OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (04/18) Live! From Atlanta, Ge

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Atlanta, Georgia

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Matt Folz vs. Ricky Soaring Eagle

OOWF Onslaught Championship Elimination Match[/u]
Crowing vs. Rabbit Mask vs. Ghosthead

Texas Tornado Hawaiian Street Fight[/u]
Texpress vs. The Flyin' Hawaiians

DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Fans Bring the Weapons Three Way Dance[/u]
Moosehead Jack vs. Comrade Sharkoff vs. Stank

Non-Title Match[/u]
Attitude Adjuster & Honcho Williams vs. Phoenix Rising

LD Williams & Danny Taylor vs. Chris Evans & Mai Muyo
El Lobo Sangriento vs. Stan Fulton
Psykle vs. JP Sparxx

Card subject to apathetic Atlanta fans

[BookerShark]

<we cut to the back and get a close up of Moose’s back, still bleeding badly, sliced to ribbons from the light tubes Stank powerbombed him into. Moose turns around and blood drips from his face as he gives the camera a blank, distant stare. Finally Moose speaks, with an eerie look in his eyes, and a distant tone in his voice>

Is this what you wanted Stank? Is this how you want it to go down? I didn’t listen to Him. I didn’t listen when He wanted me to slit your throat. I didn’t listen to Him when He wanted me to blind you with broken glass. I didn’t listen. And because of that, this happened. This was my penance……..my punishment for not listening. You don’t get it Stank…..He is always there. You say hate has a short shelf life, you burn through it like rocket fuel, and then when it is gone, there is……..what? Peace? Peace is the first step toward death.

No Stank, that is not how I work, and you know it. I hate. That is what motivates me. He doesn’t tell me WHAT to hate, or WHO to hate, He just channels that hate, He guides me. He motivated me to try and end Crete’s career. He motivated me to nearly kill Alex. He does not tell me to hate, the hate is there, and always will be, and there is nothing you, a pack of therapists, or anyone else on the planet can do about it.

But there is one thing I can do. And I do this only because you and I are friends Stank. This is the last thing I can do……

<Moose holds up a bottle of pills>

Remember these? They don’t really make Him go away, they just make it a little easier to ignore Him. This is what I want, at Territorial Beatings 7, one on one, Moosehead Jack versus Stank for the DDT title. Before the match……I take a handful of these, and He goes away. Whatever happens happens. This is what you want, right Stank? You want Him gone so you can prove something. Just remember…….while He channels the hate, He also keeps me from going too far. You can call that control, I call it preventing a homicide.

<Moose just turns and walks away and we fade to black>

[BookerShark]

FADE in on the OOWF New Guard logo. A voiceover says, “The following announcement is paid for by the OOWF New Guard.”

FADE to black, then FADE in on The Crusher Stan Fulton, Chris Evans, JP Sparxx, Mai Muyo and OOWF World Intercontinental Champion Matt Folz.

CE: “You all thought that without all the gold, the New Guard would fade away and become an afterthought.”

JPS: “Yo, we just gitten started, knowwhatI’msayin’?”

MF: “We’re united in our cause and in each other. The Kai and Aina are no longer OOWF World Tag Team Champions because of a pair of cheating scumbags and they’re reconciling themselves to that; so we’re giving them their space. But they are still an important part of the New Guard.”

MM: “We know we are all champions and we all will be again. Everything comes around full circle.”

CE: “Psykle, Justin. You have experienced what following Danny Taylor’s obsession with the New Guard gets you. It gets you a beating that’ll take days from which to recover.”

MF: “Keeping this Intercontinental Championship last night was way too easy. Give me a challenge, Selena. Then again, who is there in the OOWF that can challenge me?”

SF: “LD Williams, you still hold the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Lucky. I nearly pulled your arm out of its socket. And you never really faced me last night did you? A chop block from behind was your big offense against me. Then tie me into the ropes because you know deep in that scummy Canadian heart of yours that you’re scared of me.

“Lobo, you got me to submit. Well done. Congrats. Now you’ve just pissed me off. I didn’t really have much against you other than your blind obedience to Danny Taylor’s obsession, but this week I’m going to take my annoyance with LD Williams out on you. Call the EMTs and have them on standby.”

CE: “LD and Danny. You get to huff and puff and chase me and Mai around the ring Wednesday. We know you two won’t be able to keep up and then we’ll go in for the kill.”

MM: “Not actually kill you though. That’d be wrong.”

CE: “... Right. Hope your shoulder doesn’t get further injured next week, LD.”

MF: “RSE. I didn’t feel your pain the last week and I really doubt I’ll feel your pain this week. You’re not on my level and you’re damn lucky to be getting a title shot. Your promos are atrocious and your skills in the ring are worse. Another week off for me.”

JPS: “Yo, Psycho dude. Sparxx gonna getcha this week, big biker boy. Youse gonna be stompin’ ‘round like ol’ Frankenstein and Sparxx gonna put the torch to yo ass. Ain’t no way I’m losing this week. I’s gonna start my climb to immortality over your head.”

CE: “Honcho and AA. You cheated to win those titles last week. You didn’t earn them. Next week, Aina and The Kai take them back and the New Guard will make sure that happens.”

MF: “We’re the OOWF’s New Guard and we’re cleaning up this shithole.”

FADE

[BookerShark]

A roving RNSFJ finds Crowing holding an ice-bag to his nether regions backstage...

RNSFJ: Crowing, fresh from another succesful defence...

Crowing: (interrupting, his natural Scots accent really breaking through on account of pain and annoyance) What the actual fuck? I mean we're having a grand wee match, and maybe the referee was a bit hasty with some of thae warnings, but there was no fucking need for Rabbit to boot me in the stanes like that.

RNSFJ: But you walk away as champion...

Crowing: Hobble away with my jewels throbbing like I stood too close tae a calfing coo mare like. I'm no a New Guard type to think that winning by DQ is a guid thing.

RNSFJ: What?

Crowing realises that American journalists don't cope with angry Scots, takes a deep breath and straightens up.

Crowing: Alright lass, I'll lay this down politely. The referee MAY have been a bit overzealous and believe me, I can sympathise with Rabbit getting a mite pissed off about that. However, there is no need to boot me in my lady pleasing parts and get yourself DQ'd. That pains me, screws the fans and removes your own title winning opportunity. I thought Rabbit was... better than that.

RNSFJ: Well it's been announced that next week you'll face Rabbit Mask AND Ghosthead for that Onslaught title in an Elimination Match.

Crowing: Shiny. I like that our darling GM is keeping me busy with challenging defences and the three-way match should remove the possibility of too mcuh overzealous officiating getting in the way of us beating up on each other.

RNSFJ: You're not concerned that you'll be facing two top competitors, hungry to take your belt.

Crowing: I'm motivated, not concerned. As I said, I've got... I HAD all the respect for Rabbit and Ghosthead is a hell of an athlete as well. Both have their strange ways, but I can roll with that. I look forward to throwing down with those boys, maybe educating Rabbit on why it's rude to kick a man in his child creators and then show why I am the Onslaught champion, the best pure wrestler on the face of the planet. Quote me.

Crowing walks off for effect, slightly ruined by his need to hobble a bit to favour his insulted testes...

