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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:29:34 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Springfield NY
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u] Davin Moreland vs. Stank
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u] Firewoman vs. Tytan
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u] Phantos & Lucios vs. Bryce Larson & Nayr
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u] Chris Cole vs. Alexander Darling
OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match[/u] IHOP vs. Seamus McNasty, Poe & Moosehead Jack
Fear Us & Spin Hansen vs. The Chickenshit Heels & Damon Wrath Tyson Kincaid vs. Concrete TG
card subject to the Yankees spending 250 million dollars to buy the arena from us
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:29:58 GMT -5
<Bryce Larson & Nayr are in their lockerroom after suffering defeat in their latest outing.>
N: Dangit! We were this close...I tried to save you in the end.
BL: Save me? Listen, that loss doesn't matter. I got us a tag team title shot!
N: What?! How did you get us a tag team title shot?
BL: You even have to ask? GM The Rick sure ain't giving us one because of you, so it has to be my track record.
N: Track record? What track record? You've barely had any matches here! And were you not sitting right there when The Rick said he was impressed with me?
BL: Listen Midget, he knows talent when he sees it, and he obviously sees it in me.
N: Do I need to remind you that the last time we won, I scored the fall? And tonight, when we lost, you got pinned!
BL: You know what Midget? You just need to realize that I'm the best thing to ever happen to you. Before I came along, you were only here because Rick probably had to meet some quota for midgets.
N: Seriously, you're completely dillusional. And if you call me "midget" one more time--
BL: Whatever Midget.
<Nayr hauls off and punches Bryce in the mouth, and Bryce responds by tackling Nayr to the floor, and they start to fight. Firewoman unexpectedly enters the room to break it up.>
FW: You two idiots need to realize that you're just about to get your asses kicked by Phantos & Lucius.
BL: I've got a week to prepare, and--
N: You've got a week to prepare? More like we've got a week to prepare--
FW: You obviously didn't listen to me. I said "just about." That means right now.
<Phantos & Lucios enter the room, and Firewoman leaves--closing the door behind her. The camera focuses on the door as we hear Bryce & Nayr, getting their asses kicked.>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:30:15 GMT -5
Firewoman leaves Phantos and Luscious to their fun, and heads out of the arena. Moonbeam catches up to her.
MB: Like...where are you going?
FW: To the hospital. Did you not see--
MB: I was watching, and then I needed a chocolate donut.
FW: Davin is there.
MB: Bummer.
FW: Yeah...to say the least.
MB: But like....next week--
FW: Good gods, who the fuck cares about that right now. Did you not hear what I just said?
MB: But you're facing Tytan. For the title.
FW: Championship.
MB: Yeah...that thing....I need a comment, or I'll get fired!
FW: Fine, here's my comment. Tytan? Stay out of my way until Wednesday. You DON'T want to fuck with me right now.
Firewoman walks quickly out of the arena, and gets in Phantos's truck, that he totally let her borrow, and speeds to the hospital.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:30:37 GMT -5
*Welcome to Springfield Hospital. We fade into the scene, and it's Davin Moreland, who is all bandaged up and is in partial traction. It's clearly pretty bad; they've got monitors up along with a couple of IVs. Shockingly, no casts though, although he is in a hard neck brace. Samantha Darling, bless her heart, is dutifully sitting by, holding his hand. She's stopped crying; but you can see it hasn't been long since she stopped. Firewoman, fresh out of Phantos' stolen borrowed truck, is out of breath rushing up to the room. Samantha looks over*
SD: Hey.
FW: Hey. How is he?
SD: Well, they say preliminary X-Rays didn't show any clean breaks. They've got him scheduled for an MRI as soon as he regains consciousness.
FW: Wait...he's not conscious yet?
SD: He took a shot from the metal turnbuckle from about a 15 foot fall right in the temple. He's lucky it didn't kill him.
FW: You're serious?
SD: Yeah. Doctor says he's really lucky.
FW: I knew it was bad...I didn't know it was this bad.
SD: God I wish he wasn't such a crazy motherfucker. He could have KILLED himself tonight! And for what?!!
FW: *sighs* Like all of us Samantha, he's a competitor. He forgot that for a while; but when it comes down to it, there's no one with more balls. That's why he's the champ after all.
SD: I guess being crazy has its advantages.
FW: Shit. The doctors KNOW he's on medication, right?
SD: Yup. Thankfully I remembered. I'm not thinking right.
FW: Why don't you go get a coffee. I'll sit in here with him.
*Samantha nods and leaves, presumably in search of coffee. A few seconds pass, and Fire goes into a deep meditative state; centering her chakras or whatever she does. She doesn't notice Davin open his eyes. It takes him a minute, but he finally manages to speak.*
DM: Hey kid.
FW: *snaps suddenly awake* Shit, you're awake. How long?
DM: About 10 seconds.
FW: You ok?
DM: Oh sure...I'm just fucking peachy.
FW: I think the cameras are on, D.
DM: Awesome. So, to answer Firewoman's question, Davin Moreland has seen better days. But, Davin Moreland is a survivor. Davin Moreland is a fast healer.
FW: Apparently, Davin Moreland damn near killed himself.
DM: Eh, so be it. Like the old time wrestlers say, you always go out on your back - one way or the other.
FW: That's just morbid. I like it.
DM: *weakly batistalaughs* Thought Firewoman might.
FW: Well, now's probably not the time, but you've got yourself a rematch this week.
DM: Balls.
FW: You gonna be ready?
DM: Duh. Of course. Davin Moreland is always ready. Davin Moreland is prepared. *starts coughing after an attempted batistalaugh* Of course, Davin Moreland might not be prepared right this second. How is Lucas?
FW: Dunno. He seemed to be in slightly better shape than you are.
DM: That's good.
FW: Um...Kayfabe, D.
DM: Oh. Yeah. Uh...ok...how about this...Stank must have landed directly on Stank's fat layers. Stank's fat layers clearly were enough to break Stank's fall. Lucky for Stank, Davin Moreland may not be 100% this Wednesday. Of course, Davin Moreland doesn't NEED to be 100% to defeat Fatboy.
FW: Better.
DM: Apparently GM the Rick feels like Stank is the one to end Davin Moreland's Championship run. GM the Rick must be slightly retarded. Actually, Davin Moreland suspected that GM the Rick was slightly retarded all along. GM the Rick is simply crossing potential challengers off the list. GM the Rick is burning out GM the Rick's best challengers first. Davin Moreland laughs at GM the Rick's continuing incompetence. Well, GM the Rick will, of course be unsuccessful. Davin Moreland has proven, time and again, that Davin Moreland will do anything...ANYTHING to remain OOWF World Heavyweight Champion.
