MidWeek Mayhem (03/11) Live! From Springfield, TX

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, Texas

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Poe vs. Alexander Darling

OOWF Intercontinental Title Dog Collar Chain Match[/u]
Tytan vs. Firewoman

OOWF Onslaught Championship Non-Title Street Fight[/u]
DH Magnusson vs. Spin Hansen

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
The Team From Down Under vs. kz

Winner Gets An Onslaught Title Shot Next Week[/u]
Thim Reynolds vs. Matte vs. Seamus McNasty

The Dead vs. Stank
Davin Moreland & Bryce Larson vs. Concrete TG & Nayr
Chris Cole vs. Damon Wrath
IHOP vs. FF Capslock, Blitz & Chris Evans

Card subject to things being bigger in Texas, like TO's ego

[mooseheadjack]

**kz return to the locker room area after the tag team title match. A Sexy Female Journalist approaches them, but sees the look in their eyes, drops her microphone, and runs away. Williams picks up the mic and turns to the camera.**

LDW: “When I joined Drink and Destroy, I thought I'd found my place. Fear Us were going to drink, beat the crap out of people, and have fun doing it. We took the tag team titles away from Run DEA, and life was good. And then, I did the impossible. I beat all three singles champions in one night, and all of a sudden I was the World Heavyweight Champion. And what did I get for it? My partner – my brother - ran out and found someone else to team with...

The thing is Jack, if you'd bothered to ask, I would have given up the World Title. That's how important Fear Us and the Tag Team Titles were to me. But you didn't ask. Nobody did...

Stank, I meant what I said when I joined you. I really though Drink and Destroy were my family. But the moment the Pretender walked through the door and took my half of the title it was clear that I wasn't family...

If I'm going to be an outsider, I'm really going to be an outsider. Time to get back to my roots. Time for the OOWF to suffer. Time to remember the slaughter.

Outback Jack, Gatorbait, we are kinzen zansatsu – and you're dead.”

MHJ: “Trust me.”

[mooseheadjack]

There’s a celebration going on in Poe’s locker room. Kz has joined Poe, Selena, and Seamus McNasty. Poe is holding a glass of cognac, Moosehead Jack and LD Williams are holding beers, and Seamus McNasty has a flask of whiskey. Selena is standing next to Poe, wearing the World Championship Belt again and holding a Coke™

SM: I gotta say lads, you two pulled a fast one. Cheers.

They all clang their assorted drinks.

SG: Dude, that chair shot was so cool.

LDW: Thanks kid.

SG: Did that Matte guy know what was goin’ on? He always seems out of it. I bet he’s on drugs and stuff.

MHJ: He did Mouse. I’m finding young Matte to be…most tolerable.

SG: He kinda smells too, like he needs to shower more. He says he smells like teen spirit but I don’t know what that means.

MHJ: Next week, the pain continues boys. And the Tag Team Championships return to kz. As you said Poe, it’s about damn time.

Poe: As well as plan number two…

Poe points to the belt.

Poe: I have now consolidated my championship and now it is time to deal with my original purpose of coming here to the OOWF…to destroy that miserable Boy.

SM: So that’s why he’s got himself a title shot.

Poe: Yes, I ask and I receive.

LDW: Nice bein’ champ ain’t it?

Poe: Truer words have never been spoken Mr. Williams. Now, if you’ll excuse me gentlemen, I need to rest. Davin Moreland may be a bit out of sorts but he still is a tough competitor and I need to rest a bit.

SM: Mind if I try some of that hookah?

Poe: Help yourself.

SG: You didn’t take any painkillers did you? Mixing those will mess with your head dude.

SM: I think I can handle it lass.

Moosehead jack smiles evily as he surveys the room.

MHJ: It’s only just begun…

[mooseheadjack]

Chris Evans is seen backstage with a look on his face that could only be described as pure ecstasy. A SFJ comes to interview him.

SFJ: Lionheart! You just had what was undoubtedly the match of the night and of your career. How are you feeling?

E: Well sweetie, what can I say? I mean, I knew me and Bryce would tear the house down, but a 60-minute match? What can I say Bryce? We just showed everyone in this arena tonight why we are the future of this business. And let me just say this; you just name the time, the place, and the stipulations, and it would be my greatest honor to face you again someday down the road. I want it, I know you want it, and I’m damn sure the fans would love it as well.

SFJ: Any other thoughts?

E: Now that you mention it, yeah. Yeah I do. Let’s just cut the celebration short for right now. Right now, its time for something a little more personal.

Evans’ face shifts from ecstatic to just plain annoyed.

Well…well…well. Tytan. Once again, showing your true colors by having someone help you in your battles. You know, you would think that with all that muscle, you’d at least have a decent pair of balls to go with it. Tonight, you once again proved what I’ve known for weeks, which is the fact that without outside interference, you’re nothing but talk. You’re nothing but a gutless coward who stands behind his handlers, and if there’s one thing in this whole world that I can’t stand, it’s a fucking coward.

So you just keep playing your little mind games with Fire, but just remember this: even though Run DEA is in shambles and dealing with its own problems to help her out, Fire’s not alone in this fight. And sometime, in the very near future, the days of Ultimo Inc will be numbered. Maybe not tonight, and pretty much definitely not tomorrow, but when you least expect it, you’ll get your comeuppance.

Evans’ voice now takes a more serious, almost dark-like voice.

After all, you’re not the only one around here with a mean streak. You don’t believe me? Just look what I did to The Dead last week. Now, as far as he’s concerned, I’ve got nothing personal against him. What I did to him was a result of me having a bad day and I apologize for that. But for you, there is no mercy and there are no excuses. I just flat out hate you for what you’ve done. Trying to take out those close to Fire; trying to end careers without any remorse; and probably the thing that makes my stomach turn the most, and that’s turning on your own partner because you deemed him to be weak and trying to take him out when he’s defenseless. You’re a disgrace to humanity, nothing but human garbage, and that goes for the company you keep as well.

