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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:34:51 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem!
Live! From Wheellockville, Massachusetts
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Chris Cole vs. Seraph
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Altrageous vs. Sriram
OOWF World Tag Team Title Three Way Dance[/u]
kz vs. The Team From Down Under vs. The Devil's Brigade
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
Thim Reynolds vs. Blackdragon
Concrete TG vs. Jim Jones
Firechild vs. Eric O'Mac
UnderDawg vs. Apocalyptic Existence
Capellan vs. Uncle Entity
Drink & Destroy vs. The Halfrican Americans
The New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000 vs. The Chickenshit Heels
Ax-Man vs. Canadian Dragon
Card subject to rain delay
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:35:17 GMT -5
Capellan storms into the Rick's office,
"What is this crap?" he demands.
"Looks like a match card."
"Yeah, and it has me wasting my time futzing about with Uncle Entity?" Capellan slams his hand on the Rick's desk, "What's that about? Alt pusses his way out of yet another match ... a match I won ... and you give him the week off?"
"Seraph's a tough competitor –"
Cap waves that off.
"Yep, and the second he has Alt on the ropes, Alt'll go for a count-out or DQ loss. You may as well not put them in a match at all."
"And how would this be different if Alt faced you?"
"Because I'd want the match under Onslaught Rules."
"Alt'd never go for it."
Capellan shrugs,
"So sweeten the deal. Tell him if he wants me out of his hair, this is his escape clause. If he beats me in a no time limit Onslaught Rules match, I don't get another shot at the IC belt for the rest of his reign."
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:36:03 GMT -5
Stank returns from lookiing at the card to find FF Capslock mulling over his choices at a vending machine.
S- Hey, buddy. We finally got another match as a team.
FFC- Yeah, I saw. That's gonna be awesome, dude.
S- So, yeah. Looks like we gotta fight The Halfrican Americans.
FFC- No. Drink & Destroy are fighting the Halfrican Americans. We're fighting the Chickenshit Heels because in my absence you somehow let our awesome name get stolen by an ungrateful roided up ass and his leviathan of a queer tag team partner...not that I'm bitter...
S- You sure?
FFC- Yeah. Besides, we have a pretty cool name. We're The New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000.
S- Really? Did I agree to this?
FFC- Yeah.
S- When?
FFC- In the bar after 12 castro coladas.
S- Ah.
FFC- So now, everytime you see our name on a marqee you can think about what you've done.
S- You sure you aren't pissed about losing the name?
FFC- ITS FINE!!!
S- Okay, cool. New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000 forever, right?
FFC- You bet'cha.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:36:24 GMT -5
<Moose and LD Williams are in the locker room>
MHJ: You know, Chris Cole said something interesting the other day. He made the claim that 3Piece Set were the greatest tag team in OOWF history. Now, if I recall correctly, me and Crete beat you for the tag titles. But that is not my point. My point is, I have had people come up to me all day and ask "Moose what did you and Williams do to piss Rick off? You got the Aussies AND the Devil's at Mayhem!"
The simple fact is this we didn't piss off anyone. Me and Williams asked for the Devil's to be in this match. See, whether you like us or not makes no difference to us at all. We have already destroyed those idiots Adrenaline and Capps, next in line are the Aussies and the Devil's, and soon enough, Williams and I will stand among the broken, bloody bodies of all the other teams in the OOWF, and like us or hate us, you will have no choice but to call us the best
LDW: It's nothing personal, it's just the way things are, you get in the ring with us, and you are gonna bleed and you are gonna suffer, and in the end, you are gonna lose, That's just the way it's gotta be.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:36:45 GMT -5
<Scene: Hospital rehab facility.....>
Uncle T'Zhou - No, no, no! Too clumsy, too slow! You have to do it again!
<JW and Wilder are standing on one foot on a balance beam, each holding a man sized sandbag, sweat pouring off of them....>
Wilder: Old dude - WHY are we doing this again?
UT: To help you heal. Get back what you have lost, and what you never had.
JWW: What are you talking about? The titles? We'll get those.
UT: Not the titles, you big oaf. Your center, your spirit - your chi.
TW: OK, I can dig the accupuncture, and the herbal medicine, but want to explain why we're doing this Xao-lin obstacle course?
UT: Because you are slow! And clumsy!
TW: DUDE! Have you ever SEEN Us in the ring? I the guy who pulled the 720 twisting plash off the top of the scaffold!
UT: Yes - you fall like a wounded yak.
