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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 13:12:50 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Mt. Gay, West Virginia
Dance of Death IV Preview[/u] Stank, Capellan, Davin Moreland & Chris Cole vs. LD Williams, Canadian Dragon, Eric O'Mac & Alexander Darling
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u] Donovan Viper vs. Outback Jack
Best Of Seven Series Match 4: 2/3 Falls (DH & Spin lead 2-1)[/u] Phantos & Lucios vs. DH Magnusson & Spin Hansen
Team RabbxtFire vs. The Nerve Agent & Blitz Dead Drunk vs. Apocalyptic Bastards Moosehead Jack vs. Knife Firechild vs. Ryan Hardcore F. Fonzworth MacCappington & The Defenestrators vs. Carl From Fresno, Puck Dupp & Fumunda Mung
Card subject to altered states
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 13:13:35 GMT -5
(Lucios walks into General Manager the Rick’s office and sits down in front of his desk.)
GMtR: Didn’t I tell you to stop coming in here? You got your ‘Best of 7 series.’ You got your favorite match.
Lucios: There’s something else.
GMtR: No
Lucios: I want you to…
GMtR: (cutting him off) No.
Lucios: Shut up and listen to me. I want you to re-hire Alan Capps and Johnny Adrenaline
GMtR: What? You of all people should be glad they are gone.
Lucios: Unfinished business. Before they lost the Tag Team Championships to Alt and Harris, I laid out a challenge to them. It never got answered, It never got fulfilled.
GMtR: I don’t remember a challenge.
Lucios: There was. September. Before Hell on Earth III
And a week later, after Capps and Adrenaline Failed to beat us in their own match
GMtR: So what do you want?
Lucios: They’re mocking the OOWF. They’re mocking YOU. They parade around with the original championships belts. Phantos and I will be done with Hansen & Magnusson after Dance of Death. After that, we will have no problem taking the Tag Team Championships from The Defenstrators. Once that is done, I want those yellow-bellied cowards in a 2 out of 3 falls Wrestling match. Make. It. Happen.
(Lucios abruptly gets up and leaves)
GMtR: Why did I ever listen to Dave Meltzer and hire those two?
(fade to black)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 13:15:10 GMT -5
Rabbxt: Damn it!
Fire: For the last time, Ev...
Rabbxt: No! Ok? No. I don't want to hear it again. That damn referee screwed us over. If he would have given that match three more seconds, Team RabbxtFire would have won it.
Fire: Look, I have no doubt that we would have won it. But rules are rules, you know?
**John Cena runs into the room like a wild gorilla.**
Cena: RUCK FULES~!
Rabbxt: Ok, man. You're a fool. So fuck you.
**John Cena salutes Rabbxt and leaves.**
Rabbxt: These damn WWE guys are running rampant. Hm...
Fire: The match...
Rabbxt: Oh, right! We had Voltage right there. If we could have gotten him there sooner...
Fire: Just don't even worry about it, man. Just concentrate on our match next week. We've got Nerve and Blitz.
Rabbxt: Again?
Fire: Well, we are feuding with them.
Rabbxt: But, I mean, come on...
Fire: I know, I know. It's getting a little repetitive. Just deal with it and ride it out. They're not much of a threat, as far as I'm concerned.
Rabbxt: I agree with you, there.
Fire: Oh, and, by the way, nice move in that match. Never seen that one from you before.
Rabbxt: Which move, Fire? Every move I did out there was ill as shit.
Fire: Spitting that green stuff at Voltage.
Rabbxt: Oh, yea! The Mountain Dew Mist. It does two different things, actually. Well, two negative things, one positive thing. It temporarily blinds the guy, and makes his face all sticky and gross. The positive thing, however, is that the Mountain Dew gets into his mouth.
Fire: Ew, from yours to his? How is that positive?
Rabbxt: Any way you can get it, Fire, you should go for it.
Fire: Have you ever seen Jackass: Number Two?
Rabbxt: Loved it.
Fire: I figured. And you remember the butt chug?
Rabbxt: I know where you're going with this, Fire. And yes. If the only way to get Mountain Dew is to chug it up your ass through a tube, it's well worth it.
Fire: What!? I was just going to say that the butt chug grossed me out! What the hell is wrong with you!?
Rabbxt: Um, uh...
Fire: Oh, God! Just forget I even said anything, and I'll forget about that.
Rabbxt: Fine by me. So, Alex still hate me?
Fire: Well...
Rabbxt: Fire...
Fire: He does.
**Rabbxt sighs, then does a cheat gainer to cheer himself up.**
Fire: That doesn't help things!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 13:15:36 GMT -5
[Backstage The Nerves Agent and Blitz are talking to each other.]
TNA: You have got to be fucking kidding me! Two weeks in a row we got beat by Firechild and F. Fonzworth MacCappington, and again it was cheating. We totally had them beat, both with the spineline and Blitz Flip and the Corkscrew Senton. The Dead and Seamus fucked us over!
Blitz: Ha, dude that sounded so gay.
TNA: Are you serious?! We were cheated out of a win again because of this gay ass feud. I'm tired of it. We can never win with all of these interferences. Fuck it. We need to end this feud soon, I can't stand losing matches that we should win. This just shows that we could beat these guys. The guys you said we need to take seriously. We could've had them, we lost and you're laughing because I said they "fucked us over"? You need to get more serious.
Blitz: I just thought it-
TNA: I don't care. From now on, fuck Guitar Hero, fuck the Wii, fuck Call of Duty 4. We are actually training from now on. Everyday until you start taking this seriously.
Blitz: Who the hell made you boss of this team?
TNA: Fine, do what you want, if you need me I'll be training.
Blitz [as The Nerves Agent storms off]: Whatever dude.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 13:15:57 GMT -5
A Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist; camera man in tow, opens the door to the Run DLP Aquafina Locker Room. She approaches Lucios, who is finishing off a Pepperoni Pizza from Papa Gino’s.
RNSFJ: Lucios, after taking a 1-0 lead, you and Phantos find yourselves down 2-1 to DH Magnusson and Spin Hansen. Any change in strategy after two straight defeats?
Lucios: Strategy? There was no strategy lest week. Cage Matches may be commonplace, but they are still not wrestling matches. There’s no strategy involved when running away wins a match.
RNSFJ: So the result will be different this week?
Lucios: You might be pretty, but you aren’t that bright. Of course it will. This week is a Best 2 of 3 Falls Match. Hansen, Magnusson, just in case you weren’t aware, This is OUR Match The Defenstrators have their Window Washing Match, Moose has his Taiwanese Dance of Death, The Yellow-Bellied Coward Heels have their Stuff on a Pole Matches, We win Best 2 of 3 Matches. This comes back to wrestling. Just like was saw in Match One, when it comes to a wrestling match, you two just can’t measure up.
RNSFJ: You have yet to receive an answer to your ‘upping the ante.’ Are you surprised?
Lucios: I shouldn’t be, but I am. For a couple of guys who talk real tough, they sure have been quiet since I made that proposition. I don’t want to say they are scared of losing, but their silence speaks volumes.
RNSFJ: Where is your partner right now?
Lucios: He and Davin are off having a flippy-guy workout. I’m sure he’ll be sorry he missed you. You can leave him your number if you’d like
RNSFJ: No thanks!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:05:16 GMT -5
In the hallways leading up to The DEA luxury suite after this week's Midweek Mayhem we see Alexander leading the entourage with a towel drenched in blood covering his face. Behind him are The E, Alexis, and Jamie Lynn. Alexander takes anything that gets in his way and tosses it to the side. He stops outside GMtR's office, but decides to move on past it.
Alexander Darling: Now's not the time Rick, but I will be coming to see you soon. You can bank on it.
Alexis hurries to catch up to her brother as The E breaks off and heads to the medical room to get someone to look at his bumps and bruises from the match. Jamie Lynn is still silently walking behind the group, but she has a huge smile on her face as she looks at the card Phantos gave her.
Alexis Darling: Slow down brother. What is going on in that head of yours?
Alexander: What's going through my head is that I'm sick and tired of having no contest after no contest in this fucking federation. Just have the fucking refs out there to count the pin.
Behind the Darling twins they hear a little snicker and both turn to see Jamie Lynn trying to hold back a laugh. Before Alexander can even say anything, Alexis gets right in her face and backs her up against a wall.
Alexis: Do you have something to say trailer trash? Is there something amusing that happened out there?
Jamie Lynn: Well, there was the point when Phan...ummm, I mean when I took Firewoman out for Mr. Darling before she could attack him. That was good, right?
Alexis just shakes her head in disbelief and takes a step back. Jamie Lynn thinks she did the right thing and starts smiling again when Alexander starts speaking.
Alexander: Wow, you truly are as stupid as your sister. I don't have the time or energy to fucking deal with you anymore. You're fucking fired Spears. Now get out of my site before I punch you in the stomach.
Jamie Lynn: But Mr. Darling, I don't wanna go back to the trailer. Brittney's nutso and I don't wanna be like her.
Alexis: Too little, too late whore. Now get out of here before we do something you'll regret.
Jamie Lynn doesn't move for a second, but starts moving rather quickly as Alexis starts walking back towards her. She runs off as fast as she can into the hallways of OOWF. Alexis turns back to her brother.
Alexis: This is why I told you not to hire jailbait. They know nothing and don't understand their role.
Alexander: Fine, whatever. But I'm not dealing with these random mic stands here. So bring someone in who can handle it. You don't think this ruined things with Firewoman, do ya? It really seemed like we had the workings of a solid deal last night.
