Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 20:50:24 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, Texas
CHRIS COLE vs. DAMON WRATH
Chris Cole wins in short order. Match to be added later.
IHOP vs. FF CAPSLOCK, CHRIS EVANS & BLITZ
Angelo Barros is YOUR referee~!
IHOP out first to a wild chorus of boos. THE Amnesiac soaks it in like cheers, SYB and Skurge don't seem to acknowledge the crowd. Seperate entrances for their opponents. Blitz out first to a nice pop, though he frowns at "Jobber Blitz = Aquaman?" sign in the crowd. "Lionheart" Chris Evans out next to respectable cheers. FF's music plays once..... no Capslock.
Music plays again.... no capslock. Cameras cut to backstage where the Rick is in the Jobber Locker room.
GMtR: Anyone wanna work?
(the ENTIRE locker room is on its feet begging for a shot)
GMtR: Oy.....
(Hi-Yo Sakamoto runs out the door before GM The Rick can close the door completely. He dashes to the ring)
Blitz: uh....yeah.
Evans: at least he's wearing a costume
Blitz: Shut up.
Sakamoto jumps into the ring to start and ends up nose-to-chest with Skurge, who just grins savagely at the jobber. Sakamoto starts with a flurry of kicks, which Skuge just watches the little jobber go. Evans has his head in his hands and Blitz wishes he could call in the Heroes' Guild for this one. Skuge finally grabs the jobber around the throat and throws him to the corner, knocking Evans to the floor. Blitz tags himself in while Sakamoto makes sure he hasn't soiled his tights.
Blitz walks right up to Skurge, who is cracking his knuckles in anticipation. The two lock up, but it's no contest.... Skurge backs Blitz to a neutral corner, but gives a clean break at Barros' 4 count. He lunges at the corner but Blitz drops straight down, letting Skurge slam his chest into the top turnbuckle. As he backs off, Blitz pulls himself up, hops to the top rope and staggers Skurge with a Missle dropkick to the back. Skurge regains his footing and reaches for Blitz, who is already back on his feet and bounding for the corner where Evans has recovered. He tags Evans, who confidently climbs in and stands up to Skurge. The two lock up, but this time Evans is able to take a quick advantage by getting Skurge in an armwringer. He quickly chains it to a hammerlock, trying to push the big man down to his knees. Skurge fakes pushing down to his knees to reverse the arm wringer and he backs to his corner to tag in THE Amnesiac. Amn leaps over the ropes and double ax-handles Evans' arm and Evans staggers away. Amn follows, grabs Evans' arm and whips him back across the ring, where the two run the ropes to try to catch each other on moves before Evans catches Amn midair for a powerslam and a quick cover - a 1 count. Evans gets Amn to his feet and the two engage in some serious MAT RASSLIN. Sakamoto is taking notes in the corner while Blitz tries to rally the crowd. Evans has the upper hand but when he comes back to his corner he sees Blitz is even watching the match! He tags Blitz - hard - and demands ot know where his head's at. Blitz jumps in the ring and the two get nose to nose. Amn tags in SYB to see if he can do anything with the duelling duo. SYB pushes Evans, who pie-faces him away. SYB then pushes Blitz, who pie-faces him as well. The two of them are arguing as SYB stomps back to the corner, tags in Skurge, and points. Skurge walks up to them and pushes them both. Before they can react, Sakamoto tries to cross-body Skurge but he casually catches the jobber, carries him to the announce side, and makes sure Sakamoto goes through the Korean announce table. Skurge turns back around and sees Blitz and Evans brawling. He just smirks while Barros is trying to break that up. He turns back to his corner and celebrates the victory as Barros calls for the bell to stop teammates from fighting.
WINNERS in 7:42 - IHOP
THE DEAD vs. STANK
Arena goes black, fog begins to rise and Smashing Pumpkin’s Doomsday Clock fills the night. Through the fog and under the black light out steps The Dead…The Dead looks around the arena, raises him arms once in the air and runs down to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope bouncing to his feet and up on to the far turnbuckle…The strobe lights begin, two load explosions pop with red flames and Nonpoint’s “Skin ” begins as Stank charges out of the back and down the ramp
Stank hits the ring and The Dead like a bull stampede…Stank has speared The Dead and now has him on the ground delivering lefts and rights to the head…
Referee calls for the bell and now we are under way…Stank grabs TD and pulls him to his feet, Irish whip to the robes and catches him with a twisting power bomb. The Dead is under attack early here folks…
Stank is up and bounces off the ropes and goes for a Stankonia 2.0, TD rolls out of the way. Stank may have been a little too eager there, way too early in the match for that…both men make their way to their feet and TD catches Stank with a knife edge chop that backs the big man up…another one and Stank is backed into the corner, TD climbs the ropes…starts to deliver punches to the face…1….2….3…..4…5…6..7….8….9…10…
TD jumps off the second rope and grabs Stank for a bull dog out of the corner, TD covers..1…2 and Stank kicks out. TD pulls Stank up and catches him with a swinging neck breaker and again with the quick cover…1….2.. and once again Stank kicks out at 2 and 1/2…TD goes to pull Stank up again but Stank delivers a perfect thumb to the eye…and as Jessie used to say doesn’t matter how much you work out you can’t work out the eye…TD stumbles away to the ropes, Stank is up and after him…
Stank clubs TD across the back with a few big forearm shots and grabs him around the waist for a fall away gut wrench…that throws TD half way across the ring.
Stank slides over to TD and covers him hooking the far leg…1…2…Referee calls for the break as TD lifts his other leg to the ropes…Stank pulls TD up with him but TD breaks the hold and delivers a right to the jaw, Stank responses with a right of his own and this thing turns into a pier sixer…both men unloading on each other…Stank has had enough and hit The Dead with a clothesline from Hell that turns TD inside out…Stank for the cover 1….2….2 ½ and TD barely gets hit shoulder up…Stank brings him up and delivers a shitfaced on The Dead…ohhhhh TD looks to have a bloody nose on that one, Stank for the cover 1…2…2 and ¾….ahhhh how did he do it, The Dead kicked out, he must be going on instinct now because he’s should be out on his feet…Stank is beside himself, he argues with the ref for a faster count…ref just shrugs his shoulder and holds up 2 fingers…
Stank firmly in control of the match grabs The Dead and whips him to the ropes, Stank bends down to sets himself too early, The Dead kicks him and follows that up with DDT. The crowd is stunned, Stank is stunned, hell I think The Dead is stunned…TD waits for Stank to get up….he’s measuring his man…Stank is up and turns around…BAMMMMM…The Dead nails him! Close the Casket! Stank is down…The Dead covers…1….2….3 and your winner, The Dead! Wow Stank had this match from the beginning…it just goes to show you that on any given day the Superstars in the OOWF can win or lose in a blink of the eye!
WINNER in 15:59 – The Dead
SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. MATTE vs. THIM REYNOLDS – Winner Gets an Onslaught Title Shot Next Week
Matte is announced first and he comes to the ring and slumps in the corner and waits for his opponents to make an appearance. Seamus and Thim are both announced, but neither comes out. They are announced a second time, but still nothing. Finally, the referee is about to start the ten count, when they burst through the back onto the stage, trading haymakers. Both men are already bloody, so who knows how long this has been going on. Since last week perhaps? Who knows. Thim and Seamus make their way partly down the ramp then both seem to realize that the referee is counting them, so they break off the fight and rush to the ring and slide under the ropes just before the count out. As Thim gets to his feet, Matte charges out of the corner and hits him with a running knee lift, then kicks Seamus in the gut and DROPS him with the NEVERMIND DDT! Matte covers, but Thim pulls him off of Seamus just before the three. Thim pulls Matte to his feet and sends him to the ropes and tries a spine buster, but somehow Matte reverses that into a DDT as well. Thim rolls out of the ring and Matte gets a running start and dives between the ropes and slams into Thim sending him back first into the guard rail. Matte is quickly back to his feet and slides under the ropes just as Seamus gets to his feet. Matte bounds off the ropes and connects with a clothesline to the back of Seamus’ head that sends him into the corner. Matte charges in, but Seamus gets a boot up that catches Matte right on the jaw. Matte staggers out of the corner, just as Thim gets back into the ring. Thim charges and hits Matte with a flying boot to the face. Matte may be dead. Thim moves to make the cover, but Seamus charges out of the corner and connects with a clothesline that sends Thim against the ropes. Seamus charges again and tries to clothesline Thim over the top rope, but Thim backdrops Seamus out of the ring to the floor. Thim grabs Matte and buries a knee to his midsection, then hits a tilt-a-whirl brain buster! Thim covers, but Matte rolls his shoulder at two. Thim pulls Matte to his feet and sets him on the top rope facing the audience. Thim starts to climb up after him when Seamus gets back into the ring and nails him with a forearm. Thim falls off the ropes and Seamus sends him to the ropes and catches him with a drop toe hold that hangs Thim on the middle rope. Seamus steps onto the apron and runs the apron and catches Thim on the temple with a knee. Thim slumps to the mat and Seamus slides back into the ring and grabs Matte, who is still sitting on the top rope, and hits the CELTIC CROSS! Matte hits the mat and flops like a dead fish. Seamus moves in to cover, but Thim stops him with a clubbing shot to the back of the head. Thim gets to his feet and he and Seamus go toe to toe again. They trade haymakers, ignoring the referee’s warnings about closed fists. Seamus ducks a wild swing from Thim and connects with a head butt to Seamus face that staggers him, and leaves blood pouring from his nose. Seamus tries to clothesline him out again, but once again Thim backdrops him, this time though, Seamus lands on his feet. He spins Thim around and GUILLOTINES him on the top rope! Thim staggers backward. Matte is now on his feet, he spins Thim around, kicks him, and DROPS him with the NEVERMIND DDT! Matte quickly covers and hooks both legs and gets the one, two, THREE just before Seamus can make it back in to break things up!