TW: DUDE!
JWW: Now come on - he was hurt, and that was still a hell of a move! But this... I mean, is this really going to help us?
<UT grabs a sandbag, and lofts it over his shoulders. He runs up the beam, hops to a second beam, spins around both Wilder and Westgaard, before doing a front flip landing - THEN puts down the sandbag.>
UT: I fail to see the problem. If this is too difficult, perhaps I cheer for the wrong team. Perhaps this you team of "Halfrican Americans"....
TW: HUH? That's COLD!
JWW: Fine, fine fine... we get the point. C'mon kid, lets aling our chakras or some shit.....
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:37:10 GMT -5
**kz are in the locker room post interview.**
LD: “Actually Moose, now that I think about it, what DID we do to piss The Rick off?”
MHJ: “What do you mean?”
LD: “A match against the Aussies and the Devils…with rules?? Now we gotta arrange for Mel to get the match and pay him off again. We can swing it, but even the money I won from Adrena-idiot is gonna run out eventually.”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:37:39 GMT -5
Stank and FFC are still standing in front of the vending machine when Attitude Adjuster walks up.
AA - Excuse me.
Stank and FFC glare at AA then part ways so AA can make a selection. He deposits 50 cents...
AA - Either of you two got a quarter?
Stank hands AA 25 cents. AA deposits the coin then selects C3. The Texas Cinnamon Roll slooooowly makes it's way to the front and hangs at the edge, just prior to falling to the bin below. AA shakes the vending machine, but the roll stubbornly clings to it's position.
AA - DAMN IT!
Stank and FFC laugh!
AA - Stop LAUGHING AT ME!
The outburst causes The New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000 to laugh even more.
AA - THAT'S IT! You will rue the day! RUE I SAY! At Mayhem it's YOU TWO against ME and JOHNNY... .... ... IN A VENDING MACHINE MATCH!
AA kicks the vending machine one more time, the pastry holds fast, and AA storms off in anger!
FFC - Ha Ha that Alan SLAYS me I tell ya!
Stank - Uh... What the hell is a vending machine match!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:45:23 GMT -5
as Stank and Capslock leave, up walks Tommy O'Neil and spies the Cinnamon Roll dangling ever so tasty like...so he plops in 75 cents, and buys another.
Both rolls fall into the bin, Tommy pulls them out and yells,
"ey 'Arpa I got some grub ta go wit da Guiness!!!!!"
As he turns into the Devils brigade locker Room he hears AA shout from towrds the vending Machines.
GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:45:44 GMT -5
<Moosehead Jack walks into GM the Rick's office>
GMtR: What do you want Jack, I am busy
MHJ: THis will only take a second, it is about our match at Mayhem...
GMtR: I figured you two would have second thoughts about it. Look, it is already set, I can't go taking teams out of the match at the last second..
MHJ: No, that's not it. Williams had a good idea. Let's make this a no disqualification, anything goes match
<GMtR just stares at Jack incredulously>
MHJ: Is there a problem with that?
GMtR: You two have a deathwish don't you?
MHJ: The more blood and violence the better
GMtR: It's your funerals, fine, its a no DQ anything goes match.
MHJ: Perfect
<Jack leaves GM the Rick's office with a sadistic grin on his face>
GMtR: Sick bastards
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:46:09 GMT -5
## As Moose leaves theRicks office he comes across Thim Reynolds looking over the lineup for MM and laughing . . . Moose claps THim on the shoulder
MHJ: what's up big guy??
TR: have you seen this?? Have you seen who my challenger for the Onslaught title is this week
MHJ: who?
TR: Blackdragon!! For gods sake Blackdragon . . . I was tempted pull the same stunt as last time and try to weedle my way out of the week after week title matches but there's no point if theRick is just going to give me warm up matches like this
MHJ: Blackdragon?? He's been around a bit, he's no green chump
TR: oh come on. Did you see his match last week, an STF!! The guy's a bloody John Cena wannabe
MHJ: ouch!! He ain't gonna like that
TR: ask me if I give a rats ass . . . I'm gonna brush him aside like he's not there and then I'll have to go and talk to theRick about getting some serious challengers arranged for this belt - I need the competition to stop me getting bored
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:46:29 GMT -5
(CTG is heard swearing up a storm from down a hallway. for some reason the Invisible Ninja cameraman is out of position and walks in on a ring, where CTG is tapping out to Sabu's Camel Clutch. LADDER is oberving from outside the ring)
CTG: #%^*$%^#@$#~!!!