Alexis: I hope not, but we won't know until she says something. She's probably busy dealing with Bun...I mean Rabbxt. Are you going to be okay working with him if that's necessary?
Alexander: I just don't know Lexy. He and I are going to have to have a sit-down real soon I bet. But if he crosses me, so help me...he'll understand exactly what BOOYAH, Bitch really means.
The two continue into The DEA Luxury Suite as the camera fades out.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:06:02 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland, finished with his workout, enters the Run DLP Locker Room, Presented by Aquafina Foyer where he checks the inter-office mail, and finds Next Week's Lineup for Mayhem...It reads:*
DM: Aw crap.
Phantos: *running in from the other room* What is it, D?
DM: *shows him the Lineup* There ya go.
P: Fun match.
DM: Yeah, you're not kidding. I haven't talked to Stank since I won the belt, and I don't remember EVER having a conversation with Capellan...
P: And Chris Cole...
DM: Yeah...Chris Cole. Hey, since when is Stank a face?
P: Since Capslock turned heel and changed his name?
DM: Yeah. That'll work I guess. Regardless; this is gonna be...Interesting.
P: Fo Sho.
DM: "Fo Sho"?
P: Yeah...
DM: *sighs* All right. See if you can find Luc and tell him I need tape on Stank and Capellan.
P: And Cole?
DM: Yeah, no. Seen enough of Cole. Just Stank and Capellan. And LD Williams and Dragon too, while he's at it.
P: He's gonna be so happy you wanna watch tape.
DM: Yeah. I know.
*Phantos hurries out of the room*
*The Run DLP Locker Room Intercom, Presented by Motorola buzzes.*
DM: Who is it?
??: *inaudable*
DM: Hmm...
*Davin moves toward the Sony Multimedia Center when Phantos gets a text message on his Sprint PCS phone*
P: Davin! You JERL!
*Phantos runs out of the room*
DM: *blankly stares over at Lucios, who is watching yet MORE tape on Magnusson and Mansen* What the fuck was that?
L: *shrugs without looking over*
*Phantos comes back in, joined by an obviously upset Jamie Lynn Spears*
P: WHY DIDN'T YOU GET THE DOOR?
DM: I answered the intercom, jackass.
JLS: Oh...I was supposed to talk back?
DM: Yeah. You push the button and talk back.
JLS: Oh.
P: So, what's up?
JLS: *tearfully* The Darlings fired me!
P: Oh...Why?
JLS: I dunno *sniff* They're such jerls.
P: Well, I'm glad you're not with them anymore.
JLS: But NOW I have to go BACK TO THE TRAILER! *starts to full on cry*
DM: Aw crap. Luc, I need a beer. You want one?
L: *seriously considers it for a second, noting the scene around him* No, thanks.
*Davin leaves; Lucios turns up the volume.*
P: *puts his arm around Jamie Lynn* You don't have to go, Jamie Lynn.
JLS: Yes I do..*sniff* I don't have a job; I don't have anywhere to go...
P: You can stay here.
JLS: Really?
*Phantos nods. Lucios is oblivious*
JLS: *throws her arms around Phantos* Oh Thank you..THANK You. *She gives Phantos a big sloppy kiss*
P: *pulls back after a second* Helllloooooooo NURSE!
L: Will you two take it outside?
*Phantos takes Jamie Lynn by the hand to the Run DLP Locker Room, presented by Aquafina Executive Suite Living Quarters, presented by Starwood Hotels*
*Davin comes back*
DM: So, did P-Dawg tell ya about the tape I need?
L: Yeah. Just give me another minute on this. I think I found something here.
DM: Ok. Hey Lucios, you know anything about Capellan?
L: *without looking* Nah, not much. I know he's a great competitor. He's been in the World Title picture for some time. Got a pin on Stank last week.
DM: Yeah, that's right. Hey, that LD and Canadian Dragon stuff...Does that have WeaponX stuff in there too?
*Lucious nods without looking*
DM: And I know what kind of guy Stank is.
L: Didn't you guys wrestle once?
DM: Yeah. That was a fun match. We had to wrestle under the old Onslaught Rules.
L: The good old days.
DM: Whatever. So anyway, we both deck Glaw and just have this killer slobberknocker out into the crowd. Good worker...Really solid stuff.
L: Then he Stank-U'd you on the ramp.
DM: Details. It went down as a No-Contest.
L: Like every other match around here.
DM: Except yours.
L: Not Funny.
DM: *swigs his beer* You done here yet?
L: Yeah, I guess so. I'm gonna try to take a nap.
DM: All right man; Hey, lemme know when you wake up, we can take the Yum! Foods jet to Harrisonburg, VA. There's a cool Pizza place there, Mr. Gotti's. P-Dawg will love it.
L: Long flight?
DM: Nah man, I'd be surprised if it took 20 minutes, we're not far away.
L: Why don't we take the Dunkin' Donuts Limousine?
DM: Yeah, that might not be a bad idea. Won't be more than an hour's drive.
L: Yeah, that might be better. This could be another team-building outing.
DM: HA! Yeah. P-Dawg can play with the moonroof.
L: Alright then, see ya in a bit.
*He leaves. Davin Reaches for his Sprint PCS phone*
DM: *dials a number* Yes, Hello? May I speak to Alexander please?
AD: Yeah?
DM: How's your nose?
AD: YOU SON OF A BITCH! I WILL FUCKING K...
DM: BOOYAH, BITCH!
*Davin clicks off his phone, chuckling to himself, and puts on the Weapon X DVD; he hears yelling from the Executive Suites, Presented by Starwood Hotels*
L: GOSH DARN IT PHANTOS!!! WHAT IN THE LIVING HECK ARE YOU DOING???
P: I'M LIVING MY LIFE LUCIOS, YOU SHOULD TRY IT!
L: GOLLY GEE WILLIKERS PHANTOS! YOU'RE NOT FOCUSING ON YOUR LILLY-LOVING MATCH!
DM: Fuck.
*Davin goes toward the Executive Suites, Presented by Starwood Hotels. He happens on a lovely scene, involving a nearly naked Jamie Lynn; a fully naked Phantos; and Lucios, who looks like he's about to burst a blood vessel*
DM: C'Mon Lucios...
L: NO! DARN IT I'M TIRED OF THIS! *points* HE IS NOT FOCUSING! IT'S COSTING US!
P: IT'S ONLY COSTING US CAUSE YOUR'RE JUST A STICK IN THE MUD JERLY HEAD!
*Lucios lunges for Phantos, and Davin catches him*
DM: Out.
L: YOU CAN'T TELL ME...
DM:OUT!
*Lucios considers killing Davin, but decides the cleanup would be too much, and leaves*
DM: Ok P-Dawg, what the fuck? You had to do this HERE?
P: I live here.
DM: YEAH, so does Lucios you moron.
P: Well, So does Jamie Lynn.
DM: You have to be more respectful of...wait..WHAT??!?!?!
*A covered up Jamie Lynn smiles weakly and waves*
DM: Ok, Phantos...She's 16...
P: She's legal in West Virginia. Besides, Age is just a number.
DM: Dude, I don't like this...and WHY IN THE BLUE FUCK DOES SHE LIVE HERE?
JLS: Phantos said I could...If it's a problem...
DM: Do you have anywhere else to go?
*Jamie Lynn Shakes her head slowly with a puppy dog frown*
DM: *sighs* Ok. Listen, get dressed. We're all going out.
P: Where?
DM: Pizza place I know in Harrisonburg. We'll work this out...We always do.
JLS: So I can...
DM: For now. We all have to really get Lucios to come around.
P: Pizza?
DM: Yeah. Good spot I know. And if you don't like it, there's an old school Pizza Hut with waitstaff and everything.
JLS: COOL!
DM: And, thankfully...beer.
P: Ok D, we'll be out in a few minutes.
DM: *walking out* I thought the drama queen shit was somewhere else in this fed...
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:06:39 GMT -5
Firechild is working out in the OOWF gym when SFJ #69 (the best one) wanders up.
SFJ#69- Firechild, you have your first singles match in a while against Ryan hardcore at Mayhem, have you any words for your new opponent.
Firechild smashes the punch bag with a roundhouse kick, catches it ion the backswing and drags his MacCappington cut, emo-fringe out of his eyes.
FC- I've never faced Ryan before, and I have to say I haven't had much chance to watch his work here in the OOWF, what with being MacCappington's indentured serf so I have no emnity or anything for Ryan. Yet.
SFJ#69- But you must be excited to have a singles match, afetr a few weeks of tagging with your most recent nemesis?
FC- Thats true, and I suppose I should warn Ryan that I may have some pent up aggression and frustration to work out in this match, so he'd better not expect and easy nights work...
SFJ#69 - There has been some talk that you have lost your 'fire' as a result of being MacCappington's servant, how do you respond to these allegations?
FC- I don't know whos said that, but just because I'm not kicking off and setting fire to things doesn't mean complacent about my situation. Believe me, I will free myself from Cappington and exact my revenge in due time. Remember, still waters run deep, and at the bottom of the sea, there are the most violent volcanoes....
SFJ#69- What does that mean?
FC- I don';t even know, I mean I've had three hours sleep, I've been training for two, now I've got to go and hand wash MacCappington's jockstrap, wash the limousine, polish Volt's collection of caption boards and do the shoppiong, then byutler for dinner. I'm sorry if I'm not on my game...
SFJ#69 - And you didn't demean me as a female once?!
