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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:33:32 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Bedlam Corner, Connecticut
OOWF Intercontinental Title Fatal Three Way[/u] Chris Evans vs. Davin Moreland vs. Mai Muyo
Non-Title Chain Match[/u] Stan Fulton vs. Comrade Sharkoff
Non-Title Texas Tornado Match[/u] The Flyin Hawaiians vs. LD Williams & Stank vs. Danny Taylor & El Lobo Sangriento
Alexander Darling vs. Psykle vs. Moosehead Jack vs. Ricky Soaring Eagle Firewoman vs. Ecosystem Ghosthead vs. Rabbit Mask Texpress vs. Matt Folz & JP Sparxx Firechild vs. AA Honcho Williams vs. Outback Jack
Card subject to John Laurenitis approval
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:34:17 GMT -5
*Davin is leaving a Dunkin' Donuts, and is about to head toward the highway. We hear a couple of beeps, and we see Davin talk to no one. OR IS HE~?!?!?!*
DM: *beep beep* Siri, how long until I get home?
S: *beep beep* Should take about 42 minutes.
DM: Good. *beep beep* Siri, is the new lineup out for this week?
S: *beep beep* The new lineup sure is out for this week.
DM: *beep beep* Will you read me next week's lineup, Siri?
S: *beep beep* OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Bedlam Corner, Connecticut. OOWF Intercontinental Title Fatal Three Way Chris Evans vs. Davin Moreland vs. Mai Muyo---
DM: What? *beep beep* Siri, repeat that last sentence.
S: *beep beep* OOWF Intercontinental Title Fatal Three Way Chris Evans vs. Davin Moreland vs. Mai Muyo.
DM: Huh. Gots ta love OOWF. Lose a match, eat a pin for the whole team, and an Intercontinental Championship Match the next week. Gots ta love OOWF...*beep beep* Siri, any promos yet for this week?
S: *beep beep* No. No promos yet this week.
DM: Well, Mayhem did end like an hour ago. But the prospect of watching Evans get his ass kicked by Mai Muyo for 20 minutes before Davin steals the pin and becomes the 2-time, 2-time Intercontinental Champion...That works for me. And considering that no one gives a shit who the World Champion is...
V: ...then the Intercontinental Championship would be bigger than the World Championship?
DM: How did you get in this promo.
SFJ420: I just showed up. I haven't, like, said anything for almost totally a month. For real.
DM: Sorry about that.
SFJ420: So, you're going to totally win then, right?
DM: I supposed stranger things have happened. It's not exactly like Evans is running with this New Guard thing.
SFJ420: Gee, who could have seen that coming, man?
DM: Funny you should put it that way...I need your help to win the Intercontinental Championship.
SFJ420: Me? How can I help?
DM: Well, the plan involves you. And Chris Evans.
SFJ420: Ok.
DM: ...
SFJ420: Is that, like, it?
DM: ...
SFJ420: Oh.
DM: *beep beep* Siri, call Shawn Johnson.
S: Calling Shawn Johnson.
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:35:10 GMT -5
*fade-in to the New Guard Locker room with JP Sparxx, Chris Evans, and Matt Folz*
JP: Man, dat Outback punkass got lucky. That’s all.
CE: Hey relax, it happens. We all know it won’t happen again. Besides, you and Folz have got more important issues, namely Texpress.
JP: Speaking of issues, you and dat Asian shorty seem to have got some beef as well, ya feel me?
CE: Believe me, I’ve noticed. And it really pains me too.
MF: Why would you have an issue with her?
CE: Because she should know better than to go against us. She’s a young up-and-comer trying to make a name for herself. Not to mention the whole “original Old Guarder and her brother Ecosystem, breaking her leg,” so obviously she should want to be with us. But instead, not only does she not want to join with us, she wants to make a name for herself, at my expense.
MF: And what about Davin? He’s in there as well.
CE: Davin? *scoff* You mean the guy who until tonight hasn’t bothered showing up to promo? The guy who’s clearly lost his motivation? The man who has basically been spinning his wheels and falling back on the same old, tired “4-time OOWF World Champ” shtick. That, just like Davin, is part of the past. He’s like Ric Flair: a multiple-time World Champ who has stayed WAY past his time and the fact that they both stick around is, to be honest with you, its just pathetic.
And before he tries to even say anything, I’ve seen his promo. He shouldn’t even bother trying to get into my head with trying to use Shawn. Again, living in the past. Now he’s saying that he’s gonna lean on someone else in order to get my title? Gee, where have I heard that. Oh yeah, everytime that Davin has EVER won a title. He can’t even get over on his own so-called talent, he has to lean on others in order to get it. Us on the other hand don’t need that. The past few PPVs, have we needed each other’s help?
MF: Nope
CE: And why is that?
MF: Cause we’re the best things going in this business.
CE: Damn straight. Cause we are the future, and we’re gonna clean up this shithole.
*fade to black*
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:35:42 GMT -5
*OOWF Medical*
Alexander Darling is standing by as doctors try to get him to sit down and get looked at but he's ignoring them all as they check Firewoman's ribs once again. She winces as the nurses prod her asking her where it hurts and she just stares daggers at them since it's clear what hurts apparent by the gigantic bruises that are visible.
Alexander: I should apologize.
Firewoman: But you're not going to. I think I get it now.
Alexander: Get what exactly?
Firewoman: All of it. What you've been trying to protect me from. Why you tried everything instead of asking me. Why I needed to see this through in my own head without anyone telling me to?
Alexander: *smirks* Is that what you got?
Firewoman: Among other things...*winces* So, where did you learn that little trick at the end of the match?
Alexander: You know how you have some secrets still and I won't push you on them?
Firewoman: *nods*
Alexander: This is one of mine. *impatiently looks at the doctor* Are we almost done here? We've got to get the first flight back to Canada.
Firewoman: We do?
Alexander: Yes WE do. I'm not leaving you alone after what happened tonight and I refuse to allow Lexie to spend another night alone after what...
Firewoman: Another thing I get...Doc, just tape it up enough for me to fly and I'll have the doctors in Canada do anything else that needs to be done.
The doctor nods and just before we fade we see a black Mustang speeding and swerving out of the parking lot of the arena.
*Fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:36:24 GMT -5
~~~ Once again, Bridgette is sitting across the desk fro General Manager al-Takriti ~~~
GMtSa-T: Look, I know what you want....
Bridgette: Hold on shug, I'm not here about the Last Match Stipulation.
GMtSa-T: You... you're not?
Bridgette: What we're looking for today is this. The boys have found a number of people interested in joining them to chase the Campeonas de Trios. Firewoman has expressed interest. Lobo as well. I have had private communiques from Danny Taylor and LD Williams expressing interest as well. Chad and Zane are willing to team with any and all of them. But, it is up to YOU, since we don't get to make matches. YOU do.