Sabu: (finally drops the hold and shakes his head)
CTG: (Rolling out of the ring) what the hell? I've wrestled all kinds of matches and should have taken the Onslaught title off that throwback Jim Jones.....
(LADDER looks down on CTG)
CTG: I don't need your lecturing! Thim Reynolds is a lot tougher than Jones.
(Sabu shakes his head again, but CTG doesn't see him)
CTG: and why am I fighting Jones AGAIN? It's not a #1 contender's match.....
(LADDER stands firm)
CTG: I CAN beat him.... I know I can beat him, and I can beat him without a weapon. the last thing I need is my record to fall into the Loser section. I'm even right now and I don't need another loss to make me look like I'm becoming a jobber for this company.
(Sabu nods, LADDER doesn't budge)
CTG: Fine. But I know I've got the technical end of this covered. How many times do I have to fight Jim Jones before someone figures that out?
Sabu: Not just any girl will hug you while wrapped in barbed wire.
(CTG turns to face Sabu, completely confused. Fade to Black)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:46:53 GMT -5
*In TTFDU's locker room, OBJ and WBK are eating some sort of barbecue while Gator is talking on a cell phone connected by a cable to his laptop. He appears to be reading from the screen while listening.*
GB: Bottom line is we don't like you and you don't like us, mate, but we've got some common interests. We've all got to watch out for KZ tricks. They've been talking to 3 Piece Set, you know....Wally's got his sources...Moose will throw you guys under the bus in a heartbeat, not that I'm telling you anything you don't already know...can you say that again...right, when he gets back from his B12 shot let him know what I said.
WBK: How'd it go?
GB: Well, at least with Babelfish I understand most of what he's saying.
*OBJ drinks and belches*
WBK: What?
OBJ: Nothing - I just belched, mate. C'mon Gator, try some of this. Steve fixed me up with a shipment of one of our old favorites.
*GM The Rick walks in*
WBK: G'day, mate. Need some special secretarial services arranged?
GMTR: We can talk about that later. I just got a call from the WWF.
OBJ: Johnny Ace must have realized that he needs us. About time he put that little incident in Okinawa behind him.
GB: I told you he'd get over it someday. And we're not to far from Stamford!
GMTR: Not the WWE, you idiots! The World Wildlife Foundation called. Something about a rare Australian lizard being shipped to the arena here. I don't remember giving permission for any animal mascots, much less an endangered species.
*GB puts his arm around the Rick's shoulders and steers him away from WBK using his pimp cane to slide a trash can, containing what appears to be the carcass of a large reptile, out of sight.*
GB: Sounds like something KZ might get up to. I'd watch out for that Moosehead Jack. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to undermine your authority, not that I'm telling you anything you don't already know.
GMTR: Let me worry about that. Hey, what are you guys eating? Smells pretty good!
OBJ: Roadkill possum. Found it on the drive up here. Wanna try some? Tastes like chicken.
GMTR: Er, I'll take a rain check. if you hear anything about that lizard, let me know.
WBK: No worries, mate!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:47:14 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams runs into Thim Reynolds in the hallway.**
TR: “Williams.”
LD: “Two things. One, Blackdragon is one of the toughest guys in this company. Take him lightly and you’ll be the former Onslaught Champion. Two, using an STF does NOT make one a John Cena wannabe.”
**Williams turns to leave, then turns back**
“Keep mocking my finisher and you’ll have bigger problems then Blackdragon. Alliance or no alliance.”
**Williams walks away before Thim can respond.**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:47:36 GMT -5
(A Jaguar drives up to a pub, The Irish Bradley's McGillicutty Broughe. A man in a black hoodie adorned with anarchy symbols steps out and walks into the pub.)
Man: Excuse me...
Bartender: Aye. What'll it be?
Man: Directions.
Bartender: No directions without a drink, mate.
Man: Really now. Do you know who I am? (The man removes his hood to reveal dyed hair...Ecosystem.)
Bald man in kilt: JACKIE CHAN!
Bartender: That's not Jackie Chan, you stupid bloke! It's Bruce Lee! Please, Bruce Lee, have a seat.
Ecosystem: Um. I'm okay. Can you give me directions to Wheellockville? I've got a wrestling show to go see.
Bartender: Aye. Seamus, give me a pen. (He begins writing directions.) Gonna go see Moosehead Jack and LD Williams beat up some fools, are ye?
