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Post by mooseheadjack on Mar 30, 2009 9:54:31 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Springfield, California
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u] Poe vs. Stank
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u] Matte vs. Concrete TG
Non-Title OOWF Campeonas de Trios 9 Person Match[/u] IHOP vs. The Heroes Guild vs. Chris Evans, Firewoman & Alexander Darling
Steel Cage Match[/u] Thim Reynolds vs. Seamus McNasty
Retirement Match – Loser Must Retire[/u] Chris Cole vs. Davin Moreland
DH Magnusson vs. Spin Hansen Tytan vs. Zane Myers The Dead vs. Damon Wrath
Card subject to California voters bias
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:16:34 GMT -5
(Johnathan Steele stands outside of the Ultimo Inc headquarters with Lola and in the background they see Biggs tending to his security that are surrounding the building.)
Lola: All right in three..two..one.
Steele: Firewoman. This should have been a promo where we called you a worthy adversary and say talk about the war that you and Tytan had. But instead we are going to talk about how you further proved tonight that what we have called you all along you actually proved it again to be true. When you broke into the Ultimo Inc locker room you said that you wanted this match to be just about the two of you. No more run ins and hurting people that surround us. We had no choice and obliged then you turn around and bring that piece of trash Kincaid from under the ring. Thus, once again proving what we have said all along you are the trash that the pollutes this great federation. It's sad that it did take two of you two beat Tytan in what was considered your match. It proves how much of a coward you are and the fact that you couldn't finish the job. That you really aren't as much of a "Hard-ass" that you claim to be. You may have one the match but deep down Firewoman you know we one the War. You proved to the world once again what Ultimo Inc said you were all along. One big FAKE!
Lola: Any update on the condition of Tytan?
Steele: Tytan is in pretty bad shape right now. But this is nothing that Ultimo Inc. has seen before. We have fixed up people in worse shape.
(The camera pans out and sees Dr. Podvod making her way into the building.)
Lola: Was that Diana?
Steele: Yes, the time has come to let the past finally die and she is the one that can bring Tytan back to what he can be then we need her to do it.
Lola: Still how bad is he?
Steele: Tytan will be fine physically. But mentally, it may be another story. He has gone through some things that normal people would never be able to walk away from and be the same.
Lola: So what does that mean?
Steele: Mayhem. Zane you and your Zaniacs be ready because Tytan is a changed man. You and the rest of the OOWF will not be safe. The man that was once Tytan is dead. Tonight the beast that is inside will rise like the Phoenix and raise a hell that has never been seen in the OOWF. No soul is safe.
(Podvod comes running out of the building and makes a b-line to Steele.)
Podvod: You gave him Agent X?!?!?!
Steele: He did it himself. I made sure at least he did it right.
Podvod: That was not tested. He was never safe. He still might not be safe. I never got to find out what the long term affects of it was going to be.
Steele: I....I....I.
Podvod: Now we what he just went through Steele. This time you really may have created a monster.
Steele: What are we going to do?
Podvod: We need to control him now....let's go!
(The two of them head back into the building. Lola and her crew follow.)
FADE
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:16:58 GMT -5
<Moose and LD are sitting up in hospital beds, covered in bandages and dried blood, swollen all to shit, probably very lucky not to be dead. Poe, Selena and Seamus are also in the room.>
MHJ: So, the State Athletic Commission stepped in and STOPPED the match?
Seamus: Yep
LD: What a load of crap, we had 'em just where we wanted them
<Moose starts to get out of bed, very slowly. He is clearly still in a world of pain>
Selena: Uncle Moose? Umm, what are you doing?
MHJ: I am going to go find the Aussies and finish the job
Seamus: You wouldn't have to go far
LD: Oh?
Seamus: They are on another floor, all four of you got carted here
MHJ: That much easier then
<Finally Poe steps up to LD and Moose>
Poe: Gentlemen, if I may be so bold, save your energy. Rick has posted heavy security outside of both doors. No way you are getting into that room right now.
LD: Fine, we'll get them at Mayhem
S: Uh oh
MHJ: Uh oh what?
Poe:<after considering things for a moment> Rick has left you and the Aussies off the card for Mayhem. Claims you will need time to recover.
<LD and Moose's eyes burn with rage>
MHJ: That's a bunch of shit!
LD:<looking at Moose> No, wait, I think he might be right
MHJ: What?
LD: Think about it Moose, a whole extra week to decide how we are going to slaughter those Aussie jokes. Relax. It will be their funeral
<fade>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:17:18 GMT -5
(Steele and Diana are heading into Ultimo Inc's lab. when then hear a loud growl and see a Lab rat being tossed through some glass.)
Podvod: So it begins!
(They head to the area where the lab guy was thrown threw and see a bandaged and masked Tytan yelling and Security is trying to control him.)
Tytan: What is happening to me?!?!? My blood....it's on Fire....The pain....ARRRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! This room is too bright! My skin it hurts so bad!
(Steele and Podvod head into the Lab as Tytan smashes the lights making it dark.)
Podvod: It's begining. You wanted your Phoneix. This one you may not like.
Steele: A chemically enhanced Monster.
Podvod: Tytan. It's me Dr. Podvod.
