MidWeek Mayhem (01/21) Live! From Springfield, MI

[mooseheadjack]

We fade into a posh-looking hotel room where the camera shows Tyson Kincaid sitting on the edge of a king-size bed, leaning forward and staring intently at the television enclosed in an ornate mahogany cupboard.

The camera zooms in to show that Kincaid is watching TiVo’d OOWF TV, specifically Firewoman’s earlier discussion with “Lionheart” Chris Evans. Kincaid’s face is crimson red and displays a scowl and he breathes heavily as he watches.

Firewoman starts her set, and Evans looks around awkwardly for a bit. He finally gets on an exercise bike that is conveniently nearby, and pedals in silence for a while, while Firewoman does a few sets. Finally, he breaks the silence.

“L”CE: So...you and Tyson....

FW: Mmm-hmmm....

“L”CE: Well, it's just that.... [Evans stops pedaling.] ... There are photos of you and Kincaid all over the walls still at SWA. You were an awesome team, and it just seems like...well, if you could put your differences aside....

Firewoman has stopped working her calves and moved on to hanging leg raises, because we know how important ABS are.

FW: This is what I get for forgetting my .mp3 player. I have to listen to some mark gushing all over ancient history?

“L”CE: I'm not being a mark. It's just....well, we watched tapes and you guys had some chemistry....you were spot on.....It's just a shame that.

FW: [without stopping her exercise] You know what's a shame, Cubheart? Because I know the real “Lionheart,” and you ain't that, yet. You will be, but not yet. What is a shame is that Tyson is too selfish to get his head on straight to do the job the way it needs to be done.

Tyson pauses the promo and slowly turns to address the camera.


TK: Too selfish to get the job done?! Or too selfish get the job done the way that you wanted it done?

I realized months ago what your true motives were. Like I said then, this wasn’t a “team”, this was a way for you to advance your career by using me - my talents, my abilities – to steal the spotlight for yourself.

As two individuals, we were close friends, but as two wrestlers, we were a sham. With your egocentric, dictatorial approach, we wouldn’t have lasted much longer as a team, anyway. You would have wished me luck and then up and left for greener pastures, so don’t delude yourself by trying to convince people otherwise.


Kincaid hits “play” and continues watching the promo.

“L”CE: I don't get it. He's clean now.

FW: And you buy that? Look, okay. Maybe he's not using now. Maybe. Hell, I hope he's not. [She takes a break]. That doesn't mean he's addressed whatever the real issue is. He's still running from it. He's a dry drunk.

“L”CE: A dry...

FW: Yeah. He may not be drinking, or smoking, or pill popping, or whatever other multitude of ways he's found to medicate himself, but he's still avoiding the larger issue, still avoidiing, denying, lying to himself and others.... until he stops doing that? I got no use for him.

Once again, Kincaid pauses and turns towards the camera. This time, a single bead of sweat is clearly visible on his flushed face, however he keeps speaking in a relatively calm, controlled voice.


TK: No use for me? Well, I can think of at least one. I’m going to be the man doing you a favor this Wednesday by ending your miserable career before your infamous temper gets the better of you and you end it yourself.

I’m not going to wait for you have one your little episodes. I’m not going to wait for you to forget that you’re a professional wrestler rather than some kind of degenerate street fighter with a couple of screws loose. No. I’m going to personally claim responsibility for putting you out of this business before you embarrass yourself. That is my use to you.


Tyson again resumes watching to footage, seemingly inching closer to the television set with each word.

Firewoman goes back to her ab-work. Evans looks thoughtful for a while.

“L”CE: So what is the larger issue?

FW: Who am I, Dr. Phil? I have no idea. Only Tyson can answer that.....damn, I do sound like Dr. Phil....

Kincaid abruptly pauses the promo and quickly rotates on the bed once more to face the camera. This time, there are several more beads of sweat on his forehead and he has raised his voice significantly, spitting occasionally when he speaks.


TK: I’ll tell you what the larger issue is, Lisa! The larger issue is that you continue to walk…you continue to wrestle…you continue to speak…you continue to breathe after you walked away from me.

I couldn’t care less about our team. Like I said, that team was doomed from the start. But you abandoned me when I needed a friend the most and you have never owned up to it. But you will own up to it. I will make sure that you regret it every day for the rest of your life.


Kincaid takes a deep breath and throws his head backwards, trying to regain his composure. After several moments, he resumes Firewoman’s promo, but he continues to breathe hard and his sweating is becoming more and more profuse.

FW: Have you ever hurt anyone in the ring?

“L”CE: Well, a couple of times. Nothing serious, and it was accidental. I felt really badly--

FW: Yeah. You did. Probably apologized....any hospital time?

“L”CE: No, not that--

FW: But if you had, you'd have visited right?

“L”CE: Of course!

FW: Good. You understand what it means to be a “partner” in this business. Don't forget that. Let me tell you harsh. Harsh is having your partner, who you trust completely both in and out of the ring, drop you on your head because he's too drunk to stand, much less catch you. Repeatedly. Harsh is laying in a hospital bed, wanting to puke, but afraid that will make the pounding in your head even worse. And that doesn't even come close to the fear that all those whispers about 'concussion syndrome' mean that this feeling will never ever go away, and you'll have to give up the one thing you've found that you are good at and that gives you a snowball's chance to get out of the hellhole of a life you've had. And you know what else is harsh? The person that put you in that position, the partner you trusted completely inside and outside of the ring? Can't even be bothered to stop by to see how you are, or even pick up a fucking phone to let you know he fucking cared, or even noticed. That, Cubheart, is harsh.

Kincaid wipes his forehead with the back of his hand.


TK: Again with this?

Listen, I admit it. I was a mess and I fucked up. But I did apologize and I did call. Maybe you didn’t notice because you were too busy having one of your trademark psychotic outbursts? Or maybe the doctors had you so doped up that you couldn’t hear the phone? Or perhaps you simply couldn’t reach it because they had you strapped to a gurney after you kept trying to take your anger with me out on some poor ninety-pound nurse?

Whatever the case may be, you just keep telling yourself, and anyone else who will listen, that pathetic sob story because we both know what really happened once you were released from hospital. You came crawling back to me and finally accepted my apology because you knew that your career wasn’t going anywhere without me.


Again, Kincaid wipes his forehead before turning back to face the TV.

FW: C'mon, get over here, quit lurking behind the door over there. [She speaks directly to the camera, but they're facing the mirror in the gym.]. Tyson, you keep droning on about trying to ruin my career. Big surprise. You've been trying to do that since we met. At least you're being honest about something now. But you failed. Like you always do. And you'll fail again. And again, and again, and again.

She punctuates each 'again' with a kick to the mirror. A crack begins to form.

FW: So keep talking. Keep bragging. When I got out of that hospital bed, I promised myself that I wouldn't let you, or anyone, do that to me again. And I keep my promises. So bring it on, because until you are laying there wondering if you're ever going to feel normal again? We won't even be close to even.

And she punctuates that last point with a huge punch to the mirror, which shatters it, sending glass everywhere. Evans ducks. Firewoman's knuckles are bleeding.

Tyson again turns back towards the camera. A coy smile briefly appears on his red, sweat-soaked face.


TK: And there it is again. That temper of yours. You couldn’t even hold it together during a simple conversation with a rookie. What’s going to happen when you step into the ring with me at Mayhem? Do you see what I mean when I said earlier that if you continue with this behavior, you’ll only humiliate yourself? Truth be told, I’d love to let you destroy yourself. I’d love to sit back and watch while you self-destruct. But that simply wouldn’t give me the satisfaction that I crave, the retribution that I deserve.

You’re right, though. My life has been punctuated by one monumental failure after another. But you’re simply ignorant if you believe that I will be the one left laying on the canvas after our match. That will simply not happen. I won’t allow it to.

No, Fire…on Wednesday night, I get to live out a fantasy that I’ve played over and over in my head since the truth came out about why you betrayed me. But this isn’t a fantasy with unicorns and streets paved with chocolate. No. This is a fantasy with blood, broken bones and anguished screams begging me for absolution.

Firewoman, on Wednesday night, you will bleed, you will break and I will take your Intercontinental Title. But this night will not be about what you lose, it will be about what you feel.

As you lay on that mat, your red hair soaked with blood, you will have felt something more powerful than the euphoric sensation of winning any championship. After all this time, you will finally feel remorse. I guarantee it.


Kincaid takes several more deep breaths, clearly emotionally exhausted. He gets up from the bed and walks over to a large chest of drawers, on top of which sits an ice bucket and various complimentary items courtesy of the hotel. Behind this is a large mirror.

Tyson rests his hand on top of the chest and stares with great concentration into the mirror. His heavy breathing begins to increase until he suddenly lets out a guttural growl and punches the mirror with his right hand, splitting the glass into two uneven pieces. He pulls back his fist and the camera zooms in slightly to show that it is bleeding profusely and has several large pieces of glass stuck in between the knuckles. One by one, Kincaid pulls the glass out. Kincaid is now shaking and sobbing slightly as he looks at his cracked reflection in the broken mirror.

Tyson reaches his wounded hand into the ice bucket and holds it there for several seconds before removing it. His hand now tightly clenches a bottle of amber liquid. Kincaid opens the bottle and pours some of the liquid on his wounds. He then takes a nearby glass, half fills it with ice and pours a generous amount of liquid into it before downing it in three large gulps.

Kincaid slams the glass down hard on top of the chest and stares at the floor while a puddle of sweat forms at his bare feet. His breathing picks up once again and he turns and quickly marches towards to bathroom near the door to his room.

The door to the bathroom closes shut and we are left with the sounds of urging, groaning and light sobbing as the scene fades to black.

[mooseheadjack]

[Fade into GM The Rick's office, as Rick is completing a phone call. Concrete TG walks into the office.]

GMTR: [on the phone] Ok, so you can be there for the Gauntlet? Great, thanks Mikey. Bye bye. [hangs up]

CTG: Mikey? Whipwreck!?

GMTR: Mikey Whipwreck? No. A local guy for the "Larson Gauntlet." [Rick says mockingly, complete with "finger quotes"] To what do I owe this visit, Gryfon?

CTG: OOWF Mayor The Rick, after strong consideration, and much deliberation, I respectfully withdraw myself from the "Larson Gauntlet" [CTG says seriously, albeit still complete with "finger quotes"].

GMTR: Wait--what? Why?

CTG: Citizen Larson is currently a conflicted individual, but I believe there is still a place for him within the vaunted Heroes Guild. I believe my participation in this match, leading to his contest against Citizen Paladin, could drive him further away.

GMTR: Well, that's always a possibility. But that kid needs to be taught a lesson, and I thought you were the man for the job Gryfon.

CTG: OOWF Mayor The Rick, I appreciate that you'd think of me. and in any other circumstance, I would indeed be "the man for the job." [seriously, using more "finger quotes," as those are now starting to "get old"] And I whole heartedly agree that Citizen Larson is in need of a lesson. But there must be another way.

GMTR: Hmm.

CTG: ...

GMTR: Okay, I'll tell you what. Consider yourself out of the match for now. I've got a wrestling legend that I've considered using on a per appearance basis, and this might be the opening I need. I, um, might need to follow-up with you prior to the match just to make certain. So be at the arena. But as of right now, you have the night off.

CTG: OOWF Mayor The Rick, thank you for your consideration and granting of my request. Have a splendid day, sir.

GMTR: Thanks Gryfon.

[CTG leaves the room, and Erlana walks in to talk with the Rick.]

Erlana: More stuff on that Larson fella, huh?

GMTR: Erlana, I spend way too much of my time dealing with that kid. He needs to learn a lesson.

Erlana: C'mon, he can't be that bad. You used to appreciate that kind of desire in a kid.

GMTR: Yeah, but this guy is too much. He doesn't understand the dues that others have paid, and expects everything to be handed to him. Not that he can't earn it, because I know he can. But he has to be willing to earn it.

Erlana: I think he will. But I don't think he'd be nearly as "double tough" [yes, with "finger quotes"] of a competitor if he didn't have that chip on his shoulder.

GMTR: You might be right. But as for tomorrow, I have some calls to make.

Erlana: What did you "have in mind?" [those "finger quotes" won't go away!]

GMTR: Seriously, I might have to ban "finger quotes." [with...ah fuck it, nevermind]

[mooseheadjack]

*Fade In.*

*We are coming to you LIVE! From Wilson, NC, the hometown of the OOWF's own Eric O'Mac! Eric has called a press conference from the comfort of his apartment. As the media gathers in his living room, Eric O'Mac comes from his upstairs bedroom to the table that has been set up and he takes a seat.*

Eric: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming today. I realize we were suppose to do this press conference in Springfield; however, do to the inclement snow we are currently getting here in Wilson, I was not able to leave the house. I am shocked that all of you were able to get here.

Reporter #1: Eric, it's only 3 inches of snow.

Eric: Yeah, I know, it's a death storm. Thanks for risking your lives to be here. I will be answering questions for the next few minutes.

Reporter #1: OK, Eric, well first off, we see that you've recently agreed to appear in commercials for Oreos and Sony and some fans think you have become a sell out. Care to respond?

Eric: Which fans think this?

Reporter #1: Well, I don't have their names or addresses...

Eric: Get them and get back to me. But yes, I have recently finished shooting an Oreos commercial that is scheduled to air after this press conference is over. I need the money. It's not like I'm in any HBK like debt or anything, but the money for making these commercials is good and it leads to more opportunities.

Reporter #2: What kind of opportunities?

