Midweek Mayhem (8/7) Live from Sapporo, Japan Font

[BookerShark]

OOWF Midweek Mayhem
Live from Sapporo, Japan
Wednesday, August 7th 2013


Intercontinental Title Match
Alexis Darling (c) vs. Mai Muyo

World Tag Team Title Match
Texpress (c) vs. Salvation - if Stank/LD Williams interfere during the match, they will not receive another title match for 2013

Onslaught Title Match
Amazing Jos (c) vs. Jason Allen

Non-title
Moosehead Jack vs. Daniella Murphy

Street Fight
Saints of Sinners (Christian Carter & Chloe) vs. Matt Folz & Alexander Darling

Winner gets a World Heavyweight Title Match Next Week
Ghosthead vs. Tommy Wilder vs. Chris Evans


Danny Taylor vs. Jeremy Punswick
Saints of Sinners (Stank & LD Williams) vs. Firewoman & Miranda
The Word vs. DK Murphy
Banned from Everywhere vs. The Draculs



Card subject to Kung Fu Fighting

[BookerShark]

We see Matt Folz limping yet again out of OOWF medical. He hugs Jaime McAllister.

MF: This shit is getting old. Is that the lineup for next week?

JM: Yeah.

MF: Who am I facing?

JM: ....

MF: Hon? Kind of more effective to prepare if I know who I'm facing.

JM: It's a tag team street fight, Chloe and Carter against you and... um

MF: Oh hell, Evans?

JM: No.

MF: Murphy?

JM: No. Look, just promise me you won't over react ok?

MF: I'll do my best.

Jaime hands over the lineup. Folz scans it and takes a few seconds to react.

MF: OH WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT???!!!


Fade

[BookerShark]

*Davin Moreland is SITTING~! at the local Dunkin' Donuts with Mickie Moreland, and what seems to be two other people, and they're having a conversation. Well, Mickie's having a conversation. With herself. At least she's not talking to her Munchkin, I suppose.*

MM: ...and then? I flipped ovah! And then? I landed on my feet and then the othah kids were all "Woooooooah" and I was all like "Yeeeeeeah!" And then S-

DM: Honey, take a breath, would ya?

V1: Like, she like, totally takes after you, man, it's too funny.

DM: I do not talk like that.

V2: Bullshit, you do too.

DM: Hey! Language in front of the kid!

MM: Bullshit!

DM: See what you did? Some teacher you are.

V2: Nothing she hasn't heard a million times already. But she's really good, yeah. I was barely doing that stuff at her age. She just needs to, you know, not knock the other kids off the balance beam and stuff.

V1: Yeah, man. She's like, totally a brute.

*Davin turns to look at the beaming, cherubic Mickie, and sighs heavily. Silence for a bit, when Mickie pipes up again.*

MM: Nobody can beat Moosehead Jack.

*Someone drops a coffee roll at the mention of that name*

DM: Yeah, she's been on that kick, lately.

V1: I haven't, like, even thought of that dude in like, forever, man.

V2: You're letting her watch wrestling again, I suppose?

DM: Letting? She's making me. She's gonna get me killed.

V1: Guess Sammy doesn't, like, approve?

MM: Mommy doesn't wike when I watch the wrasslin'. She says it make me too viowent. I say Mommy's a wuss.

DM: Mommy will kick your little peanut ass and not think twice about it, you know?

MM: *sighs and nods solemnly* I know. I just wike it. Why did you stop, Daddy?

DM: Stop...what?

V2: What do you think?

MM: Wrasslin', Daddy!

DM: Daddy's old. And Daddy was really injured.

MM: Unca Moosehead Jack is oldah than you, wight?

DM: I think. A little bit.

MM: And Unca Stank, and Unca Ewl D? Them too?

DM: I don't remember, honey. Why are we talking about this?

V1: And it's not like, you're like, injured anymore, man.

DM: Don't you start too.

MM: Daddy said...daddy said...daddy said the othah day that he's the healthiest he been since high school. Dat so much time ta heawl.

V2: Hasn't had this much time to heal since then you mean?

*Mickie nods until her head falls off. Not literally. That would be creepy.*

DM: So why would I screw that up? The heaviest thing I have to lift is her, the fastest thing I have to chase is her. I can handle that just fine. I've got nothing left to prove.

V2: You sound like Samantha.

DM: She's pretty smart, you know!

*The camera pulls back and reveals that sitting at the table with the Morelands is Moonbeam and Shawn Johnson; both looking rested and healthy in their own right. The three women are simply looking at him.*

DM: Besides, it's not like there's some big demand for me to come back. Everyone had pretty much tired of my act by the end.

OGMSJ: Not true. You were mailing it in, is all.

MM: Mailin' it in!

DM: Don't you start.

SFJ420: She's like, right, though.

DM: I mean, who would want to work with me? They'd call me a quitter, washed up...and they'd be right, you know?

OGMSJ: Yeah, who'd want to work with you. Just like, the safest, easiest to work with person on the roster, is all. Make everyone look like a million bucks? Yeah, who'd want to work with you?

DM: This is all ridiculous and moot anyway. Sam would never go for it, and honestly, I don't even know that I want to. Let's just leave well-enough alone?

MM: Why don't you be a managuh?

DM: A manager? Are you nuts?

MM: Yeah, that way Mommy won't get mad.

DM: She'll get mad anyway if she found out we had this conversation. So everyone shut up about it, ok?

*Everyone nods their agreement, and we fade*

[BookerShark]

(Chloe is following Moosehead Jack and the Saints of Sinners as they head for the back of the OOWF Charter to Sapporo Japan. They've gotten there long before the rest of the crew and has the “carry on”, basically a cooler full of beer. She takes a seat between Moose and Christian Carter. Chloe hands all the Saints a brew and they toast each other as the rest of the crew begins arriving. Moose confers with Stank and LD while she begins a conversation with Carter)

Chloe: Lexie's gonna feel that for a long time.

Carter: Him too. It's fun beating on the Darlings.

Chloe: One of my favorites. Glad I got in my share of beatings tonight. It'll make this trip easier.

Carter: I hate this cattle car stuff. Pain in the ass.

Chloe: Well, I always found a way to amuse myself. First time I did this I found me a fun target.

Carter: I thought there was a “No Violence” rule?

Chloe: Yes, but that doesn't preclude a few Mind Games. Won my first DDT Title on the Tarmac, and then had a fun conversation with...Mai Little Pony.

Carter: Oh?

Chloe: Sucked her in that I was her best friend since her brother got Reverend Potato Head fired. Hilarity ensued, and I was THAT CLOSE....

Carter: What happened?

Chloe: Daddy dearest got in the way, that was just one more reason to hate him.

