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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 13, 2008 17:33:47 GMT -5
OOWF Midweek Mayhem Live! From Springfield, New Hampshire
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u] Davin Moreland vs. Stank
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u] Firewoman vs. Spin Hansen
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u] Phantos & Lucios vs. Fear Us
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u] Chris Cole vs. Seamus McNasty
Alexander Darling vs. DH Magnusson Tyson Kincaid vs. Moosehead Jack Gods & Monsters vs. Bryce Larson & Nayr IHOP vs. The Chicksnshit Heels Damon Wrath vs. Concrete TG SYB vs. Alexis Darling
Card subject to Congressional Bailout
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:16:02 GMT -5
Neil Patrick Harris walks up to Poe’s locker room. He seems apprehensive. He gives the signal of the cross and knocks before gently opening the door. Seated on a box or something in the center of a ring of candles is Poe. Selena is standing behind him, holding an icepack on his neck as he moves his head in slow circles to work out the kinks.
NPH: …Hey…Big Man…got a sec?
Poe says nothing while Selena sticks her tongue out at Harris.
NPH: I just wanted to see how you were. You took a pretty mean Darling Driver Diamond Cutter out there.
SG: Really? Why do you keep coming back here? You're like one of those puppies that keeps coming back begging for food.
Poe holds up his hand to quiet Selena.
Poe: You know, it’s truly a dark day when I failed to notice the Boy. He got one over on me.
Poe breathes deeply, obviously resisting the urge to break something…or someone.
Poe: I think Davin may have been right. Gods & Monsters…
Poe shakes his head with a slight snort.
NPH: Um, the match listing for next week has been posted. You and Tytan are facing Nayr and Bryce Larson.
Poe is quiet. He seems to be soaking it in. A wicked grin then comes across his face. He begins to laugh. The laugh then turns maniacal. This startles Harris and he bolts out the door. Even Selena starts to back away from her Master.
Poe then stops laughing and looks at Selena. He motions for her to come over to him, which she does obediently. He grabs her around the waist and sits her on his lap.
SG: Master?
Poe: My darling goddess. I think it is time to be reborn.
SG: Does this involve blood?
Poe: Of course.
SG: …Awesome!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:16:38 GMT -5
<Bryce Larson & Nayr return to the lockerroom after their latest tag team victory, both tired and worn out from their 30-minute tag team classic.>
N: I can't believe we did it again! We pulled out a great victory.
BL: Yeah...yeah, we won. Great.
N: Listen buddy, I busted me ass out there to finish that match off, and got the win for us.
BL: Buddy? Do you have any social skills at all?
N: ....
BL: Didn't think so. Don't you get it? If we keep winning, we keep teaming. How can I win the big gold if I'm stuck in a tag team.
N: In case you didn't notice, we're pretty damn good together. I think we could win some tag team gold if we play our cards right and work our way up as a team.
BL: Tag team gold? What'll they call us? The Superstar & The Midget? Stop dreaming.
N: How many times do I have to tell you, I'm technically not a midget!
<GM The Rick enters the room and takes over.>
GMTR: Technically, he's right. He's damn short, but he's right.
BL: Hey, what's with all these tag team matches? I'm the King of the Indies!
GMTR: Listen fucktard, I'm growing tired of telling you this. This ain't the indies, kid. This is the big time, the major leagues. You take whatever shot you get, and you make the most of it. Nayr, you've impressed me during your tag team run.
BL: We've impressed you?
GMTR: I said Nayr impresed me. Attitude goes a long way, kid.
<GMTR Pulls out his cell phone and starts to call someone as he leaves.>
GMTR: Erin? Hey, it's GM The Rick. The Rick? You remember me, right? No...
<GMTR leaves the room.>
BL: "I said Nayr impressed me"? What the fuck does that mean.
N: It means he likes me better?
BL: Shut-up, midget.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:17:22 GMT -5
We’re at a rocky beach along New Hampshire’s thirteen miles of coastline. Selena and Poe stand on the coastline and look out into the Atlantic. SG: You sure about this? Poe: Are you? Selena says nothing, but merely smiles, taking Poe’s hand. She holds up a large knife. SG: Goddess Ran, my Master offers you his blood in return for your powers. Selena takes the knife and cuts two small cuts in the palms of Poe’s hands. Once they begin bleeding, Poe walks into the Atlantic and kneels into the water, lowering his hands under the surface. You can see a bit of pain on Poe’s face as the salt water washes into the wounds. Selena then wades into the water. SG: Holy crap this water is cold! Selena wades in front of Poe. She dips her hands into the water, cupping them and then rising and offering Poe to drink. Poe: As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer and I’ll beg for forgiveness. Poe then drinks from Selena’s hands. After he drinks he stares at Selena. Selena returns the stare and then smiles. She takes the knife and then cuts a small cut in her own palm, and then the other. Poe finally raises his hands out of the water and holds them before Selena. She places her palms into Poe’s larger palms and they interlock fingers. Selena smarts a bit from the sting of the salt water. SG: And I, before the goddess Ran, offer you my undying loyalty, and I offer you the purest blood, a virgin’s blood. Poe: Light, like the flutter of wings, feel your hollow voice rushing into me as your longing to sing. I will lift up your voice as I sink. Your sins into me, oh my beautiful one. Selena removes her hands from Poe. She takes a bit of her blood and smears it down Poe’s nose and across his forehead. SG: It is silver and silent. It is silver and cold. I will paint you in silver. I will wrap you in cold. Selena then wades backwards. She holds out her arms and breathes the ocean air in deeply as she shivers from the cold. Her eyes then pop open as she looks at Poe. SG: The goddess Ran demands a sacrifice. Poe: What does the goddess wish? Selena smiles and wades quickly back to Poe. She then whispers in his ear. Poe: Ah, the fun kind. Poe takes Selena by the waist and sits her on his knee. Poe: I guess we’re going into town. Selena smiles. Poe takes some of his blood from his palm and smears it under her eyes, drawing a laugh from Selena. SG: I’m freezing, can we go now? (OOC: Special thanks to song lyrics from AFI’s “Silver and Cold”)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:18:18 GMT -5
*Fade in to the palatial IHOP locker room, where IHOP is celebrating yet another successful defense of their Campeonas de Trios titles. SYB doesn’t appear to be having as much fun as the rest of the team…
Skurge: What’s up, jooboy? You’re not even drinking your hard lemonade. That’s not like you. Or is that your second and you’ve just slowed down? SYB: … Amn: What’s the deal, partner? You look pissed. And according to the transcript of last night’s match, you felt ignored for some reason. What gives? SYB: I am pissed. I do feel ignored. Skurge: Ignored? What the fuck are you talking aboot? In the past two weeks, your ass has been both dead and incarcerated. SYB: Yeah, so? Skurge: If you remember, Dorothy and I built robots and defeated the Grim Reaper to bring you back from the dead, then The Amnesiac put in a ton of work to get you a lawyer to get you out of jail. If anything, the past couple of weeks have been entirely aboot you. Ignored is the last thing you should be feeling. SYB: Oh yeah? What should I be feeling then, tough guy? Skurge: Well, you could start with gratitude for us saving your ass, then move on to happiness that we retained our Chimpionships last night, then maybe a touch of pride that you got the pin for us. How’s that, eh? SYB: Huh. I hadn’t thought of it like that. Thanks. I was being an emo douche. Skurge & Amn: You suuure were. Amn: Okay, now that that’s settled, who’s up for some Rock Band before we start getting ready to fight the Chickensuit Heels? SYB: Chickensuit Heels? That’s not a very good name. Amn: I didn’t think so at first either, but if you think about it, a chicken’s heel has a claw on it, so it’s pretty pointy. Enlarge that to a human-sized chicken suit, and it could be dangerous. SYB: Good point. But when did they get a third member? Skurge: Uh, they didn’t, actually. SYB: So it’s a handicap match? I like those odds! Amn: Actually, Solly, Skurge and I will be facing the Chickensuit Heels. You’ve got a singles match against one of the Darlings. SYB: Which one? Amn: Does it matter? SYB: Not really, since either way I’m facing a whiny bitch with a gaping vagina. Anyway, why do we keep getting split up into separate matches? This is bullshit. Skurge: Well, we are the only three-man unit in the company. It’s not like management can just keep throwing made up teams at us every week. Amn: So like I was saying, Rock Band, anyone? Skurge: I’m in, eh? SYB: Let’s do this.
