OOWF Midweek Mayhem (3/13) Live - Rybnik, Poland

[BookerShark]

OOWF Midweek Mayhem
Live from Rybnik, Poland
Wednesday, March 13th, 2013

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
Stank & LD Williams (c) vs. The Darlings

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
DK Murphy (c) vs. Rabbit Mask


Firewoman, Danny Taylor, & The Kai vs. Moosehead Jack, Ghosthead, & Matt Folz
Chris Evans vs. Mai Muyo
Chad Madison vs. Dillon Walker - Non title match
Amazing Jos vs. Tommy Wilder vs. Jeremy Punswick - Winner gets an Onslaught Title Match Next Week
Banned from Everywhere vs. Stan Fulton & Ecosystem



Card subject to lightbulbs being screwed in

[BookerShark]

*OOWF Medical*

Alexis Darling and Firewoman are pacing outside the medical section of the backstage area when they hear a scream come from inside. Firewoman's first through the door with Alexis right on her toes.

Firewoman: What the hell are you doing in here?

Medical Personnel 1: His ankle has a hairline fracture and there was a dislocation of his collarbone that we needed to reset. What's he on?

Lexie: No idea what you're talking about.

Medical Personnel 2: Look, there's absolutely no way he should have been out there at all based on the damage to his ankle and knee prior to tonight so he had to be taking something to deal with the pain.

Firewoman: That doesn't matter now. How is he?

MP 1: Honestly, he was probably seconds away from having his career ended. His ankle and knee are almost shot and then the head and neck damage still needs to be checked out.

Lexie: Is he going to be okay? That's what matters.

MP 2: With some rest. Some time off. Probably.

Lexie: *nods sadly* He'll get it.

Firewoman: Damn right he will. *turns to Lexie* What are we gonna do about this?

Fire points to the tag title match and motions that there's no way Alex can make it.

Lexie: I don't know. I'll talk to Selena and see if we can delay it, but with the rumors that she's show favoritism, I'll figure it out.

Firewoman: All you've got to do is ask and you know I'll be there for you.

Lexie: I know, but you got your own shit to deal with and even when we would win, we'd have to give the titles up. I'll find someone or I'll do it myself.

Firewoman: I've got your back. But we got to do something about dumbass over there first.

Lexie: *nods*

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is STORMING~! away from medical, as only she can, when she runs right into Poe.

FW: Move.

P: Oh, I've seen that look. Who are you planning to murder?

FW: Depends on who I run into first.

P: Let's see...I'm guessing Folz is high on the list. Probably Ghosthead too.

FW: Yay, you get a prize. Now MOVE.

P: Lioness...I know you have never once in the entire time we've known each other listened to me.

FW: That's not entirely true.

P: It's mostly true. Going after Folz and Ghosthead is not going to heal Alex any faster.

FW: I didn't think it would.

P: So....why?

Fire stops....and thinks....like no one has ever asked her that before.

FW: Because.....um........dammit, move.

Fire tries to go around him and Poe, who is much taller than she is, is able to spread his arms and block her completely. She growls in anger and starts to just attack him instead, and he just ... lets her? Finally he takes both arms and wraps them around her in a hug. She continues to struggle, a bit more violently at first (because you know how she is about those things). But, finally she stops, and looks up at him, and he lets her go.

FW: What the fuck are you doing?

P: Letting you get it out of your system. You seriously don't know what to do with any of it do you? Being a...well, in a relationship...relying on someone, caring about someone, all that.

FW: Oh good, more therapy.

P: Fire...

FW: No, Omar...just...SHUT up. Do you know how hurt he is? They can't get away with that. They need to pay, they need to--

P: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

Fire strangely falls silent.

P: You need to control your rage. I've always said that. If you can control it and focus it, you'll be unstoppable. It's the only way my proposal will work. Have you thought about it?

FW: I have. And....I think you're right.

P: Really!?

FW: BUT I need to make sure Alex is okay with it.

P: Ah...maybe you do know what it means to care about someone besides yourself after all.

FW: Very funny.

P: Go back to your husband. Vengeance can wait for another day.

Firewoman nods and turns to go, then Poe puts a hand on her shoulder and she turns. He puts his other hand on her other shoulder and looks her straight in the eye.

P: He will be fine.

Fire nods again, and turns down the hall. Poe sighs, and then smiles and grabs his cell. He dials.

P: Hello....yes, she's in.....I'm just as surprised as you are..... Let's start contacting the rest of them.

FAAAAAAAAAAADE...

[BookerShark]

We see Matt Folz walking out of the arena with his arm around Jaime McAllister's shoulders.

JM: Gee, I didn't know you were that close to ending Darling's career tonight, do you feel guilty?

MF: I do, honestly. I almost deprived the world of watching the great Alexander Darling, the greatest professional wrestler of all time. If he can't come back, I don't know how I could live with myself.

Both Folz and Jaime pause and start laughing hysterically.

MF: I'm sorry, I can't keep this up anymore.

JM: I'm surprised you even got through the first 3 words without giggling.

MF: To give you a serious answer, fuck no I don't feel guilty. What do I have to feel guilty about? Did I hit him with a chair?

JM: No

MF: Did I hit him with some brass knuckles?

JM: Nope.

MF: Then surely I must have hit him with a low blow, then grabbed his tights while putting my feet on the ropes?

JM: No, you did not.

MF: Wait, how the hell did I win the match then?

JM: You outwrestled him.

MF: Say that again

JM: You flat out kicked his ass, put on a clinic, and outwrestled the arrogant fuck.

MF: Damn right I did. Now, I didn't set out to seriously injure him... as annoying as he is, he didn't piss me off near as much as Moreland did... I just wanted to beat him. But I'm not going to shed any tears over him either. If he was stupid enough to get in the ring with me while already injured then he deserved everything that happened to him. Now I'm in the Elimination Chamber, back to one win away from getting a guaranteed title shot, and I'm sure as hell not going to blow this one. But I'll start worrying about that later, tonight, I want to celebrate.

Folz and Jaime start walking off as we FADE

[BookerShark]

*Outside the arena*

Folz and Jamie are walking up to his sports car when then see someone sitting on the hood. Matt holds Jamie back to get a look at who it is, but all he can see in the darkness is the black hood.

