the bat and chokes Moose to the mat with it. With Moose lying next to the ropes, and the bat still beneath his throat, Alt sets the barrel of the bat on the bottom rope and jumps on it, sending the handle into Moose's throat even further. Alt whips Moose headfirst into the chair in the corner, then grabs the chair himself. Alt opens the chair, puts Moose's head in it, and climbs to the top rope. Alt jumps to stomp on the chair, but Moose grabs the bat and whacks Alt in the stomach on the way down. MHJ rolls out of the way and wiggles free of the chair. Cover, one, two, and Alt kicks out. Moose sits the chair in the middle of the ring and drops Alt sternum-first on the back of it. Moose sends Alt to the cage again, then pulls out some sort of wire-cutters, maneuvers his way up the cage, and cuts a long piece of barbed wire from the cage. Moose slams Alt on the barbed wire, then pulls it out from under Alt as he lays on the mat! Alt is now bleeding everywhere, and Moose is smiling as he wraps the barbed wire around the baseball bat. Moose slowly stalks Alt, and as he gets to his feet, Moose lines up for a shot with the bat... but Alt CREAMS MHJ in the face with the steel chair. The bat goes flying across the ring and Alt makes the cover. One... two... and Moose kicks out.

Alt grabs the bat, whips the crowd into frenzy, then takes several shots at Moose's back. The barbed wire is falling off the bat, and Alt sets the bat on the turnbuckle. Moose gets to his feet, and Alt hotshots him face-first onto the barbed wire bat! Now Moose is bleeding everywhere. Alt grabs the chair again and sends Moose to the ropes. Alt tosses the chair at Moose, who catches it, but Alt hits a ghetto blaster, knocking Moose's face into the chair as he falls to the mat. One... two... and Moose kicks out. Alt sets the chair on the mat, sends Moose to the corner, and ALT-OMIC BOMB ON THE CHAIR~! Alt crawls over for the cover. One... two...thr... and Moose kicks out again. Alt grabs the chair and goes up top. Holding the chair to his chest, Alt tries a moonsault, but Moose rolls out of the way, and Alt takes the full brunt of the chair to his chest. MHJ covers, one, two, and Alt kicks out. Moose gets up and finds the bat, but when he picks it up, the barbed wire completely falls off of it. Undeterred, Moose uses the wire cutters to clip some more off, but Alt rolls him up from behind and gets a two count. Alt grabs the bat and lines up Moose. MHJ gets to his knees and dares Alt to hit him. Alt looks around and chucks the bat over the top of the cage to the floor. MHJ is confused, and Alt goes to grab the chair. When Moose sees Alt ready to toss the chair over, as well, MHJ charges at him, but Alt decks him with the chair again. Alt tosses the chair over and out, then covers. One... two... and Moose is out yet again.

Alt screams at Moose to get to his feet, and MHJ slowly recovers. Alt gets on his hands and knees and assumes the referee's position and dares Moose to "wrestle" him. Moose pauses for a moment, and Alt yells at him again, so MHJ goes to kick Alt in the ribs again. But Alt sees it coming and catches his foot and takes him down. Alt locks on a sharpshooter and Moose is in trouble. He scrambles for the ropes, but Alt won't let him get there. MHJ tries to power out, but Alt just cinches it in some more. Moose finally is able to grab the bottom rope near the corner and climbs the ropes with his hands to break some of the leverage, then the hold altogether. MHJ unties the turnbuckle pad, and Alt charges, but Moose moves, and Alt hits the exposed turnbuckle chest-first. Moose looks for a pile driver, but Alt sweeps the legs out and tries the sharpshooter again. MHJ fights it, so Alt simply catapults Moose into the exposed turnbuckle. One, two, and Moose kicks out again. Alt sets Moose on the top turnbuckle and tries a superplex, but Moose blocks. So Alt knees him in the jaw, climbs up the cage and tries a hurricanrana, but Moose simply power bombs Alt off the middle rope. MHJ covers, one, two, and Alt kicks out. Pile driver by Moose, but rather than cover, he pulls Alt to his feet and slaps him, then again. Moose slaps again, but Alt grabs his hand, so Moose drops him with the HEART PUNCH~! One, two, but Alt kicks out again, and Moose goes ballistic! Moose argues with the official, then pulls Alt up for a DDT. Alt counters by shoving Moose back first into the exposed turnbuckle and getting an inside cradle. One, two, and Moose kicks out. Both guys are down, and Moose spots the barbed wire that had fallen off the bat. MHJ crawls over to it and wraps it around his hand. Alt gets to his feet and Moose looks for a barbed wire-assisted Heart Punch, but Alt sidesteps it and SPINAL CONTUSION~! Alt falls on top for the cover. One, two, and Chris Alt pins Moosehead Jack. WINNER in 38:56: Chris Alt

Ross: MAH GAWD, HE DID IT, HE DID IT! Razz, I give you credit, you called that one perfectly!
Razz: Well, Alt did what he had to do, he forced Jack to wrestle his kind of match, and as good as Jack is, he cannot beat Alt in a wrestling match. It will be interesting to see what this does for Alt’s confidence
Ross: It will be nice to see, I think Alt is a serious contender to any title in the OOWF, but I agree, he was having a bit of a crisis of confidence, now it is very important that he takes the next step, this was a gigantic win, but you have to take that next step or you sink right back to where he was. But what about Jack?
Razz: Jack will be fine, like I said, Jack is the kind of guy who doesn’t have a whole lot of pressure on him, I have talked to him several times, and it is rarely about wins or losses to him, it is about setting a person up for later on. Jack is good at mind games, I am sure he has something in mind for Alt, and another victim in mind already
Ross: Well said, next, we have a unique match, the finals of the Ring of Honor Elimination that started two weeks ago, these six men have survived a three way dance and a singles match and now face each other in the finals in an elimination match. Who do you think is the favorite in this one?
Razz: Well what you have here is basically a bunch of smaller, speedier guys against the powerhouse Beast. I am not sure how they will counter Beast’s obvious power advantage, so I am going to say Beast picks up the win here.
Ross: Well, I think Beast is going to have a hard time countering the speed of these guys, and while he may be young, Capellan has certainly come on strong over the last few months. I think like Chris Alt, Capellan is the future of the OOWF, and I think he gets the money in the bank title shot after this one

<We cut to the back where a battered and bloody Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster make their way to their dressing room, as they enter the room, they see it has been utterly destroyed. Their clothing lies shredded on the floor, all of Johnny’s golf clubs are broken, Ric Flair lies unconscious in the middle of the room, mirrors, lockers, cell phones, everything is destroyed. On the wall, written in what appears to be Ric Flair’s blood is a message:

YOU FAILED TO DELIVER HIM, NOW YOU BOTH SUFFER!