Tytan: Diana...You're here...
Podvod: I am. What do you want?
Tytan: Help me....Help me.....it hurts....
(He falls to the ground and passes out from the pain.)
Podvod: (Injecting something into his neck.) Sleep my friend. I will help you get better. (To security.) Take him to the exam room and put restraints on him.
Steele: This may turn out better then I thought. A beautiful monster to control.
Podvod: You are a sick man. Can't you see he needs help?
Steele: We will help him. But he is also my property so we will help him when he does what I tell him to do?
Podvod: You would do that to him?
Steele: He may be even better now then before. Let's say he Tytan version2.0
Podvod: No wonder I hate you.
(FADE)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:17:39 GMT -5
(Spin Hansen is lying in the same hospital that KZ, Empty Team, and D.H. Magnusson are in. room. He's heavily bandaged and hooked to an IV. A Ninja Cam is focusing on him. He groans in pain.)
SH: Mother... fucker... moved Barros... *coughs*
(He weakly sits up.)
SH: Magnusson... you think... that you have... beaten me...
YOU FAILED.
I... will... end you... (he coughs again, and winces in pain)... Wednesday...
(A nurse enters. Armed guards are posted outside the door, akin to what KZ and Empty Team have outside of their rooms.)
Nurse: I'm upping your morphine drip. Go to sleep. Now you with the camera, shoo! I don't know how you keep on getting in here, but it's getting old!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:18:06 GMT -5
*FADE IN TO A RANDOM HALLWAY IN THE SPRINGFIELD, CA HOSPITAL*
<IHOP finally catches up with a limping and bow-legged SYB>
Skurge: Dude!
SYB: Oh hey. That was some match, eh? Are we ready for the Nerds and Team Booyah Bitch?
Skurge: Fuck the match, what aboot what happened after?
SYB: Oh yeah, I blacked out. It happens from time to time.
Skurge: But Dennehy and the steer…
SYB: That didn’t happen. That was totally made up by the guys in the studio, like Jesse killing Arnold in “The Running Man”.
Skurge: Dude. We all saw it happen.
SYB: You saw nothing.
The Amn: Really? Why are you walking like Norton in “American History X” then?
SYB: Because I’m cool, that’s why. Get fucked, Riddick.
The Amn: No thanks. Besides, I think you beat me to it.
Skurge: Hey Solly…
SYB: What?
Skurge: Don’t have a cow, eh?
SYB: Wow. You guys are regular fucking comedians. Anything else?
DM: Yeah… you forgot Dennehy…
SYB: ENOUGH! Nothing happened. There was no ass rape. Got it?
Skurge: Whatever you say. Now let’s get a moooove on toward OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From Springfield, California, eh?
*FADE*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:18:26 GMT -5
Chris Evans is seen talking with the other members of Run DEA in the Run DEA Locker Room and Suites, presented by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels. They’re preparing themselves for the week’s show.
Evans: HA! Man, I love it when a plan comes to fruition. I bet Tytan never thought he’d see Kincaid back in an OOWF ring again.
Fire: Gotta hand it to ya Cubby. That little idea you gave to Tyson in the hospital concerning his return worked out pretty good. Tytan’s never gonna be the same after last night. Kinda feel bad for that new guy, Zane, though. He’s gonna be the first guy that Tytan faces since what happened, and I doubt he’s gonna leave in one piece.
E: Yeah, you got that right.
Well anyway, its now time to focus on the next matter at hands: bringing gold back to Run DEA, starting with winning our trios match this week to get a shot at the Campeonas de Trios titles. I’m sure to do my part, and I know you guys are more than capable.
Alexander: Well, you’ve got part of that right kid.
E: Which part?
A: The part when you said we’re capable. So far, you haven’t really proven much.
E: The fuck are you talking about? I went 60 minutes and delivered a 5-star match with Bryce Larson. You remember Bryce Larson, don’t you Darling?
A: Eat shit and die Cubbie. And while that may be true, you may have just gotten lucky, cause so far, that’s the only thing about you that’s impressed both me and Alexis. You need to push yourself harder and deliver on that level every night, like the rest of us.
E: Yeah thanks, I’ll take it into consideration.
But anyway, as I was saying, after we take care of that, we need to make sure Davin here wins his match and stays here with us.
Davin: *batista laugh* Davin Moreland appreciates “Lionheart” Chris Evans’ concern, but Davin Moreland doesn’t need help. Davin Moreland is a 3-time OOWF World Heavyweight champion, the greatest champion in OOWF history. Davin Moreland will be damned if Davin Moreland loses to “The Lower Mid-card” Chris Cole.
E: Yeah, I know you can handle yourself just fine Davin. I just don’t wanna see another repeat of Team Aquafina. We already lost the greatest tag team in OOWF history. We can’t afford to lose the greatest wrestler in OOWF history, as well as the last surviving member of DLP.
F: He’s right Davin. We can’t afford to take a chance like that again, even if it’s someone that even the Cub can beat.
A: Yeah, and he couldn’t even do that.
E: Go fuck yourself Alex. Remember, it was Fire who discovered me, so you know I’ve gotta have something special.
A: Relax man, I’m just fucking around. As long as you follow our lead, you should do fine
E: Yeah, I know.
