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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:20:01 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Springfield, Idaho
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u] Poe vs. Alexander Darling
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u] Tytan vs. Chris Cole
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u] The Team From Down Under vs. kz
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u] Matte vs. Chris Evans
Winner Gets an Onslaught Title Shot[/u] Thim Reynolds vs. Spin Hansen vs. Seamus McNasty vs. DH Magnusson
Davin Moreland vs. Bryce Larson The Amnesiac vs. Concrete TG IHOP vs. Blitz & Nayr Firewoman vs. Stank vs. The Dead
Card subject to potato famine
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:20:22 GMT -5
*Immediately after the show, Davin Moreland is BARGING~! Into GM the Rick's office immediately following Mayhem*
DM: Did you see that bullshit Rick?
GmtR: I saw, I saw.
DM: You saw...HE DAMN NEAR KILLED ME OUT THERE!
GmtR: Is that why the match sucked?
DM: No Rick. The match sucked because one of your performers can't hit the simplest of moves.
GmtR: I've never had a problem with you botching moves before.
DM: *glares* So help me Rick, I'll break your fucking neck right now. I am NOT fucking around. It's one thing to put me out with a jobber, ok? But at least a jobber isn't trying to kill me! Hell, I felt safer Diamond Cutting Stank 30-feet from the top of the Jumbotron than I did tonight. Despite my past differences with Stank, he would never cross that line in the ring. But tonight, for the first time as a professional, I felt like my life was in danger if I were to let that backyard wrestler try to hit anymore moves. He fucked up a KNEE TO THE MIDSECTION for God's sake.
*Fall River's Own Referee Angelo Barros bursts into the room*
FRORAB: Boss, I really need to talk to...oh good Davin, you're here.
DM: Hey Angelo, thanks for your help out there...I was just...
FRORAB: I saw. I saw all of it. Rick? When do we let untrained rank amateurs get in the ring here at OOWF? That was just atrocious! That Larson really could have hurt Davin...like REALLY hurt him, not just regular Crazy Davin Hurt.
GmtR: I just don't understand what happened. I mean, he hasn't seemed to have a real problem with anyone else so far. I mean, maybe he's nervous being in with a main eventer? I scoured through this guy's tapes from the indies and I see nothing but a quality worker. I have to think it was a one-time thing.
DM: Rick. Listen. Even when I was in the ring soused I never botched moves like this guy. I dunno about all these tapes from the bingo halls, but isn't it possible these guys were just laying down for him? Or maybe they went move by move and orchestrated everything? I dunno.
GmtR: Would you be willing to do that?
DM: Fuck you. I can say to Cole before a match “15 minutes, double reverse spot diamond cutter finish”, and we'll go put on a ***** match. LD! Hell POE! Stank! Even MOOSE! This isn't a question of preparation, this is a question of competence. So FUCK NO I'm not willing to do that. I shouldn't have to.
GmtR: *sigh* What do you want Davin? What do you want me to do?
DM: What do I want? I want you to get him the hell out of OOWF so that he can't hurt me or anyone else here ever again.
GmtR: C'Mon, you're overreacting. I mean, all signs point to this being a one-time issue.
FRORAB: You'd better hope it's just one time, Rick. That Larson guy isn't going to break anyone's neck on my watch because he can't hit a German or a Superkick without clocking the guy in the jaw.
GmtR: Speaking of, Davin, you were really punching him at the end?
DM: Yeah. It was self-defense at that point. I didn't know what he was doing next. Some fucking technician. You know, this new guy comes in here talking this whole game, wants to do an angle with me...
*Kayfabe lurks in the corner*
DM: You know me Rick, I've always helped push the new kids; so I thought I'd give him a little of the Moreland Rub and let him lose a tag match with me or something. But no, this guy punks ME out to join what's left of your Guild of Buddies, Rick...
GmtR: I'm neutral when it comes to...
DM: Fuck off. You're not. Anyway, then you give me the match tonight, so now I gotta show ass all week and tonight so I don't kill this guy's push. I guess he's still trying to get over as a face. Again, Rick, that's me; you know that I'm pretty easygoing when it comes to this stuff. But this? Tonight? I WILL NOT stand for this. I WILL NOT put my health at risk so new guy du-jour can get a rub. No sir. You want to talk to him? Fine. But I'm going to need ASSURANCES if I'm ever going to get in the ring with him again. Are we clear Rick?
GmtR: Listen, Davin, I know you're mad and shaken up...
DM: *grabs Rick by the collar, and speaks through gritted teeth* Are. We. Clear?
GmtR: I'll talk to him. Now GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!
FRORAB: Rick, he's not fucking around. And to be honest, I'm not either. And I can parade 20 people in the locker room saying the same thing. Fix it.
*Rick pours himself some JW and sighs*
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:20:42 GMT -5
*The Aussies are pacing like caged animals when Scheme Gene appears*
SG: Well...
*Jack rips the mic from his hands*
J: You want an exclusive, Gene?
*SG nods*
J: Here's an exclusive for ya, Gene! Gator and I want to apologize to Thim Reynolds.
G: It's true.
J: We were so focused on KZ we didn't give proper attention to our partner.
G: And he is a damn tough son of a bitch, not that I'm telling you anything anyone didn't already know. He kicked ass as usual.
J: So we will dedicate this week's match to Thim.
G: And Wally will fix him up with some massage therapists, on our account!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:21:01 GMT -5
<Moose and LD are sitting in the kz locker room celebrating when SFJ13 comes up to them>
SFJ13: Moose, can I get your thoughts.....