MF: Alex is still getting checked out, Fire's been stopped from doing something stupid, so Alexis Darling, feel like joining your brother?

Alexis: *batistalaugh*

Alexis slides off the car and doesn't say a word as she approaches Folz and takes a swing. Folz ducks under the punch and fires back with one of his own. The two start trading punches and it looks like the passion of Alexis is slowly gaining ground on Folz as he gets pushed back. Lexie's about to snap out with a kick when Jamie jumps on her back. Alexis struggles for a moment as the wiggling Jamie tries to claw out her eyes. Jamie's about to be tossed to the ground when Folz reappears and nails a kick to Lexie's stomach. Jamie drops off just as Folz picks Lexie up...OLYMPIC SLAM on the concrete. Folz laughs as he stands over Alexis.

MF: Stupid fucking bitch. Go join your brother.

Folz finishes up with a few kicks to Lexie's gut as she writhes on the ground in pain. Finally Jamie walks over and drags Folz away.

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

We come up in the Destroyatorium and see Dynamite Danny Taylor and The Kai sitting at a table across form each other. Both men have a drink in front of them, and smiles on their faces. Dashing Victor Deniro walks up and sits down, this weeks card in his hand.

DVD: Looks like it's tag team time again, six man to be precise.

Neither Danny nor Kai seem to pay Vic any notice as they continue to stare at each other.

DVD: We have some experience with six man matches, but it's not DK as the third this time it's....(Vic trails off as he realises neither man is paying attention to him).

Vic looks pissed and snaps his fingers twice in front of both of them drawing there attention.

DVD: I get it, you guys are excited to step in the ring against each other in the elimination chamber, right?

Kai: Hell yeah.

Danny nods his head in agreement.

DVD: That's nice, and I appreciate the friendly rivalry thing you two have going, but if you focus on fighting each other, you both will lose.

Both Danny and Kai look a little stunned, as if thinking of this for the first time.

DVD: You are not the only people in that match. You have four other opponents, who will gladly take advantage of you focusing on each other. And two of them face you this week. Both Ghosthead and Folz team up, and neither man can be taken lightly.

Danny points to Kai and himself, and the slams his fist into his palm.

Kai: Danny is right, me and him can crush these jabronis in a tag match.

DVD: Maybe, but it's not a tag match, it's a trios. The two of you are teaming up with the world champ Firewoman.

Danny smiles.

Kai: World champ, that gives us an advantage.

DVD: And they team up with Moosehead Jack, whom neither of you have had any success against lately.

At this both Kai and Danny's smiles fade.

DVD: Yeah, I know you both didn't want to hear that, but it's the truth, so maybe....just maybe, instead of thinking about fighting each other, you find our illustrious world champ and focus on trying to win a match this week.

Danny and Kai both nod, slam there drinks, and head off, presumably to find Firewoman. Victor just leans back and smirks. Ashley walks over and places a drink in front of him.

Ashley: You seem to be getting pretty good at this managing thing Vic.

DVD: Maybe, or maybe I'm just getting lucky.

Vic and Ashley share a chuckle as we

FADE

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is sitting in Alexander's hospital room. Alexis has been checked out after her failed attack on Folz, and is apparently fine enough to be yelling at her brother, who is sort of yelling back about whether or not he's fit to wrestle on Wednesday. Firewoman is slumped down in her chair, having changed at some point back into street clothes and leather jacket, rubbing her temples with one hand, feet propped up against the side of Alex's hospital bed, but is apparently saying nothing.

AD: So you go and attack him. By yourself. THAT right there is why I'm not leaving.

LD: We don't need you to protect us, we can take care of ourselves.

AD: Riiiiiiight....what exactly were you doing in the ER then?

LD: Having my brother's back, same thing you would be doing.

AD: And your sister-in-law there, who's merrily holding hands with her brother, the devil incarnate, and skipping down the road to insanity. Who's going to have her back? Has he chosen your match stipulation yet, Fire?

Firewoman stops rubbing her temples and just rests her head on her fist, and her elbow on the arm of the chair.

AD: Maybe a last blood match? Person who bleeds to death last, wins? You can get buried with the championship belt then, Fire, is that what you want?

Firewoman sighs and says nothing.

LD: She doesn't need you to watch her back, she can take care of herself, and so can I. And we can watch out for each other, plus there's Kai, Chad--

AD: Chad that stabbed me in the back...greeeeeeeeeeat....

LD: The guys at the Destroyitarium. Stank and LD won't let anything happen to Fire at least and--

AD: That's not changing my mind, Lexie. I'm not leaving. I'm fine. We're booked in a tag team match, so when I get tired, I'll tag you in and--

LD: NO! Fire can be my partner.

AD: She can't wrestle twice in one night.

LD: In two tag matches? Sure she can. She's wrestled three singles matches in one night before. Goddammit, Fire, why aren't you saying anything?

AD: Because there's nothing she can say. She's already tossed our promise to not do anything dangerous anymore under the bus, and I don't need to throw myself off a building to prove it to her.

LD: Fire, say something! He's your freakin' husband!

AD: She'd be a hypocrite to even try, after all her talk about 'post retirement plans' to start a family...you know, IF she survives her brother again without being put in a wheel chair, or massive brain damage, or--

LD: She can one-up you and go to the board. Fire, I know they still respect your job as commissioner, and your head for this business. You can have them declare him ineligible to wrestle and--

AD: She wouldn't dare. That's basically a career death sentence.

LD: If she cares one iota for you, she will. She'll do it and have you on the first plane to New Orleans before you can blink.

AD: I do not WANT to go to New Orleans. That won't help me one damn bit.

LD: Fire! Dammit, do you not even care about your husband at all?

AD: Leave her alone, Lexie. She knows I'm right.

LD: Or she's just as selfish and insane as ever and--

FW: Alex is right.

Alex and Lexie are both shocked as Fire finally speaks. she sighs and stands up.

AD: I am?

FW: Shut up. Lexie...Alex isn't going to New Orleans.

LD: WHY THE HOLY HELL NOT?

FW: Just....*she takes Lexie gently by the arm and starts walking her toward the door* ... look, give me a few minutes here, okay?

LD: If this doesn't end with him taking a break, you and I are going to have a situation.

FW: Understood. Bye bye.

Lexie leaves. The door is still ajar.