A: But seriously, you do need to push yourself.
E: Fuck you.
*fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:18:59 GMT -5
Later in the RunDEA Locker Rooms, sponsored by Aquafina we see Lucky and Firewoman watching OOWF-TV and laughing. They are watching the goings-on at Ultimo, Inc. Firewoman occasionally winces in pain, as she sells her injuries....
FW: Wow, I guess Steele isn't the brains of the outfit either. Of course, I can't blame him for mishearing what I said, what with him being unconscious and all. I didn't SAY anything about how I would beat Tytan. That was his assumption. I said it'd be in the ring.
L: I think you even specifically said, run ins and stuff were still fair game.
FW: I did. And I wasn't actually expecting Tyson. Say, where is he, anyway?
L: He kinda over did, so he's back on bedrest.
FW: Really? Sheesh....
Davin Moreland and Samantha Darling come in. Davin appears to have something on his mind, but before he can say anything--
FW: Oh good, you guys are here. Lucky, rewind to our favorite part.
Lucky does, and comes up to:
Lucky and Firewoman roar with laughter. Davin joins them, and even Samantha cracks a smile
L: I don't actually get it. I mean, you never said you wouldn't play dirty.
FW: No. In fact, I may have promised I would. I can't actually recall, and I've ceased to care. Seriously, though all that's missing is a "Mission Accomplished" banner. I mean, we beat them all backstage, alone, in groups, in the ring, out of the ring. I can certainly see how Steele declares that they won.
L: To be technical, Steele said they 'one,' not that they 'won.'
DM: Davin Moreland thinks Lucky the Valet has an excellent point. Davin Moreland hates to interrupt this camaraderie, but Davin Moreland needs to ask Firewoman two things.
FW: Shoot.
DM: Davin Moreland wonders if Firewoman noticed she was in a nine-person match coming up, and --
L: Whoa, Fire, you're in a nine way.
FW: I'd like to say there's a first time for everything, but there was that one time--
DM: Davin Moreland appreciates the giddiness of victory that has infused Firewoman's brain right now. But Davin Moreland would like to have a serious conversation, then Lucky the Valet and Firewoman can go back to their silliness.
SM: Yeah, and then we can get some sleep.
FW: You were a lot more fun before you were a fuckin' domesticated housewife, you know?
DM: Davin Moreland thinks Firewoman should hold Firewoman's tongue for just a moment. And refrain from any tongue related double-entendres if at all possible.
FW: Fine, I'm in a 3x3 non title Campeonas....what the fuck is that thing called?
DM: Exactly, with Alexander Darling and RunDEA prospect Chris "Lionheart" Evans. This will give Firewoman a chance to work with Chris "Lionheart" Evans in the ring, and Davin Moreland would like a fair and unbiased assessment of his abilities to blend in with us after Firewoman is done.
FW: Sure, whatever. That it?
DM: No, that is not "it." There is another "it" that concerns the last conversation Firewoman and Davin Moreland had about Firewoman's impeding relationship with Psychiatrist Doctor Sidney Freedman.
FW: Oh, that...yeah, I'm thinking about it, okay?
DM: Davin Moreland is pleased Firewoman is (and yes, he makes the air quotes) "thinking about it." Davin Moreland however thinks that the time has come for Firewoman to stop "thinking about it" and to actually place the call, since Firewoman's pre-match activities yesterday may have been part of what brought OOWF to the attention of the Oregan State Athletic Commission, and Davin Moreland thinks that if Firewoman is proactive in her therapy, GM the Weak will not make an example of Firewoman. Here...Firewoman may use Davin Moreland's phone.
Davin slides the phone across the table towards Firewoman, who stares at it for a bit, glares some daggers at Davin.
DM: Davin Moreland is not intimidated by your glares. Davin Moreland has Firewoman's best interests at heart, and Firewoman knows this.
Firewoman continues to glare, yet picks up the phone. As the number is already predialed, Firewoman hits the button.
DM: (to the ninja cam) What say Ninja Cams back the hell out, as this is a private family moment.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:19:27 GMT -5
*Stank has arrived at the Destroyitarium after having visited his men at the hospital. He walks over to the bar and takes a seat. SFJ#8 walks in after Stank and takes a seat next to him.*
Stank - *sigh* What, Anya?
SFJ#8 - You're 0 for 3 against The Dead, twice falling victim to his finisher.
Stank - Is there a question in there?
SFJ#8 - Are you still considering recruiting him or Thim Reynolds for-
Stank - No.
SFJ#8 - No?
Stank - No... not now. The only thing on my mind are my friends in the hospital and regaining the World Title.
SFJ#8 - But it must burn you that you've lost your last three matches. The first time you claimed you were distracted by the attack from Moose's stable. The second time you claimed you were distracted by an alleged "wardrobe malfunction". This last time-
Stank - Anya let me stop you right there... First... I NEVER claimed I lost my first match with The Dead because I was distracted by the shit going on with KZ and Seamus McNasty.
SFJ#8 - So you WERE distracted.
Stank - DID I SAY I WAS DISTRACTED?