<Moose snatches the mic and shoos SFJ13 away, Moose glares at the camera, blood still running down his face. He stares a little too long, until things start to become a little uncomfortable. Then Moose slowly points to his bloody forehead>
MHJ: Aussies..........you see this? You see this blood spilled? This.......this is just the tip of the iceberg. This is just the beginning. You wanna know what this showed me? You two can't cut it. You two are not tough enough to hang with kz. Blood was spilled, bones were damn near broken, and you.........you two lost. The next time we face one another, those titles are coming to kz.
LD: You know boys, from all the talk you like to talk, I was really expecting something more. I had heard about this legendary Empty Team, I kept hearing that you were going to do this and that, and just like the rest of Drink and Destroy, you two came up short.
The end is near, and before this is all over? You may not trust us, but you damn sure will fear us.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:21:20 GMT -5
At the nearest hospital, Poe is sitting in the hospital bed with his arms resting on his knees. Selena is pacing in front of the bed.
Poe: Goddess...please stop pacing.
SG: I...I can't believe it. You...you tapped.
Poe snarls at the thought, but then calms.
Poe: Live to fight another day. The Boy was like a rabid raccoon. I would have had to literally kill him to have him stay down.
SG: But...now he has another World Title shot.
Poe: Different agenda this time. I WILL kill him to beat him this time.
Selena grins.
SG: Promise?
Poe returns the wicked grin.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:21:37 GMT -5
*SFJ#13 is wandering down the hall looking dejected. She happens by the Destroyitarium, looks up at the door, shrugs, then enters. Destroyitarium staff are milling about, setting things up inside. Spin Hansen is sitting over by the bar. Stank with his back turned occupies a nearby booth, nursing a beer. SFJ#13 walks over to the booth and sits across from Stank.*
SFJ#13 - Drink and Destroy have run-
Stank - AREN'T you Moose's interviewer?
SFJ#13 - He didn't feel like answering any questions.
Stank - He doesn't feel like doing much of anything lately, other than causing as much havoc as possible.
SFJ#13 - About that-
Stank - LOOK! Moose, and LD for that matter, can both kiss my black ass! Empty Team can more than handle those two. I'm tired of being distracted by them. I won the fucking Invitational. What I should be doing is fighting for the OOWF World Title... not fucking around with that psycho Moosehead Jack and the oversensitive and seriously deluded LD Williams. But no... Moose and his gang want to start shit with Drink & Destroy. Everyone wants to make a statement at Drink & Destroy's expense. There was Run DEA and now there's Moose and the Moosette's. Well let me tell you something, girlie. I don't care what the odds are. I don't care how many come against us... WE are fucking Drink & Destroy DAMN IT! We don't come up short! We fuck you up! We have persevered through everything this company has thrown at us and we will continue to do so. Don't fucking talk to me about Moose or any of his lot... unless we're talking about a World Title match against Poe.
SFJ#13 - Okay... care to comment on your match with The Dead and Firewoman?
Stank - Now is my chance to make a statement of my own and unfortunately it will have to be at the expense of my opponents. The Dead beat me last time we fought. I underestimated him. I made a mistake. Mistakes happen and they cost you. The true measure of a man is how he responds to those mistakes. I have new resolve. Next time Dead and I fight, it will be different... and I don't mean solely because Firewoman will be in there with us. What can I say about Fire? She's Run DEA. Last I checked, Run DEA are still the enemy. So I suspect she will be punished for their sins. I'm not naive enough to state she won't be tough to handle. I will be that much tougher to handle my damn self. I plan on dominating that match. I plan on reminding the world why I was the longest reigning OOWF World Champion and afterward you will know... just like everyone else... I am Drink and Destroy and those two... are fucked.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:21:56 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is WATCHING~! Stank's promo on his Sprint PCS Phone and decides to start talking to himself*
DM: Stank...Stank is too focused on past things. Stank should take a step back and look at the landsape and reality around Stank...Moosehead Jack is on a mission, a path of destruction that won't stop until someone stops Moosehead Jack. Stank and Davin Moreland and all of OOWF have seen this before. Davin Moreland wants to offer Stank a few words of wisdom. Davin Moreland understands that Stank probably doesn't give two shits what Davin Moreland has to say, but remember, Davin Moreland is an intuitive man. Davin Moreland is a wise man.
DM: Stank? Sometimes, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Just keep that in mind, Champ.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:22:17 GMT -5
*Fade in* as Bryce Larson is SITTING~! in The Heroes Guild locker room, and his cell phone rings.
BL: [Bryce answers his cell phone] Hello ...... Um, hey, Paul ...... You saw that shit?! ...... No, no, wait. It's not like that at all ...... No ...... No ...... NO! Listen to me ...... Yeah, just listen to me ...... That fucker's doing it on purpose, I swear ...... No, he knew that suplex was coming, we planned it before he threw me over the top ...... No! ...... No, my own foot hurts after that superkick. I was shocked, it was like he leaned in to it ...... I have no clue ...... Yeah, I saw that ...... Maybe ...... Yeah, I know, I figured he'd just beat the living shit out of me--which he did after the match--but this is worse ...... Yeah, I'd love some revenge, but right now he's the last guy I want to face next week ...... What am I going to do? Talk to GM The Rick, I guess ...... Yeah, but Erlana gave me her number ...... [batistalaughs] She was damn good, too! ...... Hopefully I won't need you to, but I appreciate it ...... I haven't talked to any of the Guild about it yet, I have no idea what they think ...... I hope so ...... alright, thanks Paul. [Bryce hangs up]
Nayr and Concrete TG walk into the locker room.
N: What the hell happened to you out there?
BL: Not now, midget.
CTG: Citizen Bulletproof, please tell me you were the victim of a blinded drugging, hypnotic trance, or...or...alien abduction!
BL: Or he's messing with me?
CTG: Or he's messing with you?
N: Really? I just figured he was going to beat the crap out of you.
BL: I know, me too. This is far worse. I've never hurt anyone in the ring. Hell, after Evans and I went Broadway, he told me I was the safest guy he's worked with. This shit's insane.