Eric: Well, I'm currently finishing up a script for an OOWF version of Law and Order: SVU. I hope to direct that, and it will air at some point in the future.

Reporter #3: You have a tag team match this week at Mayhem. What are your thoughts.

Eric: Well, that's if I make it to Mayhem. With death storm 2009 outside, that isn't a guarantee. But I'm looking forward to the match. I'm teaming with Poe, who I have had success with since he has come into the company. And we're going up against Alex and Davin. We all know I have issues with Alex, but me and Davin are usually cool. But then, he threw coffee on me. COFFEE. Not only does that fucking shit hurt like hell, you can't get it out. It stained one of my best shirts. You can't replace shit like that. And I've tried everything. Hot wash, cold wash, bleach, EVERYTHING. It was a dick move. And I will hit him so hard that he will be hit very hard.

Reporter #1: You will be very busy tomorrow night. Not only are you in a main event tag team match, but you are also hosting 15 Minutes of Fame, with your special guests, The Chickenshit Heels.

Eric: And I'm very excited about have the Heels on my segment. They are, without a doubt, my favorite tag team of all time. THE BEST tag team of all time, despite what those mute bastards in DEA will tell you, if they can find a camera. I know that Johnny and Alan have been having trouble lately - I hope they can get through all that trouble on my show tomorrow night, move past their differences, and get back to doing what they do best.

I'll entertain one more questions, before ya'll have to get out of here. I just got a text from a friend who wants to have a snowball fight.

Reporter #2: OK. Elaborate on your troubles with Alexander Darling and DEA.

Eric: OK.

I took a 10 month hiatus from the OOWF in 2007, returning in December. When I returned, there was a few new faces. Alexander Darling and his lovely sister was one of those new faces. They were starting up a new faction, the Darling Enterprise Agency. They had recruited Firewoman and Rabbxt, but they were still kind of unknown. All three members of their faction were new wrestlers, so the fans really didn't give them any credibility. And that's when Alex started calling. They wanted me. Wanted me to join this new faction.

So, after a few months, I joined. I got what I wanted, and despite what they would claim afterwards, they got what they wanted.

Credibility.

You see, no one gave a shit about Alexander Darling and Firewoman until Eric O'Mac came around, and joined their little stable. Having Eric O'Mac in their stable gave DEA credibility. People started to take the group seriously. The stable won championships. And it started to grow. I left the stable. They eventually added Run DLP, forming a super stable that we now know as Run DEA.

There is your history lesson. The facts are, Run DEA would not be the same group if I had not joined in March 2008. If had not given that group the credibility that they needed. It's possible they would have fizzled out. It's possible they just would have found someone else. The bottom line is it was me. I gave the group a leg to stand on, and they are still standing after I've been long gone.

It ends now.

You see, Run DEA has become a cancer in the OOWF. They are use to getting away with everything. Use to getting their way. Use to running roughshed over the competition. They like to say "We are Run DEA, try and fucking stop us."

Well, I'm not just going to try. I'm going to succeed.

I'm going to rid the OOWF of the cancer that is Run DEA. I started the cancer that is Run DEA. I will get rid of Run DEA.

And it starts with Alexander Darling.

*Eric gets up from the table, as we fade out.*

*Commercial*

*We see lots of press looking at Alexander and Alexis Darling sitting at a table.*

Alexander: My sister and I are proud to announce that we are chasing the dream and becoming two sport athletes!

Alexis: We've decided to join the double stuffed racing league.

*The press suddenly turn around to see Eric O'Mac and his twin sister Erica O'Mac sitting at a press table.*

Eric: My sister and I are proud to announce that this was a great idea, when we thought of it....like, a year ago!

*The press turn around.*

Alexander: Well, my sister and I would like to announce that you guys are going down.

*The press turn around.*

Erica: My brother and I would like to announce that "OOOH, WE'RE SCARED!"

*The press turn around.*

Alexis: My brother and I would like to announce that you should be.

*The press turn around.*

Eric: My sister and I would like to announce that it's ON like DONKEY KONG!

Erica: And stop copying us!

DARLINGS VS MCMAHONS

*End commercial*

[mooseheadjack]

<The INC catches Moose walking down the hallway of a posh hotel, presumably in Detroit. He comes to a suite and bangs on the door. From inside we hear what sounds like something between a grunt and "what". Moose opens the door and we see Tytan sitting on the edge of the bed, thankfully covered, in a hotel room that has been DESTROYED>

MHJ: What the hell happened here?

Tyt: You know that Lord of the Dance thing?

MHJ: Yeah

Tyt: Well apparently they are going to be in Detroit in a couple of weeks

MHJ: Yeah

Tyt: Well, about a dozen of the women in the show are here doing a meet and greet kind of thing

MHJ: Uh huh

Tyt: I was buying them drinks and then........

MHJ: How many of them?

Tyt: All of them I think

MHJ: Seamus would be proud

Tyt: What happened to Hot Cocktail Waitress?

MHJ: She had to work. And we need to get back to Springfield. Let's go

Tyt: Fine, but you're driving, my head is fucking killing me

[mooseheadjack]

In the HALLWAY of RANDOM INTERVIEWS, a groomed and nicely dressed D.H. Magnusson is WALKING~!

SFJ86: D.H.! D.H.! What kind of explanation do you have for your actions at Mayhem last week?

D.H. Magnusson: What?

SFJ86: Last week at Mayhem, you bru-

DHM: Shut up.

SFJ86: Bu-

DHM: I SAID SHUT YOUR DAMNED MOUTH! How long it been since you..since any of you talked t'me?

SFJ86: Well, it's been almost -

DHM: It's been over two months. Over two months since my damned leg snapped liked a stinkin' twig in the middle of that ring. Two months....y'think I got a word outta Rick? Y'think I gotta word outta my so called brothers in Drink And Destroy? Y'think I got a word outta those low-rent pieces of trash I spent over a year bustin' my ass for?

SFJ86: I -

DHM: Answer t'that is no. All that blood I dumped, all the bones I broke...It didn't mean a damned thing t'any of you bloodsuckers. I had all th'time in th' world t'think about it layin' in that stinkin' bed with an eye I could hardly see outta and a leg that suddenly had more metal in it some punk kid's face.

SFJ86: But all th' cards and letters th-

DHM: Yeah yeah yeah...All the cards and letters...All th' "When are you coming, back?"s And all the "Can't wait t'see ya back!"s....All you damned parasites gave a crap about was waitin' t'see if I could get patched back t'gether enough t'do all again for you. It got real clear real fast...None of you dirtballs gave a damn about anything other than waitin' see if you could squeeze one more pound a'flesh outta me. And then one day Spence shows up an-

SFJ86: That would be Spencer Darling?

DHM: Naw, it's Edmund Spencer, th' dead poet....Who in the hell do ya think I'm talking about, y'stupid bimbo? Spence shows up, an' my an' her...we have us a nice long talk. She's got a check from DEA in her hands, an' a lotta sense comin' outta her mouth. We talk about what you pieces a'trash are suckin' outta me, and who does an' doesn't give a damn about...

Spencer Darling ducks into the camera shot

SD: D.H.? I think they're ready for you now.

DHM: Yeah? Good. I'm comin'.

SJF86: But we weren't finished!

DHM: Yeah we were...I'm done with you, S'all that matters.

SFJ86: But I didn't to ask about about your match this week with Lionheart Chris Evans?

Magnusson stalks off, leaving Spencer smiling sweetly at the SFJ
SD: Oh, sweetie...I'm sure this Evans might have had a very nice match with the old D.H. Magnusson - but getting in the ring with the New Jersey Nightmare? I really hope Rick is paying his medical.

[mooseheadjack]

*Davin Moreland is CONVENIENTLY STANDING~! near the door in the Run DEA Locker Room and Suites, presented by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels. D.H. Magnusson and Spencer Darling come through the door*

DM: Welcome to Run DEA, D.H. Magnusson.

DHM: Davin.

*DH just kinda walks past him and heads toward the "Darling Area"*

DM: Spence.

SpD: Dav.

*Davin blatantly ogles Spencer, and starts to shake his head*

DM: What a waste.

SpD: Oh, it's not wasted.

*Suddenly a glass shatters above Davin's head. Davin looks over and sees a HEATED Samantha Darling in the doorway*

DM: Oh. Hello Beautiful Sam-

SaD: Save it. Hi Spencer.

SpD: Hi Sam. Weird to be talking to you.

SaD: Weird to be seeing you around men.

SpD: Don't start.

SaD: I won't. Besides, you're now my favorite sister here.

SpD: Going that well, eh?

SaD: You know how we are.

SpD: I do. Well, I gotta get in with Lex real quick here.

SaD: Great work.

SpD: I know.

*Spencer leaves*

DM: Davin Moreland was just-

SaD: Shut up.

DM: But-

SaD: SHUT UP. Get in here.

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

[We fade back into GM The Rick's office, he's looking tired after a long and typically arduous day, is pouring himself a large Whisky and has just put his feet up on his desk when the phone rings]

What!!

Oh, hello Sir. Sorry for being so abrupt, it just . . . well you know . . . one of those days. Yes, of course Sir, sorry. What can I do for you?

Well of course I remember him Sir, I remember throwing him out . . . no I haven’t got a clue what he’s been up to for the last 2 years Sir and frankly I don’t care.

Oh . . . you have . . . he has . . . you do . . . oh.

Well yes Sir you may like his style but I really don’t think it would work and I was given assurances when I took this job that the final word on talent relations would be mine . . . a personal favour . . . well . . . yes Sir . . . I understand that Sir but . . . but . . . (sigh)

Very well Sir, as a personal favour to you I’ll talk to him, but if I’m not totally happy with what I hear there’s no way it’s gonna happen while I’m still around. Well yes Sir . . .thank you Sir . . . and a good evening to you.

[The Rick puts the phone down and stares at it wide eyed, finally breaking the spell by downing the whole Whisky in one and pouring himself another]

Oh shit why him!

[mooseheadjack]

(Moose and Tytan are driving back to Springfield. Tytan is trying to do anything possibly to help his hurt head. Mooseis driving and loving life.)

Moose: Big Man that was one fun road trip. By the way what are you planning on doing with that cash you won?

Tytan: I think some of that may go to Ultimo Inc stock. I want some control of my own career.

Moose: Well it does sound like the big man has some idea what he is doing.

Tytan: Brother the muscle head thing is just a gimmick. I actually have a degree in Psycology.

Moose: No shit?

Tytan: No shit.

Moose: Whatever you are doing then is working. So what about the other bit of the money?

Tytan: Well, more road trips and a little bit of fun.

Moose: Count me in.

(They bump knuckles.)

(Just then they notice the two Sexy Female Journalist they left on the side of the road. Hitching to get back to Springfield.)

Moose: Well, what do you think?

Tytan: Awh hell man, my head hurts just thinking about riding back with them.

(Moose then steps on the gas and floors it past the two of them. The girls see the car and flip the two of them off.)

Moose: I can get into this.

Tytan: Same here. Damn I am hungry....(notices the sign) Cool there's a Waffle House the next exit.

Moose: Damn are you still drunk?

(Moose then throws on the CD player and it's....)



Tytan: Damn you Moose! oooooohhhh!

(Moose Laughs)

(Fade to black)

[mooseheadjack]

<Stank is sitting in the back with his head face down in his crossed arms on the table. Spin Hansen walks over.>

Spin - Boss?

Stank - Yes.

Spin - Did you see?

Stank - I did.

Spin -

Stank -

Spin - What are we going to do about it?

Stank - What CAN we do about it?

Spin - We HAVE to go GET HIM! He's MY DAMN PARTNER! The Darling's have him BRAINWASHED!

Stank - He's a grown ass man. I don't understand why he would join Run DEA after what Alex did to his leg. Just like I didn't understand why Davin would turn on me... all I know is that the common denominator is... Darling.

Spin - Fuck YES! So let's go DO something!

Stank - There's nothing to be done.

Spin -

Stank -

Spin - THAT'S your ANSWER?

Stank -

<Spin drops his head down, rubbing his temples.>

Spin - I'm beginning to wonder why we have destroy in our name when WE NEVER DESTROY ANYTHING!!

<Spin walks off in a huff! FF Capslock walks over.>

FFC - What's his deal?

Stank -

FFC - Stank?

Stank -

FFC - Lucas? Buddy?

<Stank just stares a hole in the wall, seething>

<Fade>

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman is TALKING~! on her cell phone, and smoking angrily. And she's nowhere near happy, even for her.

No.... no I do not want you here Wednesday.......Yes, I'm serious.......I don't care if you're bored, maybe you could look for the backbone you used to have.......Yeah, that's what I said......because I can think of about a million better things for you to do on your knees, and groveling to a McMahon ain't one of them that's why...........................................Oh, hush. I just don't need that kind of energy around, I'm facing Tyson...............Kincaid? From SWA?..........Yeah, that Tyson.....did you see his promo?..................Yeah, at first I was concerned, just him, a tape of me, getting sweaty and stuff.........iew.................and all that shit about 'caring' and 'trying to see me'.....what a crock of shi--.........................what?...................

There is a long pause as someone on the other end of the phone is apparently explaining something. Occasionally you can hear him pause, as Firewoman remains speechless, but clearly getting more and more angry.

Okay, shut up. Let's get to the key points. He was there..............I don't care if he was drunk.....................You told him to leave...............................It doesn't matter. I can't talk to you right now. Go beg someone else for attention.