FW: That much is clear.
DM: Well, Davin Moreland is *coughs*,like Davin Moreland said, a fighting Champion. And Davin Moreland will not let a minor injury slow Davin Moreland down.
FW: Minor injury?!? Dumbass, you were nearly killed. Seriously, don't do anything stupid.
DM: Davin Moreland rarely does stupid things. In fact, if Stank thought Stank was in for a surprise this past week - wait and see what Davin Moreland has in store for Stank this week.
FW: What? What are you gonna do now?
DM: Well *cough* Davin Moreland would tell Firewoman, but Davin Moreland would have to break Kayfabe to do that.
FW: Well, let's bounce the ninja-cams.
DM: A fine idea.
*Ninja cams leave, but the mics pick up pieces of conversation as they do*
DM: Thanks for coming, Lis.
FW: That's what teammates are for right?
*Samantha Darling returns with 2 coffees*
SD: Davin! You're ok!
DM: Well...probably.
FW: So what about this match?
DM: Let's just say there may be a rule adjustment this week.
FW: You devious son-of-a-bitch.
DM: The severance agreement worked out for both parties after all...
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:30:59 GMT -5
*On the opposite end of the hospital floor where Davin lies, we find Stank sitting up on the side of his bed, fully dressed, and wearing a neck brace. He is scanning a text message he just received on his cell phone, when Spin Hansen walks in.*
Stank - How's Mags?
Hansen - It doesn't look good.
Stank - What the hell happened?
Hansen - I don't know. His leg just gave way.
*Stank furrows his brow, staring off to the side with a look of frustration.*
Hansen - How are you holding up?
Stank - I'll live. You?
Hansen - I'm fine.
Stank - Really? You're not mad about losing your match?
Hansen - It's under control.
Stank - What's under control?
Hansen - I have it rolled up in a tight ball and buried deep inside awaiting my call. It will keep til then.
Stank - Okay. You heard anything on Davin? How's he doing.
Hansen - He didn't die, if that's what you're wondering. Not for lack of effort.
Stank - All that shit he's full of must have cushioned his impact. Let's go see Mags.
Hansen - Can you walk?
Stank - Of course I can walk. It's just my neck. Davin can talk about my knee all he wants, but it works just fine. I'm not a cripple.
Hansen - No I was just worried you'd get winded and pass out before you got out the door.
Stank - Cute. Let's go smartass.
*Stank and Spin walk out of the hospital room and head down the hall to where DH Magnusson is being kept.*
Hansen - Rick's giving you another shot at Moreland.
Stank - Is that a fact.
Hansen - I'd like another shot a Firewoman.
Stank - You mean you're not getting one?
Hansen - No. Outback Jack, Williams, and myself are facing the Chickenshit Heels and Damon Wrath.
Stank - Wrath? What's his deal?
Hansen - I think I know.
*Stank and Spin arrive at DH's room, where Outback Jack is already standing. We watch LD Williams walk in a few seconds later as the camera fades*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:31:17 GMT -5
*Fade in to the palatial IHOP locker room. The mood is somewhat morose, as the team of Skurge and The Amnesiac reflect on their controversial loss to the aptly named Chickenshit Heels last night at OOWF MidWeek Mayhem, Live! from Springfield, NH, and SYB reflects on his win, which came at the cost of a brutal chair shot to the head…
Amn: That was bullshit last night. We had that match in the bag, and those sons of bitches cheated us out of it. Skurge: Meh. It was pretty cheap, but we probably would’ve done the same in their situation. In the end, it really only affects our Tag Team ranking. Not that big a deal, if you ask me. Amn: Good point. How’s the head, Solly? SYB: Sore. I probably have a concussion, but at least my nose didn’t get broken this time. Skurge: Yeah, as bullseyes go, your nose is a pretty colossal one. SYB: Thanks for the concern, fuckwad. Skurge: No problem, little buddy. Hey, has anyone seen Dorothy lately?
*As if on cue, the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth enters the palatial IHOP locker room. She’s reading over the card for OOWF MidWeek Mayhem, Live! from Springfield, NY, as she makes her way over to IHOP…
DM: Have you guys seen this? You’ve got MooseheadJack, Seamus, and Poe for the Chimpionships coming up. Skurge: That’s an odd team. DM: It really is, but it’s what we’ve got to deal with. Amn: Wait, why isn’t it MooseheadJack, Poe, and Tytan? You know, Globes and Munsters? DM: According to this, Tytan has an Intercontinental Title match against Firewoman this week. Skurge: Huh. I wonder what he did to earn a shot at the Incontinence title? SYB: Does it really matter? Skurge: I guess not. So Mayhem is when? DM: Wednesday. It’s always Wednesday. Skurge: But Wednesday is Christmas Eve. We have to wrestle on Christmas Eve? What kind of bullshit is that? SYB: It’s not Christmas Eve for everyone. Skurge: Sorry Solly, I forgot you celebrate Jooish Christmas instead. Isn’t it Jooish Christmas Eve or something? SYB: Nah, all eight nights are pretty much the same. Amn: You get eight nights of Jooish Christmas? That must be awesome! SYB: You’d be surprised. Let’s just say you can only spin so many dreidels. Skurge: Anyway, I’m still pissed aboot having to wrestle on Christmas Eve. DM: You had plans? Skurge: I was going to see how much egg nog I could get through in a night. Already bought the rum and everything. Amn: Did you buy the egg nog too? Skurge: Nope. That’s a last-minute thing. If I don’t get aroond to it, I’ve still got the rum. If you do it the other way…well, let’s just say that egg nog was created as a rum vehicle. Withoot the rum, there’s really no point. DM: The match should only take 20 minutes or so. That shouldn’t put too much of a dent into your drinking time. Skurge: Yeah, I guess so. Alright, lets get to reviewing tape. I’ll start with Moose. I want to make sure I have adequate respect for his trust and the blood that I will be suffering through and whatnot. Amn: Alright. I’ve got the Seamus tapes. Last I heard, he had a tag partner. Need to find out what happened there. SYB: Ah shit. I get Poe? Really? That guy creeps me the fuck out. Skurge: Selena’s in the Poe tapes too, eh? SYB: I’m on it.
*The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth rolls her eyes at SYB as IHOP goes into their private tape room to do some prep work and we…
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:31:35 GMT -5
**SFJ#47 approaches L.D. Williams as he exits D.H. Magnusson’s hospital room.**
SFJ#47: “L.D., with D.H. Magnusson’s recent injury, there are rumours that you are considering becoming a full member of Drink & Destroy. Do you have any comment?”
LD: “Well I have been thinking about it, but I’m not anymore.”
SFJ#47: “Why not?”
