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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:31:54 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Isafjordhur, Iceland OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u] Stank vs. LD Williams OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u] Alexander Darling vs. F. Fonzworth MacCappington OOWF Onslaught Championship Match - Stips TBA[/u] Bunny vs. Eric O'Mac Moosehead Jack vs. Concrete TG Davin Moreland vs. Ecosystem The Dead vs. Firechild Firewoman vs. The Nerve Agent Outback Jack vs. Ryan Hardcore Donovan Viper vs. Capellan Phantos & Lucios vs. The Midnight Sons The Heels vs. BAD IHOP vs. Blitz & Voltage <a note is scrawled on the paper from GM the Rick, evidently written before he was nearly murdered> The OOWF World Tag Team titles have been declared vacant. A round robin tournament to crown the new champions involving Phantos & Lucios, The Heels, The Midnight Sons, BAD and IHOP will run through April and new champions will be crowned. - The RickCard subject to international treaties |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:32:39 GMT -5
(Ecosystem is storming around the balcony at the Motel 6 he's staying at. He is approached by a fat tattooed guy.)
Fat: Isn't you Ecosistum?
Eco: Yes, I is. What do you want?
Fat: Heh. You suck.
Eco: Excuse me?
Fat: You ain't won a match on TV in weeks! You're like, LOADED's wacky sidekick that don't win nothing.
Eco: Clever. Care to see how you'd fare in a fight against a wacky sidekick?
Fat: Prolly purty well, since you're way smaller than me.
Eco: That doesn't matter as much as you'd think.
Fat: Is that so?
Eco: Yeah, that is so.
Fat: Really?
(Eco jumps up and kicks the fat man in the head. He falls off the balcony into the pool below.)
Eco: Yes, really. And to your original point...I shouldn't have lost to Cole last week. I can't say I didn't put up a fight, but did I train less than I should have going in? Was I too arrogant to bother to study the tapes? Probably. I can't make that mistake with Davin this time. Cole has been around from the beginning, as I have. I can deal with a loss to him. Davin...well, that's harder. That's like UConn losing to San Diego. It's inexcusable.
Fat: (flailing) I CAN'T SWIM!!!
Eco: You're fat. Can't you just float?
Fat: Oh. (Stops flailing.) Yup.
Eco: Thought so.
(Eco goes back into his room as the fat man leisurely floats to the other end of the pool.)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:33:01 GMT -5
*IHOP is between venues celebrating their victory...
Skurge: Hey, we're in the tag-team tournament.
SYB: Yeah, we are. Did you notice who isn't?
Skurge: No, who?
SYB: The same jackasses we just beat, eh? Also, we're fighting them this week, because, well, what the fuck?
Skurge: Dude. Seriously. We must be fighting a team that's worth something.
SYB: Hoser. Seriously. We're not.
The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth: Kids. Let's not worry. Let's enjoy the champagne for tonight and think about the match tomorrow.
SYB: Aboot.
Skrge: Shut up, jackass. She's tanked.
SYB: God you're an asshole.
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:33:23 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is walking down the hallway and spots Donovan Viper*
DM: Hey, I know you. You're the gay guy.
DV: I AM NOT A...
*As Viper swings to *pop* Davin, Moreland drills him in the gut with a kick, and unleashes a wicked DDT. He covers and Barros slides in for the academic 1,2,3!*
YOUR WINNER and NEW HEAVY METAL DDT IRON PERSON CHAMPION...DAVIN MORELAND!
DM: Whee.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:33:48 GMT -5
The scene is the party at the DEA Hotel suites. The music is loud, and the alcohol is flowing...not real smart before a transatlantic flight, but there's celebrating and consoling to do.
Alexis is standing outside the bathroom, pounding loudly on the door.
Alexis: Oh, come ON.
Alexander staggers by with Hayden under one arm, and Cassie Scerbo under the other.
AD: [words slurring What's the matter sis? A hair dye emergency?
Alexis: No, the bathroom has been locked for hours.
AD: Come on, hours? Really?
Alexis: No probably longer than that. I just started keeping track an hour ago.
AD: Are you sure there's someone in there?
Alexis: Well, I can't really tell since the music is so loud.
AD: Hayden, you have a bobby pin or some other girly thing we can use to open this door?
Before Hayden can reply, the door opens, and Eliza Dushku comes out, with a huge grin on her face.
ED: Oh... sorry guys.
And then, before they can respond, the door opens again, and... Chris Jericho? He nods to everyone, although it's clear he doesn't really like them. Oh yes, he is also grinning though..
CJ: Thanks for the jet, Alex.
Alexis and Alexander share a look that says "We better hide the sharp objects, lighters, and accelerants before Firewoman finds out." But before they can even articulate a containment plan, the door opens again. A relaxed and grinning Firewoman emerges.
FW: Oh, hey guys.
Alexis: You are such a freak.
Alexander and his two dates laugh hysterically and walk away. Alexis is fuming.
FW: Oh lighten up, Lexie. I've told you before, jealousy doesn't become you.
Alexis: I'm not jealous, and quit calling me Lexie.
FW: Fine, geez. But really A-lex-is. You need to lighten up. Relax, let your hair down, maybe... you know... hook up with someone....
Alexis: Fire, I have more important things on my mind. Can we talk?
Firewoman nods and follows Alexis to a quieter part of the party.
Alexis: You know where this trip is taking us.
FW: We've only been talking about it for two weeks. Of course I am.
Alexis: I'm not sure there's a way out of it.
FW: There's always a way. I'm working on it.
Alexis: Well, I have a plan. Last resort, though.
FW: What?
Alexis is leans in closer, and whispers in Firewoman's ear. Fire's eyes brighten and a broad smile (wow, Firewoman smiles? Who knew?) creeps across her face.
FW: I like it!
Alexis: I figured you would. But remember... Last resort.
FW: Right, right.... last resort. I better go find Chris and Eliza. See you later!
Alexis goes back to being irritated. Firewoman walks away, then stops, and turns back.
FW: Why don't you join us, Alexis?
Alexis: Not with three layers of latex, Fire.
FW: Not what I meant, Alexis. Four's a crowd. [Alexis rolls her eyes] Seriously Alexis. Go have some fun. Go get laid.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:34:11 GMT -5
"I don't think a press conference is really necessary."
"Hmm?"
"I said I don't think a press conference is really necessary."
Mark Vander straigtens his tie, which manages to somehow only become more lopsided by the act. Giving up on the tie, he turns his attention to covering up the dark bags under his eyes from the previous night's intense lack of sleep.
"Nonsense," Alexander Bensouir, manager to the stars...er...star...ok, just Mark, says neatly straightening the tie. "It's not every day that a star as big as you returns to the OOWF."
Mark: Do you even remember what happened? I barely won a match, not against any real competition anyway. All I ever did was claim fake titles and get beat up by Viper.
AB: But you did have your own foam finger!
Mark: And do to a manufacturing error, it only had three fingers.
AB: It's like the shocker! Big hit with the kids.
Mark: This is why I miss Missy. She at least understood this kind of thing. Well...She did up until the kidnapping. And the rape. And the torture.
AB: Gosh, yeah. Maybe don't bring that up during the press junket. If they bring it up, just say, "The past is in the past."
Mark: Did you really manage to line some press up for a jobber coming out of semi-retirement?
AB: Yeah, all the big papers will be here!
Mark: Really?
AB: Well...no. But some really influential blogs....
Mark: Oh for-
AB: Look, I paid five guys to come down here and ask you questions. Real softball stuff. Then we'll send the tape to the OOWF and you'll be gold. Gold!
Mark: And what about that guy?
Steve the Cameraman: Don't mind me!
AB: Documentary filmmaker. We're going to document the comeback of the most decorated athlete in OOWF history!
Mark: This kind of thing is why I fired you in the first place. You know, why did I even hire you back?
AB: Because I work cheap.
Mark: Right. Look, forget the press conference. If I'm going to come back, I'm going to come back on my own terms.
Steve: And what about the OOWF split? And Viper?
Mark: I'll cross those bridges when I come to them. Right now, I need to get the hell out of this suit. Where did you get this thing? Baby Gap?
AB: They were having a sale at Penny's....
Mark: Whatever. I'm going back up to my room. I hear they're running "Latex Babes of Lustros" on the PPV channel, and...Wait, are you still recording this?
Steve: Streaming it live via OOWF Mobile, actually.
Mark: Oh, come on! This is going to be the worst redebut ever.
AB: If push comes to shove I've got an in with the Kurdish National Spelling Champion...he'd be willing to take a dive for a couple Baywatch DVDs!
Mark: Ugh.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:34:32 GMT -5
*Moments ago before the OOWF roster boarded a plane with the final destination of Isafjordhur, Iceland*
[The Dead is talking to LJ Bennett on the phone.]
LJB: Look, I understand your feelings on this, but I can't authorize it.
Dead: What's the big deal?
LJB: I already told you, El Muerte is NOT a contracted wrestler for the OOWF so he can't take the corporate flight to Iceland.
Dead: Fine. But The Dead is going to make sure Muerte gets there, even if The Dead has to pay for it himself.
LBJ: You do what you are going to do, but I can't sanction anything involving him.
[The Dead hangs up the phone and finishes packing his gear for the flight. Firewoman stumbles into The Dead's locker room looking a little glassy-eyed and shaky.]
Dead: First of all, jumping in here like that is a good way to get yourself killed. Secondly, rough night?
Fire: Shhh, not so loud! Hey, got any smokes? I need one before the flight...
Dead: The Dead doesn't smoke.
Fire: Fuck.
Dead: Looks like we're sitting next to each other on the plane. Seats 3A and 3B. You want the window or the aisle?
Fire: Aisle. Definitely.