[BookerShark]

Stank is SITTING~! at Ric's, staring into a cup of coffee, and BROODING~! A smallish shadow falls across him.

S: I know why you're here.

FW: Do you?

She pulls up a chair and sits down.

S: You can save your breath. I didn't choose this fight, but I'm for damn sure not going to back down from it either. I'm tired of all the crazy, and I'm going to make it stop. If nobody else is willing to step up and do it, then I'm doing it. I tried to stay out of it. It was none of my business, but he's made it my business, and I am not a man to step away from business.

FW: I see.

S: So you can come here, all dolled up with your big eyes and your pouty face and plead all you want with me, but it's not going to work, woman.

FW: Dolled up? I just got back from the gym, Lucas...

S: Dolled up in your spandex and tank top like that, all sweaty. This isn't your fight, Firewoman, it's mine. I didn't pick it, but I'm--

FW: Lucas.

S: What?

FW: What are you talking about?

S: Aren't you here to tell me to take it easy on your brother? Tell me how he's misunderstood and he just needs help and understanding? Talk about our great friendship and how he needs support?

FW: Um...no?

S: Oh, so it's the other then.

FW: Yes....wait, no. What is the other exactly?

S: He's not my problem to deal with, you're the only one that understands him, only you can stop him or save him, blah blah blah.

FW: Well, no, that's true--

S: Save your breath.

FW: But that's not why I'm here.

S: Oh...well, uh...

Fire pulls her hands from behind her back. In one hand she has her bunny ears that she puts on her head, in the other she has what appears to be the last two remaining Easter baskets.

FW: Here. Happy Spring!

S: Oh...wow.....

FW: Yours was the last. I gave them to everyone else, except New Guard...and Moose of course. Ricky Soaring Eagle through his against a wall.

S: Sounds about right.

FW: Anyway...

S: Why do I get two?

FW: One for you and one for ... your brother. I would have brought them to the locker room but, well, he kinda creeps me out.

S: He does? I didn't think anything could do that.

FW: Very few things. Earwigs.

S: So...why does he creep you out?

FW: *thinks seriously about this*...I don't know. He just does.

S: Interesting....

FW: Ok, see ya--

S: Where you going?

FW: Uh, shower time, then Alex and I are grabbing dinner...um...do you wanna come, or just sit there and brood.

S: I prefer this to watching you two get all mushie-eyed with each other.

FW: We totally do not do that.

S: Okay, no you don't. But still, I don't like him, and I--

FW: Right, I know, I remember the rest.

S: But...I'm sorry I've missed our ... what did Dr. Freedman call them?

FW: Um...."positive affective ties" or something.

S: I'll be better about it, I promise.

FW: Okay good.

Fire takes off. Stank remains seated, staring at the two baskets, but specifically at the one with the egg labeled "Jared."

[BookerShark]

RNSFJ: Comrade, it's been a quiet couple of weeks for you

Comrade has NOT been quiet! Comrade has been denied the chance to talk to anyone. Mother Russia will not tolerate such shenanigans! So fans, bring your weapons! I will have my chain, and wrap it around the necks of dirty Yankee Moosejack Head! Then I rip off his arms and beat Stank with them! I am tired of being overlooked! and If it takes destroying the most powerful in the Double O F, then THAT is what will happen!

[BookerShark]

We come up in the Destroyatorium, Vic is sitting at the bar as Ashley mans the counter. OOWF World Heavyweight Champion LD Williams enters, and heads over to the bar.

LD: Danny around?

DVD: Him and Lobo are helping Spencer move in the last of the kegs. They should be done in a bit. Pull up a stool and have a drink, and you can talk strategy with me for a bit.

LD smiles and pulls up a stool as Ashley brings over a fresh round. LD goes to lift up his drink, winces a little, then picks it up with his other arm. Vic notices this and raises an eyebrow.

DVD: Shoulder still bothering you?

LD: I won't lie, it's stiff, but I will be ready come Mayhem.

DVD: Here let me.

Vic gets up and grabs at LD's arm. LD doesn't say anything, but throws Vic a strange look. Suddenly Vic violently twists and pushes LD's arm.

LD: Ahhhh! Damn it Vic that......actually feels a little better.

LD twists his arm feeling more rotation in his shoulder.

LD: How?

DVD: Danny used to do MMA before coming here. I picked up a trick or two to try to help him out after some pretty rough bouts.

LD: Huh, guess their is more to you guys then it first appears.

DVD: Yeah. Look LD, I know Danny has been distracted lately, but both this Wednesday, and at Wargames, he will be with you 100%.

LD: I don't doubt his intentions, but he was the first attacked, what happened to Jack, now this face burning with the fireball. Can you honestly say he is focused?

DVD: Honestly? Yeah, I think I can. He wants Evans to feel the pain he has had to feel, but he's not going to stoop to the New Guards tactics to do it. This week, he will back you up, but if the match looks like it's going to turn into a New Guard ambush...well me and Lobo won't be far behind.

LD: That's good to know. Wargames is not really playing to Danny's strengths.

DVD: I wouldn't say that. The MMA days have made him comfortable in a cage, and while Danny may not swing weapons, he is a living weapon. The New Guard, and Chris Evans in particular are going to get what they deserve, one way or another.

At this point, Lobo, Danny and Spencer come around from the back. They see LD, and head towards him.

DVD: Now, why don't you guys discuss strategy for this week while I get the girls to set us up with some "thinking juice"

LD smirks, as we.

FADE

[BookerShark]

Alexander Darling is finishing an interview with a wrestling magazine (remember those?). He turns and is nearly runs directly into Aina.

AD: No New Guard to help you?

Aina smirks.

AD: Cat got your tongue, brah?

Aina's face turns cold.

A: Brah? Did yu really just call me "brah"?

AD: We were brahs. Then you and the New Guard...

A: ME? Did you forget the Trios Championships? WE were still brahs. WE were still Ohana.

AD: Then you started the bully tactics.

A: Ya know...brah? You don't like the paths myself and Kai have taken. That's fine. You and Fire wanna come after us to prove you're a great tag team. Geev'um. But then...you cost us our belts...

Aina snarls and then gives Alex the SLAP OF DISRESPECT. Alex recoils and the two men go eye to eye.

A: You crossed the line. Brah. Now there will be no mercy. On you. Or your piece. You both are now Hawai'i's most wanted. That only ends one way. Brah.

Aina walks away while keeping an eye on Darling.

[BookerShark]

~~~ On the Set of The OOWF Today with our host, Lisa Edelstein

Cheesy Saxaphone music plays and someone yells “ACTION”

LE: Welcome everyone. The last time our guests were on the show, the response was overwhelming. Naturally, we asked them back as soon as we could. Here they are, Chad Madison and Zane Myers the Texpress!

~~~ "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" cranks up and Chad & Zane hit the set. Chad runs into the crowd to give the woman with the “Chad Madison is HOT” sign a kiss on the cheek. Lisa Edelstein looks none too happy about this. After the applause dies off, we get down to business. ~~~

LE: Thanks for joining us today. Let’s get right down to business. First things first, Did you get involved in the Tag Title match this past week to help Attitude Adjuster and Honcho win, or to cost the Flyin’ Hawaii’ans the titles?