LD: “In my time in the OOWF I’ve been part of a number of groups and loose alliances, but D&D is different. D&D is a family. As of today, D&D is my family, and woe to anyone who messes with them.”
SFJ#47: “So, the war with Run DEA is going to intensify?”
LD: “There is no war. A war is when two sides battle and the outcome is in doubt. This battle? There’s no doubt. Davin Moreland, The Darlings, Phantos, Lucios, Firewoman, and any who choose to stand with them will fall. To quote Stank – We are Drink and Destroy, and you’re fucked.”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:31:54 GMT -5
<Cameras catch up with Bryce Larson & Nayr, still recovering from taking an ass kicking from Phantos & Lucios...>
BL: Damn, are you alright?
N: Yeah, I think I am. You?
BL: I'll be okay. I'm just glad we're both still able to compete. I was worried about you.
N: Really? I'm happy to hear you say that! I really think we're starting to click as a team--
BL: I'm glad you're okay so I can do this!
<Bryce smacks Nayr in the face>
N: What the fuck was that for?
BL: You moron! This is all your fault!
N: My fault?
BL: You were the one facing the door, not me. How the hell did you not see them coming in?
N: It's called blindsided for a reason, asshole!
BL: I know what it was, you're too damn short to see over the chairs in our lockerroom, aren't you? You never saw them coming!
<Nayr speaks as he leaves the room.>
N: Jesus, I can't believe how ignorant you are...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:32:13 GMT -5
*Fade back in to the palatial IHOP locker room where Skurge and The Amnesiac review their strategy*
The Amnesiac: Do you have your Moose checklist?
Skurge: I suuuure do.
<Skurge pulls out an old tyme scroll. It drops to the floor and he begins to read>
Skurge: Step 1 – make sure Moose respects your trust.
Step 2 – make sure Moose trusts your respect.
Step 3 – make sure Moose’s blood is respectful of your trust.
<We see the officially licensed IHOP clock spin out of control as Skurge continues to read>
Skurge: <as blood is pouring out of his eyes> Step 452 – Failure to respectfully respect Moose’s trusting blood will anger Moose. Trust him.
Step 4… Fuck this noise. I need a drink. Tell me aboot Seamus.
The Amn: <reviews his notes> Let’s see. Irish drinking songs. Car bomb. More drinking songs. He’s like Darby O’Gill without the little people. That’s really about it.
<They both look around>
Skurge: Where’s Solly?
The Amn: Still in his booth.
Skurge: Shit. It’s been three fooking hours, eh?
<On cue, the door to SYB’s spacious video booth opens and a flustered SYB walks out>
Skurge: What took Joo so long?
SYB: You asked me to watch video of Poe… so I did.
The Amn: And? What should we look for in the ring next Wednesday?
SYB: The ring?
The Amn: The wrestling ring, donkey nuts.
SYB: …
The Amn: At Mayhem?
SYB: OH! Shit brother, I dunno. I didn’t watch any of his matches.
<Skurge and The Amnesiac look at each other>
Skurge: Then what the fuck have you been looking at for three hours?
SYB: These.
<He flings a trio of DVDs at Skurge’s feet>
Skurge: Let’s see what we have here:
G’s up, Poe’s down
2 Girls 1 Poe
Three Men And A Baby
<Skurge and The Amnesiac stare at SYB who shrugs his shoulders>
Skurge: Wow...
The Amn: Just...
Skurge: Wow.
FADE
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:32:42 GMT -5
From inside the rather pederstrian office of General Manager the Rick, intense arguing can be heard.
GMtR: You WILL defend against Larson & Nayr!
Lucios: No. We wont.
Phantos: Seriously, Boss. If you keep throwing all these undeserving teams at us, nobody is going to take these championships seriously. any two guys you throw together are serious contenders? The fans aren't buying it.
Lucios: We have worked hard to restore glory & respectability to the tag team division. We deserve better.
GMtR: Yeah, like you RunDEA guys have anything to teach me about respect.
Phantos: *batistalaughs* Our comrades in arms have interesting ways at getting our point across. That's the great thing about Run DEA. We all have our different approaches, and yet we have the same priorities.
GMtR: ENOUGH! You are STILL defending those titles this week against Larson & Nayr
Lucios: (Produces a manilla folder from his side.) We were afraid you'd take that stand. Here. Perhaps this will convince you.
GMtR: (scans the documents inside the folder) FUCK! Get your FUCKING asses the FUCK out of MY FUCKING OFFICE!
Phantos: I'm sure you will see things our way.
(Phantos & Lucios leave. Rick slumps in his chair, grasping his forehead. he reaches for the whiskey bottle in his desk and pours himself a large drink. We cut to the Champions walking the hallway. )
Phantos: I think he got a little mad at what we showed him.
Lucios: Good. He'd better change that match like we asked or he won't like the consequences.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:32:59 GMT -5
Poe, Moosehead Jack, and Seamus McNasty are seated around a table. Seamus is throwing back a couple of beers. Selena is hopping around behind Poe as only Selena does.
SM: Your girl seems excited, Poe.
SG: Of course I’m excited! This is like the best team ever, omigosh, we have my Master, Uncle Moose, and you, the drunken Irish dude.
SM: Gotta love titles.
Poe: Remember those letters I sent you?
SM: Of course I do. Damn things creeped me out. I still get the willies just thinkin’ ‘bout ‘em.
MHJ: I was always curious about those.
Poe: And hasn’t everything I said about the Boy and his friends come true?
SM: Aye, they ‘ave. And that was only some of the letters.
Poe: I said the Boy would use his money and his sisters to gain support here. Now he’s managed to make himself part of the dominant force in this company. He thinks it’ll protect him.
MHJ: He is quite stupid.
SM: Look, fellas, your vendetta against Darling and all the other Run DEA folks is your business, not mine. In fact, I must say they’ve been somewhat kind to me in the past, if ya know what I mean.
Poe: Look at it this way, Seamus. They have all the gold. Isn’t that what you’re after?
Seamus says nothing.
SG: They don’t have the monkey belts!
MHJ: I think we will have those after Wednesday boys.
Poe: I do look forward to hurting those clowns again.
Seamus slams his mug down on the table.
SM: Poe, I’ll give what you’ve said some thought.
Seamus looks at Moosehead Jack and points his thumb towards him.
SM: But where does he fit inta all this?
Poe: Where do you?
Moosehead Jack just grins and gets up and walks away.
SM: You need a better pitch lad, but like I said, I’ll give ‘er some thought. Now take your little girl and run on. I’ve got some serious drinkin’ to do.
SG: You mean thinking?
SM: No luv, I didn’t stutter. I said drinkin’ and I meant drinkin’. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll see you Wednesday.
