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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 17, 2009 19:47:11 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Springfield, MI
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u] Firewoman vs. Tyson Kincaid
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u] Fear Us vs. Chris Cole & Spin Hansen
OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match[/u] IHOP vs. Damon Wrath, Blitz & Nayr
Davin Moreland & Alexander Darling vs. Poe & Eric O'Mac Drink & Destroy vs. Moosehead Jack & Tytan Chris Evans vs. DH Magnusson Bryce Larson Gauntlet (vs. TBA, Matte & Concrete TG) Phantos & Lucios vs. TBA
Special 15 Minutes of Fame with The Chickenshit Heels
card subject to Michigan going bankrupt
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:31:49 GMT -5
Chris Evans is in the back getting his ribs checked out after his tag match with Tytan and Tyson Kincaid when one of the random Sexy Female Journalists comes to check on his condition.
SFJ: So Lionheart, you just suffered the first loss of your OOWF career. What are your thoughts concerning that?
Evans: Ah man, with guys like that, I had a feeling of doubt, which is probably why I lost. That, and probably my lack of experience with opponents of that caliber, and the fact that my partner didn’t even make an effort to break up the friggin pin, but enough about that. You see, that’s the kind of match I’ve been looking for, random hottie mic stand. Good way to see where I’m at in the title race, which right now looks like I’m going nowhere fast. Tyson was a good challenge, I’ve got a feeling him and I could have some great matches in the near future. Tytan, though…damn, I don’t want any part of that genetic freak show. I don’t even think that motherfucker is human. Do we even have a Wellness Program in this federation?
OOWF Doctor: The hell if I know. Anyway, everything seems to be fine. You’ll feel a little soreness for a few days, but you’ll be back in the ring by the next show.
Evans: Great to hear. I’m gonna go check out my next opponent.
Evans steps out and goes to the OOWF schedule posted on the wall.
Evans: Alright, I’ve got…DH Magnusson? Who the fuck is that guy?
SFJ: Thats the guy who took out Seamus tonight.
Evans: Ah man, are you kidding me? I am so fucked. Wait no, I can’t think that. Gotta keep my mind focused, no matter how tough this guy is. I just gotta get some info on this guy, but I have no idea where to start. *sigh*
Wait, I think I may know somebody. I'm gonna go make a phone call.
*fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:32:14 GMT -5
[Bryce Larson STORMS! into GM The Rick's office. STORMS!]
Erlana: Um, you can't go in the--
[Bryce STORMS! past her. STORMS!]
Erlana: Okay. At least he has conviction. I like that in a guy. And he probably doesn't live in his parents' basement.
[In GMTR's office.]
GMTR: To what do I owe this STORM!ing, Bryce?
BL: I sat front and center and watches Nayr struggle with Matte. Struggle with him!
GMTR: Yeah, but he won.
BL: Oh, sure, he won. Big freaking deal. It took him like 17 minutes to win.
GMTR: Actually, the official time was... [GMTR checks his notes.] ...Ten minutes and eleven seconds.
BL: Ten minutes & eleven seconds? Against Matte? C'mon Rick, Nayr impresses you?
GMTR: He won.
BL: I won, too.
GMTR: Your team won, which you barely seem to want to be a part of. And your team won by DQ.
BL: Right, whatever. Seriously, ten minutes and eleven seconds? That's ten minutes longer than you'd last in the ring, Rick. Or ten minutes longer than you'd last in bed with Erlana.
GMTR: Hey, whiskey does that to a guy!
BL: Sure...
Erlana: [Off in the background.] That excuse is bullshit!
GMTR: Shut up Erlana, or I won't let you stay in my parents' basement!
BL: Hey, focus. Back to me.
GMTR: Yes, you. Exactly why the fuck did you STORM! in here to begin with.
BL: My gauntlet match. The one where I prove I'm better than Nayr?
GMTR: Right, where you have to beat 3 guys, in succession?
BL: Yeah, that one. I want to know--
GMTR: Here's an idea, Bryce. You seem so hell bent on Nayr wrestling for ten minutes and eleven seconds, like that is too long or something, huh? Well, I've decided that when you Run the Gauntlet, you have exactly ten minutes--and eleven seconds--minutes to finish it.
BL: I can beat three guys in ten minutes and eleven seconds, easy. And I'm sure you'll try to go all poetic justice on me and put Matte in as the last opponent, huh?
GMTR: Um, no. Jobber first, Matte second.
BL: Then who's third? Another jobber?
GMTR: Not exactly.
BL: Who then?
GMTR: It's a surprise.
BL: Who the fuck is my third opponent! What, are you going to throw Nayr out there to get a pop? Maybe plan some big return around the Gauntlet? Listen, I hate to ruin your plans, but I'm--
GMTR: Concrete TG!
BL: What?
GMTR: Concrete TG! You're facing Crete last in the Gauntlet.
BL: What...wait. CTG? Why? I mean, he's...
GMTR: Good? Yes. But I'm an athlete of your caliber can handle it.
BL: ...
GMTR: ...
BL: ...
GMTR: Well, there you have it. Jobber, Matte & Concrete TG. Ten minutes and eleven seconds. Think you can do it?
BL: Well--
GMTR: I don't! Now GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE!
[Bryce leaves, walking past Erlana on his way out. Erlana slips something to Bryce as he walks by. Startled, he almost doesn't realize it happened. He looks back, and she shoos him out of the room.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:32:37 GMT -5
We fade into the gorilla position following the Tyson Kincaid and Tytan vs. Chris Evans and Chris Cole match. Kincaid and Tytan step through the curtain after their victory. Tytan looks satisfied with himself, but Kincaid seems a little frustrated. He grabs a bottle of water from a nearby table, opens it and pours a little over his head before drinking it. He turns around and glares hard at Tytan.