GMtSa-T: I know that. But don't you think they should team up with one of them for a few matches and THEN get a title shot?
Bridgette: No
GMtSa-T: Why not?
Bridgette: Because that's not how the Campeonas Division works. Teams regularly get shots the first time they team up. In Chad & Zane's case, they've won them before as a first time team. And besides, they've already teamed with Firewoman in the past. They've already teamed with Lobo in the past. There's no good reason to deny them.
GMtSa-T: Well, I don't know...
Bridgette: I don't know what other booking plans are in place. All I know is Chad and Zane are issuing the challenge. Nobody else has done so. They should be first in line. You need to make this happen.
~~~ Bridgette gets up and leaves without another word ~~~
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:37:06 GMT -5
We are at Roma’s Wraps, and Ricky Soaring Eagle seems to be getting angry at the lack of quality service. As he’s about to say something to Paul, a voice is heard from behind.
Voice: Get him whatever he wants Paul, and put it on my tab.
Roma: Sure thing, but is that all you’re doing nowadays? Hanging around the cafeteria?
The camera pans and reveals Psykle standing behind Ricky Soaring Eagle.
Psykle: Everybody’s gotta be somewhere, Paul.
Paul goes back into the kitchen to get Ricky Soaring Eagle’s order together.
RSE: I didn’t ask for your charity, and I don’t need it.
Psykle: My charity? No, you’re right, you don’t need it, but this isn’t charity. This is an investment. We need to talk.
RSE: You think talking will help you when you get in the ring with me next week?
Psykle: In a way, yes, but it’s not me I’m trying to help. It’s you.
RSE: I don’t need your help.
Psykle: That’s where we disagree. You are full of rage, Ricky. Trust me, I know. We can sense our own kind.
RSE: And?
Psykle: And it’s not healthy. Look at the match we have ahead of ourselves. You, Me, Alexander Darling and Moosehead Jack in a four-way. I’ve been in the ring on several occasions with Moose, and Alex, well, I still owe Alex some payback. None of that matters though, neither of them are in the right frame of mind, and they both just want to kill each other. If we go in to that match with our rages unchecked, one or more of the four of us are not going to leave that ring in one piece. We may not even leave with our lives.
RSE: Good. I have no problem destroying all three of you.
Psykle: That may be what you think right now, but I’ve been there. It’s one thing to put someone in the hospital. It’s another thing completely to put them in the morgue. I’ve done both. One you can live with, the other, not so much. You’ve got talent, you’ve got skill, and you’ve got rage. Right now, you’re rage is running unchecked. You need to learn to harness it better. He may not have been straight with me all the time, but one thing that bastard IQ did help me with was learning to harness and control my rage. I’ve always felt the need to offer help when I could, especially when I see someone going through something I have already gone through myself. That’s why I’m here. I want to help you.
RSE: I don’t need your help.
Psykle: I never said you did. There’s a difference between needing something, wanting something, and it just being a good thing to have. Think about it. I’m offering to help you learn to harness and control your rage so you can release it in a more focused manner. The offer is there. If you want to take it, take it. Just think about it.
Psykle turns and starts to walk off. Suddenly, Ricky Soaring Eagle clobbers him from behind with a double axe handle. Ricky picks Psykle up, no small feat, puts him on his shoulder and NAILS him with the Return To Earth through a nearby table. Ricky stands up, leans over Psykle, and gets right in his face.
RSE: I have thought about it. Keep your offers to yourself. I will see you at Mayhem, and destroy you then.
Ricky Soaring Eagle walks over to the counter, and takes his order from Roma, and walks off. Psykle starts to stir, and Roma checks on him. Psykle sits up.
Psykle: Big mistake, Ricky. Big mistake. Fade to black.
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:37:49 GMT -5
<two guards are sitting in Alexis Darling’s hospital room. Alexis is still heavily sedated and the machines beep quietly. The door opens and two hospital orderlies come in, the guards get to their feet>
Guard1: It’s not time for…….
<before he can finish, the first orderly attacks and holds a rag over his nose and mouth, the second orderly does the same to the other guard. Within seconds, both are unconscious. The orderlies let them drop to the floor, and we see it is Moosehead Jack and Eco. Eco moves quickly to jam a chair against the door so no one can come in, Moose walks over to Alexis and stares down at her. Moose’s eyes are still red from the mist the night before and he blinks frequently. Moose reaches down and brushes the hair from Lexie’s forehead, she stirs a little, but does not wake up. Moose sits in a chair next to the bed and looks at the INC>
You can’t protect her Alex. You can’t be in two places at once. Look at her Alex, so damaged, so broken, yet so peaceful. Is this how you imagined it Alex? Is this what you thought of when the two Darling siblings played as children? Did you imagine that you would be responsible for your sister lying in a hospital bed with a broken neck? Was that part of your game? Cause let’s be honest here Alex, that’s what this is to you, isn’t it? It’s all a game to you. Or…..it was…..until the game got very, very real.
See Alex, people like you, people like Mommy and Daddy Darling, they think they can toy with people like me. Now, I know you, you are going to dismiss this, but facts are facts and you cannot deny this, you were born with a silver spoon, I was born with nothing. People like you think people like me are there for your amusement. Don’t even deny it. Why else would you resort to kidnap and torture. You knew goddamn well what you were doing Alex. Someone like you can get away with doing that to someone like me. Had you done it to, ohh, say, Stank……or Davin……or someone a bit more…….respectable…….there would have been hell to pay. But you……you knew exactly what you were doing, and you thought you would get away with it. You are so wrong Little Alex
Look at her lying there.
<Moose pulls a scalpel from his boot and presses it against her chest>
It could all end just like that Alex. And where are you? You couldn’t save her in the cage, you can’t save her now. One flick of the wrist, one deep cut, and Alexis Darling is no more. Half of you dies right here in this room. But, I’m not going to do that Little Alex……you wanna know why? Because that would be too easy. Oh sure, you would mourn. You would swear death on everyone who looked at you wrong, but in time, the wound heals. But now? Now Alexis Darling has a broken neck, and a severe concussion, it is going to take months of therapy just to be normal again, it would take YEARS for her to ever be able to return to the ring. That’s YEARS that you have to look at your broken sister and know that YOU caused this.
I want you to suffer.
<Moose moves to the door, then stops and looks back at Alexis>
It seems funny that a year ago, my sister was lying in a hospital bed as well. You couldn’t protect her either. Face it Alex, you are a failure. A failure as a husband, as a brother, and you will be a failure at ridding the OOWF of Moosehead Jack.