Firewoman slams the phone shut and then throws it as it shatters against the wall. She turns and sees the ninja cam, and chases them away.

[mooseheadjack]

[Bryce Larson saw the footage of Firewoman talking on her phone, and remembered that he, too, needed to make a call.]

Bryce: ...... Hey Paul, it's Bryce. ...... Yeah, it's tonight. ...... Yeah, ten minutes and eleven seconds. ...... Well, some local guy first, Matte second, and I have no idea who for number three. ...... No, he pulled out. ...... Matte? He's a new guy. I'm not worried about him, it took Nayr over ten minutes to beat him. ...... I know that! Trust me, i've been hearing the number 10:11 all week! ...... No, it's fine. ...... I'm not worried at all, I can do this. ...... There's a world of possibilities really, I hear he had some legend that wants to come in. ...... I doubt it's him. ...... Damn, I sure hope it's not him! ...... For the tag title contract? ...... On Sunday. ...... I've gotten a few calls, I think I know who I'm going to pick. ...... Yeah, I've considered that, too. ...... Yeah. ...... You saw that? ...... I have no idea what she wants. ...... She said I'd know when the time was right. ...... Sure, I understand. ...... Thanks, Paul.

[Bryce hangs up, then opens up his phone again.]

Bryce: Maybe NOW the time is right? I have no clue.

[Byrce dials, and a female voice answers.]

Bryce: ...... No? How the fuck am I supposed to know when it is, then! ...... You keep saying that, but I don't get it. When will I know that the time is right to call you, Erlana? ...... Fine, when "the time is right," I'll call you.

[Bryce hangs up the phone, gets up and walks away.]

[mooseheadjack]

*OOWF Backstage*

It's time for an interview backstage and we're getting word that everything is ready. The view changes to backstage and we see ready to go.

OGM SJ: Hello pathetic OOWF viewers, I have decided to grace you with my presence today and I'm lucky to have some time to spend with my favorite twins in the world. Let me introduce the one and only Alexander Darling and his beautiful sister Alexis.

Alexis: Always a pleasure Shawny. I hope things have been going well and I apologize that we haven't had more opportunities to see you. Things have been hectic to say the least.

OGM SJ: It's not a problem at all Alexis. It gave me a chance to post some blogs hating those stupid chinks who cost our great country a gold medal. It makes me so mad...

Alexander: Hey there Shawn, relax a little.

OGM SJ: I know, I know...it's just that.

Alexander: I know what you mean and that's why you need to relax a little right now.

OGM SJ: Um, I don't get it. Why do I need to relax?

Alexis: Here we go...

Alexander: Because Shawn, if only one of us can go over the edge tonight, I'm planning on it being myself.

Alexis: Brother dear, I thought we had gone over this. Stay focused, don't make it personal.

Alexander Sister darling, in my head that makes complete sense and I'd like to follow through on the plan. But then there's other part of me, my soul you could say and all I want to do is make Eric bleed his own blood.

OGM SJ: He got that from Dodgeball.

Alexis: Oh, he's just getting started.

Alexander: I'm not deaf ladies. I can hear you. So Shawn, why don't you ask me what the monkeys in the back want to know?

OGM SJ: Okaly dokaly. Just to warn you, these questions are really lame.

Alexander: I wouldn't expect anything less from people hired by the idiot general manager we have around here. Let's hear it.

OGM SJ: Okay, first of all, why did you not show up for your Onslaught Championship match last week?

Alexander: Because Run DEA felt that was the perfect time to make a couple of statements. Bringing the New Jersey Nightmare, DH Magnusson into the fold was a stroke of genius by my lovely sisters. It took me a while to warm up to the idea, but deep down Mags and I have seen eye to eye on quite a lot. This was just a chance for him to come back and make a statement. And I told Rick that he could take his title rematch and shove it up his ass. He's been screwing me over since I got here. Go back and take a look at all my title losses. A 3-way dance when I was being distracted by something Rick let into this company. A mistyping of information by the political power players in the back. And a loss by disqualification. It's obvious GMtR is a jackass and he continues to find a way to keep what is rightfully mine away from me.

OGM SJ: Does that mean you will or won't be looking for gold in the future? Personally, I have to say how good you look in gold.

Alexander: I do look good in gold, don't I? But that's besides the point; right now, if the opportunity for another chance at the Onslaught Title would present itself, I'd consider it, but from here on out, it's going to be done my way. I've never personally had an issue with Seamus, but if he wants to prove himself as a true champion, all he has to do is name the time and place...I'll name the stakes. Let's see how long it takes Rick to screw me this time. But for now, I only have one focus.

OGM SJ: And I have to assume you, of course, mean Eric O'Mac?

Alexander: Eric O'Mac. The name alone makes me want to break someone's bones.

OGM SJ: How did things change so dramatically between the two of you?

Alexander: You're speaking of our friendship, hell our partnership in DEA, I believe. Let me clear a few things up for our moronic audience. See, I was able to watch Mr. Nepotism's "press conference." First, how did you find so many talentless people from your trailer park and get them to act like reporters? Secondly, I'll admit that the piece of garbage made some points. DEA was looking to find some credibility early on and Eric was one the wrestlers we thought we could work with and make a name for ourselves here. Neither I nor my sister will deny that.

OGM SJ: Then what happened between the two of you?

Alexis: Are you sure you want to do this?

Alexander: Oh, I'm sure alright. Eric is what I like to look back on and call a mistake. I thought that by being the new guy on the block that I needed someone who knew the ropes around here and I believed we had similar goals in mind. So I sacrificed some individual goals. I handed Eric the Onslaught Title on a silver platter and what does he do? He loses it to a boy dressed up like a fucking rabbit. Then he goes and starts making deals behind DEA's back. All he had to do was be straight with us from the start and we could have taken this company apart, but Eric thought he was bigger and badder and better than us. I only need to remind him who got their hands raised at the end of WarGames. And then...

OGM SJ: Then what?

Alexander: It's funny. Back before Eric and I formed our original partnership, we went out there and had a match that people still talk about today. Throughout most of the last year, that was the Eric I remembered and offered the spot in my group to. The Eric O'Mac who could take the best and give it right back. The first person in this company who could keep up with me on the technical level. And then it just vanished over the summer. He talked about fighting a way, but he never actually fought with everything he had. And day by day, I saw what a waste he had become and I thanked the heavens, we had the foresight to form Run DEA.

OGM SJ: And then?

Alexander: And then came the Imperial Onslaught. For one night, I remember just what it was about Eric O'Mac that made him worthy of saying he was DEA. He showed the world just what he was capable and he truly showed me when he was able to pin me. Clean. It doesn't happen often, but he did it. And a part of me remembered the good days. I thought that maybe, just maybe, we could find that common ground again. But then it took all of about a week for me to remember what a fucking waste he was.

OGM SJ: What happened in that week?

Alexander: He lost to that guy. You know the one. It doesn't matter who though. The fact is, here was a guy with talent, but he expects things to be handed to him because he happens to be related to someone. And he thought that Run DEA would stand idly by while he got handed another title? Well fuck that. The only things Eric is going to be handed from now on is pain and blood. I have made it my obsession to prove to the world that he's a fluke. That he's a waste. And pretty soon, he'll be disposed of like the waste he is.

OGM SJ: I don't think I've ever seen you this passionate about something Alex. But I've heard the stories about Japan, and that does lead into the other man opposing you tonight. Your former mentor, Poe.

Alexis: Let me take this one. Brother dear's issues with Poe will never die and the world knows most of them. So let me add a new chapter to the story. I was in bad shape a week ago and Poe felt like that would be the perfect opportunity to play some more head games with me. Luckily for me, I've become far too wise to fall for his manipulations again. But I'm also not ignorant and I do keep up with what's going on in this company. All I'm going to say is Isis wants to play and she has her eyes set on a new toy.

Alexander: God you can be a scary bitch.

Alexis: And don't you ever forget it brother.

OGM SJ: Okay, I got goose bumps now.

Alex takes Shawn around the arms as they walk across the screen with Alexis a step behind. Just when it looks like they're all gone, Alexis pops back into the view and she's got a really dark smile...

Alexis: Nevermore bitchwhore.

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, Michigan

<Once again Russ appears on TV sitting behind his desk>

Ladies and gentlemen, as we mentioned last week we are holding a tournament around the country for some of our lesser known talent. The winner of the tournament will get a call to the OOWF and a contract, much like Carl From Fresno. We just completed round 2 this past week, and here are the results:

In the Duane Gil Bracket
Chile Bean Amezaga pins Curt Anderson with a moonsault
Sammy ”Firewater” Blackfoot advances when Barbariosa is disqualified for kicking the referee.
Yves Vachon beat Nigel Boatswain with a Pile driver
Dr. Stone Cole Death Von Erich forced Holmes Van Der Beek to submit to the Iron Claw
Karl Von Krush d Thomas Builds-The-Fire with a Gorilla Press Slam
Bert Clarke beat Yukon John West with a Sharpshooter
“The Love Machine” Billy Wayne Woodard beat Yukon Cornelius with a Full Nelson submission.
Carl From Fresno F-5’d and pinned Cornpone Kenny

In the George South Bracket
Jose Manuel Ramirez Ortiz Cuervo beat Jerry Cream with a Hurricanrana
“Cheesesteak” Tony DaVida beat Mohammed Abdul Malik-Shabaz with an Axe Kick
Vasco de Gama XVII beat Brock McCain with a choke slam
Puck Dupp beat Joba Dent with an Unprettier
Montana Joe d El Gato Furioso by Countout
Fumunda Mung beats El Gran Diablo Gato with a Samoan Drop
Sven Farve beat Ben “Strngla” Franklin with a Fingerpoke of Doom
Buddy “P.S.” Gordy pins Pawtucket Pete with a knee lift

In the Jake Milliman Bracket
The Philly satanic beats Sum Phat Ho with a Tombstone pile driver
Preston Davenport Quiggleville III beats Hoak Hogin with a Macho Man Elbow
Hi-Vo Sakamoto super kicked “Champagne” Mike Jablowski for a pin fall victory
Ressued Samoht pinned the Salty Dog after a Diamond Cutter
Mele Kalikamuka pins Joey Kelibasa with a diving headbutt
Bennett Sinatra pins Kiwi Joe after a spinning neck breaker
Dean Krzyzewski beat Shiva Singh with an inverted DDT
Tommy Chong Li beat Gordy “Curling Stone” LaFleur with a Missile Dropkick

Tune in next week to catch the third round results. Now, stay tuned for OOWF MidWeek Mayhem, live, from Springfield, Michigan

PHANTOS & LUCIOS vs. JOBBERS

We start the show with General Manager the Rick in front of the OOWF banner.
Good evening and welcome one and all to Springfield, Michigan! (waits for the inevitable cheap pop) for MIDWEEK MAYHEM! Fans we give you a great opening match, Phantos & Lucios to face Bert Clark & Curt Anderson

Phantos, Lucios, I am willing to toss you a bone. Win this match and I will re-instate your promo, camera & SFJ privileges. Lose, and you will be curtain-jerking AGAIN at Dance of Death IV. Oh, and one more thing, since this is only the first match of the night, we’re going to cut your entrance music. No need to put any more wear on the sound system than necessary, right? Good luck.

Phantos & Lucios hear to ringside to the sounds of the boos of the fans and nothing more. Curt Anderson and Bert Clarke get introduced next, and make their way to ringside to virtual silence. A few fans give them some polite applause, but nothing more.

Phantos starts off with Anderson and quickly finds himself in the corner exchanging chop WHOO’s with Curt. Hip toss out of the corner for Anderson. Knee drop and an abdominal stretch. Phantos howls in pain as Curt reaches back for that extra leverage from the ropes. Phantos finally breaks the hold and hits a belly to back suplex. springboard moonsault takes Anderson down for 2. Phantos dropkicks him into the cornet, and Clarke decides to interfere. He gets in one shot on Phantos before Lucios explodes out of his corner past the official with a knee lift. Lucios leaves the ring on his own, and Curt takes the chance to arm drags Phantos and hit a leg drop. Irish ship gets reversed and Phantos hits another lightning quick dropkick. Lucios tags in and hits a fall away slam and a shoulder breaker. SUPLEX SCHOOL! High delay vertical, slingshot and Gordbuster leave Curt prone in the middle of the ring. Lucios sets up the border toss, but Clarke slaps Anderson’s leg and is the legal man now. Lucios ducks a clothesline and hits a mafia kick. BORDER TOSS OVER THE ROPES! Clarke crashes to the floor. Phantos drops down and backdrops him into the Micronesian Announce Table before ‘helping’ him back into the ring. Lucios sends him into the ropes DIAMOND CUTTER! 1…2..NO! Lucios pulls Clarke up by his hair and tells the referee “He kicked out!” Clarke staggers to his feet. ANOTHER DIAMOND CUTTER! Lucios doesn’t even attempt a cover, and locks in the Rings of Saturn! Phantos cuts off Anderson and traps him in a Cloverleaf! Both Anderson and Clarke tap out quickly, and the bell sounds!
WINNERS in 4:38, Phantos & Lucios.

Phantos & Lucios have yet to release Clarke & Anderson. The official counts, rings the bell repeatedly, and nothing. Agents and other referees come to the ring and try to tug on the arms of the former champs. They won’t budge. Like bulldogs with a bone, their grip cannot be broken. Moreland, Firewoman, and members of the Darling clan all head to the ring to try and talk Phantos & Lucios into releasing the holds. No Dice. General manager the Rick appears on stage

Enough! Enough! I am REVERSING the decision and disqualifying BOTH of you for refusing to comply with a match official’s request. Your winners, Curt Anderson & Bert Clarke! You LOSE Phantos! No SFJ’s. You LOSE Lucios! No self-serving camera time. Sunday at dance of death you will face THREE other teams in a 4 Way Elimination Dance of Death!