FC_ Don't worry Chica, the old Firechild will return, and get some gold on the way....
MacCappington and Lance storm into the gym and MacCappington smashes Firechild to the floor with an evil blow from a riding crop.
FFM- Damn you serf, you linger too long on your personal calinsthetics, and we find you dallying with this slattern! You shall have extra duties this week, believe me!
Firechild struggles to his feet, and meekly follows MacCappington and Lance from the gym....
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:07:33 GMT -5
Rabbxt and Firewoman are still in the hallway, when they see Jamie Lynn Spears standing forlornly in the hallway. Suddenly a strange look comes over Firewoman, as she stops... waits, as if she's sizing up the scene...
R: Wow, she looks depressed....Hey, what are you doing?
Firewoman moves quick as lightning. Spears sees her coming, starts to smile, but the smile turns to fear. This is no quick confrontation in the hallway about to happen, no 'congratulations for getting one in on the professional' pat on the back. Spears turns to try and be anywhere but here.
As she turns to run, Firewoman makes up the distance, and grabs her pony tail, swinging her around to face her. Spears ends up with her back against the wall
Rabbxt: DUDE!!
FW: WHAT THE FUCK? You think that just because you hang around back stage doing gods-know-what with that egomanic Darling that you can just hop into the ring and interfere?
JLS: I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I just got caught up in....
FW: Oh so you're going to cry now? Not even stand up for yourself? PATHETIC. You little two bit trailer trash ... it's plain and simple. Outsiders don't interfere in matches...
R: Uh....but...
FW: They don't get up on the ring apron, and they don't attack someone that they can't handle in a fair fight.
R: Don't we do that all the time?
FW: [who has clearly lost her sense of hearing... or just her senses] You think because you had a television show for about a minute that gives you the authority or the relevance to do anything more than stand around looking like a washed up pop-tart? Washed up at SIXTEEN!
Finally, you've outdone your sister. You were irrelevant before you turned eighteen. CONGRATULATIONS.
JLS: Let GO of me!!! I'm pregnant!!!
FW: Oh, NOW we play the pregnancy card. Did you THINK about that when you got in the RING with the big kids? Maybe they'll put your child endangerment case in with all of your sisters' cases. That would save the court time.
R: Fire, geez....what's wrong with you?
FW: It's because of your grandstanding that we lost the tag team championship match.
JSL: It was a draw....
FW: DO YOU SEE BELTS AROUND OUR WAISTS? That, my trampy friend, is a LOSS. And it's YOUR FAULT.
R: I think I need to get some help....
JSL: You aren't the only one...
FW: Jamie's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Really, when a crazy woman is attacking you, smart-ass comments like that are NOT going to help your cause....
The commotion has brought the attention of the Roving Band of Referees that seem to always appear just as things are going to go Really Badly, and GMtheRick pokes his head out of the office. Rabbxt manages to help them pull Firewoman off Jamie. Firewoman is beside herself with rage, as two of the RBoRs lead Jamie away to an Undisclosed Location. The remaining RBoRs restrain Firewoman, as Rabbxt tries to talk her down.
GMtheRick goes back in his office, muttering to his assistant about Firewoman's employment file.
Change scene to TNA and Blitz watching on the Ubiquitous Backstage Television Monitors.
TNA: Wow, I hope she calms down before next week. Or we have a problem.
B: I think Rabbxt is the one with the problem.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:07:58 GMT -5
**Canadian Dragon enters the Weapon X locker room where L.D. Williams is watching a tape of last week’s match.**
CD: “That last drop kick was a cheap shot.”
LD: “Yes, Yes it was. But at least it wasn’t through a table.””
CD: “Wuss. C’mon, we have an appointment.”
LD: “With?”
CD: “Our partner.”
LD: (getting up) “Does he know we have an appointment?”
CD: “Not yet.”
**Weapon X walk to the DEA luxury suite. Not bothering to knock, they walk in.**
Alexis: “What the-”
LD: “Alex.”
Alexander: “Williams.”
CD: “You two know each other?”
LD & Alexander: “Don’t ask.”
Alexis: “What do you want?”
CD: “We thought we’d have a little team meeting. You know, discuss strategy.”
Alexander: “You guys use strategy?”
**Williams shrugs.**
CD: “Put simply, we want to make sure your brother knows his place this week. Whatever little games you’re playing, drop them when you get in the ring.”
Alexis: “You think you can come in here and threaten us?”
LD: “No threats – just advice. You can make a name for yourself this week, Alex, if you forget about special guests and trying to recruit, or whatever the hell it is you’re doing with the other rookies.”
Alexis: “Speaking of recruiting, Darling Enterprise Inc could offer you-”
LD: “Please. I’m still living off the money I made betting against Adrenaline on the SFJ Olympics.”
Alexander: “And what happens if I decide not to heed your ‘friendly advice’?”
CD: “Four on four, five on three – it’s all pretty much the same to us.”
Alexis (laughs): “Do you think The E’s going to side with you two personality deficient-”
CD: “Watch it.”
LD: Eric and I go way back. I know where he stands. Alex, work with us on this – the alternative isn’t worth it.”
CD: “We are not enemies you want to have.”
**The Darlings glare at the door as Weapon X leave.**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:09:02 GMT -5
[The Dead is sitting in his locker room, watching footage from last night's Mayhem. He has a big smile on his face.]
Dead: Wow, what a great night. Moose drops a bombshell.
[The Dead motions to the TV he's watching.]
Dead: A damn good way to start off the show, if you ask The Dead. Of course, most of you were surprised by this. Not The Dead. It's good to know people in high places.
[The Dead laughs.]
Dead: Of course, then there was this...
Dead: Those gullible little Degrassi boys actually believed The Dead when he said he wouldn't get his revenge in the ring. What a couple of suckers. Now Nerve, Blitz, you two cost The Dead and Seamus a match, and we just returned the favor. If you screw with us again, The Dead will make certain that you two will never be able to compete again. Got it?
Dead: Oh, almost forgot this part...
[The Dead is laughing uncontrollably.]
Dead: The Dead...can't....breathe...hahaha. One more time!
Dead: Whew, sorry. Seeing Rabbxt splatter himself like that just makes The Dead laugh. Anyway, The Dead hasn't mentioned the most important happening of the night...
Dead: Now that is a thing of beauty. The Dead could watch that all day. In fact, that's exactly what The Dead is going to do. Get the hell out of here!
[The cameraman starts to head out, but you can still hear...]
Dead: Ah hell, one more time.
[The TV blares and all you can hear is "Voltage is able to move out of the way, and Rabbxt slams his chest onto the guardrail."]
Dead: Hahahaha....
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:10:35 GMT -5
Chris Cole storms into GM The Rick’s Office
CC: Rick, I have to know. Was I punished for being in PHWF?
GMtR: What the hell is this about?
CC: Is Bennett and Moose’s accusations true? Adrenaline and Alt are gone. Were you punishing me for joining PHWF? Was that the reason for not giving me title shots and driving me into my hiatus?
GMtR: Cole, I didn’t like you before PHWF was even thought of. You’ve been a pain in my ass from Day One. YOU are the reason that you left. YOU got burned out. Bennett is a hack. I didn’t drive PHWF out of business. Do you know what did? Inconsistency. Here at OOWF we promote a show each week and one PPV each month and we deliver. But Bennett could not deliver his shows on time. THAT is what killed PHWF. Everything else is just a conspiracy theory.
CC: Alright. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. I was an ass from the start. I’m sorry for blaming you.
GMtR: Are we done now?
CC: Boss, I really think you should reconsider my offer to protect you from Moose.
GMtR: Get out Cole. I don’t trust you and even if I did I don’t need your protection. Moose will fall in line.
Cole shakes his head and exits.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:11:16 GMT -5
(Ecosystem runs into Chris Cole as he exits the Rick's office.)
Cole: What do you want?
Eco: Um....Chris, what's the PHWF?
Cole: What? Why are you asking?
Eco: Because...(pulls out PHWF tag title)...I just found this the other day and was wondering what it was.
Cole: It's worthless.
Eco: So I can't sell it?
Cole: No. Goodbye.
(Cole leaves.)
Eco: Rude, man.
(Eco opens the door to the Rick's office.)
Eco: Hi Rick!!!
GMtR: What do you want?
Eco: Do you want a shiny belt?
GMtR: No.
Eco: But how will you hold your pants up?
GMtR: I buy pants that fit...why are you here again?
Eco: I was around.
GMtR: ...Can you leave?
Eco: Can I have my job back? I haven't been GM in like, forever.
GMtR: Oh I remember that. You started this place up as a two-bit piece of crap, then left the job in total ignominy.
Eco: Yeah. So are you going to give me your job or what?
GMtR: Get out of my office.
Eco: How about now?
GMtR: GO!!!
Eco: Fine! I'll go back to the LOADED locker room.
(Eco hits the teleport button on his belt and disappears.)
GMtR: ....Shoot. I should have taken that.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:11:38 GMT -5
<Gm the Rick leaves his office to see if he can find Eco, when he can't he stops by Ric's and grabs a sub, then heads back to his office. When he gets there he sees LJ Bennet and Moosehead Jack sitting there>
GMtR: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU TWO WANT? AND GET YOUR DAMN FEET OFF OF MY DESK!!!