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:18:57 GMT -5
Firewoman is sitting in the RunDEA Suites sponsored by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels. She tosses a bloody towel into the pile of sweaty and bloody ringwear, and grabs another one to dab at the flow of blood coming out of her nose, that has slowed, but not come remotely close to stopping.
FW: Not as bad as I thought it would be.
Lucky: You sound disappointed.
FW: Maybe a little.
Alexander Darling comes walking up behind them
AD: Well, you shouldn't be. You've had quite the eventful week.
Firewoman jumps and spins around in case she needs to defend herself, then sees it's Alexander, and relaxes, with irritation. Alexander laughs.
FW: Do not come up behind me like that when--
AD: When you're in full on fire-bug mode? Yeah, yeah. You missed, by the way.
FW: I'm a little rusty.
AD: Been a long time since--
FW: Was there something you wanted specifically? 'Cos if not I've got sweet sweet Lady Codeine waiting for me...[she holds an icepack to her nose.]
AD: Two things. If I had known everything my credit card was going to buy, I would have never given it to you.
FW: Well, yeah, that's why I didn't tell you. Or Alexis.
AD: I'm sure she'll have a thing or two to say about that, too. The point is, I'm supposed to have your back in things like this, since I have so much more experience at it than Davin does--
FW: Very funny. And did you really want your hands dirty with this?
AD: The second thing is...I noticed on the list for next week Moose is against Tyson.
FW: Yep.
AD: You need to stay far away from that.
FW: And miss out on those two killing each other? Not a chance. I'm thinking about getting a ringside seat.
AD: Don't. You have a rematch with Spin and that should be your focus. Thirdly....
FW: You said only two things.
Alexander shoots her a look and shoves a prescription bottle into her hand.
AD: A present from Sam.
Firewoman looks down at the bottle, and looks up at Alexander with a tad more irritation than she already has.
AD: It's for anger manag--
FW: I know what it's for. Not interested. Meditation has been just fine.
AD: Really? Cos they're towing away a burned out limo right now that might disagree with you.
FW: Exploding limos are a time-honored tradition in wrestling. No promotion worth taking seriously doesn't have a random limo explosion every couple of years.
AD: Random?
FW: Look, this is not up for discussion with you. You're my partner, not my manager, not my boyfr--
AD: Hm...Now there's a thought....I wonder what he'd have to say...
FW: You wouldn't.....
AD: In a heart beat.
FW:......
AD:......
The phone rings, and Lucky, relieved to have something to do besides witness this, goes to answer it. Firewoman continues to stare daggers into Alexander, who merely smirks back, as he finally has the advantage.
FW:.....
AD:........
Lucky: Um.....uh.......Fire?
FW: What.
Lucky: That was Erlana. GM the Rick wants to see you in his office, as soon as possible.
FW: Fine. [to Alexander]. We are not done discussing this.
AD: Yes, we are. You have a meeting to get to.
Firewoman glares at him and slams out the door. Outside in the hallway, she tosses the bottle into a trashcan, and heads towards Rick's office.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:20:01 GMT -5
As the game of Rock Band begins, The Amnesiac is sitting on drums, SYB on lead guitar, and Skurge on bass. Fezzik has the microphone. They putter their way through 'One Way or Another', and suddenly, the screen goes blank.
Fezzik: What? What's going on, guys?
Skurge: I have no earthly idea. Solly, go bang the PS3. Maybe the disc skipped.
Now, on the screen, we see a panda bear wearing a cowboy hat.
AMN: What in the blue fuck is that?
Fezzik: Ooh, I know this... I watch it all the time! It's Gorgeous Tiny Machine Show! I think I accidentally hit the internet button. Sorry, guys.
SYB: The who what where now?
On the screen, the panda bear in the cowboy hat is joined by a young looking Asian woman, who identfies herself as Kiko.
Kiko: Welcome to Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show, starring your host, Kiko! THAT'S ME!
The girl and panda are now joined by a man in a cow costume.
Kiko: Today, we have very special guests. Prease crap hands and cheering for Shitting Chicken Heel!
Some goofy music starts playing, as Attitude Adjuster and Johnny Adrenaline come on camera. They both look confused.
AA: Thank you, Kiko. That's actually uh Chickenshit Heels.
K: Oh. OK.
AA and Johnny stand around, awkwardly. Kiko just stands there looking at them.
AA: Aren't you supposed to ask us some questions or something?
K: Oh. OK.
AA: What the hell?
JA: I booked us on this show, because I *LOVE* Kiko.
AA: SHUT THE FUCK UP, JOHNNY! Now... Ms. Kiko. It's nice to meet you, but I'm here for a serious-
K: It's time for the Wheel of Fun!
AA: But I-
K: Come come! Spin the Wheel of Fun!
AA looks concerned, but allows himself to be led over to a wheel on the wall. The wheel has a chicken on it.
K: Spin! Spin!
Spin Hansen sticks his head in through a set of curtains.
SH: Did someone call for me?
K, AA & JA: NO!
SH: Fine. You don't have to be rude about it.
Spin disappears. AA reluctantly spins the 'Wheel of Fun'. Kiko immediately starts singing LOUDLY.
K: Wheel of fun, spinning round. Spin around the wheel of fun! Spin the wheel! Wheel of fun, it goes round and round! YEAH!
The wheel comes to stop on a random Japanese kanji symbol. Kiko goes insane.
K: It's time to put on masks!
Kiko starts handing out Rey Mysterio-styled lucha masks. AA and JA take them, confused. The panda and cow take masks and immediately put them on. Kiko puts hers on as well.
AA: Ahh, finally, we're getting somewhere. You're going to ask me about my stint with the luchadores in Mexico, right?
Kiko: Oh, OK.
JA: I never learned any lucha libre style wrestling.
K: Put on masks! Put them on! Can you uh smell the freshness?
AA: Uh, what?
K: Yes, me too!
AA: Listen here, you little Asian bimbo, I've had about enough of your Japanese game show weirdness!
K: It time to sing song now! Sing with Kiko!
AA: WHAT?!
K: Sing a song about love. Love is fishing with cheese. We don't have a t-shirt. There is a wolverine in my pants.
Sing sing sing sing! PEACE!
Attitude Adjuster just stands there, completely befuddled. JA stares at Kiko, uncomfortably. Kiko just smiles.
