OOWF Midweek Mayhem (3/13) Live - Rybnik, Poland

[BookerShark]

<Fire is sitting at Kofi Kingston’s Koffee Kingdom staring into her coffee completely lost in thought when Moose sits down across from her>

FW: What do you want?

MHJ: Oh hi Jackie! Good to see you too! Yeah, I am glad you and I can actually have a one on one match that doesn’t involve attempted murder! That will be a nice change of pace! How are you doing these days?

<Fire just looks up and glares at Moose, then goes back to staring at her coffee>

MHJ: What the fuck is wrong with you?

FW: I just……I keep thinking about Alex

MHJ: Oh for fuck’s sake

FW: <glaring at Moose> I miss him, ok asshole?

MHJ: he’s not fucking DEAD. He was in the hospital longer after our match in Blood Pond.

FW: This is…….different. I knew he would come back after that, this time……

MHJ: <looking hard at Fire> you’re serious?

FW: Yes Jackie. Some of us actually care about other human beings

MHJ: <scoffing> The Darlings are fucking cockroaches. You don’t ever get rid of them, they always come back. Alex will be back, at least I hope so

FW: ………you hope so

MHJ: I want to be the one to end his career

FW: Funny.

MHJ: Oh come on Fire, instead of moping, don’t you have to study tape for our match? Maybe call Davin and get a binder? Harass people for tells and weaknesses?

FW: <laughing> for you? No. I got this

MHJ: Oh really

FW: Seriously? Come on Jackie, you may not like to hear it, but these are the facts. I am younger than you, I am in better shape than you, I have put my body through FAR less hell than you, and, I AM a better wrestler than you. The next time you get on some kind of cardio machine will be the first time, while I have a training routine that would make most athletes break down and cry

MHJ: And yet……somehow…..I am a two time grand slam winner.

FW: Ninety minutes Jackie. I don’t know that you can do anything for ninety minutes, let alone outwrestle me

MHJ: I don’t NEED to outwrestle you for ninety minutes……I need to outwrestle you three seconds at a time

FW: I don’t even think you can do that

MHJ: <smirking> We’ll see……that is, if you even MAKE it to the match. Neither Folz or Ghost like you very much

FW: If I recall correctly, Folz doesn’t like YOU very much either, and Danny and Kai sure as HELL don’t like you…..once again, the odds are on my side

MHJ: Refresh my memory for me dear sister……you know how it starts to fade in my old age…….who did I beat for the Onslaught title?

FW: …….

MHJ: Oh yeah, that WAS the Kai, thanks for the reminder. And….well he must have beat me in a rematch……no, no that didn’t happen either. And, I kind of remember facing Danny in the Invitational…..I must have lost that match too…..

FW: FINE! You can wrestle. No one gives you enough credit. It is hard to see it because all you ever want to do is hurt people, but you CAN wrestle, pretty damn well too. There, are you happy?

MHJ: That’s really all I wanted, well, that and your title

FW: You’ll get the compliment. The title you will get over my dead body

MHJ: <getting to his feet to leave> If that’s how you want it……so be it

<Moose starts to walk away, then stops and looks back at Fire>

MHJ: You know……..if he doesn’t come back…..the Saints of Sinners would be a nice fit…..

FW: <staring at Moose> He’ll be back

MHJ: Suit yourself

<Moose walks off and Fire sips her coffee, then realizes it is cold and throws it away and heads down the hall>

[BookerShark]

We see DK Murphy heading towards the Destroyatarium when a Singapore Cane hits him perfectly in the spine, sending him down instantly. Matt Folz steps into view.

MF: I'm disapointed in you Dominic. You don't call. You don't write. You don't stop by and see me. We had an agreement, did we not? I gave you 24 hours to give me the name of who attacked Jaime, and here we are 24 hours later and still nothing. Now, I'm a generous guy, so I'm willing to over look this and give you one more shot. Who was it, and where can I find them?

DK: .....

MF: Your loyalty is admirable, I mean that. In this case, it's also very fucking stupid. Now I'm really begining to lose my patience, so here's your final chance. Answer my questions and I'm done with you.

DK starts to make his way back to his feet and just laughs.

MF: So be it then...

Folz swings and hits DK so hard in the head that you can see the Singapore Cane literally shattering in half.

MF: Remember, you brought this all on yourself. And there was one part of your attack that did slightly annoy me...

Folz takes 2 chairs and slides one under DK's head.

MF: .... If you have a guy down, make fucking SURE he dosen't get up.

Folz takes the other chair and hits a one man Conchairto.

We see The Kai and Danny Taylor running out of the Destroyatarium to see what the commotion is. They see DK unconcious and immeadiately turn and start to move toward Folz.

MF: Now, if you want to start something, I'm not going to run from you. But two things: 1. He brought this on himself, and 2. It looks like you really should take your boy here to the hospital, I'm fairly sure he has a concussion.

Danny and The Kai both glare at Folz before turning their attention to their fallen comrade, Folz walks away smiling as we FADE

[BookerShark]

*Same hallway*

As Folz backs away making sure to keep an eye on Kai and Danny Taylor to confirm they don't come after him, he doesn't notice the person stepping into his path behind him. Folz bumps into the person and takes a wild swing but the figure ducks under and pulls a collapsible baton out of their sleeve and extends it in one fluid motion before taking a mighty swing at Folz' knee. He drops like a brick as he tries to scramble away and/or back to his feet. The figure lashes out with another shot to the knee that elicits a big groan from Folz. The figure walks around and winds up behind Matt and drops down to the ground with him placing the baton across his throat.

Lexie: First, my brother. Now, my friends. You really are stupid Matt.

MF: *gurgling* Gonna kill...

Lexie: *pulling back further* Don't try to talk. I'm not going to hurt you too much, but I want you to understand the new phrase du jour around here, Matty. Actions have consequences. Keep attacking my friends, my family and I won't make the same mistake you did with Alex. I will END YOU. And you won't see it coming.

Lexie lashes out with one final strike across the back of Folz head.

Lexie: Sleep tight asshole.

Lexie makes her way over to the members of Drink & Destroy as they help DK to his feet. Danny stares at Lexie for a moment before nodding. Kai puts his arm around DK and reaches out with his other hand to grab Lexie's hand.

The Kai: The Kai will be buying Lexie a drink, but remind The Kai to stay on Lexie's good side.

Lexie: Lead the way. I have to talk to Vic anyway.

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

Wilder is standing in front of the OOWF Banner

"Stay the fuck outta the way Tommy..."

Interesting. Two opponents next week, both telling me the same thing.

"Stay the fuck outta the way."

Now, I know Jos and Punswick don't like each other. Something about the LBCW title. That's cool - they both want the title, and both hate the idea of the other guy holding it. I can dig it.

BUT

Tommy turns and looks at the OOWF Banner.

Yup. Thought so. THIS isn't LBCW. This is the OOWF, dudes. 4th match since I came back - and it is for a chance at the ONSLAUGHT Title. Not the LBCW belt.

I don't care about the LBCW Belt. Honestly, I don't care about the LBCW - I'm sure it is a terrific company, really. But I'm in the OOWF. Always have been, always will be. I care about that Onslaught Title shot. The OOWF Onslaught title.

So tell you what - you two go take your bromance back to LBCW and settle things. Tear each other apart, arm wrestle, drink shots, play cards, go see a chick flick... whatever gets your nollie on.

I want the OOWF Title shot.

"Stay the fuck outta the way Tommy?"

Don't think so.

In this OOWF match, this OOWF wrestler is gonna be RIGHT in your way.


For at least 3 seconds. 30, if you count hang time.


Lets get ready to fly......