<Moose grins and slowly takes his feet off the desk>
LJB: I am just stopping by to make sure you got the papers
GMtR: Yeah, I got some papers, complete garbage. <looking at Moose> I can't believe you would resort to this, letting THIS man fight your battles for you? Pathetic
LJB: Ricky when are you going to learn? I will certainly not be fighting Moose's battles for him. The man is a beast in the ring, he doesn't need my help there. However, against you, what recourse would he have had? You can book him as you see fit, and if he retaliates physically, then what? You get your wish and Moose goes away
GMtR: You know what Bennett, I have heard about enough of your shit. I had nothing to do with the PHWF, like I said earlier, you were sporadic at best, it was doomed from the start, just like this little venture of yours is
LJB: Now now, let's watch your tone, Rick. After all I AM your boss! And you can think what you like about the PHWF, part of the reason for the failure was you pulling the stars. I had to assure guys they couldn't be fired from the OOWF for competing on my show, it cost me a fortune, and in the end, it cost me the company. Now if I were a vengeful man, I just might want to do the same to the OOWF.
GMtR: you don't?
LJB: Are you kidding? The OOWF is a cash cow. Destroying this would be stupid. No Rick, I think what I want........is YOUR job. See I can sit back in Dayton and create policy, and I can watch the books and do all that. What I want, is to sit here in your office and make the matches. I am going to be the one who runs it all. Now, technically, I COULD just fire you and appoint myself, but where's the fun in that? No Rick, I am going to do to you what you did to me. I am going to marginalize you to the point where you are completely irrelevant, then I am going to can your ass.
GMtR: It will never happen Bennett, I have the support of the boys in the back, half of them have no fucking clue who the hell you are, the ones that do, know you are a slimy son of a bitch
MHJ: You really think you have the support of the boys Rick?
GMtR: What?
MHJ: How many have you pissed off in the past Rick? How many feel like you have screwed them over? I'll bet its more than just me isn't it Rick? See, you have a decision to make here, you can either take your chances on the support of the boys, or you can do the right thing and walk away.
GMtR: You go to hell Moose, Cole has already offered his support, you see what YOU forget is there are a whole lot of people YOU have screwed over in the back. A whole lot of the boys that think you are a sadistic animal. Join up with you? Not a chance. Now, both of you, get the hell out of here
LJB: Oh, Rick, before we leave, a little something about the OOWF Invitational. You just make sure my client here gets one of the 1 seeds in the tourney. We clear on that?
<Rick just stares a hole in Bennett and Moose as they leave>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:12:31 GMT -5
<Stank pops some Motrin in his mouth and chases that with a shot of Vermouth. Outback Jack joins him at the bar.> OBJ - Did you know the Fortress of Snobbery has a bar in it? I mean a really nice one. Stank - Yes, Lock let me in there once. OBJ - It must be- Stank - Before you continue... blah, blah, blah, caveman, blah, blah Geico OBJ - Stank - Endorsement deal remember? OBJ - Oh yeah, anyway, It must be nice to have a mobile locker room. You've seen that thing. It's a beaut. Stank - Beats the shit out of going from local bar to local bar, wrecking folks, turning the bar into the Destroyitarium and setting up the restrooms as our locker rooms. OBJ - ... not really. Stank - Yeah, this is kind of fun. There's little of that to be had now-a-days. OBJ - What do you mean by that? Stank - ... nothin... never mind. You seen the line up? OBJ - Yeah. Stank - What the fuck is Rick's problem? Why is he partnering me up with Capellan, Moreland and Cole? Capellan is getting a little to high on himself. Moreland walks around here like he's the fucking World Champion and Cole... well fuck man, Cole stripped down naked, hands ME his tights, walks out on the OOWF, comes back, and has the nerve to say I am following in HIS footsteps. HIS footsteps? Really? Who the fuck is he to say that to me? OBJ - Well he's... kinda right, mate? Stank - Come again? OBJ - I mean look at it. Both of you were part of pretty dominate factions in the OOWF. Both of you were tag team champions. Both of you have been World champs. Stank - I'm STILL World Champ. OBJ - And still World champ... I was gonna say that. Bottom line is there are similarities. Stank - ... well fuck I can't have that. I need to set myself apart. OBJ - Let's not go overboard here. I mean clearly Cole... used his cronies to keep the title around his waist. We haven't helped you a lick. So... you know... you're your own man and whatnot. And besides you still got Drink & Destroy. 3-Piece Set is dead and gone. Stank - ... OBJ - What's the matter? Stank - ... I can't shake the feeling that there's something... missing. OBJ - ... I can't imagine what that would be? You should feel like you're on top of the world. You're the World Champ afterall. Stank - But I don't feel like the World champ. OBJ - Heavy hangs the head, eh? Stank - No it's more than that. I need a win... a decisive one. OBJ - I thought that didn't matter to you? Don't tell me you're startin to buy into what Williams has been spoutin since you won the title? Stank - I've been dickin around here lately. All these multi-man matches are fucking up my win-loss record. The truth is me and Williams is a money match. That's the one I want and Rick won't make it happen. OBJ - Well what are you gonna do, mate? Stank - ... Make it happen.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:25:20 GMT -5
SFJ#44 seeks out Capellan.
"Capellan, any thoughts on Stank's comment that you're getting too high on yourself?"
"Only that all that alcohol must have finally rotted his brain."
"So you don't agree?"
"Agree? I don't even know what the heck he thinks he means. I'm too high on myself? Why? Because I think I can win the World Title?"
"You do?"
"Of course I do." Cap doesn't look entirely pleased by the SFJ's surprise. "The day I stop believing I have what it takes to hold the strap is the day I hang up my gloves."
"Wrestlers don't where gloves. That's boxing."
"... where does the Rick find you girls? Wait, don't bother answering that. I see someone I need to talk to."
'Someone' turns out to be LD Williams, who is walking around backstage with Canadian Dragon.
"Williams."
"Capellan." LD bunches his fists.
"Relax. Even if I was the kind of guy to go for backstage attacks, I wouldn't be dumb enough to take you on alone." Capellan sighs when this immediately causes both LD and CD to look over their shoulders. "And there's no-one sneaking up on you, either."
"Then what do you want?"
"To see if you've given any thought to what kind of match we should ask for at the PPV."
"Not really. Except that it's not going to be some ridiculous spotfest like 'Optimal O', or whatever stupid gimmick match you're thinking of."
"Actually, I was thinking one hour four-way Iron Man match."
"Huh." LD looks thoughtful, "Not the worst idea you ever had. But what if it's tied up after 60?"
Cap shrugs,
"Sudden death, maybe. Or a rematch for just those guys in the tie. Either way, I plan to leave with the title."
"You know, Stank may be right about you."
"Right. Because neither of you was thinking the same thing."
"True enough." LD admits, "There's one other thing I was thinking too, though."
"What's that?"
"Dragon and I ... we are the kind of guys to go for backstage attacks."
And the two-on-one beatdown commences.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:25:48 GMT -5
<Stank is wandering the halls of the OOWF arena when he spots the two on one brawl. He hesitates a moment or two, then decides to join in. With the odds evened out Weapon X, Capellan and Stank brawl to a standstill, before OOWF officials, jobbers, and attendant's break up the melee. Stank, who is bleeding from the mouth a little, collects his belt. Capellan walks right up into Stank's face.>
Capellan - Didn't appreciate your comments earlier.
Stank - What, you mean the one's where I implied you don't belong in the World Title scene? Those the comments you referring to?
Capellan - You son of a-
Stank - Shut the fuck up and listen. Despite what you might think Capellan, I like you. I think you're a hell of a competitor. But the last time you and I tussled one on one... something about that match just didn't sit right with me.
Capellan - Oh here WE go!
Stank - No! Nah! Because despite all that bravado you spit out about how you can BEAT ME for the title... when you HAD the opportunity... you didn't take did you? You HAD me on the ropes.... literally HAD me on the ropes and instead of letting me in, you kicked me out for a countout victory! Now that would have been all well and good if all you wanted was a win. But you knew DAMN well that you couldn't gain the title that way.
Capellan - It was the heat of the moment!
Stank - The heat??? You keep telling yourself that. But the way I see it... you're all talk. It's too bad too. You had something going there for hot minute.
Capellan - The last time we fought I pinned you!
Stank - Well woopty fuckin doo! You got a pin on the champ! What do you want a cookie? And what did you gain? You think you sent me a message? I know you can pin me when there's next to nothing on the line. But what happens when the chips are down. What happens when it really counts for something other than a stipulation in a gimmicked match?
Capellan - You are the most pigheaded- ... I can't believe ANYONE mistakes you for a face.
Stank - The only label I claim is champ! Fuck the rest. The only people I want to fight are those who want to be champ!
Capellan - I WANT TO BE CHAMP!!!
Stank - Really?
Capellan - YES REALLY!
Stank - Then come at me strong or don't come at all. So far you haven't shown me you're capable of that.
<Stank leaves Capellan seething. As Stank turns a corner, Capellan yells and punches a dent in a nearby locker.>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:28:51 GMT -5
*We open at Pizza Hut #718, Harrisonburg, VA; well, the parking lot anyway. Run DLP and Jamie Lynn Spears all pile out of the Dunkin Donuts Limousine and sullenly make their way to the doors*
DM: Lucios, would you and Jamie Lynn go get us a table?
L: ME?!? Why me? I don't want to spend 2 seconds alone with that little...
DM: TEAM UNITY!
L: Gosh darn it. C'Mon Jamie Lynn.
JLS: Little what?
L: *sigh* Never mind.
*They both go inside, leaving Davin and Phantos alone to sit on the bench outside*
DM: Now Phantos, you know...