WINNER in 12:49 – Matte
Matte quickly bails out of the ring while Seamus and Thim resume their brawl. They fight around ringside and back up the ramp before security finally separate them.
DAVIN MORELAND & BRYCE LARSON vs. CONCRETE TG & NAYR
Moreland and Larson make their way to the ring first, with an air of confidence that can be sensed for miles. Concrete TG leads Nayr to the ring, and the Halfling Luchador still seems uneasy about facing his former partner. The announcements are made, all four men are ready and the bell rings. We are underway!
Larson starts out with CTG, and they lock horns in the center of the ring! Neither man can gain an advantage, until CTG finally takes Larson over in a side headlock. Larson immediately turns it into a head scissors. CTG rolls them both over, putting his own shoulders down on the mat. Hightower counts, but CTG bridges up, both avoiding the pin and breaking out of the head scissors. CTG takes both men over once more, this time tying up Larson's legs. CTG then goes back to the headlock. This time Bryce slips out, trapping CTG in a hammerlock. Bryce releases, and both men pop up to their feet, facing each other in the middle of the ring. CTG goes over to talk strategy with Nayr, and Larson does the same with Moreland. Davin Moreland tags himself in, so Nayr does the same!
They lock-up, and Moreland simply tosses Nayr back into his own corner. Nayr comes back to center ring, and the same exchange is repeated. This time, both men retreat to their corner. The Guild members discuss switching, but Nayr stays in the ring. Larson gives Moreland instructions, since he knows Nayr so well.
Moreland approaches the center of the ring, and suddenly Bryce Larson jumps up to the top rope and hits a springboard dropkick to the back of Davin Moreland! The crowd gets to their feet in amazement. Nayr immediately looks to CTG, shocked. CTG smiles, pointing to a downed Davin Moreland, and Nayr bounces of the ropes and connects with a seated dropkick to the face. CTG enters the ring and connects with the Long Arm of the Law! Moreland is down, and Bryce picks him up for a brain buster in the center of the ring. Bryce ascends the corner, and is seated on the top turnbuckle. CTG directs Nayr over, and he looks at Bryce, who smiles as well. Nayr climbs up to Bryce's shoulders, standing high above the Springfield crowd. Bryce stands, and Nayr launches and connects with a Double Rotation Shooting Star Press off of Bryce's shoulders! Nayr covers...1...2...3!
WINNERS in 4:57 - Nayr and Concrete TG
Blitz and Damon Wrath enter the ring to celebrate with The Heroes Guild as Bryce Larson puts the Guild shirt on. CTG grabs the mic, and it's promo time!
CTG: Citizen Larson...welcome home!
Nayr is jumping up and down, excited beyond belief. Bryce grabs the mic.
BL: It's good to be back, Gryfon. Davin Moreland, the day you offered yourself to me as a potential partner was the day I found the perfect opening...the perfect opening for The Heroes Guild!
Bryce turns to address Nayr.
BL: Midget, I know you were put through an emotional roller coaster over this. But Nayr, there is only one man in this company that I want to team with, and it's you!
Nayr runs to Bryce and gives him a little brother like hug. Mary Jane has made her way to ringside. Bryce reaches through the ropes to shake her hand, and then she kisses Nayr.
CTG: Citizen Larson, Bryce, you've been through a ton. And you've proven that even as a vigilante, you're a true hero. But "The King of the Indies" Bryce "The Bad Ass Dragon" Larson isn't a very good Hero name. From this day forward, you are "Bulletproof" Bryce Larson!
BL: Thank you Gryfon...thank you. Ladies and Gentleman, take a good look at the new protectors of good in the world. And to all of the evil doers in the back, know this. Damon Wrath, Blitz, Nayr the Halfling Luchador, Bulletproof Bryce Larson, and our leader Concrete Takaken Gryfon aren't just reacting to evil actions anymore. We are seeking evil out to extinguish it before harm is done. Because THIS is The Heroes Guild!
All five men pose in the ring as the referees pull take Davin Moreland out of the ring and to the back. As Moreland gets to the top of the ramp, he finally pulls himself together. He shoves the ref’s away from him and turns and glares at Larson in the middle of the ring. Larson catches his stare and invites him back to the ring. Davin takes one step toward the ring, then his entire demeanor changes and he looks down and heads to the back.
DH MAGNUSSON vs. SPIN HANSEN – Non-Title Street Fight
Spin Hansen enters the arena first, showing his loyalty to Drink and Destroy by using “Alcohaulin' Ass” as his music. D.H. Magnusson, Onslaught belt in hand, sprints out to sneak attack, but the fans warn Spin and he drops out of the way. DH puts on the brakes and turns around, right into a big boot from Spin. Hansen pulls his former partner to his feet, doubles him over with a knee to the midsection, and repeatedly drives knees into his face. He drags DH to ringside and runs him head-first into the ring post. Blood is flowing from DH's forehead as Spin grabs him for a DDT. DH fights back with punches to the stomach, then reverses into a suplex that drops Spin on the ring steps. DH kicks Spin onto the floor, then picks up the steps and drives them into his midsection. He searches under the ring and comes up with his logging chain. He wraps it around his fist and tries for a fist drop, but Spin rolls out of the way. Spin gets to his feet and starts stomping on DH's arm until he lets go of the chain. Spin sets the chain on the apron and stuffs DH into the ring, where referee Junior Hale calls for the bell to finally start the match.
Spin sends DH to the ropes and levels him with a clothesline, then pounces on him and starts pounding away with lefts and rights. DH manages to throw him off, trapping his arm in the process and locking on an arm bar Spin struggles, and manages to get enough leverage to roll DH up, forcing him to break the hold.
Both men roll to their feet. DH ducks a clothesline, hits the ropes, and delivers a shoulder block that staggers Spin, but doesn't knock him down. DH tries again, but Spin still manages to stay on his feet. DH snarls and waves Spin to the ropes. Spin tries for his own shoulder block, but DH sidesteps. Spin hits the opposite ropes and gets planted by a spine buster. DH delivers a swift kick to the head and goes to retrieve his chain. As he turns around, Spin springs to his feet and drives a forearm into his jaw. He backs him into the corner with a series of right hands, then doubles him over with a knee and drives an elbow into the back of his head. Spin grabs the chain away, wraps it around his fist, and starts pummeling DH, increasing the blood flowing from his forehead. DH puts a stop to that with a kick to the Hansen’s, then nails him with a wicked right hand. DH yanks the chain away, gets a running start, and slams it into Spin's face. Spin drops like he's been shot, and comes up bleeding.
DH stomps his partner to the mat and whips him with the chain, raising ugly welts on his back. DH drops the chain and grabs Spin's arms, showing his loyalty to run DEA by hitting the curb stomp. He holds on and pistons Spin's face into the mat several more times, until the mat is stained with blood. DH drags Spin to his feet and shoves him onto the corner. He rocks him with punches, then sits him on the top rope. DH climbs the turnbuckles as well, brushing off Spin's attempts to fight back. DH tries for a superplex, but Spin blocks it. After a few moments of struggle, Spin hip tosses DH off the top to the outside, where he crashes through the Lichtenstein announce table. Spin teeters on the top, but at the last moment finds enough control to turn his fall into a diving head butt to DH in the wreckage. Junior checks both men and looks around uncertainly – they're obviously hurt, but calling this match would likely cause a riot. With a shake of his head he starts to count.
Spin is the first to stir at six. He drags himself over to DH – and wraps his hands around his throat to choke him. Rage gives him energy, and he climbs on DH, kneeling on his shoulders and slamming his skull into the floor. DH manages to pull Spin's hands off and hold his arms out straight, pulling him down so he can deliver a wicked head butt. He flips them over and tries to return the choke, but Spin throws him off. DH comes up with a piece of broken table. He swings, but Spin ducks, driving a shoulder into DH's midsection and flipping him over the railing into the crowd. DH uses the barricade to drag himself to his feet, and Spin wraps a chair around his head before climbing into the crowd as well. The fans love being up close to the brutality – until they notice the blood soaking their clothes. Spin runs DH face-first into the arena wall, and they fight their way to the stairway to the upper deck, bowling over more than a few fans in the process. Security attempts to direct them back to ringside, but gives that up after the third man is knocked unconscious. Spin and DH brawl up to and across the second level. At an open area directly above the sound guys, DH tries to throw Spin over the railing, but Spin fights back. He chokes DH against the metal railing then, with a sick gleam in his eye, hoists him into position for a Border toss! As he goes over the railing, DH hooks his legs on Spins shoulders, hitting the ugliest Frankensteiner in history, tossing Spin over the railing, and through the sound table! DH, hanging from the railing, drops a shorter distance to the floor, but he's not moving either. The crowd starts a chant, but it peters out as shock sets in.