[Firewoman walks away, playing with her lighter as The Dead packs the last of his things.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:34:55 GMT -5
On the long-ass plane ride.. The members of DEA look like they've been up partying all night. Firewoman is slumped in her chair, wearing her black leather jacket, sunglasses (even though the lighting in the plane is dim), and a ball cap pulled down. She's chewing gum as if her life depended on it. She's wearing headphones, and the vague sounds of something dark, angry, and depressing can be heard coming from them. Her every demeanor says "Leave me alone," and that's how she wants it. So, imagine her surprise when she feels something soft and furry, almost like a stuffed animal, brush against her hand. She opens one eye, and sees a glimpse of white fur. She opens both eyes to see Bunny crouched in the aisle next to her.
B: Doin' okay, Flamechick?
FW: I was. Didn't we once have a discussion about bugging me on a plane?
B: We may have. Hard to say. I've lost track of how often you told me what to do.
FW: I'm fairly certain we did. [She opens her eyes a bit more.] Did you seriously wear that through the security check point?
B: Yes. You must have missed it. I think it was during your altercation.
FW: [Laying her head back down and closing her eyes] What altercation?
B: The one where the TSA wanted to take your lighter and you refused and they had to escort you into the special room?
FW: Oh... that one. Thank goodness Alexander was able to smooth things over. [She reaches into her pocket and produces a very nice Zippo lighter.]
B: Yeah, glad you turned on me for him so you could keep a lighter. That's planning. What do you even need that for, anyway.
FW: Comfort. Security. Setting fur on fire....
B: [Stepping back a bit] Yeah, DEA has done wonders for your personality.
FW: And leaving DEA has turned you into a Furrie.* You know what would do wonders for my personality? That sparkly little belt you've got there. And now that it's not on a DEA member's waist, I am free to set my sights on it. Because I think we've established, Bunny, that there is no belt you have that I cannot take from you.
At that point The Dead returns from walking around the plane to stretch his legs. Bunny walks up the aisle to let The Dead return to his seat.
*Google it. But probably not from work...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:35:25 GMT -5
**Fade in. **
**Things are kind of hazy but we see Eric O'Mac. His hair...is shorter. And a different color. And it's curly. This new look Eric O'Mac is drinking heavily. And not that Corona shit that he usually drinks. There's enough alcohol in that bottle he's drinking from to kill a small village. But instead of being drunk, he just looks...weird.
Normal.
Too normal.
He's sitting down in his old locker room. The posters of WWE Superstars cover the pale beige walls. There's Randy Orton. There's Triple H. There's Kane. Ric Flair. Shawn Michaels. John Cena. Undertaker. Hogan. Mankind. They are all there. And it seems as if they are all staring down on him. As Eric sits in the middle of his room, wearing an OOWF t-shirt and blue jeans, he sulks.
He grabs a note out of his bag that is sitting at his feet. He opens it. The camera cannot focus in to the note. Helpfully, Eric reads it aloud in a monotone, somber voice.**
Eric: Eric. Sorry we couldn't catch you after the show. We're sorry about the outcome of your match. Come by the DEA party tonight. It'll cheer you up. And don't worry about tonight. Everyone has off nigths. You'll get 'em back.
Alexis Darling.
**He closes the note and puts it back in his gym bag. And he just stares. Stares at the Hulk Hogan poster that is in front of him.
He stands up.
He gets a little closer.
After he's about a foot away from the Hogan poster, he starts to sing in the same monotone, somber voice at low tempo.**
Eric: When it comes crushing down and it hurts inside....
**He reaches into a locker that is sitting beside the Hogan poster.**
Eric: ...you've gotta take a stand, it don't help to hide...
**Eric pulls out a set of brass knuckles. He walks across the room and stares at a Triple H poster. There is a locker sitting beside this poster as well. As he reachs into it, he says in a much raspier voice...**
Eric: Time to play the game.
**Eric pulls out...a sledgehammer. A smile goes across his face. An evil smile. A smile that we've never seen from him before. Devious. Frightening.
And he starts walking. Out of his locker room. Into the hall.
The camera struggles to keep up with Eric O'Mac's brisk pace. He turns a corner. And another. And another. And suddenly...he stops.
He stares at the door that he stopped in front of. The name on the door is clear: RUN DLP.
Eric takes the sledgehammer and bashes the door in, security be damned. He walks in and sees Davin Moreland packing up his gear.**
Davin: What the fuck do you want?
**Eric is silent. He holds in the sledge hammer in one hand and stares Davin Moreland down.**
Davin: I see. You want your revenge for me screwing you over. It's like I told you earlier, payback is a bitch.
**Eric says nothing.**
Davin: What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?
**Silence.**
Davin: You want to hit me? Go ahead. Nothing I won't no sell anyways.
**Silence.**
Davin: How's it feel to be screwed over by your......UGHNNN!!
**Davin clutches his chest. There's a wire coming out of his shirt...and it leads back to Eric O'Mac's hand! He tasered him! Davin, to his credit, is still standing.
Eric walks up to his face. Davin tries to lift his arms, but can't. Eric grabs the sledgehammer and bashes him in the head!
And Davin is still standing.**
Eric: You are a real jackass. Nobody is super human.
**Davin, still standing, can't speak.**
Eric: That's alright. I won't have to worry about your no-talent, no-selling ass any longer.
**Eric then, very calmly, pulls out his brass knuckles and catches Moreland sqaurely in the temple! Davin goes down to his knees...until Eric blasts him again! And again! Finally, Davin falls onto his back and Eric takes the sledgehammer and bashes him in the skull. Again! Several times!
The blood of Davin Moreland is everywhere. All over his face. But Eric isn't done. He takes off his brass knuckcles and starts gouging Moreland's right eye! Eric is literally taking his thumb and his index finger and he is trying to rip Moreland's eye out!
And he does it. Moreland's eye is hanging on the side of his face. Eric rips it out and throws it on the floor. Moreland has to be dead or somewhere near death.
And Eric steps on Moreland's eye. Satisfied, Eric leaves the Run DLP locker room, leaving Davin Moreland for dead, lying in a pile of his own blood.**
**The haze is lifted and Eric opens his eyes. It's dark. He suddenly remembers where he is. He's on a plane. Alexis Darling sitting to his left, Alexander sitting beside her. Eric is next to a window. The plane is eerily quiet. Most OOWF Wrestlers are sleeping.
Eric looks around. He sees the member of Run DLP sitting near the back of the plane. Phantos is sleeping, Lucious is studying tape on a portable DVD player. Davin Moreland appears to be reading some kind of book.
The camera spans back over to Eric. Eric reaches into his carry on bag, and finds the note that Alexis left him the night before.
But Davin Moreland is alright. In fact, he never looked better.
As Eric comes to the slow realization that the events occuring moments ago were a dream, he thinks. A dream mired with a little truth. He remembers getting his hair cut. He remembers reading the note. He remembers singing to himself.
And most of all, he remembers the rage that he was in the previous night. Monsterous.
He doesn't remember anything else. Did the dream really happen? Impossible. Davin Moreland is healthy. Both eyes intact.
But why can't Eric shake the feeling that he's really done it this time? Is it a sign of things to come? Or has Eric's rage spread into his dreams? Making his dreams seem vividly real.
Eric turns and see's Alexander watching a movie on his DVD player. Bring It On. Alexis, for a few minutes at least, has fallen asleep.
He turns around to stare at Davin one more time. In his eye, he catches Bunny with the Onslaught Championship over his white furry shoulder.
And as Eric turns around to look at Davin one more time, he freezes.
He stares.
....And he smiles that same evil smile.
**Fade out.**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:35:50 GMT -5
At the airport, we find The Heels simultaneously yelling into their cell phones.
AA: He can’t do that! We’re THE World Tag Team Champions! It’s beyond the OOWF!
JA: Held up! Held up! I’m already held up!
AA: ABUSE! OF! POWER! And he doesn’t even have any power!
JA: There has to be something in our contracts that disallows this!
AA: And I KNOW our contracts state that all tournaments are to be held in Las Vegas!
JA: Do you know what happened to AA the last time we had to fly across an ocean for this company?
AA: Do you know what happened to Johnny the last time we had to fly across an ocean for this company?
(A long pause from both as they listen intently. Suddenly both break out in smiles.)
JA: Ok, fine. But you better find me a golf course by the time we touch down.
AA: And an Internet connection. Cause I damn sure know there aren’t any casinos in Iceland.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:36:17 GMT -5
**Bunny is on the airplane, repeatedly jamming the assistance button until a flight attendant comes.**
Flight Attendant: Can I help you, sir?
Bunny: Damn straight. I'm gonna need another Mountain Dew, please.
Attendant: I'll get right on it.
Bunny: Thanks, miss.
**Davin Moreland shouts from the front of the plane.**
Davin Moreland: Bunny!
Bunny: What up, Davin!?
Davin: We forgot about the eggs!
Bunny: What eggs!?
Davin: What!?
Bunny: I said, WHAT EGGS!?
Davin: WHAT!?
Bunny: I SAID, WHAT EGGS!!??
Davin: The Easter eggs!
Bunny: The what!?
Davin: THE EASTER EGGS!
Bunny: WHAT!!??
Davin: EASTER EGGS!!
Alexander Darling: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
Bunny: Ayo, Davin!
Davin: HUH!?
Bunny: DAVIN!!
Davin: WHAT!!??
Bunny: Maybe you should run up here real fast!
Davin: I should what!?
Bunny: You should run up...
Davin: WHAT!!??
Alexander: SHUT THE FUCK UP!! JESUS CHRIST!!
Bunny: I'm just gonna come back there!
Davin: What!?
Bunny: I'M JUST GONNA COME BACK THERE!!
Davin: YOU'RE GONNA WHAT!!??
Bunny: I'M GONNA COME BACK THERE!!
Davin: YOU'RE GONNA GO WHERE!!??
Alexander: SON OF A BITCH!! HE'S GONNA GO BACK THERE!!
Davin: BACK WHERE!!??
Bunny: BACK THERE!!
Davin: WHERE'S THERE!!??
Alexander: IT'S WHERE YOU ARE!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
Davin: Oh.
Bunny: Yup.
**Silence**
Alexander: WELL!!??
Bunny: Well, what?
Alexander: ARE YOU GONNA GO BACK THERE!!??