P: Yeah, I know. She can't stay.
DM: No.
P: Why not?
DM: A) She's 16, B) She's Pregnant, C) It's not your kid, D) Lucios will fucking kill you, E) She's not safe with us when Darling and his minions are slithering around, F) I said so and G) This is just a one-off storyline to bail someone else out.
P: Wait...what?
DM: Yeah, never mind that last part.
P: Yeah, you're right you know.
DM: I know.
P: I just really like her, ya know.
DM: You like her cause she talked to you?
P: No, no, not that. I like her cause she's an underdog, like me.
*There's gay spooky lightning, fog, and from somewhere you hear "Bong, Bong, Woof". Underdawg makes a guest appearance from nowhere, with its eyes rolled back in it's head*
UD: Phantos....You will rest...in...fleas...
*Davin hits a flying REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER out of nowhere. Underdawg vanishes.*
P: That was...weird.
DM: Yeah. Continuity and history are weird sometimes.
P: So anyway, the odds are against her. Her family is trailer trash; her sister is insane and a baby machine; she's just confused and trying to do the right thing. I know what it's like for people to not respect me for who I am, or what I've come from; I really identify with that.
DM: Uh-huh.
P: So...what are we gonna do.
DM: Well, you know my Mommy, right?
P: Duh, I was there last week. Continuity and History, my foot.
DM: Anyway, I talked to her; and she said she'd be thrilled to have Jamie Lynn stay with her for a while in Cummaquid. I guess she misses having someone around the house.
P: And why would she be safe there? And what about your Mom?
DM: Duh. Who lives next door?
P: Oh...yeah...
DM: Besides, Dallas and Kim are pretty much over there everyday anyway. And if there's an emergency, we always have the jet.
P: That makes me feel better.
DM: So, are you ok with this?
P: Yeah, I guess. It's for the best right?
DM: Yup.
P: Ok, let's eat then
*Davin holds the door open for Phantos and they both enter the Pizza Hut. They see Lucios and Jamie Lynn in an actual conversation, and Lucios is OMG LAUGHING!*
DM: Well, this is friendly.
L: She's a riot.
JLS: *shrugs* I was just telling him about Uncle Kevin.
DM: That is funny.
*A cute little blonde co-ed named Cori comes over to the table dressed in full Pizza Hut Server Attire; but Cori manages to make it look not unattractive*
C: Welcome to Pizza Hut, my name is Cori, I'll be your server. Have y'all had a chance to look at the menu?
P&L: THIN CRUST PEPPERONI!!!!!!!!
C: Ok...
JLS: Antipasto? With like a million extra pepperochinis?
*Davin looks over in slight shock; Jamie just kinda grins and shrugs and looks down at her stomach*
C: And for you?
DM: *Cheesy Smile* Yes, can I have a Small Stuffed-Crust Meat Lovers, and a pitcher of beer. At least one. If you bring 2, I won't say no.
C: Ok...Can I see your ID?
DM: Are you kidding?
C: I have to...please? My Manager's looking.
*Davin peers over at the pimply faced shift supervisor behind the register leering at Cori as he reaches for his wallet. As he takes out his Massachusetts Driver's License. his old JMU Student ID falls out, and Cori notices*
C: Oh my GOD! You go to JMU?
DM: *hands her his license* Went. Long time ago.
C: *looks at the license and hands it back* Not THAT long ago *flirty smirk*
P: Can I have a Mountain Dew, Lucios?
L: We're boycotting.
P: But it's so GOOD.
L: *sigh* Ok, this once. I'll have an Aquafina
JLS: Do you have sweet tea?
C: Of course, sugar.
JLS: Yeah, One of those please.
*Cori looks back in the general direction of Davin before hurrying away to enter the order*
DM: So Jamie Lynn, did Lucios tell you what the plan was?
JLS: Yeah...*she looks at Phantos sadly*
DM: Are you ok with it?
JLS: Yeah, I guess. I understand. He told me your Mom is really nice.
DM: She is. You'll like her a lot.
JLS: And is she ok with me being...
DM: Oh yeah, she knows all about it.
JLS: Well, when am I gonna see you guys again?
P: Oh, we go up there all the time. Sometimes Davin makes me go up by myself when Lucios is gonna kill me.
L: Not often enough.
DM: Lucios...
L: Sorry.
JLS: Really? So like sometimes it will just be you and me?
DM: and my MOMMY.
P: Oh yeah. And his Mommy. But Mrs. Moreland is so awesome. You'll love her.
JLS: Will you call me?
P: Sure, of course I'll call you, I mean, I want to make sure everything's ok and stuff..
JLS: Cool.
DM: Thank God. Beer.
*They eat, well, Davin mainly drinks, drowning his stress in shitty pisswater Domestic Lager. When they're all done; Phantos stands up*
P: You guys mind if me and Jamie Lynn talk outside for a second?
L: YES WE...
DM: *cuts him off* Of course not. Go ahead. We'll be done in a few minutes.
*Phantos whispers something in Jamie Lynn's ear*
JLS: Yeah totally! I've been dying to see what you look like without it!
*They stand up to leave, and Lucios realizes something and stands up*
L: Oh LIKE HECK are you taking that off!
P: You don't own me, Lucios.
L: Like heck I don't!
DM: Leave them alone Lucios.
L: But what if someone SEES?!?!?!
DM: They won't. Will they Ninja Cameraman? *looks at the ninja cameraman threateningly*
*The camera shakes no, but the Cameraman gets his stars ready, just in case*
L: Davin, I don't think you understand...
DM: Dude, listen; it's done, it's over with; and this will pass. You want Phantos focused on the Best of 7? Having him happy and rested and stress-free is the way to do it. Telling him what to do and getting him pissed off at you is NOT the way.
L: It always worked before.
DM: *smiles* Yeah, but you're in the big leagues now.
L: I suppose you're right. I'm gonna get in the Dunkin Donuts Limousine. You got this right?
DM: Yeah, I think the PepsiCo card works here. See ya in a bit.
*Davin goes up to the register to pay, and Cori rushes over to get behind the register*
C: How was everything?
DM: Awesome, of course. We were lucky enough to have one of the best.
*She blushes*
DM: So, what's your major?
C: Major? Why do you think I go to...
DM: What's your major, Cori?
C: Sociology.
DM: Gee, didn't see that coming. What year are you.
C: Senior.
DM: Right. What dorm do you stay in?
C: Chandler.
DM: K, so you're a Freshman?
C: *really embarrassed* Rising Sophomore.
DM: *grinning* So where are you from? Fairfax? Falls Church?
C: Alexandria. *smiles* I can't believe you went here. Are you from Virginia too?
DM: Hell no. I'm from Massachusetts; I only went here for a year.
C: Why?
DM: They hate Yankees here.
MHJ: *from somewhere* As well they should.
DM: No, not THE Yankees. Yankees, like Northerners.
MHJ: My bad.
*A whooshing noise is heard*
C: Well, I think we're much more friendly now.
DM: Really.
C: Really, I mean..Things are really different now, but it's tough to tell if you're not with a local to show you...
DM: You know any locals to show me?
C: I might.
DM: Well, I've got to get running, but hey; if you can end up thinking of someone who can set me straight. Here's my Sprint PCS number. Have them give me a call sometime.
C: I will.
DM: I know you will. See ya.
*Davin leaves, chuckling to himself. He hits the doors and sees Phantos, with his back thankfully to the doors, maskless*
DM: Phantos! Quick put it on!
*Davin runs interference for Phantos in front of the Ninja Cameraman for a bit; but eventually the Ninja Cameraman overpowers him. The Ninja Cameraman is a little too late, as Phantos "sort of" has his mask on. You can't see his face, but it's not exactly on right*
P: I can't see!
*Lucios walks over and turns it around. Jamie Lynn is standing immediately in front of Phantos*
P: Helllllooooooooooo NURSE!
*They pile into the car and head back to Mt. Gay, WV. They arrive back at the Run DLP Locker Room, Presented by Aquafina and the Yum! Foods Jet is on the adjoining runway. Phantos and Jamie Lynn share a tearful goodbye, Lucios shakes her hand, and then...*
JLS: Davin, I can't thank you enough.
DM: You can thank me by making something of yourself up there. And don't give my Mommy a hard time, or I'll have to kill you.
JLS: *laughs* Ok, bye.
*She stands on the steps of the Yum! Foods Jet gets inside, and the plane taxis and eventually leaves.*
P: Aww man...
L: *Puts his arm around Phantos' Shoulder* C'Mon buddy. Let's watch some tape.
P: Yeah ok. Can we work out after?
L: Sure. You coming Davin?
DM: Yeah, just a sec. *takes out his Sprint PCS phone and dials*
DM: Hey, Yeah Dallas. Yeah, It's me. Hey. How's Kim? Cool. Hey listen, can you do me a favor? Keep an eye on my Mom a little more than usual? Uh-huh. Ok...Yeah...Yeah...She's actually on her way...You know what you're looking for, right?...The Millionaires?....That might be interesting...I don't think you need it yet...but...yeah...keep it on speed dial then...Yeah...I know, but it doesn't feel right when I say it...Alright...Alright I'll try...Ok...Later, man.
*Davin walks into the Run DLP Locker Room, Presented by Aquafina and walks over to the Sony Multimedia Center where Phantos and Lucios are watching tape - actively...Breaking stuff down...crazy focused. Lucios notices him out of the corner of his mask*
L: Don't you have a promo to cut?