Trust me
<Moose and Eco leave the hospital room, and the camera focuses on Alexis Darling lying in the bed, the a blood stained scalpel lying on her chest as we fade out>
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:38:17 GMT -5
-->Williams, Scott, AA and #HCJA are all backstage after their tag team match victory on Mayhem
AA - Hey guys, didnt I tell you how tough this guy is *cutout*. Like I said, I wouldnt want to fight this guy.
HW - He didnt really do anything...
AA - Are you kidding, he was the most important member of our team, besides me of course.
CC - I dont know why but I still find this to be amusing.
HW - How, its just so goofy!
AA - Like it or not, were it not for #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline we would have not stood a chance against Texpress...
HW - It had nothing to do with the fact that I nearly kicked that guy's head off and rolled him up?
AA - It was the inspiration of having Johnny in your corner that got you the win
HW - Well, we'll see about that next week wont we?
AA - Good luck. Maybe #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline will run in and help you out.
CC - Now that I would like to see.
-->AA walks off with #HCJA turned around, staring down Williams and Scott as he continues down the hallway.
HW - I have never felt so.....awkward during a match than what just happened.
CC - I couldnt stop laughing.
HW - I noticed. So what do we have for next week?
CC - You face some dude named Outback Jack.
HW - Who? I've never heard of him.
CC - Neither have I, he either is new or he is coming back form an absence. Either way, I think you should handle him just fine.
HW - Sounds good to me.
-->Reporter walks up, same as the last one that talked to Williams and Scott.
RP - Hey guys, ready for an interview?
HW - Woah, woah woah....I thought I told you to get rid of this idiot.
CC - How could I, he is so damn good at his job?
HW - Are you serious? He didnt even know what happened in the match he covered! I'm not giving this guy an interview.
RP - Come on man? Just tell me, how did you feel about winning your last match, and how Texpress pinned you and AA to retain the OOWF Trios Title?
HW - What!?
CC - Ok Joe, time to leave. He is right, you really suck.
-->Scott leads Joe back towards the parking area and Mark starts to make his way to the locker room. As he turns the corner, he stops, expecting to see #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline staring at him...
HW - This is rediculous....that damn cardboard cutout is going to haunt me for a long time...
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:38:52 GMT -5
CUT the OOWF New Guard™ suite sponsored by 1800 Tequila. OOWF World Heavyweight Champion The Crusher Stan Fulton™ is sitting at the bar drinking. Not at all like him. Nearby is his attaché, Martha Rodriguez.
MR: “This is a joke right?”
SF: “Nope.”
MR: “You’re the World Champion and you’re facing the OOWF equivalent of Santino Morella?”
SF: “Looks that way.”
MR: “In a chain match?”
SF: “In a chain match.”
MR: “Non-title.”
SF: “Which means I’m going to be booked to lose.”
Kayfabe pounds angrily at the door trying to get in. However, due to Fulton’s increased fame and fortune, the doors are a bit more solid.
MR: “She’s going to get splinters in her hand.”
SF: “I suppose I should speak to the masses.”
MR: “Not a bad idea. Someone has to keep this faction going.”
Fulton gets up and walks over to the designated promo area, complete with cameras, lights, microphones and the newest OOWF banner that money can buy.
SF: “First, let me be the first one to wish the OOWF Universe™ a very Happy New Year.
“Next, let’s address Texpress’s demand to our very lovely General Manager. Miss Selena, I know you’re not one to take that kind of bullying. You’ve learned from Poe that the type of attitude Chad and Zane are exhibiting is counterproductive to the OOWF. Which is exactly what the New Guard has been saying all along. The old, established wrestlers think they can bully you into giving them title shots and other special perks.
“But I know you’re not going to just cave to their tactics. Since the New Guard holds two-thirds of those titles, I think we should at least be consulted on who gets the next title match. Frankly, there are three people here who’d love a chance. In fact, I’d like to put forth the option that The Flyin’ Hawaiians and Alex Darling face Matt Folz, Chris Evans and Stan Fulton for the Campeonas de Trios Championship.
“Also, I’d like to talk about those ratings that have been bandied about. Granted, they aren’t as high as they were earlier in the year, but they are up over this same time period last year when Davin Moreland was holding this Championship. Myself and the New Guard is going to lead this company into higher ratings, more profitability and increased worldwide acceptance.
“Now, onto other things. Davin. No title you hold will be bigger than the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship®. This title I hold is what everyone in this company, not counting the Quinns and Darlings, want. Besides, you’re past your time, old man. You couldn’t get your hands on an Intercontinental title belt if you went out and bought one. You’ve been given chance after chance lately and you just don’t have it anymore. Go out with a little grace, for God’s sake. Retire and start preparing your Hall of Fame speech. You’re only in this match because they can’t bear the thought of Davin Moreland facing some jobber. Do everyone a favor. Start pulling from your 401(c).
“Finally, Comrade Sharkoff. You sorry excuse for a human being. Seriously, dude. It’s 2012. Not 1985. The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics doesn’t exist anymore. Your schtick is tired and dated. And your mat skills are ... well, they suck. Badly.
“I’ve already destroyed one leg. Did you really want to lose the other? I’m going to wrap that chain around my fist and repeatedly smash you in the face with it. Over and over and over and over. And when you’re lying on the mat unconscious, I’m going to take your one good leg and make that heel touch your nose. By pulling it over the top of your head. Then I’m going to take your fake leg, walk out of the arena and have an axe handle made from it.
“Miss Selena. I am your World Heavyweight Champion. I’m also the current face of the company. I am respectfully requesting that I am no longer put in such an unimportant match as this. As the World Champion, I should be headlining every event. Not doing a bullshit match with the Soviet equivalent of Chuckles the Clown.”
Fulton visibly shudders at the word ‘clown.’
SF: “I think that covers about everything for now. Gamsahabnida.”
Fulton sets the mic down and walks back over to the bar.
MR: “Ratings are down. All across the board. Davin had much higher ratings and merch sales. And last year at this time was the Tytan/Fire Death March. Ratings through the roof.”
SF: “Aren’t you just a fuckin’ ray of sunshine.”
MR: “I’m not one of those floozy bimbos everyone else employs. I’m your attaché and business associate. I’m going to tell you the truth and I’m not going to sleep with you.”
SF: “Fine.”
MR: “Your ratings are higher than when Stank held the title. And Moose.”
SF: “That’s something. I’d better do something amazing soon. Or they’re going to take this title off me.”
MR: “Turn face?”
Fulton rolls his eyes at Martha.
SF: “No.”
MR: “We’ll call you the New Faciest Face.”
SF: “No.”
MR: “Dress as a clown?”
SF: “I can't believe I’m working in this shithole.”