SFJ#8 -
Stank - Second... About Firewoman... For fuck sake... I know what I saw. It was an accident... it happens... Now, I am MAN enough to admit that SHE was the one who pinned me and I'm kind of baffled at how it is The Dead was credited with that win. She hit me with the Firesault and it hurt like hell. I take nothing away from her performance. She had me beat. A long time after the match, I made an offhand comment to Spin which I THOUGHT was private. I would never say to Firewoman I lost because I saw your boob. I'd never suggest it and Spin knows I wasn't offering that as an excuse. I don't know all of what the ninja cams caught of that conversation... but I regret they caught that part of it.
SFJ#8 - Okay well do you have anything to say about Moose's comments prior to Madness V?
Stank - Moose can kiss my ass. He wants to keep singing that tired old tune? He can belt it out anyway he likes. It doesn't change the fact that we BOTH got what we wanted out of that night at Hell on Earth III. I used you Moose... but I damn sure didn't NEED you to become champion. It was Glaw who kept that belt off of my waist, not some lack of effort or skill on my part. I just used you to tip the scales and it worked to our mutual benefit. After that we went our separate ways. I damn sure didn't NEED you to hold onto that title and in case you've forgotten I held it longer than ANYONE here. This shit between us is about some sort of debt you think I owe YOU? Think about THIS Moose. Think about what YOU owe ME! Think about THAT while you rot there in the hospital. Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about.
SFJ#8 - One final question... you have a match against Poe at Mayhem for his World Championship. Given all that has happened between your two stables, and your recent losing streak, do you think you have what it takes to capture the OOWF World Title?
Stank - Get out.
SFJ#8 - So... should I take that as a no?
Stank - Get out before I throw you out.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:19:48 GMT -5
Inside Rick's office, he meets with Zane Myers "I talked with the board, they agree with me that this confidentiality agreement is a bad idea. We order you to fill these out. "
"I tell you I can't. All I want is a clean start. "
"And telling us your real name will really compromise that."
"Yes. too many people, including OOWF superstars, will know who I am If I give you any personal info. "
"Some of my people will recognize you?"
"I've worked with and against quite a few of them. I Need this fresh start."
"I need these forms filled out. How about your attorney faxes them directly to the insurance?"
"You got it boss...and thanks"
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:20:20 GMT -5
(The next day when the camera "aren't rolling" we see Steele talking to Podvod, and Biggs.)
Steele: Well...do you think these people are buying it?
Biggs: What? That you are actually Steele himself?
Podvod: Anyone with half a brain would realize even in this world to come back from a Crucifixion would take at least three days?
Steele: (pulling off the mask to reveal that it is none other then the great Bruce Campbell.) Damn, I haven't had to where this much crap since Bubba Ho-Tep. Now that was a great movie! By the way where are you hiding out the guy anyway?
Podvod: Exam Room Six. We have him heavily sedated right now. I am trying to decide whether we need to bring him back or leave him there.
Biggs: By the way you did have Steele pretty nailed down how did you do it?
Bruce: I watched the tapes baby. He really wasn't that hard to get down. I have played a lot of arrogant asses in my career.
Podvod: Yeah, but the rising up like a Fiery Phoenix was a bit over the top.
Bruce: (Looks around) Sweetheart, do you realize where we are? This isn't over the top?
(Biggs and Podvod look at each other and agree to what he is saying.)
(Just then KayFabe charges out and tackles Bruce Campbell and starts to punch him crazily. He fights her off and grabs a shot gun and fires sending her off.)
Bruce: I've seen more psychotic bitches then that in Evil Dead.
(Just then there is a knock on the door.)
Podvod: Quick put the mask back on.
(FADE)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:20:41 GMT -5
**Matte is talking to his friends (they're in his head).**
- Crete? Yea. - Well yea, but he's always got so much going on and I'm so chill it... - Yea, I know. But still. I think... - Well whatever. I still think I'll take it. - Seriously. I mean it hasn't been the best reign so far, but it kind of just started so... - Yea. - Yea, cool. He's an alright guy, but I'm defending against him so I'll be on it. - See ya.
**Fade.**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:21:03 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is STANDING~! watching everyone walk around after the matches and assorted conversations that have taken place*
DM: Can Davin Moreland have Run DEA's attention please? You too, Cubbie.
*Everyone, surprisingly, stops what they're doing and kind of moves around Davin*
DM: Davin Moreland has heard a lot of things tonight. Davin Moreland feels that Davin Moreland needs to set the record straight. First of all, Davin Moreland is in a Retirement Cage Match with "The Lower Midcard" Chris Cole. Everyone, Davin Moreland wishes to make this perfectly Crystal Clear so if anyone DOESN'T understand, tell Davin Moreland when he's done.
DM: I do not want to see one member of Run DEA ringside, in the gorilla position, or anywhere within the general vicinity of that ring on Wednesday. This is my fight, and I'll be goddamned if any of you *stares at Evans* tarnishes that for me.
E: But what about Team Aq...
DM: YOU! YOU are not fit, in my eyes, to state the name of the Greatest Tag Team in the History of Recorded time. You are also not fit to tell any member of Run DEA where they should or should not be come Mayhem. I think it's cute that you tag along with Firewoman like a little puppy dog, but you are NOT Run DEA, and you do NOT have a right to say anything about anyone nor are you involved in any decision we see fit to make. Am I making myself perfectly fucking clear?