DM: Yeah. I do...Not right yet though.
P: Why?
DM: Tired. I want to focus on it.
L: Ok..You need the tapes anytime soon?
DM: Nope...besides, they don't want to fuck with me. They will FEEL THE BANG!
P: The heck?
DM: Yeah, I told him it sounded dumb if someone other than him said it.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:29:12 GMT -5
Still inside the Run DLP Aquafina Locker Room...
Lucios: While you were playing house with that little girl
Phantos: Don't talk bad about Jamie!
Lucios: (smacks Phantos on the back of the head) Don't start with that again. While you were busy, I spoke with Rick. I asked him to re-hire Capps and Adrenaline.
Phantos: Holy Cow! Did he?
Lucios: Not as far as I know. As much as Magnusson and Hansen are tough cookies in the ring, i don't see them lasting long term as a team.
Phantos: What does that have to do with Adjuster and Adrenaline?
Lucios: Weapon X is off fighting each other and Stank. Capellan and Viper are irreconcilable. We've faced the Defenstrators ad naseum. Firewoman and Rabbxt are ready to implode. Nerve Agent and Blitz are too green. The Dead & McNasty and Firechild & MacCappington are destined to not last. Capps and Adrenaline are the only ones left.
Phantos: You forgot SYB and Apocalyptic Existance.
Lucios: (laughing) Good one buddy, good one.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:29:38 GMT -5
Standing in the gorilla position of the OOWF Arena in Mt. Gay, by gawd West Virginia we see Alexander Darling decked out in an expensive white Armani suit. Standing next to him in a dark black dress is the very Goth-looking Alexis Darling who has her usual briefcase with her. And right on Alexander’s other side are two of the sluttiest looking blondes the world has ever seen. Alexander looks over to Alexis as they wait for the music to hit,
Alexander Darling: Are the rest of the week’s appointments set-up as planned?
Alexis Darling: We should have our new interviewer here by Mayhem at the latest. It seems like this writer’s strike will come in handy as people are looking for work.
Alexander: Speaking of interviewers, can you fucking believe Davin sent that piece of jailbait trash to his li'l MOMMY’S house. What a fucking pansy-ass momma’s boy. I can’t wait to get my hands on him again. He fucking breaks my nose twice and thinks he’s gonna get away with it. Just wait and fucking see what I do to him. It was really fucking expensive flying in a plastic surgeon to get my nose repaired for this.
Alexis: I know Alex, but calm down. We’ll deal with Davin and his flunkeys later. Today is a big day for us and DEA. Speaking of, things seem to be going well with our other recruitment pitch. Things are falling into place quite nicely on that end.
Alexander: Good to hear, good to hear. They will solidify DEA as the premier group in OOWF history. We’ll be bigger and more powerful than 3 Piece Set, The Establishment, Heroes’ Guild, and The AYUFF. All of em will see what happens when money and prestige brings together the most elite group this company has ever seen.
Alexis: On that note of powerful groups, we have a meeting set-up with Weapon X and The E to discuss this week’s match. I don’t know where they get off…
Alexander: I know what you’re going to say, but they’re just marking their territory and letting the new guy know his place. They don’t realize that my place is wherever I want it to be. But on that same thought, I have no issues whatsoever with LD and Dragon. LD and I, well we know each other from way back and I won’t cross him. Hell, I’d love to have him in DEA, but he’s never been a joiner. I can respect that because he backs it up. Hell, if he ever needs someone to watch his back…well, I could be persuaded with motivation to do it.
Alexis: And Dragon, what about him? He was a complete jerk off.
Alexander laughing, That’s just Dragon being himself. Be lucky a ladder wasn’t nearby. The guy is getting close to becoming a washed-up joke as it is. Don’t worry about Dragon. As much as I don’t want LD as an enemy, he’ll keep Dragon in line to not become an enemy of ours.
Alexis: That’s good to know then. I still don’t like them thinking we’re as bad as the Degrassi group. We saw an opening and went for it.
Alexander: Oh, I know how we’re looked at for coming in and getting started with Bunny…I mean Rabbxt and his two drama queen friends. But Fire, I know she and you have your own thing, but she’s the ideal candidate for DEA.
Alexis: Bygones are bygones. That was a different Alexis. You know that better than anyone. Anyway, I’m getting the signal. Are you sure you want to do this?
Alexander: Yup, a compromise had to be made but it’s worth it. Now tell them to hit my fucking music.
Alexis gives a signal to the production guy and as she does, she notices the ninja cameraman slip away. She just shakes her head thinking that they never even bothered to think they’d be one here. Within seconds of the signal, the entire arena goes dark and a white strobe light starts bouncing throughout the arena. Suddenly a booming voice comes over the sound system, ”There Can Be Only One.” That leads directly into ”Prelude 12/21.” Right as the first drum beat hits, The Darlings make their way out from the gorilla position. Alexander looks like the pure definition of an arrogant and cocky punk. Next to him is the dark, Goth look of Alexis to balance out the two bubbly blondes walking a step behind Alexander. It takes him the rest of the song to even take another step and as soon as he does, his final music kicks in, ”Princes of the Universe.”
Alexander takes his time getting to the ring and makes sure that when he does, his two blondes make sure to hold the ropes open for both of the Darling twins. The crowd is booing both of the Darlings with passion and Alexander seems to be soaking it up while it seems to have no effect on Alexis until the “whore” murmurings start and you can see it starts to have an effect on her. Alexander covers her ears until the crowd dies down a little giving Alexis enough time to reach into her briefcase as she removes a microphone. Alexander nods to his sister who takes a seat on the top turnbuckle in the corner. He circles the ring and just as he brings the microphone to his mouth, the crowd starts a loud, “Shut the Fuck Up” chant. Alexander just laughs as he begins to talk,
Alexander: You people make me laugh. Do you really think that your little chant makes the world of difference to me. You’re the fucking idiots who paid your hard earned life savings to come and see me. So, why don’t you all be good little marks, sit there on your hands, applaud when you’re supposed to, and shut the fuck up yourselves. I am the star here and you are a bunch of inbred hicks.
The crowd is working themselves into a furor as the fat fans are trying to taunt Alexander to come and fight them. He’s not paying them any mind as he finally stops circling the ring and takes a seat on the turnbuckle down the ropes from his sister and the two blondes take their spots next to him.
Alexander: Seriously, you people are a fucking joke and if I had time and energy, I’d come out there and kick everyone of your fat asses. But these two lovely ladies were busing playing Nurse Nightingales as I recovered from the brutal attacks on my precious nose from that psycho Moreland.
The crowd cheers the mention of Moreland and his attacks on Darling.
Exactly as I said, applaud when you’re supposed to. Bunch of fucking marks. Now as I was saying; that’s why I don’t have the energy. As to why I don’t have the time, well my sister and I are out here with a very specific purpose today. And it’s not to discuss my partners this week. Because I know the 4 of us have more talent and entertainment potential than any other 4 wrestlers in this damn company combined. And I’m not out here to talk about my opponents. That’s coming in the next day or two once my new interviewer gets here since you people don’t deserve to hear those opinions live.
Alexander looks over to his sister and she nods as she opens the briefcase and pulls out a few pieces of paper and another microphone as well. The two Darlings look back and forth between one another since it seems like Alexander wants the papers, but Alexis isn’t moving. Finally, Alexis just shakes her head and points to one of the blondes. Alexander acquiesces and pushes one of the blondes towards his sister and she grabs the papers and brings them over.
Alexander: What The DEA is willing to do for you people tonight is show you some history being made. Tonight you will see the first contracts being signed by the newest members of The DEA. Alexis, if you will.
Alexis: Of course brother. Now, while I disagree with giving you people anything because none of you are worth a damn in this miserable world, business is business. So without any further adieu, I, Alexis Darling, and ”The Darling of Professional Wrestling,”Alexander Darling, present to you the newest members of The Darling Enterprise Agency…
Firewoman and Rabbxt
collectively known as Team RabbxtFire
Tons of pyro and ballyhoo as the crowd is somewhat shocked as they know the history between Darling and Rabbxt has not been good and even with the events of last week’s Mayhem that there could be simmering issues. There was no way to tell just how close the Darlings were to a deal with Firewoman, and no idea whatsoever that Rabbxt was being considered by the Darlings. Hopefully Fire and/or Alexander or even Rabbxt have some reasons as to how this came to be. But as we wonder why, ”Faint” by Linkin Park starts starts and out step Firewoman and Rabbxt from the back. The fans do not seem to be happy with this turn of events as their recent cheers for Firewoman seem to have backfired as this seems to be true. The two make their way down to the ring. Alexander motions for the blondes to hold the ropes open for the two, but both of Team RabbxtFire ignore the blondes as they flip over the top rope. Alexander just shakes his head as Firewoman gets into the ring and gives both blondes a look that could kill. Rabbxt is standing behind Fire trying to keep his eyes anywhere but on the Darlings or the blondes. A curious glance between Firewoman and Alexis lingers before Alexander jumps off his turnbuckle and heads to the center of the ring. Rabbxt cowers a little behind Firewoman before she turns and glares at him.
Alexander: Fire, it’s always a pleasure to see you. Bun..
Alexander pauses a second as Fire looks at him,
I mean Rabbxt, it’s good to see you as well.