CTG: Obviously, Davin Moreland is executing an elaborate evil plan against you.
N: Yeah! We need to bring him to justice.
BL: No, I need to bring him to justice. I just have no idea how.
*Fade out*
Then *fade back in* when Bryce starts talking again.
BL: Wait, you fuckers thought I really botched that shit!
N: Well, I mean, Davin's a three time World Cham--
BL: DON'T EVER DOUBT MY ABILITIES IN THE RING! I'M BRYCE FUCKING LARSON!
CTG: Citizen Larson, calm down. This is what he wants you to do!
BL: CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN! FUCK YOU! I AM NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN![Bryce throws a chair, turns over a table, then finally sits down in a chair.]
N: Dude...
BL: What the fuck am I supposed to do!? Huh? What if The Rick buys this shit? I'm finished! Davin's the man around here. He puts more asses in the seats than I do--
CTG: Yeah, but you're developing a big fan base...
N: And your merch is selling...
BL: But I'm still low on the list...definitely lower than Davin. And he's a heel!
CTG: Bryce, this is absurd. We can't let--
N: Goddammit, you're my fucking partner! I went through physical, mental, and emotional hell trying to make our partnership work! Hell if I'm going to let this asshole do this to me partner!
With that, Nayr shockingly leaves the locker room. Bryce and CTG look at each other, completely shocked.
BL: What the fuck is he doing? WHERE THE FUCK IS HE GOING!?
CTG: I have a feeling Citizen Paladin is going after Mr. Moreland. You know, the kind of irrational behavior usually reserved...for you.
BL: Ah shit, I sure hope he doesn't find Davin.
CTG: I concur. But while I'm shocked at his decision to go--not to mention his choice of language--I'm proud to see the moxie he showed. He never took action like that before teaming with you. [CTG starts texting.]
BL: Should we go after him?
CTG: He'd be expecting us. I'm texting Wrath now.
BL: [Dropping his head into his hands] Fuck...
*Fade out...for real this time*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:22:37 GMT -5
*Stank is sitting over by the bar with Spin Hansen having mulled over Davin Moreland's comments.*
Stank - Ain't that some shit?
SH - I know.
Stank - Moreland must think I'm stupid.
SH - That is on record.
Stank - Right. Does he seriously believe I haven't seen the whole picture? I saw this shit coming months ago, back when their precious Alexis Darling came in here drowing her sorrows, and Run DEA was on the verge of collapse. I knew the landscape was changing... I said as much. We were in a good position. Drink & Destroy had the World Championship and the Tag Team Championships in our possesion. The only mistake I made was-
SH - DH Maggnusson
Stank - Oh fuck. You had to go and remind me of THAT shit. No. I was going to say-
SH - LD Williams...
Stank - Exactly... I thought he was made of sterner stuff. He gets his feelings hurt over a percieved slight... and busts this thing wide open. DH leaving us hurt. That I didn't see coming... but LD...
SH - I say good riddance... fuck them both.
Stank - Can you believe Moreland and his "enemy of my enemy..." shit?
SH - Like that couldn't go either way.
Stank - Damn right. He could ally himself with Moose just as easily as he could me and that line would still apply... matter of fact... I'd say he'd more LIKELY ally himself with Moose over me, given our history.
SH - Don't tell me you would even consider an alliance with Run DEA.
Stank - Hell no... though... when Alexis was over here a while back...
SH - What? Wait... you never did tell us what you said to her. I saw the transcripts of your conversation.
Stank - Transcripts?
SH - Yeah. Scheme Gene posts them on his blog site every now and then.
Stank - The fuck?
SH - Never mind that. You told Alexis the offer still stands. What the hell was that about?
Stank - Nothing as it turns out... nothing at all.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:22:56 GMT -5
Firewoman is STORMING~! down the hall when she reaches the Hero's Guild locker room. She busts in, without knocking.
Damon Wrath: Whoa! It's a gi--
FW: A what? Go ahead...finish it.
DW: I.... Uh....
CTG: Citizen Fire. I do not wish for a repeat of the hostilities that got us all in trouble in Columbus. You are not welcome here, and you need to--
FW: Shut the fuck up. Where is he?
CTG: Such language from a lady--
DW: Wait, shut up AND answer your question? That is illogical.
FW: Cut the smart ass, Spock, and tell me where you partner is.
BL: (coming out of another room) What the hell do you want?
Firewoman launches herself at him and gets her hand on his throat, pinning him against the closest available wall.
DW and CTG: Hey!
FW: What the fuck was that? King of the Indies? Please. You know what we do in the indies to people who are completely out of their league and botch moves like you just did? Do you think this is a joke? A game? Have you never seen wrestlinggonewrong.com? This isn't child's play, Small Town, this is serious. People have gotten hurt and some even died because of bullshit like that.
Kayfabe pokes her head in the door, but Firewoman glares at her
FW: Get out of here, bitch, this doesn't concern you. Unless you want it to.
Kayfabe shrugs at Larson, and beats a hasty retreat.
BL: *gurgle....choke*
FW: You wanna shoot wrestle? You wanna practice moves at show time? You're lucky to be alive, and that Davin didn't put you in your place. Because I would have, and you wouldn't be standing here, having this pleasant conversation, right now. Davin Moreland is FAMILY, you hear that? If he doesn't want to dirty his hands with your blood, that's fine, but I'm not so delicate...
At this point, Gryffon and Wrath have heard enough. Wrath grabs a steel chair and smacks Firewoman across the back with it. She releases her hold as Larson slides to the floor. Crete grabs Firewoman by the arms to get her in position for the Cement Mixer, but he doesn't hit it yet.