JA: What. The. Hell?
AA: Screw this, we are going to chat with the Rick, I am sick of this psycho threatening us.

[mooseheadjack]

MERCURY(w/the Evil Wizard) vs. ERIC O’MAC vs. CHRIS COLE vs. CAPELLAN vs. BEAST vs. SOULDRAGON– ROH Elimination – Round 3, winner gets a world title match, when they choose (Money in the Bank)

This is an elimination style match, four of the men are in separate corners, and there are two men in the ring. There can only be one man per corner at any given time. The last man standing wins, you can tag anyone into the ring at any time. The last man standing gets a Money-in-the-bank title shot, a guaranteed world title shot to use any time they want.

After a brief conference on both sides, Capellan and Cole start things out. They circle each other, collar and elbow lock up, Cole grabs a side head lock, Capellan shoves him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a back body drop. Cole gets to his feet, and Capellan takes him down with a head scissors. Cole is up again, and charges Cap, but Cap side steps and sends Cole to the ropes; Cap catches him with a belly to belly suplex and makes the cover but only gets a two count. Cole gets to his feet and stumbles to the corner and tags in Mercury. Mercury comes in and ducks another clothesline attempt by Capellan and hits a hangman’s neck breaker. Mercury hits the ropes for a springboard moonsault, but Capellan moves out of the way, Merc lands on his feet, Capellan is up to his feet, Merc charges, but Capellan takes him over with a hurracarana, then makes the tag to SoulDragon. SD hits the ring and levels Mercury with a clothesline; it certainly appears that SD has not forgotten that Mercury turned on him last month. Dragon whips Mercury to the ropes and follows him with a clothesline that takes then both over the top rope to the floor. They brawl around ringside, SoulDragon is the aggressor, slamming Mercury’s head into the guard rail and the announce table. The referee is making the count, SD rolls under the rope to break the count, then heads back to the outside. On the outside, Mercury charges at SD using the steps to leap toward his enemy, in a brilliant move, SD catches him in mid-air and reverses it to a spine buster on the concrete floor. Not content with that, SD throws Mercury onto the Tuvaluian Announce table. SD climbs up there with him and PLANTS Mercury through the table with an OMEN DRIVER! Mercury is DEAD! SD climbs out of the wreckage and is about to beat the count back into the ring, when The Evil Wizard blasts him in the back of the head with his scepter. SD staggers a few steps, and Chris Cole leaps off the apron and finishes him off with a DDT on the floor. The ref must have missed Cole’s interference, because he counts both Mercury and SoulDragon out

Mercury and SoulDragon have been eliminated.

So now we are down to four men, Beast climbs over the ropes and dares someone to get into the ring with him, Eric O’Mac comes into the ring and they go nose to nose, well more accurately nose to chest. Beast grabs Eric by the face and shoves him to the mat and laughs. Beast certainly has the size and strength advantage in this match. Cole runs into the ring and tries to take out Beast, but he eats a boot to the face, Capellan comes off the top rope and tries a cross body block, but Beast catches him and turns it into a power slam. Capellan slides under the bottom rope to the floor, Eric tags in Cole and slips out of the ring as well. Cole and Beast circle, collar and elbow lock up; Beast pushes Cole back into the corner and HAMMERS him with some devastating chops. Cole slumps to the mat, and Beast puts the boots to him. Beast turns around to taunt the others, and when he does, Capellan and Eric come off of separate corners with dual missile drop kicks! Beast hits the mat and Cole comes up out of the corner and covers, but Beast is able to power out at two. Cole pulls Beast to his feet and tries a suplex, but Beast reverses it to one of his own. Beast gets to his feet and waits for Cole to get to his, calling for a choke slam, but Capellan reaches out and tags himself in. Beast looks pissed. He refuses to leave the ring; Capellan argues with him, Beast slaps Capellan, effectively tagging himself back into the match. Beast grabs Capellan by the throat, but Cap grabs Beast’s head and falls off the apron, slingshotting Beast on the top rope, Beast falls into the center of the ring, as soon as he hits the canvas, Eric O’Mac soars through the air and hits a five star frog splash on Beast, then scurries out of the ring. Cole scoops Beast up and hits the Headliner, and the ref counts three.

Beast is eliminated.

Cole celebrates in the ring, and as he turns around Eric O’Mac leaps from the top rope and hits Cole with a high cross body. Cole rolls through the move and flips EOM over and tries for an Indian Death lock but EOM fights it and makes it to the ropes. While EOM is getting to his feet, Cole tags Capellan and leaves the ring to get a breather. He is no sooner on the floor when EOM, apparently unaware that Capellan was tagged in, soars over the top rope and takes Cole down to the floor. As soon as EOM gets to his feet, Capellan hits a springboard shooting star press that catches EOM on the ramp, slamming him hard onto the steel. Capellan is a little slow to get up, but he is first to his feet. He is met by Chris Cole, who grabs him by the head and slams him face first into the steel ring post opening a nasty gash on Capellan’s head. He then grabs EOM and DDT’s him on the steel ramp. Cole gets into the ring and waits in his corner on the apron perfectly content to let both EOM and Capellan get counted out. On the outside, the ref is at five and both men are just starting to stir. At eight both men are to their feet, Capellan then rolls into the ring, EOM seems a bit dazed, the ref hits nine, and suddenly it seems clear to EOM what is going on, he sprints to the apron and slides under the bottom rope just as the ref says ten, narrowly avoiding the count out. EOM and Capellan exchange moves for a bit, neither one being able to maintain much of an advantage. They don’t tag in Cole and he seems very content to wait it out on the apron Capellan has EOM on the top rope trying for a superplex, they are in Cole’s corner, EOM fights the move off, and nails Capellan with a series of punches, Capellan is staggering, EOM grabs his head and slams him with a series of head buts, just before he falls to the mat, Cole reaches out and makes a tag, the ref catches it, EOM does not. Capellan falls from the top rope, EOM flies off and hits a five star frog splash and hooks the leg, Capellan is out, but the referee is not counting. EOM gets to his feet, and the ref explains that Cole is the legal man, EOM turns around and ole kicks him low, then hits him with the Main Event (a fisherman suplex/brainbuster) EOM has no chance to kick out and the ref counts three.

Eric O’Mac is eliminated.

Capellan is still struggling to his feet, trying to regain his breath after that frog splash. Cole knows he is in control and measures Capellan for a kick to the face.