Rabbxt just gives a weird look before going back to his half-cowering state behind Firewoman until she’s finally had enough and leans in to tell him something and he finally stands up a bit straighter. Alexis finally gets off her turnbuckle as well and makes her way over to her brother’s side. She and Firewoman give each another look before Alexis nods and Fire finally seems to relax just a little in the ring. Alexis hands over the second microphone to Firewoman, but it’s Alexander who talks again.
Alexander: Since I seem to not have a current personal interviewer and I refuse to let the random number generator send any out, I guess I’ll ask the questions myself out here. So, on that note…Firewoman, as you can tell by the idiotic crowd reaction, they are not happy that you’ve come out here for this. Any words for them?
Firewoman looks over the crowd and takes in their reaction to her where half are booing and the other half are pleading with her not to sign. She then looks over at her partner who seems to be going back and forth from standing up straight to shrinking behind the scenery. Firewoman takes one last look at Alexis before taking a long moment to look Alexander in the eyes before she brings the microphone to her mouth.
Firewoman: You ask me if I have any words for the fans here and I do. But before that, I’m going to say a few other things. I have to say the last few months have been interesting. I came here not expecting to be put into the ring so quick, but the people in charge saw potential I knew was there. And I wanted to make a name for myself so I let The Rick book me into anything to let me get onto the main show. And what does he do, he books me as Mother Hen for the Degrassi High bull. No offense partner.
Rabbxt just nods in agreement as its obvious he doesn’t want to cross his partner. She takes a long breath in trying to calm herself in order to deal with her partner. Alexander takes this time to ask another question,
Alexander: If you didn’t want to deal with the Degrassi shit, why align yourself with him? He seems to have been the ringleader.
Fire: Alex, you may not know me well, but your sister does. So trust me when I say this; Evan, or Rabbxt as he likes to be called has one of the best aerial move sets I’ve ever seen in the ring. And as we take care of Blitz, Nerve, Dead, & Seamus in the upcoming weeks, he’ll show exactly what he’s capable of. But on that note, I need to ask what your issue is with him and his flips?
Alexander: You really are feisty, aren’t ya? I like that; it will be a great quality to have in the long-run. And to answer your question, it’s not the flips I hate as much as the personality that goes along with it. I have no problem with doing high-risk moves when it fits, but there needs to be a foundation on the ground or else you fall. And if Rabb ever stepped foot in the ring with me without a foundation, I’d snap him like a twig. It’s not a wise-career move to be that dangerous.
Fire: I agree with you and it’s part of what we’re working on. And I’m hoping that once he gets over this stupid competitive nature bullcrap with Blitz about who can do what, that we see more of what he’s capable of.
Alexander: We’ll see about that. And I guess that brings us to the final point of this little show out here. A few weeks ago, my sister dropped off an application to you. Since then, we’ve spoken a few times and I’ve shown you what I and The DEA as a whole can do for you. Endorsements, benefits, and back-up to make sure you stopped getting screwed by interference and incompetent refs.
Alexis: Brother of mine, we’ve been through the sales pitch. Specifics have been negotiated. All that’s left is for signatures to be signed, the i’s to be dotted and the t’s to be crossed. Besides, we have a meeting to get to, Fire here has an endorsement spot to be made and Rabb…well Rabbxt has a job to do as well. So let’s get to it. These people don’t deserve to see anymore of us today.
Alexander: When you’re right, you’re right. Firewoman, what say we finish this then; assuming everything still sparkles with you.
Fire: If everything is the same as we agreed upon, then yes, yes it will sparkle. It will sparkle quite nicely.
Alexander nods and hands over the first paper to Firewoman. She gives it a quick read-through making sure that it hasn’t been changed on her. She nods a few times and looks up and straight into Alexander’s eyes.
Fire: I believe we have a deal Mr. Darling.
Alexander: Terrific, just fucking awesome. Alexis, a pen if you will.
Alexis: Ya know brother, this is why I was fucking holding the contracts. I had everything together and you have to have it your way. Where the fuck did I put that pen.
She starts looking through her briefcase for the pen when we see Rabbxt drop to the mat in front of Alexis, basically falling between her legs. He starts to stand up and give a long look to Alexis’ long legs when Alexander pulls him to his feet and grabs his shirt. Firewoman starts to get in between them when Rabbxt holds the pen up in his hand.
Rabbxt: Sorry, Mr. Darling. But I saw the pen and I was just trying to help. Don’t hurt me. See Fire, I told you he would break my…
Alexander Shut up, I made a deal and I will stick to it. Your legs and knees and ankles are 100% safe as long as you know your place here.
Rabbxt: My place?
Fire: We talked about this. Remember what you will be getting from this deal. And what possibilities are out there for you now.
Rabbxt: Are you sure? I trust you Fire, I don’t want you to turn on me. I’m not sure what I’d do if you ever did that.
Said in a quick aside to her brother, Alexis: I’m pretty sure it would involve emo music, no lights, and a small razor blade.
Fire and Rabb both look over to Alexis who tries to give off a look of innocence.
Fire: Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Hand me that pen Evan.
Rabbxt hands over the pen, Fire takes one last look at the contract before signing her name to it. She passes it back over to Alexis who then hands over the second contract from her brother to Rabbxt. He takes the contract and pen from Alexis Darling and begins to sign his name without even reading it.
Fire: Aren’t you going to read it at all? There’s something you should see in there that I had specifically put in for you.
Rabbxt: Well, I trust you so I was going to sign it. You’re my partner and you told me to. But if you’re telling me to read it first, I will.
He starts reading and it seems like he’s reading it to himself out loud. And reading it rather slowly, sounding out the big words.
Alexander My god, just read Provision 5.2.1
Rabbxt reads down the page and finds the clause in the contract and reads it. He does a double take and gets a huge grin on his face.
Rabbxt: Lifetime supply of Mountain Dew and full access to my own room of The DEA luxury suite? And personal training time with Jack Evans? And whenever I’m ready, a tour in Japan with DragonGate? Holy fuck, is this serious Fire.
Fire: I told you I would look out for you partner. And I did. But remember everything else I told you too. EVERYTHING.
Rabbxt cowers back as Firewoman gets in his face as she says the last words.
Rabbxt: Right, right…I’m sorry Fire. I get it. Alexan…I mean Mr. Darling, whatever you want, just ask. I’m here for you. This is, wow...I can’t believe it.
Alexander: Great, good to know.
Rabbxt finishes signing the contract and hands it back over to Alexis who gives it one last look and seems to accept everything is as it should be. She gives the nod to her brother and the Darling twins step up beside Firewoman and Rabbxt. Fire is on the far left, next to Alexander. Rabbxt is on the other side of Alexander, while Alexis is a step in front of her brother since she is a few inches shorter. Alexander takes the mic, cracks his neck and looks out to the loud, booing crowd.
Alexander: You may not like it. And you may hate me. But you can not deny what I am and what I can do. So fans and boys in the back, deal with it. The DEA is here and we’re only going to get stronger. And if you don’t like it, too fucking bad.
BOOYAH, Bitches
Firewoman: Oh yes, this will sparkle.
And even more pyro and ballyhoo as ”Princes of the Universe.” begins to play. Balloons and confetti fall from the roof, more pyro and ballyhoo as the Darlings, Firewoman, and Rabbxt all make their way out of the ring and towards the backstage. At the top of the rampway all 4 turn and give a mock bow. The DEA is here and they will be a force.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:30:57 GMT -5
camera fades to see Seamus sitting at his locker Seamus: "Everywhere I look I see lines being drawn and people taking sides...Moose against The Rick, Fire and Rabbxt joining the Aqua Teen Hunger Force or the Power Rangers, or whatever they are...I'm stuck in Noob hell, with the charisma challenged Blitz and Nerves...they have all the pop of a Chris Masters interview...The Dead and I are destined to be a tag team that will rival the Rock and Sock Connection...We have more teenage drama than a Springer show... and still people ask me why I drink? " Seamus" Why wouldn't I drink?"
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:31:32 GMT -5
<Moose is sitting in the back in a darkened room, singly bulb, I think you get the idea by now>
<after several moments Moose glances toward the INC and speaks>
You know Knife, you and I have had our differences in the past. I have always thought that you and I have more in common than not. We are both sadistic in action, and unshaking in our beliefs. So Knife, what I have to do to you this week is nothing personal.
And when I beat Knife bloody, and leave him broken and maimed in that ring, there is one man to blame. That's right Rick, this all falls on you. You accuse me of letting Bennett fight my battles for me? Well this week, there will be no LJ Bennet, there will be two men in that ring, one will walk out, one will be carried out, and you will carry the blame.
Trust me
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:32:25 GMT -5
*The cameras seem to be oddly focused on the cameraman nearest the DEA, and he's a big sumbitch. All of a sudden, the cameraman throws his camera in Alexis' General Direction and all 4 look toward the distraction. The cameraman whips his hat and glasses off, and Davin Moreland charges up the ramp at the confused members of DEA*
*Alexis is frozen in shock. Moreland reaches Alexander first, who, to his credit, manages to rear back for a haymaker; but Davin grabs Alexander's shoulder, then his other shoulder. Davin throws his head back and directs a wicked headbutt right at the bridge of Alexander's nose. Alexander crumples to the floor, howling in pain; yup, looks broken from here*
*That whole scene took about 3 seconds, and the crowd; now in collective realization; is absolutely batshit. Rabbxt, remembering he's now supposed to protect Alexander as of about 30 seconds ago; charges Davin with a front roundoff handspring into a leaping almost missle dropkick; but Davin catches him in mid-air, and connects with a WICKED Release German Suplex on the metal ramp.*
*Firewoman charges, her thoughts collected finally; but Davin just grabs her by the collar, and pulls her right into his face; complete with conveniently held microphone*
DM: FIRE! I used to respect you; but signing with this trash? That shit's over now. You need the money that bad? You're not tough enough to protect yourself? You need phantom protection from DEA? LOOK How great it worked here!