Neither man has slackened their grips. Fear Us come charging to ringside, which draws Phantos & Lucios’ attention just enough that Alexander and Davin are able to pry them off the now unconscious Curt Anderson & Bert Clarke. Stretchers are summoned and Fear Us smile, pose for the crowd and walk away as Run DEA holds Phantos & Lucios back

CHRIS EVANS vs. DH MAGNUSSON

Iron Maiden’s “The Trooper” starts to play over the sound system here in Springfield and OOWF newcomer Chris Evans comes out. He slaps the hands of a few fans as he makes it into the ring. He tests out the ring ropes when “Calm Before the Storm” by Arcade kicks in. DH Magnusson steps out from the back and he’s got his chain wrapped around his neck and walking just a step behind is one of the executive partners of Run DEA, Alexis Darling. The crowd is all over DHM as he slides under the bottom rope and looks to attack Evans before the bell, but Sterling Glaw steps in between and sends him back to his corner. Magnusson slides the chain into the corner where Alexis is as Glaw calls for the bell and we’re underway here.

Evans goes for the usual collar-and-elbow tie up, but Mags wants none of that and he plants a knee right into CE’s gut. DH starts pounding down with blows to Evans’ back and when CE is on the mat, Mags drops down and locks in an epic chin lock. DH has it really cinched in, but Evans fights back to his feet and throws a few elbows to force some separation and then Chris runs to the ropes and bounces off, DH with the leap frog and Evans stops right behind DH and then whips him to the ropes. Magnusson bounces off, but Evans puts his head down too early and DHM hits a hard kick to CE’s chest and then Mags follows up with a vicious clothesline that turns Evans inside out. DH goes on a slow, methodical attack as he continues to pound Chris Evans for the next few minutes. Evans gets a few flurries in, but the experience of Magnusson is clearly the advantage in this match as CE is getting worn down.

Magnusson picks Evans up by the hair and whips him hard into the corner. He follows him right in with a hard elbow to the jaw. And then Evans is whipped across the ring to the opposite corner, but as DHM charges in, Evans leaps over him and monkey rolls to the far side of the ring. Mags runs at him again, but CE is a step ahead now and nails DH with a drop toehold and DH’s face crashes hard into the middle turnbuckle. Evans quickly scales the turnbuckles and jumps straight down with a double-stomp to Magnusson’s back. Evans pulls DHM out of the corner and takes him down with a snap suplex. Evans floats over and locks in the HELIOS REVERSE.

Evans has it locked in right near the center of the ring and DH might be in trouble unless he finds a way out of this move. Magnusson rolls to his side and starts struggling towards the ropes. He’s getting closer and closer, but Evans is really locking in this move. He’s trying to keep DH away from the ropes, but as he gets closer we see Alexis Darling push the ropes just enough and DHM is able to reach out and grab the bottom. Glaw sees this as he gives the evil eye to Darling on the outside; he begins the count to make Lionheart Chris Evans break the hold. Evans is clearly annoyed, but he looks to stay on the attack as he drags Magnusson to his feet, but he makes another rookie mistake and turns his head for a split second and DHM is able to grab him in a full nelson. But instead of keeping it as a submission, DH lifts Evans up and DRAGON SUPLEX with a bridge. Glaw drops down to make the count…

1…
2…
And Evans is able to kick out. Magnusson doesn’t let up now as he’s punching away at Evans with closed fists and Glaw is telling him to knock it off. He makes his count and at four, DHM pushes Glaw away and continues to lay into him with closed-fist punches. Mags drags Evans to his feet and lifts him up with an inverted suplex type move and he drops him straight to the mat with an INVERTED BRAINBUSTER. He drops down to make another cover and Glaw gets down to make the count…

1…
2…
And again Evans is able to roll a shoulder. DHM is clearly getting frustrated as he starts choking CE. Glaw is calling for the break once again, and DHM is clearly ignoring him as he continues to choke. Just as it looks like he’s about to call for the bell, Magnusson lets go and picks Evans up once again. He whips him hard into the corner, but this time as Magnusson charges in, Evans climbs up the ropes and catches Mags charging with a picture perfect moonsault. Evans hops up to his feet and the crowd is really getting behind him now as he waits for DH to get up. As Mags gets to his knees, Chris Evans charges and goes for the OLYMPIC STRIKE, but DH ducks under and rolls up Lionheart…

1…
2…
And Evans rolls out. He gets back to his feet quickly and as soon as Magnusson is up, he gets his head damn near taken off with a SUPERKICK. Now it’s Evans turn to make the cover…

One…
Two…
Th…and DH is barely able to lift his shoulder. Evans feels like he has the momentum now and he reaches down to pick up Mags. He gets him up for a fireman’s carry and he nails Magnusson with the LETHAL VORTEX…this could do it, he drops down to make another cover…

One…
Two…
Th…No, DH gets his leg on the bottom rope…or did he as Alexis is really close to the action now. Evans is looking down and he takes his eyes off Magnusson once again and DH comes up from behind and he gets him in position for DREAM STREET. Magnusson hits the side-Russian leg sweep portion, but Evans is struggling and Mags isn’t able to get the Dragon Sleeper locked in. Evans flips backwards and bounces off the ropes and he comes off with all the momentum to nail the CLOTHESLINE FROM HADES. He’s got Magnusson down in the center of the ring and he looks to finish it as he runs off the ropes once again and this time he jumps up on the second rope and goes for a CUBSAULT. But DH is able to get the knees up at the last second. Magnusson shakes his head as he realizes this is becoming a lot harder than he expected. He motions to the outside and he points at Alexis and then the corner. She nods as she heads around the ring to that corner and she picks up the chain. She slides it into the ring and Glaw is trying to stop him, but DH pushes him to the side as he wraps the chain around his arm. He picks up Evans with his other hand…CHAIN ASSISTED IJERSEY HAMMER.

Sterling Glaw has no choice now as he calls for the bell. DH Magnusson just pushes him away again as he tries to stop him. DH picks Evans up once again…and a second JERSEY HAMMER. Evans is down and just as Mags is going to pick him up for the third time, but Glaw and other OOWF personnel are able to pull him from the ring before any further harm can come. Alexis Darling joins DH Magnusson in the ring and he doesn’t seem to care that he’s lost this match. The New Jersey Nightmare DH Magnusson is surely going to be an issue for the rest of the OOWF Roster. In the record books, he’s going to take the loss tonight, but that man in the ring looks far from the man who came out on the losing side tonight.
WINNER in 11:14 as a result of a Disqualification…LIONHEART CHRIS EVANS!

BRYCE LARSON GAUNTLET

Black Sabboth’s “War Pigs” hits, and it’s time to Run the Gauntlet! Bryce Larson slowly walks out, getting a mixed reaction from the fans. Larson hits the ring, and grabs a mic.

It’s time for me to prove to the world that I’m the man who carried the Revenge of the Nerds team, that I was indeed the “Revenge” in Revenge of the Nerds. So GM The Rick, let’s bring out my first opponent!

GM The Rick appears on the video screen to respond.

Bryce, you continue to prove how little you know. I seriously doubt you can beat three opponents in 10:11, but I can’t wait to watch you try. Your first opponent? He’s been standing behind you the entire time! He’s “The Hometown Hero” Mikey Springfield!

Bryce turns around, sees his opponent, and asks the ref to ring the bell.

Bryce Larson “Run the Gauntlet” Match 1 vs. “The Hometown Hero Mikey Springfield
The bell rings, and Springfield extends his hand as he takes a step out of the corner. Larson responds with a super kick that sends Springfield back into the corner! As he starts to fall forward, Larson hits a second super kick! The corner is the only thing holding Springfield up as Larson completed Shinobi’s Rage with a third super kick! Larson goes for the cover and it’s academic from there.
WINNER in :27 - Bryce Larson (9:44 remains in the 10:11 time limit)

Russ: He only took 27 seconds off the clock.
Razz: Bryce now has 9 minutes and 44 seconds to beat two men. Two men?
Russ: I know Razz. It seems impossible!

GM The Rick appears on the screen to address Bryce’s second opponent.

Bryce, I guess I have to admit I’m impressed. But, it took Nayr ten minutes and eleven seconds last week to beat your second opponent, Matte. Are you ready to prove yourself? [pauses] Are you ready? [pauses] Oh well, whatever, Nevermind!

Bryce Larson “Run the Gauntlet” Match 1 vs. Matte

With that, Matte gets in the ring through the crowd, sneaking up Bryce with a roll-up! 1…2…2.9!

Russ: Matte nearly ended the Gauntlet in less than minute!
Razz: I know Russ, I’m sitting right here! But it looks like Matte has angered Bryce!

Bryce immediately charges Matte with a clothesline, but Matte ducks under, hits a kick to the gut and goes for the Nevermind DDT! Larson hooks the knee to block, and lifts Matte up. Bryce charges him into the corner, but Matte gets his feet out and connects with a Tornado DDT! Russ & Razz have the call!

Russ: Larson blocks and has him up.
Razz: He’s charging into the corner to take out Matte’s back.
Russ: That might hurt—wait—nevermind! Tornado DDT by Matte.
Razz: 1! 2! 3!
Russ: No! He kicked out! Matte is sending a message to Bryce that he’s nobody’s stepping stone!

Matte then takes the offensive, working over Bryce’s left arm momentarily. Bryce tries to reverse--and can’t--so he rakes the eyes and heads outside. Hightower yells at Bryce as Matte gets his vision straight. The count on the floor is applied, but Bryce rolls in to break it up on two occasions. Bryce walks by the announcers’ table and overhears Russ & Razz.

Russ: Bryce needs to get in there, precious time is ticking off the clock!
Razz: You’d think he knows that, but he’s still stalling.

Bryce starts yelling them. “Don’t you think I know that! I’m trying to win three matches here!” As Bryce pays too much attention to the announcers, Matte runs up to the top rope, and dives onto Bryce! They connect with the announce table, but it doesn’t break! Both men are on the floor, and Bryce is broken in half!

Razz: He’s broken in half!
Russ: There is no way either of these men continue!

Matte is up first, climbing up onto the announce table, screaming into the audience, who cheers in approval! The crowd gets behind Matte as he looks down at Bryce, who is being checked on by Hightower. He tells Matte to stay back, to which Matte yells “I really don’t give a shit!” and he dives onto Bryce on the floor! Hightower barely moves out of the way! Both men are down again as Hightower checks on them both. Once again, Matte is up first. Matte goes under the ring, and pulls out a garbage can full of plunder! The can is tossed in the ring! Matte rolls in, grabs a kendo stick, and sits in the corner. Hightower finally sees Bryce get to his feet, and Bryce rolls into the ring. Bryce lays in the ring, and Matte still sits in the corner. The crowd is going NUTS for Matte at this point, but he seems oblivious to it. Bryce gets up to one knee, and Matte charges out of the corner. Shot to the midsection with the Kendo stick! A second one over the back! Bryce is finally standing straight up and Matte nails him a third time right over the head. Matte with the cover, but only gets two! Matte goes back to the trash can as Bryce is face down on the mat, his hands covering his face (what could they be doing?). Matte gets a cookie sheet out of the can, and Bryce stands up with blood coming down his face. Cookie sheet to the face! Larson falls backwards, and Matte goes up top. Larson slowly gets to his feet, and Matte comes off the top, connecting with a hurricarana off the top! Larson holds onto the legs and rolls through for a two count! Matte hits him in the head with the cookie sheet again (he never let it go) to break up the fall, and Bryce is out on the mat again.

Russ: Matte is destroying Bryce with those shots!
Razz: Matte has come to fight, and he’s not backing down an inch!

Matte sets up the empty trash can in the corner. He picks up Bryce as Hightower pleads him to get back to “actual wrestling.” Matte looks at him, says “whatever” and whips Bryce across the ring. Reversal by Bryce, and Matte connects with the trash can, sending it flying into the second row.

Russ: The trash can is with the fans!
Razz: In the Arena Football League, the fans keep the ball. In the OOWF, the fans keep the trash can!

Bryce grabs the kendo stick, and charges Matte in the corner. Matte ducks and Bryce goes flying over the top rope. Bryce holds on, and is on the apron. Dropkick by Matte onto Bryce, and he falls to the floor!

Ring announcer: Seven minutes have expired in the Gauntlet, three minutes and eleven seconds remain!

Bryce barely pulls himself up and rolls into the ring. Matte picks him up and gets ready for the Nevermind DDT! Bryce, happy to see a wrestling hold, has it scouted and reverses out of it into a hammerlock. Matte outwrestles Bryce, reversing into a hammerlock of his own, then spinning Bryce around for a Northern Lights Suplex! Up and over, and Matte has the cover...1...2...No! Bryce bridges up, Matte turns around to get another pin attempt, but Bryce locks down and has him locked in a Dragon Sleeper. He catches the legs as well...Dragon’s Lair! With under three minutes left, Matte is locked in the Lair! Hightower checks, but Matte refuses to tap.

RA: Two minutes and eleven seconds remain!

Russ: Matte refuses to tap! Matte refuses to tap!
Razz: You only had to say it once!
Russ: But that’s how tough Matte is!