E: Yes.
DM: Good. So this goes for the rest of you. Samantha, my dear, I'm going to ask you to stay backstage on Wednesday.
SD: *thinks about protesting, and then realizes it will be useless* Ok, honey.
DM: The rest of you. Stay. The fuck. Away. No matter what you see, no matter what you hear, no matter what you THINK you see or hear. I am NOT fucking around. Stay the fuck away from my match. Got it?
*Everyone kind of grudgingly nods*
AD: Besides, Champ. I know you got this. It's Cole. *he does some sort of handshake thing*
DM: Damned skippy partner. Any questions?
*everyone shakes their head*
DM: Good. Time for bed, I think, and Sammy and I will be leaving in the morning, and you *stares daggers into Evans* Watch your step, and know your place.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:21:22 GMT -5
SFJ: Lionheart, you wanted to see me?
Evans: Yeah, just wanted to take a little time, short and sweet, to clear the air about Davin Moreland. I gotta admit that at first, I was a little pissed off at Davin’s words, considering that I was just trying to help out a little.
But then I realized that, Davin’s absolutely right, about everything he said. I’m not in Run DEA yet, so I’ve really got no say in any of their matters, and I’ve learned that now. I also know that this is his battle, and he has to face it head-on by himself. Personally, I wouldn’t want any help in it if I were in his position myself.
That’s why I make it my word right now: Davin, I promise you, even if the rest of Run DEA tries to get involved, I won't be there. I will not get involved in your match in any way, shape, or form. And if I do, make you strike me down without mercy.
And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.
*fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:21:46 GMT -5
Bryce Larson and Nayr are walking and DRINKING~! Mountain Dew Code Reds through the hallway of random encounters. As luck would have it, they randomly encounter "Lionheart" Chris Evans after he finishes his promo.
N: Dude, I'm so glad you beat Davin. It wouldn't be the same without you.
BL: I feel like I belong here, and nowhere else.
N: Yeah, me too.
BL: But I'd be lying if I didn't admit it--there were times during that match that I thought I was done. That's the biggest beating I've ever taken. I'm pretty banged up, that's for sure.
N: Yeah, you really earned 'Crete's nickname for you, Bulletproof.
BL: Yeah, I'm changing what I have in file with the office. I'm not the King of the Indies anymore. I'm "Bulletproof" Bryce Larson.
N: Oh crap, it's Chris Evans. [Talking to Evans.] Hey, we don't want any trouble.
BL: Nah, it's cool Nayr. Run DEA or not, I got mad respect for this guy. We went Broadway, and I hope we can do it again someday.
CE: [Fist-bumps with Bryce] Thanks, um, is it "Bulletproof?" [Complete with finger quotes!]
BL: Let's stick with Bryce. I saw your promo, and your run in with Davin. Be careful with that guy. He nearly black-balled me from the business, and then nearly put me out of the OOWF for good.
CE: It was unsanctioned, so you wouldn't have had to leave.
BL: Yeah, but I put that stipulation in to get my name cleared. If I lost, I couldn't have gone back on it. That would have just as easily gotten me black-balled.
CE: True, true.
BL: Good luck this week, hopefully we get to lock-up again in the 9-man tag.
CE: Maybe. I look forward to it.
BL: And if Run DEA doesn't work out, I'll put in a good word for you with Gryfon.
N: Dude!?
CE: It's cool, Nayr. I appreciate it Bryce, but I'm not interested. Run DEA is the place for me, they'll see.
Larson & Evans do a quick guy-hug, and Nayr awkwardly shakes hands with Evans. They then go their separate ways.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:22:05 GMT -5
Zane Myers strolls into Ric's Sandwich Shop and sees Firewoman sitting alone. He approaches her "Hi !"
She looks at him, slightly annoyed "Listen new guy, Zane is it?"
"Myers. Zane Myers"
"Whoever you are. I don't have any tips or information to help you against Tytan."
"That's fine, not why I stopped by anyway. I'm familiar with Tytan. Just wanted to formally introduce myself. You were a little preoccupied last week when I stopped by. " Myers extends his hand
Firewoman shakes his hand "Thanks now If you'll excuse me" she stands to leave
"Of course. And good luck tommorrow evening, ma'am"
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:22:32 GMT -5
Moosehead Jack and LD Williams are recovering in their Springfield, Wherever hospital room. It's late at night, so they are sleeping. Firewoman silently comes in, but trips over something, waking up LD first.
LDW: What the....what are YOU doing here? How did you get past the guards?
FW: The male guards? The starved-for-female-attention-and-relatively-easy-to-flirt-with male guards?
LDW: Oh...Well, kindly get the hell out of here before I get up.
FW: Yeah, I don't think you'll be doing that any time soon.
LDW: Oh, we're just about healed. Going to be discharged tomorrow, in fact. So, I think you should--
MHJ: LD....it's fine. Fire and I have a thing about hospitals, don't we, Fire?
LDW: I thought she had a thing about cemeteries.
FW: I have many "things."
LDW: So I've heard.
MHJ: Look, can you give us a few minutes?