*Crowd Cheers Batshittily*
DM: Fire, you chose your path; and now you have to suffer the consequences. You've made enemies of Run DLP, Presented by Aquafina by doing this; and you dragged Bunny with you. Both of you had a choice to make, and you both chose DEA.
*Davin gets even more into Fire's face*
DM: Why?
FW: Screw you, Psycho!
DM: Wrong Answer.
*Davin catches Firewoman napping, and she eats a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX ON THE METAL RAMP as well. Alexis has her hands raised and looks like she's about to charge Davin; but Davin gives Alexis a head and shoulder fake. Alexis looks like she's about to pee herself, and takes off. Davin picks up the mic and stands over Alexander, still holding his face*
DM: You fucked with the wrong guy, Darling. You should have stayed in with the Degrassi Crew. They're more your speed.
*quick NUTSACK ENZIGURI to Darling*
DM: So you're on notice. Anytime you disrespect me, Run DLP, the OOWF, the Patriots, or anything else I deem disrespectful...Expect a visit from the Original Psycho Badass...Davin Moreland.
*Crowd Batshits Themselves*
DM: Oh, and one more thing Darling...
*dramatic pause*
DM: BOOYAH, BITCH!
*Davin throws the mic at Alexander's Noggin, and extends his arms to the sky as the DEA's Coronation Party concludes to Davin's Music, and the roar of the crowd in approval of the final result*
*Commercial for Papa Gino's*
*We're back. Moments Ago, Davin was a Badass and made mortal enemies of DEA, like he needed more.*
*We cut to Davin, and he's at GM the Rick's office door. He Knocks.*
GMtR: Davin? Come in, come in.
DM: *enters* Hey, boss...Been a while.
GMtR: Well, you haven't had much to bitch about...
DM: Phantos and Lucios on the other hand...
GMtR: I KNOW, I know...I'm working on it, ok?
DM: Ok.
GMtR: So, what brings you by?
DM: Boss, we've always gotten along, right?
GMtR: Pretty much, yeah.
DM: Well, I've noticed this bullshit going on with Moose, and I just want to let you know; you have my full support. I've got your back until this thing ends.
GMtR: Thanks, Davin. You sure you're not spreading yourself too thin?
DM: Well, when you're one of 4 Faces up against 35 heels; I don't really have much of a choice do I?
GMtR: Cole is a face now.
DM: Whatever.
GMtR: Anyway, solid stuff out there a few minutes ago. You would think they would have noticed a 7' 300 lb cameraman.
DM: Something like that.
GMtR: Anyway, good luck at Mayhem, D; I know you'll give it your best.
DM: Always do, Boss. And don't forget, I have your back in this whole thing.
GMtR: It's appreciated.
DM: See ya.
*He leaves and is stopped outside the office door by CBS Evening News' Katie Couric*
CENKC: Davin, you need to cut your damn promo now.
DM: Oh shit! You're right, Katie, forgot all about it...Ok, yeah, ready.
CENKC: In 3...2...I'm here with Onslaught Champion Davin Moreland. You're in a weird 4-man tag team match at Mayhem this week...
DM: I am, Katie; and I know damned well that I have to get my own back. I don't trust Cole; I don't know Capellan; and Stank and I don't exactly get along...
CENKC: And that's just your own team.
DM: Right. I have to deal with "The E" again this week; Alexander Darling and the DEA, who will be extra pissed off; and one of the all-time best tag teams, Weapon X.
CENKC: How do you think it will turn out?
DM: Well, there's nothing but Champs and Former Champs on my side, so I like our chances. The main thing for me though, is to make sure I make it out of there in one piece.
CENKC: You're worried about that.
DM: Kind of, and kind of not. I usually work better when my back's against the wall. It's all about survival for me this week, so I can get to the PPV in the best shape possible.
CENKC: Did you know by the time Mayhem rolls around, you will be the longest reigning Onslaught Champion of All-Time?
DM: Y'know, I heard something about that. *pats his belt* Maybe it will remind "The E" of what he used to be, instead of the caricature of what he is now. Anyway, it's a great a accomplishment, but it means nothing if I can't survive this gauntlet in the upcoming week, and come out with the belt on the other side.
CENKC: Onslaught Champion Davin Moreland...and cut. Nice job, Davin.
DM: Thanks, Katie. See ya around.
*Davin heads back to the security of the Run DLP Locker Room, Presented by Aquafina*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:33:54 GMT -5
*fade back in*
*Davin walks away from the Katie Couric interview to the Run DLP Locker Room, presented by Aquafina. He turns the corner and gets KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT by The E, who is welding a sledgehammer! The E stands over Davin's unconscious body holding what seems to be the most entertaining weapon in the history of weapon.*
The E: Let that be a lesson to you Davin. I may not be a part of DEA, but partners back each other up. That seems to be your problem. You don't trust anybody. The moment I saw you out there, attacking Darling and his new associates, I knew I could not let you get away with it. And consulting with The Rick? Offering to be his buddy? You're just asking for an ass beating. The Rick isn't going to be able to protect you from what I'm capable of, that's for sure.
*Davin, a bit groggy from the shot, seems to be stirring up when The E kicks him in the head.*
The E: You stay the fuck down! When will you learn? You can do all the sneak attacks you'd like. All it does is piss me off. And for the amount of credit you seem to be giving me, this should come as a huge shock. How do you like this caricature, Davin? Does it feel good?
*The E, with sledgehammer in hand, pulls Davin up and sits him against the wall.*
The E: This is just a preview, Davin. A preview not only to Mayhem, but also to the Dance of Death. At Mayhem, may team is all full of former and current champions as well. Me and LD Williams use to be tight. We work well together. Any friend of LD's is a friend of mine, and vice-versa, which means that Canadian Dragon and Alexander Darling will have no problem teaming with us. And we are prepared to take you and your team out. So take this beating as a message to send to your teammates.
The E: And at Dance of Death? When everything is legal? You'll be begging me to let you quit. As a SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT GOD...I'll be sending you to the equivalant of sports entertainment hell when it's all said and done.
*The Run DLP Locker Room, presented by Aquafina opens up and Phantos and Lucious come out, see what is happening to their friend, and starting running towards The E*
The E: Oh shit. I'm gone. And remember...BOOYAH BITCH.
*The E hightails it as Davin's Run DLP teammates call for medical attention. The camera follows The E who jumps in his car, and heads up to road, presumebly to one of high priced hotels*
*fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 28, 2008 14:35:30 GMT -5
(Spin Hansen is sitting in a chair, being interviewed by an SFJ.)
SFJ: Thanks for consenting to this interview, Mr. Hansen. I am, however, concerned about the absence of your partner, D.H. Magnusson.
SH: Like I've told everyone here time and time again, D.H. does his own thing, I do my own thing. Besides, I invited him, but he was on the phone with his kid brother, but he did tell me that he didn't want to talk to Shannon. I'm not D.H.'s keeper, and I'm starting to get really, really upset about people insinuating that I'm going to leave Drink and Destroy, or that D.H. is going to join D&D, or that the guy I've been talking to in the basement is actually The Rick in disguise, or whatever. Everyone here is a conspiracy theorist, I swear.
(Suddenly, Carl Coolname runs through the frame, screaming. In hot pursuit is Beast.)
SFJ: ... ahh... yeah. Let's forget that happened. The Uncrowned Champions, Phantos and Lucios--
SH: For the love of all that is holy, quit calling those sanctimonious assholes the Uncrowned Champions. The only thing that they're concerned about is getting more sponsorships and trying to make friends with disgraced little white-trash Nickelodeon actresses.
SFJ: Fine. As I was saying, Phantos and Lucious are not only taking you on in a best-two-of-three falls match tonight, and furthermore are demanding an answer to their "upping the ante" challenge. What is your answer?
SH: I'll tell you what my answer is... they can cram it up their asses. We all know that they're not going to accept the terms that D.H. and I are going to ask for when we end up winning this series.
SFJ: And those are?
SH: Well, I thought about demanding that they unmask, but that's been done in the past with countless others. No, I figured that I'd make it... a bit more personal. When we win for the fifth time, Phantos and Lucious have to agree to attack any OOWF superstar of our choosing when we tell them to. That isn't all, though. Not only will they have to attack, but they'll have to do it with a foreign object of our choosing.
SFJ: Let's move on to another topic... the recent revalation that The Rick caused the PHWF to fall. Your thoughts?
SH: Here's what happened the last time I tried to wrestle for the PHWF. I showed up at the arena in Zihuatanejo, Mexico, ready to take on a reunited KZ with Chris Alt. What did I find? Locked doors and a voicemail from The Rick demanding I meet him in Dayton. I was able to catch a ride back to the States with Caps. I was told that I was, in no uncertain terms, to never mention the PHWF or my participation in it. Rick, you killed my first chance at making it big. I was respected by the management at the PHWF. I was respected by my peers. In short, I had everything I wanted. And you took it from me. You're on my list, Rick. Remember that.
SFJ: Aren't you worried about The Rick punishing you for talking about the PHWF?
SH: Not as worried as he should be about me. I'm going to meet up with D.H. to talk strategy. Cut the mics.
(Spin stands up and walks away from the interview area...)
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