K: Well that's all the time we having on Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show. Thank you to Shitting Chicken Heel for stopping by. But don't being sad, because we see you soon!
AA looks like he's ready to punch someone as the credits roll. JA leans in to whisper something to him.
AA: SHUT THE FUCK UP, JOHNNY!
The camera pans back out to IHOP on the floor, laughing their heads off. Finally everyone calms down a bit.
SYB: Oh my god, I've never seen anything that stupid.
Fezzik: Oh, I love that show. It's so great! I can't believe Johnny got them on!
Skurge: Well... more Rock Band, people?
The gang goes back to playing.
*FADE TO BLACK*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:20:58 GMT -5
<SFJ13 corners Moose backstage>
SFJ13: Moose!
MHJ: WHAT?
SFJ13: DON'T YOU YELL AT ME!
MHJ: Excuse me?
SFJ13: You think it is easy being a Sexy Female Journalist and putting up with your shit? Are you going to answer my question or not? Cause if not? Get bent!
MHJ:<smirking> What do you want?
SFJ13:<completely switching from bitch mode to SFJ mode> You recently lost to Firewoman, and quite honestly have looked like shit since Hell on Earth, what is going on?
<Moose shoots another look at the SFJ>
MHJ: A war is never won with a single shot......
SFJ13: Well sometimes a war is won without a single shot being fired. Napoleon overthrew the French government without a single shot being fired
MHJ: Well what I meant was.....
SFJ13:L And in 1889 Brazil became a Republic after a bloodless coup
MHJ: But in THIS situation....
SFJ13: A modern example is Alberto Fujimori in Peru, who, though elected, in 1992 assumed control of legislative and the judicial branches of government, installing himself as an authoritarian ruler.
MHJ: What?
SFJ13: So CLEARLY, a victory CAN be won without even a single shot being fired.
MHJ: LOOK! My point was that this was just the first battle of many to come! It is a war of attrition.....
SFJ13: Like World War I? Where the waste of human life was appalling? Why would you intentionally set yourself up for that kind of war?
MHJ: I'm not, its not an inten.....
SFJ13: I mean, it seems to me that you would want to go the route of the Anglo-Zanzibar war between the United Kingdom and Zanzibar in 1896, the whole war lasted 40 minutes. Wouldn't that make more sense?
MHJ: Well, I mean in terms of practicality I suppose.....
SFJ13: Yes or No!
<Moose snarls and grabs SFJ13 and HEARTPUNCHES her, she staggers and Moose kicks her and DRILLS her with a DDT on the floor. Moose gets to his feet, looks down at the SFJ, then looks at the camera>
MHJ: Fire, that was just a preview. I have been doing some thinking, and I have decided that it has been too long since I held a title. Since I know you are not going after Phantos and Lucios, it looks like our days as a team are a thing of the past.......at least for now. I could go after Cole, but he is doing just fine with the Onslaught division. Looks like that leaves two targets. Fire, and Davin. Now, Davin is about to get his ass handed to him by Stank, Poe, Magnusson, and everyone else he has managed to piss off over the last few months, so Fire, it looks like that just leaves you.
It's nothing personal, its just the way it has to be.
Trust me
<thanks wiki>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:21:34 GMT -5
(Jonathan Steele makes his way to the ring to a mixed reaction. He grabs a mic and waits for the crowd to die down before he begins to speak.)
JS: Thank you. This will only take a moment of everyones time and this message goes out to those in the back. Especially to someone I have always had a special interest in. Firewoman! You know what you one upped me this past week at Mayhem. I will give you credit for that one. You snuck through the crowd and once again played the game the only way you like it Dirty. So since you out smarted me. I would like to give you a present. Firewoman I know you are in the back. I would like you to please come out.
(The crowd begins to wonder what is going on. Firewoman's music begins to play as she makes her way to the entrance ramp.)
FW: Steele, I just took some Codeine so you have two minutes then for all I know you may become a little more interesting then you are now.
JS: I wanted to give you credit for outsmarting me.
FW: Thanks but it didn't take much.
JS: So for doing that I decided to give you a present. Gentlemen if you will.
(Firewoman quickly gets into a defensive stance ready to fight. That is until she sees what Steele's security force is bringing out. A duplicate of the bike that Tytan blew up. She cautiously walks over and checks it out.)
FW: So what Steele, when I start it up is it going to blow up? Or did you cut the break line?
JS: Nothing. I know when I get beat and you beat me. So to the victor goes the spoils.
(She cautiously steps closer and checks it out.)
FW: Thanks, I guess. But I still don't get it?
JS: Well, you see Firewoman. I am a man of money and I am also a very smart man. But my new thing is I am a very fair man. You beat me and I don't like being beat.
( At this point a lady walks down the ramp with a metal brief case. She is followed by two Security guards. She hands the case to Steel and waits)
JS: Do you see this case?
FW: Yeah, plenty of times. What gives?
JS: The reason I gave you the bike is that you have a fair chance to run! Run from the people who are answering the $750,000 bounty I just put on your head.
FW: (Looks a bit surprised) What Steel I wasn't worth a million dollar bounty?
JS: They can keep the bike too if they want I don't care. Firewoman you beat me once I will not let you beat me again!
(Steel then leaves with his entourage and Firewoman wonders how to get out of there.)
Fade
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:22:28 GMT -5
*LD Williams is on his cell phone with OBJ standing by*
LD: OK, so we'll tell Spin he has a free shot at it.
*Scheme Gene struts in*
SG: Sounds like something's up with Fear Us, fans!
LD: Momma is going to pass, for now anyways, on the bounty on Firewoman, to give Spin Hansen a clear shot.
SG: Firewoman was involved in a lot of matches at Mayhem. Any concerns she'll get involved at your title shot?
*A large bald man in a dress goose-steps in front of Fear Us, holding his right hand up in front of him*
LBMIAD: It takes a voman to handle a voman! I am Baron von Raschke's sister!
OBJ: Nice energy, but I think we'll go in another direction.
LBMIAD: But it take a voman to handle a voman!
*A large shadow falls over the large bald man in drag*
LBMIAD: Scheiss! *runs away*
LD: Anyways, Phantos and Lucios complained about their match against a thrown together team last week.
