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Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2012 18:32:18 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Seattle, Washington
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Ricky Soaring Eagle vs. Rabbit Mask vs. Comrade Sharkoff vs. Crowing
Chris Evans & Ghosthead vs. kz
Phoenix Rising & Alexis Darling vs. Texpress & Danny Taylor
Flyin Hawaiians & El Lobo Sangriento vs. Stan Fulton, Mai Muyo & Matt Folz
Stank, Attitude Adjuster & Banned From Everywhere vs. Power & Glory & Mystery Team
card subject to shotgun blast to the face
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2012 18:32:49 GMT -5
Moosehead Jack is SITTING~! in GMtheSelena's office, when she comes in after the match.
GMtS: Oh...hi Uncle Moose. Long time no chat.
MHJ: I want a match.
GMtS: Okay, all business then. *she sits down at her desk and props her feet up* You have a match.
MHJ: No. Not this. You know what match I want.
GMtS: Uh huh. No can do.
MHJ: Why not?
GMtS: Well, in the first place, this card has already been posted and figured out, with publicity and--
MHJ: Uh huh...."Card subject to change."
GMtS: And in the second place, Firewoman has a no-match clause written into her contract. I do that, I violate her contract, she's on the first plane to Orlando or Stamford, and then I have some 'splainin' to do with the board. No.
MHJ: Fine...make it against Ket...or --
GMtS: *flipping through some files* Ah, here it is....no matches with Moosehead Jack, John Quinn, Jack Quinn, Ket, Ketsueki Seishin, kz, Nhoj Strebor--
MHJ: That jobber? That's not me....
GMtS: Or any other variation of character or stage name you can come up with.
MHJ: ....
GMtS: ....
MHJ: What about--
GMtS: No Awesome Bill from Dawsonville.
MHJ: Damn....
GMtS: Sorry...but unless Fire changes her mind, which I don't see happening anytime in the near future, no dice.
Moosehead Jack sits in the chair, fuming. He stands up and throws the chair backwards. Selena yells at him, but then suddenly Moose starts laughing, kind of insanely.
MHJ: I know how to get her in the ring......just you wait.
Moose stalks out. Selena shakes her head and picks up the phone.
GMtS: Omie.....
FAAAAAADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2012 18:33:11 GMT -5
<Moose storms out of GM Selena's office and is immediately accosted by SFJ13 who sticks a mic in his face>
SFJ13: Thoughts?
<Moose glares at her and looks like he is about to kill her, when he stops, cocks his head - is he listening? - then calms down and speaks>
MHJ: Ahh, our resident Diva. Of COURSE she has a clause in her contract saying she won't fight me. She is a fucking coward. She really has become a Darling. Lisa......that's fine. Not only are you a coward, you are a hypocrite. In one breath you say I am washed up and over the hill, but then, you refuse to fight me. That doesn't say a whole hell of a lot for you now does it?
<Moose stops for a second and starts to leave, then turns back to SFJ13>
MHJ: You know, maybe it's for the best anyway. Maybe you should just stick to tag team matches. Let Alex carry you, ride his coattails some more.
<Moose looks at SFJ13>
MHJ: Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go talk to LD, a real team will be appearing on Mayhem next week and Ghost and Evans will never be the same again
And that is the truth
trust me
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2012 18:33:34 GMT -5
(The scene is Power and Glory's dressing room. Wyatt and the twins walk in laughing and smiling, while Mary Lou just stands there, arms crossed.)
Wyatt: Did you see the look on Bill's face when we dumped that likker over her head? That was...honey, what's wrong?
Mary Lou: That was just mean.
Wyatt: What? We sent a message, did't we?
Mary Lou: But Ellie May?
Edra: She hangs out with Justin and Bill!
Clio: Yeah, she should know better.
Edra: She's really pretty, though.
Clio: Yeah, especially after Daddy's....Makeover!
(Wyatt and the twins laugh. Mary Lou is still stoic)
Mary Lou: You know what you just did, don't you?
Wyatt: What, sweetheart?
Mary Lou: Oh nothing. You just painted a big red bullseye on my back.
(Wyatt and the twins contemplate this for a moment, then takes Mary Lou in his arms.)
Wyatt: I don't think anyone would dare do that.
Mary Lou: And why not?
Wyatt: I can think of three reasons....
Edra: Power,
Clio: Glory,
Wyatt: And vengeance...a dish best served steaming, by the Neal Twins....
Edra: Anyone touches you, Mary Lou, won't be touching anything else for a while...
Clio: Trust me.
(Wyatt kisses Mary Lou and the twins smile a very evil smile as we....)
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2012 18:34:00 GMT -5
<BFE are sitting in the back, Bill is sitting in the corner rocking back and forth, a blank stare on his face>
JS: Bill……Bill……..BILL!
<Bill slowly looks up at Justin>
JS: You ok?
ABFD: Did you see what they done?
JS: Yeah it was pretty awful what they did to Ellie May…..
ABFD: Ellie who now?
EMFE: ME you idiot! They put me in a BURLAP BAG!
ABFD: Oh, well, uh, yeah, they did do that, but burlap is kinda sexy and all……
<Ellie and Justin just stare at Bill>
ABFD: THEY DONE WASTIFIED PINE CONE PARTY LIKKER! I CLOSIFY MY EYES AND I SEE THAT SWEET SWEET NECTAR OF THE GODS BEIN WASTED! POURED ON THE MAT LIKE FANCY FRENCH DRINK! OOOOHHHHHHHHH THE HUGE MANITEE!
EMFE: Your concern for me is touching
ABFD: Aww don’t be like that. Look at it this way, you done got somethin to put your taters in
JS: I……..I am not even going to say a thing
ABFD: We gotta make this right. Ellie May, fetch us our proper mourning wear, we is gonna give that luscious PCPL a proper send off…..
<Ellie shakes her head and walks out of the room, and we fade>
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2012 18:34:36 GMT -5
Typical Thursday in the Darling Luxury Suites. Lucky and Quorras are packing stuff to get ready to move to the next town. Alex and Fire have gone running (one a bit more reluctantly than the other), and they are reviewing various things. They are supposed to be reviewing their match last night, but Alex is having trouble focusing.
AD: Hehehe...look at the name of this forum on this website?
FW: *looking away for a moment from tape of their match* Huh?
AD: "Having a Threesome with Two Workrate Darlings." Nice, eh?
FW: Hehehe...cute....
Fire goes back to video viewing. Alex clicks around the Internet and falls upon Dolph Ziggler's scathing promo on Chris Jericho. He picks it up mid-promo, cos I don't feel like transcribing the whole damn thing. Alexander tries to stifle some laughter, but he's not doing a very good job of it.
*Firewoman looks up and then glares at Alex, who tries to put on a serious face. And again, mostly fails.*
AD: Ouch.