Carter: That sucks.

Chloe: That's OK, I've gotten my payback. More payback this week against Darling and Folz.

Carter: This should be fun.

Chloe: Maybe we can put them both out. Would make for a fun night.

Carter: It's a street fight.

Chloe: When we get to Japan remind me to show you what's stowed in my luggage. Should be helpful.

Carter: You're good at this stuff.

Chloe: You have no idea. Trust me.

(Chloe downs her beer and pulls out her tablet to catch up on her soaps as we...)

FADE

[BookerShark]

*Stank is sitting next to Moose as the plane is delayed on the tarmac. We catch them mid conversation.*

MHJ - I'm sure.

Stank - Both of them?

MHJ - It's a sure bet.

Stank - mmmm... Maybe I will. I could use the workout. I'm tired of the losses I've been taking lately.

MHJ - It will turn around. Trust me. So you're in?

Stank - ...

MHJ - ...

Stank - What about Billy Dee?

MHJ -

Stank -

MHJ -

Stank - I'm not about to keep this from him.

MHJ - Wouldn't ask you to.

Stank - Okay. I'm in.

MHJ - Outstanding.

Stank - As long as you don't bring Chloe along.

MHJ - Why?

Stank - She's unpredictable which is great most of the time... but this doesn't call for that.

MHJ - ...

Stank - Moose.

MHJ - Okay fine.

Stank - Great.

MHJ - Jeremy and Christian?

Stank - Not for this...

MHJ - What do we think?

Stank - I'd like to see them with the Tag Championship belts around their waists.

MHJ - Really?

Stank - Yeah. I'm not greedy. They've worked together pretty well despite their history with one another.

MHJ - We have them focused on singles gold right now. Carter will make an excellent IC Champ and Punswick would love nothing more than to slaughter the not so Amazing Jos for that Onslaught belt.

Stank - So how long are we going to keep this up?

MHJ - What?

Stank - ... .... The plan.

MHJ - Til it's done.

Stank -

MHJ - What?

Stank -

MHJ - Don't tell me you're having second thoughts.

Stank - Hell no... it's just... I don't have too many years left.. and there are a couple of things I'd like to accomplish before I end it.

*Moose slowly shakes his head.*

MHJ - It's not time for that kind of talk.

Stank -

MHJ - We haven't finished burning it all down.

Stank - Not for nothing, Jack, but your boy is starting to get in the way.

MHJ - Bennett?

Stank - What's this shit about if LD and I interfere in the tag title match we won't get another shot for the rest of the year?

MHJ -

Stank - It's not just that either. I know you didn't like the way he handled Wilder stealing the World Title belt from you.

MHJ -

Stank - And my sources in Dayton tell me that Selena is behind a lot of the pull Bridgette has been able to pull off lately.

MHJ - None of it will matter by the time we're done.

Stank - I hope you're right.

*Stank rises from his seat and makes his way back two rows to where Chloe is sitting next to LD Williams.*

Stank - You can go sit with him now.

Chloe - Thank you Mr. Mann.

*Chloe stands and scoots past Stank as the big man seats himself next to LD.*

LDW - Anything I should know?

Stank - ... yeah.

LDW - Well?

Stank - I'll tell you later.

[BookerShark]

FADE back in on the plane to Japan which has just taken off. Sitting in the middle near the exits (he likes the extra leg room), gripping the chair arms like he’s going to pull them off is The Crusher Stan Fulton. In the row in front of him are Ecosystem and Mai Muyo. Mai is kneeling on her seat so she can talk to Fulton.

MM: “Seriously? You’d be in more danger if you’re in your Kia.”

SF: “Statistically? Yes. But at least in my car, I have my hands on the wheel. If I can see something happening I can try to avoid it. If this giant metal tube with engines fails, there’s little anyone can do to save us.”

Eco leans around his seat to look back at Fulton.

E: “Type-A personality.”

SF: “Perhaps.”

Fulton closes his eyes, yet Mai is still kneeling staring at him. Fulton somehow realizes this and cracks one eye.

SF: “What?”

MM: “Just thinking about you making your Grand Slam speech.”

SF: “Dream on. I’ve been chasing that for so long, I’m beginning to believe that it’s never going to happen. In fact...”

Fulton pulls out a messenger bag from under his seat. From it, he removes a set of legal looking documents and hands them to Mai. Mai looks them over as her eyes get wide.

MM: “Retirement papers?”

That statement has not only Eco, but some nearby wrestlers paying attention.

SF: “Mai, I’m a large man. I’ve taken a lot of abuse and I’d like to live past fifty. I can’t keep doing this for much longer. The Board of Directors have never liked me. Hell, they probably like Moose more right now.”

E: “You’re feeling sorry for yourself. Knock it off. We have a tag title match on Wednesday.”

MM: “Yeah. Plus LD and Stank cannot interfere or they don’t get any more title shots this year.”

SF: “One. That doesn’t preclude any of the other Saints from interfering. Two. LD and Stank probably don’t care if they don’t get another shot. Three. We still have to face Texpress.”

Chad and Zane are sitting behind Fulton and Zane leans forward.

ZM: “That sounds like the hardest part.”

Fulton rolls his eyes at Myers and pushes his face back so he sits back.

ZM: “Hey!”

SF: “I’m just saying I’m getting tired. I’m almost to the point of saying ‘Let the Saints burn it down.’ I’m fed up.”

The Joker, sitting across the aisle from Eco looks over at him and points at Fulton, as if to say ‘Do something. You need him.’

Eco gets up and squats down next to Fulton.

E: “You are the future of this company, Stan. You’re moving merch. You’re going to be the next Grand Slam and Six Pack champion. We’re going to be OOWF World Tag Team Champions. And there’s one more thing.”

SF: “What?”

E: “I need you. You’re keeping me on the line. You’re keeping me from crossing that line. You’re my conscious. And Mai likes you.”

Mai smiles big.

SF: (half sighing) “We’ll see.”

Fulton closes his eyes, leans back in his seat and tries to take his mind off the fact that he’s in a metal contraption that isn’t supposed to be able to be airborne.

FADE

[BookerShark]

Jermey Punswick is in the restroom on the airplane, and the camera is focused on him from the waist up, because otherwise would totally give us an NC-17 rating, and we are edgy, but not THAT edgy. He finishes up, and then leaves (without washing his hands, because he's a HEEL). As soon as he steps out, he finds himself face to face (well, more face to chest) with Dynamite Danny Taylor. Punswick pauses for a moment, and then turns to call for help, and finds not one, but both the Murphy's standing there. Puns looks genuinely worried, and turns back to Danny, who simply smirks at him. We here a voice from off camera.