Cole rears back for the kick, but Capellan moves out of the way, grabs Cole’s foot and takes him to the mat and locks on and ankle lock! Cole screams in pain, he is nowhere near the ropes, in a desperate move; Cole rolls through the move and sends Capellan face first into the corner turnbuckle. Capellan falls to the mat, looking a bit dazed. Cole crawls across the ring and drapes his arm across Capellan’s chest, but Cap kicks out at two. Cole pulls Capellan to his feet and tries to set him up for the Headliner, but Capellan shifts his weight and hits one of his own! Capellan covers Cole, 1…2..Cole rolls his shoulder at the last second! Capellan pulls Cole to his feet and tries to whip him to the ropes, but Cole reverses the whip and catches Capellan in a sleeper. Capellan fights it, but now he is too far from the ropes, Capellan falls to one knee, this looks bad. The ref checks the arm, it drops once, it drops twice, it drops a thi…no! Capellan stops the arm from falling for the third time and begins to fight back to his feet! The crowd erupts behind Capellan, he gets to his feet and falls back into the corner, the back of his head slams into Cole’s face and they both fall to the mat. The referee starts another ten count, both men are using the ropes to pull themselves to their feet. Capellan is up first; he turns to Cole and gets caught in the Stroke! Cole covers, but once again Capellan kicks out at two. Both men are exhausted, Cole argues with the referee that it was a three count, the whole time he is doing this he has his hand down on Capellan’s throat. The ref spends a few seconds arguing with Cole before he notices that he is blatantly choking him, and begins the five count on that. Cole pulls Capellan up and whips him to the ropes, but Cole lowers his head a fraction of a second too soon and Capellan gets a sunset flip for a two count, Cole rolls through the move and rolls Capellan up for another two count. Cap kicks out of that, sweeps Cole’s legs and rolls him over in a Boston crab! Capellan screams in agony as Cap wrenches back farther adding more pressure to his back. Cole crawls to the ropes and finally forces the break. Capellan seizes his opportunity and makes his way to the top rope. He waits on the top, perched, as Cole gets to his feet he leaps aiming a missile dropkick right at Cole’s face, at the last possible second Cole sidesteps the move and Capellan slams to the mat. Cole seizes the opportunity, grabs Capellan in a mahistrol cradle, rolls him up, grabs a handful of tights and gets a three count.
WINNER in 44:51 – Chris Cole

Cole celebrates in the ring, joined by Ax and Firechild. Capellan slides out of the ring before the inevitable beat down can happen. He backs up the ramp glaring at Chris Cole, as he does, Donovan Viper runs from the back and MURDERS him with a chain Death Elbow. He stands over a barely conscious Capellan and laughs. He grabs Cap’s head and pulls it back and slaps him across the face a few times “You are outta your league kid, I am gonna hurt you, bad” Viper slams Capellan’s face into the steel and heads through the crowd as wCw comes to make the save.

Ross: CHRIS COLE! Chris Cole gets a world title shot anytime he wants it! This guy has come out of nowhere and become a force to be reckoned with!
Razz: Well, if you ask him, it is not a surprise, he has been telling us all along how good he is, he won tonight, and he was a finalist in the Imperial Onslaught, I tell ya, this guy is for real, when ever he decides to use this shot, whomever is the champion better not take him lightly.
Ross: Well, I suspect that if they do, they will be a former champion by the end of the night. Folks next we have a special interview with OOWF newcomer Austraroo, a sensation from Australia
Razz: I have heard a lot of good things about this kid, he is supposed to be an excellent mat wrestler, and he can fly if need be as well, let’s hear what he has to say.

<The lights dim and Scheme Gene comes to the ring, mic in hand, GENE GETS MIC TIME!

SG: Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to take a minute to introduce you to the OOWF’s newest star, all the way from Australia, they tell me this kid is gonna be something special, ladies and gentlemen Austraroo!

<Falling Apart by Trust Company plays, and Austraroo comes to the ring, the crowd erupts cheering for the new Wonder From Down Under!>

SG: Austraroo, you have been in the OOWF for a very short time, what are your plans for the future?
Aust: Well Gene, it is an honor to be here in the OOWF, there is a lot of great competitors here. I am looking forward to……

<just then All My Life by the Foo Fighters hits and a sweaty Eric O’Mac makes his way to the ring, grabs the mic from Gene, shoves him to the mat, pauses for a second and looks Austraroo up and down>

EOM: Kid, did you just see the match? Did you just see me, Eric O’Mac get screwed out of a title shot? A crime has just been committed, so what the HELL makes you think that anyone gives a damn about what you have to say?
Aust: Hey, that was a hell of a match, before you interrupted, I was going to say that you were one of the guys I hoped to face on my way to winning OOWF gold
<EOM looks away for a moment, rubs his chin contemplatively then looks back at Aust>
EOM: Did I just hear you right? Did you just say you wanted to face me on your way to winning OOWF gold? So, what am I some kind of stepping stone for you?
Aust: Hey, that’s not how I meant it, you are a great competitor, I was just…
<EOM slaps the taste out of Austraroo’s mouth>
EOM: SHUT UP kid. No one gives a damn what you were just gonna do. The fact of the matter is this, it is about damn time I got some respect around here. It is about damn time management focused on ME instead of young punks like you and Capellan. I got screwed tonight, and since it sure as hell seems like no one in the back is gonna do a damn thing about it, it looks like I will have to take matters into my own hands

<with that, EOM turns and ANNIHILATES Austraroo with a clothesline. Eric pulls Aust up to his feet, sends him to the ropes and hits a leg lariat, then slides out of the ring and grabs a chair. As Aust. Gets to his feet, Eric leaps off the top rope and crushes Austraroos skill with the chair. Eric pulls the rookie to his feet, kicks him low and pile drives him on the chair. EOM is about to leave the ring when he pauses, goes back to Aust, slams the chair across his ribs, slides it under his back, then springs to the top rope and hits a five star frog splash. Aust writhes in pain and spits up blood. EOM looks pleased with himself, and heads to the back to a chorus of boos. Medical officials hit the ring to check on Austraroo.>

Ross: Now why the hell would Eric do that? What on earth has Austraroo ever done to him! That was a completely classless move by Eric O’Mac
Razz: Well, it appears that Eric feels he was slighted in the six man match, and he was disrespected by Austraroo, I am not sure I agree, but there is no question he is steamed about something
Ross: I hope GM the Rick takes action on this and gives us a match between these two as soon as Austraroo is healthy, I certainly hope his injuries were not severe, that was a pretty wicked frog splash he took
Razz: If we hear anything we will let you know, but next up we have Thim Reynolds defending the Onslaught Championship against Uncle Entity and Canadian Dragon
Ross: This should be an outstanding match, these three men are familiar with each other, and even though it seems Canadian Dragon is having a bit of an identity crisis at the moment, he is still a very dangerous man.
Razz: That he is, but, even though Thim is not 100%, he is very very dangerous, Dragon has had neck and shoulder problems, and Entity has got to be nursing some injuries after that war with Dragon last week. Thim will exploit those weaknesses to his advantage. I would not want to be in either of their boots if either shows any kind of injury, Thim is like a bulldog, he will latch onto something and destroy it, I think Thim retains the title tonight