LDW: Dude, she crucified a guy.
MHJ: Yeah, but he's apparently fine. Go on, there was a sexy night nurse that had thigh-high white stockings..
LDW: I'm on it.
LD gets up, and wanders out into the hallway, pausing only to give Firewoman a warning glare.
MHJ: Well, you didn't come all this way just to stand here, did ya? Have a seat, sis-- Wait, what's wrong with your eyes?
Firewoman sits down somewhat awkwardly in the nearest available chair
FW: Probably this crap Dr. Freedman gave me. Tetris-something...Tegrin...no wait...
MHJ: Tegrin is dandruff shampoo. I think you mean Tegratol.
FW: Whatever.
MHJ: Don't get those confused.
FW: Yeah. I feel kinda like Matte.
MHJ: So, you wussed out and let Davin, Rick, and everyone bully you into calling.
FW: Hm....it's odd. I feel like I should choke you in your bed, but I just don't have the motivation to do it. Must be working. I'm not sure how I feel about that....
MHJ: I don't think it's working if you still want to choke me in my bed.
FW: I think that's what the cognitive behavioral therapy sessions are for.
MHJ: Yeah, good luck with that. Again, why are you here?
FW: Just stopping by, checking on all my brothers... seeing how everyone's doing.
MHJ: All your....
FW: Yeah, I peeked in on Team From Down Under earlier, but they were sleeping.
MHJ: I'm not surprised, it's 3am. And you apparently didn't trip over something in their room to wake them up.
FW: Oh, sorry....
MHJ: So...back to my original question....
At that point LD Williams comes back.
LDW: There's no nurse in thigh-highs out there.
MHJ: She must have gone home.
LDW: Uh huh, so what the fuck is going on? You two got a thing?
MHJ: Good god, no.
FW: That would be disgusting. I'm leaving. See y'all Wednesday.
LDW: Yeah, whatever.
MHJ: You may want to talk to the doctor about adjusting your dosage.
FW: Good idea, Moosie...
Firewoman leaves. LD gets back into his bed
LDW: What the hell was that all about?
MHJ: You don't even want to know. Just go to sleep.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:23:16 GMT -5
[The Dead is watching highlights of the latest pay-per-view on OOWF-TV On Demand and smiling.]
Dead: Check this out.
[The Dead motions to the TV screen.]
Dead: One more time...
Dead: That just never gets old. Three in a row against one one the greatest our sport has to offer. One of those wins also included one of the fastest rising stars here. So I sit here today thrilled with what I've accomplished lately, but a little confused of what is happening this week.
Dead: Stank, after going oh and three against yours truly, gets a shot at the World Title. Deadly here once again yanks those curtains open to start the show. No offense against Stank, but what the hell is wrong with this picture?
[The Dead takes a moment and calms himself down.]
Dead: Now I hope Rick knows what he's doing, and there is some sort of method to this madness. I would hate for his decisions to continue to disappoint my fans, but for now I'm going to accept it for what it is, move forward, and put on one hell of a show this week and every week going forward. Now, if you'll excuse me...
[The Dead turns back to the TV and hits play.]
[The Dead smiles and the camera fades to black.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:23:59 GMT -5
*Nonpoint's "Skin" blasts through the speakers and the crowd rises to their feet cheering wildly as Stank walks out from the back and strolls down the ramp to the ring. Stank rolls in under the bottom rope and stands to his feet, a mic in his right hand, a deadly serious look on his face. Stank slowly paces the ring as his theme music fades, and the crowd noise takes over in full force. Stank looks out at the crowd as the continue to cheer and he waits patiently for them to quiet down. Once the cheering and chants subside Stank speaks.*
Stank - You know, I've never claimed to be invincible... just indomitable. You have to be indomitable to survive for as long as I have in the OOWF. The fact that I come out here without a World Title belt and still receive the respect and admiration of each and every one of you...
*Crowd cheers wildly for a few moments before Stank continues*
Stank - ...that fact speaks volumes to me. I don't always feel like I deserve it but you all do and for that... I thank you.
*Crowd roars its approval*
Stank - I can't promise that you will always feel that way. I have done and will do some things that I and you won't always be proud of. There may be times that you may question my integrity, my tactics, my chances, but what you should never question is my will.
You see, I WILL be World Champion once again. And my opportunity to make that happen is coming up against your current OOWF World Champion... Poe.
I EARNED that opportunity when I won the Invitational. You remember the Invitational tournament, right The Dead? I believe that was the tournament where you went out in the first round. Enjoy your little string of wins against me, but let me warn you... you do not want my undivided attention. Believe that.
Now, Poe...
*Cheers with a smattering of boos echo throughout the arena at the mention of the OOWF World Champion's name.*
Stank - Poe, let me remind you the last time you and I fought one on one in this ring... I beat you. The only other time we fought one on one... you beat me. We each have a win over the other. Looks like this will be the rubber match and the stakes couldn't be any higher. I am not Alexander Darling. I'm a hell of a lot bigger, stronger, tougher. You've been a world champion everywhere you went. I've only been World Champion here. It was a hell of a run... it was the longest run... and it will begin again. No amount of blood you've spilled or mind games you'll play will change the fact. Play time is over big man... now...? Now in the immortal words of Ric Flair... It's time to go to school.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:24:19 GMT -5
As soon as Stank finishes speaking "Miseria Cantare" strikes up. The crowd jumps to its feet expecting a face to face showdown. The Jumbotron comes on and we see inside Poe's locker room. Poe is sitting on his couch smoking some hookah as Selena is bouding around the room, surely from eating too much sugar.