Ecosystem: MOOSEHEAD?
Bartender: AND LD!
Ecosystem: O RLY?
Bartender: YA RLY!
Ecosystem: NO WAI!
Bartender: AYE WAI! So, here are you directions, Best be gettin' going. Want a beer for the road?
Ecosystem: I'm all right, thanks.
(Ecosystem walks outside and bumps into a kid on crutches.)
Kid: Look sir. A shiny thing. (Holds out Eco's Jaguar hood ornament) Won't you buy it, sir? I need to pay for my operation...
(Eco kicks the crutches out from under the kid and stomps on his head, snatching the ornament back.)
Eco: URGH! I need superglue.
Kid: Ow....
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:47:57 GMT -5
*Spin Hansen and Josh O'Neal make their entrance to the ring, decked out in Drink & Destroy merchandise.*
SH: Stank... Caps... it's nice to see that you're up to your old tricks again. The same kind of tricks that prove that you're not hardcore enough to be called Drink & Destroy.
JO: Go ahead. Call me names. Say that I'm ungrateful for what you did for me. Take a shot. I don't care.
SH: We know that it's tearing you up inside to see us using Drink & Destroy. But your time is over. Our time is now. And there's not a thing that you can do to get this name back from us... so keep on fighting amongst others. Have a ball... knock yourselves out... but we'll always live up to the principles of the name more than you two ever did.
JO: Have fun getting destroyed.
SH: Enough about that, though. The most pressing matter of business today is that of the Halfrican Americans. Fly... Nayr... you two seem to be masters of what some call "Flippy shit." The only problem is, boys... it's kind of hard to be flying around when you've been knocked unconcious.
JO: LIGHTS OUT!!!
SH: Josh... save it for the match. As I was saying... you two are going to get lit up tonight.
*Spin & Josh each pull out an official Drink & Destroy flask with Caps and Stank's names obliterated with a Sharpie, and make their way backstage, drinking and mocking the fans.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:48:18 GMT -5
*The camera fades from black to show Canadian Dragon sitting on top of a ladder in the middle of an OOWF ring.*
CD: "You know, since I've come back, Cole has been very quiet. Seems to me like he's a hard man to find. But you see, that's ok. He can enjoy being the champ for now, because it's just a matter of time before I beat him. As for you, Ax-Man...wrong place, wrong time. Just make sure your health insurance is paid up, ok?"
*The video feed cuts quickly to a replay of last week's MidWeek Mayhem and Dragon hitting Ax with the Canadian Destroyer before fading to black.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:48:38 GMT -5
Stank - It says here that whoever eats three... bags of Doritos... before the time expires, wins fall number 1. Fall number 2 takes place after an opponent is forced to belch from consecutive cans of Sprite.
FFC - It has to be Sprite?
Stank - Get this... the third and final fall takes place once an opponent... squeezes all the... filling... from a Hostess Apple pie? Fuck me man. What the hell is this?
FFC - I just can't believe a vending machine match is actually in the books. Who is going to provide us with all the change needed?
Stank - It's only a couple of bucks.
FFC - I don't carry that much change.
Stank - Never MIND THAT! Your buddy Alan has flipped his wig!
FFC - Well first of all he's NOT my buddy. Second I don't think Rick will ever go for this match anyway.
Stank - I know. Where's the violence? You'd think you'd have to win by driving your victim through a Dr. Pepper Machine or SOMETHING! That's a least what I was expecting.
FFC - No, Rick won't allow this match for a different reason.
Stank - Why's that?
FFC - Cause it says here that a Vending Machine match can ONLY be officiated by the sitting GM to ensure something they call... ultra fairness.
Stank - Who the hell wrote this shit?
An evil monkey bursts into the locker room and points angrily at Stank.
Stank - Ah... Altrageous. It's all starting to make sense.
FFC - Uh... Dude? That's not Altrageous.
Stank - It isn't? Looks like him.
FFC - That's a writer monkey my friend.
Stank - Ohhhhh. I didn't recognize him without my pride.
FFC - You have pride?
Stank - I used to.
FFC - Was that before or after you were called Stank?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:49:03 GMT -5
[The Chickenshit Heels are chilling out backstage.]
AA: The who?
JA: That's what I said.
RF: AMERICAN WOMAN! WHOOOOOOOO!!!
JA: Not THAT Who. The who as in "who we are facing this week." The New Classic... somethin, somethin 2000 Blackjacks or something like that.
AA: I've never heard of them.