UNCLE ENTITY(w/Jesse Garron) vs. CANADIAN DRAGON vs. THIM REYNOLDS – Onslaught Championship Match

The three competitor s circle one another and CD strikes first with a kick to TR’s ribs and two knife edge chops to UE’s chest. TR boots CD in the gut and then whips him to the ropes. TR drops down and UE nails CD with a drop kick. TR clubs UE from behind and slams him to the mat with a quick sidewalk slam. CD prevents TR from following up with a quick drop kick to the back. TR stumbles into the corner and CD kicks and chops away. UE attacks from behind, but CD counters his attempted whip with a drop toe hold. TR grabs CD’s leg, but CD pushes up and hits an enziguri. UE hooks him from behind and nails CD with a back suplex for 2. TR splashes both of them to break up the count and beals UE into the turnbuckles. He then wrings CD’s arm and elbows it a few times before arm dragging him into a cross arm breaker. UE staggers over and breaks that up with a leg drop to the throat. He pulls TR up and staggers him with some stiff jabs before taking him down with a discus lariat. CD rolls UE up for two and UE immediately retaliates with a knee to the gut and a shoulder breaker. He turns into TR who unloads with a series of forearms and an Irish whip/shoulder tackle. He goes to run the ropes and CD nails him with a super kick to the side of the head. UE yanks CD down by the arm and then bends it around the ropes a couple of times before applying an arm bar. CD fights back with chops and punches before nailing him in the face with a front kick. TR pins UE for 2, then nails CD with a double arm DDT for another two. TR charges UE but UE snaps off a quick power slam. CD breaks this up with a diving elbow to TR’s ribs and he immediately rolls away from the action while UE and CD punch it out. CD manages to counter UE with a head scissors then ducks a TR clotheslines and unloads with a series of stiff kicks to the ribs that drops TR to one knee. CD puts him down with a hammer lock/rocker dropper combo for 2. UE tosses CD shoulder first into the ring post. UE and TR exchange heavy blows until TR ducks a haymaker and drops UE with a spinning neck breaker, holds on and locks in a front chancery choke. CD nails TR with three sharp kicks to the back, and then hooks UE with a Dragon Sleeper with his good arm. TR puts him in a sleeper hold and UE breaks it up with a double jaw breaker. All three men are down, but UE is up first and kills CD with a half nelson Urinage and tosses him rudely to the outside. UE hits TR with an impressive Pump Handle rib breaker for 2 and the big men slug it out while CD regains his composure. CD drops them both with a missile drop kick. CD nails TR with a spinning DDT but walks right into a single arm DDT from UE. UE slaps TR a few times and pulls him up. TR fights back and hits a running power bomb into the turnbuckles. CD manages to dropkick TR from behind and through the ropes. Up top and CD catches a dazed UE with a top rope hurricurana. He hooks the leg and keeps him down just as TR dives in the ring to become the new Onslaught Champion.
WINNER in 33:29 and NEW OOWF Onslaught Champion – Canadian Dragon

Ross: Well I’ll be DAMNED! Canadian Dragon has done it! He is the new Onslaught Champion!
Razz: And that has got to be some kind of poetic justice for him!
Ross: What do you mean?
Razz: He won the title without pinning the champion
Ross: So?
Razz: So when Canadian Dragon lost the heavyweight title to Donovan Viper, he lost it without ever being pinned, see what I am saying?
Ross: Yes, I guess that is kind of ironic, or something. Congratulations to Canadian Dragon. Our first title match produces a title change, do you think there will be more of the same in out next match?
Razz: Well, Ross, wCw has been a team that had been flying under the radar for a long time, this is a damn good team, I think they got the Aussie’s attention now
Ross: I think that is a fair estimation, I am not sure the Aussies took them completely seriously to start, but they certainly are now. This should be a fantastic match, and what a contrast this match will be from the Drink and Destroy, Devil’s Brigade match
Razz: No question, while both of these teams can brawl with the best of them if they have to, they would rather put their skills on display. This one will be memorable

THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER(w/Wally B. King) vs. wCw – World Tag Team Title Match