[BookerShark]

*Matt Folz makes his way back to his hotel room, to find Jaime, blindfolded and tied up but otherwise intact. He unties her.*

MF: What the hell happened to you?

JM: No idea; didn't see a thing.

*Folz notes an envelope on the table in the room and opens it. Conveniently for OOWF-TV viewers, he reads the enclosed note aloud.*

MF: "Dominic didn't set this up, he didn't even know i was around, but now you have even more people targeting you."

[BookerShark]

*It's a cold, overcast, day as Ghosthead roams the streets of Rybnik Poland. Shannon walks by his side, her arm interlaced with his, as she views promos on her smartphone in her free hand. Ghosthead suddenly slows to a halt and stares at the Basilica of St. Anthony seemingly lost in thought. Shannon unlocks her arm, finishing the last of the promos, before she looks up at Ghosthead. She then follows the gaze of her husband.*

Shannon - Nice architecture.

*Ghosthead turns his head and looks down at his wife.*

Ghost - Something is amiss.

Shannon - Meaning?

*Ghosthead pulls his hands out the pockets of his long, black, overcoat. He turns around slowly and spies, walking up behind them, a figure in a black robe wearing a hood hiding their identity. Shannon turns as well, staring into the shadow of the hood.*

Ghost - Speak priest.

*The man pulls back the hood and it is indeed a priest, identifiable by his collar. He is old, his skin very pale, his features gaunt. Shannon leans toward her husband and speaks under her breath.*

Shannon - There's a whole Catholic element to this Blood Moon thing that we have clearly overlooked, Jared.

Ghost - We don't know if that is what this is.

*The priest walks closer and stands within feet of Ghosthead and his wife. He begins to speak in a thick Polish accent.*

Priest - You have failed to break the bond of Dadzbog and Marzanna. The New Age has not come.

Ghost - *sigh* Okay.

*Shannon gives Ghosthead a look that asks that she handle this.*

Shannon - We don't know what you're talking about.

Priest - Do not attempt to deceive me, child.

Ghost - Nice job, wife. Keep at it.

*Shannon shoots her husband a nasty look suggesting he shut up.*

Shannon - Truly Father. We are unfamiliar with the entities for which you speak.

Priest - Familiar, or not, The Fold demand your blood.

*The priest pulls out a sword from beneath his robe engraved with unrecognizable markings and a blue gemstone set in its hilt.*

Shannon - Holy shit.

Ghost - Enough! Listen priest, or whoever it is you're pretending to be. Any service to the Blood Moon on my part is concluded. My blood? You have already taken much of me. I have nothing left for you people, yet you follow me around the world wanting more still. I will not allow this. I am released from the prophecy. That much is clear.

Priest - You are released... when we have your li-

*The priest's words are cut off when he is spun around and CHOKESLAMED onto the cold, unforgiving, asphalt by Stank! Ghosthead and Shannon stare down at the victim as he rolls over on his side and moans in pain. Stank makes the sign of the cross.*

Stank - God forgive me.

Ghost - God? You'll be lucky if mom forgives you when she finds out.

Stank - Red, you know as well as I do, that mom refuses to watch the OOWF.

Ghost - Sure... but Simone is always telling on me.

Stank - Our baby sister's been a tattletale since she first learned how to speak.

Ghost - Hmmph... I'd say even before that.

*The brothers share an, all too rare, laugh together. LD Williams walks onto the scene and spies the priest writhing on the the street, his sword lying nearby.*

LDW - Holy crap. What did I miss?

Stank - Red was about to get stabbed by a sword.

Ghost - I WASN'T about to get stabbed by a sword.

Stank - Looked like it to me.

Shannon - Me too.

Ghost - Thanks wife.

Shannon - What? He clearly meant too.

Ghost - I had it under control.

Stank - Right.

Ghost - I didn't ask for, or need, your help, Lucas.

Stank - So I was supposed to just stand by and watch an old priest slice away at my family?

Ghost - I thought he was just going to stab me?

Stank - What the fuck ever, Red. Why can't you simply say thank you?

Ghost - For what? Interfering where you were not needed?

Stank - You are SUCH a rectum.

Ghost - And you are a meddler.

Stank - Ah fuck you, man. Seriously. Next time I'll just let whoever gut you.

Ghost - Please see that you do.

Stank - Christ. Let's go Billy Dee.

LDW - You know, I heard a lot of words... and I still know nothing.

*Stank starts to explain as best he can while he and LD Williams walk off. Shannon stares after them as Ghosthead walks over and retrieves the sword. By this time, they have begun to catch the eyes of a few of the locals. Shannon quickly intercepts.*

Shannon - Nothing to see here folks! It's all part of the show! Be sure to catch more OOWF action Wednesday at Midweek Mayhem just a couple of blocks from here at the Rybnik Plaza... you know... near the... nuclear power plant... uh... get your tickets before they sell out!

*A child, who apparently understands English, yells out excitedly about the OOWF, which draws the attention of most of the crowd. Some of them begin to smile and applaud. Shannon nods and smiles back, then grabs her husband by his arm as he conceals the sword within his coat and allows his wife to drag him away from the scene.*

Shannon - You know you could be nicer to your brother.

Ghost - Ours is a complicated relationship.

Shannon - Oh I know... believe me.

Ghost - Do not dwell on it further.

Shannon - For the sake of your match... I won't. You don't need anymore distractions. I was watching promos before that little... incident back there. You'll be happy to know that Folz has his girlfriend back. That should free him to focus on the match.

Ghost - I wasn't particularly concerned on that point. The kidnapping provided Folz with some motivation to destroy DK Murphy's colleagues in Drink and Destroy either way.

Shannon - Neither Murphy, or anyone else in Drink & Destroy had anything to do with Jamie McAllister's kidnapping, apparently.

Ghost - Hmm..

Shannon - Anyway... Moose seems singularly focused on beating his sister at every turn.

Ghost - Which, in a way, can be its own distraction, but I have a feeling not in this case. Moosehead Jack provides a kind of recklessness that could give us an edge.

Shannon - Yes... but it could also cost you guys the match.

Ghost - But not necessarily... a win. Matt Folz, Moosehead Jack, and I all desire Lisa Darling's title. This match could make that desire a reality... for one of us.

*Shannon smiles as the two continue their walk and the camera fades.*

[BookerShark]

<As they get further down the road and turn down an alley, they spot Moose coming out of the back door of some dive counting a wad of money. Moose has fresh cuts on his face, and a black eye, but otherwise seems no worse for the wear. He spots Ghost and Shannon>

MHJ: If you want to make some quick money......

GH: No thank you. Fight clubs are not my thing

MHJ: Suit yourself......look, Ghost.....I know you haven't had a whole lot of luck in six man matches lately, with Power and Glory disappearing right before the match, and Jos and Punswick clearly not being on the same page.......just want you to know that it is about more than Firewoman

GH: So you say......yet, that is clearly your focus

MHJ: No question, I WILL win that title, but that is the 31st. Wednesday, it is me, you and Folz against Fire, Kai and Danny. Danny and Kai will no doubt protect Alexis after she jumped Folz for no fucking reason.......just like those goddamn Darlings.....

GH: Are you suggesting we run protection for Folz?

MHJ: No......Folz is an asshole, and normally I wouldn't give the slightest shit that he gets jumped. But this week, he is our partner, and that shit won't fly. If I see Alexis in the hall, she WILL be dealt with, and if Danny and Kai want to throw down, so be it.

GH: Folz DID attack DK.....