Bryce sinches down but can’t but put Matte away. We dip under two minutes, and Hightower leans in close. He realizes that Matte is out and calls for the bell!
WINNER in 7:59 - Bryce Larson (1:45 remains in the 10:11 time limit)

Bryce releases the hold as the fans in Springfield have witnessed eight of the most intense minutes of wrestling possible. Hightower helps Matte to his feet, but Matte pushes him away, using the ropes to stand up under his own power. The crowd pops for the performance that Matte put on, giving him a standing ovation. Even Bryce, totally out of character, walks over to Matte with his hand extended. Matte looks at Bryce’s hand, says “nevermind” and walks out!

Russ: Look at Matte, he went to war with Bryce Larson out there!
Razz: And don’t forget Russ, he didn’t tap. HE DIDN’T TAP!
Russ: Larson had that thing locked in for what felt like forever, and Matte refused to give up. You cannot help but root for a guy like Matte, whether he wants you to or not.

Bryce leans in the corner as Farrah has come out and is toweling the blood off of his face. She’s telling him he doesn’t have to continue, but Bryce disagrees on the mic.

If Matte can prove to everyone how tough he is against me, how can I possibly walk away now. Bring out my opponent, whoever it is.

GM The Rick appears on the screen one final time.

Bryce, you clearly underestimated Matte out there, clearly. Now, as you know, Concrete TG pulled himself out of the match earlier in the week, leaving me to find a suitable opponent for you. I have turned to an all-time wrestling legend for your opponent. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the OOWF, Doink the Clown!

Russ: Bryce wrestled on the indies for eight years, he must have faced a hundred different Doinks!
Razz: You can get that costume anywhere now.
Russ: Can Bryce beat Doink in 1:45? Can he?
Razz: I highly doubt it, he just took the beating of a lifetime from Matte.

Bryce can’t believe it as he walks to the center of the ring to start phase three of his gauntlet.

Bryce Larson “Run the Gauntlet” Match 3 vs. Doink the Clown

Doink plays with some fans before rolling into the ring. The referee calls for the bell, and Bryce extends his hand to Doink, proving he’s totally spent at this point and desperate to get a breather. Doink accepts, but then hits a drop toe hold with Bryce landing on the middle rope. Doink runs the ropes, and connects with a 6-1-9? The crowd chants along, but chants “C-T-G” instead. Bryce rolls out of the ring, completely confused, and decides to take a walk.

Russ: Is that really Doink! Or is that someone else playing Doink!
Razz: I have no idea! And Bryce isn’t sticking around to find out, either. He’s leaving!

Bryce makes it about ten feet from the ring where he’s confronted by Nayr, Damon Wrath and Blitz! Bryce stops dead in his tracks. Nayr grabs Bryce and rolls him back into the ring! Doink grabs Bryce and connects with the Long Arm of the Law! WTF! Now Doink has Bryce up one more time, and hits Final Justice! 1...2...3!
WINNER in 1:11 - Doink the Clown (with :34 left in the time limit)

Bryce makes it to his feet, in complete shock at what just happened. He starts yelling at Doink, who removes his mask to reveal Concrete TG! CTG has a mic!

Citizen Larson, justice has been served. Now, please listen to me. You proved today that you are an amazing athlete, and a great wrestler. Please take your rightful place with me, with us, with all these other amazing athletes, in the Heroes Guild.

Bryce looks at CTG, looks at Nayr, then looks to the crowd. They are chanting “Do it! Do it!” at Bryce, but he looks reluctant. Finally, Bryce shakes his head no, rolls out of the ring and slowly walks to the back, dejected at losing his gauntlet. CTG shakes his head in disapproval, with Nayr visibly telling CTG “He just doesn’t get it, Gryfon. He just doesn’t get it!” CTG can be seen responding to Nayr in kind, saying “he should Citizen Paladin...he should.”

DRINK & DESTROY vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK & TYTAN – No Disqualification

Moose and Tytan come to the ring first to a resounding chorus of boos. Drink and Destroy come to the top of the ramp, and Moose and Tytan leave the ring and make a beeline for them. Stank and Lock charge down the ramp as well, and the two teams meet in the middle, throwing punches. Tytan grabs Capslock and they head down the ramp trading shots to the head the whole way. Moose and Stank take a step back for a moment and stare at one another, then Moose snarls and charges at Stank, but Stank catches him with a back drop on the ramp. Moose gets to his feet and Stank spins around and kicks Moose right in the face, sending him back to the ramp, stunned.

Inside the ring, Capslock whips Tytan to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon, and Tytan lowers the boom on the back of Lock’s head. Tytan grabs Lock and sends him shoulder first into the ring post. Lock hits hard, and falls out of the ring to the floor, grabbing his shoulder. Tytan follows him to the outside and pulls Lock up and leans him against the ring post, then grabs a chair and swings for the fences, but Lock saves his life by moving out of the way. Steel meets steel and the chair warps around the ring post. Capslock reaches into the crowd and grabs someone’s drink and throws it in Tytan’s face, then rummages under the ring and comes out with a wooden broom, which he breaks over Tytan’s back, sending the big man to his knees.

Meanwhile, Moose and Stank have battled their way to the top of the ramp. Stank grabs Moose and slams him between the eyes with a head butt, dropping Moose to his knees. As Stank approaches, Moose nails him with a low blow that stuns Stank. Moose gets to his feet and slams Stank face first into the set, then catches him with a spinning elbow to the temple ant staggers Moose and sends him stumbling toward the edge of the stage. Moose charges, but Stank catches him and hits a STANK-U OFF THE STAGE! Moose sails through the air and crashes onto a conveniently placed area of electronic stuff. The crowd pops for the HOLY SHIT moment, and Stank stands on the stage and looks at Moose, then turns around, crosses himself, and tries a STANKSAULT! But Moose saves his life and rolls out of the way and Stank SLAMS onto the stuff. Stank gets to his hands and knees, and Moose manages to get to his feet, grabs Stank by the head and DDT’s him on the debris! Both men are down so let’s head back to ring side!

Tytan is on his knees after getting a broom broken across his back. Capslock rummages under the ring and pulls out a garbage can of plunder, pulls out a flower pot, and SHATTERS IT ON THE BACK OF TYTAN’S HEAD! Tytan falls to the floor face first, blood running of his head. Capslock rummages around a little more and pulls out a flogger and WHIPS THE HIDE OFF OF TYTAN! Tytan gets to his feet growling in pain, and turns around and catches the whip, and slams Lock in the face with a head butt. Tytan reaches down and grabs a piece of the broken flower pot, holds it in his hand, and punches Capslock in the head, opening a HUGE gash on his forehead! Capslock staggers away and tries to wipe the blood from his face, while Tytan reaches into the can and pulls out a baseball bat and heads toward Capslock.

At the top of the ramp, Moose and Stank are both crawling from the rubble. Stank picks up a monitor from the table and CRACKS Moose in the skull with it, sending him back to the wreckage. Stank grabs Moose by the foot and starts to drag him out of the wreckage and through the crowd toward the ring. Stank pauses every few feet to turn and stomp Moose to keep him from fighting. Just as they get to the ring, Stank turns and bends to pull Moose to his feet and Moose grabs a chair and SLAMS Stank in the face with it. Stank staggers backward and leans against the railing. Moose gets to his feet and charges at Stank and hits a diving clothesline! Moose hurls himself over the railing, and Stank bends backward over the railing, the wrong way, then falls over to the floor, grabbing his back.

Meanwhile, Tytan charges and clips the back of Lock’s leg with the bat, sending him to the floor. Tytan rolls Capslock into the ring and throws a couple of chairs into the ring, then slides a table in as well. On the other side of the ring, Moose rummages around and finds a couple of ladders, and a table of his own. Tytan and Moose set up the ladders, then stack the tables on top of one another. Tytan grabs the chair and swings but Lock ducks and grabs Tytan by the back of the head and slams him into the ladder. Tytan’s head bounces off the steel and he drops the chair. Lock picks it up and SLAMS Tytan across the face, then slides Tytan onto the lower table and starts climbing the ladder.

On the other side of the ring, Moose has pulled Stank into the ring and slams him back first into the ladder, then grabs him and hits one of those Randy Orton type back breakers. Moose tries to pull Stank to his feet again, but Stank returns the low blow, doubling Moose over in pain. Stank pulls Moose up and lifts him, and drops him on the top table, Stank wipes the blood from his face and heads to the other ladder and starts climbing. Drink & Destroy both get to the tops of the ladders, and pause for a moment for the fans to soak in the spectacle, the crowd goes insane! Waiting was probably a bad move because both Tytan and Moose slide off the tables and start climbing the ladders as well. Soon all four men are at the tops of the ladders battling it out. Tytan grabs Capslock on his shoulders! It looks like he is going to try an Ultimo Ending from the top of the ladder! On the other side, Stank slams Moose’s head onto the top of the ladder and grabs him by the throat for a choke slam from the top of the ladder!

As Capslock and Moose fight to escape the moves, the ladders begin to wobble from the weight and movement. The crowd can sense what is going to happen, but the wrestlers seem oblivious to it. The ladders rock more, and even the referee looks concerned. He turns to the back and makes the dreaded “X” sign before anything even happens. This can’t be good. Finally both ladders reach their tipping point and ALL FOUR MEN FALL OFF THE LADDERS AND CRASH THROUGH TWO TABLES! There are bodies everywhere and no one is moving! We cut to a quick replay and see that Stank landed awkwardly on his back, and Capslock landed knee first on Moose’s head. Tytan landed on the leg of the table, leaving a nasty gash on his side, then had the ladder fall on his head to boot. The referee gives a remarkably fast ten count, then waves the match off and motions to the back for medical help.
WINNERS – No Contest in 22:49

15 MINUTES OF FAME

L.L. Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out” blares thru the arena as it’s time for 15 Minutes of Fame with Eric O’Mac. Eric strolls down the aisle, kissing babies and hugging women on the way down… or vice versa. Nevertheless, Eric’s in the ring, along with three chairs and has his mic.

EOM: Ladies and gents, we have an interesting segment tonight. No need to hype it and run my mouth, cause Lord knows, these two guys will take care of that and then some. They’ve had some problems here lately, but they’re still my favorite tag in the business today and they’ll work thru it. Please welcome the self-proclaimed, and hell, Eric O’Mac-proclaimed, #1 PROMO TEAM IN THE OOWF! Johnny Adrenaline! Attitude Adjuster! THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS!

“Right Now” from Van Halen booms thru the arena, and the curtain waves a little, and a body, likely Johnny’s, appears to be slightly shoved out of it. It goes back in momentarily, then walks back out, and it is Johnny, yapping at somebody behind the curtain… and he’s pulling a huge plate glass window on wheels. Johnny gets to the ring and beckons Eric’s help in lifting it into the ring, and before he can get settled, AA’s coming to the ring… and HE’S pulling a plate glass window on wheels as well. Eric helps AA with his window and we have everybody here now.

EOM: What’s with the…?

AA: What’s with you stealing my idea, Johnny?

JA: YOUR idea? You stole my idea!! I went to the glass museum and everything!

AA: No, no… don’t fool yourself. I told you about this years ago. I said that when the day came that we were going to break up, I was gonna throw you thru a window, Barber Shop style.

JA: You never said that!

AA: What’d I say then?

JA: You said when we broke up, you’d retire and be placing bets in Sac-town in the backs of barber shops.

AA: No I didn’t.

JA: Yes you did.

AA: No I didn’t.

Emotions escalate and Johnny and AA get chest to chest before Eric steps between them.

EOM: Guys, guys… it pains me to see you two like this. Let’s get right down to it. What’s the deal here?

JA: The deal is Alan’s insecure about me coming back from a career threatening injury and thinks I’m stealing his spotlight.

AA: No, the deal is you’re not holding up your half of the team.

JA: Oh, that’s bullshit and you know it!

AA: Bullshit my ass! If you were 75% of what you once were, we’d be the tag team champions right now!

JA: Maybe if you hadn’t tried to Rick Martel me last week on Mayhem, we’d be the tag team champions right now!

AA: Look Tito, if we’re gonna breakup, we might as well… [Johnny steps on AA’s toes.] ...I mean, I’m just trying to teach you some tough love.

EOM: All right, all right… I see we have a lack of communication.

AA: No, the communication’s just fine. It’s cool. Next week Rick’s gonna come out and...

JA: SHUT THE FUCK UP, ALAN!!

EOM: See what I mean?

JA: Here’s the deal, man. You bring a plate glass window out to the ring, but you’re not MAN ENOUGH to put me thru it! That’s what’s wrong here!

AA: Oh is that a fact? Well, let me tell you something, Marty Janetty. I’ll put your ass thru this window whenever I damn well please. Then I’ll put you thru THAT ONE, too!

JA: [getting in AA’s face] Why don’t ya do it right now then? Come on, man. You wanna do this, let’s get it done with.

AA: No, I’m not gonna do that right now.

JA: Why not? Huh? [Johnny backs AA up to the pane of glass and the crowd begins to buzz] That’s cause you’re too old! You’re too fat! You’re too over the hill! And because of Penn State, you’re too broke!

With that, AA’s had enough and pulls back to deck JA with a right hand, but when he rears back, he puts his elbow thru the glass!! Needless to say, the window pane shatters and Johnny and Eric find this hilarious.

JA: That’s exactly what I thought!

AA: Oh, it’s funny now? I see. It’s all fun and games til someone gets hurt.

JA: You’re not hurt.

AA: No, I’m not hurt, but that’s not the point.