So like I said, just keep it up, but also keep this in mind. At first glance, I may seem like a nice laidback kinda guy, and I am, don’t get me wrong. But on the other hand, I can also be your worst nightmare. You see, even though I don’t show it, I have the potential to be far more sadistic and merciless than you can possibly imagine. And believe me; you don’t wanna push me to that level. What I did last week was just a mere taste of what I can do when pushed too far. And that’s all I’ve got to say about you. I'll just leave it at that, for now.

Evans looks at the SFJ and his mood goes back to normal.

So babe, now that I've gotten that ugly business outta the way, its time to celebrate. The night is young, and I’m on top of the world right now. So what do you say, you wanna take a night out on the town?

SFJ: You know, normally I would, but there’s like nothing around here to do in this backwater town.

E: Well, in that case. You wanna just go back to my hotel room and do our own kind of celebrating?

SFJ: Sure, why the hell not? Let’s go!

*fade to black*

[mooseheadjack]

*Stank is in the Destroyitarium restroom checking out his battle wounds in the mirror. He reaches into his mouth and retrieves a small, bloody, scrap of metal. He spits more blood into the sink.*

Stank - Christ... How does this stuff keep ending up in there?

*Stank tosses the piece of scrap metal into a nearby trash bin and reinspects the scars on his forehead. He twists his head from side to side, stretching out his neck muscles. He pulls down the neckline of his shirt and tenderly probes the stitches sown into the upper part of his chest making sure they held through his earlier battle. He then faces himself in the mirror once more taking note of the large band-aid on the top of his head, blood soaking through the padded part. He looks down at his bandaged left hand, feeling the deep gash shift ever so lightly beneath the white cloth, loosening the blood clotted there and releasing a flow of blood. The scabs on his knuckles have opened becoming fresh wounds from abuse. He spits a little less blood than before into the sink, then rinses it out and heads out into the bar area. Spin Hansen greets him.*

Spin - So what do we do now?

Stank - We? Nothing. I am going out. Be back in a bit.

OBJ - We're going with you.

GB - Yeah, mate.

FFC -

Stank - No. Stay here. I will be right back.

*Stank gives the rest of Drink & Destroy a look that tell them not to fuck with him on this, as he puts on his jacket. They reluctantly comply as Stank heads out the door and down the Hallway of Random Encounters. Given his mood, it's a good thing Stank runs into no one before rounding a corner and entering Poe's locker room. The occupants are in full celebratory bliss... before they notice the leader of Drink & Destroy standing in the doorway. Selena walks out from the back room with the OOWF World Title awkwardly strapped around her chest. Her eyes grow wide at the sight of Stank. Moose remains where he is seated. Seamus, leaning against a nearby wall, eyes Stank warily. LD Williams rises from his seat. Stank slowly walks over to LD with fire and hatred in his eyes. Williams, for his part, looks a tiny bit concerned. He walks over and meets Stank halfway.*

LDW - Lucas look... this wasn't abou-

*Stank SLAPS~! LD Williams so HARD it knocks the smaller man on his ass! Seamus makes a move. Stank makes a faster one as he pulls a fire axe out from under his jacket and points it at Seamus.*

Stank - Mind your business big man. This has got little to do with you.

*Seamus throws his hands up in the air and backs away. Moose remains seated. Stank looks down at LD Williams, a huge red welt forming on the side of William's face. LD spits blood and doesn't bother meeting Stank's gaze.*

LDW - You feel better?

Stank - When Davin betrayed me I wasn't surprised. When the Darlings betrayed me I kind of expected it. When DH Magnusson betrayed me I was baffled... but that was light years behind my shock at YOUR betrayal.

LDW - I didn't betray you.

Stank - YOU came to ME and I TOOK YOU IN! Outback Jack is my brother! He was YOUR brother! And YOU TURNED on HIM! You turn on ONE of us YOU turn on ALL of US!

LDW - I'm sorry you feel that way, Lucas.

Stank - You fucking sat in front of me and LIED to my FACE! You said WE were your family! god damn it LD you're no better than a fucking DARLING!

*At that proclamation LD Williams jumps to his feet! He looks like he wants to charge at Stank, but remains where he stands with clenched fists. Poe wearily peeks out from the back room, having been roused by the commotion.*

LDW - I think it's time you leave.

*Stank glares over at Moose.*

LDW - No! Don't you look at him! What I did I did for ME!

Stank - Sure LD... I'm sure Moose had no say in the matter. This is what you want Moose, huh? You want to start a war with Drink and Destroy? You want to fuck with me?

*Moose remains silent.*

Stank - Moose... I want to make this crystal clear. I ain't Chris Alt. I ain't Crete. What I am is a hell of a lot more than you think you can handle. You think the road to your rebirth goes through me? You don't want the kind of trouble I will bring to you... because if there is one thing in this world that you SHOULD be afraid of... it's my wrath. This shit doesn't have to be personal, but if you keep pushing me... I WILL end you. Believe that.

*Stank backs his way toward the door. He turns, then buries the fire axe in the wall next to the door on his way out. He makes it back through the Hall of Random Encounters and back to the Destroyitarium.*

Spin - Um... Stank. FFC... he uh...

Stank - What?

Spin - He's gone.

Stank - What do you mean... he's gone?

Spin - I don't know, man. He packed his gear and left. He told me to give you this note.

*Spin hands Stank a small sealed envelope.*

Stank - What the fuck is this?