Poe takes Selena by the arm and they leave the locker room.
SG: Pfft, that went well.
Poe: Patience my goddess.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:33:26 GMT -5
<Skurge walks back into the room>
Sku: I got another one! You must bloody Moose’s trust to respect his fear and……
<Skurge looks up and sees Moose, Poe and Seamus standing there>
MHJ: Time's up, Skurge
Sku: Your world boss
<Skurge tries to attack but before he can, Moose rams the tip of his barbed wire bat brutally into his solar plexus. Skurge doubles over, gagging his wind out. Poe and Seamus join in and brutally beat down Skurge.>
Mysterious Voice: Two things never happened again after that. IHOP never mocked Moose again…..
<we cut to a Canadian Hospital where Skurge, wheelchair-bound and wearing a neck brace, is loaded onto an ambulance for transport. Behind the fence stands SYB and The Amnesiac, watching. >
MV:...and Skurge never walked again. They transferred him to a nursing home in Canada. To my knowledge, he lived out the rest of his days drinking his food through a straw.
MHJ: So what do you think?
GMtR:……….
MHJ: Well?
GMtR: You want me to ok you PARALYZING Skurge?
MHJ: It would be a great angle!
<Kayfabe is heard outside the office pounding on the door>
GMtR: Great, now you have HER all worked up. Look, you want to deal with IHOP and their shit, find a different way to do it.
MHJ: Why?
GMtR: Wh……..WHY? YOU WANT TO PARALYZE HIM! I………GET OUT OF HERE!
MHJ: Fine.
<Moose grabs the door knob and jerks the door open and Kayfabe immediately attacks and the two of them brawl down the hall>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:33:45 GMT -5
(We head to the Ultimo Inc. HQ. where Steele is sitting behind his desk with Tytan at his side in his normal "bad ass" stance.)
Steele: Well it looks like the time has finally come Firewoman. All the shots to the ribs, electrocutions, and blowing up stuff finally come down to you and Tytan facing each other in the ring.
(Tytan now becoming a man of few words smiles.)
Steele: You ask for us to stay out of your way this week, and I agree maybe that is the best thing for both of us too do. It will be a good idea to give those ribs of yours a rest. Before Tytan breaks them. On Mayhem it will be time to take our little war to the next level. At Mayhem we begin to put the Fire out!
(Just then Mr. Biggs Ultimo Inc. new head of Security enters.
Mr. Biggs: Steele, the convoy is ready to move.
Steele: Thank you Mr. Biggs. (Back to the camera) In case you are wondering this is Mr. Biggs. Ultimo Inc's new head of security, And my own personal body guard. Tytan can't be around all the time he has other business he has to take care of. Isn't that right Mr. Biggs?
Mr. Biggs: I am here to do a job and that is the protection of you and this company.
Steele: It seems the stakes are being raised so I decided it was time to play along. See you soon Firewoman.
(Fade)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:34:06 GMT -5
(Later on in the Ultimo Inc. Convoy. Mr. Biggs and Steel are discussing things.)
Steele: I still don't understand it. Poe who has talked about all this hatred for Darling had the chance to snap the boy's neck and Firewoman made him stop and he did.
Biggs: There's something I still don't trust about him.
Steele: Aggreed, the Gods and Monsters partnership is an affective team but there is something there that has always kept them from being the best.
Biggs: Other then Poe worring more about Selena then his own partner?
Steele: That isn't even the issue anymore. What is the history between Poe and Firewoman?
Biggs: What do you want me to do boss?
Steele: Keep and eye on this. Something isn't right here and I need to have our bases covered if something does happen.
Biggs: Understood.
(Fade)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:34:31 GMT -5
*We cut live to Springfield Hospital in the hallway where the room of Davin Moreland is. The Unnamed Doctor goes to his room and knocks on the door of Davin's room and walks in, talking at the same time*
UD: Well, Mr. Moreland, you seem to be coming...
*He looks up and sees the bed is empty. The Doctor mashes the Nurse Call button on the wall. A Nurse who is far too hot to be a real nurse comes running*
NWIFTHTBARN: Doctor? What's the problem?
UD: He's gone! Where did he go?
NWIFTHTBARN: There are a couple of nurses here a few minutes ago that said they were moving him.
UD: He wasn't supposed to be moved.
NWIFTHTBARN: He wasn't?
UD: Can you identify who took him?
NWIFTHTBARN: Well, no, I mean, they were all wearing scrubs and masks. Well, 2 of them were wearing masks on their heads, which was weird. The little one said "Helllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooo Nurse!" But, I didn't think anything of it because I'm a nurse.
UD: We should call GM the Rick...let him know Mr. Moreland left ADA. There's no way he should be competing this week. Hell, for the next 10 weeks.
*Hard Cut to a group of Familiar People dressed in hospital scrubs and masks wheeling something in a wheelchair covered in a blanket under dark of night. Probably so no one sees what they're doing. Way to go screwing THAT up, Ninja-Cams. We see them enter the arena side door and start stripping off their scrubs and heading to the Run DEA Locker Room, Presented by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels. They all make it inside without further incident.*
DM: *still weakly* Davin Moreland thanks Run DEA for coming to get Davin Moreland. Davin Moreland has a match with Stank this week. Dr. Dumbass wasn't going to let Davin Moreland go for a month at least. Davin Moreland is fine. Davin Moreland is a fast healer. Davin Moreland's rate of recovery is legendary.
SD: Davin Moreland is still in no condition to do much of anything yet.
DM: Davin Moreland would remind Samantha Darling that it's only Saturday. Davin Moreland has 4 more days before having to wrestle Stank.
FW: And then what you crazy son-of-a-bitch? I KNOW you've got something up your sleeve for this week too. You're seriously going to get yourself killed.
DM: So be it, Intercontinental Champion Firewoman. Davin Moreland notes the old wrestler's adage. "You're gonna leave on your back, one way or the other." Davin Moreland would rather die before Davin Moreland gets old.
AD: Seriously you guys. He knows what he's doing. If he really couldn't go, he'd beg out of the match. No sense in trying to kill someone else, right?
DM: It would depend on who "someone else" is, wouldn't it Alexander Darling?
AD: Fair point.
*Phantos and Lucious squat on either side of the chair*
L: Davin, you know we've always given you a lot of rope to hang yourself with...
P: Stopped taking your meds before a match...
L: Beating down people just so you could...
P: Watching your drunk as....I mean...drunk "self" night after night while you miraculously keep your title...
L: We never get in your way, man.
DM: Davin Moreland has always admired Tag Team Champions Phantos and Lucios for allowing Davin Moreland to be Davin Moreland.