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:39:33 GMT -5
~~~ Zane Myers Sees Honcho Williams' promo and shakes his head sadly. ~~~ Zane: You know, I liked you Honcho. I reached out to you when you first came to the OOWF. You have some talent. That's twice now you've pulled off an upset against Chad and I. But do yourself a favor. Seriously, learn the history of the OOWF. Outback Jack is one of the FOUNDING FATHERS of this place. 6 time Tag Team Champion 2 Time Intercontinental Champion. Onslaught Champion, Twice Campeonas de Trios holder. 500 days overall. Show some respect. If your 'mentor' was worth two darns, he'd know all that and keep you informed. because if he isn't, what good is he? It's not like he's got name recognition around here, his career here was less noteworthy than Chad Ochocinco's season with the Patriots. ~~~ Zane spins and walks off screen. We hard cut to....~~~
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:40:31 GMT -5
*Davin looks ANNOYED~! as he watches Zane's last promo. He's via satellite from somewhere*
DM: Ok, a couple things. FIRST of all, Chad Ochochinco is what he's supposed to be. The 5th option. If anyone outside of Patriots Nation expected more than that out of him, they should stop watching so much ESPN. If anyone INSIDE Patriots Nation expected more than that out of him, come find me and I'll be more than happy to kick the shit out of you.
DM: Ok, next. Fulton? You're such a tough guy behind a camera. Now you've got the Ambiguously Gay Duo running interference for you, so you don't have to do your own dirty work. Know what? That's the right decision. Because you might fool others, but you sure as fuck don't fool me. New Guard, for you, isn't a "cause", so much as it is a "business decision". And a good one. I mean, you certainly can't claim you were blocked from competing for Championships, you did that from day 1, fatboy. Even before you were fit enough to reasonably compete in a match without getting winded, you were getting title matches. So, while everyone else thinks you're a true believer; the more savvy observers among us know the truth. All the bullshit you've spouted about politics in your whining tenure here - and here you are, playing politics as well as Kevin Nash ever could have hoped. You learned well. Good for you. Now do yourself a favor, and keep my name out of your mouth. I'll do whatever the fuck I want to do. You said it yourself. I'm a legend. But old? Past my prime?
DM: Man, you're already the champ, but that's not good enough, right? Now you're sad because nobody loves you, too? I have fans. Everywhere. They're going to love me no matter what. They've been by my side before I was anything in this business. Why? Because while some called it "pandering", face or heel, I would always express my gratitude to them. They know what I'm about in the ring, and they know I'm going to tear the fucking house down everytime and everywhere I show up. And my fans will respond to that.
DM: Every time I'm announced, and "Pull Me Under" hits, the crowd goes absolutely wild. Every time your music hits, whatever it is, the crowd goes absolutely mild. And it's a shame, you're lumped in with the Milquetoast Ambiguously Gay Duo, The Sorry Rock Parody and the Silent Samoan Character The Stopped Being Cool Around 1988. Oh, but he's "Hawai'ian! That's totally different!" I know. And I know life must be difficult for you. You probably envisioned a lot more glory and adoration during your Championship run. It must be damn near impossible to carry those fools on your shoulders every night. Trust me, I know how tough it is to carry Evans alone. I can only imagine what it's like to carry all of them. So, while I respect all the burdens you carry and stress that you're under - keep my name out of your mouth, unless you're prepared to do something about it.
DM: Now, Ms. GM Selena, if you can hear me, and I know you can because you're watching this during your "SpaghettiO's and Milk pre-nap snack", I am interested in winning the Campeonas de Trios Championship again for the 6th time. Hell, I pretty much singlehandedly made that division, and I'd like the opportunity to show everyone why you may as well re-name it the "Campeonas de Davin Championship". But without getting into that too much, I'd like to publicly add my name to the list of challengers.
DM: If you're paying attention at home, you know this means a couple of things.
1) Good for you for paying attention.
2) This means I will NOT be re-joining Texpress for any kind of Trios match, no matter how much they beg. And they've done enough begging to this point that I have to get in front of it now before they embarrass themselves any further. Their legacy to too great to have it tarnished in this fashion. They had their opportunity to go down in history as the greatest Tag Team AND Trios champions ever. They chose to let THE REASON for their Trios success go. And Good Ol' Davin here has kicked their ass and won matches...that is, I've pinned you fuckers...ever since.
3) However, like I said, I am inclined to compete for those championships again. And I was thinking. And we've actually talked about it, but I'm putting it on record right now, and if I get made the fool, so be it. But at this time, I would like to formally request that Stank and LD Williams join with me to form a team to compete for the Campeonas de Trios Championships. You know where I am. You know my number. And I know you like The Shiny.
4) And speaking of The Shiny, the good thing about Trios is that you can hold another belt at the same time. And for me, that will be the Intercontinental Championship. You know, the one I'll be winning in the triple threat this Wednesday. Evans, you're simply not worthy of being any kind of champion. And with Fulton making the World Title as boring and irrelevant as possible - that leaves it up to me to take the only relevant title in the company today. The Intercontinental Championship. My only hesitation here is that Mai is a rabid competitor, and she very well might win this title for herself. That is my only concern. Chris Evans is, quite simply, the most fraudulent wrestler to ever step foot in OOWF. Hell, even Matt Folz had a character. Evans is a nothing, a nobody, that gets pushed to the moon for reasons still unclear to anyone. You're up against 2 people who will easily kick your ass this Wednesday, and it's going to be your ol' buddy, washed-up, past-his-prime Davin who will be walking out of Bedlam Corner *cheap pop* the Intercontinental Champion, and the only truly relevant Champion in the company.
*A baby starts crying in the background*
DM: Well, that's my time, kids. Cock a doodle doo, motherfucker!