*Stank pulls out his cell and dials FF Capslock's number... there is no answer.*

Stank - Damn it, Lock your timing couldn't be worse.

<Fade>

[mooseheadjack]

Fade in to see Bryce Larson as he checks out this week's line-up when Davin Moreland comes up from behind him. A Fine Ass Female Journalist comes up for a quick interview.

FAFJ: Bryce, many people are calling tonight's match with Chris Evans an instand classic.

BL: You know, you prepare for each opponent differently. Chris is so talented, I know he'd be prepared and ready for me.

FAFJ: You have to be dssatisfied in the time limit draw.

BL: It shows Chris and I are on the same level. And we put on a hell of a match for the fans. I look forward to doing it again at some point.

FAFJ finishes taping and leaves the scene. Bryce heads over and finally sees this week's line-up posted.

BL: [Talking to himself, doesn't know anyone is behind him.] ... Me and Davin vs. Gryfon and Nayr? Really? Hmm. Okay.

DM: Bryce Larson seems a little perplexed by this week's Midweek Mayhem card.

BL: Huh? Oh, what's up Davis. Didn't realize you were back there. Sorry things didn't work out last night.

DM: Davin Moreland is not worried. Davin Moreland will Davin Moreland sees Bryce Larson saw the line-up for Midweek Mayhem. Partners again.

BL: Yeah. Maybe we can work our way up a little, and then cash in my title shot.

DM: Does Bryce Larson question the choice of opponents for Bryce Larson & Davin Moreland.

BL: I think it's an obvious pair. You don't like Gryfon, and Nayr and I already have a storied history.

DM: The assigned match goes much deeper than what you said. Davin Moreland requested this match from General Manager The Rick, specifically.

BL: Oh, really? Why did you pick that match.

DM: Because Run DEA recruits need to prove themselves. "Lionheart" Chris Evans did it, and now Bryce Larson can, too.

BL: So you put me in there against them as a test?

DM: Davin Moreland wants to see what Bryce Larson is made of, if Bryce Larson is fully Run DEA material--inside the ring and out.

BL: Didn't beating Phantos, Alexander, Alexis and going the limit with 'Cubheart' prove anything?

DM: Each one of the matches presented by Bryce Larson are indeed impressive. But Davin Moreland needs to know if Bryce Larson will do what it takes to win...win at all costs.

BL: Trust me David. Next week, you'll see what I'm made of. You'll see just how smart you are for offering yourself up as a partner.

DM: Bryce Larson sounds like a man en route to capturing tag team gold with Bryce Larson's partner Davin Moreland.

BL: That's right Davin...that's right.

Fade out.

[mooseheadjack]

*Davin Moreland is WAITING~! for Bryce Larson to disappear down the hallway, and presumably the Ninja cams went with him. Nuh-Uh, Davin! He exhales as if all the air has been let out of a balloon rapidly, and he just leans facing the wall for a moment. He looks at the lineup one more time. And, in old school Davin fashion, he talks to himself.*

DM: Something about this...just doesn't sit right. I know THEY would talk me out of it. Ah well...what's the worst that can happen, right?

*Davin pushes himself off the wall and heads down the Hallway of Random Encounters. He rounds the corner and SMACKS~! into Stank, who really looks like he couldn't be in a worse mood. And yet........instinctively, both men raise up to fight, and there is an EPIC hatred staredown. Suddenly, however, Davin backs down and starts to walk away*

DM: *mumbles* Sorry, Lucas.

S: *stares incredulously for a second* Wait...what?

DM: *whips around* I said I'm fucking SORRY Lucas, for not fucking paying attention and running into you. And now? I'm leaving. *he turns to walk away*

S: Wait, what happened to "Stank is a No-Seller" "Stank is Old" "Stank is a Has Been" "Stank is a Moron"? Shouldn't it take you about 5 seconds to kick my ass? Whaddya say you try it?

DM: Not interested. Maybe some other time.

S: What the fuck is up with you? This some new tactic to turn on everyone again?

DM: No. Just have other things on my mind right now, Lucas. Oh, and sorry about LD. Looks like he's gonna be Moose's Butt-Boy forever.

S: Don't you fucking start about...

DM: Fine. Forget I said anything. *starts walking away again*

S: *when Davin gets out of earshot*. That dude...*shakes head* Serious fucking problems...

*He walks away, and we hard cut to Davin, watching tape on the Sony Multimedia Center. To the shock of no one, it's Phantos and Lucios vs different Heroes Guild members. Samantha Darling comes in and scoots next to him.*

SD: Hey.

DM: Hey.

SD: Still on this thing?

DM: *glares at her* No, I got totally over my 2 closest friends in the company, who have been with me every step of the way for the last two years, leaving, in about 4 days or so.

SD: It's time for you to get over it. You're useless to everyone right now.

DM: Gee thanks. Why don't you go write some emoetry with your brother or something?

SD: Why don't you? You're the one acting like you lost your best friend.

DM: Uh...I DID, jackass. Both of them. I love how I'm supposed to gloss over this and pretend they don't fucking matter. I'm just supposed to go on and be "Davin Moreland, OOWF Resident Douchebag". Davin Moreland this, Davin Moreland that. You know *I* talked them into joining DEA? Doing the whole deal at Hell on Earth? Swore that it would be great for all of us.

SD: And it was.

DM: And NOW fucking what? They're out on the indy circuit, and I'm sitting here wondering I did this deal in the first place all by myself. I haven't exactly succeeded here on my own.

SD: You're not on your own.

DM: I'm not? Fuck, no one talks to anyone else in here anymore, and when we do it's a fucking fight. We look like fools every week and we have no allies. We're directionless. Especially now without a captain.