TK: Listen, I’m glad we got on the same page for that match, but you almost dropped the ball. You’ve got keep a clear head out there. I learned that the hard way a few months ago.
Tytan’s body stiffens and he returns Kincaid’s stare.
T: Don’t preach to me, Kincaid. I know she’s on your mind, too.
TK: Of course she is. The very thought of that bitch torments me more than you could ever know. But I realize that the best way for me to get revenge is to wait until I get her in the ring. That way, I won’t just take her title – I’ll take her career.
A voice calls out from off-screen.
Voice: Good news, Kincaid. You’ll only have to wait another week for that opportunity.
GM The Rick steps into frame.
GMtR: Next week, Firewoman and Tyson Kincaid, one-on-one, for the Intercontinental championship. I’m even looking forward to seeing this one myself.
Pleased with himself, Rick smiles at both men and leaves the scene. Upset, Tytan turns to Kincaid.
T: Why the hell do you get that match?
TK: Because I deserve it. And because you already had a shot at her and you blew it. Now if you’ll excuse me…
Looking focused, Kincaid turns and stalks away out of frame, cracking his knuckles as he walks. The camera shows a frustrated Tytan as the scene fades to black.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:32:57 GMT -5
(Firewoman is sitting in Flair’s sandwich shop sipping a coffee, and if you have been paying attention recently, you know what is going to happen next. A shadow falls across the table, and Fire looks up and sees Moose standing there. Fire doesn’t say a word, but goes back to sipping her coffee. Moose sits down and a long silence passes between them. Finally Moose speaks)
MHJ: So, that’s how it is then?
FW: Yeah, that’s how it is.
MHJ: You’ve made your choice. That’s fine.
(Moose stands up to leave, but before he does, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny stuffed moose that has clearly seen better days. Moose sets it on the table, turns and walks away without another word. Firewoman slowly puts her coffee down and picks up the moose and looks at it, lost in thought)
<Moose heads down the hallway when he is stopped by GM the Rick>
GMtR: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
MHJ: What the hell are you talking about?
GMtR: You damn near hospitalized Creech!
MHJ: Next time, I will
GMtR: You can not put your hands on a referee! You know that is a fine, right?
<Moose steps real close to Rick and snarls>
MHJ: Ask me if I give a fuck, you do what you have to do, and I will do what I want.
<Moose storms away>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:33:18 GMT -5
Drink & Destroy are walking down the hallway.
FF- I'm stoked, dude.
Stank- Yeah?
FF- Totally, man. I've been waiting for this reunion for a long time.
Stank- We just did a good long run not too long ago.
FF- Yeah, but I wasn't here for that.
Stank- Yes you were.
FF- Well, yeah. I was here, but I wasn't here.
Stank- What are you talking about. Like, your chi?
FF- Exactly. My chi wasn't here. My chi moved to Nevada and didn't have internet access for a few months. So I'm stoked. Plus I get a piece of Moose. I really don't want to stop that feud until he's permanently crippled.
Stank- Fuckin' shoot the bastard.
FF- I did that. A long time ago in an league no one cared about.
Stank- You were in TNA?
FF- Oh snap!
Stank- Were you confused by it saying Drink & Destroy on the card?
FF- Yeah. I had to add up all the guys in the fed to make sure it was actually us wrestling together. This stable with the same name as our tag team thing is confusing. Perhaps we need a new tag team name to reflect ourselves a little better.
Stank- Besides Drink & Destroy what would you call an unstoppable half-white half-black powerhouse?
FF- Barack Obama?
Stank- Did you really want to change our name or did you just want to make that joke?
FF- Just wanted to make the joke.
Firewoman- Hey Capslock, listen I've been having all these issues...
FF- Gosh Fire, there really aren't enough words in the English language to reflect how much I don't give a shit.
Stank- That was mean.
FF- The truth hurts sometimes. Let's go get a bagel.
Stank- I FUCKING LOVE BAGELS!!!
FF- I KNOW YOU DO!!!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:33:38 GMT -5
*Fade in to the palatial IHOP locker room. The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth, Skurge, SYB, and The Amnesiac are sitting around a table playing poker while Fezzik and Monkh play Rock Band 2…
SYB: So why were you chasing me after the match last night? Skurge: I really wasn’t. I was actually chasing Demon Wreath so he couldn’t kill you for nailing Congregate with that chair. Speaking of which, good shot. SYB: A-thank you. Also, I raise…um…five cents. Amn: A nickel? You’re kidding, right? SYB: Yeah, yeah, the jooish guy’s cheap. He only wants to bet a nickel. I’ve heard it all before. Amn: Actually, I’m just surprised you didn’t try to raise a penny. And the minimum is $50. SYB: Wow. $50? Uh, I’m gonna fold this time around. Skurge: There’s a shock. I’m in for $250. Also, who do we have this week? DM: You’ve got Damon Wrath again, but this time he’s teaming with Nayr and Blitz. SYB: I could totally go for a blintz. I’m starving. DM: It’s Blitz. Skurge: Yeah, I’m well on my way to getting blitzed, eh? Speaking of which, since you’re not in the hand, why don’t you grab me a couple more beers, Solly? SYB: Not until I get my blintz. DM: It’s Blitz! Amn: Easy, Dorothy. It’s just a name. Why are you defending the guy so much? Are you trying to…pick up the Blitz? DM: Fuck off, The Amnesiac. I am most certainly not trying to pick up the Blitz. You guys should take him more seriously, though. He’s pretty damn good, and he joined the Heroes Guild last night. SYB: He must be pretty happy aboot that. Amn: And proud. DM: And confident, too. What do you think, Skurge? What kind of mood is Blitz in? Skurge: Blitzin’s not a mood, it’s a reindeer. SYB: No, you’re confusing Blitz with MooseheadJack. Skurge: Right. Well, it’s $250 to you, Dorothy. DM: Fold. Amn: I’m out. Skurge: Oot, eh?