Bunny: Nah, yo. I forgot what I wanted to say.
Alexander: AAAAAAARRRGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**Alexander Darling gets up to use the restroom. Bunny stands up and hops down the aisle.**
Bunny: What eggs?
Davin: The Easter eggs.
Bunny: Oh, yea. Whatever.
Davin: Yup.
**Bunny heads back to his seat, as Alexander is headed back to his. They meet in the middle of the aisle.**
Alexander: Move.
Bunny: Ok.
**Bunny moves.**
Alexander: Woa.
Bunny: What?
Alexander: That was easy.
Bunny: I didn't wanna deal with your complaining the entire plane ride.
**Alexander heart punches Bunny.**
Bunny: Ouch.
Alexander: Take that.
Bunny: I thought you hated the heart punch?
Alexander: Sit the fuck down.
Bunny: Eh, fine.
Davin: DON'T TAKE THAT FROM HIM, BUNNY!! YOU'RE THE ONSLAUGHT CHAMPION!!
Bunny: I'M THE WHAT!!??
Alexander: AAAAAAARRRGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**Fade to black.**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:36:42 GMT -5
*Davin puts down his 'Learn Icelandic in 30 Minutes a Day!" book and looks around. Phantos is playing something on his Sony PSP. Something with a clusterbomb. Lucios is on his Sony Vaio watching some match from WCCW*
DM: Dude, you should watch Flair/Steamboat.
L: Who and who?
DM: Are you serious?
L: If it didn't happen in Texas, it didn't happen.
DM: *sigh* Do yourself a favor. Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat feuded on an off for something like 13 years, from the NWA to the WCW to Japan to Mid-Atlantic to freakin' everywhere. You like well-defined heels and faces, you'll love that.
L: Hmm. I'll check it out. If I see one more armbar reverse into a hammerlock I might have to kill myself.
DM: Ok, Bunny.
L: Cute.
*Davin gets a text message on his Sprint PCS phone*
DM: Dammit.
L: What?
DM: I just wanted to be a wrestler this week...I'll be back in a bit.
*Davin walks up the aisle and checks the scene around him; He sees Psycho Eric and makes the "belt" sign to him to piss him off. He sees Fire in her "Leave me Alone" state. He catches the attention of a flight attendant and says "Cheeseburger" and points to Firewoman. Continuing on, he sees the NEW ONSLAUGHT CHAMPION BUNNY*
DM: Bunny.
B: Ayo. Davin.
DM: The eggs, man. Are we seriously killing the eggs angle?
B: Ayo.
DM: Fine, I'm never hiding eggs again for you.
B: Ayo.
DM: Alright Champ.
*Davin continues up to the executive office and knocks*
??: Come in.
*Davin enters and takes a seat at the table acting as a desk*
DM: What's up, Erlana?
E: Well, nothing, except now we've got a vacancy in the GM's office.
DM: Where?
E: GM.
DM: Where the fuck is Rick?
E: Yeah, he's pretty much dead after what happened to him Sunday. Nice of you to help.
DM: Don't give me that shit, Erlana. You knew damned well what was going to happen and what he was doing. Don't tell me you didn't see it.
E: Well, obviously he'd never listen to me.
DM: Obviously. Maybe if he had we wouldn't be in this position.
E: Can't worry about that now. How do we go forward?
DM: Damned if I know. Where do you want to start?
E: I'd like to fill the GM position first.
DM: Ok. I nominate you.
E: HA! I'm just a secretary. It should be you. You're next in line.
DM: No offense Erlana, but fuck that. There is no way I can do that job right now. I can't go to the booking committee and then be an active wrestler.
MHJ: Hi Davin.
DM: Moose.
E: Then..what are we gonna do?
DM: Erlana, it will be you; but I know if you need help, Stank was interested in taking thew job on an interim basis if need be, It might be "need be" time. You should ask him.
E: Why don't you ask him.
DM: I think he's still mad at me or something. Besides, you're better looking. He might be more responsive to that.
E: Fine, I'll get to it. What about the rest? What about the team? Without Cole we might be screwed. Thank God Crete is back.
DM: Whatever. How is he even "back"? I imagine Vince is going to throw a hissy-fit when he finds out.
E: Luckily we're out of the country.
DM: Are we lucky? I mean honestly, I don't trust Crete at all - he quit on the OOWF and now he's back to play the hero. Things have changed, and his tired act doesn't work anymore. And I hope he doesn't think the newer workers are going to give a shit what he has to say about anything. Hell, *I* don't give a shit about anything he has to say.
E: Why all the anger?
DM: At first, it was the stupid hero gimmick, when all he ever saved was time to hog the spotlight with his Moose series. And now? The arrogance. The arrogance to think he can come in here and run the damned show? The arrogance to think we'd all just accept him back with open arms? There's no way he's that naive. And if he is I pity him, but that doesn't excuse his actions in the slightest. They're inexcusable. What a joke. The cocky, arrogant super hero. How egomaniacal must one be to even attempt to pull that off?
E: I don't know. I don't even want to know. All I know is I have paperwork to do. Can you do some?
DM: Yeah. I'll take it with me.
*Erlana puts the papers in a manila folder and hands them to Davin*
E: Davin, we can still count on you, right?
DM: I made a promise, Erlana. No matter how pissed off I am, I still made a promise.
*He leaves and heads back to his seat, passing the DEA section on the way. Alexis gets up and follows. She taps him on the shoulder and Davin turns around*
DM: What? Oh, Hi Lexie. What's up?
AD: We need a sit down.
DM: Um, sure, no problem. Come on back. I can spare a few minutes.
AD: No. WE need a sit down. DEA needs a sit down.
DM: Are you saying?
AD: yup.
DM: You've gotta be kidding me.
AD: Listen, I think it's probably a bad idea too, but he seems to think...
DM: This is HIS idea, Lexie?
AD: Pretty much.
DM: By pretty much you mean...
AD: I mean, it's mostly my idea, but I think he agreed to it when he was listening to his MP3.
DM: This may not be the best idea.
AD: I think it's important.
DM: *stares at her for a minute trying to get a read* Ok, listen. I've got some paperwork to do. Once I clear that, I'll text you and we can go from there.
AD: *beaming* Thank you. I really think it's important.
DM: I'm doing this as a favor to you, Lexie; because you've dealt straight with me in the past.
AD: *looks down* I appreciate it.
DM: Alright then. I'll contact you in a bit.
*Davin returns to his seat and starts in on the TPS reports*
L: You were right. This Flair/Steamboat stuff was awesome. Too bad they weren't in real wrestling.
DM: In Texas.
L: Yup
P: There's a lot you don't know about me.
DM: No, wrong one.
P: Aww man!
DM: Not that either.
P: STORMY DANIELS!
DM: Fine.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:37:07 GMT -5
<As Alexis gets back to her seat, there is a single black rose sitting there waiting for her with a note attached>
Fire is not the only one who deserves gifts. See you soon.
Alexis goes pale and trembles a bit, then throws the rose on the floor and stomps it, drawing some strange looks from everyone else. She stops and regains her composure a bit, then straightens herself out and walks away>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:37:29 GMT -5
LD Williams runs into Viper near the airport restroom
LDW: Well, well, well. Look who couldn't get the job done.
DV: Shut up.
LDW: Oh no. Oh no, no, no. After all the talk from you the last two months, all the bullshit you've been spewing about me being someone who couldn't get the job done, here you are. No belt. Not even the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Belt. You lost two belts in two nights, just like Rob Van Dam.
DV: Who?
LDW: Some guy. He beat you for that title a while back in Jamaica.
DV: I don't...
LDW: Never mind. So yeah. Look at you. You lost. And now you won't ever get a title shot again.
DV: No. I just won't get another title shot against Stank.
LDW: You don't seem so upset.
DV: Well, BROTHER... you're facing him at Mayhem, right?
LDW: Oh. So now you want to help me, right? Because if I become champ, then you can have a title shot?
DV: Pretty much, yeah.
LDW: You know, I'm not against your line of thinking.... But could you, um, tell your dad to stop hanging out with my mother?
DV: You know my pops doesn't listen to me.
LDW: I know, but still. It creeps me out.
DV: It's not I really like it either.
LDW: Fine. Fair enough. By the way. Glad to see that you and I are on the same team for the first time.
DV: Um, I don't remember you joining LOADED.
LDW: I'm talking about Team Bennett.
DV: Yeah, well... Yeah. Good luck on Wednesday. If you need anything, let me know.
LDW: I will certainly keep that in mind.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:37:53 GMT -5
D.H. Magnusson is SITTING!~ alone in the airport lounge, staring at laptop computer:
The man in black grabs Rick and sends him repeatedly into the cage until Rick’s face is a bloody mess. The man in black mounts Rick and hammers away. Finally F. Fonzworth MacCapppington, Donovan Viper, Ecosystem and Ryan Hardcore rush to the ring getting a huge pop from the fans, they storm into the ring and the man in black is backed into the corner. He begs off as Rick gets to his feet. As he does, Viper hits the ropes and NAILS Rick from behind with a Death Elbow that sends him staggering right into a choke slam from MacCappington! IT WAS A SET UP ALL ALONG!! They shake hands with the man in black as Eric, LD Williams, IHOP, The Heels, The Dead and LJ Bennett all make their way to the ring and take turns brutalizing Rick. Hardcore locks the cage door and MacCappington and Eric produce handcuffs and cuff Rick onto the cage crucifixion style.
Magnusson takes a drink from the glass at his elbow, then rubs his face before tapping a key on the laptop:
The man in black grabs Rick and sends him repeatedly into the cage until Rick’s face is a bloody mess. The man in black mounts Rick and hammers away. Finally F. Fonzworth MacCapppington, Donovan Viper, Ecosystem and Ryan Hardcore rush to the ring getting a huge pop from the fans, they storm into the ring and the man in black is backed into the corner. He begs off as Rick gets to his feet. As he does, Viper hits the ropes and NAILS Rick from behind with a Death Elbow that sends him staggering right into a choke slam from MacCappington! IT WAS A SET UP ALL ALONG!! They shake hands with the man in black as Eric, LD Williams, IHOP, The Heels, The Dead and LJ Bennett all make their way to the ring and take turns brutalizing Rick. Hardcore locks the cage door and MacCappington and Eric produce handcuffs and cuff Rick onto the cage crucifixion style.