CTG: CITIZEN FIRE! I implore you to control your rage! Larson is a talented wrestler, and I think you should look to your own partner for--
But he can't finish because at that point Larson has recovered and lands a good stiff kick to Firewoman's midsection. Her knees buckle, and Gryffon lets go, as she falls the floor. Larson follows up with a couple of boots. Firewoman is able to back away and stands up to face him.
CTG: Bryce...hold. Firewoman....leave now, or I will not be responsible for what happens.
FW: No, you never are, are you?
Firewoman turns to go out the door, and Wrath "helps" her out with another crack with the chair. The door slams behind her, as she "sits"...kind of... on the floor outside the room.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:23:19 GMT -5
*Smash cut* to Nayr RUNNING~! down the hallway to the Run DEA suites, sponsored by Aquafina. Nayr opens the door (it was unlocked?) and storms to Davin Moreland's suite.
N: Davin! What the hell do you think you're doing!? That's my fucking partner!
SD: Who the hell do you think--
DM: Davin Moreland will take care of Nayr the Midget's line of questioning, Samantha Darling.
N: Well?!
DM: Davin Moreland is a world class athlete. Davin Moreland's reputation precedes Davin Moreland wherever Davin Moreland goes. Davin Moreland was shocked and appalled at Indy Wanker Bryce Larson's actions Wednesday night.
N: Bryce is a safe worker. Bryce is a great worker! We went to two overtimes, and had the match of our lives. He always delivers!
DM: Wednesday night, Bryce Larson delivered. Bryce Larson delivered a performance that could have killed Davin Moreland. Bryce Larson should have his license to wrestle revoked.
N: I know what you're trying to do, and it's working. Bryce is going insane over this.
DM: That is Nayr the Midget Paladin's choice not to believe Davin Moreland. Bryce Larson is going insane? Bryce Larson should be going to wrestling school. Davin Moreland will try to keep this civil with Nayr the Midget Paladin. Davin Moreland is giving Nayr the Midget Paladin the opportunity to leave unscathed, if Nayr the Midget Paladin does so right now.
N: Fuck that!
That said, Nayr lunges at Davin, and KICKS HIM SQUARE IN THE FACE. Davin gets back up, and Nayr dives head first at Davin...which proves to be a mistake as Davin catches Nayr and drops him with an ABSOLUTELY GREAT DIAMOND CUTTER!
DM: Davin Moreland was trying to avoid a backstage fight. Samantha Darling, please call Overpriced Housekeeping and have them take out Davin Moreland's trash.
*Fade out*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:23:38 GMT -5
(Tytan sits alone in the Ultimo Inc. locker room. He has sent everyone out to deliver a new message.)
Tytan: Fire I hope you enjoy the broken nose that I gave you. You see revenge can come in many different forms. Some in the form of a broken nose. Some in the way of an oppertunity. Cole now I have a shot to destroy you one on one. This will be something I really will enjoy.
There are some others that have once again stuck their nose into business where it doesn't belong. So now, you sit back and wonder what is he going to do next. It's simple. Ultimo Inc and a long list of supplies as well as a long list of friends so I would simply watch around every corner. And watch the shadows because your Ultimo ending will come sooner then later.
And remeber this is all just business.
(Fade)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:23:56 GMT -5
Chris Evans is WALKING toward the Run DEA locker room clutching his head when he’s stopped by his SFJ.
SFJ: Hey Lionheart, how are you feeling after your match?
E: Well, let’s see. I just brawled and played dueling chairs with The Dead. Yeah, I’m fucking thrilled right now.
Evans grabs his head again.
Ah fuck, you got some Excedrin on you or something?
SFJ: Sorry.
E: Well then, let’s make this quick. My head is throbbing right now.
SFJ: I’ll try. You saw what Bryce did to Davin Moreland this week. What are your thoughts?
E: I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but for right now, I’m actually gonna give Bryce the benefit of the doubt. Don't get me wrong, I’m not in any way condoning what he did to a possible future partner, hell no. But for right now I’m gonna just chalk it up to main event jitters, cause I know firsthand what he’s capable of, and the Bryce Larson I saw tonight wasn’t the same Bryce Larson I faced two weeks ago. But if he does it again next week against Davin though, I’m not gonna feel the same way cause there’s absolutely no excuse for botching moves two matches in a row.
SFJ: Well then, what are thoughts concerning next week’s Onslaught championship matchup with Matte?
E: Well, I know he’s doesn't seem like much at first glance, but I know that Matte’s a pretty dangerous competitor. He’s sloppy, he’s hardcore, and he doesn’t even seem to care if he takes himself out in the process. He’s basically the Bizarro version of myself. I’m gonna need to prepare for him more than pretty much every other wrestler here. In the end though, I still feel that I can take him. Also….
*Evans points to his OOWF DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal title*
I think that belt would go pretty nice with this bad boy right here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna pop some Excedrin and go relax in the hot tub. Later.
*fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:24:14 GMT -5
**Matte walks out of the bathroom and is probably heading for his hallway when he's stopped by an SFJ.**
SFJ: Matte, may I have a moment?
Matte: Mm. Yea, sure. What's up?
SFJ: Well first of all, congratulations on winning the Onslaught title from DH.
Matte: Mhm, thanks.
SFJ: You must feel like you're on top of the world after that, huh?
Matte: Uh, I don't know. Not really. I mean I just took a shit and smoked a blunt in a public bathroom and now I'm going to lay down and sleep in the middle of an arena hallway. I'm not saying the belt doesn't mean anything; I'm just saying like I'm still me, ya know?
SFJ: Yea, I get you. How do you feel heading into this match with Evans next week? Think you can retain against him?
Matte: Well I hope so. He's brutal, I'm brutal. We'll fight it out and see what happens.
SFJ: Nice neutral response, Matte. Any plans on maybe turning sometime soon?