FW: Good. Now can we get to work please? There's a problem.
AD: With what?
FW: With us.
AD: What? Hey, no...look, that was a good promo, right there, you can't deny that. And yeah, if I get a little smile over your ex getting--
FW: What? No, not that us. Tag team us. Watch...
AD: Okay, then I get Stank in the Cattle Mutilation. You cut out the best part!
FW: No, let me rewind.
AD: So?
FW: So you can't keep doing that.
AD: Doing what?
FW: Stopping what you're doing to go check on me. I'm fine. I'm always fine.
AD: Uh huh, except when you're not.
FW: Okay, and me being fine or not fine shouldn't matter. If you hadn't stopped, you could have maybe put one of them away, but by delaying you gave LD the opportunity to tag Stank in to get the jump on you, and you could have had the hold locked in sooner and--
AD: Well, first of all, it doesn't matter because I wasn't the legal man anyway, until I put you back in the ring and tagged you, so I couldn't legally do anything until that point--
FW: I was getting up, you could have stayed in your corner, and then made LD go...Look, forget the details. During the match we aren't husband and wife, we're partners. You used to do the same thing with Alexis, too. That's why your tag team never went anywhere--
AD: *standing up* HEY! First, that's not even close to true--
FW: *also standing up* --because you couldn't keep the ring separate from being siblings. And next week you'll have both of us in the ring with you. If you can't keep you head on the match and stop playing family protector, we'll lose.
AD: ....
FW: ....
L: Hey, uh...guys...can we continue this on the plane? We're ready.
FW: Huh? What plane? What about my bike?
L: We don't have time to take your bike to Seattle from Anaheim, there's a Covenant House fundraiser that night that Stephanie has organized and yes, you will need a tuxedo and a formal gown and yes, it's already been arranged to be picked up up there, so if we can get to the-
FW: I can't just leave my bike here.
L: It's already on it's way safely to your house in New Orleans.
FW: My...what?
AD: The house you bought? Remember?
FW: Oh! Did that go through?
L: You signed paper work for like hours.
FW: Oooooh, yeah......Wow. I have...a HOUSE.
L: It needs decorating, I put together a list of--
FW: Nope. Doing it myself.
L: Um...when?
FW: When....Just....get the stuff to the car, Lucky.
L: Everything's ready. Snakes, penguins, stuff....just waiting for people.
Lucky leaves. Fire turns to Alex, smiling.
FW: We have a house.
AD: I know.
FW: You know what else?
AD: *stepping in close because he expects this conversation will go a certain direction.* No. What?
FW: If we lose next week because you're busy checking on me or Alexis, you'll be sleeping on our porch.
Fire smacks his cheek playfully, and follows Lucky out the door.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2012 18:35:03 GMT -5
*fade-in to Chris Evans*
Evans: You know, I may not be the kind of guy that says this a lot, and I know that you're not the kind of guy that people say this a lot to, but I like you, Ghosthead. I really like how you go about your business. Hell, before everything in the New Guard went completely to shit, I was really hoping to offer you a spot in the group. Fulton had gotten soft and was dragging us down, so I was already planning on cutting him loose and offering you his place in return. And now he's trying to find God. Well good luck trying to find something that doesn't exist, big guy.
And speaking of those who are treated as gods, this leads me to one of my opponents this week, LD Williams. Well let me remind you of some other so-called greats. Davin Moreland, the supposed greatest of all time is sitting in Massachusetts, wishing he could still wrestle. Because of me. Outback Jack came back for one match, then disappeared again, because of me. I make the OOWF go round. Not the Darlings, not the Quinns, not LD Williams, ME!
I was the fucking star of the Brass Knuckle Kings, I was the star of the New Guard. I am the future of the OOWF. I am the main event , I am the here and now. I am the Headliner, Chris Evans.
LD Williams, you're good, no doubt about it, you're the old veteran, the rock of the OOWF. Well there is no rock that can't be worn down. I am eternal, I am water, and I will chip away and chip away, I will never stop. At the end of the month, you will crumble, and that title WILL be mine. But until then, Ghost and I get to have a little fun with you and Moosey next week.
Trust Me.
*fade to black*
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2012 18:35:30 GMT -5
(The entire family is in the media room of the American Sunrise Radio complex. Wyatt is catching up on the latest news flipping back and forth between CNN and Fox News, Mary Lou is scanning the wedding show block on WE-TV, Edra is catching up on the new Indie Music show on THE COOL TV, and Clio is watching OOWF-TV and catches Firewoman's latest promo...and starts laughing!)Wyatt: What's so funny, Clio? Clio: Look at what the Darlings are watching...RAW IS JERKICO! (Clio hits the rewind and shows the family the relevant part of the promo)Clio: Losing his touch? After the wedding to Fire fell apart he lost his touch...and his relevance. Edra: Think about that. Fire in the WWE with Jericho. Wyatt: Amazing, since their paths have really kind of paralleled. Mary Lou: What do you mean, dear? Wyatt: Think about it. Fire married Alexander Darling, then she died,. Jericho lost his relevance, went to Hollywood, and his career died. Clio: Well, at least Fire was resurrected. Jericho's career, not so much. Edra: And neither one's career will ever....EEEEEEEEVVVVER...be the same again! (everyone has a good laugh)Edra: So what about our match this week, daddy? Clio: Yeah, who we teaming with, huh? Wyatt: Still working on it. I've got Ali working on it. She'd come and team with us, but she's under the weather. Edra: Well, between the four of them, I'm only worried about one. Clio: Stank? Wyatt: Certainly not Alan. He lucked out. Edra: Yeah, if it hadn't been for Chris Evans, we'd be talking bout the shiny Attitude Adjuster. Clio: That would have been the most fun part of the match. Wyatt: I'm working on it. Hopefully I'll have someone locked in by tomorrow. Mary Lou: By the way, hadn't you girls better get things together for our road trip? Wyatt: Yeah, four weeks in Japan, four weeks in Canada. Make sure you pack carefully. Mary Lou: Needs first, wants last. Wyatt: And we can buy some stuff over there, so be smart. Edra: Yes Daddy... Clio: You know what this means...Imported CD's! (Clio goes to turn off the TV when Chris Evans' promo pops up.)Clio: Laaaame.... Edra: What? Clio: He's been here like, what, three years already? He's the FUTURE? WE'RE the future! Edra: We're faster, stronger, smarter... Clio: And muuuuuch sexier. Wyatt: Give Cubby-one-note McTootsalot a break, ladies. He may be stuck on that whole “Way of the Future” thing, but he doesn't really care who he kicks the crap out of. I'd just as soon he ignored us...for now... Edra: Yes, Daddy. Wyatt: Now do what Mary Lou says, go get packed. Clio: Yes, Daddy. Wyatt: What? Compton declares Bankruptcy?Mary Lou: Damned Awesome Bill.... (Everyone laughs as Wyatt kisses Mary Lou and the twins smile a very evil smile as they head off singing quietly....)( www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kFhx27OMdE ) Edra & Clio: Prick your finger on a spinning wheel But don't make a sound Drop of blood and now you're taken For all time With a kiss you will awaken And you'll be mine, you'll be mine, you'll be mine FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 19, 2012 18:35:57 GMT -5
Cut to Matt Folz watching Chris Evans's promo and shaking his head sadly.