Voice: It would be easy you know.

Puns looks over, and the camera follows, and we see Dashing Victor Deniro leaning against the planes wall.

DVD: These three, they could take you out pretty easily right now, and it probably wouldn't matter.

JP: The saints would....

DVD: (cutting him off) They wouldn't do much. You aren't the champ. You aren't one of his closest friends. You aren't his devoted disciple. Hell, you are really a "saint" in name only. Taking you out would irritate them, but it wouldn't really cause any problems. (DVD laughs) It would be easy.

Puns looks around, and he looks nervous. Danny just keeps smiling, while DK crosses his arms and Dee cracks her knuckles.

DVD: Now you may be thinking to yourself...They are white hats, no way they would do this...and you might be right.

Victor points over to Danny.

DVD: He won't attack you like this. It's not his way. You and Danny, you will face each other at Mayhem, in the ring, and the better man on that night will emerge victorious.

Punswick visibly relaxes.

DVD: (points to the Murphy's) but these two? They try to be good, but they are Jack's kids after all.

Puns looks back over to them, and he his relaxation vanishes again. DVD smiles.

DVD: Like I said it would be easy. And that is why we won't do it. Danny will face you in the ring, and he will take you down. (Vic leans in close to Jeremey) For every brick the saints attempt to tear down, know that we will build it back up.

Vic steps back, and Danny moves aside giving a clear path down the aisle way. Puns takes a moment to collect himself, and then scurries back to the rest of the saints. Drink and Destroy watch him leave with both Danny, DK and Vic smiling deeply, and Dee looking a little confused.

Dee: I thought you said violence wasn't allowed on the plane rides.

DVD: It's not, but he doesn't know that.

Danny and Vic do a quick knucklebump. DK elbows Dee in the ribs.

DK: That is why I hang out with these guys.

We get smiles all around from D&D as we

FADE

[BookerShark]

<We see Justin Sane running through the airport, dodging slow moving people, leaping over stacks of luggage, and hurdling gates. He gets to the counter and breathlessly asks the attendant….>

JS: When does the OOWF Flight to Sapporo Japan leave?

Attendant: Five minutes

JS: WHAT GATE?!?!

Attendant: 27….but sir….

<Justin doesn’t listen, he sprints full speed through the airport, stripping down to his wrestling trunks as he goes, making the trip through security MUCH faster. He gets to gate 27>

JS: I HAVE TO GET ON THAT PLANE!

Attendant 2: But sir, that flight is booked, and getting ready to taxi down the runway!

JS: I HAVE TO GET ON THAT PLANE!

Attendant 2: Sir, there is another flight to Sapporo in 12 hours……

JS: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! THE WOMAN I LOVE IS ON THAT PLANE! I HAVE TO SEE HER BEFORE SHE FALLS FOR “COWBOY” CHAD MADISON!

Attendant 2: Well why didn’t you say so! GO! GO MAN GO TO THE WOMAN YOU LOVE!

<the gathered crowd begins to applaud as Justin exits out the gate and sprints across the tarmac to the waiting plane, and somehow is not tackled by security. The plane is just about to start rolling when the pilot looks out the window and sees a man wearing only boots and wrestling tights running toward the plane screaming MIRAAAAAAAAANNNNNDDAAAAAAAAAA. Amazingly the pilot stops the plane just as Justin gets there and the door opens. Justin makes it up the stairs in just a few steps and races down the aisle to where Miranda is sitting next to Chad Madison. >

CM: So, I know this place in Sapporo, best hot tubs in the town, and you can pay these women to walk on your back……

JS: <out of breath> Miranda! I………I came for you! Miranda……..I realized after our date how much I……… <Justin seems at a loss for words, he looks around the plane, all the OOWF eyes are on him> Miranda…….I love you……<Justin drops to one knee> Miranda……..will you marry me? Will you be Mrs. Sane?

<Justin pulls out a ring and holds it out for Miranda, she looks at him in shock, her hands over her mouth, then smiles through the tears>

M: Yes! Yes! Justn I love you too!

<they embrace and the entire plane stands up and gives them a thunderous ovation as Justin squeezes her tight. True love has never been so touching………..

Wavy lines……and we cut to the plane, where AA is sitting between Bill and a clearly catatonic Justin Sane>

ABFD: WELL HELL SON! YOU’S GETTING’ MARRIED!

JS: ………

ABFD: Though…….I been with that ol boy all day, I don’t remember him romanticizin Miranda and proposin them nuptuals to anyone of the female type

AA: Well, that hasn’t happened yet, but it will soon! That is just part one, it will go along with the unreleased footage of their date. We can film it in Japan, I have the crew on their way already! Everyone is a sucker for a love story! I am a LOCK for promo of the year, whaddya say Justin?

JS: …….

EMFE: <walking back to their seat, but not noticing AA as she is looking at some paperwork> Ok Bill, it seems the PCPL was disposed of, but not after putting three drug sniffing dogs in an alcohol coma, and Justin, the Viking helmet made it through customs, but the ostrich has to be quaran…….<she finally notices AA> Seriously? What the hell are you doing here? AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH JUSTIN?

ABFD: THAT OL BOY IS GETTING MARIFIED!

EMFE: He’s what?

ABFD: AA is done gonna promoify him runnin through the airport and winnin the hand of Miranda Rights….

EMFE: Wait, wait……you screwed with time again didn’t you?

AA: NO!.......well maybe a little

EMFE: Justin……Justin? HE’S CATATONIC!

AA: Just a little…..he’ll be fine

EMFE: AA……do you know what happens when Justin goes catatonic?

AA: Uh…..no?

EMFE: He plays minesweeper. Constantly

AA: And…….

EMFE: AND WE ARE ON AN AIRPLANE 30,000 FEET IN THE AIR

AA: Oh……

<Just then, #heelcardboardcutout Johnny Adrenaline’s cardboard head explodes>

AA: JOHNNY!

<AA rushes over to Johnny and holds his headless body in his arms>

AA: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Johnny, Johnny! Speak to me! <AA sobs, making sure to look at the camera and gently lays Johnny down on the floor> Johnny…….I swear to you…….I make a VOW…..I WILL avenge your death! I swear to it by my own blood! <AA pulls out a knife to cut his hand and make a blood oath>

EMFE: HE’S GOT A KNIFE!

AA: Who has a what now?

<but it is too late, Air Marshalls tackle AA and essentially beat the snot out of him until he drops the weapon. They handcuff him and drag him to the back of the plane>

AA: ARREST ME? I’M ALREADY ARRESTED! ABUSE! OF! POWER! ATTICA! ATTICA! Wait……you guys are really arresting me? Hey! These are real cuffs! THIS IS NOT IN THE SCRIPT!