EMT's are out to help both men, but once they're conscious Spin and DH fight them off. Both men stagger toward each other and start swinging. Fortunately they move in the right direction, saving security some pain. DH clotheslines Spin over the railing into the aisle and drags him to the ring. He hits a brutal power bomb on the floor, then stuffs Spin into the ring. He props him up and levels him with the Jersey Hammer. With a blood-soaked smirk, DH makes the cover and Junior counts One...Two...Thr – SPIN KICKS OUT!
DH is shocked, and takes a moment to clear his head. When he moves back in, Spin catches him with a kick to the face. Getting to his feet, Spin staggers DH with punches and sends him to the corner, hitting an avalanche, and following up with a belly-to-belly suplex. Spin rolls to the outside and digs under the ring. He comes out with his rebar, but isn't satisfied. He continues searching and finds – uh-oh – a coil of barbed wire. It's hard to tell through the blood, but it looks like he's smiling. He wraps the wire around the rebar, which gives DH time to slide out of the ring and circle behind him. DH spins Spin around – and gets clocked by the rebar. Spin drives the rebar into DH's back over and over, the drags him to his feet and crams him into the ring. He pulls DH up, traps his arms, and hits a series of head butts that leaves both men staggered. He drives a knee into his midsection and hoists him for the Jaegerbomb. DH starts throwing punches at the top of the move and knocks Spin off balance. He staggers, but manages to fall forward, hitting a regular power bomb. It takes him a moment to cover, and DH rolls a shoulder just before the three.
Spin drags DH to his feet and sets up a suplex, but DH fights free. They slug it out until DH slips a punch and gets behind Spin. DREAMSTREET! DH has the Dragon Sleeper cinched in, but Spin refuses to tap. After an agonizing struggle, he manages to fight his way free. Both men use the ropes to pull themselves to their feet, and DH lunges, but Spin sidesteps and hits a drop toehold. He drives several elbows into the back of DH's head, then pulls him to his feet. He tries for the suplex again, and this time gets him up, HAIR OF THE DOG! Spin falls on DH for the cover and Junior counts One...Two...Three.
WINNER, in 26:47, Spin Hansen.
After the match: EMTs flood the ring, bringing security just in case, but neither man is in any shape to fight them off. Both men are eventually helped to the back as the stunned crowd looks on.
THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER vs. KZ – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
Kz is announced first, and the boos rain down from the fans, presumably on LD Williams. LD pauses for a moment, soaking it all in. He smirks and he and Moose head to the ring and wait. The Team From Down Under are announced, but they sprint down the ramp and immediately attack kz! Moose and Gator tumble between the ropes and fall to the floor, LD and Jack trade chops and punches in the middle of the ring. Jack is beyond furious and he rakes LD’s eyes and throws him through the ropes to the floor. Jack follows LD to the floor and grabs him by the hair and pulls his head back and DROPS him with a chop to the throat. LD falls to the floor and Jack stomps away. Moose rakes Gator’s eyes and throws him into the stairs shoulder first and grabs a chair and charges across ringside and NAILS Jack with a chair shot. Jack gets his arm up just in time to deflect some of the blow, but it still staggers him. Moose pounces on Gator and knocks him to the floor, then lifts the guard rail and slams it down on his head. Moose hammers Jack with closed fists to the face. LD gets back to his feet and he and Moose pull Jack to his feet and pull him over to the ring post. Jack and LD slide into the ring holding Jack’s arms, and pull him forward FACE FIRST into the steel! The echo of skull meeting steel rings through the arena and Jack collapses to the floor. Gator slides into the ring and spins Moose around and SMASHES a bottle on his skull, Moose drops to his knees holding his head while blood runs between his fingers. Gator grabs a piece of the glass and punches LD, leaving a gash across his cheek. Williams backs up, but Gator comes after him, pinning him into the corner where both men fight for the piece of glass. Moose slowly gets to his feet, and we see Jack is back on his feet on the outside, gushing blood. He rummages under the ring and comes out with a kendo stick, slides into the ring, and BLASTS Moose with it, sending him to the mat. Jack breaks the kendo stick over Moose’s back, hitting him repeatedly with it. In the corner, Williams frees himself by head butting Gator in the face. Williams sees Jack standing over the fallen Moose and slips out of the ring and grabs a chair and climbs back onto the apron. There is a momentary standoff, then the Aussies grab Moose and pull him to his feet and are about to hit the CALL OF THE WILD when LD throws the chair into the ring, bouncing it off of Gator’s face. Gator falls to the mat, and Moose grabs Jack and scoops up a handful of glass and grinds it into Jack’s face, coming close to his eye. Jack howls in pain and falls to his knees. Moose sets up Jack for a heart punch, but a bloody Gator dives in and clips the back of Moose’s leg. Williams comes back in and pulls Gator up by his hair and kicks him in the gut and DDT’S HIM ONTO THE BROKEN GLASS! The referee, who for some reason let this carnage go on even though it was clear he would never gain any control of the match, seems to have finally seen enough and waves the match off and immediately calls for security. The four men are still fighting and clawing at one another when security comes out to break them up. Well that fails, so the locker room empties and pulls the two teams apart. Once they are finally separated Poe and Seamus are keeping Moose and LD on one side of the ring while Spin and Stank are keeping Jack and Gator at bay. Stank steps part way across the ring and says something to Moose, and Moose responds by spitting a mouthful of blood in Stank’s face. This touches off another brawl between the eight men. The locker room comes back and along with more security and the Springfield Police Department, keeps them separated and sent to the back.
WINNERS – No Contest after 5:11
TYTAN vs. FIREWOMAN – OOWF Intercontinental Title Dog Collar Chain Match
The crowd is amped, and they can't wait to see this next one. Referee Angelo Barros is holding a 10-foot chain with a dog collar attached to either end. This will be a 4 Corners Dog Collar Match. The first competitor to touch all 4 corners in a row will be the winner. “Fuel” hits, and the expected mixed reaction comes with it for Firewoman; who ignores her pyro and just strides into the ring. Barros hands her one of the collars, and Firewoman, with a grin, puts it on. The music switches to “The Fight Inside” and Tytan proceeds down the ramp similarly; ignoring his pyro, and threatening to go right after Fire until Barros begs him off. Tytan clips the collar on himself, and both wrestlers are locked in. Tytan hands the belt to Barros, eager to get this one underway. Barros holds it up in the air. This match is for the OOWF Intercontinental Championship. Barros hands the belt to the outside and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
Slowly, Fire and Tytan circle each other, with the chain between them. It looks like they're going to lock up, but Fire ducks Tytan, and slips behind him. She yanks HARD on the chain and Tytan is PLANTED FACE FIRST! Fire hog-ties Tytan's ankles together, and heads to the turnbuckles! She touches the first; takes a few steps and touches the second. She's going for the third, but there's not nearly enough chain for freedom of movement; and she's got to drag Tytan with her. Tytan is a pretty big dude, and Fire is making progress, but Tytan has rolled to his back, and he yanks back on the chain. Fire lands on the back of her head. Tytan unties himself, pulls Fire up, and hits a DELAYED BRAINBUSTER that looked vicious. Now Tytan's touching corners, as he hits the first and second easily. He has a much easier time dragging Fire across the ring as he goes for the third corner; but by the time he touches it, Fire is now standing, and Tytan notices he's not budging. He seems to debate diving for the 4th corner, but he never gets the chance, as Fire yanks the chain, which propels her forward, and Tytan backward; making for a SICK Dropkick to Tytan's grill. Tytan goes down backward, which sends Fire flying too.
Fire recovers first, and simply wraps the chain around Tytan's throat, choking him. Then, she rolls Tytan over, and locks on the FIRETAMER! Fire's knee is forcing Tytan's throat right into the chain; and Fire is rearing back as far as she possibly can. It's not long before Tytan passes out, and Barros has to convince Fire not to kill Tytan. Reluctantly, she agrees, and releases the hold. She easily touches the first and second corners. She then has to drag Tytan across the ring; and it's a maddeningly slow process – especially with Tytan unconscious. Finally, she gets to the third corner, and she smiles; thinking she can smell the title. At that moment, Tytan starts moving, and Fire panics. She DIVES for the 4th corner, and comes up a couple of feet short. She scrambles to her feet and tries one last time, but she's suspended in midair, as Tytan is holding the chain now. He flings the chain up and catches Fire, hitting a SICK IMPALER DDT! He pulls Fire up, and hits a FULL NELSON SLAM! Satisfied, he heads off to touch some corners.