Matte: Um, nah. I just kinda go with whatever happens. Face, heel; doesn't really mean much to me at this point.
SFJ: Well the fans seem to enjoy you a good bit, for what that's worth.
Matte: It's worth a little, yea.
SFJ: Well good luck next week. I'll see you later.
Matte: Thanks, see ya.
**Matte walks, SFJ walks, fade.**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:24:34 GMT -5
Chris Evans is seen WALKING down the hallway. He sees Firewoman, who is more pissed off than usual.
Evans: Fire, what the fuck happened to you?
Fire: Not now Cubbie.
E: Well, can’t I do something?
F: You can get the fuck out of my way right now.
E: What the hell’s with you?
Fire grabs Evans by the shirt and slams him into the wall.
F: What the hell is my problem? I should be asking you that question right now. Thats right, I heard what you said. You actually defended Bryce for botching his moves and nearly injuring Davin!
E: Look, I didn’t mean it like…
F: Just shut your fucking mouth! You know, maybe I was wrong. Maybe you’re not cut out to be part of our group.
E: Okay, so I dropped the ball and defended Bryce. Besides, I said this was for now and that if he does it again, no more defending...ever. There no need to rip my fucking head off.
Fire drops Evans and clutches her back.
E: Fire, you alright? Tytan do this to you?
F: Oh, it was nothing important. I WAS JUST GETTING MY ASS BEAT BY YOUR LITTLE FRIEND BRYCE AND HIS GUILD FOR TRYING TO DEFEND DAVIN!
Evans’ face becomes red with anger. Evans now has a pissed-off face of his own.
E: That fucking piece of shit! He attacked you for that? He’s not gonna get away with this!
F: Really? And what the fuck are you gonna do about it?
E: Oh you’ll see. I’ve already got a bit of a problem with Blitz, something that I would usually brush off. But this...this just got personal now. Bryce’s abilities, his talents. It means jackshit to me now. Bryce and his little geek squad laid his hands on a partner, and he’s gonna pay for it…with their blood!
Fire no longer seems pissed. Well, maybe still a little bit. I mean, this is Firewoman we’re talking about here. In fact, she has, dare I say, a bit of a smile now.
F: Now that’s the fire you need Cubby. I guess I’ll let this slide for now, but you’re on notice for right now. So just follow us, do what we do, and maybe, just maybe, you might get back into our good graces.
E: Can do. Now, I need to take a walk.
F: Now where the hell are you going?
E: I need to go talk to someone about this. I’ll be back soon.
*fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:24:53 GMT -5
*The Aussies join Spin and Stank*
Jack: I heard what you said about Davin. Couldn't agree more.
Gator: True, but there is something to the enemy of my enemy concept.
Stank: You don't know Davin and his crew like we do.
Gator: I wasn't talking about them. I was talking about the Heroes.
Spin: How many chair shots to the head have you taken lately?
Stank: I assume you're joking, right?
Gator: Look, IHOP has some talent, but not as much as the Guild now that Larson's back with them.
Stank: Are you forgetting who's in charge of those assclowns?
Gator: A guy who's not afraid of Moose or Davin, not that I'm telling you anything you don't already know.
Jack (belches); Australian for he's got a point, I guess.
Stank: I'm getting sick just thinking about it.
Spin: I do agree with the part about how we should look for guys who won't be intimidated.
Jack: Not many of them left. Thim fits the bill. Back in the day Cole did, but lately he seems really quiet.
Spin: There are a few other guys we might consider.
Stank: True, but not the Heroes!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:25:16 GMT -5
[The Dead is standing in the middle of the ring at an empty OOWF arena.]
Dead: In the few short hours since this week's card has been posted, we heard quite a lot from The Dead's opponents. Stank seems more concerned with Moose and re-starting a war that should have been over a long time ago, and Fire is too busy tending to Davin Moreland's needs to even mention me. How quickly memories fade...
Stank, I beat you last week. You're a hell of a competitor, but if you're more concerned with Moose and LD and DH than you are with what actually happens in the ring, I can guarantee a repeat performance.
Fire, we have history. Everyone knows that. While I guess it seems noble in some weird way to be defending Davin's honor [The Dead smiles] you had better get ready for a damn fight. Stank, Fire, The Dead. It's gonna be a fucking war, and you need to stop trying to tie up your little group's loose ends and start focusing on, you know, wrestling.
And last, but certainly not least, to my growing number of fans: Thank you. You've made my return to OOWF better than I could have expected. Get ready to cheer next week as I Close the Casket on Stank and Fire.
[The Dead smiles, then drops the mic and heads out of the ring as the camera fades to black.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:25:39 GMT -5
(There is a POLITE KNOCK~! on the Heroes' Guild door)
Damon Wrath: Fire?
CTG: Citizen Wrath, should she want to be in here, she would have kicked that door open. (approaches the door cautiously) Who is it?
??: (thick latino accent) overpriced housekeeping from Run DEA. I have something of yours.
CTG: (opens the door) Someth-
(in the hallway is a heavyset woman in hotel housekeeping clothes, holding Nayr up by the back of his "Excalibur" T-shirt)
CTG: PALADIN!
Nayr: (dazed) duuuuuuude
Bryce Larson: Crap, you DID go see Davin, didn't you?
CTG: (gathers Nayr) Thank you, I'm afraid a gratuity will not be offered.
Housekeeper: Geek.
BL: (slams the door) You got guts, Nayr.
CTG: Citizen Wrath, please bring Paladin some Mountain Dew Code Red so he can recover his faculties.
DW: Right (digs a dollar out of his gear and hurries out)
CTG: Paladin, your actions are noble but foolhardy for attacking Run DEA alone.
BL: (shaking head) dammit.....