<as they drag him off, Ellie May sits down heavily and looks at Bill>

EMFE: What are we going to do about Justin?

<Bill looks clueless – or, normal – and just shrugs. A few rows in front of them Chloe’s iPad goes up in smoke>

Chloe: WHAT THE HELL? I WILL SLAUGHTER EVERY LAST PERSON I SEE! MY SOAPS!

EMFE: <sinking in her seat a little> This is going to be a long flight

[BookerShark]

On the plane. Alexander is reading an e-mail and scowling. He slams the laptop shut just as Alexis sits down in what is traditionally Fire’s seat.

AD: I don’t know why we keep him around.

LD: Who?

AD: Dr. Freedman.

LD: He keeps your wife out of mental institutions?

AD: I think Fire keeps herself out.

LD: Uh huh. Why, what did he say this time.

AD: I need to “set more boundaries” for Fire. Hell, I’m not happy she went to a secret illegal cage fighting club, either. I have to look at the damn scar in her side where she was stabbed someone who was totally not her brother.

LD: Totally not.

AD: You know as well as I do that you tell Fire not to do something, she’ll do the exact damn opposite. Or just leave. I promised both her and myself I’d let her be her, and not try to control her like Moose does.

LD: I dunno. Davin was always able to reign her in when she’d get too far out there.

AD: That’s different.

LD: I don’t think saying you really wish she wouldn't do that because she might get hurt and you worry because you love her is not –

AD: Now you sound like the shrink…where is she, anyway?

It soon becomes obvious where she is, as she is up at the front of the plane where the flight attendant usually gives the announcements about seatbelts and tray tables.

FW: Can I have your attention please?

Strangely, they do.

FW: When we got to Stillwater, I promised Chad that I would not engage in the recitation of any Broadway musicals while we were there. And I held to that promise.

However, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to notice that we are no longer in Stillwater.

Everyone groans.

FW: And, with the extra long flight across the Pacific and the no violence rule firmly in place, we shall begin. Just after the Overture though…I can’t do the full orchestra—

Fire clears her throat and starts to strum on a guitar that just appeared out of nowhere.

There's a bright, golden haze on the meadow
There's a bright, golden haze on the meadow.
The corn is as high as an elephant's eye
And it looks like it's climbing clear up to the sky.

Oh, what a beautiful Mornin'
Oh, what a beautiful day.
I've got a beautiful feelin'
Everything's goin' my way.

All the cattle are standin' like statues
All the cattle are standin' like statues
They don't turn their heads as they see me ride by
But a little brown mav'rick is winkin' her eye

Oh, what a beautiful Mornin'
Oh, what a beautiful day.
I've got a beautiful feelin'
Everything's goin' my way.

All the sounds of the earth are like music
All the sounds of the earth are like music
The breeze is so busy it don't miss a tree
An' a ol' weepin' willer is laughin' at me

Oh, what a beautiful Mornin'
Oh, what a beautiful day.
I've got a beautiful feelin'
Everything's goin' my way.
Oh, what a beautiful day!

There's no applause, just glares.

LD: What was that about boundaries?

AD: *sigh*

FW: So the next song in the soundtrack...

[BookerShark]

TW: Really? We're on our way to Japan! Do something from The Mikado!

[BookerShark]

FW: Sorry, Tommy, no requests. Also this is the only musical I know*. The next is a duet between Curly and Laurey with a bit from Aunt Eller. I'll try to change the voices so you know which is which, although I'd rather have a couple of volunteers to....no? No one? Okay, voice changes it is....

*and she does*

Curly voice:

When I take you out, tonight, with me,
Honey, here's the way it's goin' to be:
You will set behind a team of snow white horses,
In the slickest gig you ever see!

Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry
When I take you out in the surrey,
When I take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top!
Watch that fringe and see how it flutters
When I drive them high steppin' strutters.
Nosey pokes'll peek thru' their shutters and their eyes will pop!
The wheels are yeller, the upholstery's brown,
The dashboard's genuine leather,
With isinglass curtains y' can roll right down,
In case there's a change in the weather.
Two bright sidelight's winkin' and blinkin',
Ain't no finer rig I'm a-thinkin'
You c'n keep your rig if you're thinkin' 'at I'd keer to swap
Fer that shiny, little surrey with the fringe on the top!

Aunt Eller voice:

Would y' say the fringe was made a' silk?

Curly voice:

Wouldn't have n' other kind but silk.

Laurey voice:

Has it really got a team of snow white horses?

Curly voice:

One's like snow,
the others more like milk.

All the world'll fly in a flurry
When I take you out in the surrey,
When I take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top!
When we hit that road, hell fer leather,
Cats and dogs'll dance in the heather,
Birds and frogs'll sing all together and the toads will hop!
The wind'll whistle as we rattle along,
The cows'll moo in the clover,
The river will ripple out a whispered song,
And whisper it over and over:
Don't you wisht y'd go on forever?
Don't you wisht y'd go on forever?
Don't you wisht y'd go on forever and ud never stop
In that shiny, little surrey with the fringe on the top!

I can see the stars gettin' blurry,
When we ride back home in the surrey,
Ridin' slowly home in the surrey with the fringe on top!
I can feel the day gettin' older,
Feel a sleepy head near my shoulder,
Noddin', droopin' close to my shoulder, till it falls kerplop!
The sun is swimmin' on the rim of a hill;
The moon is takin' a header,
And jist as I'm thinkin' all the earth is still,
A lark'll wake up in the medder.
Hush, you bird, my baby's a-sleepin'!
Maybe got a dream worth a-keepin'
Whoa! you team, and jist keep a-creepin' at a slow clip clop.
Don't you hurry with the surrey with the fringe on the top!

*true story

[BookerShark]

*On the plane*

Fire takes a few gulps of water before taking a deep breath to begin the next song.

Lexie: Are you going to stop this?

Alex: Wasn't planning on it.

Lexie: Seriously?

Fire: I can hear you, ya know.

Alex: What? She has a nice voice.

Fire: Thanks dear.

Lexie: 1. No. She doesn't. You don't. And 2. Just make her stop.

Fire: Don't even think about it husband.

Alex: Fire, to be honest...maybe you shouldn't.

Fire: Oh come on. I was threatened with massive revolts if I did it last week and for that reason, I'm going to make everyone deal with it here.

Alex: So threats sometimes work with you?

Fire: I guess. Depends what the threat is.

Alex gets out of his seat and makes his way to the front of the plane where Fire is standing. He whispers something in her ear.

Fire: You wouldn't.

Alex: Willing to take that chance?

Fire: I'll make your life hell if you try.