AD: Thank GOD one of you is seeing reason--

FW: I said shut up. I agree, you should not go to New Orleans. But...look, there's something I've been keeping from you, and you're not going to be really thrilled about it...but I need you to hear me out, and then you are GOING to take a break and heal.

AD: What....?

FW: Wait...

Firewoman "escorts" the INC out of the room and slams the door.

Time passes and eventually the door opens. Firewoman comes out, and it appears she may have gotten a little upset during their conversation. Alexis basically pounces upon her.

LD: Well?

FW: He's taking a break.

LD: So he is going home?

FW: No....look, I actually can't tell you more than that. And neither can he. Not right now. Soon though. Trust me.

Firewoman walks away, leaving Lexie speechless.

FAAAAAAAAADE

[BookerShark]

<Firewoman and LD Williams are walking down an alley in Rybnik>

LD: He will be fine

FW: I'm sure he will. That is NOT the point

LD: It's what we do, how many times have you been in the same spot?

FW: Again....NOT the point

LD: It's what we do. Beside, would you be so worked up if that were Folz in the hospital? No you wouldn't

<Before Fire can respond, LD shoves her through a doorway into a smoky room and follows her inside>

FW: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT......

<Fire turns and looks and we see Moose being shoved through another door by Stank>

MHJ: WHAT THE FUCK MAN?

<Fire and Moose turn and look at one another>

FW/MHJ: The fuck is he/she doing here?

<Stank points to a table set up, with several bottles of whiskey and shot glasses>

Sta: Sit

<Fire crosses her arms and stares stubbornly at Stank>

Sta: Woman, sit the fuck down, we have shit to work out

<Fire glares at Stank and sits down. LD just looks at Moose and he sits down across from Fire. Stank and LD take a seat and pour a shot for everyone. All four take one shot, then another, then a third, a fourth, then toast the last, and take a fifth, slam the shot glasses down, and everyone sits back and catches their breath>

LD: Ok. There is a reason we brought you both here......

FW: FORCED us both here.....

Sta: Would you have come if you had been invited?

MHJ: Maybe

<Stank turns and glares at Moose>

MHJ: What is your point?

LD: Moose, you have a title shot at MADNESS 9 against Fire. Since you won the Invitational, you get to name the stip

FW: You called us here for THAT? Seriously? I had to come all the way here and <glaring at LD> get SHOVED into a smoky room so Moose can tell me he wants some kind of sadistic, chainsaw on a pole taipei death, winner is the last to die match? I am out of here

<Fire gets up to leave>

Sta: woman.....

<Fire glares at Stank again, then sticks out her tongue and sits down, pouting a bit>

LD: We called you here to talk you OUT of that

<Moose sits back and crosses his arms grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary>

Sta: Look.......for whatever deranged reason.......we are friendly with both of you.......

LD: Your best of seven series was EPIC, insane.........suicidal even

Sta: There is no reason to top it, there is no reason to even TRY and top it

<LD and Stank both look at Fire>

FW: What are you looking at ME for? We all know the only way Moose can beat me is in some insane ultra violent match.

Sta: <shaking his head> this is not helping. He just held the onslaught championship

FW: So?

LD: So that means he CAN wrestle......even if he doesn't do it very often

Sta: Or ever really

MHJ: <finally speaking up> Did I not beat you in the tournament?

Sta: FOCUS! The point is, we are here to stop you two from killing one another

<Moose grabs a glass and pours a full glass of whiskey and gets to his feet and walks around the room a bit>

MHJ: Lis, what was it I said all along during our best of seven series?

FW: You said a lot Jackie, how the hell am I supposed to keep track of your delusional rantings?

MHJ: What was the ONE thing I said over and over?

FW: <staring at Moose trying to figure out where he is going with this> That I could be better

MHJ: And......are you?

FW: Not because of you

MHJ: Really?

<the siblings stare at one another>

LD: Fire, you have to admit, after you recovered from <shooting a glance at Moose> Jack damn near killing both of you.......you had some of that old fire back

Sta: You won the world title....

FW: Who says I wouldn't have otherwise?

Sta: But you DID

FW: And?

MHJ: And.......you got your redemption. You beat me. You upped the ante, just like I hoped you would, and you beat me at my own game, right?

FW: <smirking> Looks that way, doesn't it

MHJ: <finishing his drink in one gulp> now I want my chance at redemption. I want that title.

FW: Fine. I will beat you at your own game again. What's it gonna be Jackie? Black Cat? Last Blood? You name it.

LD: Fire I don't think.........

<Moose slams his hands on the table, Fire gets to her feet knocking her chair backward and they stare at one another again>

MHJ: Ninety minute, ironperson, onslaught rules, for the title. That's what I want

Sta: Jesus Christ Moose, there is no fucking way in he.........wait, what?

LD: <looking shocked> ninety minute.......onslaught rules?

MHJ: <still locked into a stare with Fire> That's what I want

Sta: <shaking his head> I don't know what you are going for here.......

<Fire pours herself a glass of whiskey and downs it and slams it on the table>

FW: You got it. I am the better wrestler Jackie. Without hardcore.......you can't hang with me, and that sparkles with me just fine.

<Fire turns and walks out the door back into the alley. Moose laughs and turns and walks back into the bar leaving LD and Stank sitting there>

LD: What the hell just happened here?

<Stank pours himself a stiff drink and drains it in one gulp, then another>

Sta: I do believe the Quinn's have finally lost their fucking minds

<fade>

[BookerShark]

Eco is in a hotel room with Stan and Mai, watching Moose and Fire on OOWF-TV, when Fire accepts the ninety-minute Onslaught Rules ironperson match. Eco groans.

Eco: UGHHHHHH. Could you make a MORE BORING MATCH?

Stan: …what are you talking about? That actually sounds fairly intense.

Mai: And Fire is an amazing wrestler, and she can definitely carry Moose to a great match.

Stan: …Mai, did you just break kayfabe? I couldn’t tell.

Eco: No, Mai broke “in-universe” kayfabe, like when Scott Hall did a worked shoot on “Billionaire Ted.” Breaking kayfabe in the OOWF would be if I noted that Dev is just putting everyone over these past couple weeks.

Kayfabe ducks in and throws a stuffed animal at Eco’s head.

Eco: I didn't actually say that! It was a meta-comment!