CTG: Citizen Bulletproof, do not be troubled by these actions, nor the incident in your last match. This is merely their plan to unleash the vigilante side that the Guild does sorely lack. When Citizen Flame [Firechild] was with us, he was the Wolverine to our X-men. I have no doubt that you will be capable of filling those shoes.
BL: Dammit, it was an accident
CTG: And accidents do happen. Davin Moreland, sadly, was planned.
BL: (smirks)
DW: (hurries back into the locker room with a 20oz of Mountain Dew Code Red and hands it to Nayr)
Nayr: (sees it's already open, takes a couple of sips) man.....
CTG: Paladin. will you be able to continue our missions?
Nayr: a boot to the face and a Dav-KO isn't stopping me...... (rubs neck)
CTG: Heroes, we all have our missions. Citizen Bulletproof, I suggest you take the video room first so that you may continue to study Moreland's work. Paladin, you and Blitz will need the training area for your bout against IHOP. I have new dealings with my minor nemesis The Amnesiac, which I will simply need to monitor his whereabouts.
Blitz: or working more on your heroics?
CTG: .... that's research as well. You have training to do!
(fade)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:26:04 GMT -5
Firewoman is STANDING~! in GM the Rick's office
GMtR: ... and that is why I've given up on fining you. It doesn't work, in fact it seems to just encourage you.
FW: Good to see you're finally on board, Rick. Now about this week's card. Why the fuck does Cole get a shot at MY Intercontinental Belt.
GMtR: Technically, it's Tytan's Interconti-- You know, no, it is technically MY intercontinental belt, you all just get to trade it back and forth for the entertainment of our loyal fans. And quit changing the subject, I've made an appointment--
FW: NO. You stick me in a meaningless midcard match with Stank and the Dead, after every thing Tytan and his company has done?
GMtR: I don't think Stank and the Dead will take kindly to you calling them meaningless.
FW: THEY are not meaningless. Stank is a former World Champion, and ALMOST as good a champion Davin was. And I've been partners and enemies with the Dead. I don't need you to tell me I've got my work cut out from me. But that's not the point, Rick. The POINT is Tytan and Ultimo need to PAY. If you don't let me end it in the ring, I'll be forced to end it outside the ring.
GMtR: I'm not giving you another title shot. That ship has sailed.
FW: Fine. I'll take it without.
GMtR: Seriously?
FW: What do you think?
GMtR: ....
FW: ....
GMtR: Okay. Let me see what I can do. ONLY if you do something for me.
FW: Why Rick! What would Erlana say?
GMtR: Very funny. I need you to see this person. (He hands her a piece of paper)
FW: Doctor....huh? I don't need a doctor. My nose wasn't broken.
GMtR: It's not, uh....it's not that kind of ....
FW: Wait....it's not......
GMtR: Look, we were talking with Lance and Chris, and even Austin and they all think you could use some evalua--
FW: You talked to them all? Behind my back?
GMtR: Fire, you're lashing out without rhyme or reason, even more so than usual. SYB? What has he ever done to you? And Moose....MOOSE?
FW: I have my reasons for SYB. And Moose deserved it.
GMtR: I don't doubt it, but still. It can't hurt to just meet with this guy, once. Maybe some new meds, or hypnotherapy or something. Davin said--
FW: YOU TALKED TO DAVIN?!?! Fuck you Rick. I've been to therapists. I'm done with--
GMtR: You don't go, you're done with OOWF.
FW: .....
GMtR: Seriously. I got to think about the safety of the other performers, the staff, visitors....
One can see the rage building, and then it explodes. Firewoman reaches down and flips Rick's desk up and over, as Rick cowers in the corner. She storms out, flinging the door open, so it slams into the wall.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:26:23 GMT -5
Chris Evans is seen WALKING down the hallway of the nearby hospital to check up on Tyson Kincaid.
E: Hey Tyson
T: Oh, hey Evans. What brings you here?
E: Ah man, I’ve got a lot on my mind and I need to clear my head to someone.
T: Well why me?
E: Run DEA’s got their own problems and are too busy to listen to a newbie. And Fire…well…
T: What about her?
E: She’s got some more problems. You saw what happened in Davin’s match?
T: OF course I did. I don’t know what the hell he was on during that match.
E: Yeah. I mean, at first I defended him, but then he had to go and blame Davin for it. I checked the video again and there’s no way Davin was setting that up, even if he’s talented enough to be able to make it look that way. And of course there’s also the other thing.
T: Yeah, whats that?
E: You mean you don’t know. Fire tried to stand up for Davin and instead she got her ass handed to her by that bunch of hypocrites, the Heroes Guild.
T: Fire got hurt by them? And where the fuck were you?
E: Look, you know Fire better than I do. You know she doesn’t let anyone fight her battles for her, even though I probably should’ve gone as backup.
T: Yeah, you should have. So anyway, I saw you kicked 7 shades of shit outta Tytan and Steele. What was that about? Didn’t you just say she doesn’t want you fighting her battles for her?
E: That was just a revenge attack for trying to take me out. I’m finished with those two for right now. I’ll let Fire take care of things from now on. Right now, I’m focused on getting The Heroes Guild back for their attack on Fire.
T: Alright, I’ll give you a hand.
E: Hah, yeah right. You’re in no condition to do anything right now and you know it. Don’t worry, I can take care of this.
T: Hope so Evans. Don’t underestimate those guys.
E: Don’t worry, I won’t.
*fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:26:41 GMT -5
*SFJ#9 Walks up to Stank in the Destroyitarium.*
SFJ#9 - How do you feel about what The De-
Stank - Damn Sheryl. You're not even going to warm up to it? You're just going to come in here and ask me a question?
SFJ#9 - I uh...
Stank - I know what you were about to ask and my answer is... it would be a mistake for The Dead to think I'm not hell bent on kicking his ass at Mayhem. There will be no repeat performance on his part. Especially since they've added fire to the fuel.