Wilder and Jack start out, and after a quick handshake, they lock up. Jack grabs a headlock, but Wilder slips out and dropkicks him in the back, runs the ropes and dropkicks him in the face. Cover, but Jack immediately kicks out. Wilder with an arm drag, and another, then a tag to Westgaard. JWW in and grabs an arm bar. OBJ hip tosses out and drops an elbow. Tag to Gator, and GB sends Westgaard to the corner. Blind charge and Gator eats a boot. JWW gets a bulldog from behind, stomps away, drags GB to the corner and tags out. TW in with a somersault leg drop, which gets a quick two count. Wilder walks on Gator's back, then gets a sunset flip for two. Another quick rollup gets another two count, and Gator bails back to the corner to regroup. OBJ offers a tag, but GB wants to wrestle Wilder. Collar and elbow tie-up and Gator backs TW back into a neutral corner. Clean break and Wilder slips under Gator's legs and chops away in the corner. Springboard bulldog and a tag to Westgaard. JWW sends Gator to the ropes and hits a backdrop. Then a clothesline sends Gator over the top and to the floor. OBJ comes over to settle Gator down and Westgaard runs toward the ropes. TFDU hits the deck, but JWW grabs the ropes and stops himself. Suddenly, Wilder runs down the apron, and in one fluid motion, climbs the ropes and hits a corkscrew plancha onto both Gator and Jack, and there are bodies all over the floor. The challengers are in complete control of the tempo, and Westgaard rolls Gator back in. Shoulder breaker, and JWW sends Gator to the turnbuckle. Tag to TW, and Wilder gets some punches in the corner. Gator tries to walk out and drop Wilder onto the turnbuckle, but TW tucks his head in and gets a rollup, but Gator's in the ropes. Wilder looks for a tornado DDT, but Gator manages to block it, and rams Wilder's back hard into the corner. Then again for good measure. Tag to a fresh OBJ, who comes in and immediately targets Wilder's back. Backbreaker and Jack holds on for another. Jack holds on again and slams Wilder hard to the mat. Belly to back suplex, and Jack gets a two count. Tag to Gator, who locks on a half crab. Wilder uses his flexibility to wiggle free and kick Gator off. Wilder charges though, and EATS a super kick. Gator with a tag to OBJ, and Jack stomps away at Wilder. To the ropes, and Jack plasters Wilder with a spine buster. One, two, and Westgaard makes the save. Jack kicks Wilder flush in the back as he gets to his feet, and OBJ gets a Bossman slam. Tag to Gator, who comes in with the SEAN-TON BOMB~! But as GB rolls off the end of the move, he winds up in the wCw corner, and JWW decks him with a right hand. Westgaard wants a tag, and Wilder is slow getting to his feet. TW is up, but so is Gator, and Wilder tries leaping over GB to make the tag, but Gator catches him and drops him with a spine buster of his own. Tag to OBJ, who makes it a point to bring Wilder back to the TFDU corner. Jack pounds away in the corner, and when Wilder tries to escape, OBJ tosses Wilder back into the turnbuckle. But TW elbows Gator off the apron, then grabs a head scissors, uses the ropes for leverage, spins around and sends Jack flying across the ring. Wilder looks to make a tag, but GB rolls back in and clotheslines TW down. This draws JWW into the ring and Westgaard and Gator slug it out. Jack gets to his feet and DDT's Wilder as Gator dumps Westgaard to the floor. TFDU sets up for the Call of the Wild, but Wilder cradles Jack out of nowhere and Gator is forced to break the cover. Gator looks for a power bomb, but Wilder hops off his shoulders, over his head, and makes the tag to JWW. Westgaard goes crazy on everything that moves. Tackle for Gator. Forearm for Jack. Gator to the ropes and JWW hits a Thesz Press. Right hands galore, and Westgaard looks for the Ice Auger on Jack, but OBJ rolls off the back and shoves JWW to the corner. Wilder gets a blind tag, and when Westgaard drops Jack with an old school belly to belly suplex, TW comes off the top with the AIRWALK~! One... two... and Gator breaks up the pin. Westgaard and Gator brawl again, and this time Gator looks for the Chomp, but Westgaard backdrops GB to the floor. Jack gets to his feet and Westgaard hits the CROSSCHECK~! But the impact sends OBJ all the way to the outside, so a cover can not be made. The referee has lost all control of this one. As JWW rolls out to get Jack, Gator slips back in on the other side and CHOMP~! Wilder is dead, and GB makes a cover, despite being the illegal man. One, two, and TFDU retains the... HOLD UP! Westgaard pulled the official out of the ring before he could make the three count! Before the referee can argue with him, JWW rolls back in and hits a STIFF pile driver on Gator, who powders out. Jack rolls back in and hits Wilder with the BOOMERANG, sending TW to the floor. OBJ and JWW go at it in the middle of the ring. Jack misses a blind charge to the corner, and Westgaard hits him with the ICE AUGER~! One, two, and somehow, OBJ gets a shoulder up! In frustration, Gator grabs the hockey stick and climbs back in, but Westgaard whips OBJ into him! Gator falls back out of the ring and Westgaard rolls up Jack. One, two... and Jack kicks out again! Wilder climbs back on the apron, and JWW and TW make eye contact, and Wilder goes up top. They set up for THUNDER, but Gator re-emerges from out of nowhere and shoves Wilder off the top into Westgaard, and Jack rolls Westgaard up and gets the three count, JUST before JWW can kick out, to retain the titles! Westgaard and Wilder are in shock as Gator and Jack have their hands raised in victory. TFDU offers handshakes, and after a moment of indecision, wCw obliges and the fans give both teams a standing ovation after a fine tag team wrestling match. WINNERS in 21:24 and STILL OOWF World Tag Team Champions: The Team From Down Under

Ross: Was Westgaard the legal man in there? I though it was Wilder!
Razz: I thought it was Wilder as well! What the hell? I assume the ref keeps up with these kind of things, but when you have all that action going on, it certainly has to be hard to keep track of things, and I am not usually one to criticize the officials, but I think the ref blew the call on this one
Ross: I have a feeling GM the Rick will be reviewing this one, I gotta think this will lead to another match between these two teams at some point, at least I hope it does.

<cut to the back where Johnny and AA barge into GM the Rick’s office, GM the Rick gets up to yell, but he is cut off by Johnny>

JA: Yeah I know there is a Patriots – Bills game on and you have always been a big Patriots fan, save it
AA: We have a legitimate complaint right about now, and you need to listen
GMtR: This better be damn good for you to take that tone with me
JA: Oh it IS good, you need to do something about that lunatic that keeps threatening us, we get back from our match with Dawg and Dragon…
AA: Which we unfairly lost
JA: That’s right, anyway we get back from that and our locker room is trashed, and this idiot leaves a message in Ric Flair’s blood threatening us
GMtR: What was Ric Flair doing in your locker room?
AA: Post match sandwich spread, but that is not even the point, what are you going to do about this guy?
GMtR: I don’t know
JA: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW? YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT….
AA: Calm down Johnny, I got this. What my friend meant to say, is either you do something about this, or we will be forced to get our very high powered, very expensive lawyers to work, and before you know it, YOU will be working for US.
GMtR: Sounds like you two douchenozzels are threatening me?
JA: and if we are?
GMtR Look, it’s real simple, produce Niles. You two are tight with him, bring him back here, it is good for business, this nutcase wants him, not you two, don’t you see that? Get Niles here and it ceases to be a problem
JA: WE TRIED THAT!
AA: Rick, perhaps you don’t understand, this certainly constitutes unsafe working conditions, there is already precedent for this in Randy Savage v. TNA…..
GMtR Look, I have not even seen this person, for all I know you two assclowns are making this up to get sympathy or something, it ain’t working. So take your threats and drag your asses out of here
AA: but….
GMtR: NOW!!!
<Johnny and AA slowly back out of GM the Rick’s office, Rick slams the door in their faces, both of them grumble obscenities under their breath>

Mysterious voice: You two have failed to deliver what I wanted. Now I must take it out on you.
JA & AA: Oh Hell..

<Johnny and AA turn around and Johnny eats a baseball bat upside the head, AA tries to turn and run, but he is grabbed from behind and gets a snake eyes on the floor. AA is out cold. The mysterious figure grabs Johnny and hits Angel Wings on the floor, blood flows from Johnny’s head and pools on the floor. The figure stands up and looks at his handiwork. Just as he stands, GM the Rick flings his door open

GMtR: GODDAMMIT WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON……<Gm the Rick looks right at the figure> It’s you…..<the mysterious attacker and GM the Rick lock eyes for a moment, then the stranger drops his bat and runs away. After a few seconds GM the Rick snaps back to reality and yells, somewhat meekly SECURITY! Then looks down the hall where the attacker just ran and slowly closes the door.


Ross: What the hell was that?
Razz: I have no idea! The Indian is HERE!
Ross: I don’t think, it is the Indian
Razz: Then who…..
Ross: Later, let’s focus on the next match.
Razz: Ross, we talk about how impressive Chris Cole has been as of late, but there is another guy out there who has been pretty impressive, Mr. Jealous, he won the battle royal to get back into the ROH elimination, and he is one of the most powerful guys I have ever seen. If not for a bit of chicanery by Chris Cole, I think Jealous would have won the six man match tonight
Ross: I agree there Razz and I believe that Jealous has a bright future in the OOWF, if he can control that temper of his. Right now that costs him as much as it helps him. He has had his chances at the Intercontinental title before, but could not quite beat Blackdragon. If he does not keep a clear head, he will not beat LD Williams either.
Razz: After last week when Williams beat both Vander and UnderDawg, this guy is for real, I don’t think anyone would question Williams toughness, but some questioned his desire, he is a low key kind of guy, he is not loud about doing things, but I will tell you this, he will hold onto that title with the tenacity of a bulldog, you will have to kill him to beat him, and I don’t think Jealous has it in him.

