MidWeek Mayhem (05/13) Live! From Hollywood, SC

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Hollywood, South Carolina

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Poe vs. Winner of the Champions 4 Way Dance

Champions 4 Way Dance For a Title Shot
Johnny Adrenaline vs. The Dead vs. Attitude Adjuster vs. Thim Reynolds

Tournament For The Titles[/u]

World Title
Tytan vs. Beer Baron vs. Firewoman vs. Spin Hansen

Intercontinental Title
DH Magnusson vs. Seamus McNasty vs. Chris Evans vs. Stank

Onslaught Championship
Concrete TG vs. The Amnesiac vs. Matte vs. Blitz

World Tag Team Titles
Group A – Run DEA vs. Cowboy Up vs. IHOP
Group B – The Team From Down Under vs. kz vs. The Heroes Guild

Card subject to someone beating the cocks

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman goes walking into the trainer’s room, with Lucky, to get checked out, when she sees Selena Gomez sitting on the exam table, with an ice pack on her leg. The girl’s eyes widen, but Firewoman smiles nicely.

FW: Hey, Selena. What are you doing here?

Selena tries to answer, but her voice seems to have left her

L: Poe pushed her out of the way of Tytan, and it looked like she twister her ankle.

Firewoman looks angry

FW: He pushed you?

SG: No….not exactly…..

FW: Sure. You keep telling yourself that.

Firewoman sits on the table next to Selena’s, and Selena eyes her nervously.

FW: Selena. You act like you’re afraid of me.

SG: I’m…..

FW: Didn’t I help you get your candy bar?

SG: Yes….

FW: And didn’t I walk with you in the halls when you were lost to make sure you got back to your rooms safely?

SG: Yes….

FW: I’ve not laid one hand on you. So why—

SG: You want me to get in the ring with Shawn Johnson.

FW: Yeah, I think you’d be awesome.

SG: You….you do?

FW: Yeah! Your master Poe even said you were evil and demented. Reminds me of someone else I knew at your age.

SG: Really? You think I’d be…but I only—

FW: With the right training? Damn straight. Johnson’s got a leg up on you in some things, but you’d be better at others. Too bad Poe doesn’t believe in you.

SG: What? Wait, he—

FW: You forget, Squirt. I’ve known Poe longer than you.

SG: He’s just trying to protect me.

FW: I’m sure he is. I have faith in you though. I don’t think you need that much protecting.

SG: Wow….I guess it would be kinda cool…..

FW: Well, if Poe has told you no, then you should probably not do it. He gets really mad when people argue with him or defy him.

SG: No, not—

FW: Trust me. See this scar? She points to her arm

SG: Wow, that’s nasty.

The doctor and a production assistant comes in.

Dr: Okay, Ms. Gomez, it’s not even sprained, but keep ice on it for the next 24 hours. Twenty minutes on, and twenty off. This production assistant will escort you back to Poe’s locker room.

SG: Okay. She hops gingerly down off the table Um…Thanks, Firewoman. I’ll….I’ll think about it.

FW: See ya around.

Selena and the P.A. leave, and Firewoman smiles to herself. Dr. Sidney Freedman comes in with another OOWF trainer.

FW: Heya doc.

SF: Hi Fire. Interesting end to the match there.

FW: Eh, it happens.

SF: We need to take some blood work. Your behavior recently seems to indicate that we still don’t have something right.

FW: I don’t think so.

SF: It’s not a request. He makes a motion to the trainer who has a blood draw kit, and a red shirt.

FW: Seriously. I don’t like needles.

SF: You have several tattoos and piercings.

FW: That’s very very different. You come near me with that thing and I’ll kick you into next week.

Dr. Freedman motions to the trainer, who suddenly is feeling way less confident about his career choice. The trainer nervously approaches Firewoman, who shoots daggers into him with her eyes.

FW: This is your last chance.

He grabs her arm. She smiles at him. He pulls it towards him, exposing the underside of the arm. He tucks it under his arm and starts to apply the tourniquet. She turns her arm slightly, grabs the trainer, and pulls him into a head butt. The trainer’s nose explodes into a bloody mess, and Dr. Freedman leaps back in surprise. She makes good on her promise, and kicks the trainer into the gut, sending him crashing back into a cart. She rips the tourniquet off her arm and throws it on the table.