Alex: Be that as it may. Keep singing and you'll see if I'm willing to do it or not do it as the case may be.

Fire: That's really unfair.

Alex: As unfair as the rest of us listening to showtunes?

Fire: *glares*

Alex: *smirks*

Fire: That's not as cute as you think it is.

Alex: Cute or not, I'd like you to come back to your seat with me. Besides, I've got to talk to you about my match this week.

Fire: But but but...OKLAHOMA!!!

Alex: I know dear.

Fire: *grumbles*

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

Firewoman follows Alex back toward their seats with a pout. She sits down and Alex, and indeed the whole plane, breathes a collective sigh of relief. Alex looks through some video for insight as to his match. Fire fidgets.

AD: Did you take your plane stuff?

FW: Yeah. With whiskey.

AD: Is that safe?

FW: So far.

Alex rolls his eyes and goes back to his video. Fire taps her feet and her hands and looks around, plays with her hair. Finally she starts humming. Alex tries to ignore her. Then she starts softly singing...

I got to Kansas City on a Frid'y
By Sattidy I larned a thing or two
For up to then I didn't have an idy
Of whut the modren world was comin' to!

I counted twenty gas buggies goin' by theirsel's
Almost ev'ry time I tuk a walk.
'Nen I put my ear to a Bell Telephone and a strange womern started in to talk!
(Whut next! Yeak whut!)
Whut next?

Alex looks at Fire through the corner of his eye.

AD: What are you doing.

FW: I can't...I started it I have to FINISH!!!

She leaps up and grabs the speaker again.

Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City
They've gone about as fur as they c'n go!
They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high,
About as high as a buildin' orta grow.

Ev'rythin's like a dream in Kansas City,
It's better than a magic lantern show!
Y' c'n turn the radiator on whenever you want some heat.
With ev'ry kind o' comfort ev'ry house is all complete.

You c'n walk to privies in the rain and never wet your feet!
They've gone about as fur as they can go,
(Yes sir!)
They've gone about as fur as they can go!

Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City
They've gone about as fur as they can go!
They got a big theayter they call a burlesque.
Fer fifty cents you can see a dandy show.

One of the gals was fat and pink and pretty,
As round above as she was round below.
I could swear that she was padded from her shoulder to her heel,
But then she started dancin' and her dancin' made me feel
That ev'ry single thing she had was absolutely real

She went about as fur as she could go,
(Yes sir!)
She went about as fur as she could go!

[BookerShark]

Wilder watches Firewoman....
TW: OK. Enough. Something has GOT to be done.

Chad: You sure, amigo? Messing with her ain't smart at the best of times.

Zane: And this AIN'T the best of times.

TW: Dudes. Chill, I got this.

Tommy walks to the front of the plane, stopping right in front of Firewoman... who stops singing.

FW: What? You gonna do something?

TW: Yup!

Tommy reaches into the overhead next to FW, and pulls down a vintage Stratocaster, already plugged in.....


TW: ONETWOTHREEFOUR!!!!!

Launches into a Iggy and the Stooges style guitar riff -


TW: Trapped!
FW: Tricked!
TW: Hoodblinked!
FW: Hambushed!

LD Williams suddenly flips the chair back in front of him over, reavling a drum set... And starts to JAM!

[MEN]

Friend, what's on your mind?
Why do you walk around and around?
With your hands folded behind?
And your chin scraping the ground?

Mai pulls out a keyboard, and Eco joins her on the KEYTAR!


ALEX DARLING :
Twenty minutes ago, I am free, like a breeze.
Free like a bird in the woodland wild.
Free like a gypsy, free like a child.
I am unattached.

STAN FULTON JOINS IN!

Twenty minutes ago, I can do what I please.
Flick my cigar ashes on the rug.
Dunk with a donut, drink from a jug.
I am a happy man.

Alex, Punswick, Carter and Stan:

I am minding my own business like I oughta.
Ain't meaning any harm to anyone.
I'm talking to a certain farmer's daughter-
Then I am looking in the muzzle of a gun!


MooseHead Jack sighs, reaches under his seat and pulls out.... ELECTRIC BASS!

[MEN]
It's getting so you can't have any fun.
Every daughter has a father with a gun.


[WOMEN]
It's a scandal. It's an outrage.
How a gal gets a husband today.

The Murphy's join in on Ullien pipes and a Bodrhan!

[Awesome Bill]
If you make one mistake when the moon is bright
Then they tie you to a contract so you make it every night.

[MEN]
It's a scandal. It's an outrage.
When her family surround you and say,
"You gotta take and make an honest woman outa Nell"


FIREWOMAN:
To make you make her honest, she will lie like hell!


[MEN]
It's a scandal. It's an outrage.
On our manhood it's a blot!
Where is the leader who will save us
And be the first man to be shot?

Stank:
Me?

Chloe pulls out a triangle - <TING!>

[MEN]
Yes, you!

ALEXIS DARLING:

It's a scandal. It's an outrage.
Just a wink and a kiss and you're through!


ZANE MYERS:
You're a mess, and in less then a year, by heck
There's a baby on your shoulder making bubbles on your neck.

[MEN]
It's a scandal. It's an outrage.
Any farmer will tell you it's true.

CHAD and Justin Zane:
A rooster in a chicken coop is better off than men-
He ain't the special property of just one hen.

[MEN]
It's a scandal. It's an outrage.
It's a problem we must solve.
We gotta start a revolution!

[WOMEN]
All right, boys. Revolve!

Tommy Wilder: HELLLOOOOO OSAKA!!!!


Danny Taylor Stands up - everyone looks at him expectantly.

He throws up double "Rock and Roll" gestures...!



Fade.....

[BookerShark]

The flight to Japan is only in its fourth hour in its 18 hour schefule when you see Christisn Carter. Carter is seen in yhe restroom changing his bandages from the wounds he recieved from the last two matches. He pops a few pain killers to compensate for the pain and headaches.

He walks out of the compartment and heads towards the area where The Saints are at. As he makes his way there, He passes a few White Hats who give him a stare down, Justin Sane who keeps staringvin the direction of the Darling camp who in return, are glaring at him, none more than Alexander Darling. Jason Allen & Jos scarfing down food as if having the munchies.

There are a few he has no idea who they are. He gets o the Saints and sees Puns off a bit by himself, Stank & LD close to Moose and Chloe who are sitting next to each other.

Carter stops near Moose and looks to him. Moose seesca concern on his face.

MHJ: You alright?

CC: I don't know Jack. Alot racing through my mind. And it starts with the Saints.

MHJ: Really? And what would thst be?

CC: What am I to you Jack? What am I doing to make a name for myself?