*Skurge rakes in his winnings as we…
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:33:57 GMT -5
Fade in to a random blonde SFJ standing with Nayr.
SFJ#1536: I'm here with Nayr the Halfling Luchador, one of the members of the Heroes Guild. Now, Nayr, you've been involved in some sort of feud with fellow stablemate "The King of Indies" Bryce "The Bad Ass Dragon" Larson lately, care to tell us about that?
Nayr: A g-g-g-girl! I mean, uh sure.
SFJ#1536: ...
Nayr: What?
SFJ#1536: Uh, your thoughts on the feud?
Nayr: Well, uh, we're gonna wrestle at the pay-per-view, so we should be able to settle everything then.
SFJ#1536: Uh, thanks... but you've also been placed in a mishmash team with Damon Wrath and Blitz to challenge for the OOWF Campeonas de Trios Championships. Are you prepared to- stop looking at my rack- team up with two people you barely know?
Nayr: Uh, um, I'm ready babe. Are you?
SFJ#1536: What?
Nayr: I mean, uh, yeah sure, I'd like to get some momentum going into the pay-per-view match, and having that title, uh, what was the title again?
SFJ#1536: For Christ's sake, stop looking at my rack.
Nayr: Oh yeah, sure.
SFJ#1536: ...
Nayr: ...
SFJ#1536: You little pervert. I'm gonna go interview Bryce.
Nayr: Look, wait, I'm sorry-
*The SFJ quickly leaves.*
Nayr: Stupid, stupid, stupid. *He punctuates each "stupid" by slapping himself in the head, then sighs and pulls out a game boy.*
*Fade out*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:34:22 GMT -5
[Fade into the same random SJF standing with Bryce Larson. They're already casually talking when the cameras start rolling.]
SFJ#1536: ... I used to live in Delaware myself.
BL: Really? What part?
SFJ#1536: Sandy Fork.
BL: Jay & Mark are from there!
SFJ#1536: The Briscoes? Yeah! I went to high school with them. Jay took me to his senior prom.
BL: Man, what a small world. How did you get into broadcasting?
SFJ#1536: I majored in it in college. It's been my dream since I was a little girl. I hope to anchor Sports Center someday.
BL: Well, they say appearance hold back some of the best broadcasters, because they don't have a good look. That obviously won't hinder you...
SFJ#1536: Oh my god, that's so sweet. You're such a sweet guy.
BL: Hey SFJ#1536, what is your name?
SFJ#1536: Sarah...Sarah Farrah Jacoby.
BL: Ohhh, SFJ, I get it. Nice touch.
SFJ#1536: Thanks. I go by Farrah.
BL: Okay Farrah. Did you need to get an interview done? As much as i love the company, I don't want to get you in trouble.
SFJ#1536: It's not important. I'm hungry........want to grab something to eat?
BL: Are you asking me out?
SFJ#1536: Um.....no, no, I wouldn't do that, I'm a professional.
BL: Well then I'm asking you out. How about we make it dinner instead. I'm at the hotel with all the wrestlers, what about you?
SFJ#1536: I'm there, too--in fact, here's my spare room key. Just come get me around, say 8?
BL: Sounds like a plan. But keep your key. I'm not one to rush into things, Farrah.
SFJ#1536: You know, you're really a great guy, Bryce. I'll see you tonight?
BL: Definitely, bye Farrah.
[SFJ Farrah leaves the scene, and Bryce smirks at the camera.]
BL: That's how it's done, Nayr.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:34:48 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is WALKING ~!~! outside the Run DEA Locker Room and Suites, presented by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels and makes his way across the hall to the Dunkin' Donuts Hospitality Tent*
DM: Good Afternoon Curt "The Golden God" Schilling.
C'TGG'S: Good GOOD afternoon, OOWF World Champion Davin Moreland. What can I do for you?
DM: Davin Moreland needs 2 extra large coffees.
C'TGG'S: How would you like those?
DM: Doesn't matter. They're not for Davin Moreland.
C'TGG'S: Hmm. Ok.
*Curt "The Golden God" Schilling prepares two coffees and puts the lids on them*
C'TGG'S: There ya go.
DM: Thanks, Curt "The Golden God" Schilling.
*Davin Moreland goes back to WALKING~! down the Hallway of Random Encounters. He passes "Ric's Sandwich Shop" and watches Moose and Fire have coffee together. They're so cute. He makes a right turn and happens upon a locker room. He knocks. Selena opens the door*
SG: What do YOU want?
DM: Poe.
P: I am here, boy. You've got some nerve coming here *he limps toward the door*.
DM: Davin Moreland has lots of nerve. Davin Moreland is nervy. Davin Moreland has balls of steel. Davin Moreland has a present for Poe the Kid Toucher.
*He takes one of the cups of coffee and THROWS IT AT POE, HITTING HIM IN THE FACE~! If THAT doesn't start a feud, I don't know what will. Davin calmly walks away as Poe yelps in pain. Davin continues down the hallway and knocks on another door. Eric O'Mac answers, and sees the coffee in Davin's hand*
EOM: Seriously? Coffee?