SD: But Firewoman said...

DM: Firewoman is full of shit. We made Phantos the captain because Lucios would just boss Phantos around; and I'm a raving fucking lunatic. I haven't led shit. I've NEVER led shit. Everything I've done with DEA was to BENEFIT me, but it was never ABOUT me. That's what made it so great. Now? No one knows what they're doing anymore.

SD: So fix it.

DM: ME? I can't fix anything.

SD: Listen, without a captain, you're one of the two Managing Partners. You're in a leadership role whether you like it or not.

DM: Lexie can do it.

SD: Not alone, she can't.

DM: Well, whatever. Let's just say I'm not in the greatest place right now. Right now, I'm going to watch the Greatest Tag Team in the History of Recorded Time kick some ass.

SD: You do that. Meanwhile, the rest of us are going to live in the present time. You sit here and watch your emoetry and wallow in your self-pity and feelings and shit, and let me know when you're ready to join us.

DM: Go fuck yourself, Samantha.

SD: Probably will.

*she leaves, and Davin goes back to watching tape*

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

**After Stank storms out of the locker room, Selina walks out and returns with a microphone and a ninja cameraman.**


S: “Doesn't look like anybody else wants to come in here and ask, so, L.D., have anything to say to Stank?”

LD: “Stank, you really are clueless aren’t you. My betrayal? Mine? What about the way Jack betrayed me when he brought in Gator? What about the way Drink & Destroy betrayed me when I won the world title – the one you couldn’t win? All of a sudden the four of you are D&D and I’m on the outside. Did you really expect me to let that go?

This issue should be between me and the Aussies. If that’s not good enough for you Stank, if you feel the need to play Dad, then go ahead. Protect your little flock. The more the merrier.

You can blame Moose for this if you want to. You can blame me. But take a look in the mirror, Stank. Your legendary leadership isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I knew if I kept this in the family you and your boys would turf me anyway. This was my choice Lucas, but you forced me into it.

Enjoy your delusions Stank. Keep telling yourself it’s not your fault. If you want to work out that aggression, you know where to find me. But the next time you bring an axe, you better come prepared to use it.”

[mooseheadjack]

[The Dead is sporting a few bandages as he enters the Destroyitarium. A few of the members of Drink and Destroy keep an eye on him as he sits down at the bar next to Stank.]

Dead: Whiskey. Neat.

[The bartender pours the drink and hands it to The Dead. The Dead takes a slow sip and places the glass back on the bar.]

Dead: Rough night, huh?

[Stank downs his beer before answering.]

Stank: Look, if you're here to...

Dead: Not here for anything but a drink, big man.

[Stank orders another beer and the two men enjoy their drinks in relative silence. The Dead finishes his whiskey and gets up to leave.]

Dead: Just wanted to tell you that I'm bringing it this week, and I expect you to do the same. See you around...

[The Dead turns away from the bar, nods at the rest of Drink and Destroy, and leaves.]

[mooseheadjack]

*Fade in to the palatial IHOP locker room. The Amnesiac, SYB, and Skurge are fuming over the no decision at last night’s OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Springfield, Louisiana. The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth, meanwhile, is on the phone with GMtheRick…

DM: …really necessary?
GMtR: I’m afraid they were, Ms. Mantooth. Things got out of hand. The brawl spilled into the crowd. I had an obligation to bring in security before any fans got hurt.
DM: Really? You couldn’t have just restarted the match as a Street Fight or a Louisiana Free-For-All or a Springfield Slugfest or something?
GMtR: Well, I suppose I could have, but I didn’t think to.
DM: Well that’s just great. The Heroes Guild starts a brawl that should have gotten them disqualified, but instead leads to a no decision, and now you’re rewarding them by not making them defend the Chimpionships at OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Springfield, Texas.
GMtR: You know I refuse to call the Campeonas de Trios titles that.
DM: Call them what?
GMtR: Chimpionships.
DM: Gotcha!
GMtR: You’ve been spending too much time with SYB.
DM: Don’t I know it. So is there any chance of you altering the card and giving IHOP the title shot they’ve earned this week?
GMtR: No. There’s no chance.
DM: Well fine then. I see Concrete TG and Nayr are in a tag match this week. Now, I’m not a fortuneteller or anything, but I’ve got a feeling that match might not end cleanly.
GMtR: Is that a threat?
DM: Of course not. I’m just saying that I can’t always keep track of where the members of IHOP – active and not – are at all times, and I can’t make any guarantees that they won’t interfere.
GMtR: Well, you might want to keep a closer eye than usual on your boys, Ms. Mantooth, or there could be consequences.
DM: I’ll certainly do what I can.
GMtR: See that you do.

*FADE*

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman is sitting in the RunDEA Suites, looking over the run sheet.

FW: Dog collar match? What the hell?

LD: Look at it this way, that certainly gives you the advantage. You've got tons of experience with collars and leashes.

FW: True...true......

LD: Wait a minute. Why are you still here?

FW: Huh?

LD: You're supposed to be heading to Ohio.

FW: Oh, that. Yeah, I'm not going.

LD: What do you mean?

FW: It's a common phrase, Lexie. No big words or anything.

LD: Very funny. Look, we have contracts with Muscle Milk, GNC...they are expecting OOWF's very own Firewoman to appear, pose for pictures, sign autographs.

FW: Lexie, there is too much going on around here for me to leave. Davin is a mess....Ultimo Inc has put a target on everyone's back...I'm not going. I've already called our rep from the companies, and let Rick know...

At that moment, there's a knock on the door. Lexie and Firewoman look at each other, because no one ever comes to the RunDEA Suites, and if they do, they generally don't knock. Lucky breaks the tension and opens the door to GM the Rick.