LD WILLIAMS vs. MR. JEALOUS – Intercontinental title match

LDW jumpstarts the contest with some rights and left. MJ shoves him away, but LDW rolls with the shove and is back on his feet and kicks MJ in the gut three times. LDW attempts the DDT early, but MJ lifts him off the mat and rams him into the corner. Shoulder blocks follow and a huge Irish whip to the opposite corner crumple LDW to the mat. MJ drops a pair of elbows into LDW’s back then pins him for 2. Delayed vertical suplex garners another MJ two count and he turn LDW over to grind his knee into his back. He whips LDW into the corner again, but LDW gets his foot up this time and drop kicks MJ in the knee. LDW hits a leaping clothesline to put the big man down and then drapes his leg across the ropes. Hanging leg lace from the outside and MJ is limping. LDW is relentless on the leg, with stomps, kicks, and a half crab. His single mindedness costs him though, as he attempts a figure four and as is pushed into the corner. MJ rattles off two German suplexes and a backbreaker for another two count. MJ keeps with the high impact moves in the form of shoulder blocks to the back and a torture rack. LDW fires back and they slug it out. MJ misses a boot and LD drops him with a double leg take down and mounted punches. MJ shoves him off, but LDW drop kicks him in the face and hits a two footed stomp to his chest. He goes after the damaged leg but MJ kicks him off and charges him. LDW drops down and MJ tumbles to the outside. LDW goes for a plancha, but the big man catches him, drops to one knee, then muscles himself back to a vertical base to ram LDW into the ring post and then a fall away slam. MJ drags him back in and covers. Remarkably, the IC champ gets his shoulder up. MJ brutalizes his back some more including a delayed German Suplex before locking in a standing surfboard. LDW fights out of it, but gets locked in a bear hug. His arm drops twice but LDW fires up with rapid fire head butts and even bites him. DDT out of nowhere, but LD can’t capitalize. Finally he drapes an arm over MJ, but MJ rolls the shoulder at the last possible moment. They fight from their knees and LDW throws the most punches, but MJ’s are more potent. MJ stops the exchange with a knee to the gut and a two handed sit out choke slam for 2. He sets LDW up for a Spear, but LDW manages to roll out of the way at the last moment. MJ crashes into the turnbuckles and stumbles out. LDW catches him with a kick to the gut, then one to the knee before driving him down with a DDT. He hooks both legs and puts all his weight across MJ’s upper torso for the hard fought three count.
WINNER in 25:19 and Still OOWF Intercontinental Champion – LD Williams

Ross: Congratulations to LD Williams, this man is certainly proving to be a worthy champion!
Razz: I knew it all along, he never got his due while he ran with Johnny Adrenaline, he is really coming into his own as a champion
Ross: It is always interesting to study new champions and see how they respond to challenges, for example Hardbody Harris has been the champion about a month now, and he has not had to face too much adversity, although it is certainly starting to accumulate
Razz: You have Capellan deserving of a rematch, Microplay wanting a match, Cole earning a match, Moosehead Jack lurking out there somewhere, and Donovan Viper hell bent on regaining a title he felt he should have never lost, that is going to be a lot to deal with in the upcoming weeks.
Ross: he has to survive Donovan Viper tonight before he has to worry about any of that though.

HARDBODY HARRIS vs. DONOVAN VIPER – World Heavyweight Title Match

The entire Devil's Brigade and Ayaka second (third, fourth, and fifth) Viper as the challenger makes his entrance, but Viper tells them to leave once they get to the ring, and they oblige. The lights go out and the Righteous Brothers do their thing as the OOWF World Champion, Hardbody Harris, makes his way thru the curtain and down the aisle. Viper climbs out and tries to attack in the aisle, but Harris sees it coming, and quickly switches the plasma screen on the Trik'd Owt Tytle to gay porn, and that stops Viper in his tracks. Whether Viper is staring at the television or the champion's crotch, we may never know, but Harris kicks Viper in the gut and unloads on him in the aisle with right hands. A whip into the side of the apron, then a suplex in the aisle. Harris takes off the belt and hands it to the referee, who stops and watches some porn, as well, before handing it to the timekeeper. Harris climbs to the top rope and hits THE #1 DOUBLE AXEHANDLE IN THE OOWF~! Harris is relentless on the floor, not giving Viper an inch. (Which is probably what Viper wanted.) He tosses the challenger over the guardrail and into the crowd and the have it out amongst the peons. A few fans give the champion various objects to beat on Viper with, including a high heeled shoe, a bottle of beer, a purse, and Harris finishes the assault with a spine buster on the concrete floor back by the aisle way. HH grabs a hot dog from a nearby fan, takes it out of the bun, and sticks it in Viper's mouth, and the crowd is going nuts! Harris tosses Viper back over the rail and kicks him around in the aisle some more, and they finally make it to the ring and the bell sounds to officially start the match. Harris sends Viper to the corner and climbs up for some punches. The crowd counts along to ten, and HH steps down... then climbs back up and gives him ten more. One more time, but Viper walks out of the corner and tries an inverted atomic drop, but HH blocks it and opts for an eye poke instead. Quick rollup gets a near fall. Jackhammer gets two. Harris then gets an inverted atomic drop of his own, then a traditional version, and clotheslines Viper over the top to the floor. The challenger is out of it on the floor, but Harris goes out and grabs the microphone from the ring announcer and leads the crowd in the singing of "Born in the U.S.A." Viper finally gets to his feet and makes it back in, but Harris dropkicks him back out. This time, the champion follows out and beats on Viper some more. Viper gets sent to the stairs, and Harris grabs him by the hair and measures him with several closed right fists until the challenger is bleeding. The referee comes out to the floor and peels Harris off to check on Viper. The referee asks Viper if he can continue, but while he does, Ayaka comes from out of the crowd and kicks Harris in the jewels from behind! As Ayaka hops back into the crowd, the champion falls to the floor, and Viper pulls himself up. DV kicks Harris right in the face in a sickening shot that sends blood out of the champion's mouth onto a guy in the front row. Now it's Viper's turn to get his shots in, and Viper sends Harris HARD to the ring post, knocking HH silly. Viper rolls Harris back in, and mounts him for some more punches. The ref pulls Viper off after a five count, and Viper pulls Harris up by the hair and talks some trash, then hits a double under hook suplex. Another kicks to the mouth and HH falls out to the floor. Viper shoves the referee aside and follows out, and then drops Harris onto the announce table face first. T-bone suplex on the floor and Viper jaws with some fans. Viper and Ross have some words, and that allows Harris to come from behind and attack. They brawl by the timekeeper, and Harris sends Viper to the guard rail and charges, but Viper catches him and hotshots him on the rail. Viper kicks at his face again and rolls in to break the count. Back out, and Viper drags Harris back toward the announce table by the hair and slams his head on the table again. Viper tosses Harris back in and comes off the top with a flying elbow drop! One, two, and the champion kicks out. Release tiger suplex, then Viper grabs Harris by the back of the hair and rubs his face into the canvas. Another kick to the face, and HH is bleeding a bit more from the mouth. Viper looks for a belly to belly, but HH blocks it and gets a DDT! One, two, and Viper is out. Harris pulls himself up in the corner and Viper charges, but Harris gets a Jack Brisco rollup for another two count. Viper pops up, but misses a clothesline, and Harris sends him to the ropes, but Viper rebounds with the DEATH ELBOW~! Harris bounces thru the ropes and lands with a thud on the floor, and Viper kicks the ropes in frustration that the unconscious champion can not be pinned on the floor. Viper hops out to the floor and pulls the dead weight of the champion up. He props him up against the side of the ring, wipes his own blood off his forehead, and with the same hand, SLAPS Harris across the face! He rolls Harris back in and covers, one, two, and Harris gets a foot on the rope. He hooks the leg, and Harris kicks out. Viper pulls Harris up and hits a German suplex. One, two, and Harris is out again. Viper lines up for the D-3 DDT combo, but he stops to gloat momentarily, and that allows Harris to hit a Northern Lights suplex! One, two, and Viper kicks out. Viper pounds Harris down then tries to pull him up for a power bomb, but Harris counters with the trusty LOWBLOW! Viper with a great selljob on that , and Harris hits the BG MEMORIAL FACEPLANT~! One, two, and the referee is pulled from the ring by Corax! The ref tries to reprimand him, but Corax decks him instead! Corax grabs the Trik'd Owt Tytle and slips in and CLOCKS Harris with it! Viper gets to his feet and the two of them put the boots to Harris.