DM: Davin Moreland has to do something, since there was a senseless no contest followed up by a random tag match. This is pretty much the only way a feud can make sense.
EOM: *sigh* Ok, just not the face, ok?
DM: No problem.
*With that, Davin THROWS the coffee at Eric O'Mac's chest, and it explodes all over him*
EOM: THAT FUCKING HURTS!
DM: Sorry, man.
EOM: Ahhh....well see ya Wednesday, Davin.
DM: Feud is ON Eric O'Mac!
EOM: Yeah, yeah, ok, sure, whatever.
*Davin Moreland heads back to the suites*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:35:09 GMT -5
Outback Jack & LD Williams are drinking beers at a local bar in Springfield, Michigan
OBJ: BUUUUURRRRPPPPP!
LDW: The service here in Springfield is really good?
OBJ: No Mate, listen to the pronunciation. BUUUUURRRRPPPPP!
LDW: You want to call up Wally B. King to get some ladies for later this evening?
OBJ: I'm trying to ask how your day was?
LDW: Australian is a hard language.
OBJ: It is for the sofisticated.
"The Main Event" Chris Cole pulls up a chair.
Cole: Mind if I sit?
LDW: I don't. Do you OB?
OBJ: What's on your mind?
Cole: Looks like I'll be in the ring with you boys next week.
OBJ: Let me guess. You're here to tell us to shine up the Tag Belts for you and Spin?
Cole: No.
LDW: You're not here to blindside us and injury us before that are you?
Cole: No LD I think the two of us respect each other enough for that.
OBJ: I don't really respect you that much yet.
Cole: I'm not stupid. Spin & I have no chemistry together. We are clearly just being put into the match to feed the Champs. I get it.
LDW: You here something?
OBJ: I think Kayfabe is getting fucked off camera somewhere.
Cole: I'm just trying to have some casual conversation with some of the boys who have been on the road for years. We have a lot in common.
Outback still looks skeptical. LD looks more inviting.
Cole: I'll buy tghe drinks tonight.
OBJ: BBBBBBEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH!!!!
LDW: I know what that means. That means sit down and order, you are with us tonight.
OBJ: You are learning well my student.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:35:28 GMT -5
(Mr. Biggs and Tytan are having a discussion in the Ultimo Inc. Locker room.)
Tytan: So you are telling me Steele is in Japan trying to do some research in trying to find out what the connection is between Poe and Firewoman.
Biggs: I know it's kinda strange this obsession he has with her. In fact in some ways its getting to be a little twisted.
Tytan: You're telling me. At least the feud her and I have is for an actual hatred for each other.
Biggs: So how do you feel about Kincaid getting a shot at her next week?
Tytan: First off he told me I need to keep a clear head.
(They laugh)
Biggs: That coming from him.
Tytan: What he doesn't understand is I am focused on the endgame and that is when I take Firewoman's title and put her out of commission permanently. As for Kincaid he is just an obstacle in the way.
Biggs: Not to many things you can do with that. You can either go around it.
Tytan: Or go through it!
Biggs: I like how you think big man. So what now about this little partnership with Moose and Poe?
Tytan: We hate Run DEA that's it. So why not take care of business together?
Biggs: Point taken. But now you partner up with Moose and are going against D&D.
Tytan: One, I will enjoy getting my hands on these guys, it will be one hell of a fight. Two, a brother needs someone to watch his back who better to help him?
Biggs: Understood. Just want to make sure I understand where you are coming from.
Tytan: Got to report it back to the boss.
Biggs: Exactly, now let's get the hell out of here. I am done with Ohio
Tytan: Me too.
(Fade)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:35:49 GMT -5
Drink & Destroy are at a local bagel place, because Stank FUCKING LOVES BAGELS and FFC knows he does.
FFC: You know, I’m real excited about us tagging together, but it seems like there’s still something missing.
Stank: I feel the same way. Can’t figure it out, though.
At that moment, they see Johnny Adrenaline walking down the street, screaming into his cell phone. For the sake of continuing this promo, Johnny stops and walks into the bagel shop.
JA: Stank, I didn’t know you FUCKING LOVE BAGELS!
FFC: I did.
Stank: Why are you in this promo and not AA, considering AA’s writing it?
JA: It probably means he’ll come out of the bathroom or somewhere with a chair and give me a beatdown. That no-good bastard.
Stank: You know, that could be it.
JA: Of course that’s it. Why else would he be writing me into a promo he isn’t in yet?
Stank: No, I mean I think I know what that hollow feeling is about the Drink & Destroy reunion. It’s because we’re not fighting you and AA.
JA (keeping one eye on the bathroom): Well, you better get use to it, because I’m done with that football-losing monkey plugger. TCH is over with. Done for. Finished!
Stank and FFC look at each other, then at Johnny, then at each other again.
Stank & FFC: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stank: You guys are never going to break up. Come on, we know you guys. Who are you swerving? Are you going to take out Eric O’ Mac next week? Or is this a long-term deal to get revenge on Phantos and Lucios? When you get the titles back, can we do another run together?
JA: SHUT THE FUCK UP, STANK! The Chickenshit Heels are over with. Done! Done! Ended! You can end us! We’re already ended! You can end us! We’re already ended! Abuse of Power!
FFC: That just never makes any sense. So what’s the angle this time? Are you actually going to fight each other and then swerve people? Or is this all an elaborate hoax to sucker someone right away? Man, you guys are always so good at that.
Stank: Wait, wait, wait!!!! Don’t you see what he’s doing? I bet they’re setting US up! That’s what they always do! Johnny’s just confiding in us so we’ll get comfortable, and then AA will run in and be clubbering us and Johnny will join in and kick the shit out of us. But I’m one step ahead of you. Because FFC and I are going to attack you right now!