MF: Chris, even though you didn't show much interest in shaking my hand after you beat me, I do regret not publically congratulating you on your victory. You wrestled one hell of a match and beat me absolutely clean, I have no excuses. Having said that, now allow me to comment on your latest promo..
You claim that Stan was dragging the New Guard down, that's simply not true. Stan was the one carrying us for months. No, Chris, what dragged down the New Guard was your ego and your paranoia. You started thinking we were your lackeys instead of your partners, and you turned on Stan and Mai for absolutely no reason.
As far as Moreland goes, yeah, you were there, you helped, but that was MY plan. I came up with it and I told you and the Hawaiians how to execute it, don't you fucking dare try and take credit for my greatest contribution to the wrestling world. OBJ? Again, you were there, you helped, but it was Stan who landed the biggest blows.
You claim to make the OOWF go round? Let me tell you something Chris. As much as I hate the Quinns and the Darlings and LD..... and seriously, go fuck yourself for making me defend them here.. They are grand slam winners, you're not. As much as I hate saying it, they're all future Hall of Famers, right now, you're not. Now, do you have the potential to get to that level? Of course, I've said that since day fucking one I've been in this company. But as of now, all you're really great at is shooting off your mouth and being unable to back it up.
You claim you were the star of the BKK? That's bullshit, in terms of importance it was Eric, Bryce and then you and I tied for a distant third. You say you were the star of the New Guard? We were ALL champions. You claim to be the future of this company? It's possible, it's very possible, if you can shut up and use that incredible talent instead of that huge mouth. I honestly hope you do win the title, I'd love to go all around the country tearing the house down challenging you for the most prestigous title in this industry. We could be this generation's Flair/Steamboat. But I have my doubts. Good luck old friend, you're going to need it.
Fade
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 20, 2012 11:02:33 GMT -5
Alexis Darling is in catering filling up a plate when Dashing Victor Deniro approaches her, a cup of coffee in hand. Alexis sees this and rears back to throw a punch. Vic instantly sets the cup down on a table.
Alexis: How long have you been working here Vic?
DVD: I know, I really should know better by now. Just wanted to say, it's good to see you back in the ring.
Alexis: It's good to be back.
DVD: And you get to team up with your family against the Texans this week.
Alexis: (smirking) As well as Danny.
DVD: Huh, so it is. Care to make this match a little more interesting?
Alexis: I'm listening.
DVD: I propose a wager. If Team Darling gets the victory, I will donate 10,000 of my personal cash to a charity of your choice.
Alexis: And if your team wins?
DVD: You go out for a night on the town with me. Dinner, a movie, Dancing, the works.
Alexis: (looking a little shocked) Seriously, why?
DVD: Let's face it, most of the Dames around here either are spoken for or play for the other team.
Alexis: What about the SFJ's?
DVD: And compete with Chad, no thanks. So what do you say, we have a deal?
Alexis smiles and extends her hand, and Vic takes it and they shake. Vic goes to move away, but Alexis does not release her grip.
Alexis: Get your chequebook ready Vic.
DVD: I hope you enjoy Italian, I know a great little place nearby.
Both have shit eating grins on their faces as they release the handshake. Vic tips his hat before collecting his coffee and walking away as Alexis just chuckles.
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 23, 2012 0:09:46 GMT -5
**SFJ#47 is standing with L.D. Williams.**
SFJ#47: “L.D., Wednesday night kz reunites to face Ghosthead and Chris Evans. Your thoughts?”
LDW: “It’s going to be a night to remember. On one side, Kinzen Zansatsu - Joyful Slaughter - the monsters unleashed once agian time. On the other, Ghosthead and Chris Evans - the Death Knell and the dead man.
Ghosthead, I have no issue with you, and I’d just as soon keep it that way. I see no reason we can’t enter and leave the ring as fellow warriors. Between the bells we do our utmost to end each other, and then we walk away.
As for your partner, however…
I petitioned Selena to deny you a title shot at the pay-per-view, Chris. Instead, I plan to wrestle former OOWF DDT Iron Person Heavy Metal Champion Half-a-Dead-Sparrow. Truth is, it’ll be easier to carry HaDS to a five star match than it would be to carry your sorry ass.
You hit me with a chair, Chris. Forget the stitches and the fact the ref was going to restart the match. You had a chance to prove to the world that you were a legitimate challenger - a serious threat to my Championship…and you hit me with a chair and ran away.
That’s…that’s pathetic.
If Selena grants you a title shot again, and I’m sure she will, because people like to see you get beat up, I sincerely hope you plan to bring more than that.
Then again, I guess doesn’t really matter does it - your next match is kz, and against us, not even the Death Knell will be enough to save you.”
<fade>
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 23, 2012 0:10:14 GMT -5
(The twins are working out with some jobbers in the workout room of the American Sunrise Radio complex when Wyatt enters the room. They finish of the jobber in the ring with a Double Elimination)Wyatt: Good work ladies, keep it up. Edra & Clio: Thank you, Daddy. Wyatt: Looks like this will be a fun week in Seattle. Edra: So did you get us good partners? Clio: Yeah, whod'ya get, huh? Wyatt: Well,all of Ali's people are tied up this week, but I was able to secure the services of a pair of tag team champions from another organization that'll scare Awesome Bill to death. Edra & Clio: Who? (Wyatt pulls the twins over and whispers in their ears. Their faces go from puzzlement to surprise to evil smiles.)Edra: Oh, that's good. Clio: He'll need those Depends. Wyatt: Yes he will. Now, get a shower and get dressed for dinner. Great room, 30 minutes. The folks at the theater have arranged a special showing of “The Dark Knight Rises” for us tonight. Edra & Clio: Anne Hathaway. Mmmmmmmm... Wyatt: No drooling, git! (Wyatt heads off to get Mary Lou and the twins smile a very evil smile as they head off singing quietly....)( www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kFhx27OMdE ) Edra & Clio: Prick your finger on a spinning wheel But don't make a sound Drop of blood and now you're taken For all time With a kiss you will awaken And you'll be mine, you'll be mine, you'll be mine [/i] FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 23, 2012 0:10:35 GMT -5
*fade-in to Chris Evans, who has finished watching the latest LD Williams promo*
So why did I do what I did, LD, why did I do that? Pretty simple, really. Its called sending a message. Yeah, I went our there and smashed your head in with a chair, because I can. And the reason why I ran is pretty obvious. I'm pretty damn good, but even I know better than to stick around while 3 other wrestlers are looking to kick my ass.