MHJ: Remember, I chose you. First day here, you were placed in this position. Not becsuse of where you been but who you are. Christian Carter, the longest reigning champion in xGw history. The man that caused havoc in LBCW, and the man that has helped the Saints accomplish alot since being here, not to mention, a friend. That is what you are.

CC: And because of that, is why Im greatful.

MHJ: Ryan, listen...

Carter seems suprised by being cslled by his real name.

MHJ: You belong here. I respect you for coming to me.

CC I'm not done Jack. I have an issue I need to address, because it seems you have lost control over Benn.

Before he could finish Moose cuts him off.

MHJ: Your the second person to tell me that.

CC: I had a plan...statements yo make, and when I'm about to make it towards the IC title, I have it stolen from me! Dammit Jack, I did not sign up for this onlt to have a politician to screw me like I'm last weeks prostitute!

Carters voice has risen a bit where his voice carried. Everyone looks in thier direction, while Carter and Moose look at each other. Mooses expression looks thatvof either pissed off or impressed at Carter. Before anything continues, Puns vomes up to Carter and asks him to walk it off. He dores as Chloe speaks.

CH: Im sure its the medicatiin talking Jack...he's been through alot these past gew weeks, but... hes got a...

MHJ: point, I know.

Carter walks abit and seems calmed. He turns to Jack who is still looking at him! Carter goes to apologize but Jack can tell and nods...Carter nods back and turns back towards the bathroom. He makes a turn, when a drink crasged in front of him, getting all over his shirt!

CC: Im sorr...

Before he could finish, he stops and sees Alexis Darling...she looks at him and takes a step back waiting for him to pounce. But he doesnt. He looks at her, and walks past her ingo the bathroom vompartment.

FAAAAAAAADE

[BookerShark]

*All the happenings from the musical number have settled down as Ghosthead sits near the back of the plane, his head leaning back against the head rest, his eyes closed. He senses someone sit down in the seat next to him, a big someone.*

Ghost - Brother.

Stank - Red.

Ghost - Care to inform me on what just occurred?

Stank - What do you mean? You mean the musical number?

Ghost -

Stank -

Ghost -

Stank - I don't know... White people.

Ghost - Ah.

Stank - How are you... holding up?

Ghost - He asks because...?

Stank - Because I'm your brother and I'm...

Ghost - You may tell Moose that he need not fear my staking my claim to the World Title for now.

Stank - That's not why I'm here.

Ghost - Is it?

Stank - No.

Ghost -

Stank - Gotdamn it Red. Why you always keeping shit between us so fucking... adversarial?

Ghost - You are an adversary.

Stank - I'm your gotdamn brother.

Ghost - Nonetheless...

*Stank turns his head in annoyance and takes in a deep breath to suppress what he wants to say. Instead he attempts to switch topics.*

Stank - You heard from Shannon?

Ghost - She is well... ... I wish she was here.

Stank - And whose fau- I'm sorry. Look. You've been... erratic. Even for you. Like you were before. Like you were in Japan all those years ago.

Ghost - This is different.

Stank - So you don't deny it?

Ghost -

Stank - Jared. If you were anyone else with your history acting like you've been acting I wouldn't give two shits... but you're my brother and I'm concerned. You're either going get yourself killed, or kill someone else... maybe both.

Ghost - Maybe neither.

Stank -

Ghost - Nice to see you still have no confidence in me.

Stank - It's not that.

*Ghosthead opens his eyes and stares at his brother.*

Ghost - It's precisely that.

Stank -

Ghost -

Stank -

Ghost - I'm telling you this is different. I am not suffering from addiction to pain medication.

Stank - Then tell me what the fuck is going on with you.

Ghost - Jared Mann is fighting to get out.

Stank - You are Jared Mann.

Ghost - I am the Ghosthead Killer.

Stank - Oh for fuck's sake.

Ghost - Do not be naive brother. You more than anyone know what I mean.

Stank - Red. Ghosthead is a gimmick.

Ghost - The Saints of Sinners are a gimmick. Ghosthead is who I am.

Stank - You shut your gotdamn mouth. You talk like that and expect ME to think this is different than before?

*The expression on Ghosthead's face softens. There is a deep sadness in his eyes that nearly tears Stank apart despite its brief appearance. Ghosthead tightens his lips and shuts his eyes. When he reopens them he speaks to Stank with conviction.*

Ghost - Jared Mann was... weak. Ghosthead is strong. I know who I am.

Stank -

Ghost - It's okay brother. You do not have to look out for Jared anymore. I will take care of him.

Stank -

Ghost -

Stank - Red I will always look out for you.

*Ghosthead actually smiles a little.*

Ghost - You have your own path to walk.

Stank - I'm calling your wife.

Ghost - Do so. I'm sure she would be happy to hear from you.

Stank - There is something going on with you.

Ghost - ... Ever since... what happened with my wife... No... even before that... that old... anger has crept back in... somehow... it has something to do with... ... that's not important. Events need to unfold before I can act. I can hold out until then. So you needn't worry.

Stank - Right.

*Stank rises from his seat and starts to head back to where the rest of the Saints are seated, he turns back however with some parting words.*

Stank - You need me just call.

Ghost - That will not be necessary.

*Stank glares at his brother for a moment then turns and walks away as the camera fades.*

[BookerShark]

Meanwhile, Firewoman and Awesome Bill from Dawsonville are doing a duet

LAUREY/Firewoman

Why do they think up stories that link my name with yours?

CURLY/Awesome Bill

Why do the neighbors chatter all day, behind their doors?

LAUREY/Firewoman

I know a way to prove what they say is quite untrue.
Here is the gist, a practical list of "don'ts" for you.
Don't throw bouquets at me
Don't please my folks too much
Don't laugh at my jokes too much
People will say we're in love!
Don't sigh and gaze at me
Your sighs are so like mine
Your eyes mustn't glow like mine
People will say we're in love!
Don't start collecting things
Give me my rose and my glove.
Sweetheart they're suspecting things
People will say we're in love.

CURLY/Awesome Bill

Some people claim that you are to blame as much as I.
Why do y' take the trouble to bake my favorite pie?
Grantin' your wish, I carved our initials on that tree.
Jist keep a slice of all the advice you give so free.
Don't praise my charm too much
Don't look so vain with me
Don't stand in the rain with me
People will say we're in love!
Don't take my arm too much
Don't keep your hand in mine
Your hand feels so grand in mine
People will say we're in love!
Don't dance all night with me
Till the stars fade from above.
They'll see it's alright with me
People will say we're in love.

ABFD: I don't care what Miss Lexus there says. You singify might pretty.

FW: Aw, thanks Bill.