GMtR: So you are here. That would explain the call I got from Columbus.

FW: Call?

GMtR: Something about you canceling your appearances this weekend? Well, newsflash. I'm cancelling your cancellation, and putting you on a plane to Columbus tonight.

FW: Rick, I am not--

LD: Rick, endorsement contracts and the like are not under your--

GMtR: The hell they aren't. You think they just enhance your bank accounts? Nosiree, those are damn fine publicity for OOWF, especially in that hard to reach female demographic.

LD: As Firewoman's representative, I highly object--

GMtR: I don't care what you do. It's already handled. Pack your stuff, Fire--

FW: I never unpack.

GMtR: Whatever. I'm suspending your travel restrictions for the time being. But you are to be back and checked in by Monday 1pm.

FW: Fine....whatever.

Rick leaves and Firewoman goes to get her stuff and is back quickly

LD: Wow, you weren't kidding. Why do you never unpack.

FW: In case I need to leave in a hurry. Remember?

LD:......oh.....yeah....anyway, we'll take the DEA jet.

FW: Okay, that's....wait, we?

LD: Yes, I'm going with you.

FW: Why?

LD: Why? Remember last time? You and Concrete? We don't need a repeat performance of that.

FW: Shouldn't you check with Davin?

LD: Well, I tried to...but he was just....well, you know how he's been lately....

FW: Right...Okay, let's go......

LD: Well, no, I actually DO have to pack.

FW: Fine...I'll meet you at the airport. Hey, Lucky? Do me a favor.

L: Sure, boss.

FW: (she waits for Alexis to be out of earshot) Let Alexander know...my sources are fairly sure the driver of the car was Biggs. If he's interested....

L: Sources?

FW: He'll know what it means.

[mooseheadjack]

(Spin Hansen sits down in the Destroyitarium next to an obviously agitated Stank.)

SH: So it seems like one man comes back to Drink and Destroy and two leave.

S: I'm not in the mood for it, Spin.

SH: LD's giving the same kind of bitch excuses that Magnusson was giving. I wasn't respected, they made me feel like such an outsider, NOBODY LOVES ME. You know what? FUCK THEM. Drink and Destroy is not a daycare. We aren't here to make each member feel like precious hand-painted porcelain figurines, to be fawned over and adored for their one-of-a-kind beauty. We're a group of guys that like drinking together and can come and go as we please without having to answer to anyone. I knew that after hitting bottom and all of the shit that went down after that that I'd be welcomed back and I don't expect a goddamn one of you guys to sit and coo over me like I'm some fucking newborn.

Outback Jack (taking a stool next to Spin and Stank): Those are pretty strong words coming from someone who hasn't ever beaten L.D. one-on-one. Might want to watch your tongue, mate.

SH: I don't give a shit. He can come in here right now and beat the holy living FUCK out of me and I still won't change my mind. (He finishes his beer and slams his mug on the bar.) People come, people go, and it's their choice. Doesn't mean that I have to like the choice, but it's their choice... but they hurt my friends, they're on my shitlist. That's MY choice. And if they don't like it, fuck 'em.

(He grabs another beer as the camera fades...)

[mooseheadjack]

And now a word from your Intercontinental Champion and Ultimo Inc...

(Camera comes up on The title draped over Tytan's shoulder. The camera pans back to reveal Tytan and the rest of Ultimo Inc who are all carrying dog chains.)

Tytan: Well..well..well...Fire you are quiet the little hot head aren't you? Temper my dear it is your downfall. Tonight I just capitalized on it. How you feeling Steele?

Steele: (Icing his jaw)Let's just say that I took one for the team.

Tytan: Now it's time to deal with some matters at hand. First off, Evans are you really that dumb? Or is everyone that comes through Lance's school learn to be that thick. Yeah that means you too Fire. Seamus, heck if you want to open your mouth maybe I'll just have to bitch slap the booze out of your mouth.

Biggs: Tytan you want to stay focused here. Remember the Dog Collar match?

Tytan: How can I forget. Firewoman gets to wear something she is use to wearing and I get to play the Dog catcher.

Lola: Not bad...what about treat that Bitch the way she deserves to be treated.

(Everyone looks at Lola.)

Lola: What? First off I hate her. Second, a bitch is a female dog. I just call them how I see them.

(Everyone accepts that one.)

Lola: Come on I do the interviews I don't cut the promos.

Tytan: All right back to me. Fire...you caused yourself that match. You are the reason why you lost.

(Grabs a dog chain.)

Now come Mayhem when I take this chain and wrap it around your little neck and pull you will learn your fate from the Ultimo Ending.

But you are right one one thing. You will have to kill me to get this title back.

(FADE)

[mooseheadjack]

(Spin Hansen comes out to the ring to "More Human Than Human"-- dressed in his familiar black cargo pants and Doc Marten boots and wearing a Drink & Destroy T-Shirt. He's got his trusty crowbar in his hands.)

SH: SPRINGFIELD! WHO'S READY TO SEE SOME CARNAGE???

(The crowd cheers)

Now, Magnusson, I've been doing some research and found something interesting... Article 85 of the UCMJ. That article clearly spells out what, exactly, you did to OUR ARMY in times of war... you deserted them. Now, I believe that we were very clearly in a time of war against Run DEA. Do you want to know the punishment for desertion in time of war-- which happens to be the same punishment as that for treason during time of war?

Death.

But you know what, Mags? I think that death is too good for you. You deserve to spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair, broken and crippled. Blind in one eye. Unable to lift the slightest weight, unable to punch a steel-belted radial without your damn HAND breaking. Ugly and broken enough that the shelter dogs that you used to love so much will attack you because of your sickly, weak SMELL. Your FORMER army demands blood, Magnusson...