JA: Guys, guys! Stop! I’m serious! This is NOT a swerve! I really do hate AA right now! Watch, I’ll call him right now.
JA dials his phone and we see a split screen with AA looking at his phone, scowling and then deciding not to pick up.
FFC: I didn’t hear the phone ring. He must really not be here.
Stank: He probably just has it on vibrate. That’s it. I’m coming after you, AA! (Stank gets up out of his chair and starts tossing things around the bagels shop, searching for AA.) Where are you! You rat-cancer! When I find you, I’m not letting you swerve us this time! I’m on to you! AA!
FFC: You want a bagel?
JA: Might as well.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:36:12 GMT -5
In the main room of RunDEA Suites sponsored by Aquafina, the weekly meeting has begun, and everyone is assembled.
P: Okay, I guess the first thing to do is welcome back Alexander from his vacation and--
L: Wait, are we allowed to be talking?
FW: I think as long as you don't talk about your match, it's okay.
P: Thanks Fire.
FW: You're welcome Captain.
P: And welcome back to you too, Firewoman. I'm glad you and Alexis have settled your... uh, differences.
DM: Davin Moreland refuses to welcome back the quitter.
An uncomfortable silence follows, as Davin sits smugly, Firewoman glares daggers, and everyone else kind of shifts in their seat.
P: Okay, well.... I'd kind of like to say that in the future, as team captain... well....
L: What Captain Shyboy was trying to say is that he's the captain and should be consulted on all personnel matters, like hirings, firings, right?
DM: Quittings?
Firewoman stares more daggers into Davin
P: Right, that's what I meant. So going foward let's just keep me in the loop, okay?
DM: Davin Moreland doesn't think Phantos can be objective in this particular instance. Davin Moreland thinks Captain Phantos's feelings for the quitter would cloud his judgement. Davin Moreland thinks--
L: Davin Moreland should think that he made Phantos captain for a reason, and that is that he is completely capable of putting the best interests of the group first, and putting aside personal interests.
P: Right. That. So, this week, well, we can't talk about our match, but --
AD: But you guys are against two random jobbers who stand no chance against THE measuring stick.
FW: You two are the greatest tag team on the planet. This week's local job squad doesn't stand a chance.
DM: Davin Moreland thinks Alexander Darling and the quitter are right.
AD: [in kind of a whisper]Just let it go, Fire.
FW: It's fine, Alexander. Just Barely Not Drunk Davin Moreland will get over it soon enough.
DM: Davin Moreland doesn't get over quitters.
P: Now, I think we can agree that there was some significant encouragement to the "quitting," and that it doesn't matter anyway since Fire re-signed and -
FW: Yeah, well, Davin Moreland better get over quitters pretty quickly.
DM: Davin Moreland has standards. Davin Moreland will not tolerate someone who can't be trusted. Davin Moreland...
...and on and on like that. While he's droning on and on, Firewoman motions Lucky over and whispers in his ear. He looks at her with eyes wide, and she nods at him to go ahead. Lucky tentatively walks around the table, as Davin is still talking, and leans over and whispers in his ear. Davin stops his monologue, looks at Firewoman, who is smiling through the daggers now.
DM: Davin Moreland doesn't believe you.
FW: Firewoman never bluffs. Ever.
Another uncomfortable silence commences as Davin and Firewoman appear locked in some sort of mental battle.
DM: Davin Moreland is not happy with quitters.
FW: ....
DM: But Davin Moreland will tolerate them.
FW: Good enough. Moving on?
P: Right, moving on, Lucios and I have a match--
At that point the ninja cams go to snow, and then the scene fades to GMtheRick.
GMtR: Sorry guys. You broke the rules.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:37:01 GMT -5
Alexander: Fuck you Tyson. Stupid fuck. And Phantos & Lucios are the standard bearers of Tag Team Wrestling. Thank you all. Vote DevSop for Punster of the Year.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:37:39 GMT -5
Chris Evans is TALKING on his cell phone.
Evans: Hello, is this...
Unknown: Who the fuck is this and how the fuck did you get my phone number?!
Evans: Yep, its you. This is Chris Evans, and how I got this number is not important. What I do know is that you're the one who got me into this federation and right now, I've got a favor to ask of you.
Unknown: Fine whatever. What do you want?
Evans: Well, I've got this match against D.H. Magnusson coming up and the thing is, I have no idea who this guy is, or what he's like.
Unknown: You don’t know who he is? Didn't you watch this show before you started here?
Evans: I only started watching a few weeks ago. I'm fresh out of Storm Wrestling Academy. Prior to that, between wrestling training and working my old physical therapy job, I haven't had any time to do jack shit.
Unknown: Why not just look into the OOWF history?
Evans: You have any idea how long that would take me? I don't even know where to start. All I know is that he's a former Intercontinental champion, he held the tag team titles once, and by looking at the guy, I know that I probably can't even pick him up for some of my big moves. Dammit, why is GM The Rick throwing me into this situation?
Unknown: Oh cry me a fucking river. You graduated at the top of class of two of the toughest wrestling schools in the world and you’re worried about losing? Give me a fucking break! Plus you said yourself that you came here looking for competition. Well you got it, so quit acting like such a fucking pussy and man up! And besides, D.H. had a pretty bad win-loss record prior to his injury. He’s a tough bastard, but you can probably take him.
Evans: Yeah, you’re right. It’s just that I can’t stand losing. To me, it’s a sign of weakness. But hey, thanks for the info.