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:41:00 GMT -5
~~~ A Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist sits at the luxurious OOWF Interview Set flipping through her notes, waiting for her subject to arrive. ~~~ RNSFJ: So where is this guy? ~~~ As if on cue, Strange Music begins to play and Comrade Sharkoff marches on set, dragging his chain behind him ~~~ RNSFJ: Oh No. No Way. I…… I just can’t Oh. Everyone else can have interview time, but Comrade Sharkoff can not? You would rather interview the no good son of a borscht Fulton Crusher?RSNFJ: Well…. Yeah. He’s the champ! And you.. you’re crazy, you’re ugly…. and… and frankly, you scare me. Okay Yankee bimbo. Then best you leave and not watch OOWF MidWeek this time around. For Comrade Sharkoff will not be scary to just you, but to Fulton as well. You think you can make ax-handle ot of my other foot? I would dare you to try me. You make me like this because you attack me from behind away from arena. How very American of you. Complain about others doing bad things to you, while forgetting you do that same to the Comrade. Well, there will be no from behind in our match. I will wrap Russian chain aroundmy arm and Russian Sickle your fat pig American head off! Then I will be Champion of the OOWF and show the superiority of Mother Russia! RNSFJ: Umm….. isn’t this a Non-Title Match Maybe so. I will beat Crusher Fulton this week, then the people who run this place will be forced to recognize my superior ability and hand the title over to me. Russia Numer 1! CCCP Number 1! RNSFJ: Well… (looks over her shoulder) CHAD! ~~~ panning behind her, we see Chad Madison & Zane Myers, waiting for their interview to begin the RNSFJ runs over and hugs Chad, who cuts his eyes over to Zane as if he has no idea who this is ~~~ RNSFJ: I’m Soooooo glad I get to interview you again. It’s been what, like a year? Chad: Ummm yeah…. Something like that. How have you been…. Babe? ~~~ Suddenly,a chair comes sailing past Chad and crashes into a production assistant. ~~~ NO! This is MY time! I will NOT be upstaged by some Yankee pretty-boy who has everything handed to him. If I have to, Comrade Sharkoff will take both of you out RIGHT NOW! Zane: Calm down there killer. We were just waiting our turn. Besides, you might like to know, We agree with you. Of course you agree with me, I am always right. I wil…. What did you say?Zane: I said we agree with you. Fulton is as hypocritical as they come. He and his cronies attack Danny in the hospital, then chastise him for a one on one attack in the arena. Pathetic. They cry about their opportunity but deny others the same chance? Morons. If you win, it makes them look weaker. So Chad and I wish you luck against Fulton. I need no luck. He will need luck. Luck to be alive when I am done. Chad: Good. Now, if you don’t mind, this pretty little mama and I need to get better acquainted ~~~ Sharkoff storms out. Zane pulls the RNSFJ aside and whispers in her ear. She looks surprised, then saunters up to Chad and starts unbuttoning her blouse. ~~~ RNSFJ: So I was thinking, we should have sex. Chad: I was thinking the same thing. Your place? Mine? Tonight? RNSFJ: Right here. Right Now. Chad: Really? RNSFJ:I want you so bad right now, I’d be willing to do ANYTHING you wanted, even the really kinky stuff Chad: Woah! Awesome! RSNFJ: All I want you to do is one teeny little thing. Chad: ANYthing. RNSFJ: Tell me something Chad: What? RNSFJ: What’s my name? ~~~ Chad stops dead in his tracks. Behind the RNSFJ, Zane is desperately trying not to laugh, but losing that battle. ~~~ Chad: Tammy? RSNFJ: Too bad Cowboy, I was really in the mood for a wild time…. (She turns to leave) Chad: Wait… Alesha?....... Bonnie?...... Melanie? RNSFJ: (over her shoulder, still walking out) Goodbye. Chad: (turns to Zane) DUDE! What was that all about? Zane: You slapped me last week. We’re even. Chad: Not cool. Not cool, man. Zane: Now that you’re free tonight, I thought we’d do some film work on Folz & Sparxx, then on the Hawaiinas & Alex. Chad: Do we have a Campeonas match set? Zane: No, but we will. Bridgette is still working on that. We need to be ready. Chad: Davin ran his mouth again. Zane: What else is new? That ship sailed. Time to move forward. Let’s stop at Ric’s and grab a couple of sandwiches & Aquafinas to go. Chad: Fine. But you’re buying. That was not cool at all.
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:42:14 GMT -5
**SFJ#47 is with L.D. Williams.**
SFJ#47: “L.D., this week you and Stank face off against the Flyin’Hawai’ians and Danny Taylor and El Lobo Sangiento. Your thoughts?”
LDW: “We can talk about the match later. Right now I’d like to address the Hawai’ians’ allies Mr Folz, Mr. Evans and Mr. Fulton, who’ve all had similar things to say in the last week. Now, I know my promos aren’t terribly entertaining, and I rarely have anything meaningful to say, but bear with me.
I tend to stick to jokes and impressions when I talk about you. I do that because I’m trying so hard to ignore you pissing on my family every time you open your mouths.
The company that you spend so much time deriding - this ‘shithole’ as you call it - represents my family. Literally. My brother and I were the first siblings to hold the OOWF World Title. More than that, we built this company. And not just us. Men and women far better men than you have passed through that ring over the years, and our blood, sweat, and tears are mixed in the foundation of this company. You say you need to clean it up. I say you should get on your knees and thank God for everyone who came before you and made it possible for you to succeed here. Every match, every feud, every promo - I held Moosehead Jack in check for seven fucking years to keep this company alive and you DARE to belittle it?
You want the gold? Fine. You want the main event? Be my guest. You want my spot? You’re welcome to it if you can take it. But you will NOT mock this company. You will NOT belittle the memory and the legacy of those who came before you, or this ‘shithole’ will rise up and own your ass.
Hawai’ians, I’ll come up with something not funny and ultimately meaningless for you later. For now you’d best talk to your boys before they dig you a hole you can’t get out of.”
<fade>
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:43:01 GMT -5
We come up in the Destroyatorium, were we see Dashing Victor Deniro sitting at a table playing fetch with Shotglass. El Lobo Sangriento enters the room, and heads over joining DVD.
El Lobo: Where is Danny?
DVD: (starts to smile, but quickly suppresses it.) He is prepping for the match this week.
El Lobo: He's not running off to fight the New Guard alone again is he?
DVD: No, I'm pretty sure he is done with that.
El Lobo: Stank and LD are pretty tough opponents, thankfully they dislike the New Guard as much as us.
DVD: If you think they are going to be focused on the new guard, we will lose the match.
El Lobo: You think they will be focused on us?
DVD: No, I think they will be focused on winning. That is who they are, it is what they do. Let's not forget, Stank and LD both have history with D&D, just like the Hawaiians.
El Lobo: I know that you personally hold some bad blood with the Hawaiians as well.
DVD: The Hawaiians? Not really. That Ice-Bitch Harpy Noelani, Oh yeah. Let me tell you a quick story Lobo.
Lobo motions for him to continue.
DVD: When the Hawaiians first came to the OOWF the first real opponents they had to face were Drink and Destroy. Jack and Danny tore the house down with those boys night in and night out, and win or lose, when the match was over we offered em a drink and a hand in friendship.
Lobo: Then they turned on you.
DVD: No, then Noelani got in Ania's head, started convincing him that he needed to be "more aggressive" and "do whatever it takes" to get to the top. Her words led to them attacking us in this very bar and weakening us prior to their first title win, yet the New Guard will tell you that they earned all the titles they've gotten fair and square.
Lobo: More hypocritical comments from them.
DVD: (nods) The thing is, Danny forgave them for that long ago. Me....well I'm not as nice a guy as Danny is. The truth is, the Flying Hawaiians at their cores are not bad guys, but whenever the real threat of Noelani gets in Ania's head, they go down a dark path. I can guarantee you that when Evans went to recruit them, it was her that he talked to, and not Kai or Aina.
Lobo: So we really have five opponents this week?
DVD: Yeah, but you and Danny worry about the four in the ring, leave the one on the outside to me.