He gets the first and second without breathing heavy, and it's very little effort to get to the third. He's simply walking to the 4th turnbuckle, and posing in the meantime. He dramatically gets his arm up to tag the corner and ENDS UP OUTSIDE THE RING! Fire did a full-speed baseball slide out to the floor, and Tytan got dragged along for the ride! He goes all the way into the barrier, and Fire is under the ring looking for weapons. She comes up with a Kendo Stick, and it's clobberin' time for Fire. She mercilessly beats on the defenseless Tytan; splitting the stick in two and opening several gashes on the Champ. Fire goes over to the woozy Tytan, and is able to bundle him into the ring. She touches the first corner, then the 2nd. Then, after a struggle, the third! She purposefully heads to the 4th turnbuckle, and she is DECIMATED BY A CLOTHESLINE which sends Fire all the way to the outside, and she is literally hanging, as her feet aren't quite touching the floor. Tytan hits the first corner, and the second corner. He goes for the third corner, and he's helped to it by Fire, as she grabbed the ropes and pulled herself back into the ring, and then smashed Tytan's head into the turnbuckle. In fact, she likes it so much, she does it 13 or 14 times in a row. Tytan's looped! Fire touches the corner. Tytan is still on his feet, but out of it, so he just sort of stumbles behind Fire as she goes to the 2nd turnbuckle. Same thing happens with the third. On the way to the 4th though, Tytan snaps out of it, and runs up behind Fire, and hits a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX...well, kinda. Fire lands on her feet, and she DROPKICKS Tytan into the corner. Tytan shakes it off and yanks on the chain, and WHIPS Fire to the near corner, but Fire REVERSES it, and Tytan winds up in the corner. He eats a couple of elbows for his troubles! Fire nails an ENZIGURI, and she's rolling. Lefts, rights, she's letting her emotions take over now, and she's doing her best to beat Tytan up as best as she can. Tytan staggers out of the corner, and Fire hits a LUCHA LIBRE ARM DRAG, which sends Tytan all the way into the near corner. Fire is ON him and stomps away! Tytan finally kicks Fire's legs out from under her to stop the onslaught. Tytan climbs to his feet and is...walking backward? He's begging off! He's trying to call a time-out! Tytan is slowly backpedaling and Fire simply stalks him. Finally, Tytan is in the corner, and he's got nowhere else to go! Fire's about to unleash the beatings again, and...Tytan tags the corner...and the bell rings? Fire whips off her collar and starts screaming, but Barros swears Tytan just hit 4 corners in a row.
WINNER in 10:16 by Touching All 4 Corners...TYTAN!
POE vs. ALEXANDER DARLING – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match
The music starts and a white strobe light begins to bounce through the arena and the first thing heard is ”There Can Be Only One.” That leads directly into ”Prelude 12/21.” The drum beat of Prelude hits and Alexander and Alexis Darling take a step onto the ramp. They doesn’t move until it finishes and a blue spotlight focuses on them and then ”Princes of the Universe.” hits. The twins have the whole slow-motion douchebag entrance ramped up here this evening, and they SLOWLY make their way to the ring; to the great disapproval of the crowd. Finally, they get into the ring, and Alexander does some Douchebag Posing around the ring, to a predictable response. Just when we think this entrance will never end, “Miseria Cantare” fires up and the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Poe appears at the top of the ramp with the underage Selena Gomez. Pyro goes off everywhere, and they make their way down the ramp to a tremendous ovation. Senior Referee Davis Hightower holds off Alexander as Poe poses around the ring, holding the belt high over his head. The crowd is clearly pleased he's the champ. Finally, he hands the belt to Hightower, who holds it high in the air. This match is for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Hightower hands the belt to the outside and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
Both men circle a bit to start, and trade trash talk in the process. This goes on for a couple of minutes before they're both nose-to-nose (ish, more like nose-to-chest) and letting the expletives fly. Finally, Darling says something, looks like it had to do with Selena as he points to the outside. Poe loses it and swings wildly. Alexander easily ducks under and hits a rear waist lock; immediately turning it into a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX, and Poe, unprepared, landed right on his neck. Darling presses his advantage and drops a couple of elbows. He grabs Poe's legs as if to go for the Darling Money Clip. Poe saw it coming, so he tries to kick Darling off; but Darling intentionally let Poe kick him off, and Darling swings around and locks on a Neck Vice. Normally, this is just a stupid rest hold; but Poe is really feeling the effects after his bad landing, and Hightower is actually checking on him. Poe regains his composure a bit, and starts to, well, “Poe Up”. He gets to a vertical base, but Darling swiftly spins himself around, and hits a SICK NECKBREAKER on Poe. Darling covers, and gets a LONG 2 count. Way too long this early in the match as a matter of fact. Darling slowly pulls Poe up, and locks him in if going for a DDT. Nope, it's a ROLL OF THE DICE (a.k.a. The Generic Finisher that people without finishers use), and it just flattens Poe. Another cover from Darling, and it's another VERY long 2 count, as Poe is just barely able to roll the shoulder. Darling pulls Poe up again, and kicks him in the gut, doubling him over. Darling hits an AXE KICK to the back of Poe's neck! Darling covers again; and Hightower notices at the very last instant that Poe has his foot on the rope. Darling is visibly frustrated, and heads to the top rope. He's about to take off, but is able to hold up as he sees Poe roll out to the floor in a great display of control. Poe gets to his feet outside, and Darling LEVELS him with a TOPE CON HILO FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE! In other promotions, we'd take this opportunity to go to commercial; but THIS IS THE OOWF!
Darling is up first, and is just stomping away on Poe, focusing mainly on the neck region. Poe ends up over near the Steel Steps and he groggily tries to get to his feet. Darling runs up and hits a HURRICARANA which plants Poe's head RIGHT ONTO THE STEEL STEPS! Poe looks dead, and Darling starts posing and talking smack; the crowd is not ok with this. Darling slides into the ring, and instructs Hightower to begin a count. He obliges, and Darling goes to the top of the far turnbuckle to make the “me wanty belt” gesture. Well, who doesn't, right? Hightower is all the way up to 7 before Poe can even get to his knees; and it doesn't appear he really knows where he is right now. At 8, he crawls over near the apron; and Darling (mid-pose) can sense what's going on by the crowd reaction (stupid crowd). Darling flies across the ring and tries a Baseball Slide to keep Poe out of the ring; but Poe sidesteps and slides INTO the ring. Darling lands on his feet outside, and quickly bounds back into the ring, but is met with a HIEROGLYPH! Poe caught Darling square, and he went down like Samantha at a Pharmacy. Both men are down, and Hightower starts counting again.
Both get to their wobbly feet at about 6, but its Poe who makes the first move, and DIVES across the ring, leveling Darling with a Clothesline. Quick Scoop Slam from Poe, and then he follows that up with a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! Poe bridges out, and gets a 2 count before Darling kicks out hard. Poe tries to follow up, but Darling catches him, gets him up a bit, and hits a SLINGSHOT BRAINBUSTER! Darling shakes out the cobwebs as Poe lays motionless in the ring. Darling rolls Poe over, and gets him in a Surfboard Hold. You know what's coming next...MOTHERFUCKING CURBSTOMP! Darling signals for Dark Darling Rising and sprints to the top rope! He sprints to the top rope, and takes off for the PHOENIX SPLASH...and EATS CANVAS! Poe is just able to escape as Darling crashes and burns. Now it's Poe up first, and he grabs Darling like a rag doll, and WHIPS him into the corner, following him in for a HUGE SPLASH! Big HIP TOSS as Darling stumbles out of the corner, and Poe follows that up immediately with a huge boot to the back of the head. Darling looks looped. Poe covers, but Darling escapes at 2. Poe pulls Darling up, and TOSSES him into the corner. Poe charges for a splash, but is BACK BODY DROPPED to the outside over the turnbuckle all the way to the floor, and he landed badly. Darling takes a few seconds to gather himself, and looks at first like he wants to try something high-risk. However, he spots a concerned looking Selena going over toward Poe, and Darling simply jumps out of the ring, and lands on his feet in front of her. He's saying something to her and looking at her menacingly. Selena appears to say something like “that's inappropriate” as she tries to back away. Darling continues to advance on her, so he doesn't see Poe hitting a BULLDOG on him onto the floor.
Quickly, he bundles Darling into the ring and gives chase. He pulls Darling up and hits an OBELISK. It looks like he's going to cover, but instead he pulls Darling up, and whips him to the ropes. He catches Darling with a HIEROGLYPH coming of the ropes! Darling looks finished. Poe pulls Darling up, and hits THE PENDULUM! That's gotta be it. But Poe looks SEVERELY pissed off, and isn't done yet. Poe signals to the crowd, and gets Darling in position for the CRUCIFIXION! He gets him up...and Darling SLIDES OUT THE BACK DOOR, AND FLOATS INTO AN ANKLE LOCK! Darling is glassy-eyed, and barely looks conscious, but he's got the leg GRAPEVINED and seems to have the hold in securely. Poe is in HUGE trouble here, with the mixture of pain from the hold, and the shock from what's just happened. Poe looks like he's fading, and is about to tap; but he Poe's Up again, and makes a desperate dive for the ropes, and just does get there by a fingertip. Darling makes full use of the 5-count before breaking the hold. Poe pulls himself up by the ropes, as Darling shakes out the cobwebs again. Darling charges across the ring and DIVES at Poe, but POE CATCHES HIM IN MIDAIR! He's got Darling on his shoulder, and HITS THE CRUCIFIXION! Good night everybody, drive home safely!
WINNER in 14:59 by PINFALL...Poe!