(raises his crowbar)

And I'm here to draw it from you.

(More crowd cheers as Spin heads to the back.)

[mooseheadjack]

Poe is sitting on a couch in a locker room that obviously isn’t his. He has the World Championship belt resting on his lap. Selena’s skipping around the room. The door to the locker room opens as Tytan, Steele, & Biggs enter the room and all stop in their tracks when they see Poe. Poe stands as they enter.

Ty: Been a long time…partner.

Poe: Yes it has. *to Steele and Buggs* Gentlemen, would you give us a few moments alone please?

St: I don’t think that’s such a good idea.

Selena scurries up beside Poe.

SG: Aww…afraid Big Baby can’t take care of himself?

Biggs takes a step towards Selena, resulting in Selena hiding behind Poe.

SG: Big scary man threatening a little girl. Your momma must be so proud.

Ty: Guys, it’s fine. Give us a few.

Steele and Biggs warily leave the locker room. As they do, Selena once again begins to look around the locker room.

SG: Man, there are more pill cases here than CVS™

Ty: Selena…I’ve truly missed you…like a brick to the head.

SG: Yeah, well, the brick’s smarter than you I’m sure.

Poe: Selena…

Selena continues her look around in silence. The former Gods & Monsters eye each other in the center of the room. Tytan drapes the Intercontinental Championship belt over his shoulder as Poe has done.

Ty: We’ve come a long way haven’t we partner?

Poe: Yes. I see you’re enjoying your first championship.

Ty: It’s nice to be rewarded for hard work and diligence.

Selena eyes Tytan for a second, mildly impressed he used a big word she probably doesn’t know herself.

Poe: This isn’t my first and let me give you a little advice…partner.

Poe gets face to face with Tytan.

Poe: Do NOT get a swelled head. Firewoman has more experience than you and I dare say she’s meaner than you. When you think you’ve got her right where you want her…she’s got you.

Ty: Relax; I’ve completely got her rattled. I’m in her head bro. Wednesday, I put her to sleep.

Poe smirks.

Poe: Fluff those feathers peacock. You may just convince yourself of that. I wish you the best of luck…partner.

Lola enters the room.

L: Hey Tyt…oh man, uh, hi Poe.

Selena mockingly sniffs the air.

SG: Ah, that smell of skank again. It’s been a while.

Poe nods at Lola, then looks to Selena.

Poe: Goddess…it’s time to go.

Poe offers his arm to Selena and she takes it. Together they leave the locker room. Selena looks back one last time.

SG: It’s been a pleasure…nevermore.

[mooseheadjack]

(Now that that little meeting is over. The rest of Ultimo Inc reenter the locker room.)

Steele: Pack your bags Tytan we are going on a little trip.

Tytan: Really where are we heading?

Steele: Columbus, Ohio. Ultimo Inc has a booth at this big Fitness Expo.

Tytan: You mean the Arnold Fitness Expo.

Steele: You got it. When you won that title you added some responsibilities with it. People want to see you!

Tytan: Really?

Steele: That and I already know Firewoman is going to be there. TheRick gave me the heads up.

Tytan: So what are we waiting for? Let's go!

(They leave.)

FADE

[mooseheadjack]

*Outback Jack in an extreme closeup*

OBJ: Let me get this straight. LD Williams wanted me to ask him to give up the OOWF World Championship? The belt he wanted so badly? To keep the tag team belts?An offer he forgot to make when he was celebrating his big win? Right?

*OBJ's face changes to the Jack of the Hinterlands face* Moosehead Jack, this is on you. Empty Team doesn't forget.

[mooseheadjack]

*GatorBait in an extreme closeup*

Gator: So LD, you were in on this all along, huh? I wouldn't be surprised if you were the one to tell Moose where we were all eating last week. You are the reason Steve Irbot is now dead.

*Gator's face changes to the Feed of Gator face*

LD Williams, this is on you. Empty Team doesn't forget.

[mooseheadjack]

<Moose and LD are watching The Team From Down Unders promos in the back>

LD: Hey Moose, look at that, they don't forget

MHJ: And they're putting on their mean faces

LD: I guess this is the part where we are supposed to beg them for mercy

MHJ: Jack, Gator, do you really think we are stupid? You really think we didn't know exactly what would come from this attack? You think Empty Team is a surprise to us? This is what we wanted. Beating the Team From Down Under? Been there, done that. No one cares. Beating Empty Team? Crippling Empty Team? Making Empty Team beg for mercy? THAT is how you get a reputation as THE most feared team in wrestling.

LDW: It's like this, and I will say this as simple as I can so even you two can understand. We are kz, and you two, are dead.

MHJ: Trust me

<Moose and LD laugh as we fade to black>

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan, Firewoman, and Crete and Seamus McNasty all arrive at the Columbus Convention Center. You can see the tension in the air, that is all except for Seamus. He is showing signs of already being just a wee bit drunk.)

Firewoman: Tytan.

Tytan: Fire.

Crete: Citizen Fire and Citizen Tytan we are here for the fans today let us put your blood feud aside for one day.

(The two glare at each other. Seamus who is just happy to be anywhere as long as there is some booze jumps in.)

Seamus: All right now that the formalities are done. Can we all go in side (checking out some of the fitness competitors that walk by.) The scenery is nice out here so that means its only better in there. (Looks over to Tytan) You keeping that belt all nice and shiny for me?

Tytan: (Growls) Let's get inside.

Crete: Now remember we are under strict orders from TheRick that there will not be a repeat performance of last year.

Fire: (To Crete) We will just see if you can keep to it. Now come on we were all suppose to be at the MHP booth 15 minutes ago.