Zane: We came out because we said we would. We made it clear months ago that when it came to Tag Team Championship Matches, we would keep the playing field level, and that’s what happened. You saw what happened, the New Guard came out, we followed, and prevented interference. What happens in the ring after that isn’t our fault.

LE: Either way, we have new Champions.

Chad: And we congratulate Capps and Honcho. Now the hunters become the hunted.

LE: Talk for a moment about the Hawaii’ans reign that just ended. 136 days as champions is quite a feat that Kai and Aina pulled off.

Chad: You’re right. It Is impressive. You realize that there have been over 60 Tag Team Championship reigns. They had like the 4th longest run as champions. That’s impressive. Only a couple of teams can say they were champions for a longer stretch. It’s tough to pull off. We know. One of those few teams to hold those Championships longer is us.

LE: Stan Fulton made some comments about how they were cheated out of the titles.

Zane: Fulton talking about cheating? Funny. The problem is, the New Guard started out with a little honor. They won their titles cleanly. But since then, they’ve really deteriorated into just another bunch of thugs.

LE: So let’s move on to this week’s match up; Texpress vs the Flyin’ Hawaii’ans, In a Texas Tornado Hawaii’an Street Fight.

Zane: There are no secrets with Kai and Aina. They know us just as well as we know them. It seems we’ve been in each other’s way ever since they debuted here. You know, on the surface, a street fight would seem to give them the advantage. We definitely prefer not to wrestle this type of match. But over our career here, we’ve had to . We’ve gone toe to toe with rougher, tougher, more vicious and more dangerous men than those two. We’d much rather have a wrestling match without weapons at all. But the thing is, you don’t run alongside Davin Moreland for as long as we did without learning how to put some rebar.

~~~ Reaches beside his chair and pulls out a piece of rebar and places it on Edelstein’s desk. ~~~

Chad: Or baseball bats

~~~ Chad reaches beside his chair and passes two baseball bats to Zane, who places them on the desk as well. ~~~

Zane: Or even a clangy pole

~~~ Zane pulls out the famous Davin Moreland Clangy Pole, full of dents, scratches and maybe even a little blood and CLANGS! It on the floor a couple of times before adding it to the collection on the desk. ~~~

Zane: To good use. So although we don’t like wrestling like that, we are more than capable of going out there and handing you your heads on a platter. And if for a second you think we can’t, then you are as dumb as you look.

LE: And then there’s the match at Territorial Beatings 7. Your first Tag Team Championship Match in a long time. What are your chances?

Chad: Pretty darn good, actually. You know, for over two years now, all we hear for whomever we face is how ‘we’re past our prime’, how we ‘Used to be great, but those days are gone’. And each and every time, what do we do? Prove them wrong. Last summer, we were through, there was no way we could take out the Brass Knuckle Kings. We not only survived, we won back our Championships. Face the Hawaii’ans in Their match at Hell on Earth 7? We win that one too. This year, kept out of the championship hunt since November, what have we done? Won more matches since Hell On Earth 7 than anyone else.

Zane: We climb back to the top time after time after time after time. The Hawaii’ans…. Brass Knuckle Kings… even Phoenix Rising… they all tell us we’re not who we used to be, we’re yesterday’s news, we need to step aside so they can shine, and yet time after time after time after time, we prove that not only Were we the best tag team in the business, we Still are. It shouldn’t really surprise anyone anymore.

Chad: So at Territorial Beatings 7, live! From Apex Hill, Nunavut, Canada (Slight Cheap Pop) In the Double Ring Double Elimination Match, we’ll be going out there and setting the bar Even Higher. And we won’t be settling for a good showing, we won’t be satisfied with anything less than winning the World Tag Team Championships for the 8th time. We are the Measuring Sticks. And it’s about time Kai, Aina, Capps, Honcho, Darling, and yes, even Firewoman, remembered that.

LE: That’s all the time we have for now. I want to thank you for joining us.

Chad: It was my pleasure. How about you let me make it Your pleasure later tonight?

~~~ She giggles and blushes. Suddenly, Comrade Sharkoff storm on to the set. ~~~

Again! You talk to yankee pretty boys and not to Comrade Sharkoff! They have street fight this week. I have street fight this week, with psycho Yankee Moosejack Head and Stank! Why are you not asking me about how I plan to pulverize them? Why are we not talking about me becoming the greatest Champion in Double O F history? Why.. OOMPH

~~~ Sharkoff crumbles to the floor. Behind him, Chad Madison is holding the piece of rebar in his hands. ~~~

LE: Oh my!