ABFD: *looking over at Alex who is trying to be anywhere else* Don't you be gettin' yer feathers all in a ruffle, Alabaster Darlington. I don't aim to try to steal your woman here....Just singin' a little song, that's all.

AD: Huh? Oh...right...good...I guess.

ABFD kisses Fire on the hand and then sits down next to a still catatonic Justin.

ABFD: See...that right-chere is how you woo the ladies, my man. You sing a pretty little song with Carmen Miranda there, and you'll be way ahead of that cowpoke Mad Chadison.

Justin says nothing, just remains catatonic.

[BookerShark]

*The Murphy's are sitting together*

DK: There's something I don't understand.

Dee: From what your girlfriends have told me over the years, there's a lot you don't understand.

DK: Very funny. I mean, how did you get us into that VIP lounge at the airport. I mean, we aren't even flying Japan Airlines, much less in first class, but we got free drinks, sushi, massages...

Dee: I showed them my business card.

DK: I never got a OOWF business card!

Dee: No, from my other job.

DK: WNBA players get business cards?

Dee: No, my other other job.

*She hands him a card*

DK: Associate Expediter, Wally B. King Enterprises?

Dee: Cousin Wally's big in Japan.

DK: So I've heard. What does an Associate Expediter do?

Dee: In my case, back up the VP of Expediting.

DK: Would that happen to be the mother of an OOWF wrestler?

Dee: You don't want to know.

[BookerShark]

DK: By the way, Gator sent me an email. A Japanese write-up of my match with Moose. He thought it might help you prepare.

*The ninja cameraman looks over DK's shoulder at his tablet*

Game is a vicious brawl in the vein of Outback Jack and mousse for a new generation. It seems a little shocked how much DK is handling himself Moose. Both men wind up bloody. However, lack of experience of this type of game takes a toll on DK finally, Moose will be able to get him to enter the FOREVER sleep before you get a win and lock in JI-ENDO. Moose looks to continue the game after the assault, Danny Taylor is a way, it is out to get in the MHJ that enrage the. He trying to attack both is coming out at the discretion decide is Danny, and is a saint so that the Wilder change Daniela, Firewoman, and dance. guards with tasers is probably a factor. However, images are fleeting foam mousse in the mouth to obtain a Taylor.

Dee: That somehow looks obscene.

DK: Gator being Gator?

[BookerShark]

*Ghostead hears another large person sit down next to him. He opens his eyes, and looks somewhat surprised to see Daniella Murphy sitting next to him*

Dee: We honoring the no fighting on the plane?

*Ghost nods*

Dee: That was one hell of a match, dude. When this plane ride is over I expect we go back to business as usual, but I have to offer my respect to you as a competitor.

Ghost: I am...surprised.

Dee: I have had a lot of conversations with my dad about having more than one person in the same body. Definitely not the same as your situation. Frankly, sucks to be you. But,as an athlete and a warrior, you have my respect.

*Daniella stands up, holds out a fist, and Ghosthead shares a fist bump*

[BookerShark]

(Chloe, sans iPad, fumes as she watches Firewoman's crazed Oklahoma obsession as Moosehead Jack enjoys another brew.)

Chloe: Sisters. They're all nuts.

Moose: True.

Chloe: I mean, Oklahoma? Really? The only reason Texas doesn't fall into the Gulf of Mexico is that OKLAHOMA SUCKS!

(Most of the White Hats turn to glare at Chloe. Texpress turns and smiles.)

Chloe: That includes the stupid musical too.

LD: Fuck.

Stank: What's that gotdamned woman up to now?

Chloe: Oklahoma Sucks, Rodgers and Hammerstein Suck, Gordon McRae and Shirley Jones Suck, Carousel, State Fair, South Pacific, The King and I, Cinderella, Flower Drum Song, The Sound of Music. Giant huge douchebags of SUCK!

(Chloe's eyes are filled with hate and anger and you could cut the tension on the plane with a knife.)

Chloe: Bernstein. West. Side. Story. THAT'S a Musical!

(We hear music starting up and a collective groan from the crew.)

Chloe: Action, drama, thrills, and most importantly, great music.

(Alexis, Miranda, and Daniella move toward Chloe in a non-threating manner as she begins to sing.)

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

(Alexis, Miranda, and Daniella begin to sing)


Have you met my good friend Maria,
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her,
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.

She thinks she's in love.
She thinks she's in Spain.
She isn't in love,
She's merely insane.

It must be the heat
Or some rare disease,
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it's fleas.

Keep away from her,
Send for Chino!
This is not the
Maria we know!

Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!

(The music stops as Chloe turns and glares at the three women.

Chloe: Let's just jump to the final chorus.

Lexie: Probably a good idea.

(The music resumes as all four sing.)

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

(The women head back to their seats.)

Miranda: I'm the Latina, why couldn't I be Maria?

Lexie: Talk to Fire. She's the one with the Oklahoma obsession.

Daniella: Better yet, ask Natalie Wood. Oh, wait....

(Chloe sits down dejected and grabs another brew as we....)

FADE

[BookerShark]

We see Matt Folz shaking his head in disgust as the impromptu Broadway medley continues. Jaime just looks at him and smiles.

MF: What are you grinning at?

JM: ...

MF: What?

JM (Smiles): Our turn.

MF: You've gotta be kidding me. I don't even KNOW any Broadway songs.

JM: Since we've been dating, you've taken me to two musicals and a feature film based off another one. AND you've bought the soundtracks, you know songs. Just do one off of Rock of Ages.

MF: You're not going to drop this are you?

JM: Still a long flight to Japan, the fuck else we have to do?

MF: Fine.

Matt and Jaime stand up.



MF: So long, I've been looking too hard
I've been waiting too long
Sometimes I don't know what I will find
I only know it's a matter of time
When you love someone, oh yeah, when you love someone


JM: It feels so right, so warm and true
I need to know if you feel it too


MF: Maybe I'm wrong
Won't you tell me if I'm coming on too strong


JM: This heart of mine has been hurt before
This time I wanna be sure


MF: I've been waiting for a girl like you
To come into my life
I've been waiting for a girl like you
Your loving will survive


JM: I've been waiting for someone new
To make me feel alive


MF: Yeah, waiting


JM: I've been waiting for a boy like you


MF: For a girl like you


Together: To come into my life



JM: You're so good
When we make love it's understood
It's more than a touch or a word can say
Only in dreams could it be this way
When you love someone, yeah
Really love someone

I've been waiting for a boy like you
To come into my life
Yeah, waiting for someone new


Together: To make me feel alive


The couple sit down and wait for the show to continue as we..... FADE

[BookerShark]

Amazing Jos, Christian Carter, Jeremy Punswick and Jason Allen are on board the private Jet of "Loony Bin Championship Wrestling" owner, "Billy Corgan". They are flying from Japan to Canada for the big LBCW show in Toronto on Saturday.