Stan: Seriously though, Juni, you just think ironperson matches are boring?

Eco: Yeah, it’s just…wrestling for SO LONG, you know? Without any weapons or anything!

Stan: Eco, were you ever…you know…a wrestling fan?

Mai: No, he wasn’t.

Eco: What are you talking about? I got into wrestling right out of college! I founded a wrestling company! I was obviously a wrestling fan.

Mai: No, you were a “sports entertainment” fan. That’s why you joined FMW and made your name not by performing amazing suplexes, but jumping off crazy props onto your opponent.* Look at the original OOWF shows. You named pay-per-views after Invader Zim catchphrases and third-party Presidential candidates. You used pay-per-view time for a “Quarter-Dollar Hooker Search,” That’s when you were supposedly still a practicing Catholic, by the way.

Eco: You never give me a break, do you? I’ve been trying to be a good brother to you for months now, and you claim you’ve forgiven me, but you’re always needling me!

Mai: 28 hours.

Eco: What’s that?

Mai: 28 hours, since I won a spot in the Elimination Chamber for a World Championship match, and my “good brother” hasn’t given me so much as a “good luck!” or, heaven forbid, a “congratulations!”

Eco: Wha—Stan didn’t either!

Stan: I caught her right when she came backstage, Juni.

Eco: …Fine. I’m a bad brother.

Mai: (putting her arms around Eco) No no no. The point is not that you’re a bad brother. The point is that you don’t care about wrestling. You care that I’m doing well, but you don’t really care about my career accomplishments. Just like you only care about the World Championship when you’re pissed at the current champion.

Eco: So my motivations are a little different than yours, so what?

Stan: That difference matters.

Mai: You can show up every night dedicated to winning Stan the Tag Team Championships, so he can get his Grand Slam, so you can finally do a nice thing for your sister. But if you don’t really care about wrestling, you’re not going to get your game to the level you need.

Eco: …That’s fair. Training, bright and early?

Stan: You know it.

Eco: Answer me this, Mai…why are you always super-intense around me, but super-cheery around like, Chad, Alex, and Fire?

Mai: Because they’re so nice!

Eco: …Just don’t give Matt Folz a friendship bracelet, okay?

Mai: But he was so nice to me in the New Guard!

Stan and Eco stare at Mai.

Mai: Okay, that time I was just busting your balls. But it’s true!

FADE

*Comic book style citation: see Eco's ridiculous backstory from a couple years back.

[BookerShark]

*Amazing Jos is in front of the Red and Black OOWF banner.

*He wears his traditional Aviator Shades and is sporting a red 3 piece armani suit.

*To everyones surprise, you see the LBCW title slung around his shoulder.

Jos: Punswick thinks he can get one over on me? Due to a technicality in his Title match contract, ol boy had to give me back what was rightfully mine.

Punswick, you think you`re cute? These kids games are over, you publically embarassed me and im returning the favor this wednesday!

Tommy boy, you get the fuck out of my way before I show you the Falcon Kick is worse for your health than Mountain Dew.

Punswick, this means war!

[BookerShark]

~~~ Chad stops in at Ric's Sandwich Shoppe for some lunch. He spots Alexis & Firewoman sitting together and joins them. ~~~

Chad: Ladies

Firewoman: Cowboy

Alexis: As I was saying, why couldn't you tell me? It's not like I'm not going to find out, he IS my brother

Firewoman: He won't say a word. He knows better.

Chad: I guess this is about the super-secret thing with Poe.

~~~ Firewoman stares daggers at Chad ~~~

Firewoman: You just never mind

Chad: I will, but just for the record, I don't like him and certainly wouldn't trust him.

Alexis: Is that what you came over here for? To stick your nose where it doesn't belong?

Firewoman: You too Alexis. Drop it.

Chad: I came over here to offer to help. Alex clearly won't be ready to go on Wednesday.

Alexis: yeah, I'll be ok. If I need it, there's Kai, Firewoman...

Chad: Both of whom are facing Moose, Ghost AND Folz. I'm facing Dillon Walker. If someone has to pull double duty, it should be the guy who's least likely to get killed in his first match.

Alexis: Don't overlook Walker. I've faced him before. He's no pushover.

Chad: He's less likely to murder in the ring than Moose is.

Firewoman: He has a point Lexie.

Alexis: Fine. I'll think about it.

Chad: Listen, I'm not trying to get into family business. Tell me no and I go away. I just thought you could use some help. You want to face Stank & LD all by yourself?

Alexis: ...................

Firewoman: She's thinking about it.

Chad: Good enough for me. Gonna run in the morning?

Firewoman: Maybe. Depends on how Alex is doing

Chad: Cool. You want to join us?

Alexis: I don't think so.