Unknown: Yeah yeah. Just don’t call me about this shit anymore. Also, try to go a little easy on him. I don’t know what kinda shit he pulled tonight on Seamus, but him and I have good history together. Just try to remember that during your match.
Evans: Fine. Oh yeah, thanks again. I’ll see you around….Firewoman.
*fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:37:58 GMT -5
*15 minutes later Stank walks back inside the bagel place and sits next to FF Capslock. Johnny Adrenaline is drinking a mango smoothie.*
Stank - I couldn't find him.
JA - SEE? Now do you believe me?
Stank - No. There's some sort of swerve going on here... Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice... uh... uh... hmmm... you DID fool us TWICE!
JA - Shame on me?
Stank - I should beat your ass on principle.
JA - There are no buyrates in that! We're not even feuding!
Stank - *SNAP* I KNEW there was a SWERVE here!
FFC - What are you talking about? Alan's not here.
Stank - No, but he wrote a promo involving us, distracting from the fact that we ARE fighting Moose and Tytan next!
FFC - Nah! There are no buyrates in THAT, either.
JA - Man's got a point.
FFC - Thanks Johnny!
JA - You're very welcome!
FFC - I love you, man!
Stank - Not THIS shit again.
JA - Really? You mean it FF?
FFC - No. Shut the fuck up, Johnny.
JA - That's really starting to hurt my feelings.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:38:32 GMT -5
Poe is MEDITATING after getting cleaned up. (Coffee? Really? That shit doesn’t come out of anything.) Selena comes back into the locker room, holding a sub from Ric’s Sub Shop (Half-Off Thursdays). Poe hears her enter the room and takes a deep breath. Selena hops over to Poe and sits in his lap. Poe rests his chin on her head as she bites into her sandwich. Selena then holds the sandwich up to Poe’s mouth.
SG: Bite.
Poe takes a bite of the sandwich.
Poe: That is good goddess. Turkey, munster…what’s the bread?
SG: It’s egg bread. The sandwich is called the Chuck Bartowski, whoever that is.
Poe: It’s good. Must be that new brunette Ric has working there.
SG: I bet she’s riding Space Mountain.
Poe: You know that’s a euphemism right?
SG: A what?
Just then there’s a knock on the door. Eric O’Mac pokes his head in.
EOM: Got a sec? Partner?
SG: Hey Cap’n…
Selena glares at Eric as he doesn’t seem to notice.
Poe: What is it Eric? Goddess, give us a moment.
SG: Fine *pout* I’ll go make the dolls.
Selena gets off of Poe’s laps and heads to her corner where she has a mini-altar and her supplies.
EOM: Dolls? I don’t wanna know. That girl creeps me out. Anyway, I know you got a full hate on for Darling, and I get that. But I want to kill that punk ass myself and I know you’re gunning for Davin’s title…
Poe: So you want me to leave the Boy to you?
EOM: …And I’ll leave Davin to you.
Poe: As long as we still function as a team, I can agree to that. You can have your piece of the Boy. I will get my hands on him in due time.
EOM: Alright then. Now remember…
Eric points to Selena.
EOM: Keep her away from me.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:40:05 GMT -5
*Back at the bar, Cole has bought a couple rounds for Fear Us*
LD: So Jack and I decided we were both fed up with the punks that come in here, cashing in on the work we did to build this federation, not showing respect...
OBJ: Mocking the very idea of respect...
LD: Exactly.
CC: So that's why you teamed up?
LD: Well, we'd fought each other enough times that we knew each other pretty well.
OBJ: And it was always business. We never really disliked each other.
LD: True.
OBJ: Now I never liked you, Cole, not from the very beginning. (drinks, belches) That was Australian for buying the drinks helps a little. But you have paid your dues over the years, and that counts for something.
CC: Like what?
LD: Like you could buy another round.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:40:28 GMT -5
Cole buys another round and continues chatting with Fear Us.
Cole: I feel the same way about all these stupid ass punks. Last week I teamed up with this Chris Evans guy. And that jerk had the nerve to ask me who I was? Fuck man, did he ever even watch OOWF before he got hired? I was the World Champion for god's sake.
LDW: It isn't 2006 anymore you know. Kids don't remember last week let alone 3 years ago.
Cole: The worst part is the little bastard cost me my match. And I seem a bit lost. The bookers don't seem to know what to do with me. I revive the Onslaught Division and then take a 3 week hiatus in promoing and job the title out to Darling. Then Darling loses it back to Seamus to further his feud with Eric. So the title is right back where it was before I was Champion. Did I even make a difference?
OBJ: BUUUURRRRPPP! You're making a big difference in my enjoyment of tonight.
LDW: I think you made a difference. You brought back the hard fought style of the title which was its original intent. So why don't you go and win it back from Seamus.
Cole: I had my eye on somthing else. Something I've never won. Something you've won before. Both of you. The Intercontinetal Title.
OBJ: She's a bute, she is.
Cole: I have never held that title and more importantly it is the last piece of the puzzle to become a Grand Slam Champion.
LDW: So go win that.
Cole: Seems like Firewoman is in a feud with 3 other people already. The booker would rather put my in random tag team matches.
OBJ: Looks like you pissed of the wrong people.
Cole: I guess I did.
OBJ: You know just because I'm started to like you doesn't mean LD and I aren't going to take you and Spin to the woodshed Wednesday for a beatdown.
Cole: I know. I'm expected a hard fought battle and for the team work of you too to overcome the stregth and experiece of Spin and myself eventually. Hey you seen Spin lately?
LBW: Can't say that I have.
(Cole looks down and notices the glasses are empty once again.)