MHJ: After DK jumped him, AND had someone snatch up Jamie

GH: Murphy claims he has no idea who did that

MHJ: Bullshit. See, its this kind of hypocritical bullshit.....I get attacked by Drink & Destroy because Power and Glory attack Spencer, even though I had nothing to fucking do with it, but then someone close to Murphy snatches up Jamie and they sit back, it's cool. Fucking white hat hypocrites

GH: with all due respect.......I don't care one bit about all that. I have my own agenda......

MHJ: And you also have your Jamie

<Ghost just gives Moose a look>

MHJ: I get you are a lone wolf, and that's all well and good, but there are strength in numbers......

GH: I don't need numbers....

MHJ: Suit yourself. If you can bury the hatchet, the Saints.....

GH: I will be fine

MHJ: Whatever. You see LD and Stank?

GH: They were headed toward the Bowery section of town

MHJ: Perfect.

<Moose turns and walks off, Shannon just looks at Ghost, he finally notices her stare>

GH: What?

S: If some freak tries to grab me up.....

GH: They will die. You worry too much wife

<Ghost and Shannon head on and we fade>

[BookerShark]

Eco is in the hospital waiting room when Mai comes out.

Eco: Well?

Mai: Stan will be fine. I don't want him wrestling this week, but I don't expect you to persuade him of that. Honestly, I think one of the belt shots just knocked him loopy, otherwise he probably could have fought back more.

Eco: Loopy. Like a concussion.

Mai: ...Well, when you don't say it U-fay-mistically, it sounds bad.

Eco: It's pronounced euphemistically.

Mai: Really? I've never actually heard anyone say it.

Eco: Another reason you should actually go to college instead of just teaching yourself. I'll be back later.

Eco turns around to head out.

Mai: I'm sorry, where are you going?

Eco: Just have some business.

Mai: With Stank and LD?

Eco: They'll be by the Bowery section.

Mai: And how do you know that?

Eco: Someone mentioned it to me...

Mai: (taking out iPhone) Like Moose? On OOWF-TV? Because he's heading to meet them?

Eco: ...Yeah.

Mai: You're going to go confront Stank, LD, and Moose. Well, crazy brother, you're going to need me to come. Who's your third?

Eco: You just stay here with Stan.

Mai: Who are you bringing?

Eco: No one. They'll, um...I think they'll listen to what I have to say.

Mai's eyes flash a look of recognition as Eco avoids her glance.

Mai: Absolutely fucking not.

Eco: What?

Mai: Give it to me right now.

Eco: I'm not going to use--

Mai: Junichiro Muyo, I swear to you, I will call the police and have you arrested for your own good the second you walk out this door if you don't give it to me right now.

Eco glares at Mai, but reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a small handgun, giving it to Mai. Eco turns around and walks.

Mai: Where are you going?

Eco: To get a backup plan.

Mai sighs, taking out her phone and sending a text message. The ninja cameraman uses his incredible zoom to focus in.

"Matt-- I know we haven't talked in a while. Jaime was always very kind to me when I was in the New Guard, even if we didn't "get" each other. I'm not going to jump in swinging on this one, but if she wants a place to stay safe, let me know, okay?
-Mai"

FADE

[BookerShark]

*DK Murphy is sitting on a gurney in the local emergency room, with the other members of Drink & Destroy looking on with concern, when several doctors and nurses walk in. They speak to each other in Polish, and then the senior doctor steps forward*

Doctor: We scanned your head and we found nothing! Haha, I make joke!

DKM: Thanks, doc, that's very funny, so I can go?

Doctor: I did internship in your America. That is why my English is so well.

DVD: Indeed it is doctor! Is there anything we should know?

DKM: Here it comes, about the skull!

*Everyone looks at him*

Doctor: But yes! It is remarkably thick!I noticed your name, it is from the Irish, yes? Are your family from County Kerry, by anymore chance?

DKM: I get this every time I get a cat scan

[BookerShark]

*DK Murphy is signing the paperwork to check out of the emergency room, while the rest of Drink & Destroy look on*

The Kai: The Kai would be happy to go beat Matt Folz's candy ass back to Heartbreak Hotel!

DKM: I would rather that you and Danny get ready to beat him and his partners in the ring, and represent Drink & Destroy with Fire. Besides, I do understand his reaction to his girlfriend getting kidnapped, which was not part of my plan.

*DDT looks puzzled*

DKM: I did not involve you guys, because it wasn't a priority for our crew right now. I wanted to do that on my own. I had not banked on being followed.

DVD: I hate to sound like I agree with Folz, or Moose for that matter, but do you really not know who that was?

DKM: At the time, no. Now, I am pretty sure

[BookerShark]

**Cut to an interview from earlier in the day. SFJ#47 is with OOWF Tag Team Champions Stank and L.D. Williams.**

SFJ#47: “Gentlemen, this week you defend your championships against Alexis Darling and…well that appears to be uncertain.”

S: “Doesn’t matter.”

SFJ#47: “But how can you prepare if you don’t know who you’re facing?”

LDW: “Alexis Darling is a tough competitor. She is just as talented and, in my opinion, more focused than her brother. That said, she can team with Alex, Chad, Kai, Fire, or a platoon of marines, and the end result will be the same.”

S: “Because regardless of who’s in her corner, Alexis will be facing the absolute best in the world. Us.”

LDW: No flash. No symbols. No fancy costumes. No moons rising or winters coming. Just the two best wrestlers this company has ever seen. I know Alexis will bring her best, but I guarantee it won‘t be nearly enough.”

S: “Don‘t believe us? Don‘t matter. Stank and L.D. Williams.”

LDW: “That’s all you need to know.”

<fade>

[BookerShark]

We see Matt Folz and Jaime McAllister sitting in their locker room.

MF: Let's review what's happened this week. Wednesday night, as I'm walking out to my car, I get attacked by Alexis Darling. And why? What did I do to deserve that? I had the gall to beat her brother in a wrestling match, that's it.

Then this weekend, I get attacked by DK Murphy for no fucking reason whatsoever. In the process of that attack my girlfriend, who has never once attacked anyone backstage, who has never once interfered in one of my matches, who has never even once come down to ringside during one of my matches, gets kidnapped. After I attack DK, who to remind you attacked me first and KIDNAPPED MY GIRLFRIEND, that hypocritical bitch Alexis Darling once again sticks her nose where it didn't belong and I end up with 4 stitches in the back of my head. Then, THEN she somehow keeps a straight face as she said to me "Actions have consequences"

Actions have consequences? Tell me Alexis, what did I do that was so horrible this week? If a crazy bitch attacks me in the parking lot because I did nothing more than kick her brother's ass in a legal wrestling match, am I not supposed to defend myself? If an innocent woman who's the only person I care about in this company gets kidnapped, am I not supposed to do everything in my power to find out where she is? Look, I'll be the first to admit I'm an asshole who wouldn't piss on any other competitor in this company if they were on fire. But if you're trying to clean up the OOWF, I'm a hell of a long way down the list of people you should be looking at.

Now, to my partner's this week, Moose and Ghosthead. I like both of you gentlemen probably less than you like me. But that's personal, this Wednesday is business, neither of you have to worry about me this week.

Fade

[BookerShark]

*Amazing Jos is at customs with luggage in hand



Jos: Tommy Wilder, let me get one thing clear, my fight isn't for LBCW or even the LBCW Heavyweight Title. My fight is with Punswick.

The match includes you, but you are but a mere distraction.

You can get in my grill all you want, but that's not gonna end pretty for you. Honestly, I like you, I dig the whole "Shaka Bro" thing and the fearlessness you bring. Let me put it in terms you might understand. If you get in my bubble when i'm kicking in Punswick's face, you're gonna have a bad time. You break up a submission when i'm about to tear off Punswicks knee, you're gonna have a bad time. You get on that top turnbuckle and think you're gonna land something "gnarly", you're gonna have a bad time, bro.