As the beat down continues, Chris Alt storms the ring and goes crazy on Viper and Corax, clothesline for Viper and a running knee lift takes Corax out to the floor. Alt floors Corax out and they brawl on the floor. Harris looks for the ONE AND ONLY, but Viper counters with the SIDEWINDER~! Cover, but there's no ref. So Viper goes out to help Corax, but Alt fights them off. CA dumps Viper over the guardrail, then grabs Corax and it's SPINAL CONTUSION THRU THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~! However, Harper Camby and Tommy O'Neil have hit the ring and are doing a number on Harris. Alt steps in, but gets a LEFT HOOK from O'Neil for his troubles. Viper makes his way back to the ring, and Camby and O'Neil hold up Harris for a DEATH ELBOW~! But Drink & Destroy run in and throw down on TDB! Big boot from Stank to Viper, then it's STEREO POWERBOMBS for Camby and O'Neil! Capslock and Stank beat on Camby and O'Neil on the floor, and Harris gets to his feet. He calls for the TBEIL, but before he can get to Viper, Ayaka runs in again. HH turns around and catches her foot this time however, then pulls her in for a kiss! Harris tosses her to the floor, but Viper comes looking for the DEATH ELBOW. Donovan Viper staggers for a moment, and before he can cover, Capellan hits the ring and DESTROYS Viper with a SPINNING DRAGON KICK then bails out of the ring. Harris is up to his feet, waits on Viper to pull himself up and hits TO BE EDITED IN LATER~! And almost on cue, the referee pulls himself back in. One.......... two.......... THREE! And Hardbody Harris retains the OOWF World Title in this donnybrook! WINNER and STILL OOWF World Heavyweight Champion in 28:19: Hardbody Harris

Ross: What a match! And What a night! Folks we are out of time! For Razz, I am Ross, Goodnight!

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Money, Power, Respect II PPV, Live November 27th from Zenda, Kansas! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF MidWeek Mayhem, November 2nd, live from Assawoman, Virginia!

For more details, check out our website! oowf.pantslessfury.com/oowf !

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This has been an OOWF production, produced by the LD-Born-Big-Black-Mad-Tar-Jack-Attitude-Jodrell-X production company in accordance with Ecosystem Ltd

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF.com Exclusive

The 3 Piece Set Lockerroom is the setting for a Wild Party. Ax, Cole, Firechild, and 15 assorted SFJ's and other groupies are partying with flowing champagne and loud Rock music.

Ax: WWWhhhhoooooo. This s just like the good ole days. 3 Piece Set all victrious afetr a PPV. We must have the greatest PPV records of all time.

FC: We really messed Seraph up tonight. He won't be sticking his nose in our business again.

Cole: And best of all, I have a guarenteed OOWF Title Shot whenever the hell I want. Harris is now on borrowed time. It is only a matter of time before I beat him to take my rightful place as OOWF Champion.

Ax: When are you going to use your shot?

Cole: It doesn't matter right now. What matters is living it up tonight. We earned it boys.

Each grab 2 or 3 ladies and chug Champagne straight from the bottle, then pour the champagne on the ladies before licking it up.

Cole: It feels great to be on top!!!

[mooseheadjack]

*Camera fades from black to a dark room. The camera zoom in on a face, that appears to wearing a mask that is 1/2 of Canadian Dragon's mask, and 1/2 of Batman's.*

CD: "Finally, the Onslaught title is where it belongs...on the best wrestler in the history of the oowf."

*CD stops and smiles. Just then a cleaning lady comes into the room."

CL: "Oh sorry Mister Dragon. I didn't realize you were here."

CD: "I'm not going to kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me."

CL: "Mister Dragon...are you ok? I think you bumped your head again."

CD: "I'm Batman."

CL: "No sir, Bruce Wayne is Batman. And to be honest with you, I'm happy you won the title, but some people think you're dangerous."

CD: "He's psychotic."

CL: "Ummm, who are you talking about sir? Some people say the same about you."

CD: "What people?"

CL: "Well, face it. You're not exactly normal, are you?"

CD: "This isn't exactly a normal place, is it? I mean have you met Phil or Beast yet? And don't get me started on Viper."

CL: "True. anyways, good work winning the title sir. I'll make sure to clean the ca...I mean the Batmobile. Oh, and good luck at your match on Wednesday...maybe this title run will be longer."

CD: "As long as it takes. I'm gonna show the people of the OOWF that their promotion doesn't belong to the criminals and the corrupt. For you see....I'm Batman!"

*Camera fades to black.*

[mooseheadjack]

<Moosehead Jack is storming through the hallways when he is stopped by SFJ13>

SFJ13: Moose, you lost to Chris Alt....