MR: Yo, das my line. Jus Manny bein Manny, joo know?
*Curt "The Golden God" Schilling comes out of nowhere with a baseball bat and just starts destroying Manny with it. They powder out to the hallway*
P: *looks with his mouth open at the scene that just happened, shakes his head, and snaps back into reality* We're just saying...
L: We'll stop you if we have to D. We're gonna work you out the day of the show, and if you can't go to our standards...
P: We're pulling you from the card. Captain's decision.
DM: Fair enough, Tag Team Champions Phantos and Lucios. Rest assured however, that Davin Moreland will be more than ready to go. Davin Moreland will emerge victorious this week; and hopefully put an end to Stank once and for all. Davin Moreland is determined. Davin Moreland is focused. Davin Moreland ain't missing this match for the World.
*There's some idle chatter between everyone for a minute before Firewoman, Samantha, Phantos and Lucios all decide it's time to adjourn to their own suites. This leaves Davin (still in the stupid wheelchair) with the Darling Twins*
LD: You're crazy, you know that?
DM: Davin Moreland knows that.
LD: Phantos is right too. I'm gonna be at that workout, and if you can't go, you're not wrestling.
DM: Davin Moreland is wrestling.
LD: Then Davin Moreland will perform well in the workout first. Otherwise he won't be. You got it?
DM: Davin Moreland's got it, Executive Partner Alexis Darling.
LD: Fine. I'm going to go look for that...thing, in my room. Brother Dear, will you help me look for it?
AD: In a minute. I want to talk to the champ first.
LD: *apparently off-put by the refusal* Fine.
*She leaves*
AD: Ok, can we drop the "Davin Moreland" bullshit now?
DM: Are the doors locked?
AD: Yup.
DM: Windows?
AD: Yup.
DM: Heating Ducts?
AD: Dude, I've got you if Kayfabe comes in.
DM: Fine. What?
AD: Listen Champ, I want you to think seriously about not wrestling this week. I mean, come on, you never take a week off - you're out there every week. One week won't kill you.
DM: Davin Mo- I mean, I haven't missed a week due to injury since I came back to the OOWF, and I don't intend to start now. I'm wrestling this week. Stank's not going to have anything to say.
AD: Is that what this is about?
DM: Yes.
AD: God, you're insane.
DM: This is probably true. However. It's MY responsibility to end Stank once and for all, and by God, I'm going to be the one that does it. Whether it's this week or not; whether it kills me in the process or not - I will make sure that it happens. You do understand, don't you?
AD: *thinks for a moment* Yeah. I understand completely.
DM: Alright then. *changes back into douchebag demeanor* *batistalaughs* Davin Moreland is tired. Davin Moreland has a long day tomorrow. Davin Moreland is going to bed, and hopefully Davin Moreland will have full use of Davin Moreland's legs tomorrow. *Batistalaughs* And if not? Davin Moreland still has two more days to be Davin Moreland again.
AD: Yeah. If you need me...
DM: Davin Moreland will find Alexander Darling. Thank you.
*they go their separate ways. Fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:34:52 GMT -5
<Moose is walking down the hall when he spots Tyson Kincaid coming out of his locker room>
MHJ: Kincaid!
<Tyson spins around, ready for a fight, he sees it is Moose and he quickly scans the hall for anyone else>
MHJ: Don't worry, its just me
TK: What do you want?
MHJ: Well, I thought about what you said last week, and I have to admit, you put up one helluva fight. But I am still not convinced
TK: I don't have to prove myself to you Moose
MHJ: No, you don't. You're right. Have fun fighting Run DEA on your own, I am sure the numbers game will work out great for you
TK: WAIT. Wait just a second. <pauses for a long time considering what to say> What did you have in mind?
MHJ: You have Crete this week
TK: Yeah? So?
MHJ: Hurt him
TK: What?
MHJ: You heard me
TK: But......why? I mean, he has never.......
MHJ: That's the deal Kincaid. You want to go it alone? That's fine. You want someone to have your back, you know what you have to do
<Moose turns and walks away leaving Kincaid staring and deep in thought>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:35:14 GMT -5
Firewoman is looking out a window on the second floor of the arena and LAUGHING~! at something with Lucky, who also appears to be amused. Alexis Darling comes walking up
LD: That man is incredibly frustrating
FW: You're really *laughs* going to have to narrow down which man you are talking about.
LD: Davin.
FW: Davin Moreland is frustrating. Davin Moreland is crazy. Davin Moreland is *laughs*.....
LD: Hysterical. I hear enough of that from him. What are you two laughing at?
FW: Look down there.
Firewoman points down to the parking area wherein the Ultimo, Inc. motorcade of incredibly over the top security has parked their convoy.
LD: What is all that for?
FW: Apparently, it's all for me.
LD: You?
FW: Yeah...can you imagine? Little ol' me.
LD: Do we really need to go through your history?
Lucky: She's got a point. *laughs* but seriously... I mean the Rick has already ruled NO EXPLOSIONS.
FW: Yeah, and he's already reminded me of the NO MURDER rule, off camera.
LD: Plus, Alexander's phone call to your boyfriend has you taking your meds again so...
FW: For now. And tell him I will pay him back for that. But even without that....seriously? I mean special forces security experts?
Lucky: You have say this for him. He is taking you seriously.
FW: As well he should. *she faces the camera* Tytan, I'm not sure if it was your idea, but congratulations on the increase in IQ if it was. I made a promise that I'd keep it all in the ring this week, but make no mistake... if I wanted? There wouldn't be enough private security, mercenaries, or special forces to stand between us. So go ahead and blow all your money, Steele.
LD: Who did you promise?
FW: Damn, Lexie, you're awfully tense. I think you need a massage......
LD:.......
FW:........
LD: We'll be back later, Lucky.
Lucky: You want me to go too? I could like....hand you a towel or something?
FW: No.
LD: No.
Lucky: Damn.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:35:39 GMT -5
All the wrestlers are gathered in the catering area huddled in the usual groupings and talking to each other…finally Firewoman yells out to everyone… Firewoman: “Ok, this is all fun and all but why are we all here and who called us together?” Moose: ”…..” Eric: ”……” Poe: ”……” Alexander: “Well I received a letter from OOWF offices telling me to make sure I was here at 4pm Sunday?”