~~~ She collapses into Chad’s arms ~~~

Chad: I’m glad you’re safe. He really gets on my nerves sometimes. How about I walk you to your dressing room, lil’ lady?

~~~ Zane just shakes his head and rolls Sharkoff off the stage with his boot, while Chad attends to Lisa Edelstein’s needs ~~~

[BookerShark]

“Matt Folz. You are in a bad position. You have what I want. The Intercontinental Title.

You are a cocky, arrogant son of a bitch. You are lauded as a great technical wrestler.

I don’t give a fuck.

I want that title. And I will do whatever it takes to win it. Unlike most of the dickheads around here, I don’t mean that in a competitive sense. I mean that in a very physical, very violent, very destructive sense. I don’t care if I win it this week. If I go too far and lose then match on technicalities, I won’t mind. I am willing to go above and beyond… the rules, beyond the realms of humanity, to break you. Not mentally, but physically.

So get ready. Get ready to suffer greater than you ever have before. I will break bones you have forgotten you have. I will punish you to the point where you WISH you could pass out from the pain. I am about to subject your body to the beating of your lifetime. I will enjoy it. And if I have to do it to you again the following week to get what I want, well, [evil laugh] then that’s just what I’ll have to do.

So put up a fight. Let me make you hurt again and again and again. I want nothing more than to make you

Feel

My

Pain….. Over and over again!”

Ricky grabs the camera and it crashes to the ground, now filming down the hall on it’s side. We can hear the cameraman screaming and then watch Ricky drag him down the hall and send him headfirst into the metal doors that lead outside. Ricky stomps on the cameraman’s head before walking out the doors and out of sight.

[BookerShark]

Alexander enters the Darling Luxury Suites after his encounter with Aina, and he's significantly less than happy. His mood does not change when he sees Firewoman's psychiatrist, Dr. Freedman sitting at the table, looking through an almost unbelievably thick file folder, which is probably Firewoman's psychiatric records. He scowls even more, as if that was possible.

AD: Great. What are you doing here?

Dr.SF: Didn't Fire mention I was going to be traveling with you guys for a bit?

AD: Yeah, that was months ago.

Dr.SF: Well, I forgot about it until now.

Kayfabe comes running in and throws a pie in Dr. Freedman's face. He cleans himself off.

Dr.SF: I mean....my schedule just now cleared up.

AD: Oh...that still doesn't answer the question.

Dr.SF: Well, there's only so much you can do via Skype. And Fire can be very deceptive sometimes, it's part of the whole syndrome, so I have to see if what she's telling me is actually true. Where is she?

AD: I think she's sleeping.

Dr.SF: She is? Really?

AD: Yeah, she's been doing better with that.

Dr.SF: But it's four in the afternoon.

AD: Well, timing is still problematic. Plus she went out with Texpress to celebrate her and Zane's wins, and didn't get back until..well, we went for a run at 6:30, so probably about then.

Dr.SF: *checking something in the Very Big File* Tsssssk....still doing that, eh?

AD: Yeah...that a problem?

Dr.SF: Definitely. As we get through some issues, others can surface, like addiction--

AD: She is NOT a fucking addict! She's never done illegal drugs at all, and she doesn't even drink anymore that much.

Dr.SF: There's other things to be addicted to, Alex.

AD: Whatever. I'm not waking her.

Dr.SF: No, no, that's okay. So....sleeping is good? Nightmares gone?

AD: *relaxing a bit* Mostly, and even if she has one, the screaming is not as bad.

Dr.SF: *looking at his notes and nodding* Good, good.... *he looks over his glasses at Alex* You know, I still think that if she were to check in to that program in Kansas that We talked about--

AD: Absolutely not. If that's what you're here for, to talk us into some institution, you can just fucking leave now. She's done a lot of work--

Dr.SF: I don't doubt that.

AD: --And she's ... She's actually BETTER than she was even when we first met. Although....

Dr.SF: Although?

AD: The...the holidays thing...she's a bit...obsessive.

Dr.SF: Ah...yes....I've noticed.

AD: Can we do something about that?

Dr.SF: Well.... *shuffles more papers*...I WAS going to decrease the dosage of the anti-depressant, but--

At that moment, they are both interrupted by a blood-curdling scream from the bedroom. They look at each other, clearly thinking that things aren't necessarily as good as they thought, and then both burst out of their chairs and run into the bedroom. The INC forgets that it's 'off limits' and follows them in.

Scene change and we're in Fire and Alex's room, and find Fire standing on the bed, holding a pillow in front of her. It's a good thing, too, because Fire doesn't wear anything when she sleeps.

AD: Fire...Lis...what is it?

FW: *panicked* IT'S THERE...IN THE BATHROOM....

Dr.SF: *looking in the bathroom door* Fire...calm down...you're hallucinating...or you've had a nightmare....there's nothing in the bathroom.

FW: DON'T FUCKING PSYCHOANALYZE ME RIGHT NOW! IT'S IN THERE UNDER THE SINK!!

Alex goes looking in and calls out the door.

AD: Hon...I don't see anything....

FW: I DON'T CARE, IT WAS IN THERE!

There's sounds of Alexander looking around. He comes back out.

AD: Fire, there's nothing under the sink except some stray hairs, a scrap of kleenex, and a bug with what looks like pincers on it's butt.

FW: EXACTLY! KILL IT!

AD: Are you serious? It's smaller than my big toe?

FW: YOU CAN EITHER KILL IT OR WE CAN MOVE TO AN ENTIRELY NEW SUITE ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FLOOR AND--

AD: Fine, fine, just...stop yelling. Dr. Freedman, perhaps you could assist me in determining what this is?

Dr. Freedman comes in to the bathroom too.

Dr.SF: It's an earwig.

AD: Okay then....*calling out*....Fire...I'm going to kill it now... but just in case I don't make it--

FW: NOT FUNNY!

AD: Okay, okay...sorry. Just...stop yelling.

Alexander looks around and grabs a shoe, and then goes into the bathroom. There's a loud bang, which makes Fire jump (but not drop the pillow). There's a pause and Alex comes back out with his shoe in one hand and a wadded up tissue in the other.

AD: Okay, it's dead. So--

FW: FLUSH IT! TWICE!!

AD: Okay, and then you should get dressed because Dr. Freedman is here, and...wait, why is the INC in here? Get the fuck out!

Alex manhandles the INC shoving him out of the room. Dr. Freedman follows and they shut the door to the room, as the INC decides it'd be best to FAAAAAAAAAAAADE....

[BookerShark]

**L.D. Williams is sitting at a corner table in the Destroyitarium, discussing strategy with Dynamite Danny Taylor when SFJ#47 joins them.**

SFJ#47: “Gentlemen, can I get your thoughts on the New Guard’s recent comments?”

LDW: “Sure - Tell her Danny.”

DDT: “-”

SFJ: “Very Funny.”

LDW: “I thought so.”

DDT: <shrugs>

SFJ#47: “So? Your thoughts?”

LDW: “Evans has a point - Danny has a lot of quick, but neither of us is going to be able to keep up with him or Mai. But, there’s two flaws in his theory. First, he’s counting on out manoeuvring us. For that to work they have to stay out of our reach all the time whereas we only have to catch them once.

SFJ#47: “And the second flaw?”

LDW: “Mai and Evans have only been allies for a few weeks. Wednesday night. they’re going to expend as much effort staying out of each other’s way as they do staying ahead of us. But Danny and I…well, when Outback Jack took on Danny as his partner, who do you think he called to help them train? We’re not a well-oiled machine, but I daresay we’re more used to working together than they are.

Jack and I also taught Danny a little thing called the International Death Sentence. You probably don’t remember it - it’s hardly ever been used. But if we hit it, it‘ll be the last memory you have.”

**Danny smiles, and mouths “Boom”**

<fade>

[BookerShark]

*Much later in the day*

The cameras turn on and we see an old-school sit down interview setup. Quorra is getting her makeup applied as the door opens and Alexander Darling walks in. Alex pulls his black hoodie off showing the Phoenix Rising version of the DEA jersey as he takes a seat across from Quorra.

Quorra: Thank you for finally agreeing to this.

Alexander: Felt like it was time to finally say something.

Quorra: Okay, let's start off with the easy question first? Where is Firewoman?

Alexander: I believe she's out corrupting the innocent of Georgia.

Quorra: And that doesn't bother you? At all?

Alexander: I've known who Fire was since the day I met her really. I've accepted her for that person since that day and I've never been one to try and change or control her no matter what other people will think or say. So if Fire finds it entertaining to locate the local innocent and see how much she can corrupt them, then so be it. If she finds it interesting to worship or sacrifice things, then so be it. It is who she is and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Quorra: Okay, that answers that but you did agree to this interview as a one-on-one, why?

Alexander: *Sliding his hand through his hair* Here's the thing Quorra, from the day I've started in this business, I haven't had a lot of friends. Some of that is from my own doing and some of that is because I don't think my peers have ever truly understood my motivations. I'm not going to throw a pity party or anything so let me get back to answering your specific question. Fire's not here because she's made her opinions towards our opponents in a few weeks quite clear. She's friends with Chad and Zane. She has a history with AA but has grown to respect his inherent ability and she sees the potential in Honcho and she, right now hates Kai and Aina.

Quorra: That's what this is really all about, isn't it? The breakdown of the friendship with the Hawaiians and the slap that the entire world saw yesterday?