With This Danny comes out from the back, and he is wearing a mask very similar to Lobo's, except it has a stick of dynamite sown onto the forehead. At this point Vic looses it and starts laughing. Lobo turns around, and when he sees Danny, a smile crosses his face.
Lobo: I like it.
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:43:38 GMT -5
Noelani is watching OOWF-TV with her feet up in the New Guard locker room. She twirls a pen as DVD's promo plays.
Noe: I guess he's not as dumb as I thought he was. Maybe I knocked some sense into him when I broke his nose. *laughs*
The promos continue, but a shadow falls over Noelani from behind. She looks up and sees Kai standing behind her chair.
Noe: What? Shouldn't you and Aina be working out?
Kai says nothing, but he starts to sniff loudly.
Noe: What are you doing?
Kai: Do you smell that? The Kai smells it. It reeks.
Noelani smells the air, but smells nothing.
Noe: No, I don't smell anything.
Kai: You can't? It's filling the Kai's nostrils like Waikiki sand.
Noe: Well, what's it smell like?
Kai: It smells like someone is burning a tuna melt.
Noe: I don't smell a...oh, you stu...
Kai: IF YA SMELLLLLLLLALALOW! What your crotch! Is! Stinking!
Kai storms off as Noelani throws her pen at him.
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:44:17 GMT -5
Firewoman and Alexander have arrived back at the Canadian hospital where Alexis is. Alexander is berating the stupid guards and also Samantha for allowing Moose and Eco to get into Alexis's room. Fire merely listens, leaning against a wall, clutching her ribs, but waving off any offers for anyone to look them over. She gets kind of tired of listening to this, and instead heads into Alexis's room.
Alexis is still unconscious. Firewoman looks down at her for a really long time.
FW: Alexander thought you were the one to get rid of him.
There's another long pause. Fire gently moves some stray hairs away from Alexis's forehead, and bends down to give her a kiss.
FW: You aren't. There's only one person who can.
Fire sighs and leaves the room. It appears Alex has apoloized to Sam, but the guards have been fired.
AD: Are you going to get checked?
FW: Eventually...I need to find a chapel or something.
AD: Wait, I'll go--
FW: NO!
AD: But--
FW: Geezus, Alex, I can take care of myself. It'll be fine.
Fire walks off toward the chapel before Alex can say anything else.
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:44:48 GMT -5
Time passes, and we find ourselves in the OOWF Commissioner's office. Firewoman is clearing out the last of her personal belongings, when she hears a noise. She tenses up, but when she sees who it is, she relaxes, and a smile starts to form at the edge of her lips. The camera pans back and we see Dynamite Danny Taylor standing in the doorway. He slowly walks forward and then extends his arm holding out an envelope. Firewoman takes it and opens it. Inside is a card. The cover has a penguin holding a balloon and flowers in it's flippers. When Firewoman opens it, the inside simply says, "You were a good boss". Firewoman looks up at Danny and smiles. Danny holds his arms wide, and Firewoman chuckles, before embracing him and they share the hug of mutual friendship, before the camera
FADES
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 6, 2012 10:45:12 GMT -5
-->Williams sits back in his chair in his locker room while Scott is returning for sending Joe packing. He walks in the room and Williams turns to him quickly...
HW - Those Texpress guys aren't too happy with us right now, did you see that yet?
CC - Nah, havent really paid much attention.
HW - Did you know about this Outback Jack guy?
CC - Nah, a little bit before my time I think.
HW - They aren't too thrilled that neither of us knew who he was.
CC - Is that a problem?
HW - Maybe not to you, but I've got a good amount of respect for those two. They have gotten me over a few times.
CC - I still don't see the problem.
HW - It was directed more towards you, take a look...
-->Pause as the monkeys in the truck play the clip from earlier...
CC - I prefer my run here to be more like the impact that Ryan Fitzpatrick has had on the Bills.
HW - Why, thats even worse.
CC - I like the Bills.
HW - Ah, I'm very sorry to hear that....so what do you think we do here. I've already asked for some footage that I plan to watch after my workout.
CC - Good thinking, I'm going to try and find an Ochocinco jersey, I will wear it to your next match.
HW - I prefer you didnt, but I can't stop you.
CC - Good, it is decided.
HW - And I'm going to find those Texpress guys and tell them that you were too big of a goofball to remember something like that.
CC - It was a plan! I'm trying to turn heel.
HW - I'm a face, how the hell are you going to pass off as a heel manager. We would be the laugh of the roster.
CC - Whatever, I'm going to keep working on it.
-->Scott sits down and opens up a newspaper as Williams leaves and turns down the hallway to find the Texpress guys....and those tapes.
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 9, 2012 1:37:48 GMT -5
CUT to the OOWF New Guard™ suite and OOWF World Heavyweight Champion The Crusher Stan Fulton™ and his attaché, Martha Rodriguez.
MR: "You've done it, Stan."
SF: "What did I do?"
MR: "Your one promo touched off a firestorm of comments. Nearly every promo for the Bedlam Corner (cheap pop™) event is talking about the New Guard."
SF: "Really?"
MR: "Well everyone except Fire and Alex. They're too absorbed in themselves to even make eye contact with anyone else."
SF: "Saw the the Commissioner job is now open."
MR: "Yep."
SF: "You should apply."
MR: "You're not serious."
SF: "Totally. You're business oriented, you've never been afraid to tell me the truth, no matter if it's bad news or if I'm being an ass."
MR: "Which is most of the time now."
SF: "Gotta keep the heel image going and keep Davin talking about me. It's all about name recognition and the final paycheck. Which reminds me, have a fruit basket sent to Davin. Have the card read, 'Thanks for the rub. I'll make sure to return the favor during your retirement tour next month.'"
MR: "You're an ass."
SF: "True, but do it anyway. Now go talk to Ms. Selena about that job."
MR: "You'd be lost without me."
SF: "I never would have been World Champ without your help, but I'll be okay. It's time for you to move up, Martha."
Martha chews her lip in consternation.
MR: "I don't know..."
SF: "You said it yourself. My words are like a firestorm throughout the OOWF. I promo and a half-dozen others leap to disparage me and my associates. Go make your father proud. I know he's not been too keen on your work since leaving Columbia. Running a major wrestling organization? Now that's something he can be proud of."
MR: "Thank you, Stan. No matter what Davin says, you're a good man."
SF: "Shush. You'll ruin my current image."
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 9, 2012 1:38:21 GMT -5
Firechild comes onstage to cut a promo to a roar of appreciation from the Beldam Corner crowd.
FC: Well, I've been back for a few weeks and I've beaten up an evangelist republican joke character...