SG: Hi Stinkie!
St: It's Stank little girl.
SG: But you don't stink. Pfft, actually you smell kinda good, what cologne do you wear?
Poe: Goddess...
Selena pouts and gets out of the camera shot. Poe sits up, draping the World Championship belt over his shoulder.
Poe: Stank, everything you spoke is truth. We are one and one in our encounters. Congratulations on winning the 2009 Invitational, it is truly an honor to win such a presitgious tournement, especially beating me in the process. However this time when we meet, the stakes are much much different.
Poe slaps the belt.
Poe: You see, Stank, you and I are on different sides of this little feud between our friends, but all in all, I have no squabble with you. If anything I still see you as a brother in arms, but rest assured...
Poe stands, dropping the belt into his hand. He then holds it up in front of the camera.
Poe: You better bring all you got my brother, for this belt is mine. If you are to take it from me you're going to have to beat me within an inch of my life and pry it from my cold dead hands.
SG: No! I like this belt!
Selena grabs the belt from Poe. She then holds it up in front of her with one hand while she plays with her hair with the other hand. She then smiles and uses her free hand to wipe her teeth. Poe stares at her for a moment, amused by her momentary fit of vanity, but then looks back to the camera, and in essence, Stank.
Poe: That not withstanding, I'll see you Wednesday. There will be no funny business from me, rest assured. But on Wednesday, I promise you, it will be violent, it will be brutal, and it will be the match of your life Stank. Namaste.
St: Yeah Poe. You bet your ass. See ya in class.
Selena laughs.
SG: You said ass and it rhymed with class.
The feed is cut. The fans cheer as Stank continues to stand in the middle of the ring. He holds his arms out and slaps his shoulder where the belt will go if he wins as the fans continue to cheer him.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:24:40 GMT -5
(Tytan is seen is is darkened exam room writing on the wall.)
Tytan: I don't know how much longer I have...I feel the Agent X taking control of me. I can feel my mind start to slip away as something else begins to take control.
Why isn't Steele helping me? Where is Diana? Why doesn't anyone understand me anymore? What is going on with me?
(Just then Diana enters and slowly approaches Tytan)
Diana: Tytan can you hear me?
Tytan:( He hears) Sure I can hear you what kind of stupid question is that? (She hears) Arrr...grunt...grunt...stuu...arrg..
(Diana continues to try with no luck. Finally she give up and leaves.)
Tytan: (writing on wall.) Somehow they can't understand me. Maybe I can only communicate this way? But for how long before this madness overtakes me.
(FADE)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:25:04 GMT -5
(Camera fades in and all the audience sees is a plasma television with a blue screen and a hand holding a remote control. PLAY is suddenly on the screen and the video of a 1200 pound bull having his way with a motionless human husk. The camera pulls back and the hand belongs to Brian Dennehy.)
Brian Dennehy then turns to the camera with an emotionless gaze
Brian Dennehy: I told you long ago, when you fuck with Dennehy, the bull will always get you by it's horns. Ahahahaaaa, game, set, Dennehy. I'm outta here, you punks. I got babies to kiss and bitches to catch.
The television goes to blue screen, and then turns off.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:25:25 GMT -5
(Tytan contiues his internal rants in the darkened exam room and he is going through an exam my Dr. Podvod and she explaining her findings to Biggs.)
Tytan: I wish they would tell me what is going on with me and fix this...why can't I communicate with them...Diana?.....
Podovd: (To Biggs) It seems the fistdrop with the chain,plus the chair shots damaged the part of his brain that helps with communication.
Tytan: Once again this is because of Firewoman.
Biggs: So Tytan can't talk anymore?
Podvod: It seems like that is the case.
Biggs: We need to get Steele awake so he can help you solve this issue.
Podvod: He's allowed enough to happen. Besides he still needs time to heal, and I am enjoying the peace an quiet.
Biggs: Why are you blaming him? Tytan drank the formula you created. You are just as guilty in this one as he is, in fact you are proably more guilty.
Tytan: Leave her alone....she is the only one trying to help me.
Biggs: I wonder what Tytan is saying about you right now? Do you think he hates you as much as Steele?
Tytan: Don't talk to her like that!
Podvod: I know I did wrong...but at least I am trying to make it right.
Biggs: You proably enjoyed turning him into what he is now just as much as Steele did. You two are both sick in the head.
Tytan: (Yelling so everyone can hear him) ARRRGGGHHH!!!
(He jumps out of the exam bed and lunges for Biggs taking him down, and he begins to throw wild punches at him. Biggs tries to fight back but with the "Agent X" Tytan seems to have gotten stronger.)
Podvod: Tytan stop it!
(Tytan then grabs the already bloodied Biggs.)
Tytan: (Internal) No one talks to Diana like that.