DHM picks up the glass again, staring at it for a minute before draining the last remaining inch at the bottom. With his free hand, he hits a key on the keyboard again:
The man in black grabs Rick and sends him repeatedly into the cage until Rick’s face is a bloody mess. The man in black mounts Rick and hammers away. Finally F. Fonzworth MacCapppington, Donovan Viper, Ecosystem and Ryan Hardcore rush to the ring getting a huge pop from the fans, they storm into the ring and the man in black is backed into the corner. He begs off as Rick gets to his feet. As he does, Viper hits the ropes and NAILS Rick from behind with a Death Elbow that sends him staggering right into a choke slam from MacCappington! IT WAS A SET UP ALL ALONG!! They shake hands with the man in black as Eric, LD Williams, IHOP, The Heels, The Dead and LJ Bennett all make their way to the ring and take turns brutalizing Rick. Hardcore locks the cage door and MacCappington and Eric produce handcuffs and cuff Rick onto the cage crucifixion style.
CRAAAAACKITCH
The glass cracks, and then shatters in DHM's left hand. For a moment he stares at the blood streaming from his hand, as if he's never seen it before.
DHM: Balls.
Magnusson absentmindedly wraps a bar towel around his hand, still looking at the laptop.
Random Airport Page: Pardon me, are you a Mr. D.H. Magnusson?
DHM: ...yeah.
RAP: Well sir, you're flight is boarding. They sent me to find you and a Mr. Hansen?
DHM: Ain't seen him.
RAP: Well sir, they said you'd be together...
DHM: Well he ain't here. What gate?
RAP: Gate 13, sir. That's in C-4
DHM: Of course. Don't know why I even bothered asking.
RAP: I can arrange an airport passenger shuttle to -
DHM: Nah. I can find it.
DHM gets up walking out of the lounge. After a moment he stops, smiles to himself and turns around.
DHM: Wait...What section again?
RAP: C-4
DHM: What?
RAP: C-4!
DHM walks away smiling, as airport security tackles the RAP to the ground.
DHM: That might never get old.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:38:18 GMT -5
<Stank is sitting with the rest of Drink & Destroy, on the upper level of the plane. LJ Bennett and most of his crew also happen to be on this level. D&D are drinking beers and playing poker toward the back of this section.>
Stank - Mags do me a favor.
<Stank leans forward.>
DHM - What?
Stank - Check behind me. Make sure that's a seat cushion back there and not a Chickenshit Heel.
OBJ - Heh Heh... I think they're called The Heels now.
Stank - They can call themselves the muthafuckin Smites for all I care. To me, they will always be the Chickenshit Heels.
OBJ - Come now, mate. Don't tell me you didn't enjoy working with them? You, FF Capslock, and they did good work together.
Stank - Yeah, well... I don't know how Lock feels about it, but I feel I got a score to settle with them. A score I expect The Midnight Sons to collect on.
Wally - Ah... I hate to be a killjoy and all, but how much longer do you suppose we can afford to remain neutral in this war?
Stank - Oh here WE go. THIS shit again!
OBJ - Man's got a point actually.
Stank - You're kidding me right?
OBJ - No... afraid not.
Stank - ... There is no war. There never really was one. And even IF you really want to believe otherwise... the "war" already has an obvious victor... Bennett. And in that alleged "war", the way I see it, there was only one casualty... Rick. I mean fuck... if I didn't know any better I'd say Rick wanted things to turn out this way. He damn sure didn't do much to stop it. I mean I warned him. I fuckin warned the man. Told him to take a vacation. I even offered, in the interest of helping you guys out actually, I offered to run things while Rick laid low. Hell, I even heard Davin co-sign on that idea and Rick politely refused... then impolitely decidedly got his ass kicked.
Spin - Fuck Rick. He got what he deserved.
Stank - I ain't saying all that.
OBJ - Well you're obviously not pleased with Rick. Which begs the question... why not join Bennett?
Stank - You KNOW the answer to that, Jack.
OBJ - The man did apologize. He was the first to congratulate you on your title defense against Viper. He took care of all those pending lawsuits from bar owners across the U.S and Canada AND he helped get the "Stank's pub" segment up and going.
Stank - I don't trust him.
Spin - And you trust Rick?
Stank - I did trust him. At least more than I trust Bennett.
DHJ - Doesn't matter anyway. Stank's right. This war is over.
OBJ - Tell THAT to the men who aligned themselves with Rick.
<Drink & Destroy sit in silence for a moment, while Wally deals out another hand.>
OBJ - Do you honestly think Davin and Co. are going to just sit by and let this go, quietly?
Stank - For all his faults, the last few weeks, Davin and I have been seeing eye to eye. He seems to be as frustrated with Rick as I am.
Spin - That doesn't sound like neutral talk.
Stank - Us not joining Rick was not an indictment on Rick's character.
Spin - It was for me.
Stank - Well... I don't hate Rick and I have just as many reasons to hate him as you do Spin. Plus Jack and I have known him longer. Rick can be difficult... some would say pigheaded.
OBJ - Shortsighted.
Stank - Unfair.
OBJ - Annoying.
Spin - Wow, I can see why you guys respect him.
Stank - Well that's just it... despite all of that... I do sort of respect him. I mean, it can't be easy running an asylum like the OOWF... I guess what I'm really saying is I respected his willingness to do it.
Spin - Well... now Bennett wants to run the Fed. I can't see how him doing the job is any less than Rick willingness to do so.
Stank - Because Rick ain't a snake like Bennett. Better the devil you know than the one you wish you didn't.
Spin - If you feel so much for Rick why didn't you join him? Why didn't you try to save him from that beating he got?
Stank - For one he brought most of that down on himself and two, honestly Spin... because of you.
Spin - Me?
Stank - I said from the outset. I'm on the side of Drink & Destroy. If I had pushed for us to join Rick... do you honestly think you would have stayed with us?
Spin - ...
Stank - I've already lost one partner. I damn sure won't lose another.
FFM - Stank, you haven't lost me.
Stank - FUCK OFF MeckCAPpingTON!
FFM - Awwwww
Stank - Anyway, none of this matters now. Bennett got his way.
OBJ - But like I've been trying to say. This war has taken on a whole new dynamic.
Stank - Meaning?
OBJ - Crete's back... and he not happy.
Stank - You think he will try to reform the Guild?
Spin - Who would join him?
Stank - Not Davin that's for damn sure. Something else he and I see eye to eye on.
DHM - What about his running buddies?
OBJ - You mean Phantos and Lucios?
Spin - They seem the type.
Stank - Christ almighty...
OBJ - I doubt Davin would approve.
DHM - You mean like how Stank doesn't like the idea of Spin and I joining Bennett?
Stank - Yeah well if Rick had Crete on his side that certainly would have leaned me towards Bennett.
OBJ - Why the past tense, mate? It's as exactly as you say. Crete's definitely on Rick's side in this.
Stank - Only because Moose is on the other.
OBJ - I'm just saying. We may not like Crete but he has a way of galvanizing people to his cause. Plus the fans LOVE him.
Stank - Don't remind me.
OBJ - This war isn't over... not by a longshot.
WBK - Which goes back to my original question... How long can we stay neutral?
Stank - Just DEAL the CARDS, Wally.
DHM - Well now he's got me wondering.
Spin - ...
OBJ - ...
Stank - Oh for fuck's sake.
OBJ - ...
Spin - ...
DHM - ...
Stank - ... I've been loathe to do this... but, I think it's time I had a talk with- hold on second my phone is buzzing... well will you look at that... Erlana wants to see me.
Spin - About what?
Stank - I don't know... I'll be back.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:45:04 GMT -5
<while on the OOWF Flight to Iceland>
<Fire is sitting in her seat after encounter with Bunny trying to meditate herself back to sleep when she feels someone brush by her, without opening her eyes she speaks>
FW: Darling, if you are supposedly running things, how bout telling that freak to stop bothering me on flights, it took all I had not to skin him alive
V: I'll be sure to do that
<Fire's eyes snap open and she turns her head and stares at the person next to her>
FW: Moose. You know Darling will blow a gasket if he sees you here
MHJ: And when did I start giving a shit what Darling thought?
FW: Good point, so what do you want?
MHJ: Little testy tonight aren't we?
FW: I hate flying, and I am craving a cig in the worst fucking way. You writing a book or something?
MHJ: You don't even smoke
FW: What the fuck is your point?
MHJ: Addiction is a bitch
FW: What the hell would you know about addiction?
MHJ: You think I would let myself get carved up like I do if there wasn't something to it?
FW: That makes sense
MHJ: Here <Moose hands Fire a toblerone, Fire attacks it letting the chocolate melt in her mouth> its not nicotine, but its the next best thing
FW: No, Jericho would be the next best thing
MHJ: Yeah kinda hard to smuggle him in the luggage. Anyway, were you down with what Darling did at MADNESS?
FW: They make their own decisions, they barely keep me in the loop about anything
MHJ: Well, Darling is making a lot of enemies in the OOWF. You can only burn so many bridges before you are an island all alone
FW: How zen-like, why should I give a shit who Darling pisses off?
MHJ: Because it directly affects you too. Like it or not, its not just Darling, its you, Alexis and Eric too, all of DEA
FW: We don't need anyone else, we are just fine.
MHJ: Really? Even with Japan coming up?
<Fire snaps her head around and stares at Moose>
FW: What do you know about that?
MHJ: It doesn't matter. Darling is not the only one with connections to Japan. Hell most of the OOWF roster has spent time there. I am sure everyone has heard some version of the truth
FW:<softly> but none of them know the truth
MHJ: Oh, I think there are two people who know the truth
FW: Two? I never told all the details to.........