Long story short, you get caught in the cross hairs, you're gonna get hurt. Obviously I wanna hurt Puns, but winning the Onslaught title shot is the cherry on top! Last thing I need is some douche who likes Mountain Dew effing things up. BTW, Root Beer is where it's at, ho!

Tommy Boy, like I said, it's bad for your health to get in mine or Punswick's way. You do, and you're gonna have a bad time...


OOC: Maybe this will explain things a little better?

[BookerShark]

FADE back in to the hospital room where Stan Fulton is sitting up pulling IVs out of his arm. The hospital gown is, shall we say, not really doing it’s job. What? Stan’s a big dude. You ever try to wear one of those when you’re a bit bigger than their largest size?

Anway, Mai comes back in the room carrying the gun.

SF: “Uh, Mai.”

MM: “Stan. Lay back down and stay there.”

SF: “Or you’ll shoot me?”

Mai finally realizes that she’s packing heat. She pops the clip, clears the chamber and puts that round back in the clip. Both the clip and the gun go into her pocket.

MM: “Sorry. Juni was going to take things into his own hands for the attack on you.”

SF: “Yeah, well I have to help take things in hand now.”

MM: “You’re in no condition.”

SF: “Mai, I love you like a sister. Frankly, for all intents and purposes you are my sister. But I’m going to do this. I’m not going to sit meekly by and turn the other cheek this time. Judges 15:7. “Samson said to them, ‘Since you’ve acted like this, I swear that I won’t stop until I get my revenge on you.’” This has escalated, Mai. It’s on.”

Mai sighs audibly.

MM: “Fine. But I’m coming with you. You’re not exactly in perfect condition.”

SF: “Knowing how pointless it is to argue with a Muyo, you can come along. Let’s go find Juni. Time for some revalations.”

FADE

[BookerShark]

Wilder is watching a monitor of Jos' promo....

Huh.

I got a threat of bodily harm, told I am a 'mere disctraction', Get called a douche, AND ON TOP OF IT ALL, my favorite sports drink gets dissed?

Yup. THAT'LL make me back off, Josie. For sure.

Absolutely.

Got news for you guys - I've hurricarana'd a guy off a ladder ON TOP of a 30 foot scaffold. I've fought Moosehead Jack on a couple of occasions. I've been electrocuted. I've gone drinking with the orgininal Drink and Destroy, loaded Rick Flair up on Jolt and Red Bull, shared a locker room with Gatorbait, and drove a few hundred miles with a tag team partner that only listened to the NHL network.

I don't do back off. You two dopes keep thinking I'm not a factor here.... I'll prove you wrong. In a BIG way.

[BookerShark]

Puns: So you're fucking stupid, eh, Wilder?

What you need to do is stay the fuck out of the way. No amount of bragging about the stupid shit you've done, or the dumb ass radio stations you've listened to will change the fact that this match isn't about you. It's about me and that God damned, fucking pussy, piece of shit faux champion Jos. And yes, this isn't Lbcw. Thanks for pointing that out, ass hat. This isn't about the Lbcw championship, although that's one of my goals.

This is about getting that first shot as that Pussy ass Jos. He finally doesn't have someone keeping his bitch ass away from me here like he does over in Lbcw, in Billy Corgan. I've asked for a match with Jos so many times in my year and three months there and have been told no. I'm here just over a month and I've got that fuck in a match. This match isn't about you Tommy, so butt the fuck out.

I don't honestly give half a fuck about the onslaught title. I care about hurting Jos. He's got a big ass mouth, and as much shit as he's talked on me over the last year, it's about time I get a chance to shut him up.

Jos. I'm coming straight for you. I don't need any element of surprise this time. I'm gonna fuck you up like a heart attack.

[BookerShark]

Firewoman, Dynamite Danny Taylor, and the Kai are seated at a table for autograph signings. Directly across from them, in kind of a V shape setting with a space in between, we see their opponents for this evening, Matt Folz, Ghosthead, and Moosehead Jack, doing the same thing. We pick up some fan conversation.

Fan1: Wow, this is great! The world champion!!

Fan2: I know! At those other promos if you go to a meet and greet autograph signing you get the jobber squad. OOWF is the best.

Of course it is. Anyway, they're signing and chatting and posing for pictures, even Moose and Ghosthead, although they scowl rather than smile. Lucky is keeping a very close eye on things.

L: Fire, do you need a break? I know you're sleep has been worse than usual since--

FW: Lucky, I am fine. Go mother someone else.

At that point, a paper wad comes flying their direction landing squarely in front of Fire. She looks the direction it came from and Moose smiles and does a little finger wave. Fire scowls and then goes back to smiling for the next person in line. This continues for a while, until there's a bit of a break, although there are still fans around. Moose throws another one, and this one hits Fire in the nose. This time she stands up, and her clangy metal chair falls loudly behind her.

FW: what is your problem?

MHJ: Can't I say hi to my sister?

FW: Paperwads? How old are you?

MHJ: Aw, did it break your nose? No, wait, that's Alex....

Fire gathers all the paperwads up and walks over to the table. We see there is a chalk line on the floor and Fire stands just to her side of it.

MF: Hey! You can't come over here!

tK: She's on her side of the line.

GH: I cannot believe Ms. al-Takriti actually drew a chalk line down the center of the room to keep us apart.

MHJ: Not all of us. Just me and her. C'mon Fire. Cross the line. I DARE you.

FW: You first.

Firewoman throws all the paperwads back at Moose, although some of them do hit Ghosthead and Folz.

MF: Hey!

Without warning, the three of them crunch up ALL the paper they have and begin lobbing it towards Fire, Kai, and DDT. They are taken aback at first, and then start to retaliate. Fans scatter, although some try to grab assorted paperwads as souvenirs, to hopefully be signed later. Paper begins to lack its emphasis, so they start throwing pens, markers, and the like. One gets really close to the Kai's eyes, but since he's wearing sunglasses inside, he's protected.

tK: HEY! You almost took out the People's eye!!!

Things continue to deteriorate, with security mostly just trying to keep fans from getting involved. Fire picks up a stapler (because you need those at autograph signings) and goes to hurl it at Moose, but with her follow through, she crosses the chalk line.

Everyone freezes.

Moose smiles.

MHJ: Fair. Game.

Moose picks up one of the clangy steel chairs and swings for the fences, nailing Fire in the back and side.

MHJ: Oh RIGHT! Your weak spot is the ribs. I keep getting you and Alex confused that way.

If he was going to continue his taunting he can't because the Kai has grabbed his own chair and swings for Moose, connecting. Ghosthead grabs one and now the four of them have a pier four brawl with dueling steel chairs. Meanwhile, Folz and Danny look around a bit and begin clearing off the tables, before joining the brawl. It's literally a free-for-all with chairs and fists flying, and fans cheering.

GM the Selena arrives on the scene, but no one cares.

Finally we have a couple of 2 on 1s break out. Fire has grabbed her championship belt and is using it as a weapon, however she has to contend with both Folz and Ghosthead. Meanwhile Danny and Kai have Moose isolated. Fire whaps Folz upside the head with her belt.

FW: THAT is the closest you're getting to this championship while I hold it!

But she's cut short as Folz recovers and both he and Ghosthead grab an arm, spin her around, reposition themselves and DDT THROUGH THE TABLE! At the exact same time that Danny and Kai put Moose through with a POWER SLAM THROUGH THE TABLE!

The crowd cheers. Wrestlers are down, squirming in the wreckage of what was one a LOVELY autograph session site. GM the Selena steps between the two piles and holds open her arms.

GMtSa-T: ENOUGH!

Everyone falls silent.