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Live! From Springfield, Texas
CHRIS COLE vs. DAMON WRATH
Chris Cole wins in short order. Match to be added later.
IHOP vs. FF CAPSLOCK, CHRIS EVANS & BLITZ
Angelo Barros is YOUR referee~!
IHOP out first to a wild chorus of boos. THE Amnesiac soaks it in like cheers, SYB and Skurge don't seem to acknowledge the crowd. Seperate entrances for their opponents. Blitz out first to a nice pop, though he frowns at "Jobber Blitz = Aquaman?" sign in the crowd. "Lionheart" Chris Evans out next to respectable cheers. FF's music plays once..... no Capslock.
Music plays again.... no capslock. Cameras cut to backstage where the Rick is in the Jobber Locker room.
GMtR: Anyone wanna work?
(the ENTIRE locker room is on its feet begging for a shot)
GMtR: Oy.....
(Hi-Yo Sakamoto runs out the door before GM The Rick can close the door completely. He dashes to the ring)
Blitz: uh....yeah.
Evans: at least he's wearing a costume
Blitz: Shut up.
Sakamoto jumps into the ring to start and ends up nose-to-chest with Skurge, who just grins savagely at the jobber. Sakamoto starts with a flurry of kicks, which Skuge just watches the little jobber go. Evans has his head in his hands and Blitz wishes he could call in the Heroes' Guild for this one. Skuge finally grabs the jobber around the throat and throws him to the corner, knocking Evans to the floor. Blitz tags himself in while Sakamoto makes sure he hasn't soiled his tights.
Blitz walks right up to Skurge, who is cracking his knuckles in anticipation. The two lock up, but it's no contest.... Skurge backs Blitz to a neutral corner, but gives a clean break at Barros' 4 count. He lunges at the corner but Blitz drops straight down, letting Skurge slam his chest into the top turnbuckle. As he backs off, Blitz pulls himself up, hops to the top rope and staggers Skurge with a Missle dropkick to the back. Skurge regains his footing and reaches for Blitz, who is already back on his feet and bounding for the corner where Evans has recovered. He tags Evans, who confidently climbs in and stands up to Skurge. The two lock up, but this time Evans is able to take a quick advantage by getting Skurge in an armwringer. He quickly chains it to a hammerlock, trying to push the big man down to his knees. Skurge fakes pushing down to his knees to reverse the arm wringer and he backs to his corner to tag in THE Amnesiac. Amn leaps over the ropes and double ax-handles Evans' arm and Evans staggers away. Amn follows, grabs Evans' arm and whips him back across the ring, where the two run the ropes to try to catch each other on moves before Evans catches Amn midair for a powerslam and a quick cover - a 1 count. Evans gets Amn to his feet and the two engage in some serious MAT RASSLIN. Sakamoto is taking notes in the corner while Blitz tries to rally the crowd. Evans has the upper hand but when he comes back to his corner he sees Blitz is even watching the match! He tags Blitz - hard - and demands ot know where his head's at. Blitz jumps in the ring and the two get nose to nose. Amn tags in SYB to see if he can do anything with the duelling duo. SYB pushes Evans, who pie-faces him away. SYB then pushes Blitz, who pie-faces him as well. The two of them are arguing as SYB stomps back to the corner, tags in Skurge, and points. Skurge walks up to them and pushes them both. Before they can react, Sakamoto tries to cross-body Skurge but he casually catches the jobber, carries him to the announce side, and makes sure Sakamoto goes through the Korean announce table. Skurge turns back around and sees Blitz and Evans brawling. He just smirks while Barros is trying to break that up. He turns back to his corner and celebrates the victory as Barros calls for the bell to stop teammates from fighting.
WINNERS in 7:42 - IHOP
THE DEAD vs. STANK
Arena goes black, fog begins to rise and Smashing Pumpkin’s Doomsday Clock fills the night. Through the fog and under the black light out steps The Dead…The Dead looks around the arena, raises him arms once in the air and runs down to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope bouncing to his feet and up on to the far turnbuckle…The strobe lights begin, two load explosions pop with red flames and Nonpoint’s “Skin ” begins as Stank charges out of the back and down the ramp
Stank hits the ring and The Dead like a bull stampede…Stank has speared The Dead and now has him on the ground delivering lefts and rights to the head…
Referee calls for the bell and now we are under way…Stank grabs TD and pulls him to his feet, Irish whip to the robes and catches him with a twisting power bomb. The Dead is under attack early here folks…
Stank is up and bounces off the ropes and goes for a Stankonia 2.0, TD rolls out of the way. Stank may have been a little too eager there, way too early in the match for that…both men make their way to their feet and TD catches Stank with a knife edge chop that backs the big man up…another one and Stank is backed into the corner, TD climbs the ropes…starts to deliver punches to the face…1….2….3…..4…5…6..7….8….9…10…
TD jumps off the second rope and grabs Stank for a bull dog out of the corner, TD covers..1…2 and Stank kicks out. TD pulls Stank up and catches him with a swinging neck breaker and again with the quick cover…1….2.. and once again Stank kicks out at 2 and 1/2…TD goes to pull Stank up again but Stank delivers a perfect thumb to the eye…and as Jessie used to say doesn’t matter how much you work out you can’t work out the eye…TD stumbles away to the ropes, Stank is up and after him…
Stank clubs TD across the back with a few big forearm shots and grabs him around the waist for a fall away gut wrench…that throws TD half way across the ring.
Stank slides over to TD and covers him hooking the far leg…1…2…Referee calls for the break as TD lifts his other leg to the ropes…Stank pulls TD up with him but TD breaks the hold and delivers a right to the jaw, Stank responses with a right of his own and this thing turns into a pier sixer…both men unloading on each other…Stank has had enough and hit The Dead with a clothesline from Hell that turns TD inside out…Stank for the cover 1….2….2 ½ and TD barely gets hit shoulder up…Stank brings him up and delivers a shitfaced on The Dead…ohhhhh TD looks to have a bloody nose on that one, Stank for the cover 1…2…2 and ¾….ahhhh how did he do it, The Dead kicked out, he must be going on instinct now because he’s should be out on his feet…Stank is beside himself, he argues with the ref for a faster count…ref just shrugs his shoulder and holds up 2 fingers…
Stank firmly in control of the match grabs The Dead and whips him to the ropes, Stank bends down to sets himself too early, The Dead kicks him and follows that up with DDT. The crowd is stunned, Stank is stunned, hell I think The Dead is stunned…TD waits for Stank to get up….he’s measuring his man…Stank is up and turns around…BAMMMMM…The Dead nails him! Close the Casket! Stank is down…The Dead covers…1….2….3 and your winner, The Dead! Wow Stank had this match from the beginning…it just goes to show you that on any given day the Superstars in the OOWF can win or lose in a blink of the eye!
WINNER in 15:59 – The Dead
SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. MATTE vs. THIM REYNOLDS – Winner Gets an Onslaught Title Shot Next Week
Matte is announced first and he comes to the ring and slumps in the corner and waits for his opponents to make an appearance. Seamus and Thim are both announced, but neither comes out. They are announced a second time, but still nothing. Finally, the referee is about to start the ten count, when they burst through the back onto the stage, trading haymakers. Both men are already bloody, so who knows how long this has been going on. Since last week perhaps? Who knows. Thim and Seamus make their way partly down the ramp then both seem to realize that the referee is counting them, so they break off the fight and rush to the ring and slide under the ropes just before the count out. As Thim gets to his feet, Matte charges out of the corner and hits him with a running knee lift, then kicks Seamus in the gut and DROPS him with the NEVERMIND DDT! Matte covers, but Thim pulls him off of Seamus just before the three. Thim pulls Matte to his feet and sends him to the ropes and tries a spine buster, but somehow Matte reverses that into a DDT as well. Thim rolls out of the ring and Matte gets a running start and dives between the ropes and slams into Thim sending him back first into the guard rail. Matte is quickly back to his feet and slides under the ropes just as Seamus gets to his feet. Matte bounds off the ropes and connects with a clothesline to the back of Seamus’ head that sends him into the corner. Matte charges in, but Seamus gets a boot up that catches Matte right on the jaw. Matte staggers out of the corner, just as Thim gets back into the ring. Thim charges and hits Matte with a flying boot to the face. Matte may be dead. Thim moves to make the cover, but Seamus charges out of the corner and connects with a clothesline that sends Thim against the ropes. Seamus charges again and tries to clothesline Thim over the top rope, but Thim backdrops Seamus out of the ring to the floor. Thim grabs Matte and buries a knee to his midsection, then hits a tilt-a-whirl brain buster! Thim covers, but Matte rolls his shoulder at two. Thim pulls Matte to his feet and sets him on the top rope facing the audience. Thim starts to climb up after him when Seamus gets back into the ring and nails him with a forearm. Thim falls off the ropes and Seamus sends him to the ropes and catches him with a drop toe hold that hangs Thim on the middle rope. Seamus steps onto the apron and runs the apron and catches Thim on the temple with a knee. Thim slumps to the mat and Seamus slides back into the ring and grabs Matte, who is still sitting on the top rope, and hits the CELTIC CROSS! Matte hits the mat and flops like a dead fish. Seamus moves in to cover, but Thim stops him with a clubbing shot to the back of the head. Thim gets to his feet and he and Seamus go toe to toe again. They trade haymakers, ignoring the referee’s warnings about closed fists. Seamus ducks a wild swing from Thim and connects with a head butt to Seamus face that staggers him, and leaves blood pouring from his nose. Seamus tries to clothesline him out again, but once again Thim backdrops him, this time though, Seamus lands on his feet. He spins Thim around and GUILLOTINES him on the top rope! Thim staggers backward. Matte is now on his feet, he spins Thim around, kicks him, and DROPS him with the NEVERMIND DDT! Matte quickly covers and hooks both legs and gets the one, two, THREE just before Seamus can make it back in to break things up!