JA: Must be "enhancement talent." We haven't had a good squash in... well, ever. Besides, everybody knows that putting "New" in front of a team name is the kiss of death. And we KNOW it's not gonna be Lanza and Mulligan, and even if it was, they're like collecting social security by now, so we'd squash them, too.
AA: Good, that means we can goof off this week rather than scheme and prepare. Another sandwich, Naitch.
RF: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
AA: [biting sandwich] Oh, I kinda challenged Drink & Destroy to a vending machine match at Mayhem.
JA: YOU WHAT??
AA: My cinnamon roll got stuck in the machine, and my temper got the best of me. Sorry.
JA: Was there a contract?
AA: No.
JA: Then it's not binding. We're not booked against them this week. We got some jobbers, remember.
AA: Good.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:49:35 GMT -5
<OOWF World Heavyweight Champion “The Main Event” Chris Cole is sitting in a chair with the OOWF World Heavyweight Title draped over his right shoulder. He looks right into the camera as it pans closer.>
Cole: You work so hard all your life with one goal in mind. To be The World Heavyweight Champion. You fight you way up from the indies. You become World Champion for them and then you move to the greener pastures. WWE may think they are the number one promotion but we all know that the real wrestlers are here in the OOWF. So I came here with the goal of becoming the World Heavyweight Champion. Less then two years later and I’m here holding onto the biggest prize in this business. This title means the world to me. It means that I am THE best. THE Main Event. I’m headlining shows day in and day out and defeating all challengers. Canadian Dragon, you are not in my league. You are a pint sized runt. This isn’t the WWE. Midgets will not hold onto the OOWF Title and I am not losing to one. You are a freak show. A flash in the pan. You are a spot machine and NOT the total package that I am. Next time we meet I’m going to finish you for good. This week Seraph is getting another crack at the Gold. Haven’t you learned your lessons? You keep messing with The Set and you keep getting burned. Well I’m sick of you as well. Canadian Dragon, I hope you are watching this week. What I do to Seraph is just the tip of the iceberg for what I’m going to do TO YOU!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:50:09 GMT -5
Still photos of the brush fires in Spain pan across the screen.
Firechild stands on a windswept hillside.
"Being on holiday is nice...."
"But Im back and in full effect and its time that certain people in this company remembered what it is to burn, and tonight, at Midweek Mayhem, Eric O Mac is gonna learn just that, no excuses about being pushed over by the ref, no complaints, because I dont like you Mac, and it seems Ive been spending too much time taking a back seat and letting others take the glory. No more, I am going to make an example of you, and you will be my sacrificial offering. Your consent is not required, your fate is assured."
He makes to walk of, then leans in close to the camera and talks in a conspiratorial tone.
"Oh, and Seraph, remember what happened the last time you tangled with the 3PS. You wernt in my league, and youre sure as hell not in Cole's league, your not 'main event' material, your just a bush league evangelistic bum. Remember that."
He walks out of shot, as a fresh gust of wind blows the grass he was standing on aflame.....
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:50:44 GMT -5
Fly walks up to Nayr. He is holding in his hands two small brown paper bags.
Fly: Yo, Nayrizzy, check dis out.
Nayr: What you got der homie?
Fly: So I’m thinkin’ since we be about to tango wit Drink N’ Destroy, dat we shood drink. I brought us some O.E., beyotch! hands over one of the brown paper bags to Nayr.
Nayr: O.E.? What is that?
Fly: All da hoodrats drink dis, yo. You a real playa, right?
Nayr: Of course. Hesitantly takes a swig of the O.E. and then spits it out. UGH! It tastes like piss.
Fly: Recognize fool.
Nayr: I mean. You dis taste like pizzle for shizzle.
Fly: Yo, you just ain’t as Fly a s me. takes a drink and then makes a sour face like he is about to spit it out. He sees Nayr looking at him closely and he forces it down. See, das the way we roll.
Nayr nods and walks off. Fly looks at the bottle again in disgust.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:51:05 GMT -5
FFC and Stank finish watching the Chickenshit Heels promo...
FFC - Did you see that?
Stank - It was after I BONED your sister!
FFC - ... what.
Stank - oooh Burn baby!
FFC - What the fuck man?
Stank - You asked me when I lost my pride.
FFC - ... ... oh HA HA! Yeah you got me there buddy! A little late on the delivery, but good one!
Stank - Thanks.
FFC - Speaking of good ones your mom...