JA: Well what IS the point, because I’ve been waiting for you to make a coherent one.

AA: The point is… um… er… I’m not the one Rick Marteling you.

JA: Oh that’s bullshit. You tried to walk out on me last week!

AA: No no… you’ve tried to Rick Martel me by going around my back negotiating a contract for yourself!

JA: What??

AA: Yeah! Can-Am Connection style! You think I didn’t realize what was going on?

JA: I have no clue what you’re… OH! THAT contract negotiation! So it bothers you that I’m trying to get paid?

AA: Yeah, Johnny. That hurts me inside.

JA: Well maybe I wouldn’t have to if I wasn’t taking your BOWL GAME OF THE YEAR, PLAYOFF GAME OF THE DECADE, and your NBA LOCK OF THE CENTURY!

AA: Those didn’t work out too well, did they?

JA: No, they didn’t.

AA: How much ya lose?

JA: Altogether?

AA: Yeah.

JA: Bout eight grand.

EOM: EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS??

AA: That’s my bad, buddy.

JA: It’s okay. When the child support check comes in the mail, that’s where it goes. No big deal.

AA: Good. I mean, well, then maybe you have a legitimate reason to negotiate then!

JA: Yeah, Tom Zenk, Z-Man, whatever the fuck you wanna be. Check your facts next time before you go runnin off at the mouth!

AA: Oh, don’t cock an attitude with me, son!

JA: Son?

AA: Yeah, “son.” I got some facts for ya. Fact is you’re NOT holding up your end of the team!

JA: Oh here we go again.

AA: No, ya see, if you weren’t so busy with your new lady friend in your off time, maybe you’d be more focused on the big picture.

JA: Oh, are you shooting here?

AA: Yes… um… YES I’M SHOOTING, GODDAMMIT! It’s Dallas this, flying to the beach that, weekend in the mountains here, week in the islands there.

JA: Hey, we never went to the islands.

AA: Work with me, Johnny. Hell, next thing you tell me is that you’re going to DisneyWorld in May!

JA: Well, as a matter of fact, yes, we are.

RF: SPACE MOUNTAIN, FAT BOY!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

AA: Exactly my point, Naitch.

JA: I see what is is. And what it is is what it is. You’re jealous.

AA: No, you’re paranoid I’m trying to take her from you.

JA: [suddenly wearing a neon cowboy hat, sunglasses, and eating a Slim Jim] Oh, so THAT’s why you were walking out on me last week. You were going to the back to check on her?

AA: She wasn’t at the arena last week.

JA: And Williams and Jack aren’t Akeem and the Bossman either – but if that’s how it is, Hulkster, why don’t you come take a bite out of the Madness? DIG IT!

AA: Are you sick or something, Johnny?

JA: [back to normal again] Huh? Hey! Didn’t Ax get real sick or something? Isn’t that why they had to replace him with Crush?

AA: That and Ax was just a dumbass anyway. Are you suggesting we add a third member to the Chickenshit Heels and phase you out? Eric, you want to be Crush to my Smash?

EOM: I don’t know, man…

JA: Well, if anyone would know about the Repo Man, it WOULD be you, Mr. Gimme Penn State And The Points.

AA: You just can’t let that go, can ya?

JA: Ya know what else I can’t let go of? Your drinking problem!!

AA: Oh, are YOU shooting now, Johnny?

JA: I dunno. Do you even have a drinking problem?

AA: No.

JA: Then I guess not… Look, it’s not ME showing up to the arena six sheets to the wind, slurring words left and right and no-showing matches.

AA: I never no showed a match.

JA: Well, no. but you get the point.

AA: OH! The Scott Hall – Outsiders breakup. Nice. I forgot that one. Do I need to buy you a FUBU shirt and some hair dye?

JA: No, but you could use some for yourself. I see a little gray right here. [Johnny flicks the side of AA’s hair.]

AA: Get yo hands off me, sucka!

JA: Wha??

AA: Yeah, now can you dig that, Stevie? It's gonna be on like neck bone on a string and chicken wings and collards and watermelon and all that shit.

JA: Tell me you didn't just say that.

AA: Tell me I didn't just say that.

JA: You did.

AA: Shit.

JA: What's next? Wait, does this mean I gotta get Ahmed Johnson after you and call him Big T?

AA: Lord, I hope not.

JA: So we've now established that you're old, drunk, a glory hound, a copycat, a shitty gambler, AND a racist!

AA: Yeah, yeah, but um.... at least I don’t have a lazy eye, Robert Gibson!

JA: When the hell have you ever been super face-in-peril? You ain’t no Ricky Morton!

EOM: Did they ever have a real breakup?

JA: I vaguely recall Ricky becoming Richard and the York Foundation putting the beats on Robert.

AA: I remember something like that, too. And then Robert got canned for being the less talented of the two.

JA: You can be fired for that?

AA: Apparently so. At least in WCW.

JA: Oh, well the OOWF needs to adopt that policy so they can FIRE YOU!

AA: OH!!! So is THAT how it’s gotta be?

JA: As a matter of fact, that IS how it’s gotta be!

EOM: Come on, guys. It ain’t gotta be all this.

AA: No, you know what, Eric. It does!

JA: Yeah, it DOES!

EOM: So… what are you two trying to say?

AA: What we’re trying to… I mean, what I’m trying to say is this. Sunday Night! The world's largest sporting extravaganza comes a week early! Because at... at... what's the name of the pay per view again?

EOM: Shit, I can’t remember, and the bookerman hasn’t posted a thread for it yet.

JA: Yes he did.

EOM: He did?

JA: Yeah, it's in the tour schedule.

EOM: Oh... well I'm not taking the time to find it.

AA: Damn… anyway, at the pay per view, it’s gonna be ATTITUDE ADJUSTER versus JOHNNY ADRENALINE! In a, wait for it.....

All: [simultaneously] LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH!!

JA: And be on the lookout before the show! We’ll have the official CONTRACT SIGNING for the match!

AA: Excellent idea, Johnny! I mean, oh yeah?? Fine, I’ll sign that contract in your blood!!

JA: You might sign it in ketchup, but not my blood. I know better.

AA: Oh you do?

JA: Yeah.

EOM: Well… I think there’s only one more question to be asked:

JA: What’s that?

EOM: Is anyone going thru that glass or not?

AA: Good point. We’re approaching Run DEA levels of babbling – of course, our content is actually relevant – and we still have a window to smash.

JA: For those of you keeping score, this would fall under the Birthday Cake Law of Total Prop Utility.

AA: That’s my boy.

JA: I try.

AA: Well, come on let’s do this.

AA grabs Johnny, but Johnny pulls away.

JA: No way, I’m not taking the bump.

AA: Suck it up, Johnny.

JA: Fuck you! You’re taking the bump!

AA: You crazy?

JA: Eric, do you wanna take the bump?

EOM: Man, this is my show! I’m not taking the bump!

AA: Dammit, Johnny, you’re fucking it all up!

JA: Me? If you’d just take the damn glass bump, we’d be done!

AA throws up his hands in disgust and turns around to walk away. Johnny takes this opportunity to pick up the chair and jump AA from behind… but when he swings the chair back, THE CHAIR GOES RIGHT THRU THE WINDOW, smashing it to smithereens!! AA turns around in shock.

AA: LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!

JA: It was an accident!!

AA: Shit, Johnny… a 2000+ word promo up in smoke because of your incompetence!! What kind of shitty payoff is this?? Two windows and nobody went thru either of them??

JA: Ya know, there’s the EricTron over there.

EOM: The EricTron 6300SE, thank you very much, and no, you’re not breaking it.

AA: Come on, man. Take one for the team.

JA: What team? You want to break us up so bad.

AA: Ya know Johnny, I'm just tired of carrying your Randy Mulkey ass around.

With that, AA pops Johnny with a right hand. Johnny answers back with one of his own. Eric is in shock as The Chickenshit Heels implode right here on 15 Minutes of Fame. Lefts and rights, they have at it and AA tackles Johnny. They slug it out on the mat, neither man gaining an advantage, and they roll to the floor. We got a slugfest on the floor until Johnny backdrops AA into the crowd. JA throws a beer on AA, but AA goes to the eyes to stop the assault. AA takes a bite of a fan’s hot dog then hits Johnny with it, with JA selling like he’d been struck by lightning. AA dumps a tub of popcorn on Johnny and mounts him for some punches, but Johnny head butts him and they fight up thru the crowd further. Johnny suplexes AA on the aisle steps, which AA no sells and shoves Johnny because it actually hurt. Johnny shoves back and they slug it out again. All the way up the aisle and into the concourse before they fight out a door to the parking lot. The door closes and the camera follows no further.

IHOP vs. THE HEROES GUILD – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match

Damon Wrath, Blitz & Nayr head to the ring together, soaking in the cheers of the Michiganders in the arena. Blitz and Nayr do some flippy-floppy stuff off the ropes to jazz the crowd up while Damon flexes. IHOP comes to ringside next, Fezzik and The lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth at their side. The bell sounds, and were underway! Skurge and Damon square off and exchange blows to begin with. Skurge sends Damon into the ropes and takes him down with a clothesline. Big jumping leg drop and SYB begs for a tag in. Skurge tags in The Amnesiac instead, and SYB looks crushed. TA whips Damon into the ropes and catches him with a flying forearm. Kip up and Damon eats another forearm. Kip up and Damon sidesteps the next forearm and TA crashes to the mat. No kip up this time. Nayr tags in and dropkicks TA. Tajiri kicks keep TA down. Nayr goes to the top to fly, but Skurge rushes over to knock him down. Nayr sees him and fends him off, allowing TA to get to his feet and suplex Nayr to the mat. SYB BEGS to be tagged in, and Skurge gets the tag instead. Skurge tosses Nayr around for a few moments, then hurls him to the outside.

SYB and TA drop down to begin some festivities, but Damon and Blitz come over to even the score. The referee has his hands full trying to prevent Fezzik and Dorothy from getting involved, and chaos ensues. Blitz runs the railing and crashes into SYB, sending him into the guardrail. Damon has a chair and thwacks Amnesiac, sending him to the ground. Nayr scrambles back into the ring, with Skurge in hot pursuit. Nayr hits the ropes and greets him with a dropkick. Blitz tags in and he comes flying off the turnbuckle with a corkscrew senton. Blitz drags Skurge into the corner and hits a Handstand Corner kick. He drags Skurge out to the middle of the ring and goes up top again. BLITZ FLIP! 1…2… and SYB is in to break it up. Damon comes in and quickly all 6 men are in the ring battling again. Press slam from Damon lays TA out. Blitz flies off the ropes at Skurge and hits a springboard flip and sending both men to the floor. Blitz gets thrown into the announce table by Fezzik. Dorothy rushes over and helps him to his feet.
Nayr has SYB twisted into an anaconda vice, and Damon runs around the ring to tackle Fezzik, who has climbed onto the apron. The referee begins to count, warning Fezzik to get off the apron. Dorothy tosses a microphone into the ring, where TA grabs it and crushes Nayr in the back of the head with it. The ‘thud’ echoes over the sound system and the referee turns around to see SYB drag Nayr to his feet, KICK WHAM SABBATH STUNNER! And get the 1…2…3!
WINNERS in 10:59, IHOP!

FEAR US vs. CHRS COLE & SPIN HANSEN – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match

Chris Cole comes down the aisle first and warms up while his partner, Spin Hansen, makes his way to the ring. They discuss strategy as Fear Us, accompanied by Wally B. King (apparently Mama Williams is ”working”), make their entrance. A stare down in center ring devolves into – handshakes? Wow. Outback Jack and Spin head to their corners, leaving the two former World Champions to start things off. Referee Angelo Barros calls for the bell and we're underway.
Cole and Williams circle and lock up. Cole grabs a headlock, but Williams shoots him off. Cole rebounds off the ropes and Williams buries a knee in his midsection, and follows up with an elbow to the back of the head. Cole drops to one knee, and Williams hits the ropes and drives a boot into his temple. Williams pulls Cole up and snaps him over with a suplex, He goes back to the ropes and tries to drop an elbow, but Cole rolls out of the way. Cole is up first and catches Williams with a right hand, then grabs Williams’ head and slams his face down across his knee. Williams stumbles back and Cole levels him with a clothesline. Cole pulls Williams to his feet and runs him into the corner, making the tag to Spin.

Spin enters the ring, and Cole whips Williams into a snap power slam. Spin hooks the leg, but OBJ is in to break it up at two. Barros sends OBJ out and Spin grabs Williams in a chin lock. Williams fights to his feet and frees himself with a pair of elbows to the midsection. He dives for the FU corner, but Spin grabs his leg and drags him away. Williams kicks free, and Cole comes in and grabs him. OBJ tries to help but Barros cuts him off as Spin and Cole plant Williams with a tandem belly-to-back suplex. Barros turns around in time to see Spin tagging in Cole.

Spin hits an over-the-knee backbreaker and holds Williams in place as Cole come of the middle rope and drives an elbow into his throat. Spin leaves the ring as Cole covers and Barros counts One...Two..OBJ dives onto Cole to break it up. OBJ drags Cole to his feet, sends him to the ropes, and turns him inside out with a clothesline. OBJ heads back to the FU corner and Barros starts a ten count. Both men stir at four, with Cole getting to his feet first. He moves in, and takes a head butt to the stomach. Cole stumbles back, and Williams explodes off the mat with a clothesline, then rolls to the corner and tags OBJ.