But just because I did that didn't mean that after I headed backstage, doesn't mean you couldn't have dragged your arthritic ass back into the ring and continued fighting like a champion is supposed to do. But you didn't do that, did you? If you really wanted to continue fighting like you claim you did, you could've told the ref you were fine to compete. But you didn't. And why? Because deep down, you know you don't have that drive anymore.
But since I'm such a great guy, I'll tell you what. Why don't you go to Selena and tell her what kind of match you want to take me on in? Ladder Match, 2 out of 3 Falls, *chuckle* Ensure on a Pole Match? Just name the stips. I'm still gonna kick your ass either way, and I don't wanna hear any of your bitching about it after I take your title.
*fade to black*
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 23, 2012 0:10:54 GMT -5
<we cut to Seattle, Washington and the outside of Crazy Habib’s Formal Wear. We see Bill wearing a Native American headdress (surely pissing Ricky Soaring Eagle off some more, if that is possible) and Justin Sane wearing Groucho glasses. Drunkey and Drunkette are there as well, Drunkey is wearing a flannel shirt that hasn’t been washed since 1993 and a dirty blonde wig, while Drunkette is wearing too much makeup and a long blonde wig that also hasn’t been washed since 1993>
JS: This is never going to work
ABFD: Sure it is! They’ll never know!
JS: We are banned from here
ABFD: How can we be banned from here? I ain’t never been to Seattle!
JS: We are BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE
ABFD: You’s real good at that son! Now remember, I am Excellent Joe the Navajo and you are Justin Telligent
JS: What about Drunkey and Drunkette?
ABFD: They is Kyle Corbin and Kelly Love, they is part of the band! It can’t fail! Let’s go
<They walk in and Crazy Habib immediately recognizes them>
CH: NO NO NO! YOU LEAVE NOW! YOU ARE BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE!
ABFD: <to Justin> How’d he do that?
JS: No, we aren’t them. We are…..uh……Excellent Joe the Navajo and Justin Telligent
CH: You are those OOWF guys!
ABFD: No, we is in a band…..this here is Kyle Corbin and Kelly Love, theys the backup singers, we, uh, we got us a real formal gig, we need to fancy them up!
CH: You are SURE you are not BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE!
ABFD: You really gotta show me how he does that!
JS: No sir! We are totally NOT them! Now, we were looking for something in a top hat and tie for Mr. Corbin…….
<fade>
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 23, 2012 0:11:17 GMT -5
<Moosehead Jack and LD Williams are sitting in the back drinking a beer>
LD: Look, I just need to know where your head is, given what is going on with Fire, and the whole Patrick thing…….
MHJ: Look, LD, the thing with Lisa? That is going to happen, but not Wednesday. And Patrick……well Patrick will always be there, but it is different now, He doesn’t run things anymore, we have an agreement…..
LD: You…….have an agreement with your dead brother?
MHJ: Yes. He is along for the ride, and so far he is enjoying the hell out of that. I call the shots now.
LD: And what does…….He…….think of your match this week?
MHJ: Patrick couldn’t be happier. He is a big fan of kz
<LD just stares at Moose for a minute>
LD: I can’t tell if you are messing with me, or serious
MHJ: Does it matter?
LD: Are you all insane?
MHJ: Again…….does it matter?
<Just then SFJ13 walks in and demands an interview, Moose and LD shrug and get to their feet, an old school OOWF banner falls behind them>
LD: This week, kz – joyful slaughter – reunites once again, and this week, our victims happen to be Chris Evans and Ghosthead. Boys, it’s nothing personal, well except for you Evans, but you are going to get hurt
MHJ: Ghost, I have said this before and I will say it again, there are people playing games with us, people in power that want us to feud, to tear one another to pieces. I ain’t playin their game. What happens in that ring, is what it is. I know what you can do, so does LD. I know you can bring it, and you can leave us bloody and bruised.
Now……as for you Chris Evans……you and I have managed to stay out of one another’s way for a long, long time in the OOWF. I sat back and watched as you desperately wanted The New Guard to be The Five, but it never happened. When we moved, people noticed. When you moved, people didn’t care. You may have delusions of grandeur, but this week, you are coming up against the best wrester in OOWF history in LD Williams, and the most sadistic son of a bitch to ever put on a pair of boots. Honesty? I don’t like your chances.
LD: Evans, its real simple. You can request whatever match you want. You can tell ME to request whatever match I want. You can say you are going to beat me, you can say you are better than me, you can say you are younger, hungrier, prettier or smarter than me. None of that matters in the least
Because dead men don’t win titles.
<Moose laughs maniacally and he and LD turn and walk away>
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 23, 2012 0:11:41 GMT -5
*OOWF Sit Down Interview Area*
We're going old-school and serious here as Quorra is sitting with one half of the OOWF Tag Team Champions Phoenix Rising, Alexander Darling. Alex is sitting with the OOWF World Tag Team Belt draped across his lap as he wears a DEA/Phoenix Rising t-shirt. Yes, Alexander Darling has turned into Tommy Dreamer.
Quorra: You've been pretty quiet.
Alexander: This is true.
Quorra: Why?
Alexander: That's tough to answer Q. See, I've realized something in my life and that's the negative of having goals.
Quorra: How can there be a negative with having goals?
Alexander: Because once you achieve those goals, what next? I started in this business for a number of reasons, but one of those was so that fans of this sport would hear the name Alexander Darling and they'd automatically know who that was. I believe I've achieved that goal. There are probably some small steps I can still take on that journey, but a year ago around this time I began a battle with Stank about my legacy. The outcome didn't matter because at the end of things, there was no doubt as to my place in the grand scheme of things...Alexander Darling could be mentioned in the same breath.
Quorra: But you've had other goals, correct?
Alexander: I have, and that last goal I had was to become an OOWF Grand Slam Champion. Achieved and I had the luxury of achieving that at the very same time as my friend, my partner, my wife Firewoman. We came into this business at basically the same time. We've traveled the same path for basically the entire time and we've gone to war with one another and at the end of all that...together we became tag team champions and grand slam champions. Another goal accomplished.
Quorra: With all that being said, you are still competing...
Alexander: Oh, I'm not retiring or quitting or anything like that, by any stretch of the imagination. It's just that achieving these goals has allowed me to sit back and take inventory of where I am, where my career is, and what's next. My wife has claimed to be in tune with spirits and gods and uses those for her benefit. Wyatt claims that Edra can see into the souls of people and read their intentions. Others have had their own connection to the so-called other side, but what I have is common sense and I see what's coming.
Quorra: And what's that?
Alexander: *pats the tag team title* Fire and I fought long and hard to win these. To climb another mountain and stand on top. A mountain that we have to fight every tag team in this company off of and we've done it now but that hasn't stopped people from trying to knock us off, but I know on an even playing field Fire and I can compete with everyone.