(They head inside and get their orders for how things are going to run and it is obvious that the guy is not an OOWF fan.)

To be continued....

[mooseheadjack]

Seamus, Fire, Crete and Tytan make their way through the elbow and asshole crowd at the Arnold Fitness Expo headed to the MHP booth for their appearance when Seamus bumps into Lou Ferrigno
Lou: “ Seamus!”
Seamus: “Lou”
Lou: “How are you doing my friend?”
Seamus: “Good Lou, you look good ol’ man, what are you doing?”
Lou: “Photos, autographs… you know.”
Seamus: “Yea, we’re headed to our own session.”
Lou:” Picture?”
Seamus: “Sure”
Lou: “20 bucks?”
Seamus: “OK”
One of Lou’s assistants steps up and takes a photo of Seamus and Lou standing side by side
Lou: “Great that will be $20…”
Seamus: “Wait, I thought you were paying me to get a photo?”
Lou: “No you pay me…”
Seamus: “Why would I do that?”
Lou: “Don’t try to cheat me asshole”
Seamus: “Fuck you, you shrunken ballsack”
At this Lou and Seamus start to fight in the middle of the aisle, Crete and Tytan grab Seamus and Fire folds her arms looking slightly bored and amused at the same time, Bobby Lashley rushes over from the Champion Nutrition booth and Flex Wheeler jumps over from the EFX booth to grab Lou…there is much shouting as both men are separated, the OOWF gang continue to make their way to the MHP booth.
Seamus “What that fuck was that?…I’d break him in half, freakin’ Hulk my ass…I’ve taken dumps bigger than him.”

[mooseheadjack]

(The four OOWF superstars report to the Maximum Human Performance booth for their autograph session. The booth gives them free dog tags with their ring names to wear as they sign.)

Seamus: (still grumbling something about Lou)

Tytan: Don't know why you're grumbling about that has-been.

CTG: Citizens, we should be concentrating on generating more for our fanbase at this convention!

Firewoman: (Sneering at her "FIREWOMEN" dog tag) This isn't a "convention", it's an expo.

CTG: Citizen Fire, the simple difference between this convention and the ones I typically attend are the overall physical condition of the attendees. (Gestures to a musclebound individual dressed in a faux animal skin, faux animal skull helmet and holding a sword) Someone of his type would not stand out where I typically attend.

FW: Geek.

CTG: (doesn't hear her as he signs a promo pic)

FW: (waiting til the fan moves down to Tytan) Are you going to keep your hands off me this year?

CTG: Citizen Fire, that incident that you erroneously recognize as "sexual assault" (yes, with quotes) is a misunderstanding in the past.

Tytan: Don't listen to her, she's just trying to start shit

(Alexis Darling walks up to the group, wearing her MHP babydoll tee)

LD: She would have been better off with her own table

Seamus: (grumbling) cheap bastards

Tytan: What she needs is to "Man up"

CTG: (trying to focus on fans)

FW: This from a "Man" who got some interesting "Swag", complete with free needles

Tytan: hey, they GAVE it to me....

CTG: Citizens, some decorum before the masses!

FW: and that "Gift" is compensating for.....?

CTG: (wishes he was signing at the Team Concret booth)

Tytan: won't need it against you.....

CTG: Citizen Tytan, please.....

LD: Shut up, Hero, let the lady fight her own battles

CTG: This is not a battlefield, this is an autograph signing

Tytan: got plenty of rings here for that

FW: I don't need a ring to beat you

Seamus: (Belches loudly)

CTG: (shakes his head again)

Tytan: ......bitch.

LD: (walks over and swats Tytan) shut up, roiddog

Tytan: (Snaps to his feet) you want some too?

FW: (snaps to her feet) Leave my Publicist alone!

CTG: Decorum, Citizens, please...

Tytan/FW/LD: FUCK YOU HERO

CTG: I will defend myself (starts to stand)

FW: Have at it (shoves CTG at Tytan)

CTG: (gets his footing)

Tytan: (Falls into Seamus)

Seamus: That's it (Gets up)

CTG: (turns back to Fire) That was unnecessary

FW: (slaps Crete) and THAT's before you think of something sexist

(The five of them erupt in a brawl that brings cheers and tons of pictures from the assembled crowd)

[mooseheadjack]

(It's early morning before day two of the Expo opens up. Semaus McNasty is walking around checking out the scene. He smiles as he sees the MLS Championship Cup sitting on a nearby table.)

Seamus: Hmm...(deep in thought) I wonder if I can borrow that for a while.

(He grabs it and heads off to the back where he has a supply of beer hidden. He looks over and sees a forklift sitting.)

Seamus: Now we are talking....

(He finishes poring the beer into the cup hops on the Forklift and drives off.)

Seamus: Now we are traveling in style...

(FADE)

[mooseheadjack]

**Matte's walking through some hallways, just going wherever he ends up. He runs into a random journalist.**

Matte: Whoops.

J: You ran into me.

Matte: Sorry.

J: Well I was just trying to find you anyway. You weren't in your hallway.

Matte: Yea, I got bored.

J: Old news.

Matte: Whatever.

J: ...

Matte: ...

J: What's that smell?

Matte: You mean the teen spirit? Yea, it kinda follows me around. You'll get used to it.

J: Ok, anyway. What's your strategy going into your match with Thim and Seamus?

Matte: Strategy?

J: Like, how are you gonna work the match?

Matte: Well, I'll prolly be the one getting worked. But uh, I don't know. I do the same shit in every match, really. I'll just throw fists, break shit, and fuck people up.

J: And if you win, you get a shot at the Onslaught title.

Matte: Oh, yea. I forgot I lost that.