Stank - Whoa Whoa WHOA! You know how I am with momma jokes.
FFC - This ain't no joke... I fucked your mom.
Stank - ...
FFC - HA!
Stank - ... ... How was she?
FFC - Your momma is so fat... when I layed down on her stomach I rolled twce and I was still in the middle!
Stank - Sorta like your mom who was so fat she was from both sides of the family!
FFC - THAT'S WHY there was only one row at her funeral! I was wondering.
Stank - Ha ha ha... is this skit getting uncomfortable?
FFC - We haven't quite reached (Vickie Guerrero angles in the WWE) levels yet... anyway were you paying attention to Alan and Johnny?
Stank - Yeah did you notice how they...
FFC - SHHHHH!
Stank - What?
FFC - Don't spill it.
Stank - What? I was just gonna comment on how clueless...
FFC - SHHHHHHHHHH!!
Stank - What?
FFC - They're cameras around, man!
Stank - So?
FFC - Christ talk about clueless! C'mere!
FFC wraps his arm around Stank's shoulder and turns their backs to the camera. Lock whispers in Stank's ear.
Stank - OHHHH! Sorry.
FFC - You with me?
Stank - Right... I'm gonna... I'm gonna go wish The New Original Classic New Blackjacks 2000 good luck in their match.
FFC - Yeah they'll NEED it!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:51:33 GMT -5
Attitude Adjuster is seen in his locker room, very frustrated.
AA: This absolutely sucks!
JA: What's the matter. Is Ric out of mayo?
AA: No, it's even worse. Our OOWF-TV remote control is on the fritz!
JA: No way!
AA: Way!
JA: So we can't see what everyone else is doing right now?
AA: Exactly!
JA: Well, let's not get too upset about this. Tell me what happened?
AA: Well, I went to turn on OOWF-TV because I wanted to see if the New Original Classic Blackjacks 2000 had cut a promo or anything. I pushed the "on" button and nothing happened. The remote is broken! So I spent all day yesterday finding a shop that would fix the remote. You'd think people had never heard of an OOWF-TV remote! What kind of wanker town are we in right now? Finally I found a guy, and he charged me $200 an hour to fix it! Said it would take until Thursday!
JA: Ummm, did you happen to check the batteries?
AA: No, I'm telling you it's broke! I pushed the button and it didn't do anything! There obviously wasn't any power going from the remote to the tele...batteries?
JA: You shithead...Ok, let's go find the place where you dropped off the remote. Damn, sometimes I wonder about you, AA.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:52:05 GMT -5
[Johnny and AA are leaving the building in search of the OOWF-TV Remote]
JA: Why didn't we just go to Ric's and watch OOWF-TV there?
AA: Cause that would require walking down to Ric's to watch it. I'd much rather watch it in the comfort of our own locker room. I mean, we got the hot tub.
JA: I am not a homo...
AA: And on top of... you can't be swiping catchphrases like that!
JA: Well, I'm not. Besides, I mean rather than going all the way out to some podunk electronic repair shop looking for our remote, we could walk about 50 in that direction and watch it there. Or hell, even STEAL the remote.
AA: It's the PRINCIPLE of the matter, Johnny. I'm talking about comfort here.
JA: [mumbling] No wonder you're fat...
AA: Huh?
JA: Never mind. You know, if we're just looking to scout these guys, maybe we should try the video closet. That worked before, remember...
AA: I already did. There ain't NOTHIN' on these guys. I mean, they didn't wrestle on that WWA Aussie tour a few years back. Not even Superbrawl Saturday!!
JA: These guys must be like local indy guys or something. We got nothin to worry about.
AA: Well, let's get the remote anyway. If they're local guys, the guy at the store might know about them.
[TCH makes it to the parking lot as we fade out.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 30, 2008 14:52:33 GMT -5
(CTG is hurrying through the hallway talking on his cellphone)
CTG: yeah? .... of course I watched, congratulations.... how did you get LADDER in the building, anyway? .... I'm not gonna ask how he was riding with you.... the ROOF? No wonder you got pulled over.... what were you doing in Sikesville, anyway? .... Rob wasn't with you? ... yeah, you guys looked great in the ring, didn't realize Rob had worked with LADDER before... what?.... how many?.... you guys have GOT to watch the speed limits out there!.... what?... In Boston I think they DO bust people for caffeine, I put my bags under some junk in my backseat.... right.... okay, but if I'm late for my match with Jim Jones you're paying your OWN bail.....
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