WINNER in 12:49 – Matte
Matte quickly bails out of the ring while Seamus and Thim resume their brawl. They fight around ringside and back up the ramp before security finally separate them.
DAVIN MORELAND & BRYCE LARSON vs. CONCRETE TG & NAYR
Moreland and Larson make their way to the ring first, with an air of confidence that can be sensed for miles. Concrete TG leads Nayr to the ring, and the Halfling Luchador still seems uneasy about facing his former partner. The announcements are made, all four men are ready and the bell rings. We are underway!
Larson starts out with CTG, and they lock horns in the center of the ring! Neither man can gain an advantage, until CTG finally takes Larson over in a side headlock. Larson immediately turns it into a head scissors. CTG rolls them both over, putting his own shoulders down on the mat. Hightower counts, but CTG bridges up, both avoiding the pin and breaking out of the head scissors. CTG takes both men over once more, this time tying up Larson's legs. CTG then goes back to the headlock. This time Bryce slips out, trapping CTG in a hammerlock. Bryce releases, and both men pop up to their feet, facing each other in the middle of the ring. CTG goes over to talk strategy with Nayr, and Larson does the same with Moreland. Davin Moreland tags himself in, so Nayr does the same!
They lock-up, and Moreland simply tosses Nayr back into his own corner. Nayr comes back to center ring, and the same exchange is repeated. This time, both men retreat to their corner. The Guild members discuss switching, but Nayr stays in the ring. Larson gives Moreland instructions, since he knows Nayr so well.
Moreland approaches the center of the ring, and suddenly Bryce Larson jumps up to the top rope and hits a springboard dropkick to the back of Davin Moreland! The crowd gets to their feet in amazement. Nayr immediately looks to CTG, shocked. CTG smiles, pointing to a downed Davin Moreland, and Nayr bounces of the ropes and connects with a seated dropkick to the face. CTG enters the ring and connects with the Long Arm of the Law! Moreland is down, and Bryce picks him up for a brain buster in the center of the ring. Bryce ascends the corner, and is seated on the top turnbuckle. CTG directs Nayr over, and he looks at Bryce, who smiles as well. Nayr climbs up to Bryce's shoulders, standing high above the Springfield crowd. Bryce stands, and Nayr launches and connects with a Double Rotation Shooting Star Press off of Bryce's shoulders! Nayr covers...1...2...3!
WINNERS in 4:57 - Nayr and Concrete TG
Blitz and Damon Wrath enter the ring to celebrate with The Heroes Guild as Bryce Larson puts the Guild shirt on. CTG grabs the mic, and it's promo time!
CTG: Citizen Larson...welcome home!
Nayr is jumping up and down, excited beyond belief. Bryce grabs the mic.
BL: It's good to be back, Gryfon. Davin Moreland, the day you offered yourself to me as a potential partner was the day I found the perfect opening...the perfect opening for The Heroes Guild!
Bryce turns to address Nayr.
BL: Midget, I know you were put through an emotional roller coaster over this. But Nayr, there is only one man in this company that I want to team with, and it's you!
Nayr runs to Bryce and gives him a little brother like hug. Mary Jane has made her way to ringside. Bryce reaches through the ropes to shake her hand, and then she kisses Nayr.
CTG: Citizen Larson, Bryce, you've been through a ton. And you've proven that even as a vigilante, you're a true hero. But "The King of the Indies" Bryce "The Bad Ass Dragon" Larson isn't a very good Hero name. From this day forward, you are "Bulletproof" Bryce Larson!
BL: Thank you Gryfon...thank you. Ladies and Gentleman, take a good look at the new protectors of good in the world. And to all of the evil doers in the back, know this. Damon Wrath, Blitz, Nayr the Halfling Luchador, Bulletproof Bryce Larson, and our leader Concrete Takaken Gryfon aren't just reacting to evil actions anymore. We are seeking evil out to extinguish it before harm is done. Because THIS is The Heroes Guild!
All five men pose in the ring as the referees pull take Davin Moreland out of the ring and to the back. As Moreland gets to the top of the ramp, he finally pulls himself together. He shoves the ref’s away from him and turns and glares at Larson in the middle of the ring. Larson catches his stare and invites him back to the ring. Davin takes one step toward the ring, then his entire demeanor changes and he looks down and heads to the back.
DH MAGNUSSON vs. SPIN HANSEN – Non-Title Street Fight
Spin Hansen enters the arena first, showing his loyalty to Drink and Destroy by using “Alcohaulin' Ass” as his music. D.H. Magnusson, Onslaught belt in hand, sprints out to sneak attack, but the fans warn Spin and he drops out of the way. DH puts on the brakes and turns around, right into a big boot from Spin. Hansen pulls his former partner to his feet, doubles him over with a knee to the midsection, and repeatedly drives knees into his face. He drags DH to ringside and runs him head-first into the ring post. Blood is flowing from DH's forehead as Spin grabs him for a DDT. DH fights back with punches to the stomach, then reverses into a suplex that drops Spin on the ring steps. DH kicks Spin onto the floor, then picks up the steps and drives them into his midsection. He searches under the ring and comes up with his logging chain. He wraps it around his fist and tries for a fist drop, but Spin rolls out of the way. Spin gets to his feet and starts stomping on DH's arm until he lets go of the chain. Spin sets the chain on the apron and stuffs DH into the ring, where referee Junior Hale calls for the bell to finally start the match.
Spin sends DH to the ropes and levels him with a clothesline, then pounces on him and starts pounding away with lefts and rights. DH manages to throw him off, trapping his arm in the process and locking on an arm bar Spin struggles, and manages to get enough leverage to roll DH up, forcing him to break the hold.
Both men roll to their feet. DH ducks a clothesline, hits the ropes, and delivers a shoulder block that staggers Spin, but doesn't knock him down. DH tries again, but Spin still manages to stay on his feet. DH snarls and waves Spin to the ropes. Spin tries for his own shoulder block, but DH sidesteps. Spin hits the opposite ropes and gets planted by a spine buster. DH delivers a swift kick to the head and goes to retrieve his chain. As he turns around, Spin springs to his feet and drives a forearm into his jaw. He backs him into the corner with a series of right hands, then doubles him over with a knee and drives an elbow into the back of his head. Spin grabs the chain away, wraps it around his fist, and starts pummeling DH, increasing the blood flowing from his forehead. DH puts a stop to that with a kick to the Hansen’s, then nails him with a wicked right hand. DH yanks the chain away, gets a running start, and slams it into Spin's face. Spin drops like he's been shot, and comes up bleeding.
DH stomps his partner to the mat and whips him with the chain, raising ugly welts on his back. DH drops the chain and grabs Spin's arms, showing his loyalty to run DEA by hitting the curb stomp. He holds on and pistons Spin's face into the mat several more times, until the mat is stained with blood. DH drags Spin to his feet and shoves him onto the corner. He rocks him with punches, then sits him on the top rope. DH climbs the turnbuckles as well, brushing off Spin's attempts to fight back. DH tries for a superplex, but Spin blocks it. After a few moments of struggle, Spin hip tosses DH off the top to the outside, where he crashes through the Lichtenstein announce table. Spin teeters on the top, but at the last moment finds enough control to turn his fall into a diving head butt to DH in the wreckage. Junior checks both men and looks around uncertainly – they're obviously hurt, but calling this match would likely cause a riot. With a shake of his head he starts to count.
Spin is the first to stir at six. He drags himself over to DH – and wraps his hands around his throat to choke him. Rage gives him energy, and he climbs on DH, kneeling on his shoulders and slamming his skull into the floor. DH manages to pull Spin's hands off and hold his arms out straight, pulling him down so he can deliver a wicked head butt. He flips them over and tries to return the choke, but Spin throws him off. DH comes up with a piece of broken table. He swings, but Spin ducks, driving a shoulder into DH's midsection and flipping him over the railing into the crowd. DH uses the barricade to drag himself to his feet, and Spin wraps a chair around his head before climbing into the crowd as well. The fans love being up close to the brutality – until they notice the blood soaking their clothes. Spin runs DH face-first into the arena wall, and they fight their way to the stairway to the upper deck, bowling over more than a few fans in the process. Security attempts to direct them back to ringside, but gives that up after the third man is knocked unconscious. Spin and DH brawl up to and across the second level. At an open area directly above the sound guys, DH tries to throw Spin over the railing, but Spin fights back. He chokes DH against the metal railing then, with a sick gleam in his eye, hoists him into position for a Border toss! As he goes over the railing, DH hooks his legs on Spins shoulders, hitting the ugliest Frankensteiner in history, tossing Spin over the railing, and through the sound table! DH, hanging from the railing, drops a shorter distance to the floor, but he's not moving either. The crowd starts a chant, but it peters out as shock sets in.