Quorra: Even playing field?
Alexander: Let's just say I see and know what people around here are willing to do to get what they want and I know that what they want doesn't include Phoenix Rising as tag team champs.
Quorra: So you're just going to accept that?
Alexander: Fuck no, but I also know not to fight a losing battle before the first shot is fired. Here's what I know, Phoenix Rising has proved that they belong to be in the discussion for best tag teams in this company and that's never going to change. Two-thirds of our opponents have already realized that lesson...Phoenix Rising has a W over the Texans. That's a fact and it's something to remember when we step into the ring this week. 98 wins, 99 wins...it doesn't intimidate me because I know we're on that level.
Quorra: Are you worried about any rust with your third partner this week, your twin sister Alexis? She's competed just once in the past 6 months or so and on the other side, Danny and the Texans, while not a full-time group have tagged together on occasion.
Alexander: The one thing I have never ever had to worry about was my sister, any of them for that matter, taking care of themselves. So while Alexis has had a long path of recovery to step back into the ring, I have total and complete faith in her abilities. And with regards to any teamwork issues, Power & Glory may be the flavor of the week when it comes to twins, but Alexis and I are the standard to hold yourself up to and while we may not be a totally family friendly product, what I can say about Alexis and Fire would even push those boundaries. So, no I have zero concern when it comes to whether or not the three of us won't be able to keep up with the Texans and Danny Taylor.
Quorra: Fair enough. We started this interview with you talking about why you've been relatively quiet and I have to say I'm not sure we got a real answer yet.
Alexander: Q, here's the bottom line. I came into this company talking as much as anyone and now I don't feel the need to do that. My name, my reputation...my legacy speaks for itself. If other people feel the need to speak 5, 6, even 7 times a week let them because they need to. I'm a OOWF Grand Slam Champion, I am Alexander Darling, I am one-half of Phoenix Rising, and the simple, undeniable fact is that this means I can do and say what I want when I want how I want and well, you just can't. Sparkle that.
*Fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 23, 2012 0:12:19 GMT -5
We are FOLLOWING~ GM Selena as she enters her office. She's clearly brought the camera crew with her as once in the office she spins around to face them in front of a backdrop promoting next Sundays pay-per-view, Bloodbath in Paradise 5.
GMSa-T: That's right OOWF fans, it's that time again! Now, I know that when I became GM I shook things up a lot, and I did that for you! Well, actually, I've done most things to amuse myself, but you've enjoyed them, right?
Selena waits for the pop.
GMSa-T: That being said, there are SOME things I just can't mess with. Usually they're because of a bunch of legal crap, but there's one thingie in particular not even I am gonna mess with. You guessed it. Or at least the smarks did. Since we'll be...
Selena holds her arms out.
GMSa-T: ...LIVE from Las Vegas, Nevada!
Selena holds for the cheap pop.
GMSa-T: ...at Bloodbath in Paradise 5, we will once again bring you... SPIN THE WHEEL!
Selena stops as the fans cheer "MAKE THE DEAL!" Chuckles, off camera, seems to be trying to get Selena's attention, to no avail.
GMSa-T: That's right OOWF fans! It's back! All the chaotic, demented, bloody, action packed matches you know and love will all be up for grabs for each and every match! And our wrestlers have no idea what match they'll be in, but they know it'll suck for them, but be awesome for ME! And You!
So we hope you'll be watching this Sunday. Gather your friends! Have a party! Moms, dads, let the kiddies stay up late. Now, I'm required by the law dudes...buzzkills...to inform you that Bloodbath in Paradise will feature Extreme Violence, Strong Language, Sexual Dialogue, and Full Frontal Nudity.
Fans cheer.
GMSa-T: I'm kidding on that last one. OR AM I?
Once again, Chuckles is calling for Selena.
GMSa-T: So, see you Wednesday for Midweek Mayhem...LIVE from Seattle!
Cheap pop.
GMSa-T: And then Sunday from Las Vegas...
Cheap pop.
GMSa-T: Smile for the Cameras. Byee!
The filming ends.
GMSa-T: DAMMIT CHUCKLES! WHAT?!
The Ninjacam pans over to Chuckles pointing at the wall in front of Selena's desk. There's writing on it in what appears to be blood, but more likely red spray paint. It says:
Hello
Hello
Remember Me?
I'm Everything
You Can't Control
GMSa-T: Huh... Security!
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 23, 2012 0:13:43 GMT -5
(Wyatt, Mary Lou, and the twins are seated in what appears to be a living room setting.)Wyatt: Our biggest week ever in the OOWF. Opwer and Glory face off in an 8 person tag match against Banned from Everywhere, Attitude Adjuster, and Stank. Mary Lou: We've pulled up the old files, dug through the medical reports, and know exactly what points of attack will serve the twins best. They're as prepared as they can be. Edra: Banned From Everywhere, we've proven our superiority over you. Make no mistake, Bill, Justin, you're good. We're better. Clio: Mr Mann, you're a Grand Slam Champion, an eight time tag team champion, and the longest reigning World and Intercontinental champions. Two time wrestler of the year. But, at the end of the day, you still bleed. You still feel pain. And that is what Power and Glory deliver. Edra: Mr Capps, it was just a month ago that you stepped into the ring with us in a six person tornado tag team match. You'll find out that as tough as we were then, that was a walk in the park compared to what you'll feel Wednesday Night. Clio: Then a week from tonight we are before our first hometown crowd in Las Vegas for Bloodbath in Paradise 5. We promise one thing for our opponents. Pain. And Full Frontal Nudity. Wyatt: No. Clio: No? Edra: NO! Clio: Even Firewoman? Mary Lou: NO! Wyatt: Enough, you two off for bed. We have wedding plans to finish... (Wyatt and Mary Lou stay on the couch as Edra and Clio skip off singing to themselves...)( www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kFhx27OMdE ) Edra & Clio: Prick your finger on a spinning wheel But don't make a sound Drop of blood and now you're taken For all time With a kiss you will awaken And you'll be mine, you'll be mine, you'll be mine FADE to commercial...(The scene reopens at the Darling Suites, where a large package has just arrived. There is a note attached. Lucky sees the note and checks the delivery out. The note reads:)Dear Alex and Alexis: First, to Alex, thank you for the casual mention in your recent promo. The ladies appreciate the mention. I'm sure, though, that you don't discount them as casually as you referred. The distraction that the ladies faced in their first encounter with you and your lovely wife is resolved, and in future encouters you will see Power and Glory in a different light. Remember, they're still raw rookies, and they are still learning. Second, to Alexis, thank you for our recent conversation. As you have no doubt learned, intimidation isn't very effective against our family. But since we respect you, we thought the enclosed would come in handy in preparation for your match this week. All The Best, Wyatt Cox (Lucky opens the box to find a case of WD-40 and Liquid Wrench penetrating oil. He shoves the box into a corner as we....)FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 23, 2012 0:14:15 GMT -5