Just then the double doors bust open and in drives Seamus McNasty and Gaelic Storm on the forklift full of fun…Seamus is dressed up as Santa Claus and Rory and Liam are dress as elves…Connor, Shawn, and Tommy are all dressed in red sleeveless suits and Santa hats…
Seamus: “Hohoho…hohoho…hello boys and girls, Seamus Claus is here…I would like to read a letter from the Rick…
Dear OOWF Talent, I want to thank each of you for your hard work this past year. Your tireless work ethic and commitment to put the best wrestling show together for the fans week after week has not gone unnoticed. You have put your bodies on the line and for your efforts OOWF would like to extend a $100,000 bonus to every wrestler on the roster. We would also like to give the booking committee an additional $75,000 for writing some of the best matches in recent memory. In the spirit of this holiday season we ask that everyone relax, forget about storylines, petty differences, history, and feuds and have fun this afternoon. I have left Seamus as the master of ceremonies, catering has all the food, the DJ will be here to play request, and Forklift is loaded with a full bar…have fun and Happy Holidays.
With that Seamus jumps down off the forklift with bags full of gifts…
Seamus: “I have gifts for everyone…hohoho, everyone get ready here comes Seamus Claus..”
Seamus: “First up Moosehead….hohoho come here ol’ one eye…I have for you, one floor lamp with lamp shade, and a copy of the CD, Psalm 69 autographed by Alain Jourgensen…it says Moosehead Jack all the best and fuck off and a Halifax Mooseheads hockey jersey…
“Hohoho…and I don’t mean Alexis…hohoho just kidding I do mean Alexis….no really just kidding…Brian, I mean Alexander come on up…for you I have a copy of “Have More Money Now : A Common Sense Approach to Financial Management autographed by John Layfield…it says… DEA thanks for the tips, you cost me more than my first marriage and lastly the Barely Legal video collection volumes 1- 20.”
“Alexis for you I have a $500 dollar gift certificate for Victoria’s Secret but somehow that also seems like a present for Zander?”
“Hohoho now, now, be nice, nice where is Solly, hohoho, come here Solly….”
Seamus takes off his hat and Santa beard and replaces it with a Rabbi Hat with attached hair curls…
Seamus: “Oyvay…Solly for you I dress up like Hannukah Harry?...I have for you a new sevivon and some Parve chocolate coins, a new crystal Menorah and the Rocky DVD collection?” Seamus takes a break to drink whiskey from his bottle and then puts the Santa hat back on
“OK where’s DH…huh still can’t find the little bastard ahh…well Spin here is a phone with 200 prepaid minutes on it so he could call someone before he goes all MIA…and for both of you here is the Definitive Collection Mini LP by Led Zeppelin.”
“hohoho Where’s Crete….hohoho there you are…for you I have a new Xbox system and a copy of Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe and a The Christopher Reeve Superman Collection DVD…”
“Poe…where’s Poe…no Firewoman sit down I said Poe not ho….Poe for you I have an Egyptian Eye of Horus Box made of gold and silver, a Selana Gomez 2009 Calendar and I have an email from Jay Mariotti that just says fuck you…”
“Team Aquafina for you I have the George Carlin: All My Stuff DVD collection and the Richard Pryor: ...And It's Deep Too! The Complete Warner Bros. Recordings CD these ought to teach you boys a cuss word or two”
“Davin for you I have the NBA Dynasty Series - Boston Celtics - The Complete History DVD and an autographed copy of Drive by Larry Bird…it’s says… because go fuck yourself, Larry Bird”
Tytan for you I have an autographed copy of O Holy Cow!: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto, in it he wrote “Fuck you Eddie, tell you wife I said hello… I also have an I Love Hackensack T-shirt and a bowl of cheesy potatoes”
“Eric-o-smack…for you I have an autographed poster of the Rock that says, Eric shove this up your candy ass…the Rock, I also have a book Fifty Places to Play Golf Before You Die: Golf Experts Share the World's Greatest Destinations by Chris Santella and a Atlanta Braves - Mr. Potato Head”
“Chris Cole…for you I have NBA Dynasty Series - New York Knicks - The Complete History DVD, New York Yankees (Yankee Stadium, Bronx) Sports Framed & Matted Poster Print and a 2005 Ike Hilliard Framed Autographed Photograph that says… Chris tell your sister I said hello…Big Ike”
"Firebabe, for you I have a new leather flogger and cowboy outfit, an auotographed Rush CD that says "Fire thanks for the fun time in Dayton...the creme cleared it all up, Neil" and a Patrick Roy Hockey Jersey..."
Stank…for you I have…..
And so it went long into the afternoon with all the OOWF superstars getting presents and having fun…the food was wonderful whiskey, rum, wine, beer and mead flowed and everyone for the time being forget about the drama that is OOWF, truly celebrating the season and enjoying each other company. Seeing friends and rivals laughing and realizing that even in this little corner of the world called OOWF, we still have so much to be thankful for, we still have this ragtag motley band of fellow travelers to share the journey with, so tomorrow the sun will shine, the longest night of the year will be behind us, the hassles of life will return, feuds will continue, and the OOWF will return to the regular scheduled mayhem but for now happy holidays to all and to all a good night”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:36:09 GMT -5
*FADE IN TO THE END OF THE ABOVE CHRISTMAS PARTY*
Seamus Claus: And finally, this statistical calculator for Lucky.
Lucky comes up to claim his present, grudgingly. Seamus Claus holds up the empty bag.
SC: That's all, OOWF! Everyone enjoying their presents?
From behind the crowd, The Amnesiac speaks up.
AMN: Excuse me... I didn't get anything.
SC: Wait... who are you?
AMN: I'm The Amnesiac.
SC: No, I'm sure I gave you something earlier.
AMN: No, you certainly didn't.
SC: Do you even work here?
AMN: Yes... jesus, of course I work here. How the fuck does everyone keep forgetting about The Amnesiac?!
Seamus shrugs, ruefully. He proffers the empty sack towards The Amnesiac.
SC: You can have this, if you want it.
The Amnesiac sighs loudly, turns on his heels and walks out of the locker room. After a few moments, he comes back in with a machine gun under one arm.
AMN: IHOP! GET OUTTA MY WAY!
SYB and Skurge duck and leap out of the line of fire as The Amnesiac opens up on the assembled crowd.
AMN: THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR FORGETTING THE AMNESIAC, YOU SONS OF BITCHES!
Gunfire echos through the lockerroom, as OOWF superstars are laid to the ground, with huge gaping bullet wounds. A voice can be heard over the mayhem.
Voice: The Amnesiac!
A moment passes... the camera shows all of the dead wrestlers, strewn about the lockerroom. The voice can be heard once more.
Voice: The Amnesiac! Are you gonna go up there here and get your present?
We suddenly see SYB gently shaking The Amnesiac, who has nodded off. He wakes up, and looks around, confused.
SYB: Dude... Seamus Claus just called your name. Are you gonna go get your present?
AMN: Wha? Wait... they remembered me?