<Moose just gives Fire a little nod, then gets up from his seat and leaves. Fire closes her eyes and puts her head back in her seat>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:45:29 GMT -5
(CTG is doing the ONE - MAN interview!) Good evening, all. You might remember me as "Concrete" Takaken Gryfon. I was once a wrestler in this league, one who thought he had a bright future under brighter lights on bigger stages. That all changed the morning of March 30, 2008. I received a phone call about 10am - one of many that I had received over the course of the last couple of months from allies here in this company who feared that this War that has erupted would need someone to come back and help. I thought this odd; we have men here with accomplishments greater than I, ,em capable of taking care of this company as they would their closest friends and allies. Strangely, the calls calls kept coming - including one from OOWF General Manager Rick Scaia, himself. He was fearful for his life, and rightly so - he was to be sacrificed in a cage against my greatest rival, Moosehead Jack. Now Moose is not a gentle man; quite the contrary, and I have plenty of scars from him to prove it. Mr. Scaia, on the other hand, is not a part of this company to compete in this manner; and his actual loss within the cage would symbolize the fall of the OOWF as I know it. I had made a promise - if the OOWF ever needed me, that I would come back. These are not only words spoken, but MEANT. Rick reminded me of this Promise and had no choice but to honor my word. Despite my decision, I can tell you that my Journey to the MADNESS PPV was not a smooth one. When you saw me backstage at MADNESS, you might have noticed a few bruises. Moosehead JAck wished he had put them there, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start with the meeting I had shortly after that phone call. It was 11am and I had to report to the Citrus Bowl to, originally, start talking with Triple H and Randy Orton about our match. However, I went straight to Vince McMAhon's office. (with the magic of INVISIBLE NINJA VIDEO, we actually get to see this meeting!) (CTG walks into a well-appointed office, where Vince McMAhon is going over final scripts for the show.) Vince: (looking up over his glasses) can I help you? CTG: Sir, I wouldn't interrupt you if this was not important. I needed to make a request and only you can honor it. Vince: Of course, have a seat. CTG: (seats himself) Mr. McMahon, you have invested a great deal of money and effort to put me where I am today and I can say in no uncertain terms that I am grateful -more than I could ever possibly say. Vince: (nods) thank you, that... that means a lot to me. CTG: unfortunately, I feel that your efforts may turn into something else. I have received a very distressing phone call and I need to leave Orlando today. Vince: Excuse me? CTG: I have an emergency north of here that needs to be taken care of tonight, or a very close friend of mine is dead. Vince: I'm afraid I don't accept storylines this close to the show, Takaken. We have the match set for tonight, and you- CTG: Mr. McMahon, this is not a storyline. I promised someone if he needed me, no matter what, I woud come to his aid. This is that time. Vince: Well, your friend is going to have to wait til at least midnight because you're not allowed to leave. You are in a very important match tonight (Stands) this is a match that is going to launch your career properly! THIS is the match that will give your career the boost that it needs! I've yet to have a superstar tell me anything negative about you, and dammit all, if you give me a reason to be negative about you..... CTG: (voice a little unsteady) this is more important to me, Vince. Vince: good, I was afraid you were going to waste a chance at gold and some very good money. CTG: (Stands) you misunderstand me, Mr. McMahon. For me, it was never about the money. I apply my sense of justice to my character here, but deep down that IS me. There is an injustice that is greater than wrestlemania.... Vince: (face turning purple) THERE IS NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN WRESTLEMANIA! DO YOU HEAR ME?  NOTHING! YOU WALK OUT THAT DOOR AND I SWEAR TO GOD YOU WILL NEVER WORK FOR ME AGAIN! CTG: (Lowers head) Mr. McMahon, there is a life at stake- Vince: YOUR LIFE IS AT STAKE NOW, MISTER! I SO MUCH AS SEE YOU TRY TO SET FOOT IN MY COMPANY FOR ANY REASON SHOULD YOU WALK OUT THAT DOOR I'LL HAVE YOU WORSE THAN ARRESTED! HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK THAT THIS IS SOME SORT OF TWISTED JOKE? HOW DARE YOU! CTG: This isn't a joke, Mr. McMahon. I'm sorry. Vince: SORRY?? YOU WANT TO KNOW THE MEANING OF "SORRY" YYYYYYYYYOOOOOU'RRRRRRRRRRRE FIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRED~!!!!!! (CTG is sent tumbling out the door on the angry edict. Fade to black, then fade back up to the interview) With this I had thrown away a golden opportunity that thousands of wrestlers only dream of getting close. Many would have been satisfied with just walking down that long ramp at Wrestlemania for any reason. Knowing that my work with WWE was over, I began the long lonely walk out of the building, where I only encountered one man. Sadly, that one man, was one of my opponents.... (Again, the the magic of INVISIBLE NINJA VIDEO, we actually get to see this meeting!) (CTG is walking quietly through the hallways of the office building when another man stops him in the hallway) ??: hey hey, whoa, where are you goin? We've got a meeting in ten minutes. CTG: You have a meeting. Orton has a meeting. HHH: You have a meeting too, man - we're gonna draw straws and see who gets to win the belt tonight. I made sure Vince wouldn't make the decision for us, so if you want it....... CTG: (Meets HHH's look) I'm afraid I'm out of the match. Vince has given me his traditional, unconditional release. HHH: What? You got - CTG: Fired. HHH: Why? You have everything here - you've got the tv exposure, you've got huge merch lined up - you've got low momentum so you had a chance of taking that belt off Randy Orton, and then you could feud around til I caught up with you and we'd tear the house down, one-on-one at Summerslam! You can't just get fired! Come on - I'll smooth things out- CTG: (steps back) No, Hunter, you don't understand. HHH: I don't understand why you'd want to get fired on the morning of Wrestlemania. CTG: I have a friend who's in great danger and if I don't leave right now I won't make it in time HHH: (incredulous) "Leave"? oh, no, you're not leaving now. CTG: Watch me (starts walking) HHH: (Fumes, then chases Concrete down and the two brawl out of the building) (Fade back to Concrete) That brawl took some time as well, and security did seperate us. I was escorted to my car and sent on my way. I didn't meet much traffic going to the airport, so it only took me two hours to complete what is a 20 minute drive.... on a Tuesday night at 3am in Orlando. From there I had to spent a couple of thousand dollars to get a ticket out of Orlando, and between the negotiations, the incompetance behind the counter, the lost tine, lost luggage, lost taxi fare, the taxi getting lost, and nearly losing my lunch at the thought of my general manager's life in danger...... here I am. Sadly, it seems that even my most ardent efforts were in vain, as the misrepresentation of Main Event Chris Cole has only made things clearer for me. So to Mr. Bennett I say - I'm sorry, but I didn't sacrifice this much to come back and work for you. To Main Event Chris Cole - your error will cost you dearly. And to Moosehead Jack..... You will wish I ended your career back in December. For while I had to walk away from a grave injustice in WWE..... I came back to the OOWF to right a wrong larger than the wrestling business itself. (CTG gives the camera a look of angry determination as we fade to black) |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:46:00 GMT -5
*OOWF Jumbo Jet*
The plane is high above the Atlantic Ocean as the entire roster is co-mingled on a mandatory flight as they begin their overseas tour. The roster has strict orders of no violence under threat of heavy fines and possible long-term suspensions and this is why you can have guys like MacCappington on a plane with Darling even after the events that transpired at Madness IV. And speaking of Alexander Darling, he’s sitting back in his seat with his BOSE Quiet Comfort 3 Acoustic Noise Canceling Headphones wrapped around his head while listening to his Apple 80-gb video iPod. It looks like he’s trying to get some sleep which is extremely tough when Bunny and Davin Moreland keep screaming stupid shit back and forth.
Alexander Darling: AYO…can you two PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP. Damn, I just want some sleep.
Alexander looks over to his right to say something to his sister and notices she’s not there and Eric is sitting in the window seat with a completely glazed look in his eyes.
Hey Eric…
Eric shakes his head and turns to look at Darling,
Eric O’Mac: What do you want?
Alexander: Hey, I just wanted to apologize again for not being out there to keep an eye on things. I never thought Moreland would be there to help Bunny.
Eric: Well, you should have thought of it. You try to come across as this huge evil-genius or whatever and no clue Davin would want payback after what we did to him? And that’s not even what I’m pissed about really. What the fuck was that deal with MacCappington?
Alexander: I dunno, you going to tell me about everything else you’re hiding?
Eric: Like what?
Alexander: Cole for one. LOADED and Bennett for another.
Eric: Truthfully, no one trusts you yet and no matter how much I fight for ya with them, they don’t want you involved until you’re ready to be fully invested in the war.
Alexander: Eric, it’s not my war. And right now, it’s not a good business decision to make it mine or even The DEA’s war. I see where you’re coming from and I understand what benefits you think we may be able to get from Bennett, but I see things you can’t.
Eric: Like what?
Alexander: You’ll think I’m being paranoid or over-dramatic, but how can you fight on a side with guys like Moose and Cole and even now MacCappington? This is supposed to be your deal, and yet when people think of Bennett’s side you’re so far down the totem pole.
Eric: You just don’t get it. There is no totem pole, there is no pecking order. We’re all on the same level, all fighting for the same goal.
Alexander: And Eric, the entire lot of you can keep spewing that line of bull, but I don’t buy it. Cause even if I give you the benefit of the doubt and will accept there is no current order, let’s say you win this. What happens when it’s over?
Eric: What do you mean?
What I mean is if Bennett wins this and gains control, who do you think is going to benefit the most? I’ll tell ya one thing, it won’t be you.
Eric: And why not? Because I’m not good enough…well fuck you Darling.
Alexander: Eric, shut up for a fucking minute. I wouldn’t have come in here trying to work with you from day one if you weren’t good enough. But you’re too close and you don’t see what’s happening right in front of you. You may be the one who brought Bennett in, but Moose is the face whether that’s what you guys wanted or not. And now Cole is the big missing link. And that’s not even including whatever MacCappington is getting out of the deal. When all is said and done, if and as much as you guys think you have this in the bag already, don’t count out the other side just yet, but if you do win this war, remember that this is a selfish business and your supposed allies right now will step all over you to get what it is they want.