Cole: I think we need another round.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:40:47 GMT -5
[Attitude Adjuster is cutting an OLD SCHOOL BLUE SCREEN PROMO~!]
AA: So sad that its come to this. After all these years of swerving everyone, eating sandwiches, and gambling... it's come down to this. But it's.... [grabs vibrating cell phone] ...what the hell is he doing?
[AA answers the phone]
AA: Will you stop calling me?? I'm trying to do a promo!! .......................... Oh, they are? Right there with you? ................................... Well in that case, SHUT THE FUCK UP JOHNNY!!
[AA pockets the phone and continues to promo]
AA: As I was saying, it's now time for Attitude Adjuster Alan Capps to go on his own, as an ATHLETE! As an athlete, Attitude Adjuster Alan Capps HAS NO EQUAL! I stand here today... [phones vibrates again] ...NOW WHAT??
[AA answers the phone hastily]
AA: WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU, JOHNNY?? ................. No, no, no, my bad, man! I thought this was someone else!! ......................... How was I supposed to know it was you?? You never call me during the week! I'm always the one calling you! ........................................ I know, I know, the check's in the mail. .................................... Yeah, I'm gonna take it out of Delhomme's ass too if I ever see the little bastard. ......................................... All right, bye, HEY! ............................................... Put me down for the Nuggets and the under. .............................. Thanks.
[AA pockets phone again]
AA: Like I was saying, it's time for Attitude Adjuster Alan Capps to go out on his own and achieve individual glory. And I'm starting right at the top with....
[As AA rambles on incoherently, the shot cuts back to the bagel place, where Drink & Destroy and Johnny Adrenaline are eating bagels and watching OOWF-TV on the set mounted on the corner wall.]
JA: See? "Individual glory." Me, me, me!
Stank: Could he rip off the Lex Luger leaving the Horsemen promo any worse? That punk ain't no athlete.
FFC: What's that make us then, partner?
JA: Badasses. That's what it makes you.
Stank: Boy, you sure are sucking up a bunch. I KNOW there's something going on here. And I still think that fat piece of trash is around here somewhere. He ain't never been one to pass up a breakfast or two.
JA: You just SAW HIM ON TV!
Stank: I know how you and your little ninja camera guy work. [aside to the passing waitress] Can we get the check? [/aside] If I find out you're scheming to squash an ant in our locker room, I'm gonna squash you.
FFC: What he's trying to say is BETTER WATCH YOUR ASS BUDDY!
[D&D walk out, leaving Johnny with the bagel bill.]
JA: Jerks.
[fade out]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:41:07 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is watching OOWF TV on OOWF Mobile on his Sprint PCS phone*
DM: "Lower Midcard" Chris Cole, Davin Moreland is very sorry Chris Cole has sunk to becoming an emo, whining, pussy bitch. Chris Cole used to be a great wrestler. Chris Cole used to BE someone. But Legendary LD Williams was absolutely correct. NOBODY cares about what Chris Cole did 3 years ago. Hell, 3 years ago, Rey Mysterio was a World Champion and today Rey Mysterio is jobbing to Mike Knox.
DM: *batistalaughs* Here is the reality. Chris Cole is NOT a legend. Chris Cole is a flash-in-the-pan who is desperate to reclaim Chris Cole's place on the card. Fact is, Chris Cole simply isn't talented enough to do that. Kids like Adams can kick Chris Cole's ass in the ring; and this is why Chris Cole doesn't get title shots. Chris Cole was given the Onslaught Belt to shut up and stop whining. Davin Moreland doesn't expect "the booker" to be handing out any more title shots to Chris Cole soon.
DM: And by the way, "Lower Midcard" Chris Cole? If Chris Cole is searching for a reason as to WHY nobody cares about Chris Cole anymore? Chris Cole doesn't have to look hard. Chris Cole can thank Davin Moreland for ending Chris Cole's main event days, whenever he's ready.
*Davin waves*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:41:24 GMT -5
Chris Evans is seen sitting in the OOWF Newcomers Locker Room.
Evans: “Main Event” Chris Cole, I’ve got a message for you concerning Wednesday’s tag match. And all I’ve got to say is this: I apologize. It was my fault that we lost. My arrogance got the best of me, and instead of going for the pin or wearing my oppoent down further, I went for my Skytwister Press to finish the match in style, and it bit me in the ass.
I also wanted to apologize for how I acted when I first saw you. The truth is, I did have some background on you, but if I had known you were a former champ, I would’ve been a lot more respectful, but even then, I should've treated you better man.
Today, I was doing some looking back, to my first promo, and how I basically buried my opponent. I now know I was way out of line for doing that, even if he did disrespect me. Its just that, I was so used to being the best in my wrestling training, and to come here and just act like I’m such hot shit in a fed that has talent that is so much more experienced than I currently am, well…was just inexcusable.
You’re probably gonna blow this apology off, and I really wouldn’t blame you if you did. I just wanted to be a man, and take full responsibility for our loss. And that’s all I've got to say.
*fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:41:43 GMT -5
Chris Cole is now piss ass drunk from hours of drinking with fear us. Seems like LD might be a bit tipsy as well. Outback Jack seems just peachy. The three of them have apparntly been watching OOWF TV at their local watering hole they've been drinking at.
Cole: Fuck that stupid piece of shit, Davin Moreland. That fucker is ALWAYS got some shit to say after one of my promos. I hope that fucker chokes on his breakfast and dies.
OBJ: You might have had a bit too much to drink mate.
Cole: Don't tell me what I've had. "Lower Midcard"? Who does that shithead think he is? Given the Onslaught Title? I was a better Onslaught Champ then him and a hell of a lot better World Champion then he will ever be. He is more worried about boning that Darling skank then being the greatest Champ he can be. And he wouldn't even be Champ now if you (pointing at LD) had focuses on winning your World Title back.