OBJ storms across the ring and spears Cole as he gets up. He pulls Cole up and rocks him with punches, then sends him hard to the corner and crushes him with a clothesline. Cole stumbles out of the corner and gets planted with a power slam. Spin is in to help his partner, but OBJ is up and kicks him in the stomach, following up with a DDT. Unfortunately, that gives Cole time to recover, and he takes OBJ down with a chop block as Spin rolls out of the ring.

Cole stomps away on OBJ, then scoops him up and slams him to the mat. He continues the beating as OBJ fights to his feet and gets in some punches of his own. Cole ducks a wild swing, and catches OBJ with an atomic drop. Cole sends OBJ to the ropes and plants him with a spine buster. He covers, but Williams dives in to break it up. Spin is in as well, and we have a pier four brawl. Spin and Cole get the advantage and back Williams and OBJ into opposite corners. They attempt tandem Irish whips, but OBJ goes low and alley-oop’s Williams into a flying tackle on Spin. Cole swings at OBJ, who ducks. OBJ grabs Cole and plants him with a belly-to-belly suplex, but doesn’t bother with a cover as Barros is busy with Williams and Spin. OBJ grabs Spin from behind, and Fear Us drag him to the middle of the ring. They stun Spin with punches, then head to opposite sides of the ring. They attempt the Debt Collection (formerly the Call of the Wild) but Cole comes out of nowhere and tackles OBJ. Williams side-steps Spin, hits the opposite ropes, and bulldogs him into the mat. Spin rolls to the outside, and Williams makes to follow, but Barros cuts him off and sends him back to the FU corner.

Cole has OBJ pinned down and wails away with punches. He drives an elbow into his throat and covers, but OBJ easily kicks out. Cole sees Spin climb onto the apron and runs OBJ head-first into the corner. Cole hits a series of chops, and then makes the tag. Spin comes in and they pull OBJ out of the corner, They lift him by the throat and slam him into the turnbuckles, then Cole climbs to the top as Spin sets up a power bomb. It looks like their setting up the 100-Proof, but we’ll never know, as Williams sprints across the ring and hits the ropes, knocking Cole off balance. As he teeters, OBJ grabs Spin’s legs and flips him onto his back, then falls back, slingshotting him into the turnbuckles. Spin hits the corner and Cole falls, crotching himself and toppling to the outside.

OBJ pulls Spin to his feet and drags him to the middle of the ring. He drops him with a right hand as Williams heads to the apron. OBJ lifts Spin for a wheelbarrow suplex, and Williams goes to springboard off the top rope, but Cole drags him to the outside. Spin takes advantage and reverses the suplex attempt into a roll-up, but OBJ kicks out at two.

Spin and OBJ get slowly to their feet, exchanging punches. Spin gets the upper hand and sends OBJ to the ropes, catching him with a sidewalk slam. He foregoes the pin and pulls OBJ up, tossing him into the corner. Spin lifts OBJ onto the top rope and climbs up for a superplex, but OBJ fights back. While they slug it out, Williams sends Cole hard into the ring steps and slides into the ring. He gets under Spin and lifts him onto his shoulders. Williams steps back and OBJ launches himself off the turnbuckles – Doomsday device! Williams keeps Cole out of the ring with a baseball slide dropkick as OBJ makes the cover. Barros counts One…Two…Three!
WINNERS, in 16:55, and still OOWF Tag Team Champions, Fear Us.

FIREWOMAN vs. TYSON KINCAID – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match

“Idle Hands” fires up over the PA, and Tyson Kincaid makes his way down the ramp to a mixed reaction. Kincaid has a far-away look in his eye. I hope that’s not an indication of things to come. He does some light stretching in the ring, when “Fire Woman” blasts over the speakers, and the crowd is sure this time; as they are booing the crap out of the Intercontinental Champ. Fire finds this hilarious as she laughs all the way down the ramp; pulling out all the “Heel Entrance Greatest Hits”: fake “psych” handshakes, laughing at the crowd, showing off her belt a little TOO much. She hits all the notes on the way down. Finally she climbs into the ring and poses. More Boos. She’s just about to turn back to the ring and hand her belt to Mel Creech, when she is ASSAULTED by the PEARL HARBOR DOUBLE AXE-HANDLE by Kincaid. Creech calls for the bell, and WE’RE UNDERWAY!

Kincaid just POUNDS away on Fire, with clubbing blow after clubbing blow. He finally grabs Fire and hits a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX WITH BRIDGE. That gets 2. Kincaid continues the attack with a STANDING MOONSAULT INTO A THESZ PRESS! Kincaid just hammers away with lefts and right. Firewoman is knocked loopy. Kincaid has enough of this, and hauls Fire up again for a T-BONE SUPLEX! That might be Shelton’s finisher, but that’s not enough to stop Fire; because the count gets just 2. Kincaid slaps the mat and heads to the top. He hits a HARLEM HANGOVER on Fire and covers again. That gets 2. He pulls Fire up again, and hits a DOUBLE UNDERHOOK SUPLEX into a BACKBREAKER! That MUST be it. Cover: 1, 2, NO! Kincaid hops off and starts yapping at Creech. This goes on for a little bit, because Tyson is completely distracted when FIRE ROLLS HIM UP IN THE SCHOOLBOY! Tyson just does kick out after a long 2.

Kincaid has a look of utter shock on his face, and when he turns around he sees Fire, crouching, giving him the International Gesture for “C’Mon”. Kincaid, pissed, charges. Fire ducks under and hooks in a waist lock. She ducks a back elbow, but Tyson has enough space to hit a STANDING SWITCH. He EATS a back elbow. Tyson doesn’t let go, but Fire is able to stretch and flip up and NAIL a HURRICARANA! More shocked than anything is Kincaid as he starts stand up, facing the crowd. Fire hits the far ropes, sprints and HITS A FLYING DIAMOND CUTTER which catches Tyson RIGHT in the throat on the top rope! Fire lands on her feet on the outside, and even the crowd has to grudgingly cheer the awesomeness of that last move. Kincaid looks done for in the ring. Fire makes the “It’s Over” gesture, and heads up to the top rope, turning to face the crowd. She’s going for the BFE! She leaps…and EATS CANVAS as Tyson rolls out of the way. Fire holds her stomach Jericho-Style after crashing and burning. Tyson takes a second, and DIVES for Fire’s leg, and takes it. He rolls through and has a HALF-BOSTON CRAB on Fire!

Fire struggles for a second, but then realizes that just Lance Storm uses it; it doesn’t mean it’s still not a shitty move; so Fire DRILLS Kincaid in the temple with the heel of her free foot (which is reason number 1 as to why it’s a shitty move). Kincaid is slightly loopy after that, and has top break the hold. Kincaid is just sitting, unmoving, in the middle of the ring. Fire takes a second, and hits the far ropes, then the near ropes and DRILLS KINCAID WITH A BASEMENT DROPKICK! That’s gotta be it. Cover: 1, 2, NO! Fire slaps the mat and goes to follow up. Tyson greets her with a punch to the gut. Fire’s doubled over, and Tyson scrambles up and grabs Fire’s shoulder. He spins her around and hits an INVERTED DDT! Crowd liked that, as HE makes the “It’s Over” sign. Creech checks on Firewoman because that looked like it really hurt, but Fire is up to a knee. Tyson spots this and heads to the top rope. He’s gonna try for THIN AIR! Tyson is up and turns out to the crowd and…is CROTCHED on the Top Rope by TYTAN who CAME OUT OF THE CROWD! The crowd shits on this turn of events, but of course the people in the ring saw nothing. Fire is up, and simply sees Kincaid crotched on the top rope. She gets a sly grin on her face and walks over, climbing the same ropes. She gets her feet on the top and has Tyson’s head hooked under her arm…It’s a…SWEET DREAMS from Fire! Is that Fire’s form of an apology to Davin? Tyson is dead. Fire needlessly ascends the turnbuckles and faces out to the crowd. She takes off and NAILS THE BFE! That’ll do it. Fire covers, one, two, thr….wait, was that three? The referee calls for the bell, but replays show, Kincaid rolled his shoulder just before three!
WINNER in 14:53 by PINFALL…FIREWOMAN

Firewoman rolls out of the ring and grabs her title. Inside, Kincaid pleads his case, but it falls on deaf ears. Firewoman smirks and holds the title high and backs up the ramp. She turns around to head to the back and sees Tytan has come out to the top of the ramp. Fire turns back and sees Kincaid in the ring. Fire is about to hop to one side of the audience when she sees FF Capslock heading through the crowd toward her. Fire hops the guard rail on the other side of the ramp and hurries through the crowd to the back.

[mooseheadjack]

DAVIN MORELAND & ALEXANDER DARLING vs. POE & ERIC O’MAC

“COME ON MAN” blasts over the sound system signaling the start to LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out” and the arrival of one Eric O’Mac to the arena. The former world champion steps out from the back to a big ovation here in Michigan. He makes his way down the aisle in his trademark Oakley’s slapping the hands of a few fans. He gets into the ring and makes his customary “fans love it Douche bag Pose” as he waits for his partner to make his appearance. The new entrance of “Miseria Cantare” by AFI starts and the big man, Poe, slowly makes his way out from the back. As usual, Selena is right there with him as they make their way down the aisle. Another big ovation from this crowd for the current #1 contender to the OOWF World Title greets him as he steps in the ring. Selena stays on the outside as Poe gets in the ring and makes his way over towards Eric. They’re going over some last minute strategy as “LADIES and GENTLEMEN…There Can Be Only One” booms and then the crowd viciously turns from cheers to boos. “Prelude 12/21” begins to play as Alexander and Alexis Darling come out onto the stage with their slow-mo camera douchebaggery entrance. The blue spotlight is focused on them as they just stand there and soak in the atmosphere. After the full song plays, instead of cutting to the normal Darling entrance, “NO * NO * NOTORIOUS” kicks in and OOWF World Champion Davin Moreland steps out with the lovely Samantha Darling. Davin is being his typical oblivious douche bag as he seems to believe he’s getting cheered on his way down to the ring. All four members of Run DEA are busy ducking and weaving through the garbage being thrown at them. Alexander and Alexis start circling towards Selena when Poe jumps down from the ring and stands in their way. The Darlings just slide under the bottom rope and make their way into their corner. Davis Hightower looks from corner to corner and just shakes his head as he knows that controlling this match is going to be impossible and he sighs as he calls for the bell.

Poe steps to the apron as does Alexander and it looks like Davin and Eric will be starting us off and they start with a clean lockup. Well, alrighty then. They fight for position and circle around the ring until Davin pushes Eric into the corner. Hightower calls for a clean break and he gets one, well a smug one, but clean nonetheless? Back to the center of the ring and they fight for position again and this time it’s Davin who gets to the ropes and we get another clean break? They lock up for a third time and Davin again gets pushed back into a corner, but this time it’s his own so Alexander tags himself in and he’s about to lay into Eric with a knife-hand chop but Eric ducks under and does a roll into his corner and tags in Poe. Poe steps into the ring with a sinister smile and Darling looks tentative now. AD charges though and starts to throw haymakers at Poe but he’s shrugging them off as he picks Darling up by the throat and tosses him into the corner. Poe starts ramming his shoulder into Alexander’s midsection before starting to throw elbows to the side of Alexander’s head.

A quick tag to Eric and the anticipation is building, but Alex quickly puts an end to that as he drops down outside of the ring and heads back around to his corner. He slides back in the ring and reaches up to tag Moreland and we’re back to where we began this match. EOM and DM go to lock up again but Davin slides behind and grabs a waist lock to take Eric off his feet. Both guys are down on the mat and we go though the indy-wanker mat reversal love fest. Headlock to body scissors to attempted dropkick to sweeping the leg to all of the rest. And the OOWF crowd goes batshit with the golf clap of mutual applause when Davin and Eric get back to their feet. Poe is on the apron and calls for the tag so Eric acquiesces and makes the tag to bring the big man in. And the rules quickly go out the window as these two stand in the center of the ring and start trading closed-fist punches. Rights from Poe, lefts from Davin until Poe gets the advantage and he whips Davin to the ropes. Davin comes off the ropes and hits a shoulder-block on Poe that staggers him. Poe stays on his feet and runs to the ropes himself and he hits Davin with a shoulder of his own. Davin staggers himself, but he takes the hit and bounces off another set of ropes. And then Poe. And then Davin again. And then Poe tries it for a third time, but Alexander slides over and lifts the knee into Poe’s back. Well that pisses Poe off who turns to face Alex and that’s a mistake as Davin hits a high running knee to Poe’s back and sends him face first to the ropes where Alexander jumps off and snaps his neck across the top rope. Poe staggers back right into Davin’s waiting arms who drop him with an inverted DDT.

And Run DEA takes advantage now and shows the teamwork that is instinctual between these two and they start working over Poe’s ankle. Both Alex and Davin have a history of working over the ankle of Poe and it seems like that’s still the strategy tonight. AD is in the ring now as he sets Poe’s ankle up across the middle rope and jumps up on it and Davis calls him on it. Alex is listening to Hightower’s complaints as he pulls him into a neutral corner, but this allows DM to grab Poe and bring him into the corner where he slams Poe’s ankle into the ring post. Eric rushes into the ring to try and make the save, but Alexander points this out and Davis intercepts allowing Darling and Moreland to work the double-team on Poe. More quick tags and more working over the leg, knee, and ankle of Poe. DM and AD are putting on a tag exhibition right now as the crowd tries to get Poe some momentum behind him. It seems to be working as Poe ducks under an Irish Whip attempt by Darling and he comes off the ropes with a leaping clothesline.