OBJ: Be careful, mates. What you wish for might come true.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:23:42 GMT -5
*Fade back into the palatial IHOP locker room after another grueling Rock Band session* Skurge: Feel better, Jooboy? SYB: Not really. The Amnesiac: What’s the problem, brother? SYB: I don’t know dude, but something is missing. Skurge: Maybe she can help. <The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth walks in, carrying a box> DM: It’s present time! SYB <puzzled>: What present? DM: Well the boys and I decided to get you something for your birthday and Hakuna… Hanu... Hanoi… Skurge: It’s clearly pronounced Chaka Khan. DM: Yeah… that. SYB: You guys got something for me? Sweet! <Skurge, The Amnesiac and the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth all smile approvingly> SYB: So what’s the in the box? DM: Huh? SYB: What’s in the box? DM: What? SYB: What’s in the booooooooox? DM: … Skurge: … The Amn: … SYB: It’s from Se7en. DM: … Skurge: … The Amn: … SYB: The movie SEVEN? DM: Ohhhhh… yeah. Anyway open it up. <SYB tears through all the tape and styrofoam popcorn to pull this out of the box> SYB: NAILS! YES! Skurge: We decided you needed a new look and it was either this or Piazza and let’s face it, you look gay enough withoot Piazza’s help. The Amn: You don’t like Mike Piazza? Skurge: Nope. SYB: And yet I still tag with you. Skurge: Fuck off, eh? SYB: Thanks a lot guys. This is awesome. A chimp should dress in style. DM: Glad you like it, now get over to The Amnesiac’s laptop for number two present. SYB: Number two present? You don't have to give me anything else. You've given me enough already. <The Amnesiac goes over to his laptop and hits a button> The Amn: It’s time for your new theme for next Wednesday. Ready? SYB: I dunno. I kinda like my current theme. I can’t switch it. The Amn: Of course you can. Besides you’re really not an asshole like the song says. Skurge: Actually… SYB: SHUT THE FUCK UP BACON BOY! Go watch curling or something. <Skurge shrugs and heads for the couch with a case of Molson as SYB’s new theme plays over the BOSE speakers sprinkled liberally throughout the palatial IHOP locker room> The Amn: Like it? SYB: Hell yes. Alexis Arquette won’t know what hit him… her… whatever. *FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:24:49 GMT -5
Hours later<A mile away from where we left Poe and Selena, on the rocky beach we find Drink & Destroy with LD Williams, The Bartender, Shannon the barmaid, and SFJs numbers 4, 12, 16, and 30. Stank is wearing a D&D hoodie (Available at OOWF Shopzone soon), and sits hunched over nursing a half empty bottle of Killian's Red. The bartender sets down an empty gasoline container and sits across from Shannon, who's neglecting the food she's grilling nearby. The SFJs mill about practicing questions they want to ask, and contemplating the upcoming SFJ house cleaning. It's chilly out as the sun is about to set over the mostly calm waters of the New Hampshire beach.> <Fear Us! and the Midnight Sons make their way over. They all pull up lawn chairs and sit around a small fire the Bartender has started. It's been a relaxing afternoon of story telling, laughs, reminisces, and general BS.> Stank - So did you get his autograph? LDW - Wait til you hear this. DHM - It was a seal. Stank - It was seal. HA! HA! <Everyone turns toward Mags and laughs, mostly because they agree.> Spin - It was NOT a seal, it was Michael Phelps! Stank - Ha! HA! That is some stupid shit! How do you fucking confuse (laughing uncontrollably) Phelps with a fucking seal? DHM - He's drunk. <Spin Hansen grins and takes another sip of his beer.> Spin - Not yet, but I'm getting there. Still got some sake in my system. Stank - What? Spin - I was in Japan earlier. I'd say more, but I don't want Kayfabe tackling me from under whatever rock she's hid-- OBJ - *BELCH!* Stank - LDW - Spin - DHM - OBJ - ... ... excuse me. <Everyone laughs heartily.> Stank - Alright, Alright, Alright, everyone... everyone settle down. We need to talk about next week a little bit. Shannon - Oh SHIT! I need to flip those burgers! DHM - I got it Shannon. Stay put. <Mags hops out of his seat and runs over to the grill. Stank raises an eyebrow and looks over at the barmaid. She looks up at the big man sheepishly then looks over at DH Magnusson's Rottwieler, Esben> Shannon - Sorry. I got caught up in the sunset. Stank - I guess I can't blame you. C'mere Esben... . <The dog happily trots over to Stank, who begins to pet the dog while the animal licks at Stank's half empty bottle of beer. Mags yells over from the grill.> DHM - HEY! He doesn't drink Killians! .... more of a pale ale connoisseur, really.Stank - Shannon, you mind taking over the grill? Mags! Get your ass over here. We need to talk. Shannon - Beer battered onion rings, anyone? LD - I'll take some of those. Spin - Me too. <Shannon stands up, dusts off her form fitting jeans, and relieves Mags of grill duty. DH takes his seat, as Esben walks over to him, a scratching behind the ears, the dogs reward. The bartender hops up.> BT - Got more beer in the truck. I'll go fetch it. Stank - Okay boys... Run DEA. Spin - And... there goes the evening. Stank - I know, but we need to discuss some things concerning them. DHM - Can't be much t' say. They're the bullies. We need to put em down, decisively. Stank - More importantly, we need to look out for one another. OBJ - Agreed. LD - I suppose you're referring to their constant run-ins. Stank - It's almost guaranteed to be a night full of them. LD - I don't know. They didn't interfere in my match with, Alex. Stank - Cause Alex was looking to prove a lot last night. LD - Hell of a match. I should know... I was in it. Stank - It was a hell of a match. And doesn't change a got damn thing about what Alex and the rest of Run DEA have coming to them. DHM - Damn straight. I'm thinking our biggest issue will be Firewoman. Spin - Unfortunately... I can't disagree. Stank - Unfortunately? Spin - I don't know... I mean... she's like a different person outside of Mayhem. You'd never think she would... Stank - .. Be the primary gnat, buzzing about the ring, leading the other gnats to insert themselves in our matches? Remember, it was her leading the charge when she and the tag champs took out Lock. LDW - Capslock was there last night. DHM - Are we selling that? Stank - It's been edited out. OBJ - No it hasn't. <Everyone sits in anticipation of an imminent attack from Kayfabe. When nothing happens, Spin decides to continue from where he left off last.> Spin - Anyway.. Firewoman... I mean, she was so... humble, after she beat me for the IC Belt. I felt... well... rage mostly, but that was lessened after she made those almost complimentary comments about me in that match. It kind of made me feel like she was a cut above the rest of them. Stank - Yeah... that's their MO. Most of them make you think that way of them... then their true colors come out. Spin - It's almost like the Heroes Guild, again. Stank - Not quite. Run DEA are deliberate in their actions. Crete and his men weren't smug. They weren't assholes like the fuckers we face now. OBJ - I can think of another adjective. Stank - Yeah... I hate to admit it... but they're crafty as fuck, too. OBJ - I was going to say goatlovers, but crafty works, I guess. Stank - Anyway, we need to have each others backs in our respective matches. DHM - Especially yours. Stank - I certainly wouldn't rule a run-in out. Sam will definitely be there, perhaps I should have Wally accompany me, just to rattle her cage. OBJ - Wally's back home... something about alligator boots. StanK - ? OBJ - Don't ask. Stank - Well just keep on the lookout for any of Run DEA's bullshit. LDW - What the hell? <Everyone turns to look at what LD Williams is looking at. From out of the water walks the looming presence of Poe and his child companion, Selena.> Selena - Voldsohmet! <Selena runs over, wraps her arms around Spin's neck and licks his face. Spin, who was seated before, jumps up with the girl still attached to his neck.> Spin - Uh... somebody... help. <Selena spots Esben next. The dog, for his part, cocks his head to the side in confusion.> Selena - Anubis. DHM - The name's Esben, girlie. <Selena slinks off of Spin, then squats over by the dog, who seems to want no part of the moon goddess. Esben barks once, then takes off running.> Selena - Come back, Anubis! <Selena jets off after Esben. The dog runs over to another individual who is coming out of the water wearing a dark wet suit. From the distance we can hear Selena scream...> Selena - MICHALE PHELPS! Spin - Ha! I TOLD you! Poe - Greetings gentlemen. <A chilly wind blows up from over the water, as darkness falls. The fire started by the bartender serves as the primary light source. Stank - Little chilly to be out for a swim Poe. Poe - It would seem fate has brought us together once again. Stank - Let's not overstate things. Poe - I overstate nothing. Stank - It's coincidence. Poe - Really? I don't believe in coincidence. I believe that fate has brought you to me to aid in the boy's demise. Much time has passed since, but I've suspected as much, since my note to Seamus, concerning the boy, somehow found it's way... to you. Stank - My ambitions go beyond your obsession with Alex. The boy as you like to call him, is only part of it. I've successfully goaded that idiot Davin into giving me the match I've wanted since Hell on Earth. I intend on making the most of that opportunity. <Poe smiles a knowing grin.> Poe - Indeed... We should talk. <fade>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:25:58 GMT -5
Firewoman stands at the top of the ramp, with the new motorcycle. She starts to smile....then she starts to laugh. Like, a lot. A whole lot. She picks up the microphone and starts to speak...but can't because she's laughing too hard. The crowd, who wants to go home, really, after a long night of incredible entertainment, has started to thin out a bit, but die hard OOWF fans know better. Finally, Firewoman manages to compose herself.