LDW: True enough. And it looks like that Evans kid realized he was being a shithead and wants to be more respectful. He might have some potential.
Cole: He's probably just a tool though. Stupid kid. And another thing about Moreland. What the fuck is with this 3rd person bullshit? Does he think he is The Rock?
OBJ: He's the Champ and he who wears the gold makes rules.
Cole: I know that. I was a part of that shit. Except that Rick kept trying to change the rules on me. What a little shit he was.
LDW: You know, getting back on the Moreland subject for a minute, him promoing after you do all the time is actually a good thing and fairly flattering.
Cole: How the fuck do you mean?
LDW: Well it means no matter what he says you actually are relevant. He wouldn't bother promoing against an actual nobody. He recognizes that his star power has risen tremoundously because of his feud with you and even though right now he is on the top and you are lower then you'd like he recognizes that he needs you to stay strong, he needs you to stay relevant, and he needs you to stay a rival to keep his stock up.
OBJ: I don't Davin's that smart.
LDW: Maybe not consciously but he is doing it. And Moreland is skewing his facts. He calls you a flash in the pan even though you were at the top of the Tag Team and Singles scene for over 2 years which is longer then most can attest to.
Cole: I just hate that guy so fucking much.
LDW: Keep that hate. Go about your business and you will get to extract revenge upon it in time.
Cole: Do you think I'd have more success if I went face?
OBJ: BBBBBUUUUUURRRRRPPPPPP! Couldn't hurt.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 22, 2009 13:42:08 GMT -5
*Run DEA Luxury Suites sponsored by Starwood Resorts and Aquafina*
*Note Aquafina Endorsement vetoed by GMtR as a result of the suspension of The Standard Bearers of Tag Team Wrestling; Team Aquafina, Phantos & Lucios*
Alexander Darling walks into the suites and notices OOWF World Champion Davin Moreland and the lovely Samantha Darling watching some television. The rest of Run DEA must be off being the awesomest stable in the world, but I don't really have the motivation to think of where. Alexander walks around the couch until OOWF World Champion Davin Moreland sees him.
Davin: Hello Alexander Darling. How is Alexander Darling doing on this fine Friday? Before Alexander answers, Davin Moreland would like Alexander to know that Davin Moreland is not angry that Alex interfered in a world title match. Davin Moreland understand the hatred Alex has for Eric. Davin Moreland would be pissed as well if Eric and my sister...
Samantha whispers something in Davin's ear.
...Davin Moreland apologizes as he didn't realize nothing was happening. But Davin Moreland's point remains. Davin Moreland is not pissed at Alexander's act. Davin Moreland is a forgiving man. And Davin Moreland knows Alexander will be bringing his A-game for the match against Eric and Poe the Pedophile.
Alexander: Can you stop being *batistalaughs* Davin Moreland the douchebag for a minute? I actually wanted to talk to you about something.
Davin: Davin Moreland isn't being anything other than what Davin Moreland is. Besides Davin Moreland knows there are ninja cameramen around.
Alexander: Look, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.
Davin nods and whispers something to Samantha. Who dutifully gets up and leaves the room.
Davin: What's up Alex?
Alexander: First, I wanted to say thanks for everything. And that I respect you. And there isn't anyone I trust more in this company than you.
Davin: What???
Alexander: Isn't that what I'm supposed to say? I mean look around you Davin, everyone's going around talking about they respect one another. Chris Evans apologizes because he disrespected Cole. Cole and Williams are sucking each other off talking about the respect they have for one another. And we haven't heard a damn thing except moaning from Moose's locker room. I assume he's having a fun night by himself with all this respect talk.
Davin: Did you have to go there man? Moose has been off the radar, he hasn't been an issue.
Alexander: Fuck him and everybody else. Do you remember what you told me when we decided to go all-in with this?
Davin: Of course I remember, but it doesn't mean we need to antagonize everyone.
Alexander: Actually, I think that's exactly what it means. We put this group together for the sole purpose of becoming the most dominant stable ever in this company. And we started off with a big explosion at Hell on Earth and we've had our moments since then, but even you have to admit we've been sitting back for a while.
Davin: Let's say I was to admit that; but you and I both know there's only so much we can do about it. We only have so much power...unless...
Alexander: Exactly. It's time to end the drama. It's time to go old-school. Let everyone make their As Run DEA Turn jokes, at the end of the day we'll make sure that it's us standing tall.
Davin: And if they don't like it, they just need to remember...We are Run DEA...Try and Fucking Stop Us.
Davin and Alex bump fists and turn back towards the television where they see a drunken Chris Cole cutting another promo.
Alexander: Who said he could be "Lower Midcard" Chris Cole? When I was done with him in the Intercontinental Division, I could have sworn he was "Dark Match" Chris Cole. Man, bitches gotta know their place.
Davin: Davin Moreland thinks Chris Cole is humorous. Davin Moreland finds comedy in the misfortune of others. And Davin Moreland knows there is no one less fortunate than Chris Cole. Davin Moreland should feel sympathy that Chris Cole has turned from a once proud World Champion into...what's the word Davin Moreland is looking for?
Alexander: Pathetic has-been who couldn't lace Run DEA's boots even if we gave him velcro?
Davin: Davin Moreland agrees. Davin Moreland thinks Alex has a way with words. Davin Moreland also thinks this promo is running too long. Davin Moreland calls Lucios into the room.
Lucios starts to walk into the room...
*Promo ended via GMtR*
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