SFJ#9 -
Stank - Cause... uh.. you know... Firewoman is in-
SFJ#9 - Yeah I get it. What do you have to say about Firewoman's comment?
Stank - What comment?
SFJ#9 - That you were almost as great a World Champion as Davin was.
Stank - She would say that wouldn't she? Listen it only took one long reign for me to establish my greatness. How many more reigns will it take Davin? Hell for that matter... how many reigns will it take Firewoman? Oh... that's right. She isn't interested in the World Title. Maybe she doesn't think she can win it. I'd be more willing to accept her opinion on the matter if I thought for a second she knew what she was talking about? This is the OOWF. Not some indie drama scene. We're the big leagues. It's time to let that indie petty shit go and step up, because now you're in the ring with a champion who doesn't need a belt to validate the fact. And you're facing a man who has a recent win over me. That's no small feat. Meaningless...? This match had better mean the world to you Fire. Cause any match that you're in with me... is far from meaningless.
You and Dead better prepare to get wrecked.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:26:59 GMT -5
**Moosehead Jack, Poe, L.D. Williams and Seamus McNasty are watching OOWF television.**
MHJ: <chuckling>“Stank's already looking for allies.”
SM: “It's four on four at the moment....guess they to even the odds.”
P: “The heroes guild resorting to excessive violence, Run DEA searching desperately for allies, Drink & Destroy lashing out at everyone - things cetainly have gotten interesting the last few weeks.”
**Moose looks at Williams, who smirks.**
LDW: “Told ya.”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:27:15 GMT -5
*The Aussies are at the bar of the Destroyitarium when the bartender starts waving his hand*
Gator: Down the hall to your left.
Bartender: No, I know what you guys should do to your enemies!
Jack: Let's hear it, mate.
Bartender: Kill every first-born male child!
Wally:....Too Jewish.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:28:08 GMT -5
*Run DEA Luxury Suite, Alexander’s room*
The ninja camera turns on and we Alexander lying in bed and we can not tell is he is awake or sleeping as he twists and turns in bed. There are many candles illuminating the room, but slowly one by one, as if by some unseen person in the room, the candles all begin to get blown out except for a lone one on the table closest to the bed. Alexander’s eyes open and it seems like he begins to start speaking…
Once upon a Midweek Mayhem, while I battled, beaten and bloody,
Over many a battle and curious history of violent lore,
While I rested, nearly unconscious, I remembered there was a tapping,
As if some one gently qutting, tapping in the OOWF ring.
”Tis some champion," I muttered, "tapping in my wrestling ring —
Only this, and nothing more."
Ah, distinctly I remember it was just last Wednesday,
And each former champion’s spirit fought its way through the arena.
Eagerly I wished the next Mayhem; — knowing I had become champion From my tapes devoid of history — history of the sweet Sydney —
For the rare and radiant queen whom the Master called Wyld —
Screams for me for evermore.
And the silken messy sheets rustling of each special night
Thrilled me — filled me with fantastic tremors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
“Tis some bitch entreating entrance at my luxury suite—
Some tapping champion entreating entrance at my locker room; —
This it is, and nothing more."
Presently my conviction grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Poe," said I, "you bitch, truly your championship I desire;
But the fact is I was remembering, how so cleanly you were tapping,
And so cleanly you were tapping, tapping in my wrestling ring,
That I was sure I heard you"— here I opened wide the door; ready for a fight—
But darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into that Hallway of Random Encounters peering, long I stood there wondering,
Doubting, remembering games no mortal ever dared to play before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no sign,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Poe?"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Sydney!" —
Merely this, and nothing more.
Back into the suite turning, all my bones within me hurting,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my locker room door:
Let me see, then, what game there is, and this fight to finish—
Let my be calm a moment and we can finish this now; —
'Tis just a trick and nothing more.
"
Open here I flung the door, when, with many a clink and clunk,
In there flew a stately raven of the training days of Japan;
The bird, it seemed to bow in respect; not for more than a minute;
But, with a look of my former mentor, it sat perched upon my shelf —
Perched upon the PHWF Championship Belt just next to my chamber door —
Perched, and sat, and stared, and nothing more.
Then this ebony bird mocking my history into sneering,
By the grave and teasing decorum of the looks it gave.
"Though my name be known and feared, thou," I said, "sit there perched. Dark as night, the symbolic raven wandering from the Master’s lair —
Tell me what name he gave you, why he sent you to me.” Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."
I sat and wondered how this bastard fowl heard my words so plainly,
Through its answer, I had a theory it was his Whore— little relevancy to me;
For we cannot help but agree that their relationship is creepy
Even moreso with the callings of Uncle and Mouse —
Bird or beast, whore or has-been, I wonder, who sent the bird which sat perched. With such a name as "Nevermore."
But the raven, sitting still on the championship belt, spoke only
That one word, as if that word should make me begin to fear.
Nothing further was said— nothing moved, not even a feather until it fluttered —
Till I whispered more than shouted, "other allies have tried before —
On the morrow they will suffer by my hands, as I have done before."
Then the bird said, "Nevermore."
Startled at the silence broken by a reply so clearly spoken,
"Couldn’t be," said I, "what it says is just in my head, only that and no more,
Freed from some paper master whom violence is second nature
It flew fast and followed the whisper of history, of one who left before —
To follow the flames of hope, that gold belt’s burden bore
Of 'Never — nevermore'."
But the Raven still mocking, all my transgressions to be repaid,
Straight I flung a bat, wrapped in barbwire towards the bird, and belt and shelf;
Then upon the silk sheets I lied upon, I betook myself to memories
Classy unto class, thinking about her, her name I will not say again from Japan —
What this dark, mocking, teasing, black and ominous bird of history
Meant when it said "Nevermore."