Alexander: I've tried for so long to stay out of this New Guard business. I really have. Chris Evans, Matt Folz, JP Sparxx, and Stan Fulton...I don't like any of them. That's for damn sure but the fact was I understood their motivation and I even understood their methods. I've been where they were and I did some despicable things to make my way through the ranks of every company I've worked for. And the fact is, while I like Danny and Jack and Lobo...it wasn't my fight and I never wanted to make it my fight.

Quorra: Was it the attack on Davin, your brother in law, that changed things then?

Alexander: Yes and no. The truth is Davin and I have never exactly been besties or anything, but Sam is my big sister and she loves the guy. So whatever my history with Davin, it's all secondary to the simple fact that he's family and the New Guard targeted my family.

Quorra: But this was after you had been growing a lot closer to the Hawaiians over the last year or so. For a time there, it looked like the three of you were on the cusp of aligning into something bigger and you even went as far as winning the Campeonas de Trios with them. How did it feel to see them as such a big part of the attack that looks like it ended Davin Moreland's career?

Alexander: It fucking sucked. That's how it felt. Aina, Kai, and I had moved on from our past and the future looked bright for a time, but it looks like that wasn't meant to be. Now I could have let it go. I could have bottled everything up and realized it was just business and moved on, but the bottom line is...and even Kai and Aina will tell you this, family is what matters at the end of the day. Davin is family. Fire is family. And the truth is, Kai & Aina could have been family, but they've chosen their family.

Quorra: So the lines were drawn that day?

Alexander: You'd have to ask them. Maybe they'll tell you the line was drawn all those years ago when I turned my back on them and this is just the retribution I always deserved. And maybe it is, but if that's the case, it's not a fight I can avoid. And if it's not about our history but about their future, the simple fact is Kai and Aina have chosen the wrong family. Evans is a leech. A blood-sucking leech who sucks at anyone and everyone who's better than him. He's done it since his first day here when he started following Fire around like a puppy until the day Davin took him under his win. With Evans, he's nothing more than a sponge soaking up everything around him and getting dirtier and dirtier with each passing day. Folz, well the less said there the better, but just know that there was a time when I truly thought he could be one of the best but now all I see is a glut of wasted potential from a never was. Fulton's a cancer. He morphs into what he thinks the world wants and adapts until he gets a better offer. Sooner or later the New Guard won't be enough for him and you can already see the signs of that. He lost the World Title and within weeks he was already campaigning for tag team title shots when those belts, at the time, were held by his partners. His "family." And the rest of the New Guard is whatever.

Quorra: But Kai and Aina?

Alexander: Kai and Aina. The Pineapple Express. The Night Marchers. Disciples of Poe. The Flyin' Hawaiians. The fact is it doesn't matter what their names are and it doesn't matter how hard they slap. To me, this has never been personal because like I said, deep down I understand their motivations and methods. I may not agree with them anymore, but it doesn't change what I've done and I'd be a hypocrite if I held them to a higher standard. But there is one simple undeniable fact about the future. Our paths are going to cross. And I know their methods. I know their motivations. I know the worst they can do because I've done it and far worse. Nothing they do will surprise me and that's going to be their downfall.

Quorra: To me, it sounds like you're treating this like any other opponent but we all know it's not just another opponent.

Alexander: It's not, but I can't continue to treat every opponent and encounter as a life or death struggle. Fire can take what they did to Davin personally and I understand that. But the bottom line is, I'm not going to do that because then they'll have me where they want me. Out of control and on a path to destruction; mine, theirs, everyones and I refuse to walk that path again. So, I'm going to focus on what I can. Control what I can. And do what I do best.

Quorra: And what's that?

Alexander: Be the very fucking best this business has ever seen. It's just a matter of time now before Fire and I achieve our goal of become Grand Slam Champions. And if Kai and Aina want to stand in our way, I say let them try because they need to remember one thing. I am Alexander Fucking Darling, and they, well, they just aren't.

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

Matt Folz is walking back from the gym to his locker room, listening to his music player, when he gets BLINDSIDED by a tire iron shot to the back of the head that drops him to the ground. Ricky Soaring Eagle begins raining down blows with the weapon, then starts stomping Folz’s b neck and knees as intensely as he can.

The assault lasts several tense moments until a production assistant turns the corner and spots it. He turns and runs, and Ricky finally stops. He looks down at the unconscious intercontinental champion, then kneels and whispers loudly in his ear.

“You think I’m not worth your time? Don’t bother mentioning me at all this week? Maybe now you’ll take me seriously. This was just the tip of the iceberg. What I have in store for you on Wednesday is so much more.

And yeah, I’m sure the rest of your little buddies will be coming after me soon. I welcome it. Because every ache or pain they give to me, I will pay you back tenfold. So tell them to come after me. I BEG you. Because when you do, I will make sure you

FEEL

MY

PAIN!”

Ricky accents the last phrase there with a final tire iron shot to the back of the head and then walks up the hallway and out of sight.

[BookerShark]

Good morning, this is American Sunrise for a Tuesday morning, the 17th day of April, I'm Wyatt Cox.
Before we get to the day's news, I want to talk about something that has been on my mind for a while, and that is the current state of affairs in what still has to be the best Professional Wrestling organization in the world today, the OOWF.
For some time this organization flew head and shoulders above the rest despite management that one could say lived or died depending on the quality of whatever GM The Rick could get in his flask that week. But now, thanks to the leadership of GM Selena al-Takriti the quality of matches and the quality of the cards themselves has been stepping up. So much that not only am I looking forward to being ringside for their July 29th pay-per-view just 240 miles south of me in Las Vegas, I have received a special invitation to show up at this week's Midweek Mayhem in Atlanta. Thursday's program should be coming to you from our friends at Talk 920. I say should because, quite frankly, I hope that after the card I am up to it.
Yes, I love the organization, I love the fans, I love the wrestlers, even that crazy Justin Sane, who still owes me five dollars. But I'm truly concerned about one of the performers who is, well, quite frankly, underperforming.
You see, for years I've watched the rising star of one Lisa Darling, you know her as Firewoman. Not long ago she was the biggest thing that the OOWF had going for it. What a story. A woman excelling in the same wrestling ring as men much larger than her.
Now, sadly, she's an afterthought.
Oh, don't get me wrong, she's still better than 99 percent of the professional wrestlers in the world today. But she seems to have lost her edge.
Why? Who knows for sure.
Maybe it's been her marriage to Alexander Darling. One wrestler made it clear. Darling married her to take her out of the singles title picture. And it's true that while before she was married she held the prestigious OOWF World Title, since her marriage her record has been – less than stellar. She's been more interested in Holiday Celebrations than holding titles – more interested in baking cookies than breaking opponents.
Some of the scuttlebutt I hear is that renowned therapist Dr Sidney Freedman is working with the Darlings and trying to get Lisa to come off the road and undergo some more intense therapy.
Whatever the case, I will be looking forward to the non-title match where the Darlings as Phoenix Rising prove that they deserve a title shot in their non-title match against Attitude Adjuster and Honcho Williams. If the Darlings come ready to prove they're ready to be champions again, this could be match of the night, and certainly better than that Matt Folz-Ricky Soaring Eagle farce that is your alleged main event or the hardcore garbage that the Texpress and the Hawaiians are in and much better than. Oh, speaking of Garbage, a DDT Ironman three way Fans bring the Weapons match between Moosehead Jerk, er, Jack, Stank, and Comrade Sharkoff, who will most likely be a weapon, is also a device ripped right from the legacy of ECW pre WWE and will probably stink.
No doubt it will be a fun night otherwise, and I hope you will tune in to Midweek Mayhem tomorrow night, check you local listings. We'll get to the day's news in just a moment here as American Sunrise continues on your favorite Radio Station.

(A Ron Paul ad www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqRPZmUvhaM runs while Wyatt picks up the phone)

Good morning Cheryl. Call my insurance broker and make sure that rider and umbrella policy I requested are ready for my trip tomorrow night. No, dear, I don't expect any trouble, but knowing the mental state some of these people are in, I want to be ready for anything. Yes Dear, Lab Din Kita.
(Wyatt hangs up the phone)
(Under his breath) This could be incredibly fun, or I could be incredibly stupid...)