That's right Steele. Run to the back. Don't face me. Toss your money around, and hide behind your briefcases, and your limo...oops, I guess you'll be needing a new one of those, eh?
Thing is, Jonny-boy... you think this is the first time I've had a price on my head? Dude, I could tell you stories...there's nothing about this situation that I haven't handled before, and against people who wanted to do more than just....Well, what is it exactly you want, John-boy? See, it's really not clear. I mean, usually, it's someone's head on a platter, but I'm pretty sure you're not stupid enough to go on national television and do that. But who knows, maybe you are. So let me just tell you... been there, done that, and guess what?
She has stopped laughing now
STILL FUCKING HERE.
You should think about what that might mean.
And while you're straining your brain cells, here's something else you should think about. We did a bounty angle not too long ago, right before Hell on Earth. I'll recap it for you, since you clearly weren't paying attention. Davin, secretly, put a bounty on Stank, which caused all kinds of chaos. Which was entirely the point, really. But I digress. The interesting thing? No-one took Davin up on the offer. No one. Plenty of people had plenty of reason to....but no one did.
So, you wanna know my theory, Jon-Jon? My theory is that the boys in the back? They don't have much... what is it Moose is always going on and on and on about...? Respect! They don't have much respect for someone that can't take care of their own business. Someone who's too much of a pussy to take care of things on their own, so they have to bribe someone to do it. Doesn't mean that about three-fourths of them don't have their own reasons, and probably damn good ones, to come after me. But they'll do it themselves, and I'll bet most of them would be more than happy to do it for free.
But I don't distract so easily, John-Boy. So you either trade out your suit for a singlet and be a man, or go cower in that freakshow you call a laboratory, and let us get on with our jobs here, kay?
The crowd has gone somewhat silent. Firewoman starts to turn away to go the back, then her eyes fall on the Kawasaki Vulcan motorcycle. She turns back to the crowd and cameras.
One more thing. You know, I called Tytan a pussy for blowing up my bike instead of coming after me personally. But seeing your recent actions, JohnBoy, I'll have to say I was wrong on that. Tytan knew that bike meant something to me. See, this one here? This is just a hunk of steel and chrome and rubber. It means nothing. The one he destroyed? I earned that. Through sweat and blood and effort. It was given to me by those who mean--
Firewoman pauses here, almost appearing to get emotional, but the moment passes really quickly
Like I said. This is an empty shell, and an empty gesture.
She walks backstage, and comes back out again with a sledgehammer that was coincidentally placed just off stage. She picks up the sledgehammer and just beats the holy shit out of the motorcycle. If anyone in the crowd wasn't stunned into silence before, they certainly are now. She continues to pound the bejeezus out of the motorcycle, obviously picturing faces of those who have pissed her off recently. The once pristine bike is now a tangled heap of metal and other stuff, with oil and gasoline pooling beneath it.
There ya go JohnBoy. Hope this sparkles with you.
With that, Firewoman lights a cigarrette, takes a puff and tosses it onto the heap, which bursts into flames. She walks off through the smoke, as security rushes past her with fire extinguishers to quickly put out the blaze.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:27:08 GMT -5
(Wrath Standing in a Church dressed all in white Robes hood over his head)
(DW Kneeling in prayer:) “I understand, the power and strength are not only for pain but for good. Not for pain but for calling those in darkness into the light. I am a sinner, the embodiment of one of the 7 deadly sins; I am a path to redemption. My church shall remain small, only 6 more members, Lust, Gluttony, Sloth, Envy, Greed, and Pride. They shall walk beside me and we shall redeem all of OOWF. Redeeming all of the sinners or burning away the darkness and pain”
(Stands up Throws back hood Angelic Symbols on his face darker and more visible. His hair is Brilliant white his eyes a shinging blue. Under his robes we see all white clothing. )
“In time my friends, and fellow sinners will step forward and we will roll through OOWF as a force of nature. Repent now and your sins shall be redeemed. Do not and you shall stand in eternal torment. Blessings to you all” (Sign of the Cross) (candles in the church all light at the same time)”May you walk in light. ”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:27:41 GMT -5
It’s morning in a nice hotel room. There is a girl, obviously naked, lying under the covers of the bed. She’s moaning gently as she sleeps and moves under the covers. Poe comes out of the bathroom, obviously ready to get out of there when there’s a knock on the door. Poe goes to the door, looks out the peephole and then opens the door. Selena is standing in the hallway with her hands on her arms as if she’s cold/very uncomfortable.
SG: I did NOT need to hear all that.
Poe: You wanted the room next to me my goddess.
SG: During the ‘sacrifice’ *Selena makes the air quotes with her fingers* She was screaming so much I thought you actually were sacrificing her in here.
Poe: You said Ran wanted a good one.
SG: That did not sound ‘good.’ It sounded painful.
Poe: One day, you’ll learn.
SG: Pfft, the guy that gets to do that to me better put me in a nice beach house in Hawaii or something to get…this…
Selena looks at Poe, who has an amused look on his face.
SG: …which you’ve already done, okay moving on, next topic really fast.
Poe: Very well, Stank seems interested.
SG: They had such a cute doggie!
Poe: I must speak with Moosehead Jack about later.
SG: We’re gonna go see Uncle Moose?!
Poe: Later on, yes. First, would you like some breakfast my dear?
Selena keeps looking over to the girl in the bed, who hasn’t awakened despite the conversation between Selena and Poe.
SG: Okay her being here is making me super uncomfortable, yeah.
Poe walks over to the bed, scoops up the girl, covers and all, and carries her towards the door. Once out the door, he dumps her in the hallway and shuts the door. It only takes a few seconds for the girl to be awake and banging on the door. Selena laughs.
Poe: Better?
Selena smiles widely and hops onto the bed, jumping up and down o it a few times. She points to the phone as if asking if it’s okay.
Poe: Of course my love. Order whatever you’d like.
Selena grabs the phone and dials.
SG: Hello, room service?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:30:08 GMT -5
(Tytan smiles as the camera pans in on him.)
Tytan: Fire. It's seems you and I both have a thing for blowing shit up. It also seems like we have a thing for screwing up each others matches. So now we see we have a lot more in common then we think. Now, I will tell you I do enjoy destroying things that you hold dear. The bike was fun, now taking the title away from you. I could enjoy that even more. So let's cut the games before we really find something to blow up and get in the ring. It seems like that is going to be the only way to not be able to interfere in our matches. So what do you think? Does that sparkle with you?