Jos and Allen Sit next to each other in the front, while Punswick and Carter sit in the back of the jet, looking out his window.

Jason: *looks to Jos who's pissed* Hey man, just hang in there. I know you wanna kill that bastard Punswick after all he's done to you, but you know the rule of no fighting on the jet.

Jos: *sneers before looking out the window*

Jason: Chill. We land in Toronto in a few hours. You will finally get your hands on him in an LBCW ring, so cool your "jets".

Jos: *Darby Sigh while looking out the window* You worry about your match, buddy boy. And i'm not talking about "El Bloombito and Hijo De Miguel".

Jason: *Eyes widen, almost like he didn't expect Jos to be that aggressive* You talkin' OOWF?

Jos: *Darby sigh then rolls his eyes* I'm Just playin.

Jason: No you're not!

Jos: Ok, maybe just a little. Look "doode". It's taking all my willpower not to walk up to Punswick and throw him out this mutha-funkin' jet. Just leave me alone and stop talking? You're just getting on my nerves.

Jason: I'm just trying to mellow you out, ya cry baby! Chill out.

Jos: Leave me the fuck alone and i'll chill out!

Jason: Screw you! I'll be back once your panties are untangled.

*Jason walks to the row behind him and starts kicking the back of Jos' seat*

Jos: *Looking back and yells* JASON! Damn son, quit your shit!

Jason: *Smirking* Oh, i'm sorry, I wasn't saying anything. *continues kicking*

Jos: *Looking at Carter and Punswick, smirking at the scene* *Shifts eyes back to Jason* I am NOT playing! Quit your shit or ....

Jason: *interrupts* OR WHAT, Jos?!

Jos: *Tries to restrain himself from fighting on the plane* One more time, Jason. Stop acting like a little BITCH and you won't get SLAPPED like ONE!

*There's an awkward silence as everyone on the plane stop what they're doing. Jos looks at the stewardess who is worried and Carter/Puns who are laughing in the back of the jet.*

Carter: Trouble in Paradise, ladies?

*Jos is embarrassed and quickly bops down on his seat.*

Jason: Calm down ya big baby! I'll quit, before they land the plane in bum fuck Egypt. *goes from the row behind Jos, to his old seat.* You need to lighten up bro.

Jos: *Turning red and eyes glossy* I'm trying to hold it together brotha. If I lose the LBCW title tonight to Punswick, I might lose it in OOWF.

Jason: First off, you need to relax about Punswick. We all know he can't beat you clean in a 1 on 1 match. It's in his home country, but i'm sure even Canadians are embarrassed about Puns being Canadian. Second, you are right about one thing. You can worry about losing that "OOWF Onslaught Title" when I beat you for it, on Wednesday! *Wink!*

Jos: *A look of worry comes over the face of the champ* I'm not talking about my Onslaught title, Jason. I'm talking about my mind.

Jason: *A sympathetic look comes over his face before he pats Jos on the back* Take it easy there champ. Keep it together so Punswick doesn't notice anything is wrong before your title match. I'll see if the stewardess can get you a drink to calm your nerves, ok?

Jos: Shibby. I'm just gonna take a nap before we get to Canada. Wake me up before we touch ground. 

Jason: *Pounds fists with Jos* That's cool champ. If I wasn't such a great guy, I woulda totally fucked with your head when you opened up, just to get an advantage at our match. 

Jos: *Rolls over to face the other side to ignore Jason*

Jason: Dude, Can you believe how much we've flown this week? Unreal


*end*

[BookerShark]

Firewoman was sitting next to Alexander during Folz and Jaime's song, arms folded, scowling.

AD: What?

FW: "Rock of Ages" isn't a REAL musical. It's a slapshod mish-mash of popular music, most of it crappy, designed to give a big nostalgia rush to the people who grew up in the 1980s and now have some disposable income. Andrew Lloyd Webber may be accused of being pop-schmaltzy but he at least composed new music.

AD: Hey, now, I like Phantom.

FW: You would. And besides...THEY are not the super couple of the OOWF.

AD: The what?

FW: You heard me.

Out of my dreams and into your arms I long to fly
I will come as evening comes to woo a waiting sky.
Out of my dreams and into the hush of falling shadows,
When the mist is low and stars are breaking through
Then out of my dreams I'll go Into a dream with you.
Won't have to make up anymore stories
You'll be there!
Think of the bright midsummer night
Glories we can share.
Won't have to go on kissing a daydream
I'll have you
You'll be real
Real as the white moon lighting the blue.
Out of my dreams and into your arms I long to fly
I will come as evening comes to woo a waiting sky.
Out of my dreams and into the hush of falling shadows,
When the mist is low and stars are breaking through
Then out of my dreams I'll go
Into a dream with you.

Firewoman turns to Folz and Jaime

FW: So THERE!

Fire sits back down. Alex smirks.

FW: WHAT?

AD: You're very romantic when your medicines interact with each other, and with whiskey. In a...weird kind of way.

FW: Shut up...also...

Fire stands and directs towards the Saints of Sinners.

FW: ...We aren't leaving New York or Puerto Rico. When we are I'll be happy to Jets-and-Sharks it up with you.

Fire sits down in a huff as Alex chuckles to himself.

[BookerShark]

<The plane is in a bit of a grumpy mood, having just been bombarded with cheesy showtunes, but does that stop Voice Over Guy? no it does not!>

<VOG>
Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best

And always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the light side of life

<Eco - after Joker glares at him>
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing

And always look on the bright side of life
Come on!

<everyone>
Always look on the right side of life

<The Word - in a beautiful baritone voice>
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin
Give the audience a grin
Enjoy it, it's your last chance anyhow

<everyone>
So, always look on the bright side of death
A-just before you draw your terminal breath

<Mosehead Jack>
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you

<everyone>
And always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life

<Fire>
C'mon Brian, cheer up!

<everyone>
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the bright side of life

<Alex>
Worse things happen at sea, you know
Always look on the bright side of life

<Chris Evans>
I mean, what have you got to lose
You know, you come from nothing, you're going back to nothing
What have you lost? Nothing!

<Everyone>
Always look on the right side of life...

<Voice Over Guy>
Nothing will come from nothing, you know what they say?
Cheer up you old bugger, c'mon give us a grin!
There you are, see, it's the end of the flight
Incidentally, this recording is available on oowfshopzone.com
Some of us have to got live as well, you know

Who do you think pays for all this rubbish
They're not gonna make their money back, you know
I told them, I said to them, Bennett, I said they'll never make their money back...

<fade>