[BookerShark]

FADE in on the OOWF New Guard logo. A voiceover says, “The following announcement is paid for by the OOWF New Guard.”

FADE to black, then FADE in on The Crusher Stan Fulton.

“There’s been nothing interesting going on for days here in the OOWF. Do you know why?

“The New Guard knows. The New Guard has been aware of this for a long time.

“It’s because no one cares about the establishment. The OOWF Universe™ is bored silly with the current World Champion. Davin was right about one thing. LD Williams is a fraud. His championship is a fraud. No one cares. No one’s watching. Ratings are plummeting. Merchandise is sitting on the shelves.

“When the New Guard had all the gold, the fans cared. They may not have liked us, but they cared. The ratings were through the roof. The merch was moving.

“And let me respond to Alex “Silver Spoon” Darling. I’m a cancer and a morpher, huh? Please. I don’t cut open my future wife. I don’t live like a blueblood and then claim I’m just like the everyman.

“You, Alex, are the biggest morphing fraud this company has ever seen. You are a hypocrite, Alex. Every time you open your mouth you’re a hypocrite. Because unless you say, “I’m a rich snob who drugged Fire in order for her to marry me and when I’m done dirtying my hands in the OOWF I’m going back to mummy and daddy’s” you’re a hypocrite.

“I may change my short-term goals and I may change my allegiances, but I’ve never, EEEVVVVVVAAAAHHHHH, claimed to be anything than what I am. I’m a blue collar fighter who knows a couple of wrestling moves who wants that brass ring that you’ve been holding onto and hiding behind your back all along. And I’ve said I’ll align with anyone that gets me closer to it.

“Chris, Matt, JP. They knew that when they recruited me. And as for the Tag Team comments? I’ve never made my ambition to be a Grand Slam champion secret. The Kai and Aina knew that was my ultimate goal. They also knew that I would do anything and everything I was able to in order that they hold onto those Tag Team Championships.

“Alex, we’ve let you and Fire be in the New Guard’s cleansing of the OOWF. As you’ve said, you’ve done the same. Davin was a cancer on this company. Davin was neither your family nor your friend. Davin was family in marriage only. Davin didn’t give a wet slap about you or Fire. So don’t get all emotional about his departure. And don’t get involved.

“Seriously. You’re not stupid. You’ve seen what happened to Jack and Davin and what almost happened to Danny. Did you want Lisa to be a widow? Did you want to pull her into the firing line? Because we have left you alone. Don’t go poking the bear. Even if you’re the wolf, you’re going to get mauled.

“And now to my match Wednesday against El Lobo Sangriento. A very talented and great wrestler. Powerful and quick. I’ve got my work cut out for me. But my work’s been cut out for me since I got here. I’ve had to work my way up to where I am. I didn’t come from a snooty blueblood family to get me started. I didn’t come from a dysfunctional, violent family where this was all ingrained at an early age and it comes naturally.

“I worked my large, white ass off to get here. And I’m not done yet. So Lobo, you’re my next victim. I’m not going to rage and scream or listen to voices or channel my adolescent fears and pain.

“I’m going to calmly, succinctly inform you that I will be hurting you and walk out of Atlanta with a victory. I even make you this kind offer.

“Enjoy... the pain.”

FADE

[BookerShark]

*We cut to Stank and The OOWF World Champion, LD Williams sitting in a bar. Stank is on his cellphone and nods. He ends the call while LD nearly finishes his beer. Stank stares off into space with a sort of intense thoughtfullness. LD stares at him a bit with a question on his mind.*

LDW - ... ... .. Well?

*Stank pauses a beat or two before answering.*

Stank - Not yet.

*LD Williams finishes off his beer and slams the mug down on the table with a loud thack! Several other patrons look over, startled by the noise. LD kind of glares at them until they go back to minding their own business, before turning his attention back to Stank.*

LDW - I think it's time.

Stank - No.

LDW - Damn it Lucas! You're just as stubborn as he is!

Stank - I'm not done.

LDW - Why would they tell you anything. Maybe you should let Lisa in on-

Stank - Hell... no.

LDW - You can't keep this from her.

Stank - I'm not sure I'm keeping anything from her.

LDW - You've never talked with her about it.

Stank - Have you?

LDW - No. Never had a reason to.

Stank - And she's never talked with her friends about it I assume because she knows just as much about it as we do.

LDW - Which isn't much.

Stank - So what's the problem?

LDW -

Stank - I'm just trying to-

LDW - I know.

Stank -

LDW - Let me know when you're done.

Stank - You'll know when I'm done. Everyone will.

*LD Williams rises to his feet and exits the bar. Stank stares down at his beer taking note of the remaining INC.*

Stank - Is this what I want, Moose? You keep asking me that. I tried giving you the long answer, but it doesn't seem to satisfy you. So here's the short... in a word... No. This is not what I want.

Don't take the pills. If you do, HE won't be around to bear witness.

I want you to try to kill me. I WANT you to slit my throat. Do it Moose. Do whatever it is HE wants you to do. Because then and ONLY then will YOU know what I do already. When I BEAT you and take that DDT championship away from you. You will know. When you are lying there in a pool of your own blood and HE is toiling around inside your head... THAT is when you will know. My only hope is that you're alive long enough to realize it.

Trust me.

Fade

[BookerShark]

Firewoman and Alex come into the Darling Suites. Alex is exhausted, but Fire is bouncing off the walls.

FW: I don't know how you could be tired.

AD: Fire....we ran I don't know how many miles today...then it was back and bicep and abs day.

FW: Mmm...abs...my favorite.

AD: And then what...3 hours of ring work?

FW: Two and a half.

AD: After three hours yesterday...and you know you could pull a punch once in a while.

FW: Sorry.

AD: You never said how the wedding was?

FW: Oh, it was awesome. Jessica was beautiful, and everyone ended up in their underwear.

AD: Huh?

Quorra comes in with a microphone.

FW: Aw, man....I'm all sweaty.

Q: I need to get your response to comments made at a press conference held by a fan.

AD: Wait...fans hold press conferences?

Q: *shrug* This one did?

FW: *batistalaugh* I saw it. He tries to sound all smarky, but he misses that the person who accused Alex of that was actually my brother, who isn't exactly "all there" these days.

AD: Any days, really.

FW: Look, the point is...fans can say what fans say.

Q: Really? You're not mad that he called you an afterthought? That he basically said your marriage is a sham?

FW: *batistalaughs* You know...an old friend was kind enough to get us decent seats to Wrestlemania, and to a lot of the other activities surrounding it--

AD: Who did give us those, anyway?

FW: --And here's what I noticed. Hell of a lot of John Cena shirts on, and not all of them were twelve-year-olds. And no doubt MANY of them were booing and chanting "Cena sucks" at the events.

Q: I don't get your point.

FW: My point is...he can say what he wants about the direction he thinks my career is. He can comment on my personal life, my psychological issues...

My point is....he is still talking about ME.

Q: I see...

FW: So, let him talk. He's a fan he has the right to do so. Of course, if he ever wants to see for sure if I've lost my edge, well, he's more than welcome to get in the ring with me and put that theory to the test. That would sparkle with me.

Q: Okay....I don't know that he will, though.

AD: Are we done? I need to shower, and take maybe a four hour nap.

FW: You're not going out with me?

AD: I have to sleep sometime, and so should you. Where are you going?

FW: I'm supposed to meet LD and Stank, so we won't be too late.

AD: Um, I think I'll pass...still not Stank's favorite person. You can wake me up when you get back though.

FW: Fine...

Quorra goes back to wherever interviewers go when they aren't being used, and the INC fades.

[BookerShark]

We come up in catering, where Dynamite Danny Taylor is stacking up on some pizza rolls (don't forget that Mags helped "train" him). Chris Evans walks in and makes a bee line for him. Danny turns and sets the tray down. The two just stare eye to eye, neither making a move. Evans lifts a finger up and touches just below his left eye.

Evans: Looks like you have something on your face.

Danny's face begins to flush red, but he makes no move other than clenching his teeth. Evans smiles a shit eating grin.

Evans: Cat got your tongue. Or like the rest of the old guard, are you just ta.....

Evans drops like a rock as a fist strikes him on the chin sending him down. The camera zooms over and we see El Lobo standing there.

Lobo: Don't forget, Danny does not fight this battle alone.

At this point, Stan Fulton and Mai Muyo enter catering.

Fulton: Neither does Evans.

Mai: Yeah you big meanie.

LD walks in standing between Lobo and Taylor. He casually glances between the two of them.

LD: I may not be D&D, but I've been known to enjoy a drink (a wicked smirk crosses his face), and I'm more than ready to cause some destruction. So, the odds look even.

Lobo: If you are feeling froggy new guard......Leap.

Danny mouths the word Boom as Mai helps Evans to his feet.

[BookerShark]

Honcho Williams burst in the door to find Attitude Adjuster wearing his tag team title belt and looking very confused at his cell phone.

HW: We’re the OOWF tag team champions! This is great! Why haven’t we promo-ed yet?

AA: I’m a bit confused.

HW: New cell phone?

AA: No, no. I understand the cell phone. I just don’t get THIS!

Honcho looks at the phone. He sees “You have 47 new messages.”