(Fade)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:31:22 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is SITTING~! in the common area in the Run DEA Locker Room and Suites, presented by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels He's there will the 3 Darlings drinking "Cheap Domestic Beer" (your sponsorship available here). Phantos and Lucios are likely around somewhere; and Firewoman is, as we've seen, committing arson again.*
DM: So? Whaddya think?
AD: I think you did exactly what he wanted you to do. Just like he said. Dumb move, Champ.
DM: ORLY??! Sorry. Oh really? Do you really think Davin Moreland doesn't have a plan? Do you really think Stank's been filled in on the whole story? Davin Moreland is the World Champion. Davin Moreland has tricks up his sleeve. Davin Moreland is not a stupid man. Davin Moreland is a scholar. More importantly *laughs to himself for no reason*, Davin Moreland is a teacher; a professor.
LD: Davin, you've really got yourself set for full-on douchebag nowadays, don't you?
P: *entering the room* It's necessary.
DM: Davin Moreland's brother P-Dawg here knows of what he speaks. That's why he's the captain.
SD: I don't know that it's necessary.
P: It is.
SD: How do you know?
P: There's a lot you don't know about me.
AD: There was a lot of buildup for that line.
DM: Davin Moreland's brother is correct. P-Dawg is wise. P-Dawg is a guru. *laughs at himself for no reason, which shall be heretofore known as 'Batistalaughs'* P-Dawg is a shaman.
P: The Shaman of Sexy?
DM: Let's not get carried away.
P: Aww man...
*Firewoman returns from her arson run, covered in motorcycle juice and carrying her sledgehammer*
P: Hellllllllooooooooooooooo Nurs...I mean...Evenin' Ma'am.
DM: That should just about wrap you up, right?
P: Yeah, outside of that, I pretty much got nothin'.
*He leaves, carrying Firewoman's sledgehammer for her. She leaves too*
LD: God, she's getting creepy.
AD: I don't think so.
DM: Davin Moreland doesn't either. Firewoman is an expressionist. Firewoman is an artist. Firewoman is a technician. *Batistalaughs* Firewoman is an arsonist, but at least it keeps Firewoman here with us.
AD: And I'd rather have her with us than against us.
SD: Really? I mean...
LD: Nah, they're right sis. Fire's been here from the beginning with us. She's got nothing to prove; and we have the responsibility to have her back no matter what she does.
DM: Alexis is a soothsayer. If Run DEA can back some of the stupid things Davin Moreland has done *Batistalaughs* from time to time; then Run DEA should have no problem backing Firewoman. Especially when Firewoman is doing something cool, like setting shit on fire. Run DEA has broad shoulders. Run DEA is a humanitarian organization.
AD: Are you high?
DM: Davin Moreland is indeed NOT High, except perhaps *Batistalaughs* High on Life. No, my worthy adversary, Davin Moreland realized something tonight. Davin Moreland realized that Davin Moreland cannot do everything all by Davin Moreland's self. Davin Moreland is not an island. Davin Moreland is not John Rambo. Davin Moreland needs the assistance of Run DEA, not that solely Davin Moreland can thrive, but that that ALL of Run DEA can thrive. Alex, look at us! World Champ, Intercontinental Champ, Tag Champs and coming soon, Onslaught Champ and Trios Champ.
SD: Hell, even *I* want a belt now.
DM: You can have one my queen. Simply beat the ever-living shit out of Skurge, and the DDT belt is yours, My Samantha.
SD: Tempting.
DM: It is clear that *Batistalaughs* Run DEA is easily the most dominant force in the OOWF today. Davin Moreland is the greatest World Champion ever to walk these halls. My Brothers are the most dominant tag team in the History of this company and have killed that division. Firewoman will hold the Intercontinental title for years to come. We are ALL Champions here. There is no one; not that stupid son-of-a-bitch Stank, not that pedofile Poe, NONE of them can stop Run DEA. It took a match with Alexander to realize that. Alexander is worthy to be the World Champion if he sees fit, and indeed Alexander is Davin Moreland's toughest competition.
AD: And if we stand together...
DM: There is no one on Earth that can stop Davin Moreland or Alexander Darling. We are granite. We are the immovable object. Run DEA is the foundation on which the OOWF is built. Without Run DEA, there is no company. Without Run DEA, there are no fans. The rest of them should be thankful for Run DEA. Run DEA is generous. Run DEA gives these nothings camera time. Run DEA feeds their families. Run DEA gets no thanks for these acts of kindness. However, Run DEA is so magnanimous that this trivia doesn't matter. It is however important to *Batistalaughs* to CONVERT those who do not believe from time to time.
AD: Starting this week.
DM: Yes Alexander. Starting this week. Starting from where it all began, that ungrateful retard Stank. Stank thinks he got one over on Davin Moreland. *Batistalaughs* Stank thinks he outsmarted Davin Moreland. Stank thinks he's a genius. Stank thinks he's a Rhodes Scholar. Stank think he's a mastermind. Stank is making a very dangerous mistake. Stank should remember the last time he dared to underestimate Davin Moreland. Stank should think about his knee that still hasn't healed quite right. Stank should remember the bounty Davin Moreland put on his head. Stank should remember that Davin Moreland at every turn has taken him around the schoolyard. Intelligence, Skill, Desire; Stank may think he has these, but unfortunately for Stank, Davin Moreland has Stank covered. When Stank goes down to a swift and bitter defeat this Wednesday, what will the battle cry be then? *Batistalaughs* What will Stank say to the troops? "Stank can't beat Davin Moreland, but let's get em!" "Stank's not smart enough, not skilled enough, not focused enough to defeat the greatest World Champion in history; but we still really don't like him!"
DM: It's Ok Stank. It's Ok to admit defeat when you are defeated. It's Ok to cry after Stank gets pinned. Stank is an emotional man. Stank doesn't try to hide his feelings. Just know that Stank, you may think you've gotten what you've wanted; and maybe you have - but perhaps Davin Moreland got what Davin Moreland wanted too. Davin Moreland will take on all comers. Davin Moreland ducks no one. Davin Moreland is a fighting Champion. This is more than what Davin Moreland can say for Stank. Stank should follow Davin Moreland's example. Davin Moreland is a trendsetter *Batistalaugh*. Davin Moreland is a paragon of virtue. Davin Moreland is your destiny Stank; and Davin Moreland hopes Stank has paid up his insurance premiums.
*Lucios enters*
L: Wow. You've got "douchebag" down to a science.
DM: Can you say that?
L: Probably. Anyway...wow.
DM: Thanks. It's fun.
SD: Just stop doing it...you know...
DM: What? Davin Moreland is a conqueror. *Batistalaughs* Davin Moreland is a satisfier.
AD: Ok, that's probably enough.
LD: It *is* funny though.
SD: If you like douchebags.
DM: You like douchebags.
SD: I like THIS douchebag.
LD: Oh, puke.
*They all get up, Davin and Alexander make a point to fistbump before we fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:31:58 GMT -5
*Still Inside the Suite*
Alexander and Lexie enter Alexander's room within the Suite.
Alexander: Hey sister darling, can you toss me some advil.
Alexis: In a second...
Alexis reaches into her bag and pull out a bottle of Aquafina and a bottle of pills. She quickly takes two pills before tossing both to her brother.