GMtSa-T: I like random violence as much as the next person, but THERE ARE FANS HERE! If one of them gets hurt we are OUT OF A JOB! All of you. Pick yourselves up and go to your rooms and...just.....THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE....I dunno.....

Selena wanders away mumbling. Shannon, Lucky, Jamie and others help people to their feet, and they walk away glaring at each other.

L: Really...he's been gone less than a week and--

FW: Shut up.

FAAAAAAAAAAAADE

edited because Danny doesn't use weapons. Sorry Doug!

[BookerShark]

*The OOWF World Tag Champions are sitting in catering, enjoying their breakfast and engaging in some strategery when Stank has a question.*

Stank - Why did we do that?

LDW - Do what?

Stank - Stomp the shit out of Stan Fulton the other day.

LDW - I don't know... cause it was funny?

Stank - HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

LDW - HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Stank - HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

LDW - HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Stank - HA! Seriously though. That shit was foul.

LDW - I don't know, Lucas. Ask Snels. He's the one that wrote the promo.


Kayfabe - HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Seriously... don't.


LDW - Sorry. We're heels Lucas. We can't be the Saints of Sinners without a little sin.

Stank - I suppose you're right.

LDW - Besides... it was fun though, right?

Stank - HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

LDW - HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!


Ecosystem - HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!


Stank - HA! HA! HA! Whoa! What are you doing here?

Eco - Well I was going to shoot the both of you, but my sister took my gun.

Stank - Wait! Wait! Wait..... You were going to SHOOT us?

LDW - Please tell me it was a water gun?

Stank - Are you fucking kidding me, Juni?

Eco - No I'm not fucking kidding you, LUCAS!

*Stank suddenly rises to his feet and flips over the table! An errant table leg clips Ecosystem on his head and knocks him to the floor! Stank and LD both proceed to stomp the shit out of him.*

Stank - There is *STOMP* a national killing spree *STOMP* that continues unabated in my nation *STOMP* THIS *STOMP* is why Obama has *STOMP* submitted reasonable *STOMP* gun control proposals! *STOMP*

Eco - If you *OW!* have gun control *OW!* only outlaws *OW! OW!* will have guns! *OW!*

LDW - That makes no sense! *STOMP!*

Eco - *OW!* I bought that gun*OW!* for recreational use! *OW!* DAMN IT THAT HURT! *OW!*

Stank - It's supposed to! *STOMP*

Eco - Why are you taking this out on me?? *OW!* The U.S. isn't the only *OW* country with unrestricted gun *OW! OW!* ownership!

LDW - Not Poland!

Stank - Yeah! YEMEN!

Eco - I like Yemen! I have a country home there! *OW!*

Stank - Listen, Juni... I'm not anti-gun ownership per se but the fact that someone sold you a gun without doing a comprehensive background check... should tell you something. And I ain't speaking from some sort of cultural distaste for guns. I just feel that personal habits have no place in a rational policy discussion. *STOMP!*

Eco - ... *OW!* ... *OW!* ... That seems reasonable. *OW!*

LDW - As reasonable as one can be while stomping you to death? *STOMP!*

Eco - *OW!* Mai did good giving you that medal, Lucas! *OW!*

Stank - Thanks, Juni! *STOMP* See that, Billy Dee? *STOMP* I did deserve that medal!

LDW - What you deserve is *OW!*

Stank - OW?

*Stan Fulton has arrived and knocked LD Williams loopy with his trusty AXEHANDLE! He turns on Stank and SMACKS him upside his head dropping the big man to the floor! Stan hits LD Williams once more for good measure. He then walks over to help Mai bring his brother to his feet. The two of them help Eco and then drag him away. LD Williams crawls over to Stank.*

LDW - Any... comments... on.... axe handle policy?

Stank - ... ....

LDW - ...

Stank - ... the U.S. has... more axe handles per capita than... any other nation in... the world.

LDW - ...

Stank - ... We also have.. the highest... axe handle... homicide rate...

LDW - What.. like two?

Stank - That's pretty high.

LDW - Canada alone... has like twelve.

Stank - It's not a competition LD.

LDW - No. I'm tired of you guys shitting on Canadian accomplishments.

Stank - Who's shi-?

LDW - No... Let us have this.

Stank -

LDW -

Stank - Fine gotdammit. You guys can have the highest axe-handle homicide rate, fuck. You happy?

LDW - Ma will be so proud.

Fade

[BookerShark]

Puns, you're 1/2 right.

Whatever is going on between you and Jos doesn't involve me. I agree! Heck, like I said before, you two dudes want to turn each other into 50 yards of road rash, that's your thing, man.

I REALLY DON'T CARE.

But, I am booked in a match with an Onslaught Championship shot on the line. It wouldn't matter who the other two guys are. You, Jos, Moosehead, Chad, Ric Flair, The Great Muta, Kevin Nash and the Finger of Doom, Boogyman.... I'm going in with one thing in mind.

Winning.

Whatever you two want to do to each other before, or after that fact? <Shrug>

That's not my damage, man.

Unless you make it that way.

Your choice.

[BookerShark]

<Moose is sitting in the Saints of Sinners locker room when LD and Stank walk in>

Sta: You seriously got sent to your room?

MHJ: Shut up. Stupid Selena.......power has gone to her head, I'll tell you that

Sta: You. Got. Sent. To. Your. Room. Did you get grounded too?

MHJ: Any particular reason you are not shutting up yet?

LD: Hey Moose, look what I can do <LD steps out of the room> Freedom <LD steps back into the room> You. <LD steps back out of the room> Freedom. <LD steps back into the room> You. <LD steps back out of the room, and Selena is standing there with her arms crossed>

GMS: You two nearly stomped Eco to death

Sta: So?

GMS: So? Not on my watch <she points into the room and LD walks in, then he and Stank both look at Selena>

LD: but.....

GMS: No buts. You stay in here and think about what you did. You can come out for the matches.

<She slams the door and leaves the three of them standing there>

MHJ: how's that freedom now Billy Dee?

LDW: Shut up

[BookerShark]

Back at the Destroyitarium, Fire is SITTING~! with the Kai and Danny. No drinking...we have matches in like an hour and a half. GM the Selena comes in.

GMtS: I thought I told you guys to go to your rooms!

Danny moves his arms around to indicate that he is, indeed, in his room. Kai nods.

GMtS: Okay, you guys are fine, but YOU! You do not live here.

FW: So?

GMtS: So, you need to go back to the suites.

FW: *looking at her phone* Preshow meeting starts in like 10 minutes?

GMtS: Well.....okay...but AFTER the show.....back to your room. Your REAL room. All of you.

Selena turns and storms out muttering something about 'fans' and 'brawls' and 'lawsuits.' Fire, Danny, and Kai look at each other.

tK: Was the Kai just grounded?

FW: I think we all were.

Danny shrugs.

faaaaaaaaaaaaade

[BookerShark]

Wilder is skating up and down the hall pre-show....

GMtS: YOU! WILDER!

TW: Huh? Yeah boss-lady?

GMtS: ONE - Do. NOT. CALL. ME. BOSS-LADY. TWO - Ix-nay on the skate crap before the show!

GMtS walks down the hallway....

TW (Mutters) - SKateboarding is NOT a crime, Boss-lady...

GMtS - WHAT WAS THAT???

TW - Nothing! Nothing at all! I.... OK, I'll go to my room.

GMtS - Damn straight.