HW: So answer you messages! People dig that we’re the new champs!

AA: That’s the problem. I think someone hacked a lot of the OOWF accounts. I have messages here from Stank and Justin Sane and…

HW: They’re happy for you!

AA: But I also got E-Mails from LD Williams, TexPress and Firewoman. I even got a message from LD Williams’ Mom!

HW: You’re a face. They LIKE you! They REALLY LIKE you!

AA: Firewoman? LD Williams’ Mom?

HW: You do have a bad history with women, don’t you?

AA: Are you breaking kayfabe?

HW: What?

AA: Nothing. Crazy woman in Wyoming. Lots of credit card bills. Don’t worry about it.

HW: Huh?

AA: So what do I do with this? I can’t reply to Firewoman. We have a tag team non-title match at OOWF MidWeek Mayhem, Live! From Atlanta, Georgia (cheap pop!) against Fire and that cheap excuse of a partner she has. I can’t reply to a message that says “Hey BabyDaddy! You got the belts again!” and then beat the crap out of her in the ring.

HW: That would be confusing.

AA: You know what else is confusing? Why are you wearing the OOWF tag team title belt?

HW: Because I’m your partner?

AA: Give me that! The belt rightly belongs to No Longer OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion #Heel Cardboard Cutout Johnny Adrenaline, with Special Bob Orton Jr. Memorial Wrestling Cast! He is now OOWF Tag Team Champion Though No Longer OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion #Heel Cardboard Cutout Johnny Adrenaline, with Special Bob Orton Jr. Memorial Wrestling Cast.

HW: That name is getting ridiculously long.

AA: You’re talking to a guy who had a feces-throwing monkey named Fred as part of his entourage. Don’t tell me what’s ridiculous. Now give me that belt. Plus, if you don’t get to wear it and this cardboard cutout does, it will give the OOWF one more reason to keep the belts on us. It’s called tension! You want to remain champion, right?

HW: Yes?

AA: Then hand over the belt!

Honcho take the belt from around his waist and give it to AA. AA puts the belt around the waist of OOWF Tag Team Champion Though No Longer OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion #Heel Cardboard Cutout Johnny Adrenaline, with Special Bob Orton Jr. Memorial Wrestling Cast.

HW: You realize that the person writing our matches hates you.

AA: Way to break kayfabe. You’re finally getting the hang of it.

HW: We’re losing this non-title match this week, right?

AA: Yep.

HW: Your ex-wife was a douche.

AA: Yes, yes, she was.

[BookerShark]

A reporter catches Rabbit Mask arriving at the arena. He approaches him cautiously.

R: Rabbit Mask, last week you had an Onslaught title match against the champion, Crowing. But you got yourself disqualified, why?

RM: The belt wasn't my goal last week. Hell, it wasn't my goal two weeks ago when I won the opportunity to face Crowing for it. I went into that match looking to drop the Ghost on his head. When I had the chance to secure the title shot, though, I just couldn't pass it up. I've been overlooked in this company since day one, and here was my chance to put an end to that. Which is where what happened last week comes into play. It's me against Crowing for the belt. That's not exactly what I what. I want the belt, sure, but I want Ghosthead's skull on a pole all the same. So I kick Crowing in the dick, walk to the back and do some politicking, and look at what's on the card this week... Me vs. Crowing vs. Ghosthead, for the belt. Now I can kill two birds with one stone. Ghosthead, you'll be leaving on a stretcher. Crowing, you'll be leaving as the former champ. As for me, I'll be leaving as the new OOWF Onslaught Champion, and the best wrestler in the world.

[BookerShark]

<An INC comes into a locker room, and we catch Moose in mid-conversation……this time with someone on his cell phone>

…….Yeah, it was good seeing you too…….awesome work against Generico, sick shit……..yeah thanks again for that, I plan on using it this week……….no, I am not going to tell you what I am going to do, you will just have to watch………..yeah I know……….I know……….fuck what they think………….yeah……..when, August? No shit? Well we will be there too, the three of us should team up and horrify the Japanese into a coma………fuck no the GM won’t say shit about it……..I dunno, something in my contract, doesn’t matter………..yeah me too…….ok man……….yeah……..no, you tell her, I want nothing to do with her……..not even worth your time man………and eight man? No, fuck that………no………you want that, you do it without me, not happening now, or ever…………ok man, later.

<Moose hangs up the phone and stands there and closes his eyes. He cocks his head, listening, then speaks……though the INC pans around and there is no one else in the room>

What do you want me to do? He won’t back down. I have given him every opportunity not to go down this road, there is no reason to go down this road, and he won’t take it. No, he wants you there. <long pause> yes……I’ll listen. It’s what you both want, right?

<Moose sighs and we fade to black>

[BookerShark]

*Ric's Sandwich Shop*

The place is pretty full as numerous wrestlers come and go the day before the show. Around the room we see AA & Honcho at one table having an animated discussion while Cardboard Johnny looks on stoically. Across the room we see Chad, Zane, and Bridgette going over some notes. And in one of the center tables we see the women of the New Guard; Jewel, Noelani, and Jaime McAllister enjoying a meal when there's a large shadow coming across the table. The girls look up and see Alexander Darling standing there. The three women quickly look to get up, but Alex quickly places his hands on Noelani's shoulders and shoves her back down into the chair. Jamie and Jewel share a look before quickly scattering as Alexander pulls out a pair of handcuffs and places them on the table as he takes a seat.

Alexander: We can do this the easy way or the hard way Lani.

Noelani: *looking secure* You don't scare me Alexander Darling. You never have, you never will.

Alexander: Noe, if I wanted to scare you, believe me, you'd be scared. But this isn't about that.

Noelani: You better talk quick. You know Jewel and Jaime are on their way to get the guys.

Alexander: Figured as much. I could threaten you. I could call out the fact that you're a cold-hearted, manipulative bitch but the world always knew that. And I can talk about how every time you're around Kai and Aina lose sight of who they are and become less than they can be.

Noelani: Thought I said to make it quick, BOY.

*Before she can react, Alex's hand snaps across the table and grabs Noelani around the throat.*

Alexander: Kai and Aina were friends. And maybe they can be again one day. But you, you're nothing to me. Never were. Never will be. But I also know you'll deliver my message quite clearly. Tell the Hawiians, Aina especially, you reap what you sow. And Aina...he's sowed a great deal and I'm coming for him.

*Alex lets go and pushes his chair away from the table as he grabs the handcuffs and starts to walk away*

He heads over to the Texans table first and without saying a word, grabs one of their cups of coffee. He then heads across the room towards one of the exits as Kai, Aina, JP Sparxx, and Matt Folz enter from the opposite end. They see Alex as he stops in front of AA. He pours the cup of coffee over Honcho's head.

Alexander: See you guys Wednesday, I have to go. That was Chad's coffee, by the way.

AA: What are you looking at Honcho. Attack Chad.

Honcho: But he didn't...but...fine *just shakes his head*

As Honcho gets up and starts crossing the room, AA is a step behind and they get in the New Guard's way and there's a whole big scene of pushing and shoving as the Texans get up and get involved, all while Alex sneaks out the back door as we...

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

As they leave Ric's Sandwich Shop ($4 Dollar Footlongs All...Night...Long. Beat that Fat Boy! WOOOO!), Kai leaves the New Guard to grab a ninjacam.

Kai: The Kai has been quiet, but now the Kai will speak, so you better listen up jabronis. Alexander Darling. You were the Kai's brah. Firewoman, you were the Kai's makamaka. But you fell victim to what has been killing families and relationships since man kind got off their lice filled asses and started walking! Success.

Now, the Kai and his bruddah will be tyhe first to admit, the Tag Team Championships mean a great deal. BUt the Kai and his bruddah do not need some stupid piece of tin to prove that they are the best in the world today! You want to be Grand Slam Champions, well good for you. Naturally, since your true pussy colors have shown through, you knew you couldn't beat the Kai and his bruddah, you took a different approach. You helped a rag tag team of losers like Homo Williams and Asshole Adjuster win belts they did not deserve!

Kai smirks.

Kai: Well, you see, that's just fine with the Kai. You see, the Kai has been a bit bored. All the baby kissing, magazine interviews, gold diggin' pieces of pie who wanted the Kai's kielbasa, got a bit tiresome. There's only so much of the Kai to go around. So thank you. Thank you for taking away the burden of carrying a tag team division that's more full of crap than Rush Limbaugh's septic tank!

The Kai and his bruddah can take our belts back whenever we want. But now, now it's time to have a little fun. And the Kai's fun always, and I damn well mean ALWAYS, comes at someone else's expense. And now, it will come at yours.

So, get your fancy massages, burn some incense, frighten a small child, do whatever it is you do Alex and Firewoman to relax and prepare. Because the Kai means business, and the entire Hawai'ian Nation is coming after you with the horns of the Lava Bull. You were ohana. Now...to the Kai...you're just 'opala.

IF YA SMELLLLLLLALALALOW. WHAT THE KAI. IS. SURFIN.

...and it doesn't smell like 'opala. Oh, and Texpress. Hana Hou. Pomaika`i

Kai arches his eyebrow before pushing the ninjacam away.

[BookerShark]