(we see Kayfabe crying into her soup in the canteen)
FC: ... and last week I got a victory over a relateivly new superstar on a hot streak and I'd like to address my first comments to him. Ricky Soaring Eagle - you are one tough dude. You also happen to be batshit mental, unable to touch sane with a long pole and unbalanced enough to run for office succesfully in the Mid West but I can both identify and respect that.
The crowd applaud Firechild's sentiment.
FC: What I'm trying to say, is that I may have gotten a win, but I've always regarded a DQ win as a poor second place. I'd happily do the war dance with you again sometime Ricky, so I can pin you clean 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring.
The crowd cheer, but Firechild motions for quiet.
FC: On to this week, and in that ring... right here.... in Bedlam Corner, Connecticut (cheap pop) I'm going to be facing an opponent I'm more than familiar with, the Attitude Adjuster Alan Capps.
Mixed reaction for the mention of AA.
FC: Now, I have to say that for all AA is a mentally unstable shadow of his former title holding self, he's got something that I'm just not sure I can compete with.
Firechild makes a mock-serious expression and continues.
FC: That's right Bedlam Corner, I just don't know if I can hope to defeat Attitude Adjuster with #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline in his corner.
Firechild makes a fraught gesture, runs his hands through his hair as if genuinely distressed then looks up, smiling...
FC: BUT, worry not.... because I have a corner man of my own who will surely level the playing field.
The crowd murmur amongst themselves as to who it could possibly be...
FC: That's right folks, I can't stand alone against a Hall of Fame tag team, so I've enlisted a Hall of Fame corner-man of my own!
The arena light's dim and "With Jupiter in Mind" by Joe Satriani hits the stereo, the music builds and just before the crescendo, the lights go down only to go back up almost instantaneously and show a life-size cutout of former OOWF, Intercontinental, Tag Team and Trios Champion and "Concrete" Takaken Gryfon making his trademark 'double bicep' entry pose.
Firechild sells this as if he's been reunited with an old friend and runs up and hugs the cutout.
FC: Alan, you might have your fellow Chickenshit Heel in your corner, but you'll not just be facing me, NO! On Wednesday night, you'll be facing the HEROES GUILD REUNITED!
The crowd show their appreciation as Firechild and Concrete leave the stage to the sound of cheers (OK, so Firechild lifts the cut-out and walks off, waving with his spare arm...)
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 9, 2012 1:38:53 GMT -5
COLD OPENING IN A RING!!!!
Attitude Adjuster: Because the Bookerman won’t give us a spot on Midweek Mayhem, we’ve decided to hire a crowd for the newest and BEST INTREVIEW SHOW IN THE OOWF, #Heel Cowboy Johnny’s ADRENALINE RUSH!
(The crowd cheers wildly. The camera pans back, and we see Attitude Adjuster, Cardboard Cutout #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline (with a microphone duct taped to his hand) and Honcho Williams in the ring.)
AA: Because if there’s one thing better than watching the #1 PROMO TEAM IN THE OOWF promotificate, it’s watching them perform in an interview show! And since I’m honing my skills as a manager and mentor with my newest acquisition Honcho Williams (Honcho does a quick double-take and mouths “What?”), we’ve decided that #Heel Cowboy Johnny will focus on the interviewing skills.
HW: I’m your what?
AA: I know, I know. You’re honored. Frankly, I liked your work last week against TexPress, and you’re obviously better than that washed up Eric O’Mac guy. So congratulations on being my new protégé.
HW: But I’m...
AA: I know, you’re at a loss for words. We’ll work on that. Now stand behind #Heel Cowboy Johnny and watch the experts. (AA faces back to the camera.) Now then, we’ve decided to start at the top, with one of the greatest OOWF champions of all time. He’s beaten all the top stars in the time in the OOWF, and he’s a great friend of The Chickenshit Heels. Let’s welcome OOWF champion...JUSTIN SANE!!!
(The crowd, which AA had worked into a fever pitch, is underwhelmed.)
JS: Hey, thanks for having me on the show. So when do I get my $5?
AA: After the interview, kid. Talk to #Heel Cowboy Johnny.
JS (turning to #HCJ): Wow, Johnny Adrenaline. You were my hero when I debuted in the OOWF. You had all the skills and personality, and were so dynamic. I’m not exactly sure why you hung out with Attitude Adjuster. He seemed to just weigh you down...
AA: Alright, alright. That’s enough. Let Johnny talk.
JS: Right, right. Let Johnny talk. I’m not use to doing interviews. Usually I’m just in backstage comedy segments that someone else writes for me. What should I talk about? Well, I do have the OOWF DDT title. I won that over a month ago, and it seems like everyone’s afraid of me because no one’s challenged me or anything. Maybe this is the start of something big, huh? Like maybe I can take on Stan Fulton or Chris Evans, or maybe find a tag team partner and face the Flying Hawaiians. You know, it really feels good to have this title and have a chance to be interviewed by the great #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline. So do I get my $5 now?
(Meanwhile, behind the interview set, Firechild has run through the crowd and slid into the ring with a lighter and flammable liquid! He prepares to throw a fireball at #HCJ, but is tackled by Honcho Williams. Williams and Firechild brawl. AA, JS and #HCJ are oblivious, until Firechild is knocked into #HCJ, toppling the cardboard cutout into Justin Sane. (You know where this is going, right?) The microphone hits Justin in the head, knocking him unconscious. (Got it yet?) Cardboard Cutout #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline falls on top of Justin Sane. (Now?) A ref crawls out from the under the ring, slides in, counts to three and...
YOUR NEW OOWF DDT CHAMPION--Cardboard Cutout #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline!
AA reviews the situation. Honcho and Firechild are still brawling, so AA grabs the DDT belt, flips it over the shoulder of #Heel Cowboy Johnny, pulls everything from the ring and scampers up the ramp. Meanwhile, Firechild and Honcho Williams proceed to have a 20-minute, 5-star brawl that would be nominated for Match of the Year if, you know, it were on a card. But the Bookerman wouldn’t let this interview segment happen during Midweek Mayhem, so SUCK IT! We all miss out on Justin Sane regaining consciousness, thinking he was in a match, pulling a 20-foot ladder from under the ring, positioning it on the top rope, climbing the ladder and executing a Mindy 1080 McTwist Switch Ollie onto Williams and Firechild. It was awesome! But no one saw it and it’s all DevSop’s fault.
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 9, 2012 1:39:36 GMT -5
-->Williams walks backstage with a slight limp and he runs into CC Scott who looks as if he is about to have a stroke...
CC - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
HW - I'm confused...somebody told me that the guys from Texpress were in the ring and I walked into an interview show with AA and his cutout...
CC - THEN WHY ARE YOU LIMPING AND BLEEDING?
HW - Umm....things got a bit out of hand you could say...
-->At this moment, AA walks trough the entrance and stops to talk to Honcho.
AA - I thought I was your new protege! I just told you I was during the interview show!