SYB: Of course they remembered you, asshat! You're part of the OOWF family, aren't you? And more importantly, you're part of IHOP. How could anyone possibly forget The Aphrodesia- AMN: -Amnesiac- SYB: -Amnesiac!
The Amnesiac heads up to the front, where Seamus presents him with a present, which he proceeds to open.
*FADE TO BLACK*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:36:30 GMT -5
<The Amnesiac opens his present>
The Amn: A bottle of hooch? What the fuck?
Seamus Claus: Aye, that’s the gift that keeps on giving. Maybe next time you won’t insult the brilliance of Darby O’Gill.
<The Amnesiac grumbles and walks away while IHOP sets up Rock Band 2 on the stage.>
Skurge: OK we’re IHOP and we’re here to rock, eh?
SYB: <whispers> They know who we are, asscock. We’re the chimps, remember?
Skurge: Is The Amnesiac joining us?
SYB: Nah. He’s getting drunk in the corner. He mumbled something about Vizzini and going back to the beginning.
MHJ: Look at the birds up in the trees.
SYB: We’re not birds, we’re a rock band.
Skurge: <pulls out a piece of paper> OK it looks like we have some requests. Someone named MHJ would like to hear “Sunday Bloody Sunday” by U2, “Trust” by Prince, and “Respect” by Aretha Franklin.
SYB: Rock Band doesn’t have those songs.
Skurge: Huh. Hey Moose! This is for you, buddy.
<The duo starts rocking out to “Lazy Eye” by Silversun Pickups. Moose throws his Rum & Coke against the wall, picks up some broken glass, and heads up to the stage>
MHJ: If you want blood…you got it.
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:36:48 GMT -5
hohoho here you go Amnesiac....a 500pc 11.5g "Tri-Color Diamond Suited" Poker Chip Set w/Aluminum Case, a Dallas Cowboys Autographed Jersey...that says...Who? signed Emmit Smith and the new Grand Theft Auto game....hohohoho
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:37:18 GMT -5
<Moose charges to the stage and grabs SYB and puts a piece of broken glass to his jugular>
Dorothy Mantooth: Turn him loose!
Skurge: She said to turn loose of him, eh?
MHJ - Well, I'm not; so whaddya think of that?
Skurge: I swear to God, Moose, you doon't step aside, we'll tear you apart.
MHJ: <thinking about if for a moment, then looking at SYB> All right, you die first. Get it? Your friends might get me in a rush, but not before I make your head into a canoe.
The Amnesiac: He's bluffin'. Let's rush him.
SYB: No... he ain't bluffin'.
SYB: You're not as stupid as you look, Solly, and that’s amazing. Now tell them to get back.
SYB: Go on now, get back. Go on! Skurge! He'll cut me.
Seamus: And you, whoever you are, you're next.
The Amnesiac: It's the drunk forklift driver. You're so drunk, you can't hit nothin'. In fact, you're probably seein' double.
Seamus: I have two fists <holds them up for emphasis> one for each of ya.
Poe: All right, break it up now! Back to the party <to Moose, now is not the time>
<Moose seems to consider this then lets SYB go and smirks. We can see that SYB has clearly soiled himself. SYB gets indignant and manages a threat>
SYB: I'll see you soon. I'll see you soon.
Skurge: We'll meet again.
<people start to move around again, and the music starts up once again. The tension is just starting to melt away when Davin Moreland turns to Stank - who are both sitting there with crutches after last week's attempted double homicide>
DM: Gettin' kinda spooky around here.
Sta: What the fuck did you just say?
DM: I said it’s gettin' kinda spooky around here.
Sta: Oh FUCK NO YOU DID NOT
DM: What? I……ohh, no not THA….
<with that Stank jumps on Davin and the two of them roll around trading punches. GM the Rick walks in and sees IHOP standing there, with a soiled Solly, Moose with rage in his eye and broken glass on the floor, Davin and Stank rolling around in the mud and the blood and the beer, and Alexander Darling slipping roofies into Shawn Johnson’s drink when she isn’t looking>
GMtR: I hate this place
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:37:44 GMT -5
*Run DEA Luxury Suites presented by Starwood Hotels and Aquafina*
It's a few hours after the OOWF Holiday Party and most of Run DEA has dispersed to their own personal excursions for the evening. Alexander Darling is sitting on a couch with a completely coherent and totally not-drugged Olympic Gold Medalist Shawn Johnson as they watch some television. The two seem quite cozy when the camera pans over and we see Alexis Darling leaning in the doorway. OGM SJ continues to talk incessantly about whatever it is they are watching when Alexis Darling walks over.
OGMSJ: Hey there Alexis. That was some Christmas party, wasn't it? I mean, I had a lot of fun and there was drinking and everyone having a good time and no stupid chinks around.
Alexis: Yes, yes Shawny. But I'm gonna need you to go now.
OGMSJ: But me and Alex were just watching...
Alexis: Shawn, get out...now.
Shawn looks between Alexis and Alexander before quickly nodding and scurrying off into another room. Alexis walks behind the couch and leans over and places her hands on his shoulders. She leans in close to his ear, Alexis: You going to tell me what's got you so stressed?
Alexander: What makes you think I'm stressed?
Alexis: Because I know you brother dear. And I know something's been bothering you.
Alexander: You do know me too well sometimes sister darling.
Alexis: So, are you going to tell me or do I have to beat it out of you?
Alexander: I think you'd enjoy beating it out of me too much.
Alexis slaps Alexander lightly in the chest before walking around the couch and taking a strethed-out position on the couch with her legs over Alexander's lap.
Alexis: Now spill...
Alexander: It's just, what else do I have to do to prove myself to this company? I keep getting overlooked and it's getting fucking tiring to go out there every week and not get recognized for it.
Alexis: What do you want Alex? A fucking plaque or something.
Alexander: Wow, thanks for the compassion.
Alexis: Seriously Alex, what do you expect? We knew when we got into this that we'd have to accept not being the focal point and you said you'd be okay with that.
Alexander: I am okay with it Lexis. Truly, if Davin Moreland wants to be Davin Moreland and Davin Moreland himself at the top of the card, that's terrific. I'm happy knowing Run DEA controls this company. But there was a plan in mind that I'd be the one whose name would be cursed.
Alexis: You want to be even more hated than you are?
Alexander: Yes...no...I dunno Alexis. It's just I didn't think that I'd be stuck wrestling Chris Cole for fucking weeks on end. I'm better than that, hell I'm better than him yet I can't beat him now.
Alexis: Did you ever stop and think why?
Alexander: No, but I bet you have a theory on it.
Alexis: You go out think and expect to win instead of just winning. We both know you're better than Cole. You've shown recently just how good you can be. You beat LD, you took Davin to the limit and we both know that they've long passed Cole on the pecking order. But you go out there and just expect it to happen.