Then I sat wondering and contemplating, but no singular meaning
To that damn bird, whose black eyes now pierced into my darkest memories;
This and more I sat trying to forget, with my head laid back reclining
On the bed’s silk sheets lining that the television flicker illuminated,
But whose silk gold sheet with the television flicker illuminating,
I shall remember her name, it was, ah, nevermore!
Then I could have sworn the air grew denser, a perfume scent from an unseen source Swung by the Disciples whose strikes hit on the bruised body of The Boy.
"Damn It," I cried, "thy Master hath sent thee - by his Hel’s Circle of Disciples
Despair —delayed and drugged, from thy memories of Sydney
Painkillers, oh sweet relief this kind pill and forget the lost Wyld!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."
"BIRD!" said I, "reminder of the past! — memory still, if bird or devil! —
Whether Master sent, or whether Master lost thee here,
Alone yet allied, in this luxury suite I sit, never knowing —
Is this home by horrors exhibited in Japan— tell me please, I beg of thee —
Is there - is there something to be forgiven and fotgotten? — tell me — tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."
"RAVEN!" said I, "reminder of sins - memory still, if bird or devil!
By my Heaven that bends above us - by your Gods we both prayed to – Tell this soul with sins committed if, within the distant Temples,
It shall grab a beautiful woman, whom the Master called Queen Lenore-
Such a sexy and beautiful woman, whom I called My Sydney Wyld."
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."
"Keep saying that word but be gone, bird or fiend," I yelled, rising —
"Get thee back into the Master’s Lair and the Circle of Hel!
Leave no signs that you were hereof that lie thy memories hath spoken!
Leave my future unbroken!— off the championship that hangs above my door!
Take thy dark eyes away from my bruises, inside and out, and leave my suite!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."
And the Raven, never moving, still sitting, still fucking sitting
On the PHWF Championship Belt just above my chamber door;
And his eyes keep staring seeming of a Darling that is dreaming,
And the television flicker illuminates him streaming, his shadow on the floor;
And my memories come from out that shadow that lies lingering in the darkness Shall be lifted — nevermore!
With a shiver, Alexander Darling wakes up from a restless slumber and the sweat drips down his face, illuminated only by the candles in the room. He is pale and has a look of dread on his face. He reaches down to the floor and picks up a discarded t-shirt and wipes the sweat off his face and he takes a quick look around the room to make sure that was just a dream. He turns towards the television which is replaying last week’s Mayhem match with Poe on an endless loop. He takes a deep breath and speaks in a soft whisper,
Alexander: Now you know Japan wasn’t a fluke. This Wednesday, I put the legend down for good. Your new allies won’t be able to save your. Your old allies know better than to get in my way. It’s just you and I Poe. Maybe after this win, I will prove I am no longer a boy, let alone The Boy.
Alexander leans out and blows out the lone flickering candle. And in the darkness of the room, we hear…
Quoth the Darling, BOOYAH, Bitch.
MTA: The poem is of course, Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" changed to fit the current story as best as possible.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 28, 2009 21:28:50 GMT -5
[Attitude Adjuster is standing outside what appears to be a large furniture store, talking to his bookie on the cell phone, when Johnny Adrenaline walks up.]
AA: Yeah, that's A&M and the points, Texas and the points, and the UNC/LSU over. Good. [click]
JA: What's goin on?
AA: About time you got back, you almost missed our shoot.
JA: We're doing a shoot video? Hell yes!
AA: No, not a shoot video - though that's an EXCELLENT idea - our commercial shoot.
JA: Oh yeah... right. What's this place again?
AA: PLUNDER WAREHOUSE!! The one stop shop for all your hardcore wrestling necessities! Dusty Rhodes was here earlier.
JA: The American Dream? The Common Man??
AA: Yeah, you missed him. He cut a promo on the cashier guy in there... funky like a monkey and all that shit. It was great.
JA: Did you take notes?
AA: Psssh... he asked me for my autograph. So... how was Dallas?
JA: The DART is a piece of shit. Did you know it doesn't drop off at the Sportatorium anymore??
AA: What?? THE AUDACITY!!
JA: They said the Sportatorium was torn down. They obviously don't know their shit - we were just there a few months back, we sold that son of a bitch out.
AA: Three nights straight. You could've called us Alan and Johnny Von Erich.
JA: Hey, that's not a bad idea. We can claim to be the grandchildren of Fritz Von Erich. We could put Dallas back on the wrestling map in no time.
AA: I didn't think any of the kids lived long enough to have children.
JA: Oh yeah... good point. Hey! While I was out there though, I took in a local show - saw this guy with a gimmick so ahead of its time. Or maybe behind its time. He was a babyface that actually acted like a good guy. Wouldn't cheat when presented the opportunity. Prided himself on sportsmanship and fair play. Signed something after every match and would give it to the kids in the front row. I couldn't tell what it was. Jimmy Dogwood or something.
AA: So... you're saying we can expect him to be jerking the curtain and jobbing hard on Mayhem within the next couple of months?
JA: Hey, kid had loads of potential.
AA: Oh, by the way - since our camera crew's obviously late - Rick called earlier this week.
JA: On his hands and knees begging us to come back?
AA: Well, I'm not quite sure. He mentioned something about reviewing our contracts and a time period expiring or something.
JA: Huh?
AA: Those fucking lawyers who drew the contracts up... don't know shit. Anyway, something about making a decision to renew or decline our option or something. I don't know.
JA: We're raking it in doing ads. Why would we want to go back to getting stiffed on payouts every night?
AA: Maybe the federation has the option in our deals? Hey! Invisible Ninja Cameraman, gimme my contract real quick.
[INC gives Alan his contract, though why he had it is anyone's guess.]
AA: Dammit... that line's got dried up mustard or something on it. How the hell did that happen?
JA: I have no idea.
[fade out]
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