Eric: And I’m supposed to think you won’t do the same.
Alexander: You can think whatever you want Eric. This entire company knows what I am, or at least they all think they do. I’m a conniving son-of-a-bitch who will stop at nothing at getting what I want, but the fact is, I’m 100% up front about that. I wanted to make Moreland suffer some and get the Onslaught title off of him…I did it. I wanted to prove to Bunny that I could use and discard him at any time I wanted to. And then I wanted to prove I didn’t need Fonzie to lay down for me and I did. Eric, besides the shit with Moose, everything I’ve done here is about business. That’s going to change soon, but me and you…we’re business and that’s why you’ll always know where I stand.
Eric: I get…
Eric stops speaking as Alexis arrives at Alexander’s side and Eric stares up at her. Alexander turns to look at her and we can see that Alexis is visibly shaking and trying to hold herself together.
Alexander: Lex…Lexie…Alexis Diane Darling!!!
Alexis is trying to get the words out and she finally takes a deep breath before uttering two words.
Alexis Darling: Black rose…
Alexander is about to jump out of his seat and rush toward Moose who is just finishing his conversation with Firewoman when both Alexis and Eric grab him and push/pull him back into his chair.
Alexis: Alex, please don’t. It’s not worth it. I just want to forget it. I can’t keep doing this to myself and you actually. I’ve got to be stronger than “they” think I am. You can’t keep fighting for me.
Alexander: But Lexie, I’m sick of his games. If he wants to start this again…
Eric: Not this shit again…I’m gonna go fucking talk to him. I told him Alexis was off-limits.
Alexis: Eric, you don’t have to.
Eric: Actually I do.
Eric stands up and heads toward the direction of Bennett’s executive office on the plane. The same direction that Moosehead Jack just went. Alexander is fuming and wants to do something about it, but he knows that this isn’t the time or place for it. Alexis takes her seat next to him and tries to get him to calm down, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. Alexander starts mumbling to himself…
Alexander: MacCappington…destroy…kill…hurt….finish it.
Alexis: Alex, you’re scaring me again. Please don’t tell me you’re going to go on another backstage path of attacks or whatever you called it. Not now at least. Especially with, never mind.
Alexander: Never mind what Lexie?
Alexis: Well, there are three things actually. First, I’ve lined up two potential new interviewers for the first portion of this trip. I’m not sure who’s showing up, but you’ll be extremely please with either. Secondly, the stewardess told me there might be a delay with our bags because they saw something in one of our bags. But it shouldn’t take long, I’ve already called ahead to customs and dropped daddy’s name and we’ll be put right through.
Alexander: We can’t keep dropping his name Lexie. He’s going to catch on and he’ll cut us off again.
Alexis: Stop worrying, I’ve got him wrapped around my finger again.
Alexander: You’re so lucky he hates watching wrestling. If he ever heard you…
Alexis: Well he doesn’t, so stop. And well, the final thing is I set up another meeting with Davin.
Alexander: What the fuck Lexie? I have no idea what you’re planning, but it’ll never work. I hate him, he hates me…that isn’t going to change, but whatever. Keep meeting with him, I don’t care.
Alexis: That’s the thing.
Alexander turns to look at her and grinds out,
Alexander: What’s the thing Alexis?
Alexis: Well you already agreed to it actually, so you only have yourself to blame.
Alexander: ALEXIS…what did I “agree” to exactly?
Alexis: Just that you would kinda, sorta, actually sit down and talk with him.
Alexander: YOU DID WHAT?
Everyone in the plane that can still hear turns to look at Alexander Darling.
There’s nothing to fucking look at here. Turn the fuck around. All of you.
Half the plane gives Darling the finger, while the other half ignores him.
Alexis: Calm down Alexander. Look, I know you don’t like the idea. But I’ve looked at this from all sides and you should at least hear him out. You heard Bennett out face-to-face. The least you can do is the same for Davin?
Alexander: No, what I could do is meet with Rick, but he’s too stupid to fucking realize when people are playing him.
Alexander looks back at Davin who is engrossed in his book while looking over the shoulder of Lucios and starting at a portable DVD player. Then he turns back to his sister a second before Davin looks up and looks at the back of Darlings head and pulls out his cell phone. Alexander takes one look at his sister…
You know, sooner or later that look of yours will stop working on me Lexie. When is this meeting supposed to happen?
Alexis: I’m not exactly…
All of a sudden “Danger Zone” starts to come out from Alexis’ cell phone. Alexander just gives her a ‘wtf’ look. She just shrugs and opens the phone.
Now? Yea, we can do that. How’s now sound brother?
Alexander: Whatever, lets get this over with.
As the Darlings move down the aisle they start to pass the LOADED section of the airplane…
Hey look Lexis…it’s the porn star, the joke, the homo, and the former champ.
Donovan Viper: I’M NOT A HOMO!
Alexander: Then why is Ryan’s dick in your ass?
Viper looks under where he was sitting and notices that Ryan was just relaxing there naked.
Donovan: Still don’t mean I’m a homo. Damn it Ryan, we said to put that away.
F. Fonzworth MacCappington: Would you two shut the fuck up for a minute? So, Darling…you think you got one over on me do ya? Biggest fucking mistake you ever made. We coulda owned this company, but you have to go and think you’re better than everyone. I’m going to prove just how wrong that opinion is this week when I take back my belt.
Alexander: Big talk from a big loser. And since I didn’t get to say it on Sunday.
Alexander gets real close to MacCappington, not quite Flair and HBK levels of close, but close.
BOOYAH, Bitch!
*Fade out as the Darlings get to the Run DLP section*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:46:28 GMT -5
*Davin is grabbing a manila folder labeled simply "DEA" and shuffling things around on the table. Phantos is engrossed in "Clusterbomb Wars" or whatever the hell it's called. Lucios has moved up to the 1982 version of the Flair/Steamboat feud.*
L: Davin, this is easily the best chain wrestling I think I've ever seen. Thanks for recommending it. I really thought wrestling sucked outside of Texas. Let me guess, you were a big Flair fan during this feud.
DM: Actually, no. I'm a huge Steamboat mark.
L: The face-iest babyface that ever babyfaced? Was marked to by the Tweener kinda-Face Davin Moreland?
DM: Yup.
P: There's a lot you don't know about me.
DM: See? It worked that time.
P: Well, I beat this game. I'm bored now. How much longer?
L: A while.
P: *sigh*
DM: Hey, do you guys mind taking a walk for a bit? I have a...meeting.
L: A meeting with who?
DM: *mumbles quietly* darlings...
P: What?
DM: The Darlings. The DEA.
L: Are you out of your cotton-picking mind?
DM: You kiss your mother with that mouth?
L: NOT FUNNY!
P: Davin, why? Why would you even look sideways at those two.
DM: There's something...there. I can't explain it, but I just know there's something we can work with and we can find some common ground. Besides, we need all the help we can get right now with everything that's happened.
P: Well, Crete's back.
DM: Fucking Yay, Phantos. Why the fuck would you call him anyway?
P: He's a good guy. He's a super hero.
DM: He's a damned fraud and an egomaniac. Abandon us for the big money and then come back when our ratings are starting to compete with the WWE. Yeah, he gives a shit about Rick. Whatever Phantos, you want to join Crete's little Heroes Guild of freaks and rejects, be my guest.
L: I've gotta agree with Davin here, Phantos. Crete bailed on all of us. No matter what his intentions now, there's no way I can trust him. Not now, not ever.
P: Let's go get a sandwich then and talk about it.
DM: Ric's up near the front guys.
*Phantos and Lucios pass Alexis and Alexander in the aisle and they stare each other down without a word. Davin sees Alexis come in first and immediately stands up and shakes her hand with the two-hand shake*
DM: Lexie. Good to see you again.
L: You too Davin. Alexander?
*Alexander comes slowly into the room staring daggers into Davin*
DM: Alexander. Thanks for coming.
*Davin offers his hand but Alexander looks at it like Davin's offering him Face AIDS.*
DM: *knocked off his game a bit* Well, have a seat, both of you. Sorry we're a little cramped here for space, but it's the best we can do in the air. Coffee?
L: Sure. Alexander?
*Alexander still says nothing, but has a look on his face like he's swimming in raw sewage*
DM: *shrugs* Curt?
C'TGG'S: Yeah Davin?
DM: Could you get us three coffees? One for me, one for Lexie, and can you bring a black coffee and fixings for Alexander here?
C'TGG'S: Pastries?
DM: Yeah, some of those Dunkin' Donuts Frosted Coffee Rolls?
C'TGG'S: Comin' right up, Davin.
L: So, anyway, thank you of course for seeing us.
*Alexander now stares daggers into his sister*
DM: Of course, Lexie. Anytime. So, you know why you're here?
L: I assume you're going to pitch Rick's position again.
DM: *smiles* Well, of course, but I thought I'd tailor it a bit and fill you in on a few things you didn't know.
L: *pulls a legal pad and pen out of her attache' case* Well? We're listening.
*Alexander stares daggers into Davin now*
DM: Well especially in light of what took place at MADNESS IV, I think it's important that those who are trying to steer clear of the melee should consider both sides of the equation. One thing is for sure, I think it's time to "re-define" what side I represent.
L: Rick's side.
DM: Well, in name, sure; but in light of recent events, I'm not so sure that THAT is the best way to characterize it.
L: Go on.
DM: Rick and I have had obvious disagreements over the last couple weeks, and it's clear his judgment in some areas is lacking.
L: Clearly.
DM: But as I've been saying from the beginning, this is bigger than me, it's bigger than you, it's bigger than Alexander, it's bigger than all of us.
L: So what is it exactly?