EMT's are out to help both men, but once they're conscious Spin and DH fight them off. Both men stagger toward each other and start swinging. Fortunately they move in the right direction, saving security some pain. DH clotheslines Spin over the railing into the aisle and drags him to the ring. He hits a brutal power bomb on the floor, then stuffs Spin into the ring. He props him up and levels him with the Jersey Hammer. With a blood-soaked smirk, DH makes the cover and Junior counts One...Two...Thr – SPIN KICKS OUT!
DH is shocked, and takes a moment to clear his head. When he moves back in, Spin catches him with a kick to the face. Getting to his feet, Spin staggers DH with punches and sends him to the corner, hitting an avalanche, and following up with a belly-to-belly suplex. Spin rolls to the outside and digs under the ring. He comes out with his rebar, but isn't satisfied. He continues searching and finds – uh-oh – a coil of barbed wire. It's hard to tell through the blood, but it looks like he's smiling. He wraps the wire around the rebar, which gives DH time to slide out of the ring and circle behind him. DH spins Spin around – and gets clocked by the rebar. Spin drives the rebar into DH's back over and over, the drags him to his feet and crams him into the ring. He pulls DH up, traps his arms, and hits a series of head butts that leaves both men staggered. He drives a knee into his midsection and hoists him for the Jaegerbomb. DH starts throwing punches at the top of the move and knocks Spin off balance. He staggers, but manages to fall forward, hitting a regular power bomb. It takes him a moment to cover, and DH rolls a shoulder just before the three.
Spin drags DH to his feet and sets up a suplex, but DH fights free. They slug it out until DH slips a punch and gets behind Spin. DREAMSTREET! DH has the Dragon Sleeper cinched in, but Spin refuses to tap. After an agonizing struggle, he manages to fight his way free. Both men use the ropes to pull themselves to their feet, and DH lunges, but Spin sidesteps and hits a drop toehold. He drives several elbows into the back of DH's head, then pulls him to his feet. He tries for the suplex again, and this time gets him up, HAIR OF THE DOG! Spin falls on DH for the cover and Junior counts One...Two...Three.
WINNER, in 26:47, Spin Hansen.
After the match: EMTs flood the ring, bringing security just in case, but neither man is in any shape to fight them off. Both men are eventually helped to the back as the stunned crowd looks on.
THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER vs. KZ – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
Kz is announced first, and the boos rain down from the fans, presumably on LD Williams. LD pauses for a moment, soaking it all in. He smirks and he and Moose head to the ring and wait. The Team From Down Under are announced, but they sprint down the ramp and immediately attack kz! Moose and Gator tumble between the ropes and fall to the floor, LD and Jack trade chops and punches in the middle of the ring. Jack is beyond furious and he rakes LD’s eyes and throws him through the ropes to the floor. Jack follows LD to the floor and grabs him by the hair and pulls his head back and DROPS him with a chop to the throat. LD falls to the floor and Jack stomps away. Moose rakes Gator’s eyes and throws him into the stairs shoulder first and grabs a chair and charges across ringside and NAILS Jack with a chair shot. Jack gets his arm up just in time to deflect some of the blow, but it still staggers him. Moose pounces on Gator and knocks him to the floor, then lifts the guard rail and slams it down on his head. Moose hammers Jack with closed fists to the face. LD gets back to his feet and he and Moose pull Jack to his feet and pull him over to the ring post. Jack and LD slide into the ring holding Jack’s arms, and pull him forward FACE FIRST into the steel! The echo of skull meeting steel rings through the arena and Jack collapses to the floor. Gator slides into the ring and spins Moose around and SMASHES a bottle on his skull, Moose drops to his knees holding his head while blood runs between his fingers. Gator grabs a piece of the glass and punches LD, leaving a gash across his cheek. Williams backs up, but Gator comes after him, pinning him into the corner where both men fight for the piece of glass. Moose slowly gets to his feet, and we see Jack is back on his feet on the outside, gushing blood. He rummages under the ring and comes out with a kendo stick, slides into the ring, and BLASTS Moose with it, sending him to the mat. Jack breaks the kendo stick over Moose’s back, hitting him repeatedly with it. In the corner, Williams frees himself by head butting Gator in the face. Williams sees Jack standing over the fallen Moose and slips out of the ring and grabs a chair and climbs back onto the apron. There is a momentary standoff, then the Aussies grab Moose and pull him to his feet and are about to hit the CALL OF THE WILD when LD throws the chair into the ring, bouncing it off of Gator’s face. Gator falls to the mat, and Moose grabs Jack and scoops up a handful of glass and grinds it into Jack’s face, coming close to his eye. Jack howls in pain and falls to his knees. Moose sets up Jack for a heart punch, but a bloody Gator dives in and clips the back of Moose’s leg. Williams comes back in and pulls Gator up by his hair and kicks him in the gut and DDT’S HIM ONTO THE BROKEN GLASS! The referee, who for some reason let this carnage go on even though it was clear he would never gain any control of the match, seems to have finally seen enough and waves the match off and immediately calls for security. The four men are still fighting and clawing at one another when security comes out to break them up. Well that fails, so the locker room empties and pulls the two teams apart. Once they are finally separated Poe and Seamus are keeping Moose and LD on one side of the ring while Spin and Stank are keeping Jack and Gator at bay. Stank steps part way across the ring and says something to Moose, and Moose responds by spitting a mouthful of blood in Stank’s face. This touches off another brawl between the eight men. The locker room comes back and along with more security and the Springfield Police Department, keeps them separated and sent to the back.
WINNERS – No Contest after 5:11
TYTAN vs. FIREWOMAN – OOWF Intercontinental Title Dog Collar Chain Match
The crowd is amped, and they can't wait to see this next one. Referee Angelo Barros is holding a 10-foot chain with a dog collar attached to either end. This will be a 4 Corners Dog Collar Match. The first competitor to touch all 4 corners in a row will be the winner. “Fuel” hits, and the expected mixed reaction comes with it for Firewoman; who ignores her pyro and just strides into the ring. Barros hands her one of the collars, and Firewoman, with a grin, puts it on. The music switches to “The Fight Inside” and Tytan proceeds down the ramp similarly; ignoring his pyro, and threatening to go right after Fire until Barros begs him off. Tytan clips the collar on himself, and both wrestlers are locked in. Tytan hands the belt to Barros, eager to get this one underway. Barros holds it up in the air. This match is for the OOWF Intercontinental Championship. Barros hands the belt to the outside and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
Slowly, Fire and Tytan circle each other, with the chain between them. It looks like they're going to lock up, but Fire ducks Tytan, and slips behind him. She yanks HARD on the chain and Tytan is PLANTED FACE FIRST! Fire hog-ties Tytan's ankles together, and heads to the turnbuckles! She touches the first; takes a few steps and touches the second. She's going for the third, but there's not nearly enough chain for freedom of movement; and she's got to drag Tytan with her. Tytan is a pretty big dude, and Fire is making progress, but Tytan has rolled to his back, and he yanks back on the chain. Fire lands on the back of her head. Tytan unties himself, pulls Fire up, and hits a DELAYED BRAINBUSTER that looked vicious. Now Tytan's touching corners, as he hits the first and second easily. He has a much easier time dragging Fire across the ring as he goes for the third corner; but by the time he touches it, Fire is now standing, and Tytan notices he's not budging. He seems to debate diving for the 4th corner, but he never gets the chance, as Fire yanks the chain, which propels her forward, and Tytan backward; making for a SICK Dropkick to Tytan's grill. Tytan goes down backward, which sends Fire flying too.
Fire recovers first, and simply wraps the chain around Tytan's throat, choking him. Then, she rolls Tytan over, and locks on the FIRETAMER! Fire's knee is forcing Tytan's throat right into the chain; and Fire is rearing back as far as she possibly can. It's not long before Tytan passes out, and Barros has to convince Fire not to kill Tytan. Reluctantly, she agrees, and releases the hold. She easily touches the first and second corners. She then has to drag Tytan across the ring; and it's a maddeningly slow process – especially with Tytan unconscious. Finally, she gets to the third corner, and she smiles; thinking she can smell the title. At that moment, Tytan starts moving, and Fire panics. She DIVES for the 4th corner, and comes up a couple of feet short. She scrambles to her feet and tries one last time, but she's suspended in midair, as Tytan is holding the chain now. He flings the chain up and catches Fire, hitting a SICK IMPALER DDT! He pulls Fire up, and hits a FULL NELSON SLAM! Satisfied, he heads off to touch some corners.