~~~ Chad, Zane and Bridgette are walking back to their dressing rooms after the little skirmish in catering ~~~

Chad: So what did El Kai say to us? Hanukkah Pomegranate?

Zane: I have no idea. I can't understand most of what he says to begin with. He's almost as bad as J-P.

Chad: J-P was ok there for a while.

Zane: No, no he wasn't

~~~ Suddenly, Honcho Williams jumps out from behind a randomly placed stack of boxes. He take a defensive posture ~~~

Zane: What the heck are you doing?

Honcho: Waiting for you to come by an ambush me.

Chad: And why would we do that?

Honcho: I'm not really sure. Alan said.

Chad: Stop right there. Any sentence that starts with 'Alan said' isn't going to end well for you

Honcho: ..... True. But he is my partner. He's watching out for me.

~~~ Zane gestures broadly around him ~~~

Zane: I don't see him here.

Honcho: Yeah, he said something about the senior buffet at the IHOP and then catching the A's game.

Zane: Why would he send you our here after us?

Honcho: Well, we are in a blood feud.

Chad: We are?

Honcho: Wrestling Rule 47. "Throwing Coffee on another wrestler is grounds for a Blood Feud"

Zane: And where is this rule written?

Honcho:... I.. I don't think they are. But Alan said...

Chad: There we go again. 4 things wrong with your reasoning there. One, you used 'Alan said.' Two, the coffee wasn't thrown on you, it was more like it was dumped on your head. Three, I didn't do the dumping, Alex did. and Four, it wasn't my coffee.

Honcho... It wasn't?

Chad: That cup was just sitting on our table, but none of us drink coffee. We all drink Aquafina

~~~ On cue, Chad reaches behind him and produces 4 bottles of Aquafina ~~~

Zane: Care for a cool, refreshing Aquafina?

Honcho: I have been waiting behind those boxes for a while, why not?

~~~ Chad passes the bottles around. All four of them take long drinks, holding the bottles just right so the labels are facing the camera. Then, simultaneously, they all go 'Ahhh' and wipe their mouths with the back of their hands and smile for the camera.

Suddenly, Chad, Zane and Bridgette pour their bottles over Honcho's head. ~~~

Zane: Now We're feuding

~~~ Texpress leaves with a laugh, while Honcho sputters and wipes the water from his face ~~~

Honcho: I'm going to KILL Alan!