<Jack raises his trusty Barbed wire lead pipe to hit the SFJ, she screams and flees in terror dropping the mic. Jack chuckles to his melf and looks at the cameraman and after a brief pause, SPEAKS>

You know, they say those who pay attention learn more in defeat than they ever could in victory. Chris Alt, I still think you are a sniveling waste of space, but I will give you some credit. You beat me. Now, your destiny is in your hands. Of course I will be happy to sit back and watch you crash and burn, losing big match after big match, until you are driven to the brink. When that point comes - and it will come - I will have adifficult choice to make. See, Alt, while you showed some courage in getting in the ring with me, I still question your ability to put it all together. So when that time comes, I will have to decide, do I help make you a man by beating your brains in until you finally realize that it takes more than just looking good, or do I simply watch you self destruct and sit back and enjoy watching you sink, unable to pull yourself out of the depths of mediocrity. That is a bridge I will cross when the time comes. I hear rumors that now you think you are up to challenging LD Williams for his Intercontinental title <chuckles> son, that is something you want no part of.

But on to other things. I finally get a shot to take the title from another pretty boy, another worthless waste of space in Hardbody Harris. Harris the only decent thing you have done is beat Niles Anderson and sent that coward away, which just saved me the trouble of doing it myself. Harris, I have already heard that you are more concerned with Microplay. That's good, forget about me, worry about him. When I pin your shoulders to the mat, and take that stupid title from you, you will remember Moosehead Jack

Trust me

[mooseheadjack]

*Hardbody eats a bag of gummi worms and watches Moosehead Jack's promo on his TRIK*D OWT TYTLE! A microphone repairman walks by, and Harris grabs him*

HH: Hey, just what I needed. I need you to interview me.

MR: Uh...I just fix stuff, like mics and walls and such.

HH: It's okay. Just hold it up and let me make fun of you.

MR: OKAY!

HH: Thanks. By the way, the Mario Bros. called. They want their mustache back. First things first: Viper, you're a fraud and a cheat, and you'll never beat me again. I don't care how many guys you bring out, you play dirty, you're going to lose. You play clean, you're going to lose. You play spoons...you're going to lose. Because you're slow. Right, Super Mario?

MR: Uh, I don...

HH: Quiet, you. Now just a few days later I have a triple threat match for my world title. And, my oh my, isn't this a blast from the past. First, we have the 1st ever OOWF champion, Microplay. I should be sooooo worried about microscrotum, except for the fact that he's never pinned me. In fact, I once stole his salami and honey mustard sandwiches and made him cry like Princess Toadstool. Say, Super Mario, did you ever get a piece of that sweet Mushroom Kingdom Ass?

MR: Really, I don't apprec...

HH: You're damned right you never hit that shit. You need a damn mushroom to get your penis to grow. Anyway, Microplay is of no concern to me. He's washed up and couldn't cut a promo to save his life. Now we have, perhaps, the one OOWFer I haven't beaten yet: Moosehead Jack. He's 1-0 against me, claiming a win at a house show. Remember when I was in the hospital and he squeezed my ventilation tube?

MR: No, really, I don't know anyt...

HH: That's right. Your penis is in another castle. Anyway, Moose thinks he's soooo bad ass with his little lightbulb and his "trust me" catchphrase. Today is Halloween, right Mario? Right. So tonight I'm going to dress up as Moosehead Jack! I'll be right back.

*Hardbody ducks offscreen and we hear some shuffling. Microphone Repairman stands there and fingers his suspenders. A few seconds later, the camera turns black. A tiny, swaying lightbulb lowers into view, and Hardbody Harris wearing a pair of antlers sits down.*

MooseHard: My name is Moosehead Jack. There is only one thing I enjoy more than inflicting unwordly pain and suffering on the elite of the OOWF. Yes, even though I sit here in the dark and get myself all riled up with my scary words and my "I'm going to kill you even though I've never killed anybody but this time I might really go crazy but I'll probably just hit you with a chair one time and call myself the angel of death" attitude, I'm really just a big softie at heart.

*The camera pulls back and we can see the tiny lightbulb illuminating a bunny rabbit on MooseHard's lap. MHard is stroking it.*

MHard: See, while my foreboding and ominous predictions often call forth images of the macabre. "I'm going to end your career in a grisly bloodbath." "My opponent better not make a mistake or I'll jab a spoon in his throat." Yeah, I talk tough, but all I really want to do is stroke my rabbit and feed him little bits of lettuce. Here, my furry buddy. Eat up. So Hardbody Harris, remember: I'm a scary man who might just do bad things to you. And if I do, I'll probably go and write in my journal and then tell Mr. Bunnynose how bad I feel. Because as bad as my heart punch feels, nothing hurts as much as a broken heart.

Trust me.

*With that, MooseHard flicks the lightbulb with his index finger and it smashes on Microphone Repairman, causing him to ignite in flames*

Hardbody: Oh, damn. I didn't even need a fireflower!

[mooseheadjack]

<Jack in a dark room, in an undisclosed place>

Time. Time is a funny thing. You always think you have plenty of time. You always think you will have time to do all the things in life that you want to do. You wake up in the morning and think all the time in the world lies before you. You think about going to see a loved one, but there is time for that later. Only one problem, you may have plenty of time left, but theirs is gone. They are gone. And there is nothing you can do for them anymore.

See Harris, right now, I know you think you have all the time in the world. You are young, you are the OOWF World Champion, you have all the time in the world in front of you. But what about others Harris? What about people you care about <Jack holds up a barely conscious Fievel by the tail> What about those you care about? See, Harris, we may not be able to control how much time we have left, but I damn sure can control how much time HE has left.

<Jack strokes Fievel lightly with one finger> So tiny, so delicate, so insignificant. Harris, time is precious, life is precious. It is remarkable to think that with one hand, I could destroy this life, I could end his time, with one smash of my fist. Look at him. Tiny lungs filling with air that sends oxygen to the blood, pumped through impossibly tiny veins. The very essence of life. And if I choose, I could end that.

Take a look Harris, take a look at your little friend here. Don’t worry, I am not going to kill him, that would be too easy. It is all about time. I want you to look at your little friend here, I want you to think about those delicate little lungs, constricting tighter and tighter, struggling to fill with the air that sustains life. Then, eventually, the air just ends, the lungs constrict, everything goes dim. Life slowly ebbs away, it may be quick, it may take time. <Jack tosses Fievel into a safe and slams the door shut>

The way I see it Harris, you have a pretty tough decision to make. You either choose between saving your little friend, or defending that title. Can you do both? Will you find the time? You either show and defend your title Wednesday, and let Fievel die, or you find your little friend and forfeit the title to me. The decision is yours Harris. Will you make the right decision? For your sake, you better.

Trust me