[BookerShark]

OOWF Midwek Mayhem
Live from Rybnik, Poland
March 13, 2013


Onslaught Title Shot on the Line
Amazing Jos vs. Tommy Wilder vs. Jeremy Punswick

All three men are introduced and Jos immeadiately heads for Punswick, but Puns quickly slides out of the ring. As Jos glares down at Puns, Wilder shrugs and quickly rolls him up from behind for a quick two count. Both men quickly get back to their feet as Punswick looks on from outside. For the next few minutes, Wilder uses his tremendous speed advantage to take control of Jos. Wilder hits a standing hurricanrana and goes for the pin, only to be broken up by Puns, who quickly slides out of the ring again. Top rope knee drop. and again Puns breaks up the count. Exploder suplex, another count broken up by Puns. Wilder's finally had enough of this and takes out Puns with a baseball slide as Puns again exits the ring. Wilder slides back into the ring, runs up to the top rope and hits a beautiful missle dropkick on Puns on the outside. Wilder slides back into the ring, but now Jos is recovered and nails Wilder with an enzuguri. Puns clears the cobwebs, runs back in and clips Jos from behind, then stomps his knee viciously before throwing him over the top rope. Puns follows that up by ramming Jos's head right into the ringpost.


Puns officially joins the match for the first time as he starts beating the hell out of Wilder, hitting him with hard elbow strikes and chops, while being careful to keep an eye on Jos on the outside. Northern lights suplex gets a very close two count, Wilder's just able to roll his shoulder at the last second. German suplex throws Wilder halfway across the ring. Puns sees Jos starting to crawl back up to the apron and nails him with a running dropkick to the knee that takes sends him back down to the floor. Bridging German Suplex gets another two count for Puns. Puns picks up Wilder and hits a shoulderbreaker, before locking in a technically perfect Fujiwara armbar. Wilder's face is a mask of pain as Puns rears back, threatening to dislocate Wilder's shoulder. Wilder reaches out and juuuuuust barely gets his foot on the bottom rope. Punswick argues, saying Wilder submitted before he got to the ropes, but the referee's decision stands. Wilder slowly starts getting to his feet, only to be nailed by a running knee to the face by Puns. Puns picks Wilder up and hits the EXTINCTION LEVEL EVENT! Wilder is unconcious, but Puns is wasting time showboating to the crowd, indicating he's going to pin Wilder with one finger. He does indeed make the cover with one finger and 1......2....... broken up by a diving Jos!

As Wilder rolls out of the ring, unaware of where he is, Jos is a house of fire as he goes after his rival. Hard, skin lacing chops turn Puns's chest bright red. Spin kick gets a two count. Roaring Elbow, another two count. Jos goes to the apron and slingshots back into the ring with a legdrop for another close two count. Puns rakes Jos's eyes and tries to slide out of the ring to escape Jos's onslaught, but Jos quickly follows and whips Puns into the steps before rolling him back into the ring. Jos locks in a Dragon Sleeper, and it looks like Puns is fading until Wilder nails both with a dive from the top rope. All 3 men are down trying to catch their breaths. Wilder is the first back to his feet and he nails Puns with a leg lariat. Wilder scoops up Jos, goes up to the top rope and hits the Base Jump! Wilder covers... 1, 2, 3.

Winner of the match and the Onslaught title shot in 25:22 Tommy Wilder


Chris Evans vs. Mai Muyo

Mai Muyo is out first, to a rousing reaction from the crowd. She skips down the aisle, stopping occasionally to greet the fans. She rolls into the ring and perches on the turnbuckle, waving to the crowd. The cheers cut off sharply as Chris Evans saunters onto the stage. Evans taunts the fans as he strolls down the aisle, smirking as they attempt to boo him out of the building. He climbs into the ring and referee Junior Hale gives them their instructions and calls for the bell.

They lock up and Evans ties Mai into a hammerlock. She struggles, but can’t quite reverse it. The effort takes them into the ropes and Junior calls for the break. Evans complies, patting Mai on the head as he backs off. He smirks as he moves back in, and eats an elbow to the throat for his trouble. Mai follows up with a knee to the gut, and then springs off the middle rope into a clothesline. She goes back to the ropes, cartwheels past Evans as he rolls to his feet, and catches him in the back with a dropkick. Evans stumbles into the ropes. Mai rolls him up, but Evans powers out at one. Both wrestlers are up, and Mai throws a kick. Evans catches it and yanks her off balance. Evans catches Mai on the chin with a forearm, and then snaps her over with a suplex. Evans stomps on Mai, and then grabs her hair and drags her to her feet. Junior steps in with a warning, but Evans laughs at him. While he’s distracted, Mai winds Evans’ arm and flips him to the mat. She plants a knee in Evans’ shoulder and twists his arm behind him. Evans works his way to his feet. He tries to twist free, but Mai catches him with a knee to the face. She switches her grip to a front facelock. Evans lifts Mai up and runs her back into the turnbuckles, but Mai gets her feet up to block and shoves off into a tornado DDT. She covers, but Evans kicks out at two.

Mai grabs Evans as he gets up and sends him to the corner. He reverses and follows her in with a clothesline. He shoves Mai out of the corner, hops to the second rope, and hits a double axe handle. He tries to set her up for the Way of the Future, but Mai elbows free. She attacks with kicks, driving Evans back until he catches one. She tries to turn that into an enzugiri, but Evans ducks it and reverses into a wheelbarrow suplex. Evans drags Mai up and sends her to the ropes, but Mai springs off the second rope and flips over him, landing in position for the End-Is-Here Before she can hit it, Evans drops free and rolls out to the floor. He circles the ring and pulls something from his tights. As he climbs back in, Matt Folz sprints down the aisle. Paragon of justice that he is, Folz yells at Junior to check Evans’ hands. He does, and takes away a set of brass knuckles. Evans argues with Junior, then turns to yell at Folz, who’s climbed onto the apron. Evans steps too close as they have words, and Folz clocks him - with a roll of quarters, by the looks of the shrapnel. Mai, her view of the interaction blocked by Evans’ body, grabs him as he stumbles back and hits the End-Is-Here. She covers, and Junior, who also missed it, counts One..Two…Three.

WINNER, in 7:46, Mai Muyo.

After the match: Mai celebrates, while Folz backs up the aisle, smirking, but never taking his eyes off of his former partner.


Banned from Everywhere vs. Ecosystem & Stan Fulton

Full intros all around and we are set for action. Justin and Ecosystem start us off, and after a bit of back and forth, Eco slams Justin's head into the turnbuckle and hurls him across the ring by his hair! The referee scolds him , but Eco ignores it and plants Justin with a Gut-Wrench Suplex. Eco hits the ropes for a springboard moonsault, then covers for a 2 count. Sane can't get to his feet, as Eco tries to lock in the LaBell lock. Justin scurries to the ropes and gets a break.

Or does he. Eco does not let go right away, and only after Bill runs in does he relent, dragging Justin to the middle of the ring and hitting a legdrop. Eco tags in Fulton, who eyes his partner warily. Stan catches Justin with a clothesline, then drops a big elbow, Justin rolls just out of the way. Fulton is back up quickly and drops another, and again, Sane avoids the blow. Stan goes for a third and misses again, and Justin can now reach out and tag in Bill.

Awesome Bill bounds in the ring and Kick Wham DDT's Stan in a flash. Bill drags him up and sends him into the ropes Shoulderblock wobbles both men. Bill hits the ropes himself and tries again, and Fulton wobbles to one knee. Bill starts laying in the Dusty Rhodes Bionic Elbows on Stan. One last elbow and Fulton crashes to the mat. Bill covers for 2, and Stan tosses him through the ropes as he kicks out.