<we cut to the back of the arena in Seattle where Awesome Bill From Dawsonville, Justin Sane, Ellie May from Elijay, Drunkey and Drunkette are gathered around a small coffin containing an empty bottle of Pine Cone Party Likker. Justin is wearing a tux, Bill is wearing his tuxedo t-shirt and matching “fancy hat”, Drunkey is wearing a top hat, monocle and bow tie, while Drunkette is wearing a bonnet and a mourning veil. Ellie May is still wearing the potato sack> EMFE: Why for I gotta keep on wearin this potater sack? ABFD: <between sobs> I done told you <sob> it brings out the colorfications in your eyes……and burlap is damn sexier n’hell <Ellie May rolls her eyes as Father Lou walks into the room, looks around, shakes his head, and walks up to the podium> FL: We are gathered here today to remember this…….jar of pine cone party likker……God works in mysterious ways…….we cannot understand his will…….just know that the life of this……..party likker…..shall not have gone in vain. Or something. Would anyone like to say a few words? <Between bawling his eyes out, Bill raises his hand and makes his way to the podium> FL: Naturally ABFD: Pine cone party likker had a good, happy and richly varied life, in the brief amount of time we got here this mornin, we can barely scratchify the surface. Pine cone party likker was born on July 18, 2012, It’s early years was spent coolin’ cause when that party likker comes out the still, that stuff is sumbitchin hotter than hell. He lived with his brothers, the other bottles of pine cone party likker, you can see them old boys over there, they’s for the afterparty….. <Bill motions to a case of mason jars sitting on a chair. The case of PCPL is wearing a tie> EMFE: They’s an afterparty? JS: They call it a wake EMFE: you gotta stay awake? JS: No….a wake EMFE: That’s what I done said! I’m tired! JS: No, it’s…….yes it’s a big party after the services ABFD: As a child, pine cone party likker enjoyed traveling from the still out behind the arena in Anaheim…….cause ol law dawg Selena says I can’t have me a still IN the building! Oh no! Something about noxious fumes or what not….. …..I remember it like it was just five days ago. I carried pine cone party likker from the still I hastily created in the back alley of the Anaheim arena right through them doors and into the arena. We walked to the ring, and I said “son, one day, tonight, you is going to be in this very ring.” I was so proud! <Bill breaks down a little, Father Lou rolls his eyes and tries to comfort him, but he doesn’t try too hard> ABFD: I will never forget where I was that night, I was thar in the ring, and the Power and the Hercules done dumped pine cone party likker on the mat….. EMFE: They dumped it ON me! JS: Shhh ABFD: As I saw that sweet, sweet party likker stain the canvas like so many bloody wounds, I looked to the heavens and I cried out “WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN? THAT RIGHT CHERE IS PREMIUM PINE CONE PARTY LIKKER! OH WHY LORD? WHY? TAKE ME INSTEAD! NOT THE SWEET, SWEET, NECTAR OF THE GODS! I HAVE NEVER WITNESSED SOMETHING SO HEINOUS IN MY LIFE!!!!! EMFE: THEY PUT ME IN A BURLAP BAG! JS: Shhhh <Bill breaks down completely, and Father Lou coughs and looks at his watch. Bill finally regains his composure and speaks again> ABFD: Before we say good by to a dear, dear friend, I just want to read something that pine cone party likker wrote before he met his untimely endin’ <Bill rummages through his pockets and pulls out a folded up piece of paper. He unfolds it, then stares at it in confusion> ABFD: Well, uh, it appears that they’s nothin’ written on the paper, because pine cone parry likker can’t write worth a damn! <Bill looks down at the casket one last time> ABFD: Goodbye old friend……maybe in another life, I will get to enjoy your sweet, sweet flavors, and enjoy the blackout what comes after it. < Freebird on banjo plays as they close the casket lid and Justin, Ellie May, Drunkey and Drunkette act as the pallbearers. They slowly leave the room and head out of the arena. Awesome Bill is beside himself with sorrow, but SFJ11 comes up to him anyway> SFJ11: Bill, I know this is a trying time for you, what with the loss of your beloved likker, but would you like to say something to the OOWF audience? ABFD: <sniff> yeah I <sniff> yeah I would. Hercules and Edracation……..and you White Cogs…….you ol boys done messed up! I promise y’all this! Banned From Everywhere will not restify until Pine Cone Party Likker has been AVENGED! We’s gonna take you ol boys out behind the woodshed! We’s gonna whup that ass! IT’S ON! IT’S ON LIKE LAZER TRON! That ol’ boy had that lazer pistol…..outdamn standener than hell! Anyway, IT’S ON! LAST BATTLE OF ATLANTA! THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN! GIMME BACK MY BULLETS!I’M TRAVELIN DOWN THE ROAD AND I’M FLIRTING WITH DISASTER SON! <Bill leaves the room hootin’ and a hollerin’ the whole way, he comes back in, still yelling song lyrics and grabs the case of pine cone party likker and leaves again, still yelling. SFJ11 just looks at the INC, and we fade to black> |
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 23, 2012 0:16:37 GMT -5
~~~ Zane Myers is sitting with an RNSFJ. On his own. Odd, I know. ~~~
Zane: Alex, Alex, Alex, don't sell yourself short. You two have beaten Chad and I not once, but twice. Of course, We've beaten you 3 times, but one of those was a clusterbomb, so I'll settle for 2-2 against Phoenix Rising heads up.
What does that mean? It means you and Firewoman are a remarkable team, and I'm looking forward to eventually getting around to facing you for those Championships.
I say eventually, because since we won that Number 1 Contenders match, Our GM has not seen fit to put us anywhere near a tag team match, much less a Championship Opportunity. Now, Chad and I enjoy the heck out of teaming with Danny, but without a Campeonas de Trios to chase, these matches are just distractions from his goal of regaining the Intercontinental Championship and our goal of winning Tag Team Championship Number 9.
Hmmm... Winning Championship number 9 with victory number 99. I like the sound of that. There's some symmetry there.
Now Alexis' return is big news, and I welcome another talented performer back into the fold. We might have parted ways years ago on less that positive terms, but I'd like to think that this bond.....
~~~ Zane stands, and removes his shirt to reveal his red & Silver #5 Run-DEA baseball jersey ~~~
..... will remain strong, and let us go out there and steal the show on Wednesday. So Alexander, Lisa, Alexis. Pack your hammers. Because Chad, Danny and I are intent on tearing the house down.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 24, 2012 17:00:05 GMT -5
"Our manager thinks her little animal farm idea is cute apparently, because this week, she fucking keeps it going yet again. We add the crow. Where is the Wolf in this match?