DM: It's a shift in the direction of the company. Things will not only be different, they will be VERY different if we're not able to get Bennett out of his office. Card spots and title shots will be determined sheerly on who Bennett favors and who he doesn't. He doesn't care about fans or gate or revenue because if the OOWF folds, he's still got a job. We, the workers are a different story.
A: Let's just suppose for a second you're right. What's to say that after I join Bennett, that I'm not already high enough on the totem pole to get all the title shots I ever want.
DM: But there IS no totem pole with Bennett. Everyone works as one, no person is greater than the other?
A: Bullshit.
DM: I agree. There's no way that's possible. Not in an operation like that. They claim there's no totem pole, but bristle at having to explain how one would get title shots.
L: Davin, why don't you tell my brother how Rick's side gets title shots.
*Curt "The Golden God" Schilling comes back with the Dunkin' Donuts Coffee and Frosted Coffee Rolls*
DM: Thanks Curt. Did you see Moose out there?
C'TGG'S" Yeah, he kept asking me what Ryan Howard was like - he didn't seem to understand I was long gone by then.
*Curt goes back to tend to the plane's coffee service*
DM: Anyway, on the side I represent; we offer card spots and title shots using a novel idea. Performance.
A: Bullshit.
DM: Bullshit? How do you explain that belt around your waist?
A: I explain it by doing what it took to win.
DM: And how did you get that shot?
A: Maybe because I'm good? Ever think of that, asshole?
DM: Sure, and who's running the joint when you got your shot because you're "good"
A: Dude, fuck you. I can't even believe I'm in the same room with you. You and your losers can get the crap kicked out of you for the rest of your life for all I care. I'm doing what's best for me, my sister, and the DEA.
DM: Are you? You realize that the ex-Onslaught Champ in DEA is right at the top of the pecking order after the shit goes down? You wonder why he's not more pissed off about losing the title? He knows that if Bennett gets his way, he doesn't have to deal with the Onslaught belt, he'll get a shot at the World title.
L: Like hell.
DM: My thoughts exactly.
A: I should be mad at you about that, by the way.
DM: After you tapped to a top wristlock? I think you and I are square. And speaking of that. Why was it YOU who tapped? Why was it YOU who pushed Eric into the title? You think Bennett had anything to do with that? LD? Moose?
A: Moose...
DM: Yeah, Moose. You know him, right? I do want to let you in on one thing; I may have been wrong about Moose. I don't think he's as in the loop as I may have originally though.
L: I've been wondering that myself Alex.
DM: So you're seeing what I'm seeing Lexie?
L: That The Dead has more pull than Moose? Yeah.
A: I can't stand that dude.
DM: Me either. I love how he tries to feud with me.
L: It is funny.
A: We're getting off topic here. It's all well and good about the work itself and how we work there; but you know and I know there's a lot more at stake than looking good in the ring.
DM: Well, while you and I probably think the percentages are different, you're probably right.
L: So, what are we looking at here? Adverts? Endorsements? Other revenue streams?
DM: Well, the short answer is yes, yes and yes. The more detailed version is, before I even thought about forming DLP, I contacted an agent to get me some endorsement deals. Well, they were so successful that we ended up incorporating DLP and forming a consortium whose only job is to gather as many revenue streams as possible for the DLP brand. As a full 51% shareholder, it's my decision and mine alone as to which streams get allocated where. I remember way back when DLP formed, and we were trying to think of a beverage deal for Phantos and Lucios. We decided on Aquafina, the consortium contacted PepsiCo and the rest is history.
A: But you're a shill.
DM: I'm not a damned shill.
A: You are.
DM: Bullshit. What do I do? Name drop? Use a product I would use anyway? It's not like I'm endorsing Vince McMahon Ass Cream. That's not how it works. They don't pick us. We've proven enough via the consortium to be profitable enough to the companies we approach that they practically fall all over themselves to work with us.
A: So?
DM: So? So look at the OOWF now, and look at it a year and a half ago. 18 months ago, this place was in financial ruin.
A: Due to Rick.
DM: Maybe. But the fact is, the OOWF is a major player in the marketplace now thanks to the consortium.
A: So basically, you bailed Rick out.
DM: I helped the place that helped me. Hell, the customized plane we're on now is sponsored by PepsiCo. Otherwise, we're probably swimming to Iceland.
L: You think that we can work some bigger cities at some point?
DM: Well, we've got a couple of decent-sized ones on this tour, and it's certainly something that I've been lobbying for hard. I mean, town to town, place to place, I'm going to be fine. My concern is for the rookie or the jobber that doesn't have that luxury.
A: Aren't you magnanimous? You're full of shit, that's what I think. There's no way you aren't in this for yourself.
DM: Of COURSE I'm in this for myself, moron.
A: What?
L: Stop it you two.
A: He started it.
DM: Are you serious right now?
L: Davin, please.
*She stares at Davin*
DM: Fine. To answer your question, Alexander; of course I'm in this for myself - I'm not a saint. But there's only so much money I can spend. Unlike you guys, I was raised kind of modestly. I'm not used to disposable income or that stuff. I bought my Mom a house, I bought myself a couple of nice houses, a decent car, and after that, it pretty much goes in the bank.
A: You're kidding.
DM: You forget about the sponsorship. Everything you'd normally pay for, electronics, furniture, hotel rooms, hell, even the hot tub, that was all provided by sponsors for nothing. So I have a shitload of money that I'll never do anything with, so I try to help other people out. Least I can do. That's how I got you away from Cori, jerl.
*Alexander smirks*
L: Who's Cori.
DM: Girl I used to date. You may know her as Alexander's masseuse.
*Alexis glares at Alexander*
A: Whatever.
DM: Yes, whatever. At least her school's paid for. Anyway, bottom line is, you help us with Rick? I'll see what I can do about helping you out.
A: Like we need money. Do you know who we are?
DM: Yes. I know who you are. You wouldn't have asked if it wasn't an issue.
A: Fuck you.
L: Davin, don't.
DM: *sighs* Ok, final thing I think you might be interested in; we're going to Japan on this trip...
A: You can get us out of it?
DM: My hands are tied. Trust me, I tried. Rick, Bennett, the Booking Committee, they all said absolutely not.
A: Then what the fuck good are you?
DM: You have no idea I worked in Japan, do you?
A: No you didn't.
DM: Sure I did. I did a year with DragonGate back in 03-04.
L: You weren't...
DM: Nasty Monster Awful? Yeah, that was me.
A: Geez...
L: Yeah...
A: So that means...
DM: That's what it means.
A: God damn it.
L: Listen, Alex. Why don't you grab us lunch, and I'll catch up.
A: *stands up* You agree to NOTHING! Got it?
L: Got it. See you in a bit.
*Alexander leaves (not quite STORMS~! but leaves in an unhappy way)*
L: Sorry about that.
DM: No apologies necessary, Lexie. That went MUCH better than I thought.
L: Listen, about the adverts...
DM: Whether you choose to side with us or not, as a token of my good faith, I'll toss you guys 1 advert spot. Just think about what you guys want to go, I'll get in touch with the consortium, and we could have something ready by tomorrow if you want.
L: Really?
DM: Only cause it's you. And you've been so good through all this.
L: Surprisingly? You too. And the Japan stuff?
DM: Check it out. It's all out there if you want to connect the dots. I know WHAT happened, I know when it happened, I just don't know WHY it happened, although I have a pretty good idea. You and Poe...
L: I...I really don't think I can talk about it...I don't know if I can ever talk about it...
DM: Yeah, that's cool. No problem. Just check out my time in DragonGate. That should really answer a lot of questions you might need answered. I can help. And Lexie...I want to help.
*Alexis looks at Davin for a second*
L: I should go.
DM: Yeah, you probably should before your brother pops a blood vessel.
*They both laugh and stand up and shake hands*
DM: Listen, no matter what you guys decide, Japan is Japan. I can help.
*Alexis puts her hand on Davin's shoulder*
L: Thanks.
*She leaves*
DM: Curt, you got any booze back there?
C'TGG'S: Just my stash.
DM: That'll do.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:46:51 GMT -5
<The Invisible Ninja Cameraman follows Eric O'Mac to the back of the plane where Moose is getting something from a vending machine>
EOM: This has got to stop Moose
MHJ: I know, but dammit if these munchos are not tasty as hell
EOM: DAMMIT MOOSE! That's not what I'm talking about! This shit with Alexis! It has to stop! She is off limits!
MHJ: Jesus Christ, this again Eric?
EOM: For the greater good Moose.....
MHJ: Oh for fucks sake Eric, there IS no greater good with those Darling idiots. Look, first of all, you assume I am the one sending shit to Lexie. Well its not me. But I am enjoying the hell out of watching her turn into an emotional wreck every time the Boogie Man gives her a gift. Second, what the hell are you doing with the Darlings anyway Eric?
EOM: There's strength in numbers and.....
MHJ: Cut the bullshit Eric. The strength in numbers lies with Bennett and the rest of us. Darling has managed to piss off the majority of the locker room. I'll tell you the same thing I told Fire, get out while you can, because if you stay with Darling, you are going to end up fighting both sides of this.
EOM: Are you questioning that I am with Bennett? I am the one who started it all!
MHJ: I know. And now that we have Rick on the ropes, you need to be here to finish it, not off playing slapdick with Darling and making sure him and his sisters feelings aren't being hurt. Fuck them, and fuck their feelings Eric. You have the chance to do something great in the OOWF, you have a chance to step up and be a leader. I know the guys on Bennett's side, they are hyped, they are ready to go to war. You have the chance to step up and lead, to set yourself apart from the rest. You pass that up now and I guarantee you Cole will take it, and you will fade into the background. Darling really fucked up by swerving LOADED, he had a chance to unite two factions as one under Bennett's banner, but instead, he had to be stupid about things, and now, all he's done is made more enemies with LOADED, and turned a lot more guys already with Bennett against him.
EOM: Like you?
MHJ: No Eric, not like me, I never trusted that little shit from day one. No one trusts Darling, no one wants to work with him, and as long as you are trying to play both sides of the fence, they are going to feel the same about you. If you are not careful, you are going to get lumped in with him. Think about it.