(Tytan then launches Biggs back against a nearby wall. Forgetting that there were several coat hooks there. He does not realize it until Tytan lets go and finds that Biggs is not coming down. Blood begins to run out of his mouth.)
Podvod: Tytan what did you do?
Tytan: What did I do?
(Diana runs and checks out Biggs and sees that one of the hooks impaled the back of his neck and into the back of his head. Biggs dies almost instantly.)
Podvod: You killed him! What you put into your body did turn you into a monster.
Tytan: (Internal)Oh God I just killed him. The rage and hatred I felt to him took over...the rush....deep down I feel good...no I can't talk like that...but it did...
Podvod: This needs to end sooner then later. (Podvod leaves and comes back with a book that she hands to Tytan)
Tytan: American sign language.
Podvod: I learned it a long time ago. This may be the only way we can really communicate with each other.
Tytan: Thank you.
Podvod: Now go find some where to read it. I have some things to do. Tonight this all ends...
(FADE)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:25:48 GMT -5
Seamus is eating lunch at the Jack Douglass Saloon in Columbia California, when SFJ # 45 walks up to him and starts interviewing him.
SFJ: “Seamus can you explain or justify your actions at that pay-per- view this past weekend.”
Seamus: “Yes”
….
SFJ: “Well!”
Seamus: “Well what?”
SFJ: “Well would you explain your actions?”
Seamus: “Ahhh there you go lass, don’t they teach that stuff in journalism school…you know how to ask questions, and direct an interview?”
SFJ: “This isn’t about me or what I learned in college.”
Seamus: “Did you learn how to drink?”
SFJ:”What?”
Seamus: “I didn’t stutter, sit down woman, lift a pint with me and I’ll give your damn interview.”
SFJ: “I can’t do that, please Mr. McNasty just answer the question.”
Seamus: “So we gonna go all proper now are we, sit down before I knock you down…and here take a swing of this.”
Seamus grabs a glass and pours a shot from his bottle, and pushes it toward the young journalist
SFJ: “No I shouldn’t”
Seamus: “Come on get yer panties out of the bunch and have a drink with me…”
SFJ: “Ok…but just one…”
Seamus: “Of course”
SFJ takes shot and knocks it back, starting a coughing fit for a few seconds
Seamus: “There you go, here try another one that one went down wrong”
Seamus pours another and she again slams it back…this time wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and slamming the glass down on the table
Seamus: “Ha, well look at you, a seasoned veteran, so you want to know why eh…let’s have another one first, you know dyeing of t’irst…”
Seamus pours them both another shot and they clink glasses and both slam the drinks down
Seamus: “You see everywhere I go I get people asking me why…why Seamus….why did ya piss on the Union Jack…I look at them like the family dog you know…..me head tilted to one side…why…April 1916…why… what about the Battle of the Bogside, August 12 1969…why..how about that bloody Sunday in January 1972…why…how about remembering Bobby and the others in the hunger strikes of the 80s…why….because of all the injustices the bloody black and tan cowards have done to me people over the years…why because fuck Great Britain…I say piss on the flag…piss on the queen…and piss on Taa…him…”
SFJ grabs the bottle and pours them both a drink…it obvious that she is getting tipsy as she spills some of the whiskey as she pours...both her and Seamus clink glasses and knock em back
SFJ: “Piss on ‘em all”
Seamus: “Hahaha, you see lass you’re a natural…”
Camera fades…
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Post by mooseheadjack on Apr 3, 2009 13:26:18 GMT -5
*Wally B King comes strutting into the hospital. The sexy nurse in thigh high stockings is on his arm, so we know why LD couldn't find her last night. He kisses her goodbye and heads down the hall, nods at the security guards, and strolls into TTFDU's hospital room. Gator is looking at something on his laptop, and the ninja cameraman is careful not to show the screen, which is probably smart. OBJ is reading the annual report of the Taipei Fence Company, having recently bought some shares for his 401k*
WBK: G'day mates, you're looking like you're both on the mend.
*Gator nods. OBJ puts down the report and reaches under his pillow*
OBJ: Wally, would you mind asking the guard who was in charge last night to come in for a minute?
WBK: Sure.
*Wally steps out, and returns with a uniformed security guard*
OBJ: I just wanted to thank you for keeping us nice and secure last night, mate.
Guard: Oh, just doing our job, sir. You know, protect and serve.
OBJ: Right. *His hand comes out from under the pillow and a large knife flies just over the guards head and sticks into the wall*
OBJ: Listen, mate, when you've been on walkabout as much as I have, you learn to be a light sleeper. If I hadn't recognized that it was Firewoman who was at the door last night I might have thrown that knife and not miss on purpose like I did just now.
*The guard backs warily out of the room*
Wally: How'd you know it was Fire? It was pretty dark in here last night when I left.
OBJ: I could smell cigarette smoke and herbal shampoo. I may be a bit rusty as a tracker, but I'm pretty sure that scent rules out most of the guys who've been in the OOWF locker room.
Gator: Yeah, because Viper doesn't smoke. *looks toward the door*
OBJ: He doesn't do that anymore. In fact, I haven't seen him in months.
Gator: Damn. Hey, is Ron Simmons going to mind if I say that?
OBJ: Haven't seen him lately, either.
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