Chad: Suit yourself. I have training footage to watch. "Every Dillon Walker Mach that's ever been on film", courtesy of Zane Myers.

~~~ Chad grabs his to go sack and heads to the door as we fade.... ~~~

[BookerShark]

*OOWF Hallway of Pacing Before Making a Decision*

Alexis Darling is walking up and down a hallway and stopping in front of a door every so often and looks about to knock before she stops herself and paces a few more times down the hallway. She finally makes her way back to the door. And she knocks this time. There's a few giggles from the other side of the door as a towel-clad Chad Madison answers it. Alexis looks over his shoulder and sees a few SJF's in varying states of bikinidom. Alexis sighs...

Chad: Ma'am.

Lexie: Don't try that southern charm on me. I know what the real Chad can be.

Chad: *eyeroll* Whatever. Why are you here then if you hate me so much?

Lexie: I don't hate you Chad. Never have. The problem is I don't much like you because I can't trust you.

Chad: The past has been apologized for Alexis. If you've come here to rehash it...

Lexie: I'm sorry. I'm not here about the past. I have a question about the future.

Chad: Go on.

Lexie: Besides the Moose issue, I can't ask Fire to be my partner this week because then even if we win I could never ask her to relinquish the World Title and I'd be back where I started. But then you came and volunteered. And yet you've been here long enough to know the rules; so why volunteer knowing that if we win, you'd have to give up an Onslaught Title I know you took great pleasure in winning.

Chad: The truth of the matter is I'm not thinking that far in advance. We've been allies before and whether or not you believe it, Run DEA had its good moments for us and I don't have a problem being nice to you. Besides that, it's LD Williams & Stank; if anyone has experience beating them, it's yours truly. If we win, we'll cross that bridge, but more than that, I want to help.

Lexie: *sizes Chad up* Don't let me down.

Chad: I would never ma'am. Would you like to come in?

Lexie: Keep dreaming cowboy.

Chad: *Smirking* Don't forget to bring the nails.

Lexie: *shakes her head*

Chad: Cause I'll bring the hammer!

Lexie: Still not over.

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

Meanwhile, Firewoman is sitting on a Friday night in the Darling Luxury Suites, watching video of matches. She's wearing regular ol' lounge pants and a plain white t-shirt that looks too big to be hers. The INC watches for a while and we see she's watching tape on not only her opponents, but also her partners. She's got a pad of paper and pencil stuck behind her ear while she takes notes. She's also got a mug with a tea bag in it, and she's drinking that and...wearing glasses? Anyway, Quorras appears from wherever.

Qs: What are you doing?

FW: Watching video.

Qs: It's Friday night.

FW: So it is.

Qs: I thought...don't we usually all go out?

FW: Don't feel like it. I really want to see if I can figure out where Danny and Kai can compliment each other and then I think I can see where Folz and Ghost have a similar thing and--

Qs; But....we were all going to meet up with Spencer and Ashley at the Destroyitarium. Girls night out and stuff?

FW: Maybe some other time. I really think I'm on to something here.

Qs: Fire......

But Fire has gotten back to what she was doing and ignores Quorras. Quorras sighs and heads out to meet the rest of the Darling clan.

[BookerShark]

Puns: Jos. You don't deserve that championship and you know it. You get it back due to some fluke technicality? I'll fucking kill you if that's what it takes to get the Lbcw championship back...

Tommy Wilder? Don't care if you're in the match or not. Stay the fuck outta my way.

[BookerShark]

Mai Muyo stands in front of the OOWF banner, twirling her pigtails.

Mai: I think it's time for an old school promo...in fact, old school enough to be Biblical.

Mai brings out her Bible, smiling.

Proverbs, Chapter 29, Verse 23: "Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor."

You've heard that kind of criticism before, I'm sure, Chris. But I want to reflect today on why arrogance is a sin. To proclaim the truth...that can never be a sin. Satan is called the Prince of Lies for a reason.

So arrogance--the idea that one can be better than one's peers enough to merit boasting--must not merely be unbecoming. It must be a lie.

Chris, you think you're an amazing wrestler, and you most certainly are. But you're in a company with a lot of amazing wrestlers. So how much better are you, that you consider yourself "out of their league."

Are you infinitely better? Certainly not.

Are you ten times as good? Evidence would suggest not.

Maybe you're twice as good as most? Perhaps. But how much of a difference is that? In Risk, a two-dice attacker beats a one-die defender around fifty-eight percent of the time.

See, the Good Lord gave us all strengths and weaknesses, but he didn't make too many super humans. That's for the manga. But you never grew past those comic books, did you, Chris?

Let me be clear--I'm not calling you a child, you've got a number of years on me. And when you are clear-headed, you know that what I'm saying is true. Think of when you started the New Guard. You knew that those veterans, despite all their success, experience and talent, were never truly "out of our league." You knew that everyone runs up against the limits of their bodies, their health, their age.

And yet, you don't accept this critique for yourself. You can't accept being a narrow first among equals. be just a little bit better. You can't stand to think that no matter how good you get, you could be vulnerable to losing on any given night.

You especially can't stand to think that little Mai Muyo might beat you on Wednesday, and then go on to win the Elimination Chamber, and leap ahead of you in contention for the World Championship.

But whether or not you want to believe it...there's a chance. How good a chance? Come Wednesday, we roll the dice.

Maybe it's your time. But maybe...it's Mai Time.

FADE

[BookerShark]

*Matt Folz is walking through the Hallway of Random Encounters, which sure does have a lot of corners. As he rounds one of them, DK Murphy is directly in his way. Folz looks vaguely annoyed, but goes to step around DK, who moves in the same direction to block his progress*

MF: Let me guess, now you are going to stare at me with The Gaze of Righteous Anger, then chastise me for what I did to Lexie.

DKM: Not really, she did come at you first.

MF: Then this is about what I did to Alex.

DKM: I heard your promo, and it was at least somewhat correct. Besides that, there are other people out to get you for what you did to Alex, and I don't want to steal their thunder.

MF:, Hmm, then this must be when you warn me about my match against your team mates at Mayhem.

DKM: They are big boys. I think they will take care of themselves.

MF: Going to brag about the Intercontinental Title? I told you I don't care about it.

DK: I remember that.

MF: Well, I have to admit, I'm out of ideas. Why are you wasting my time here?

DKM: My name is Dominic Murphy...

[BookerShark]

*Before DKM finishes his sentence, he slaps Folz on the ear with an open left hand and takes a half-step back. Folz looks surprised and then angry, and rushes forwards throwing punches. DK bobs and weaves, blocking most of the punches and throwing a few quick jabs. As Folz's momentum slows down a little, DK lands a series of combinations that stagger him. Folz takes a step back to get some breathing room, but DK launches a standing dropkick that catches him on the chin and knocks him back into the wall, causing some clangy poles to scatter and, well, clang. A dazed Matt Folz slumps against the wall in a seated position.

DKM looks ready to take advantage, but Jaime McAllister runs up from behind and jumps on his back. DK Murphy is much larger than Lexie Darling, so he doesn't seem bothered physically, but he does pause.*

DKM: I really don't like hitting women who aren't wrestlers or martial artists, especially outside the context of a sanctioned match. I suggest you let go.

*Jaime hangs on with a determined look on her face. DKM shrugs, and looks like he is deciding what action to take. Before he does, a very large hand grabs Jaime by the back of the neck. The INC zooms in on the and, and we see some scar tissue over the knuckles, similar to DK Murphy's hands, but we also see dark green nail polish on the fingernails. The view doesn't last long, as the hand tightens its grip and Jaime screams and is yanked out of sight.

DKM hesitates to take his eyes off of Matt Folz, but when he glances over his shoulder there is no sign of Jaime, who was presumably hauled around a corner (of which there are many in this hallway) by the owner of the very large hand. He turns back to Folz.*

DKM: Anyways, Folz, my name is Dominic Murphy...

*Folz launches himself forwards, causing more poles to clang, but DK catches him with a big boot to the head, impressing The Chickenshit Heels and knocking Folz to the ground.*

DKM: Hmm, I could lock in a submission hold, causing an injury. I could beat you with clangy poles. I could get a chair and Pillmanize your ankle. I could get a fat guy to jump on your legs. But that would deprive too many people of the opportunity to beat you in the ring. Later, dude.

*DKM walks away*

[BookerShark]

*LD and Stank are still at the bar, and have just watched the encounter between DK Murphy and Matt Folz*

Stank: Fire couldn't have gotten there that quickly.

LD: None of the Darling sisters are that strong.

Stank: Besides, that was a pretty big hand. Maybe it was a guy wearing nail polish?

LD: Could be.

*They pause, but Donny Viper does not interrupt*

Stank: Yeah, the only woman I've met with a hand that big is...

LD: Oh, no. Do not go there!

*LD pulls out his phone and gets busy texting. After a couple of minutes he looks calmer.*

LD: Momma's on a job in Asia. She says to say hi.

[BookerShark]

Kai, Danny Taylor, and DK Murphy are throwing back a few pints together, laughing, having a good ol' time. "Dashing" Victor Deniro and A'isha al-Takriti are seated at another table watch8ing them and seem to be discussing business.

DVD: They're all getting on great. I couldn't have asked for better chemistry.

Aa-T: Kai's like that. He could get along with Kim Jong-Il.

DVD: He's dead, remember?

Aa-T: Of course, and the world's a better place as a result.

They clang glasses, DVD with some scotch or something, A'isha with a glass of red wine.

Aa-T: That being said, Kai is still fiercely independent and has goals...

DVD: And we would never stand in the way of his success. You know that.

Aa-T: Oh, I do. But I'm getting at somethign else if you'll let me finish.

DVD sits back and crosses his arms, basically saying 'please, finish.'

Aa-T: Kai has loyalties. His loyalties to Drink & Destroy are irn-clad, never question that. But there are others.

DVD: Like?

Aa-T: Well, obviously, his brother and his family. His loyalty to my father has never swayed. Likewise with Selena. Then there's his sfriendship with the Darling clan.

DVD: Okay, I get that, but what's your concern?

Aa-T: There may come a time when his actions and loyalties do not match those of Drink & Destroy.

DVD: And...

Aa-T: Will D&D have his back. Or mine?

DVD: I guess it all depends on what it is that happens. Aside from a complete heel turn...

Vic casts an eye towards Kayfabe who's waving her finger.

DVD: I don't believe D&D will ever turn their back on Kai unless he does it first.

A'isha cocks her head and smiles. She then offers her glass again.

*clang*

[BookerShark]