Both men are down as the ref begins his 10 count, Poe starts crawling toward his corner and as he gets closer, Alex reaches out and grabs hold of the ankle and pulls back and drags him back to his corner to make the tag to Davin. DM slingshots over the top rope and drops an elbow across Poe’s back. And Run DEA is back on the offense. More quick tags and a ton of old-school tag team moves between them as they distract Hightower as Poe is finally able to make a tag. But since Davis didn’t see it, he escorts Eric back to his corner. Davin and Alex also complete the standby slap your own hand to constitute a tag. Eric is getting frustrated as he’s trying to will Poe to fight back and make the tag, but it’s going to be tough as Davin “WHOO” Moreland locks on a figure four right near his corner. He’s got it locked in as he leans back. Hightower gets low to check on Poe and Davin reaches up and Alex grabs his hands for the extra leverage and Poe screams in pain. Hightower turns a second too late and doesn’t see any shenanigans. Poe falls back and his shoulders are down…

1…
2…
And he gets a shoulder up as DM grabs a hold of AD again. And again Davis is a second too late. As he checks on Poe again, Davin goes to reach once again, but this time Davis is quick and sees it and forces Davin to break the hold. Davin slams the mat in frustration as he tags back out to Alexander. Darling is in and he goes to drop an elbow on Poe, but he rolls out of the way. Alexander is back on his feet and he goes for another elbow but again Poe rolls out of the way. Poe is to the ropes and he’s pulling himself up as he hops on one leg as AD charges him, Poe notices at the last possible second and ducks his head and back body drops Alex over the top rope where he goes splat. Poe dives over to his corner to make the tag to EOM.

Eric thinks about entering the ring, but he notices Darling still lying prone on the outside and he seemingly says fuck it as he takes a running start down the apron and hits a picture perfect MAC ATTACK on the floor. Eric gets to his feet and the crowd starts a nice “Holy Shit” chant and it distracts them from Davin Moreland getting in the ring and looking around. He sees Eric reach down and start to pick up Darling when he takes a running start…NO HANDS SUICIDE PLANCHA over the top takes out Eric and Alex. The crowd is going insane right now and it starts to get even louder as they notice Poe look over and then he starts to climb the ropes. He gets to the top and just as everyone is getting to their feet…CROSS BODY off the top and now all four are down and the crowd is chanting “OOWF…OOWF…OOWF!!!”

Davis Hightower is looking down at the carnage on the outside and he just shrugs as he looks for a vendor in the audience to order a Mai-Tai. Poe is the first one to his feet and he grabs Alexander Darling and pulls him toward the barricade where he sets him in a chair. The crowd begins chanting Poe’s name as he moves and takes a running start looking to take Alex’s head off with an Yakuza kick, but AD slides off the chair and Poe’s foot slams into the steel barricade and he crumbles to the ground in pain. Alex is about to go on the attack when he’s spun around from behind by Eric and gets slammed head first into the Easter Island announce table. And in fact slams him over and over and over again until Alexander staggers back and we can see he’s bleeding. Davin is finally back to his feet and he pushes past Eric and Alex to get to Poe who is limping back to his feet and the two big men start slugging it out. Poe goes for a kick, which Davin grabs and it looks like Poe’s in trouble once again, but Poe seems to have suckered DM in by grabbing the foot. Poe drops down and monkey flips Moreland over and he lands back first across the steel steps.

Poe starts looking under the ring until he finds what he’s looking for and he pulls out a large box and we see him pull out a light tube as he stalks over to Davin. Meanwhile Alexander is being taken apart by Eric on the other side of the ring. Eric picks AD up and slams him hard to the concrete floor. Darling tries to start crawling under the ring to get away from this assault but Eric reaches under to pull him back and that proves to be a mistake as Alexander comes back out with a sledgehammer that he slams across Eric’s face. Blood is spilled. Crowd goes nuts. On the other side of the ring Poe has gone medieval on Davin as he swings the light tubes at his skull like they were ancient weapons of destruction. Moreland is cut wide open as he tries to avoid the barrage of shots from Poe. The bloody Alexander gets the now bloodied Eric to his feet and whips him face first into the steel ring post. O’Mac is down and Alexander looks across the ring where he sees Poe digging a piece of glass into Davin’s scalp. Alexander gets into the ring and gets a running start as Selena is trying to get Poe’s attention. Darling runs and dives through the ropes just as Poe realizes what Selena was yelling and he looks up to catch a TOPE CON HILO from Darling. Alex stays on the attack as he tosses Poe into the ring and he follows him in. He lifts the big man up in the air…BRAINBUSTER. He makes the cover and Davis wakes up from his nap to make the count…

1…
2…
Poe kicks out. Darling starts lying in some boots as Moreland is getting back to his feet and he tosses in some steel chairs. Alex picks up one of the chairs and goes to swing it at Poe, but Poe is able to duck and Alex gets the smashed right back into his face from a Van Macinator. Poe is about to pick up Darling when Moreland spins him around and a steel chair shot plasters him. Without hesitation the blood starts pouring down Poe’s scalp and Davis Hightower looks like he’s about to call for the bell, but no, he orders another Mai-Tai from the vendor. Davin and Eric get to their feet at the same time and look at one another and they charge one another. Davin gains the advantage as he scoops Eric up and places him on the top turnbuckle and follows him up. It looks like Davin is trying to power bomb Eric to the outside, but EOM fights back. Poe gets back to his feet and he starts slugging away to the back of Moreland. He gets in front of Moreland and looks like he’s going to power bomb Davin while Davin superplexes Eric. And it doesn’t look like Darling wants out of the fun as he climbs up the ropes to the side of all three guys. Poe gets Moreland out of the corner and Davin gets Eric straight up in the air and Alex gets to the top turnbuckle and he flies off…

POWERBOMB SUPERPLEX SPEAR…

OH MY GOD…

All four men are out of it. And Hightower reluctantly puts his drink down as he starts counting and he gets to 6 before anyone even makes a move to get up and it’s Alexander crawling up the ropes. Poe is getting up at the same time and they meet in the center of the ring to start trading chops. Alex looks like he’s getting the advantage, but Poe seems to be thriving with the shots and getting stronger. He picks Darling up into a military press and then drops him onto his shoulders and right into a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER. Poe makes the cover…

1…
2…
And Moreland pulls Poe off and whips him hard into the corner. Davin follows him in and crushes him with a clothesline. He starts kicking away and pounding him down to the mat with some stiff shots. Meanwhile Eric has picked Alex up and whipped him hard into the opposite corner. Eric charges in, but Darling gets a foot up and Eric staggers back. AD reaches out and pulls Eric into the corner. Davin is yelling something across the ring at Alex as both continue to kick away. Darling nods as both members of Run DEA lift their opponents onto the top turnbuckle. Poe and Eric are fighting back and kick DM and AD away from the corners, but both guys rush back in and hit totally unrealistic Samoa Joe kicks. Davin and Alex climb up the turnbuckles and they grab their opponents…

STEREO REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTERS OFF THE TOP…

Both guys make the cover…
One…
Two…
Thr…and Poe and Eric both reach out to knock their covers off. What ring awareness. Alex and Davin get up and look like they want to finish this…Alexander tosses Eric to the outside and he motions Davin to get into position for the DDDC. Darling lifts Poe up onto his shoulders, he places the hand across the throat…Davin gets a running start and just as he’s about to bounce off the ropes Eric trips him up from the outside. He drags Davin outside the ring and they start slugging away once again. Inside the ring Poe is fighting off of Darling’s shoulders. He fights down to his feet and tries to get Alex up in the air for the Pendulum…but Darling fights that off. Poe whips Alex to the ropes; Darling ducks an attempted clothesline and as he bounces off a second time…Poe damn near takes his head off with THE HIEROGLYPH. Poe quickly reaches down and picks Alex up in the air…

Sit-out CRUCIFIXION…

He makes the cover…
1…
2…
Eric has a hold of Davin’s leg…
3!!!

Hightower calls for the bell.

Your winners…and before the announcement can be finished Davin is back in the ring and he takes Poe’s head off with a VICIOUS chair shot. Poe is out. Eric is back in the ring and he swings Davin around and picks him for the SMACKDOWN, but Davin fights out of it and bails to the outside. Eric is pointing from inside the ring to the floor at Davin and he doesn’t see that the sledgehammer is been slid into the ring and into Alexander’s hand. Eric turns around to check on Poe and he gets blasted with the sledgehammer. Davin slides back in the ring and he starts kicking away at Poe and he takes a piece of light tube and starts digging it into Poe’s scalp. Alexander is on top of Eric and pounding away at him opening his cut even more. We’re getting word from the back…

*Fade backstage*

We see the rest of Run DEA; Firewoman, Phantos, Lucios, and DH Magnusson attacking Moosehead Jack, Tytan, and Seamus McNasty. Firewoman and Phantos are taking turns slamming Tytan’s head into the wall, DHM has his chain wrapped around Seamus’ neck and he’s choking the life out of him, and Lucios gets Moosehead Jack up in the air and hits a choke slam onto the cement floor. Run DEA has taken out their opposition for the night and now we see the rest of them emerge through the curtain and come down to join Alex and Davin in the ring. Fire and DH head over towards Alex and they start taking turns working over Eric. Phantos and Lucios join with Davin and they are giving Poe a beating. The only sounds in the arena at this point are the blood-curdling screams of Selena from the outside. Alex motions to Fire and DH as he gets up on the top turnbuckle and they pick up Eric and place him on Darling’s shoulders…

DARLING BOMBSHELL and Eric get folded up like an accordion.

Meanwhile Lucios has picked Poe up onto his shoulders while Phantos climbs the ropes…TEXAS DEATH SENTENCE on Poe. On the other side of the ring, Alexis has just handed something to Alexander and he stalks over to Eric once again and starts punching away with the object and we see that it’s handcuffs. Darling drags Eric over to the corner and handcuffs him once again. He’s saying something to Eric who’s struggling to the best of his ability and he’s able to kick Darling away and charge at him but Firewoman tackles him from behind. Alex gets up and Firewoman holds Eric down on the mat…CURBSTOMP by Alex. And Eric’s out…Alex quickly drags him over to the corner and gets the handcuffs locked on. Davin is motioning everyone else over towards Poe. Magnusson is first and he lifts Poe up and plants him right back down with the INVERTED BRAINBUSTER.

Moreland motions to Firewoman who doesn’t move at first. She’s busy looking down to the outside of the ring where Selena is staring up at her with wide eyes. Almost pleading with her to stop this. You can see an almost tentative look from Firewoman until she turns back to look at Davin. DM is motioning to Alex that he knew she wasn’t on board. Darling just gives Firewoman a look that basically says it’s now or never and Firewoman looks pissed as Phantos and Lucios hold Poe up and Firewoman nails Poe right between the eyes dropping him to the mat. You can see Moreland’s smirk as Firewoman makes her way into the corner…

BEST…
FIRESAULT…
EVER!!!

And she nails it. Selena’s screams get even louder at this point and Firewoman just gives Davin a stare as she asks is that what you wanted. His douche bag smile doesn’t disappear as he just turns to the outside and motions to Samantha. Samantha slides the OOWF World Championship into the ring and Davin places it on the mat as Alexander picks Poe up onto his shoulders and places the hand across the throat…DARLING DRIVER DIAMOND CUTTER on the title. Poe has to be dead, but it doesn’t look like Moreland is done yet. He’s going to pick up Poe once again when Alexis pushes past him and looks down at Selena. She motions to Samantha and Sam nods as she gets behind Selena and throws her into the ring. Selena looks up and you can tell just how scared she is to be surrounded by Run DEA. Alexis is staring down at her like she’s going to kill her. Selena crawls over and covers up Poe and the rest of Run DEA finally feels like they’ve done enough damage…everyone except Alexis who continues to stare down at Selena.

Alexis drops down to the mat right next to Selena and starts wiping some of Poe’s blood off his face. She looks at her blood-covered hand before wiping the blood off on Selena’s tear-soaked face. We can see Alexis mouth the words “bitchwhore” as she leans in close to Selena and then she licks, yes LICKS, the blood off Selena. And then the crowd explodes because Moosehead Jack, Seamus, and Tytan finally make it out into the arena. And they’re not alone as Drink & Destroy are with them. Alexander grabs his sister from behind and pulls her out of the ring as Run DEA scrambles out through the crowd. They get far enough away as Tytan, Stank, LD, and Seamus all start checking on Poe while Moose and Capslock start trying to help Eric out of the cuffs. But Eric wants no help whatsoever as he kicks Capslock away.

FFC stumbles into Tytan and Tytan isn’t pleased with that and he pushes back. Outback gets into Tytan’s face and now Seamus is pushing OBJ away. Stank gets in between all four guys and tries to play peacemaker, but now Moose is yelling something at Stank. Personnel has finally freed Eric and they’re trying to help him to the back, but he pushes all of them away and he struggles to make his way backstage by himself. LD Williams has finally helped Poe to his feet, but Poe is so far out of it that he just pushes away and he falls back to the mat. From the top of the audience, Run DEA stands there and smirks at the actions inside the ring as Drink & Destroy and Moosehead Jack’s crew push each other back and forth.

WOW…What a finish to the show tonight…
WINNERS in 22:31…. Poe and Eric O’Mac.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Dance of Death V! Live, January 25th from Hell, Michigan! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! January 28th from Springfield, Michigan, Illinois

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