Apparently, I am thought of as some sort of joke. That, my firends, is a very very bad position to take. It's a position that leads to anguish, that leads to torment. I have taken a life and not flinched. Why would I now hesitate to become the ultimate hunter of the air, land and sea and take out all three of my opponents?
My name is not some sort of joke. My name is handed down to me not by family, but by my people. And unless you have felt MY pain, you will never understand the dishonor mocking it brings."
Ricky turns and finds Comrade Sharkoff walking past with his valet. He grabs Sharkoff's flag and pushes him headfirst into the wall. Ricky lifts the flagpole and swings it at the valet, smashing her shoulder and sending her to the floor and out of the way. Sharkoff gets press slammed into some storage lockers. Ricky takes the tire iron and brings it down on the back of Sharkoff's head time after time after time, until his entire head is as red as the flag he carried. Ricky rips the flag into pieces and breaks the pole over Sharkoff's back. As trainers and agents swarm the scene, Ricky walks cooly away.
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 24, 2012 17:00:24 GMT -5
(Wyatt Cox is in the American Sunrise radio studio coming back from their commercial break with a Kelley Hunt song. soundcloud.com/kelley-hunt/01-too-much-history)Too much history...yeah, someone with lots of history and memories for me, childhood friend Kelley Hunt. We renewed acquaintances and swapped stories that made the twins blush like you've never seen. Her album Gravity Loves You is available on our web page. Get it and support independent performers. Now, this will be our last broadcast here from home base for over two months. We go on the road to Seattle for two days, then to Ely for a quick show here, then to Las Vegas for the wedding on Saturday and Sunday's big pay-per-view, then a month in Japan and a month in Canada before going to Dayton Ohio for Hell On Earth 8 – how appropriately named, eh – on September 30th. Through much of that time the routine hosting duties will be handled by our friend Brian Boyle who has graciously agreed to sit in this seat, while we explore the world and bring you reports on what's going on overseas as well as here. Let's talk some more about the OOWF as we review this coming Midweek Mayhem Wednesday night, 8pm Eastern time. The Main event for the OOWF Intercontinental championship, a four way dance as the proud Native American Ricky Soaring Eagle faces off against Rabbit Mask, Comrade Sharkoff , and Crowing. Honestly, I believe that some of the people in OOWF management have it in for Soaring Eagle. Comrade Sharkoff is double tough, Rabbit Mask will rather drop you on your head as look at you, and Crowing, well, that man can turn out the violence when he wants. Ricky Soaring Eagle is not the kind of man to take the crap that many will, he has no desire to head back to the reservation to make beads and live off Government Food Stamps. He's a warrior, and I expect the warrior to overcome the odds and retain his title. In one of those it doesn't matter who wins, everone bleeds matches, LD Williams and Moosehead Jack reform Kinzen Zansatsu - Joyful Slaughter to face off against two other violent sadistic creatures, Chris Evans and Ghosthead. The maniac I commonly refer to as Cubby-one-note McTootsalot finally gets LD Williams in the ring, but not in a one-on-one. And given his attitude of smashing anyone he can with a steel chair just because he can, just because he doesn't get his title match, I wouldn't give him a match either. But he and Stank's little brother face off against LD Williams and Moosehead Jack. For once Stanley's probably stay at home lest he become pate, and Moose, who has been so kind to Power and Glory, will probably make this the sleeper match of the night. That's not to discount what has the potential to be a display of technical wizardry, as the Darlings get the band back together with Lisa, Alex, and Alexis Darling face off against Texpress and Danny Taylor. Provided the Darlings can keep their temper in check and Alexis gets all the ring rust scraped off, this could be a killer technical match. Then you have another killer six man, with the Flyin' Hawaiians, Kai, better known as THE KAI!, Aina, better known as Baby Daddy, and El Lobo Sangriento, the Bloody Wolf, taking on the Christian Soldiers, Crusher Stan Fulton and Mai Muyo, and their friend Matt Folz. Too many people have discounted the training that we do here, and Fulton, Muyo, and Folz had a great time here and learned a lot. I would love to see them tear it up against the Hawaiians and the Wolf. Ordinarily I would be puffing up my chest about the Twins match, but I really don't want to say a lot, lest I give away too much. But I will say that it's good that Awesome Bill and Justin got everyone funeral apparel, since after Wednesday night's match where Banned From Everywhere teams up with a strangely silent Attitude Adjuster and Stank to face Power and Glory and a couple of mystery partners...two men who will strike fear into the heart of Awesome Bill and just confuse Justin Sane. Not like that takes much. Gentlemen, and I use that term loosely when applied to Bill, Justin, and Alan, be prepared for three things Wednesday night. Power, Glory, and Pain. Five matches, rolling out live Wednesday night, 8pm Eastern time, then it's Bloodbath in Paradise Sunday night, 8pm, only on Pay PerView. In just a moment after a break for our favorite stations, the latest from Denver, and other news from around the nation, but first checking the weather, the oppressive heat continues in the midwest, with thunderstorm activity through the northern rockies, the Great Lakes, and the New England States. Your local forecast is straight ahead, 29 past the hour, here's Leonard Cohen with some appropriate music for this Monday, 23rd day of July...( www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6q7vCSmUU0 ) FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 24, 2012 17:01:02 GMT -5
AA - It's THEM. It's gotta be!
Stank - You DO realize the little wrinkle in that theory?
AA - What?
Stank - I'm going to give you a couple of seconds to think about it.
AA -
Stank -
AA -
Stank - oh for fuck's sake. Hawk?
AA - What about him?
Stank - ... ... He's dead?
AA - I know that!
Stank - Then- How the FUCK are the ROAD WARRIORS Power and Glory's mystery partners this week?
AA - HEIDENREICH!
Stank - ... ... well you got me there.
AA - I don't wanna get butt raped!
Stank - Per The Beast Clause, It states explicitly in the bylaws of the OOWF, NO RAPE!.
AA - Oh. Well then it can't be them.
Stank - I suppose if you believe Heidenreich's moveset consists of only butt raping...? then yeah... I suppose it can't be them, Alan.
AA - Well that's a load off my mind. Did you see Animal on Smackdown last week? He looked killer.
Stank - ... against Heath Fucking Slater?
AA - Hey DON'T get me started on the merits of the One Man Rock Band.
Stank - You're a fan, are ya?
AA - The boy has got heart! He took a Stinkface from Rikishi like a- wait... OH MY GOD! It's The-
Stank - It's NOT the HEADSHRINKERS, ALAN!
AA - WHY can't it be the HEADSHRINKERS? As far as I know, rape is not part of their repertoire!
Stank - dear god. Fuck. Why not The Wild Samoans while you're at it?
AA - Why NOT them?
Stank - They're damn near 70 years old?