~~~ Chad Madison is seated on the set of The OOWF Today. host Lisa Edelstein is seated across from an empty chair. Cheesy music starts up and Voice Over guy takes it from there ~~~

VOG: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The OOWF Today. Please join our host, Lisa Edelstein as we welcome this week's guest. Onslaught Champion 'Cowboy' Chad Madison!

~~~ Big & Rich starts to play and Chad comes running out and tosses his cowboy hat into the crowd. He takes the Onslaught belt off and sets it on the table between the chairs for the camera to see. ~~~

Lisa: Glad you could join us Chad. Let's get straight to it. This week on MidWeek Mayhem, three relative newcomers to the OOWF face off for a shot at your championship next week. They are Jeremy Punswick .....

~~~ A video montage of Jeremy Punswick flashes on screen. ~~~

Lisa: Amazing Jos .....

~~~ A video montage of Amazing Jos flashes on screen. ~~~

Lisa: and Tommy Wilder

~~~ A video montage of Tommy Wilder flashes on screen. ~~~

Lisa: If you would, let's talk a little about each of them.

Chad: Sure thing. Jeremy Punswick. One of the best technical wrestlers I have faced. He's got a mean streak that rivals that of Jackie Quinn. He got the best of me when we faced off during the Invitational. I'd love to get another chance at him.

Amazing Jos. Probably my favorite wrestler to watch right now. He is cocky, confident, cool and he knows it. Jos and I are very similar in that people want to generalize us as "Cruiserweights" or "High Flyers" and overlook how technically sound we are. He's got the talent to go far around here.

And my buddy Tommy. His comeback to the OOWF has been pretty soild so far. He and I share a lot in common too. Both made our marks on the OOWF as tag team guys, and now are on our own. Tommy was part of wCw, one of the tag teams that helped build this company. Tommy has so much energy in that ring, you really have to make sure you don't get caught up in it, or you'll tire out and he'll put you away.

Lisa: So who do you think will win?

Chad: Hard to say. Jos and Punswick have a serious rivalry going that stems from outside the OOWF. I think they both need to watch Tommy, because he is good enough to take advantage if they focus in on each other.

Lisa: It should be a good one. You mentioned your tag team history. How is Zane's recovery going?

Chad: Really well. He's started working out again, building back up some of the muscle he lost while he was down. The plan is for him to join me on the road again, work off the ring rust, and then get back in the ring as soon as his doctor clears it.

Lisa: Speaking of tag teams. You volunteered to team up with Alexis Darling this week as she challenges LD Williams and Stank for the World Tag Team Championships. IF you win, you will have a difficult decision to make. Keep the Onslaught Championship, or give up half of the World Tag Team Championship.

Chad: Yeah, you know, We'll deal with that when it happens. There will be a lot of options to choose from. For now, I'm going to focus on being ready for my match and getting ready for Stank & LD.

Lisa: And the best of luck to you. That's all the time we have. For Cowboy Chad Madison, Voice Over Guy and all of us at The OOWF Today, we'll see you in Rybnik!

~~~ Fade with some cheesy music. ~~~

[BookerShark]

~~~ And we fade into GM Selena's office. She sits at her desk on her laptop, watching some really bad Harlem Shake videos. suddenly, there is a beep, and we see on the screen... Bridgette ~~~

Bridgette: Hey Shug

GMSa-T: You know I hate when you call me that.

Bridgette: (smiling) Your sweet. You have a pdf file in your inbox. It's a Manager's License application. I just need you to sign it for me.

GMSa-T: You're going to become a manager? And go to ringside? You know that'll be dangerous?