<Moose grabs his snack and walks off leaving a hollow eyed Eric O'Mac staring blankly into space>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:47:13 GMT -5
[The Dead is walking through the plane and just happens to catch the last of the talk between Moosehead Jack and Eric O'Mac.]
Dead: He's right, you know...
EOM: Now is not the fucking time.
Dead: Look, you and The Dead have had a fair share of run ins. It's just the nature of this business. Thing is, if you keep playing this game you're going to have runs ins with every damn person on this plane. Darling has changed sides every other day. Do you really want to be associated with that?
EOM: Look...
[The Dead just walks away, leaving Eric to think. Eventually The Dead makes his way back to his seat and slides past a near passed out Firewoman who is still playing with her lighter.]
Dead: We need to have a talk later.
[The Dead sits down in his seat and decides to call El Muerte to see how his flight is going. Since Muerte isn't an official part of the OOWF there are no ninja camermen following his every move, so we only get the Dead's side of the conversation.]
Dead: How's the flight...?
Dead: Really? Cows? On the runway?
Dead: You didn't...
Dead: No, there's no way you...
Dead: Ahh fuck, you did, didn't you?
Dead: How much is it going to cost?
Dead: Fine, so where are you?
Dead: What do you mean, the plane is lost?
Dead: So, you're essentially in a cardboard box with wings?
Dead: Ok, so after you left Canada where were you headed?
Dead: Greenland? So, eventually you'll be in Iceland, right?
Dead: ...Once you find the pilot?!?
Dead: Fine. Just get here.
[The Dead hangs up the phone.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:47:36 GMT -5
***LOADED is in their private cabin on the Jumbo Jet**
FFM: Ok guys. We've got to begin our new strategy. MADNESS was a big hit for us. I lost my Intercontinental title, you, Donnie, you lost your last chance at Stank's World Heavyweight title. Eco, Ryan... I don't really know what you two do anymore, but anyways. During this international tour, we rebuild.
DV: And how do you suppose we do that? Unless someone beats Stank, I have no shot at the gold anymore. And if I can't beat him... well...
FFM: I can beat him. Hmm.. perhaps I should try giving that a shot... Anyhow. How we rebuild? Well, that's why we ended up aligning ourselves with Bennett. He's the future of this company. He's our contigency plan.
DV: For what?
FFM: For championship gold!
DV: I don't know if you've been paying attention, but before Sunday night, you had championship gold, and I had another shot at it. It's not like we weren't getting our shots with Rick.
FFM: Donnie. Are you with the team? You said you were with LOADED
DV: I am with LOADED, but even moreso, I am with myself.
FFM: If you're so skeptical, then why did you come out and join us in the beat down on Rick?
DV: Fonz, I've been wanting to do that for years. I didn't need us joining Bennett as a reason. And hey, I just lost my last chance at the title. I needed a punching bag. God, that was so satisfying!
FFM: So about this war...
DV: As Stank just said, what war? There are like 3 people on Rick's side, a bunch of people on Bennett's side, and a bunch of people just waiting this out.
FFM: And what side are you on?
DV: I'm on the side that will win.
FFM: Bennett's side.
DV: Looks like that's the case...
FFM: Well, then, that's good news. JEEVES! CHAMPAGNE!
Lance: They have stewardesses, sir.
FFM: I don't want their filthy hands over my champagne glass. Only you know how to pour it so, with your wonderful hands.
Lance: Yes, sir...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:48:02 GMT -5
<Stank makes his way down the aisle of the plane. He catches the eye of LD Williams along the way who just points at Stank and mouths the words "You're mine." Stank continues down the aisle and spies Donovan Viper who leaves his seat and heads toward the rest room accompanied by the rest of L.O.A.D.E.D. Viper poses at the rest room door, then enters as the others return to their seats. Moving right along, Stank arrives at the spiral staircase and descends down to the second level. A number of OOWF superstars glance up from their seats as the OOWF Champion arrives at Erlana's suite and knocks.> E - Come in. <Stank enters the surprisingly spacious office suite and grabs a seat.> Stank - You wanted to see me? E - Yes... I need your help. Stank - What is it, sweety? E - Don't... don't do that. Stank - Do what Lana? E - Act all affectionate towards me. You lost that right years ago. Stank - Fine. How can I help you Miss Lana. E - *Ahem* Davin tells me that you once offered to serve as GM in Rick's place awhile back. Stank - It was just a thought. I can't say it was a serious one. E - So you didn't mean it. Stank - No, I wouldn't say THAT, it's just... E - So given the opportunity, you would take the job, yes? Stank - There's a lot to consider. E - It's a simple question, Lucas. Yes or no? Stank - It's NOT a simple question. E - Yes it is. Stank - No it's NOT. There are other factors involved. E - Tell me. Stank - What? E - Tell me what these other factors are. Stank - You really want me to hash this out right now? E- Damn it Lucas! You haven't changed ONE BIT! When it comes right down to what is IMPORTANT... when a decision HAS to be made, you CHOKE! Stank - ExCUSE me? E - Just go. Stank - Wait a minute. Are you referring to the OOWF or are you referring to US? E - BOTH! ... no scratch THAT! I'm talking about the OOWF right, now! There is no US! Stank - You think it's MY fault things turned out the way they did? E - Number 5 left you... I wanted things to be different! Stank - What... no I'm talking about what happened to Rick. E - Oh... yes... of course, no that wasn't your fault. Stank - Wait, do you want to talk about us? E - NO! I mean I did... but it's way too late in the game for that now. Stank - ... E - ... Stank - ... If Rick ever found out... E - He doesn't know. Stank - ... E - ... Do you want the job or not? Stank - Do you have the power to give me that job? E - ... Rick has handed the reins over to me. So, yes I can make it happen. Temporarily of course. Stank - ... You know, I never thought anything would ever come of the idea. I was just messing around. E - Like with me. Stank - ... I guess I deserve that... still, I have to decline. E - Of course you do. Stank - No it's not like that. You see, when it comes to Rick and Bennett, it's pretty clear cut as far as I'm concerned, who side I will take. But then when we break it down to the soldiers in this war things become a lot more complicated. I have a stake in all sides of this issue. It just doesn't make sense... from my perspective to commit either way. E - How about if you don't take the job, the next guy I reach out to is Crete. Stank - You wouldn't E - I would. Stank - ... That's a shrewd move. E - ... Stank - I'm kind of hot for you right now. E - Lucas! Stank - Nice try Lana, but if you were to offer Crete the GM position... You'd lose some key allies. E - And you think I don't lose them by hiring you? Stank - Not nearly as many as you would with the caped crusader. E - I give up. Stank - No, don't do that. I really think you should just consider staying on as GM. E - What? Stank - I think you're better at this than you give yourself credit. E - I've only had the job for half a day. How would you know? Stank - Well I know you... you're capable. You're not just another pretty face. E - Well golly gee wilikers Lucas. Is this the part where I'm supposed to fawn all over you and coo? Stank - I'm serious, Lana. <Erlana plops her head down on her desk, then she says halfheartedly...> E - I hate you. <As Erlana continues to rest her head face down on her desk, Stank stares at the top of her head. She looks up and they lock eyes for moment.> Stank - It's nice to be able to talk to you. E - Oh God, just go. <Stank rises from his seat. He turns to leave pausing at the door.> Stank - Look, I'm sorry if I hurt you. It was a long time ago. We were both going through a rough time back then and... I don't regret what happened those nights... well... it was fun. But, you knew it couldn't last. E - You're still here? Stank - For the record... It's not that I didn't want to... I wanted to, BELIEVE me. It just... E - You don't owe me an explanation Lucas. Stank - No I just want you to know I wasn't rejecting you... I was... protecting you. E - You mean you were protecting you... Look, I don't want to talk about this... not anymore. Stank - ... E - If you really want to protect me, then take this job. Because my being in this situation is actually putting me in harms way. Stank - What are you talking about? Davin wouldn't let anything happen to you. E - Like he didn't let anything happen to Rick? Stank - Hey, Rick brought that down on himself. E - Do you really think that? Stank - I do. E - Then there's nothing further to discuss. |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jul 31, 2008 13:52:52 GMT -5
FADE INTO THE ER AT THE ISAFJORDHUR HOSPITAL
EMT workers burst in with Skurge strapped to a gurney with SYB and The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth at his side.
Doctor: (in broken English) OK what we have here?
DM: I don't know doctor, we were out and about celebrating a big win and he just fainted.
SYB: Aboot.
Doctor: Sir please no monkey business, yes? (to DM) Continue yes?
DM: My boys won a big match and we started drinking. I opened a bottle of champagne and he collapsed.
SYB: Hoser can't hold his liquor. He fell after sniffing the bottle, eh?
Doctor: He is Joo yes?
SYB nods.
Doctor: That explain it. Joo is weak and cannot drink.
Skurge is slowly coming to.
Skurge: Great Odin's raven, what happened?
SYB: You passed oot.
Skurge: But I-I-I didn't drink anything. I haven't touched a drop since the Manischewitz at my bar mitzvah.
Doctor: You have Joo liver, yes? You are lightweight. No more drinking.
SYB: No more drinking? Good thing you're not Canadian, Solly. We come oot of the womb with a case of Labatts, eh?
Skurge: (to DM) Now it's coming back. You paid a visit to Moose, right?
DM: I did... and I told MooseheadJack off.
Skurge & SYB: Heh heh heh heh heh.
DM: (rolls her eyes) Is he going to be OK, Doctor? We have a match tomorrow.
Doctor: He will be good, yes? He will still be Joo though.
Skurge: (mutters) Eat a goat cock.
SYB: Beauty, he'll be fine.
DM: Whew. Let's give him time to rest, Skurge. We still have another bottle...
SYB: That's what I'm talking aboot!
*FADE OUT*
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NOTHING! YOU WALK OUT THAT DOOR AND I SWEAR TO GOD YOU WILL NEVER WORK FOR ME AGAIN!