AA - They're still SAMOAN!... Have you ever been headbutted by a Samoan, Lucas?
Stank - As a matter of fact I have... it hurts.
AA - You're damn right it hurts. I DON'T WANT TO GET HEADBUTTED BY A SAMOAN!
Stank - I think if it were The Wild Samoans, getting headbutted would be the least of our problems.
AA - Yeah... If we win then we risk the wrath of the ENTIRE nation of SAMOA!
Stank -
AA - Do you know what it's like to have an entire nation hate you, Lucas...? I do. You might remember a little incident in Canada that has Johnny and I in their Native American population's doghouse?
Stank - Actually it's just you.
AA - Come again?
Stank - Johnny made peace with them earlier this year.
AA - I think I would know about that, if indeed, that happened.
Stank - You didn't get the-? ...You didn't get the text.
AA - WHAT TEXT?
Stank - ... Never mind. It's not important. Just know Johnny and Canada are good.
AA - They wouldn't let Johnny and I in Canada eight months ago!
Stank - Alan, that was you and a cardboard cutout.
AA - DON'T TELL ME... oh wait... I forgot about the Canadians...
Stank - It's not the Rougeau Brothers, Alan.
AA - The Fabulous Rougeaus!
Stank - *sigh*
AA - It's gotta be!
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 24, 2012 17:01:45 GMT -5
Cut to Matt Folz and Jaime McAllister sitting and watching tape. Folz hearing a voice behind him.
"Can you believe we have to team with this loser on Wednesday Mai?"
MF(turning around with a smile): Being called a loser by a VIKINGS fan, that's ironic. It is damn nice to see you two though.
The camera cuts to, of course, Stan Fulton and Mai Muyo.
MM: Nice to be teaming with you one more time Matt.
SF: What she said.
MF (Laughing): Man of few words, I'm touched. How's it going trying to teach her football?
MM: Oh, Stan's teaching me all kinds of interesting things. Hard to believe that anyone can be a fan of the Packers though, I mean with all the things he's taught me about them.
MF: Oh, this ought to be good. For instance?
MM: Vince Lombardi was an official member of the Communist Party, Reggie White was a devil worshipper, and Mike Holmgren and Brett Favre were associates of Jerry Sandusky.
MF (Shaking his head with a smile): Cute Stan, really cute.
MM: What?
MF: All of those things he told you are lies Mai, he was having some fun with you.............. actually, has someone looked into that last one, that sounds believable, can we verify that's not true?
MM: Wait, Stan, you made all that stuff up?
SF: I'll explain later. How was your birthday Matt?
MF: Not bad, made an entire weekend out of it. Saturday I spent the entire day with 2 friends. Some shopping, lunch, went to Savages.... which sucked by the way... and then Dark Knight Rises in MOTHERFUCKING IMAX! Seriously, if there's an Imax theater anywhere close to here, I've gotta take you to it, was awesome. Then yesterday on my actual birthday, didn't do much, just dinner with Jaime and my family, and then Jaime and I had a private celebration. (Matt and Jaime share a big smile at that)
MM: Awww, didn't know it was your birthday yesterday. Happy Belated Birthday.
MF: Thank you
MM: We should throw you a party.
MF: I'll keep that in mind next year, if I decide to have one, you'll be my first call.
MM: No, no, I mean tonight.
MF: What?
MM: Tonight, here, we can invite the entire company, for one fun, violence free night off.
MF: Let me get this straight, you want to throw a birthday party for me, the day after my birthday. And invite the entire company, literally all of whom I despise with the exception of Wyatt, Edra, Cilo and the people in this room? This is your plan?
MM: Yeah?
MF: You're aware how stupid that sounds?
MM (almost near tears): Sorry. Forget I said anything.
MF (Sighing): Mai?
MM: Yes?
MF: Throw the party.
MM: Really?
SF: Seriously?
MF: Yeah, sure, it'll be....... I don't know, fun? I guess? Besides, people can use this as a jumping off point to promo instead of being bored watching a 3 hour Raw tonight.
Folz ducks a right hook from Kayfabe as Mai starts skipping around and looking for stuff for the party. We time shift to the 4 standing around now just as the party starts.
MF: Great job setting this all up Mai, thank you.
MM: You're welcome.
MF: I'd officially like to welcome the entire OOWF roster to join us here tonight, eat and drink as much as you want, no one will hurt you. On Wednesday however.... Kai and Aina, I'm sure you want revenge on us for what we did to you. I don't blame you, that's human nature, but I want you to remember this: You have the edge in terms of experience as a team, but we were better wrestlers than you before we were all together in the New Guard, we were better wrestlers than you while we were in the New Guard, and we're STILL better than you. And as for your partner..... uh.....wait, who are they teaming with?
SF: Lobo.
MF: Seriously?
SF: Yeah
MF: Didn't that guy get future endeavored like 3 months ago?
SF: I guess not.
MF: Well I'll be damned... what the hell do I say about him?
SF: Not sure.
MF: Um, Lobo, we're going to hit you so hard that we'll hit you hard.
SF: That's it?
MF: More effort than he's put into promoing this match.
Fade
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Post by BookerShark on Jul 24, 2012 17:02:14 GMT -5
*Stan and Mai head out to make some party plans, leaving Folz to consider writing an actual promo. Nearly unseen, a large dark figure slips into the room. He taps Folz on the shoulder and he turns around.*
MF: What is it, St...Oh...It's YOU! You pussy! Show yourself! At least have the decency to face me before I kill you.
*With the camera to Ski Mask Guy's back, Ski Mask Guy removes his Ski Mask. Matt Folz stands there...wide-eyed.*
MF: Son of a...no...it's not...possible...
*As Folz is trying to work through it all in his head, a shiny metal pole comes raining down upon it. Folz spins but isn't dropped. He delivers a sharp blow to SMG's face. Enraged, SMG whips Folz against the wall. Taking a moment to put his mask back on, he goes back to attack Folz. Folz reaches a lamp which has fallen, and swings it at SMG's leg. SMG leaps, avoiding it, and crashes down with the pipe one final time, finally rendering him unconscious. He kneels over Folz' prone body, and uses his blood to paint the number "8" on his forehead. He drops the pipe next to Folz, making a distinct "CLANG" noise in the process. SMG is about to leave as always, but this time turns to the INC*
SMG: Chris Evans. The Lionheart. The Big Fucking Deal. Go take a look at my footage here, douchebag. Go look and see what I did to everyone who you once called "friend". You know who ended the New Guard? Be honest with yourself, Chris. I did. I ended it. I've ended everyone who has ever meant anything to you or your career. And why, Chris?
SMG: Because I'm coming for you next, Chris. I'm this close to being done. You don't have the balls to come find me...so I'll probably come to you. I won't tell you when, of course...you have to be prepared...but know this...I am coming.
SMG: Soon, Chris. Soon.
*fade*
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