Eco drops to the floor and snags Bill, hurling him into the Barricade. juistin runs around and grabs Eco around the neck. HIGH RISK HEADLOCK! Justin slams Eco's head into the ring post. Stan grabs Bill and rolls him back in the ring. As Stan rolls back in, Bill catches him with a forearm and backs him into the corner for some Chop Woooo Chop Woooo Action. Stan gets his chest blistered, then bear hugs Bill and avalanches him into the turnbuckles. Stan holds on and hoists Bill up and power slams him. Eco slaps Stan on the back and tags himself in, climbing the top rope and hitting a senton backsplash on Bill. He covers and gets a 2.999 count.

Eco pulls Bill to his feet and hits him with a stiff uppercut and an enziguri. Justin starts clapping, getting the crowd fired up to help Bill make his way over for a tag. Eco hits a Russian Leg Sweep and bends down to grab Bill, who Hooks him for an inside cradle and a 2 count! Eco pops up, nad Bill dives between his legs for the hit Tag to Justin! Sane comes in and levels Eco with clotheslines and chops. Fulton ducks his head between the riopes, and Justin hits him with a running knee to the side of the head, knocking him to the floor! Justin has Eco tied in the Tree of Woe when he stops, and lets out a bloodcurdling scream

Justin: DOOOOOOOOOOUGHAWWWWWWWWWWWWK

The lights go out, the theme from Bonanza plays, then the lights come back on and Justin is standing there in his boxers, blindfolded with a parrot on his head hugging former Georgia Bulldog & Minnesota Viking running back Herschel Walker! Walker struggles to free himself, and while he does, Fulton lets Eco out of the Tree. Once Justin lets go of the former Heisman Trophy winner, he spots Eco in the corner and tries a Stinger Splash... And no one is home! Eco tags in Fulton, who grabs Justin, nails him with a reverse clothesline, the whips him in the ropes for a Back Cut Slam! Eco cuts off bill as the referee counts 1...2...3!

Winners, in 8:23, Stan Fulton & Ecosystem


Moosehead Jack, Ghosthead, & Matt Folz vs. Danny Taylor, The Kai, & Firewoman

Everyone is introduced and makes their way to the ring. The referee calls for a few more referees from the back, just in case this one gets out of hand. What are the odds of THAT happening. Fire and Moose go nose to nose in the middle of the ring while Ghosthead and Kai jaw with one another. While this is going on, Folz slips out of the ring and slips back in behind Danny and HAMMERS him with a forearm to the back of the head, and just like that the fight is ON!

Folz tries to whip Danny to the ropes, but Danny reverses and pulls Folz right into a SPINEBUSTER! Folz powders out under the bottom rope and falls to the floor. Moose gets the better of an exchange with Fire, and kicks her in the gut and sets her up for a DDT but Kai POPS him on the mouth with a SUPERKICK that sends Moose staggering against the ropes, where Danny takes him over to the floor with a clothesline. Fire ducks a clothesline from Ghost and hits a LUNGBLOWER, Ghost pops back to his feet and Kai grabs him and throws him over the top rope to the floor. The three of them look at one another for a moment, then hit the ropes and dive between the middle ropes and take out Moose, Ghost and Folz! The crowd roars at this, and Fire, Danny and Kai slide back into the ring and climb the turnbuckles and celebrate.

Their celebration doesn’t last long, however. Moose, Ghost and Folz slip back into the ring, Folz grabs Fire from behind and hits an OLYMPIC SLAM off the turnbuckle to the middle of the ring. Ghost attacks Danny and the two of them duke it out in the middle of the ring, while Moose nails Kai with a low blow and shoves him off the turnbuckle to the floor.

Moose leaves the ring and kicks Kai in the mouth, then pulls him up and whips him into the stairs, which Kai hits with a sickening thud. Inside the ring, Folz waits for Fire to get to her feet, then grabs her in a bearhug for a belly to belly suplex, but Fire slams him in the face with a headbutt staggering Folz. Fire hits the ropes and charges, but Folz catches her with a sick kick to the jaw, then drives her to the mat with a belly to back suplex.

Danny blocks a punch by Ghost and slams him face first into the turnbuckle, then scoops him up and plants him on the mat and drops an elbow across his chest. Danny gets to his feet and sees Folz positioning himself behind Fire to grab her for the ankle lock, so he charges across the ring at Folz, but Matt drops to the mat and takes him down with a drop toe hold, hanging Danny on the ropes. From the outside, Moose pulls a chain out of his pocket and wraps it around his fist and BLASTS Danny right between the eyes. Danny falls off the ropes and slumps to the mat now holding his bleeding face.

Outside the ring, Kai is back in his feet, and just after Moose hits Danny, Kai charges and SPEARS Moose into the guardrail! Moose slumps to the floor grabbing his ribs, but Kai is not done. He rolls Moose onto the apron, climbs up and hits a ROCK BOTTOM on the apron! Moose bounces off the apron and falls to the floor, Kai rolls Moose onto the Scandanavian Announce Table and heads into the ring to the corner.

Ghost is up and he and Fire are trading chops in the corner, each one escaping then blasting the other until both of their chests have blood beading up on them. Folz lands a few kicks to Danny’s face to keep him down for a minute longer, then grabs Fire from behind and traps her in a full nelson. Fire reverses it quickly, and Ghost waits, as Folz reverses again, he catches Fire with a kick to the face that drops her to the mat. Folz holds her down and Ghost climbs to the middle rope.

But before Ghost can do anything, Kai runs down the apron and catches Ghost with a boot to the side of the head that sends him staggering back into the ring, right to Danny who kicks him in the gut and sets him up for the DYNAMITE DROP! Before he can hit it, Ghost backdrops Danny over the top rope, Danny holds on and pulls Ghost over the rope with him and they both hit the floor hard.

Fire kicks Folz in the face, showing impressive flexibility and gets back to her feet. As she stands, Kai is poised on the top rope, he does the Macho Man hand gesture, then leaps and hits a FLYING ELBOW on Moose! The impact sends both of them crashing through the table and starts a HOLY SHIT chant from the crowd. Moose and Kai are not doing a whole lot of moving right now, and officials rush to ringside to check on them.

While they are checking on Moose and Kai, Fire, Folz, Ghost and Danny are brawling in and out of the ring. Fire and Folz both have chairs and are slamming them into one another, Danny and Ghost are slugging it out around the ring, Danny gets the better of it, and Ghost tries his BLACK MIST, but Danny ducks and the timekeeper gets a face full of pain! Danny looks at the time keeper then back at Ghost and snarls in rage, but Ghost grabs a chair and DRIVES it down on Danny’s head, dropping him to one knee. Ghost grabs Danny for the HORROR DRIVER ON THE FLOOR, but Fire breaks free from Folz and races around the ring and slams a chair across Ghost’s back.

At this point, Kai and Moose have both made it to their feet, bloody but evidently ok. Moose grabs HDB and Kai grabs his own chair, the referee sees everyone but Danny with some sort of weapon and decides to call for the bell before someone dies.

WINNER – No Contest in 21:15



Intercontinental Title Match
DK Murphy © vs. Rabbit Mask

A white fog rolls out from the gorilla position and Another Me by Jeff Hardy plays. Rabbit Mask comes out from the back and waits for his spotlight. He walks to the ring, climbs in and nonchalantly stands in the corner.

The fog is sucked out the air vents finally and The Gauntlet by the Dropkick Murphys fires up and fires up the crowd. Out comes your OOWF Intercontinental Champion DK Murphy along with Dashing Victor Deniro. Murphy tells Deniro that he’s got this and Victor slaps Murphy on the back and returns to the Destroyatorium. Murphy climbs in the ring, the ref makes the final warnings and this one is under way.

Rabbit takes Murphy down quickly with an unexpected dropkick to the knees. He starts dropping elbows to the back of Murphy’s neck. After three or four of these, Rabbit flips Murphy over and covers for the pin. He gets a two and Murphy rolls the shoulder.