Bridgette: I know all of that hon, and that's why it isn't for me. It's for Zane.

GMSa-T: Zane? Zane Myers?

Bridgette: Yes. He's been so eager to get back on the tour that the Doc agreed to let him come back in a non-wrestling capacity until he is fully cleared.

GMSa-T: I haven't cleared it yet.

Bridgette: That's why I'm calling. Zane will be managing Chad at ringside until he is cleared to compete.

GMSa-T: I'm not so sure about this...

Bridgette: Oh don't you go worrying your pretty little head about it. If there's anyone in this company who won't abuse that power, it's Zane. I mean think, who hates interference more than Zane & Chad? Who has been the victim of outside interference more often than Texpress?

GMSa-T: Hmmm. I guess you're right. So you two are flying in for this week?

Bridgette: Nonono, I refuse to fly. We've chartered a cruise ship and we'll be docking in Spain and then taking a train to Austria. Should be there about the same time everyone else arrives from Poland. Give or take a little bit.

GMSa-T: So how long until Zane can wrestle?

Bridgette: Hard to say. He's eager, you know how these men are, but he'll need to be cleared first. Gotta go. Bye Shug!

~~~ Selena closes her laptop. ~~~

GMSa-T: I hate when she calls me that.

~~~ Fade out ~~~

[BookerShark]

Firewoman walks into the Destroyitarium, which is packed, with the music thumping. Most of the action seems centered around an arm wrestling context between DK Murphy and Danny, but various people are engaged in conversation and there's a mean game of darts happening in a group of the production assistants. Ashley and Spencer have their work cut out for them, but are keeping up well. Fire is still in 'study mode' with glasses and a clipboard, hair in a pony tail. She nods to those greeting her, declines offers of whiskey, and looks around until she finds Kai, who might be a little tipsy.

FW: Good, you're here.

tK: HEY! Ohana.....what's happening?

FW: I have some notes about Folz, Ghosthead, and Moose, that we should go over, with ...where's Danny?

Kai points to the arm wrestling match.

FW: Ah, excellent.

Fire walks over that direction and the Kai follows her. She sits down at the side of the table facing Danny, who is trying to keep his concentration on DK. Their eyes are locked and neither of their arms are budging. Kai follows, standing behind Fire, sipping some sort of cocktail.

FW: Hey Danny....so I spent most of last night reviewing as much video as I could for Ghosthead and Folz. I didn't really need to look at Moose's because I know him so well, but I think I might do that later tonight, in case there's something a more objective viewing sees....maybe we can get together tomorrow after noon and watch together?

Danny blinks and the men's arms move a little. Since Danny doesn't talk, Fire just keeps going.

FW: So as you see here, Ghosthead has a tell before he decides he's going to hit the ropes...I've outlined all his matches here....here....and here....see?

Fire holds the clipboard up to Danny, whose eyes shift to it for a minute and then back to DK, who has managed to move Danny's arm a bit closer to the table. Danny focuses and moves their arms back to center.

FW: And then....Ohmigods, Kai, come around here so you can look too.

*Kai obliges*

FW: Folz THINKS he's being sly, and he has been for YEARS, but look! I just noticed he does THIS right before--

Fire is interrupted as Danny's eyes have darted over to the clipboard she's holding up, breaking his concentration enough for DK Murphy to manage to pin Danny's arm. There are cheers and boos, and money changes hands. Danny rolls his eyes and looks at Fire with irritation.

FW: What?

DDT: ....

FW: Oh, you'll beat him tomorrow...look, this is important.

DDT: ....

FW: Yeah, I know it's Saturday night...so?

Danny throws up his hands and stands up and walks away, shaking his head.

FW: Geez, what's his problem. Kai--

tK: Ohana.....it's a party.....have a drink and relax. If you think about this match too much you'll drive us all as crazy as you are.

FW: ....

tK: C'mon, drink!

FW: Naw...I'm just going to go back to the suites. I got some hot chocolate, and there's this book I've been wanting to read. See ya.

tK: ALOHA~!

Firewoman makes her way through the crowd to the door and leaves.

[BookerShark]

We see DK Murphy exiting the Destroyatarium when Matt Folz hits him with a brass knuckle aided right hook to the ribs. Folz then takes a steel chair, opens it up and sits on Murphy's throat.

MF: Here's the thing, I'm not even particularly upset about your attack. I don't understand it, since we're not feuding at all and I don't give a shit about you, but it's wrestling. Shit happens, I get that. All I want from you is the answer to two questions: Who laid their hands on my girlfriend, and where can I find them? You get me those answers in 24 hours, and we're cool, I won't seek any further retribution against you. If however, you don't get me those answers? Well let's just say that won't end up so well for you.

Folz stands and removes the chair, we hear DK gasping for breath.

MF: 24 hours, or next time I won't ask so nicely. I'm glad we could have this chat.

Folz walks away as we FADE

[BookerShark]

FADE in backstage in Rybnik, Poland. Walking through the Donovan Viper Memorial Hall of Random Encounters, sponsored by new Mountain Dew Kickstart, is Stan Fulton. Being Saturday night, it’s quiet around the OOWF as most are either at house shows or out on the town. Eco is off trying to make Mai like him more and Fulton just wanders. He looks into the Destroyatorium and waves to Spencer and Shotglass.

Further on he comes upon a door leading to the alley outside. It’s slightly ajar and the smell of cooking Pine Cone Party Likker wafts into the Hallway. Fulton decides to stop. He opens the door and Justin Sane and Awesome Bill from Dawsonville both snap their eyes up to the door and freeze like they’ve been busted.

ABFD: “NASCAR Stan! Whew! I thought that was General Motors Selena gonna find us cookin’ up some PCPL.”

JS: “Can I have five bucks?”

Fulton gives Justin a fiver.

SF: “How’ve you been, guys?”

ABFD: “We’ve been great. Fighting Shark Draculas, being Tag Team Champions, DDT champions...”

JS: “I’m the DDT Champion!”

ABFD: “No, I’m the DDT Champion!”

SF: “Actually, somehow, you both hold that singles title. Shame too.”

Justin and Bill look confused. Granted, not too surprising, but...

JS: “What’s wrong with us being champion?”

SF: “Nothing. Forget I said anything.”