Alexander: So what do you want me to do?
Alexis: You go out there and you just fucking beat Cole. Don't let people keep overlooking you. You go out there and be Alexander Darling and show everyone what that means.
Alexander: And when I get overlooked again?
Alexis: Who fucking cares? If people want to keep overlooking you, it'll be their mistake just like it was Eric's.
Alexander: Who?
Alexis: You know exactly who I'm talking about.
Alexander: Yea, actually I do and I'm getting really tired of his name still being mentioned. He's gone. He's dead and buried and yet his segment keeps getting a place on the show. His belt is hanging in MY locker room as a symbol of what I'm capable of and HE's getting the video packages. I'm tired of being the forgotten one here and being looked past.
Alexis: And what are you going to do about it?
Alexander: First, I'm going to go out there and teach Chris "Dark Match" Cole what it means to step into the ring with Alexander Darling and Run DEA. Then, when I feel like it I'm going to take his little Onslaught Title and carry it like only a member of Run DEA can do. And once I'm done with him, I think it'll be time for the rest of this company to remember that there is more to Run DEA than meets the eye. There's Alexander Darling and he'll be there when you least expect it.
Alexis: Now that's a good brother dear. Are you feeling better now?
Alexander: Yea, but I always feel better when you're around.
Alexis: Damn right you do. I actually need to talk to you about one other thing.
Alexander: What's that?
Alexis: Not here, not now. But we need to come to a decision on whether we make the offer or not.
Alexander just nods before picking up a coffee mug and flinging it at the ninja cameraman. He hits it dead on and it shuts off.
*Fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:38:15 GMT -5
Bryce Larson & Nayr are sitting in their lockerroom, not wanting to talk to each other. GM The Rick walks in...
GMTR: Gentlemen, you have a big match this week.
BL: Yeah, we know. We're winning the tag titles this week.
N: You sound pretty confident for a guy who got pinned in our last match.
GMTR: Well...I...I just...I just wanted to....wish you both good luck!
BL: Good luck? Good luck! Since when did you care to wish anyone good luck?
GMTR: Well...I mean...look at what those guys already did to you. Maybe......maybe you're not totally ready? You know, if you want, I can delay the match. You want me to delay it?
N: The fuck? Um, NO!
BL: Why the hell would we want to want to delay the match. It's our shot!
GMTR: Well, I figured since you guys just lost, and you're obviously not on the same page...
BL: Fuck that. It's our shot, we're taking it.
N: Yeah. Even if I can't stand this asshole, I fully plan to be one half of the OOWF World Tag Team Champions with him.
GMTR: Oh...um, okay. Well, good luck then!
GM The Rick quickly leaves the room, leaving Bryce and Nayr puzzled.
N: What the hell was that about.
BL: No idea. Dude seemed paranoid...
N: You think something's up?
BL: Maybe. You know what, I once met this chick in Atlanta who knew The Rick. If he confides in anyone, it'd be her. I might have to make a phone call.
N: You think it might work?
BL: It's worth a shot. And midget--who the hell are you calling an asshole?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Dec 26, 2008 16:38:49 GMT -5
Davin Moreland is resting comfortably and sleeping soundly in his room in the RunDEA Suite of Locker Rooms, presented by Aquafina when he hears a loud BANG followed by shouts out in the common area. He gets up with a start, grabs his Trusty Rebar, and heads out the door in the flash, ready to defend his teammates. When he gets out, he smells something burning, and goes from a fast walk to a run. He arrives to find Firewoman, Phantos and Lucios laughing.
DM: Where’d they go…..did you fight them off?
P: Fight who off?
DM: You know….uh…..them!
L: What are you talking about?
DM: I heard shots. And something is burning.
FW: Ninja cams….
DM: Huh?
FW: You know, "Davin Moreland is sleepy, but Davin Moreland is ready for action. Davin Moreland is…"
P: Firewoman is getting really good at that…..
DM: Davin Moreland would like to know what the HELL is going on?
FW: Present from Lexie. A box of flashpaper!!
L: That still strikes me as a strange gift.
FW: It’s the only gift she got me that is available for your viewing, Luscious.
P: What about me?
DM: Davin Moreland is not amused. But….Davin Moreland is intrigued.
FW: Yes, your fireball was way off target if I recall correctly.
DM: Davin Moreland was totally on target. Poe moved.
FW: If you say so, D. But I watched the tape with Luscious, here, and your aim was clearly off.
P: Clearly.
L: Clearly.
DM: Davin Moreland has perfect aim.
FW: On most things maybe but…well, here. I’ll show you. {She pulls him over to where they have furniture moved out of the way, and a blow-up doll dressed as a cheerleader sitting in a chair. The doll has a burnt-out piece of paper on its face.}
DM: Does Davin Moreland even want to know where that came from?
FW: Probably not. I promised Alexander I wouldn’t tell…oops. Uh, Phantos, please put another face on the target.
P: Got it.
{Phantos pulls a photograph of Tytan’s face off of what appears to be a huge stack of photographs of Tytan’s face and attaches it to the face of the blow up doll.}
DM: Nice….
FW: Moose won’t let me use Tytan himself for target practice.
{Kayfabe peeks her head in the door and scowls. Firewoman tosses a fireball at her, but she jumps back and shuts the door, just in the nick of time.}
FW: Okay, Davin. Hit it.
Davin grabs the items from Firewoman, brimming with douchebag confidence. He makes a big goofy deal of getting ready….aiming….and FIRING. There is a loud bang, and a puff of smoke and flame which falls nowhere near the target, but actually about two feet in front of it, and a little to the left. Phantos and Lucios snicker, and Firewoman shakes her head, as Davin looks around trying to figure out what went wrong.
DM: Davin Moreland aimed just fine. Firewoman has defective stuff.
FW: First of all, you’re too far away. You have to step closer.
DM: Davin Moreland is not a fan of getting that close to fire.
FW: What? I thought Davin Moreland was fearless! Davin Moreland is invincible! Davin Moreland is—
DM: Getting really irritated. Fine, step closer.
FW: Yes. And time your throw so that you release the stuff just…..before…..it…..bursts….into……
{There’s another large bang and a flash as the photograph bursts into flame. Phantos and Lucios in a flash, no pun intended, go in to put out the fire.}
DM: Davin Moreland sees. Davin Moreland is a smart guy. Davin Moreland can get this. Does Firewoman have any more of that?
FW: Of course Firewoman—DAMMIT. Yes. Of course I do. I’ll put up another target.
DM: So…why is Firewoman practicing?
FW: You know what they say, Davin. Practice makes perfect. Never know when it’ll come in handy.
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