Alexander: You got a headache too?
Alexis: Alexander, of Alexander course Alexander not Alexander. Alexander, Why Alexander would Alexander I Alexander have Alexander a Alexander headache Alexander?
Alexander laughs, Alexander: Cute. It might be a bit much but at least look at the bright side.
Alexis: And what's that brother dear?
Alexander: The Davin Moreland we always wanted to stand with is back. The attitude and the words are whatever. But I stood in that ring for 35 minutes with him after almost an hour with Williams and we gave each other everything we could. And Davin didn't back down an inch. He didn't hold back at all and that's what I needed to find out. I needed to know if he was still the same guy who dominated the Onslaught division and I found out first hand that he is.
Alexis: He put you through a table, you going to forget that?
Alexander: You know as well as I do Lex, that nothing is ever forgotten. Do you think Davin's forgotten that we almost killed him less than a year ago? Of course not, but Davin and I have always seen eye to eye on one thing. Business is business and nothing should stand in the way of that.
Alexis: And how long did it take you to learn that lesson?
Alexander: It doesn't matter. It's learned now and that just means trouble for the rest of that locker room. Run DEA is united. Those 14 letters should scare the fuck out of this company.
Alexis: Can I ask you something else?
Alexander: You know you can.
Alexis turns and points at something behind Alexander hanging on the wall. Alexis: Why do you have that?
Alexander: ...
The camera slowly starts to focus and fade on the hanging PHWF World Heavyweight Titile.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:32:48 GMT -5
<Firewoman is in her locker room meditating when there is a knock on the door. Fire makes the slightest motion toward Lucky and he goes and answers the door. After a few seconds he comes back to Fire>
L: Uh Fire....
FW: Not now
L: Look, Fire, you know I wouldn't disturb you unless it is important
FW: It can wait
L: Errm, no, this can't
FW: It CAN and it WILL
L: GM the Rick wants to see you
FW: And when I am done he will
L: The messenger said now
FW: I don't answer to messengers
L: Uh, he also said something about "or else"
FW: Rick is not stupid enough to threaten me
L: As a recent winner of a title, is it really worth the risk of alienating the man who decides when and where you defend the title, and against whom you defend it?
<Fire appears deep in meditation for a moment, then takes a deep breath, slowly exhales, opens her eyes and hops to her feet>
FW: That's why I keep you around
<Fire leaves and we cut to GM the Rick's door. Fire knocks and walks in and we see Tytan and Jonathan Steele already sitting there>
GMtR: Fire, glad you could make it
FW: Or else, right?
GMtR: I know you sometimes need.........motivation. Please have a seat
<Fire sits keeping a wary eye on Steele and Tytan>
GMtR: Now. I am all for unbridled aggression and a good feud. It pops the buyrates, it makes the suits and fans happy, and it gives us something to build on. But this blowing shit up has got to stop
FW: He started it
JS: She had it coming
GMtR: Enough. Fire, they blew up your bike, you trashed a limo and a replacement bike. As of right now, in terms of blowing shit up, you two are even. It is too much of an insurance risk. ESPECIALLY setting a bike on fire INSIDE the arena
FW: No one got hurt
GMtR: But they could have, and that is a risk we are not taking anymore. Period.
JS: Just for the sake of argument, lets say something were to get accidentally blown up.
GMtR: Well, there could be a fine but......
FW: DEA has plenty of money
JS: Not as much as Ultimo Inc
FW: Don't bet on that
GMtR: AS I WAS SAYING.....there could be a fine, but money is not an object for either of you. So in lieu of fines, there will be suspensions. Lengthy suspensions. Title costing, busted to the opening match, no more title matches, you will be jobbing to the newest incoming wrestler for months on end suspensions and punishments. Am I making myself clear here?
JS: Crystal
FW:......
GMtR: Am. I. Making. Myself. Clear.
<Fire gets a girlish smile on her face and hops out of her chair and looks at Rick>
FW: Sure thing Rick! You mind if I leave now? I have to get back to meditating.
<Without waiting for an answer Fire leaves the room, we pan over to Tytan who is smiling and rubbing his hands together>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:35:50 GMT -5
(We see The OOWF World Tag Team Champions walk towards The Suites, sporting the white masks from Firewoman, Wranglers, cowboy hats, boots, and bandanas around their necks. Both men are wearing their title belts around their waists.
Lucios' Voice: It's Championships, Narrator. Get it right or get lost.
...Championships around their waists. A Randonly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist is waiting for them.)
RNSFJ: Champs, I need to get some comments from you.
Phantos: Heeey! you're new! I'm...
RNSFJ: Phantos. I was warned about you.
Phantos: Don't worry toots, it can't All be true.
RNSFJ: It looks like you guys have had a change in wardrobe poviders. Any particular reason?
Lucios: It's time for us to get back to who we are. The Armani and Versace are fine for some, but it's not who we really are.
Phantos: And besides, we're facing Fear Us. They aren't exactly members of the jet set. We can't outclass them Inside AND Outside of the ring. It just would be wrong.
Lucios: Class is hardly a part of their vocabulary. Outback is a foul-mouthed, belching hack who couldn't wrestle his way out of a used condom. And LD might be a great technician, but he's Canadian after all.
RNSFJ: You just said Fear Us has No Class. Strong words guys.
Phantos: Strong Words? Did you see what they did to my truck? I had to sell it it was so bad.
RNSFJ: If it was so bad, why didn't you respopnd last week?
Lucios: Revenge is a dish best served cold. Do your homework next time lass. We don't run wildly around the back attacking everyone who speaks ill of us. A lesson some in this company really need to re-learn. When we do strike, it is impactful and leaves an impression.
RNSFJ: So about your match this week?
Phantos: Babe, We're the Tag Team Champions. Those guys have what?, 8-10 matches together so far? We've been a tag team for longer than this comapny has been around. They might be good, but they still don't Measure Up to The Division Killers
RNSFJ: You hit your catchphrase. I guess we're done.
(Fade to black)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:37:10 GMT -5
AA and JA walk outside of whereeverthehelltheywere.
AA: Is that what we've sunk to? Someone else is cutting promos of us on the Funky Giant Khali Chicken Show?
JA: Apparently.
AA: What's next? Do we appear on street corners with a sign that says "Will Job for Gambling Funds"?
JA: That's not a bad idea, actually.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:38:49 GMT -5
In a dark locker room, lit by a single light bulb, Moosehead Jack is delivering a promo.
MHJ: This isn’t about respect. I respect you but it doesn’t matter. This is about what I’m going to do to you in that ring…
Suddenly there’s a knock on the door. Moosehead Jack glares at the door. He shakes his head and walks over to the door. He opens it and Selena skips into the room.
SG: Uncle Moose!!
MHJ: Why hello Selena.
Moosehead Jack turns on the lights to…a normal locker room.
MHJ: Please, come in.
Poe follows Selena into Moosehead Jack’s locker room and they all sit on a bench facing each other, Selena sitting in front of Poe facing Moosehead Jack.
MHJ: So what brings you both to my humble abode?
Poe: I had a discussion with Stank last night. He and Drink & Destroy seem open to some form of alliance against Run DEA. It’s merely talk at the moment, but I figure you’d be someone that’d be interested in this.
Moosehead Jack strokes his chin.
MHJ: Yes, I do feel there’s another war brewing. This one may be even more important than the last…to us individually at least. But I have concerns.