Murphy rolls up to his hands and knees just in time for Rabbit to hit a nice senton which flattens Murphy back to the canvas. Rabbit is quick to sit on Murphy’s back and pull back on his chin. Murphy’s head is pulled back and he’s flexing his hands like he want to tap out.

DK gets his hands under him and leverages himself up but Rabbit Mask is still hanging on. With a tremendous surge of energy and power, Murphy pushes himself up onto his knees. Rabbit changes the chinlock to a sleeper hold and Murphy drops back to his hands. But Murphy’s power is shown again as he somehow works his way to his feet with Rabbit hanging off of him!

Murphy might want to get to a corner or the ropes but they’re right in the middle of the ring. Murphy does the only thing he can. He falls onto his back. Rabbit has his wind blown out of him very audibly and releases the sleeper hold.

DK rolls over to the corner and pulls himself up on the turnbuckles until he’s upright facing the ring. He’s just in time to see Rabbit get to his feet and fly in with a splash. But no! DK moves out of the way at the last second and Rabbit crashes and burns.

Rabbit stumbles out of the corner into a huge back bodydrop by DK. Another big “whooof” is heard from Rabbit as he drops from a height of about eight feet. Now DK drops some elbows right into the chest of Rabbit Mask. DK mixes in a couple of stomps as well.

After a bit of ground and pound, Murphy picks Rabbit up and whips him to the corner. DK follows it up with a running clothesline. Rabbit crumples to the mat and rolls out to the floor.

The ref starts the ten count and gets to five before DK believes he’s waited long enough and rolls out to the floor as well. The ref breaks the count and admonishes Murphy. DK rolls Rabbit back into the ring and follows him in and covers! ONE... TWO... no, Rabbit kicks out.

Murphy’s up and talking to the ref about the start of NFL Free Agency. Mike Wallace? Really that’s the big story? Meanwhile, Rabbit Mask looks up at the pair and thinks that he’s got better things to do. He rolls out of the ring again and starts up the ramp. He gives the obligatory double hand flap-wave-thing showing disdain for the match. The ref has started the ten count and Murphy is too far away to get Rabbit back in time.

EIGHT... NINE... TEN! That’s it.

Your winner via Countout in 10:49 and still OOWF Intercontinental Champion, DK Murphy!

Rabbit Mask stands at the top of the ramp and mics pick up him saying “This isn’t worth it right now. I’ve got better things in store,” before walking backstage. Murphy gets his hand raised, but a count-out win is like kissing your sister.


World Tag Team Title Match
Stank & LD Williams © vs. Alexis Darling & Chad Madison

Alexis and Chad Madison come out in a pretty cool mashup of "Fighter" and "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy." Pretend it works. They slap hands and then Chad hops onto the apron and does the gentlemanly thing of opening the ropes for Alexis. Then LD and Stank make their entrance and hold their belts high as they walk slowly down the ramp, saying something about it still being their world. They take their time getting into the ring and handing over their belts as Chad and Alexis wait impatiently. Looks like Chad and Stank are going to start this one off.

Both men circle, and there's some trash talking happening before the first lock up. Back and forth we go with chain wrestling and various exchanges of sorts. Chad gets to dominate first and catches Stank with a missile dropkick off the ropes to his bad knee, taking him down a bit. He follows up with another dropkick, and it looks like he's going to go for the third, but Stank has it scouted and dodges, leaving Madison on the canvas. Stank gets up (having been over-exaggerating) and stomps Chad a few times before tagging in LD. LD gives a few kicks of his own before hauling Chad to his feet, and pulling him into a short armed clothesline. He whips Chad into the ropes and flips him over with a snap suplex and pins for a one count. Chad kicks out, and kips up, tagging in Alexis.

Alexis and LD circle and lock up. LD has a hard time at first being able to control the smaller, more flexible Alexis as she breaks free and then flies off the ropes with an elbow that hits LD just right, or just wrong, depending on your viewpoint. LD is distracted by this, allowing Alexis hit the ropes behind him and ground him with a not-too-shitty bulldog. She gets him into an armbar, grinding her knee into his shoulder blade as he reaches out for the ropes or something. Something happens as Stank comes in to break up the hold, which brings in Chad and we have a brief Pier 4 brawl before the referee restores order.

LD and Alexis again as legal people. This time LD doesn't underestimate her and as she flies off the top ropes for what might have been the beginnings of a hurricanrana, he catches her and nails her with a wheelbarrow suplex. He hooks the leg, one..two...NO! Chad is in to break up the pin! The referee escorts him out and Stank comes in, smacking LD on the back for the tag. They get Alexis up by her arms as the referee is explaining why both tag team members can't be there at the same time, and DOUBLE SLAM on to the canvas. The referee turns just as LD is leaving, and points, but Stank claps his hands in the universal sign of "we tagged." The referee allows it as Chad can't believe it. Stank trash talks at Chad some more, while Alexis counts the birdies circling her head. Stank runs the ropes to set up STANKONIA 2.0, except he trashed talked too long. As he jumps, Alexis rolls out of the way, and tags in Chad. Stank staggers to his feet and Chad and Lexie signal each other and go to opposite ends of the ring, bounce off the ropes and go for the Rock and Roll Express DOUBLE DROP KICK! Lexie connects high and Chad ....wait, he ALSO goes high (instead of one high, one low). Miscommunication among the tag team partners, and they've been doing so well! Chad ends up getting only a little piece of Stank and sadly a little bit of Lexie as well. Lexie rolls to the side, and Chad is the legal man.

Chad stands toe to toe with Stank and the big man drives him back with chop after chop. Ow. He tosses Chad into the ropes and kicks him in the gut as he comes out. Chad doubles over and Stank lifts him up for POWER BOMB! Is he going to go for the Stankbomb? Maybe, as he hits a second POWER BOMB! He lifts Chad up into a bear hug and motions for LD to come in, which he does. LD runs the ropes and leaps to hit Chad with a clothesline...HART ATTACK! Stank makes the pin, and LD helps the referee count one...two...THREE!!!

Your winners in 22:14 and STILL OOWF World Tag Team Champions, LD Williams & Stank

After the match, Stank and LD put a few boots to Lexie and Chad as they hold their titles high, just to punctuate the win. Finally security comes down and gets Stank & LD Williams out of the ring. They back up the ramp as the crowd rains boos on them but they seem to enjoy that. As Lexie and Chad help each other to their feet there is suddenly a blur that rushes past LD & Stank and slides into the ring behind Lexie & Chad. It’s Dillon Walker; he was supposed to wrestle Chad tonight for a chance at an Onslaught title shot that was postponed when Chad volunteered to help Alexis Darling out. Walker grabs Alexis from behind and tosses her over the top rope all the way to the floor where she lands with a thud. Dillon follows up by lifting Chad to his feet and picking him up…BLACK GOLD (Slingshot Powerbomb) and Chad’s head bounces off the canvas. But Walker isn’t done as he grabs his bullrope and wraps it around Chad’s throat before tossing him over the top rope as well and pulling back. We have a good old-fashioned country hanging as Walker yells about being disrespected and ducked. Security is finally done escorting LD & Stank backstage and rushes back down to the ring where they help Chad onto the apron and pull Walker out of the ring. What an ending to another night of great action here in the OOWF.






Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action! Be sure to check out the OOWF MADNESS 9, coming to you Live! Sunday March 31st from Monte Carlo, Monaco! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem! March 20th, Live! From Salzburg, Austria. Did you see something you really liked? Post it here in the 2013 Awards Reminder Thread. Please join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights! And be sure to check out the full OOWF Archive and read up on the 8-year plus history of the OOWF!