He gets the first and second without breathing heavy, and it's very little effort to get to the third. He's simply walking to the 4th turnbuckle, and posing in the meantime. He dramatically gets his arm up to tag the corner and ENDS UP OUTSIDE THE RING! Fire did a full-speed baseball slide out to the floor, and Tytan got dragged along for the ride! He goes all the way into the barrier, and Fire is under the ring looking for weapons. She comes up with a Kendo Stick, and it's clobberin' time for Fire. She mercilessly beats on the defenseless Tytan; splitting the stick in two and opening several gashes on the Champ. Fire goes over to the woozy Tytan, and is able to bundle him into the ring. She touches the first corner, then the 2nd. Then, after a struggle, the third! She purposefully heads to the 4th turnbuckle, and she is DECIMATED BY A CLOTHESLINE which sends Fire all the way to the outside, and she is literally hanging, as her feet aren't quite touching the floor. Tytan hits the first corner, and the second corner. He goes for the third corner, and he's helped to it by Fire, as she grabbed the ropes and pulled herself back into the ring, and then smashed Tytan's head into the turnbuckle. In fact, she likes it so much, she does it 13 or 14 times in a row. Tytan's looped! Fire touches the corner. Tytan is still on his feet, but out of it, so he just sort of stumbles behind Fire as she goes to the 2nd turnbuckle. Same thing happens with the third. On the way to the 4th though, Tytan snaps out of it, and runs up behind Fire, and hits a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX...well, kinda. Fire lands on her feet, and she DROPKICKS Tytan into the corner. Tytan shakes it off and yanks on the chain, and WHIPS Fire to the near corner, but Fire REVERSES it, and Tytan winds up in the corner. He eats a couple of elbows for his troubles! Fire nails an ENZIGURI, and she's rolling. Lefts, rights, she's letting her emotions take over now, and she's doing her best to beat Tytan up as best as she can. Tytan staggers out of the corner, and Fire hits a LUCHA LIBRE ARM DRAG, which sends Tytan all the way into the near corner. Fire is ON him and stomps away! Tytan finally kicks Fire's legs out from under her to stop the onslaught. Tytan climbs to his feet and is...walking backward? He's begging off! He's trying to call a time-out! Tytan is slowly backpedaling and Fire simply stalks him. Finally, Tytan is in the corner, and he's got nowhere else to go! Fire's about to unleash the beatings again, and...Tytan tags the corner...and the bell rings? Fire whips off her collar and starts screaming, but Barros swears Tytan just hit 4 corners in a row.
WINNER in 10:16 by Touching All 4 Corners...TYTAN!
POE vs. ALEXANDER DARLING – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match
The music starts and a white strobe light begins to bounce through the arena and the first thing heard is ”There Can Be Only One.” That leads directly into ”Prelude 12/21.” The drum beat of Prelude hits and Alexander and Alexis Darling take a step onto the ramp. They doesn’t move until it finishes and a blue spotlight focuses on them and then ”Princes of the Universe.” hits. The twins have the whole slow-motion douchebag entrance ramped up here this evening, and they SLOWLY make their way to the ring; to the great disapproval of the crowd. Finally, they get into the ring, and Alexander does some Douchebag Posing around the ring, to a predictable response. Just when we think this entrance will never end, “Miseria Cantare” fires up and the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Poe appears at the top of the ramp with the underage Selena Gomez. Pyro goes off everywhere, and they make their way down the ramp to a tremendous ovation. Senior Referee Davis Hightower holds off Alexander as Poe poses around the ring, holding the belt high over his head. The crowd is clearly pleased he's the champ. Finally, he hands the belt to Hightower, who holds it high in the air. This match is for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Hightower hands the belt to the outside and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!
Both men circle a bit to start, and trade trash talk in the process. This goes on for a couple of minutes before they're both nose-to-nose (ish, more like nose-to-chest) and letting the expletives fly. Finally, Darling says something, looks like it had to do with Selena as he points to the outside. Poe loses it and swings wildly. Alexander easily ducks under and hits a rear waist lock; immediately turning it into a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX, and Poe, unprepared, landed right on his neck. Darling presses his advantage and drops a couple of elbows. He grabs Poe's legs as if to go for the Darling Money Clip. Poe saw it coming, so he tries to kick Darling off; but Darling intentionally let Poe kick him off, and Darling swings around and locks on a Neck Vice. Normally, this is just a stupid rest hold; but Poe is really feeling the effects after his bad landing, and Hightower is actually checking on him. Poe regains his composure a bit, and starts to, well, “Poe Up”. He gets to a vertical base, but Darling swiftly spins himself around, and hits a SICK NECKBREAKER on Poe. Darling covers, and gets a LONG 2 count. Way too long this early in the match as a matter of fact. Darling slowly pulls Poe up, and locks him in if going for a DDT. Nope, it's a ROLL OF THE DICE (a.k.a. The Generic Finisher that people without finishers use), and it just flattens Poe. Another cover from Darling, and it's another VERY long 2 count, as Poe is just barely able to roll the shoulder. Darling pulls Poe up again, and kicks him in the gut, doubling him over. Darling hits an AXE KICK to the back of Poe's neck! Darling covers again; and Hightower notices at the very last instant that Poe has his foot on the rope. Darling is visibly frustrated, and heads to the top rope. He's about to take off, but is able to hold up as he sees Poe roll out to the floor in a great display of control. Poe gets to his feet outside, and Darling LEVELS him with a TOPE CON HILO FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE! In other promotions, we'd take this opportunity to go to commercial; but THIS IS THE OOWF!
Darling is up first, and is just stomping away on Poe, focusing mainly on the neck region. Poe ends up over near the Steel Steps and he groggily tries to get to his feet. Darling runs up and hits a HURRICARANA which plants Poe's head RIGHT ONTO THE STEEL STEPS! Poe looks dead, and Darling starts posing and talking smack; the crowd is not ok with this. Darling slides into the ring, and instructs Hightower to begin a count. He obliges, and Darling goes to the top of the far turnbuckle to make the “me wanty belt” gesture. Well, who doesn't, right? Hightower is all the way up to 7 before Poe can even get to his knees; and it doesn't appear he really knows where he is right now. At 8, he crawls over near the apron; and Darling (mid-pose) can sense what's going on by the crowd reaction (stupid crowd). Darling flies across the ring and tries a Baseball Slide to keep Poe out of the ring; but Poe sidesteps and slides INTO the ring. Darling lands on his feet outside, and quickly bounds back into the ring, but is met with a HIEROGLYPH! Poe caught Darling square, and he went down like Samantha at a Pharmacy. Both men are down, and Hightower starts counting again.
Both get to their wobbly feet at about 6, but its Poe who makes the first move, and DIVES across the ring, leveling Darling with a Clothesline. Quick Scoop Slam from Poe, and then he follows that up with a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! Poe bridges out, and gets a 2 count before Darling kicks out hard. Poe tries to follow up, but Darling catches him, gets him up a bit, and hits a SLINGSHOT BRAINBUSTER! Darling shakes out the cobwebs as Poe lays motionless in the ring. Darling rolls Poe over, and gets him in a Surfboard Hold. You know what's coming next...MOTHERFUCKING CURBSTOMP! Darling signals for Dark Darling Rising and sprints to the top rope! He sprints to the top rope, and takes off for the PHOENIX SPLASH...and EATS CANVAS! Poe is just able to escape as Darling crashes and burns. Now it's Poe up first, and he grabs Darling like a rag doll, and WHIPS him into the corner, following him in for a HUGE SPLASH! Big HIP TOSS as Darling stumbles out of the corner, and Poe follows that up immediately with a huge boot to the back of the head. Darling looks looped. Poe covers, but Darling escapes at 2. Poe pulls Darling up, and TOSSES him into the corner. Poe charges for a splash, but is BACK BODY DROPPED to the outside over the turnbuckle all the way to the floor, and he landed badly. Darling takes a few seconds to gather himself, and looks at first like he wants to try something high-risk. However, he spots a concerned looking Selena going over toward Poe, and Darling simply jumps out of the ring, and lands on his feet in front of her. He's saying something to her and looking at her menacingly. Selena appears to say something like “that's inappropriate” as she tries to back away. Darling continues to advance on her, so he doesn't see Poe hitting a BULLDOG on him onto the floor.
Quickly, he bundles Darling into the ring and gives chase. He pulls Darling up and hits an OBELISK. It looks like he's going to cover, but instead he pulls Darling up, and whips him to the ropes. He catches Darling with a HIEROGLYPH coming of the ropes! Darling looks finished. Poe pulls Darling up, and hits THE PENDULUM! That's gotta be it. But Poe looks SEVERELY pissed off, and isn't done yet. Poe signals to the crowd, and gets Darling in position for the CRUCIFIXION! He gets him up...and Darling SLIDES OUT THE BACK DOOR, AND FLOATS INTO AN ANKLE LOCK! Darling is glassy-eyed, and barely looks conscious, but he's got the leg GRAPEVINED and seems to have the hold in securely. Poe is in HUGE trouble here, with the mixture of pain from the hold, and the shock from what's just happened. Poe looks like he's fading, and is about to tap; but he Poe's Up again, and makes a desperate dive for the ropes, and just does get there by a fingertip. Darling makes full use of the 5-count before breaking the hold. Poe pulls himself up by the ropes, as Darling shakes out the cobwebs again. Darling charges across the ring and DIVES at Poe, but POE CATCHES HIM IN MIDAIR! He's got Darling on his shoulder, and HITS THE CRUCIFIXION! Good night everybody, drive home safely!
WINNER in 14:59 by PINFALL...Poe!
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