J: You haven't noticed that you haven't been carrying it around?

Matte: No, I mean, I thought that I just actually lost it. Like I left it behind somewhere. But yea, I want another shot at the belt. It was kinda cool being the Onslaught Champion for those few minutes.

J: One last thing, are you using?

Matte: Yea, that's where I was going before I ran into you, the bathroom. I gotta shit.

**Matte leaves, heading for a bathroom.**

J: I meant drugs...

[mooseheadjack]

Voiceover: The location is the LC Pavilion. It is PARTY WITH THE PROS, the end of the second night of the Arnold Fitness Expo. As it is figured there is a lot of drinking and debauchery going on as a lot of the pros are finally letting loose. As the camera pans in we see Tytan looking like he is trying to have some fun walking by. Just then he bumps into of all people Firewoman.

Tytan: Damn do you have to follow me where ever I go?

Firewoman: This is party with the pros, so why are you here? The only thing you are a pro at is being chemically enhanced.

Tytan: Can’t prove a thing.

Firewoman: What now I suppose you are going to tell me that you were young and stupid….and it was a different time.

Tytan: I still beat your ass.

(Steps in towards Firewoman.)

Firewoman: I’ll show you how to truly beat someone’s ass at Mayhem this week.

(She steps toward Tytan.)

Tytan: Not if I snap your neck with that chain.

(Just then one Mr. Randy Orton who also happen to be there from the other Fed steps in trying to be the peace maker.)

Randy: Hey…Hey settle down. We are supposed to be having fun here, Firewoman why don’t you come back to my table and let’s have a drink together and forget about this ‘Roid Freak.

Firewoman: Randall, why don’t you remind me what was it that you were buying from that one company?

(Tytan laughs, as Randy grabs Firewoman buy the wrist.)

Randy: I only did that for a little while. Don’t have any problems now.

(Tytan looks down and sees where Randy has grabbed Fire. He then looks at Fire and for that one moment it seems like the two of them are actually on the same page.)

Tytan: You know that website Online Onslaught was always right about you.

Randy: What was that?

Tytan: You are a doosh!

(Just then Firewoman steps back and kicks Randy in the groin causing him to bend over. Tytan seeing the opportunity and being the opportunist that he is drops a big elbow to the back sending him to the ground and at that point Firewoman and Tytan are actually working together kicking the snot out of RKO.)

Firewoman: This doesn’t mean we are sending each other Christmas Cards anytime soon.

Tytan: I wouldn’t count on it.

(Just then Seamus McNasty seeing an opportunity for a beat down decides to jump in and throws a right hook hitting one of the security that is coming to make the save.)

Seamus: You better at least save a shot for me!

(He looks over and sees Tytan holding Randall up as Firewoman Superkicks him.)

Voiceover: Now at this point things are starting to look bad for our OOWF wrestlers. Several other security guards have made their way over to the melee. As well as a couple other guys from the other Fed. But since they are entertainers and not wrestlers the OOWF guys shouldn’t have a problem with them.

(Firewoman, Seamus, and Tytan are now surrounded by a crew that wants to throw them out of there.)

Firewoman: So do you boys have any ideas?

Seamus: I say we just fight!

Tytan: I agree, besides that is all I really know hoe to do.

Voiceover: Just then a voice is heard doing the “Da-da-dahh! And then we see Crete flying off of a nearby table taking out three of them security guys. The brawl then continues.

Seamus: It’s about time you got here!

Crete: I had to plan my entrance, citizens.

Tytan: Geek!

Firewoman: That’s my line. Damn, Tytan do you always have to use my lines!

Tytan: That’s in the bad guy rule book. Use the other person’s catch phrase to piss them off even more.

Firewoman: Well it’s working. (She then clocks him one.)

Tytan: (Shakes it off.) Okay so I deserved that one. Now how are we going to get out of here?

(Crete then notices a nearby large window.)

Crete: The window! (And without waiting for anyone else starts to run for it. The others look and notice they have no other options and they do the same. The camera then cuts to Arnold who is yelling to his security.)

Arnold: (Trying to be the closest thing to a bad guy as he can.) GET THEM! I SAID GET THEM!

(Then the camera cuts to the outside to see the four of them going through the window in a really cool shot. Luckily for them this was on the first floor. An Ultimo Inc. Truck is waiting outside somehow Biggs knew there was trouble. Everyone gets in and they drive off, with some of Arnold’s security following.)

Biggs: Now what? I don’t know if I am going to be able to outrun them.

Firewoman: What do you mean Ultimo Inc. can’t spend the money to buy a decent vehicle that can outrun the bad guys?

Tytan: Don’t go there Fire!

(Just then Seamus has an idea.)

Seamus: Drop me off here!

Crete: But Citizen Seamus they will catch you.

Seamus: Not if I can help it.

Voiceover: Biggs stops the car and Seamus jumps out. The truck drives off and as they watch they see Seamus pulling out with the Forklift which still had the MLS Cup in it filled with Beer. He pulls it out to the middle of the road and leaves it. He then grabs the Cup and runs off seeing a bachelorette party heading into another bar.

Crete: It looks like Citizen Seamus will be okay.

Tytan: Now all right Biggs it seems like we are going to be okay. Let’s drop these two off here.

Firewoman: I knew that wasn’t going to last.

(Firewoman and Crete get out of the stopped car. Tytan smirks and waves to them.)

Tytan: Remember I am the bad guy.

(Firewoman flips him off.)

Crete: Citizen Fire was that necessary?

Firewoman: Yes, it was.

Crete: So Citizen Fire, what should we do now?

(Firewoman throws her hands up in discuss and walks off leaving Crete alone.)

(FADE)