Poe: I’m listening.
MHJ: Run DEA are by far the top heels in this company right now and if I stand against them…wouldn’t that make me a…face?
Selena starts to look around as she sits on the bench.
Poe: Technically, I guess you’re right. But it worked for me in Japan. I was a heel, but the fans simply embraced me. I didn’t change a thing.
Selena continues to look around, expecting Kayfabe to show up out of the blue any minute.
MHJ: I suppose you’re right. I definitely would enjoy watching Alexander Darling’s career come crashing down like a house of cards in a hurricane. And FireWoman…well, she’s definitely an… interest of mine also.
Selena stops looking for Kayfabe and once again begins to pay attention to the conversation.
Poe: Very well. I’ll keep you in the loop. You do not have to decide anything now.
MHJ: Nor would I. You have been a good ally so far, and I respect you, so I will let you know when or if I make a decision.
Selena begins to pout. Moosehead Jack sees this. He places his finger under her chin, raising her head.
MHJ: What’s wrong little one? I didn’t say no.
SG: It’s not that. You haven’t talked about blood yet. Like rivers of blood flowing down the aisle or something like that.
Moosehad Jack sits back and thinks.
MHJ: You’re right. I haven’t. Hmm…this can’t be a Moosehead Jack promo then. It must be a BC promo.
Poe: You sure?
SG: Yeah…nothing creepy has happened yet.
Suddenly Kayfabe bursts through the locker room door, naked, covered in blood, wielding a chainsaw and holding an apple.
MHJ: Okay…there’s the creepy.
Poe & SG: *simultaneously* BC promo.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:39:50 GMT -5
<Poe extends his hand and Moose shakes it, and he and Selena leave the locker room. Moose stands there for a moment after they leave evidently contemplating something when SFJ13 steps out of the shadows of the locker room>
SFJ13: Clearly you are contemplating something Moose, what are you thinking, the fans need to know?
<Moose slowly turns around and stares at 13>
MHJ: Where did you come from?
SFJ13: Does it matter? Answer the question.
MHJ: You didn't get enough last time eh? Look, I don't give a shit what the fans want, or think. They mean nothing to me. Poe made me an offer that I think I should consider.
SFJ13: So you are going to sell out and side with Drink and Destroy, become a face and pander to the crowd. God you are worthless.
MHJ: You are SUCH a bitch. No, that is not what I am going to do. Look, I have no immediate problem with Drink and Destroy. I have worked with them before, and now that LD is aligned with him, that is another tie to them. On the other hand, I have almost no problem with Run DEA either
SFJ13: Almost.....
MHJ: Well Fire has that Intercontinental title that I wouldn't mind getting back, but that is business, nothing personal. Everyone knows that Alexander Darling is a waste of space and should be eliminated from the OOWF
SFJ13: He did punk you pretty bad. Bitch
MHJ: Will you shut the fuck up? Look, I want Alexander to suffer, and I have no doubt that in time, he will, whether it is at my hands or someone else's. Look, there is one person in the OOWF that hates Darling more than I do, it makes sense that he and I work together, we have a common goal.
SFJ13: So it is set then?
MHJ: Nothing is set. But there are things to think about. And with that, it is time for you to leave.
SFJ13: We are not done here yet
MHJ: Yes. Yes we are.
<Moose clotheslines SFJ13 and throws her out the door, then slams it shut. As he turns around the INC catches a satisfied smirk on his face.>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:43:59 GMT -5
(Firewoman just finishing her workout in a nearby Gym hears a Firetruck pulling into the parking lot. Suddenly the Fire alarms go off. She stops the middle of her set and watches the people starting to leave.)
Firewoman: That's kind of odd. Well you know I still may get a chance to watch something burn.
(She leaves and follows the others outside. When she steps out she sees the Fire Truck and anxiously looks around to see something burning. Instead she hears.)
Tytan: Hey Fire! (She turns and sees Tytan standing next to the Fire Truck.) Heard you been running a little hot under the collar lately.
(Fire glares at him with a look that can burn a hole straight through.)
Tytan: So I figured I would help cool you off.
Fire makes her move at the same time Tytan reaches for a hose. She charges as Tytan turns on the hose and nails her with the water driving her back and causing her to hit the ground.)
Firewoman: This so does not sparkle!
(At that point she looks up on the Fire Truck and sees Steele standing there. He jumps down and heads over to Firewoman.)
Steele: Listen up! I tried to be a nice guy. I tried to be a gentleman and give you a chance.
(Firewoman tries to get up and every time she does Tytan aims the water back at her sending her back down again. Now the cold weather is starting to kick in and begins to make things a little tougher to move and just function.)
Steele: You just don't understand who you are dealing with. You were the one that made the first attack and you represent the things that are wrong with the OOWF. So why are you even questioning why Tytan fought back? You represent bad and we represent good.
(Tytan turns off the water and begins to allow Firewoman to catch her breathe.)
Firewoman: You don't realize what you are bringing on!
Steele: You wrong I do realize it. What I also know is this the best way to put out a Fire is too take away the Oxygen. (He looks to Tytan. Who launches a swift field goal kick to the ribs.)
(Firewoman falls over in pain and shivering from the cold.)
(Steele then leans over to Firewoman.)
Steele: Well lets see, the igniting source gone. The oxygen hurting. I guess that just leaves the fuel. So you no what that makes you Fire?
Firewoman: Still strong enough to kick your ass.
Steele: No. It makes you nothing. (He nods to Tytan who kicks her in the ribs one more time.)
(Firewoman yells in pain then rolls in Steele's direction and spits at him.)
Steele: Now let's go and return this with a very heavy donation.
(They head off) Fade
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 25, 2008 21:44:41 GMT -5
<Moose leaves his locker room carrying something in his hand, but we can't quite see what it is, as he goes down the hall, he turns several corners and finally seems to come across what he is looking for. Skurge is standing there with the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Title on his shoulder finishing an interview with a random Sexy Female Journalist. He sees Moose and immediately gets in a defensive stance>
MHJ: Hey hey no need for that, I actually come bearing gifts
Skurge: Bullshit Moose.
MHJ: Look Skurge, I have known LD for a long time, and he is Canadian. I thought Canadians were a gentle, trusting people? Why the hostility
Skurge: <mockingly> Hi! I'm Moosehead Jack! I like to kill people! Why should I trust you?
MHJ: Would someone with ill intentions have this nice, cold, frosty, Canadian brewed beer on him? One that he was willing to share as a token of his good will?
<As Moose says this he waves the bottle in front of Skurge's face, Skurge automatically follows the bottle, licking his lips the whole time.>
MHJ: So, you wanna toast the coming new year?
Skurge: Hey a Canadian can only take so much!
<Moose pops the top of the beer, and then a second one, he throws the first one to Skurge, but throws it a little high. Skurge reaches up to grab the beer and Moose takes the second beer and SMASHES it in Skurge's face! Skurge falls to the floor (but never spills a drop of his beer) Moose falls on Skurge and a referee appears....
ONE, TWO, THREE - WINNER AND NEW DDT IRON MAN HEAVY METAL CHAMPION - Moosehead Jack!
The referee disappears and Moose picks up the title and the beer, tosses the title over his shoulder and takes a long swig of the beer and walks away laughing. Skurge starts to stir>
Skurge: What the hell was that all aboot?
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