HW - *to Scott* oh yeah, that happened too.
AA - But seriously, I was a little surprised that you came to the aid of #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline. He says thanks.
HW - Ok, I say youre welcome.
AA - Dont forget what I have told you...I am your new mentor, it is decided.
HW - But...
AA - It is decided.
CC - Now where...
AA - It is decided.
-->Attitude Adjuster walks off, and, as usual, #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline is turned around staring down both Williams and Scott...
CC - You aren't seriously going to work with this guy?
HW - No. Of course not, but I have started to dislike him a little less. And that cutout is sheer genius....how come we didnt think of that.
CC - I can get one made of styrofoam, like I said!
HW - Nah we cant, for the same reason as last time.
CC - Did you find those Texpress guys, or those tapes?
HW - Yes and no. Yes on the tapes, I set them down in the locker room if you want to look at them, no to finding those guys.
CC - Well, do what you will for a while, I'll go view those tapes.....but dont do anything else stupid.
HW - I'll try not to, cant guarantee anything.
-->As Honcho walks off, he turns around and Firechild is there. Honcho tried to defend himself but it is too late as Firechild blasts him over the head with a steel pipe. Before running off, Firechild yells at Honcho...
FC - Why the hell didnt you let me destroy that annoying thing? It is the dumbest gimmick I have ever seen. Thanks a lot you dumbass.
-->Firechild runs off as Scott comes to the aid of Williams...
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 9, 2012 1:40:21 GMT -5
Psykle is sitting in his private locker room, studying video tape of Alex, Moose and Ricky. A deep voice comes from behind him.
Voice: A great evil has befallen the OOWF.
Psykle doesn’t seem to hear the voice, and continues watching the tape and taking notes.
Voice: All is not right in the OOWF.
Psykle still does not react to the voice.
Voice: Something must be done to right the wrongs.
Psykle stops the video of an Alex Darling and Moosehead Jack encounter.
Voice: Just…
Psykle turns around, and the camera pans, and we see Stevie Richards, fully dressed in his Iron-Stevie regalia.
Psykle: “Justice must be served”, right, I know how this all goes, Stevie…
Iron-Stevie: That’s Iron-Stevie, Citizen Psykle.
Psykle: Right, Iron-Stevie. Look, you’re wrong though, this isn’t “evil afoot” in the OOWF. Ricky Soaring Eagle putting me through a table was just him not being able to control his rage, something I am very familiar with. I will help him. I will teach him how to control his rage. There’s no need for you to go “superheroing” up.
Iron-Stevie: Citizen Psykle, I am not referring to your interactions with Citizen Soaring Eagle, no, there is other evil afoot.
Psykle: Alex and Moose are troubled, but they are not evil the way you see evil. Moose, well, Moose is misguided, and Alex, Alex is having difficulty dealing with Moose’s “activities”, for lack of a better word. The odds are, the two of them will be completely at each other’s throats during the match, and it will be up to Ricky and me to work together to keep some kind of semblance of control in the match so it doesn’t get completely thrown out as soon as the bell rings. So, relax, there’s nothing you are needed for.
Iron-Stevie: Again, Citizen Psykle, you are mistaken, that is not the evil that I speak of.
Psykle: What are you talking about then?
Iron-Stevie: A great evil has befallen the OOWF. That evil must be faced. This is the evil I speak of.
Iron-Stevie places a tape in the VCR (yes, he still has a VCR and actual tapes, Iron-Stevie is old school). He presses play, and the recent events which saw Justin Sane lose the OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal championship to #Heel Cowboy Johnny Adrenaline plays on the TV.
Psykle: I should have known… OK, Iron-Stevie, you go deal with that…go make sure that “Justice Is Served”.
Iron-Stevie: You have it wrong, yet again, Citizen Psykle. I am not alone to deal with this evil, and Just-Us will be served.
Iron-Stevie “flies” out of the room, as Psykle just looks on in disbelief.
Psykle: Sorry to have to paraphrase your catchphrase, champ, but I can’t believe I’m working with this nuthole.
Fade to black.
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 9, 2012 1:41:00 GMT -5
Firechild is back in his dressing room with his cardboard cutout of Heroes Guild "Concrete" Takaken Gryfon.
FC: You know 'crete, it's bizarre. I come back as a face, try to be all respectful and stuff and it seems I'm still running around doing sneak attacks, trying to set folks on fire and then running away from people like a douche.
(Kayfabe is in her apartment guzzling painkillers and straight vodka)
FC: I mean, what do I have to do to be taken seriously as a title chasing good guy?
Firechild looks questioningly at the cardboard cutout.
ccCTG: .....
FC: Geez, I'm talking to the prop I had made to mock my heel-opponent-of-the-weeks insanity like it's a real person. I need help...
Firechild picks up the phone, looks thoughtful then puts it down and picks up his bottle of Jake Danielson instead.
FC: Well, if that's the character you want....
-fade-
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Post by BookerShark on Jan 9, 2012 1:41:43 GMT -5
*fade-in to Chris Evans, who is giving an interview*
So I give you a chance to say something to me after I called you out, and what do you give me, Davin? Ambiguously Gay Duo? Milquetoast? Yeah, the same old tired shit, as usual. You can’t even take me on in a one-on-one match anymore, so do you actually think that I view you as a threat? And just remember: you’re not the only one who has a plan going into this match. Look at who I’m surrounded by: Stan Fulton, The Flying Hawaiians, JP Sparxx, Matt Folz. Every single one of them are champions in their own right, and guys that I know have got my back since they know that I’ve got theirs. And what do you got? Some has-been racist gymnast, a hippie mic-stand and a pathetic junkie for a wife. You’ve got nothing on me, Davin. I..hey, what the hell?
From off-camera, a stray dog comes out and starts nipping at Evans’ feet.
E: The fuck? Get the outta here, ya damn dog!
Evans kicks Shotglass with enough force that it clears a table and hits into the wall. Kai and Aina are shown standing off-camera doing a touchdown pose.
Kai and Aina: It’s good, brah!
E: Heh, thanks guys. Now where was I?
SFJ: Dude, you just kicked a dog.
E: Yeah, what of it? The damn thing was pissing me off.
SFJ: Okay, aside from being a total asshole by kicking a defenseless animal, you realize that was Danny’s dog, Shotglass, right?
E: It was?!
Evans feigns terror for a few seconds.
E: Well, in that case...
Evans points to the unconscious dog and says HA!
SFJ: You really are an asshole, you know that?
E: Hey, I never claimed to be any less. I mean look at me, I’m the Intercontinental champion, I’m the founder of the New Guard, the biggest thing going in this shithole, I’m young, I’m good-looking, I’ve got money. Come to think of it....Ha, DAMN I’M GOOD!
SFJ: *sigh*
*fade to black*
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