Justin seems to concentrate for a second and it’s like that part of the conversation has been deleted.

ABFD: “What’s a shame about us being DDT Ironman Heavy Metal Champion?”

JS: “We’re DDT Ironman Heavy Metal Champions?”

ABFD: “We are. Did you forget?”

JS: “I don’t remember.”

SF: “I’m just saying that with you being DDT Ironman Heavy Metal Champion, you’re never going to get a moments’ peace. It’s a title defended twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. You’re going to have to stop brewing. Hell, you’d better not even drink any PCPL. If you do, the Shark Draculas will be circling trying to get your title when you’re not paying attention.”

ABFD: “NO PCPL! Justin! We have to have Pine Cone Party Likker!”

JS: “I know! What do we do.”

ABFD: “Ellie would know. Where is she?”

JS: “She said something about finding a new dress.”

ABFD: “Well, hell son, there’s more burlap sacks in our room. So what do we do, NASCAR Stan?”

SF: “Don’t know. Maybe lose the title.”

JS: “Can you win it?”

SF: “Sorry, no. I have to concentrate on the World Tag Team Championships.”

ABFD: “Well hell. I thought this here promo was going to end with us losing our title.”

SF: “Nope. Anyway, did you catch the race today?”

ABFD: “That Sam Hornish fella is a helluva driver.”

SF: “Gonna watch the Sprint Cup race tomorrow? You’re welcome to stop by the suite Eco and I have. I’ve got a satellite feed set up for the race. Nine o’clock tomorrow night local time.”

JS: “Can I come?”

SF: “Absolutely. I’ll have snacks, you guys bring the PCPL.”

ABFD: “Weeeehaw! Damn, NASCAR Stan. That’s mighty friendly of you, seeing as how we’re facing each other on Wednesday.”

SF: “Yeah, I’m a nice guy. Well, I’ll see you guys tomorrow night.”

Fulton goes back inside as Banned From Everywhere goes back to distilling. Fulton wanders further down the empty hallways and finds himself near the Darling Luxury Suites. He stops at the door and looks like he wants to knock, but after a moment or two, he moves on. His presence, however, has not gone unnoticed. Firewoman opens the door and looks up and down the hallway, noticing Fulton walking away.

FW: “Stan?”

Fulton turns around.

SF: “Fire. How are you this evening?”

FW: “I’m okay. Was there something you wanted?”

SF: “Just wanted to check to see how you’re doing. I know you’re going through a tough time and I was concerned.”

FW: “That’s very nice of you, but I’m doing just fine. I’m World Heavyweight Champion. What could be better?”

SF: “Well, I’d say having a positive relationship with those around you, but that’s another long conversation we don’t have to have on a Saturday night. Besides, I think you’ve got a house show to get to soon.”

FW: “Oh hell. You’re right. Thanks, Stan!”

Firewoman shuts her door and there’s the sound of stuff being tossed around as Fulton wanders off.

He turns a corner and comes upon the OOWF World Tag Team Champions, Stank and LD Williams, getting ready to head to the house show.

LDW: “So why are you always listed first in these promos where we’re both there?”

S: “Because I’m better than you?”

LDW: “In your dreams.”

They finally turn towards Fulton.

S: “What do you want, Reverend?”

SF: “Those titles you wear.”

LDW: “He’s to the point at least.”

S: “You know that you’ll never take them from us. We’re going to keep them until we decide to give them up. And it won’t be to you.”

SF: “We’ll see.”

Fulton turns to leave and he’s blindsided by Stank and LD who both slam their title belts to the back of Fulton’s head. Fulton goes down and LD and Stank put the boots to him. LD drops to his knees and repeatedly punches Fulton in the forehead until the blood splashes with each punch. Stank is kicking Fulton in the ribs and there’s a distinct crack as at least one rib breaks. They finally back off as Fulton bleeds out his head and probably internally as well.

S: “Yeah, you’re not getting anything, Stan.”

LD and Stank walk off as Fulton has dropped unconscious. They turn the lights off in this area and it may be some time before Fulton’s found.

FADE

[BookerShark]

Eco and Mai are bickering somewhere when Eco catches Stan on OOWF-TV.

Mar 9, 2013 22:40:25 GMT -5 snelson66 said:

SF: “Nope. Anyway, did you catch the race today?”

ABFD: “That Sam Hornish fella is a helluva driver.”

SF: “Gonna watch the Sprint Cup race tomorrow? You’re welcome to stop by the suite Eco and I have. I’ve got a satellite feed set up for the race. Nine o’clock tomorrow night local time.”

JS: “Can I come?”

SF: “Absolutely. I’ll have snacks, you guys bring the PCPL.”

ABFD: “Weeeehaw! Damn, NASCAR Stan. That’s mighty friendly of you, seeing as how we’re facing each other on Wednesday.”

SF: “Yeah, I’m a nice guy. Well, I’ll see you guys tomorrow night.”

Eco: We're watching NASCAR?

Mai: Yeah, Stan mentioned a couple days ago--

Eco: I HATE NASCAR! For fuck's sake, just when I think the most boring thing I have to watch this month is Firewoman versus Moosehead Jack for ninety fucking minutes without any blood, now I'm going to be watching people make left turns for an hour.

Mai: Do you enjoy watching anything?

Eco: Drama! Intrigue! When is something interesting going to happen to me this week?

Fulton turns to leave and he’s blindsided by Stank and LD who both slam their title belts to the back of Fulton’s head. Fulton goes down and LD and Stank put the boots to him. LD drops to his knees and repeatedly punches Fulton in the forehead until the blood splashes with each punch. Stank is kicking Fulton in the ribs and there’s a distinct crack as at least one rib breaks. They finally back off as Fulton bleeds out his head and probably internally as well.

S: “Yeah, you’re not getting anything, Stan.”

LD and Stank walk off as Fulton has dropped unconscious. They turn the lights off in this area and it may be some time before Fulton’s found.

Mai gasps.

Eco: Oh, son of a bitch.

Eco picks up a steel pipe from the ground.

Mai: We have to go take care of him!

Eco: (brandishing the pipe) Which one first? LD or Stank?

Mai: I meant Stan!

Eco: Why would I bash Stan in the head with--oh, wait, I see what you meant.

Eco and Mai rush off to find Stan.

FADE