FW: I told you. No blood draws.

She walks out of the room, leaving medical staff scrambling to attend to their fallen comrade, and Dr. Freedman making a call on his cell phone.

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan heads his way down to the basement pulling table splinters from his head and holding his back. The camerman catches him.)

Tytan: Poe.....I made you bleed...that is only the begining...do you think we are done?....Damn splinters.... Not even close partner....I have only began to get into you head...you said the ring was your world...so then I decided to get you before you even made it there....oh and by the way quick thinking....I almost got the little brat too...so close....but sooner or later she will get in the way and the poor little brat will fall down...(laughs)....you see Poe I haven't even begun to show you how far I am willing to go to destroy you.....

(FADE)

[mooseheadjack]

The limousine driving Poe and Selena to Hollywood, South Carolina (which is just outside Charleston) stops off in the morning in Savannah, Georgia.

SG: Why are we stopping, Master?

Poe: I need Savannah right now.

SG: Um…okay?

Poe gets out of the limo into the dewy Savannah morning air. He steps on a footpath.


SG: Oh! Pretty!

Selena gets out of the limo and stumbles, Poe catching her as she falls.

Poe: Ankle still a little sore?

SG: I’ll be fine.

Poe takes a long look at her as she walks along the path to the flowers. Poe looks back at the driver, who nods to him. Poe then walks over to one of the benches and sits down, watching Selena go from flower to flower smelling it. The following begins to play from the limo:


Poe: So, Tytan, Firewoman, you wanna threaten my goddess…

Poe takes a deep breath in, smelling the fragrant and dewy air.

Poe: Spirits of Savannah…Krishna…Shiva…hear me. Give me the power to do what must be done to those that threaten that which I cherish.

As the music continues, Poe goes into a deep meditative trance, his only observations being of Selena still smelling the flowers and the music playing.

[mooseheadjack]

In front of a OOWF banner

"All the Zaniacs are pumped about Cowboy Up being in the Tag team tournament. Run DEA, get ready for the fight of your lives. IHOP, dont expect to last too long in this thing.

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Hollywood, South Carolina

Champions 4 Way Dance For a Title Shot
Johnny Adrenaline vs. The Dead vs. Attitude Adjuster vs. Thim Reynolds

AA and JA notice this week's card.

JA: So is The Rick already trying to break us up again?

AA: Hmm. I thought the workrate was so bad in this fed that he's trying to recreate the GREATEST LOSER LEAVE TOWN MATCH EVAR! (tm).

JA: If we're not working as a tag team, do we have to promote this match?

AA: I'll check the contract. While I'm doing that, can you find out who these guys are? I mean, I think I remember Thim. Wasn't he the guy who carried around a hockey stick. And isn't Dead Guy a jobber? Man, the buy rates must really be low if we're having to give a rub to these two.

JA: You realize how close you're coming to pulling a Rikishi?

AA: Who? Is that the guy who's teaming with Carlos Colon's son in that other fed? Cause all those Hawaiian guys look alike to me.

[mooseheadjack]

Cowboy Chad Madison rides Skip into the arena, where SFJ55 awaits him.

SFJ55 'Chad, any thoughts about your first three-team dance this week?'

CCM 'I keep tellin ya darlin, this aint mah first rodeo. Zane n me knows what wer doin in these tag roundups. Cowboy Up'll be ready to ride come-a Wednesday. '

SFJ55 ' Rick still insists you two will not get another gitle shot until you reveal your past identities. He's had private investigators working on it for weeks. '

CCM ' Cowboy Up'sa winnin this here tourney. An if Rick thinks about denying us our prize, he'll have more troubles then a pig farmer at cattle auction.

chickencoop heels, we'll be wrasslin each other agin real soon. ya'll'd better be ready, or you'll be hi-tailin it back to the cattle drive wither tails tucked'

[mooseheadjack]

*SFJ 33.33 is interviewing The Team From Down Under*

SFJ: So you guys are in Group B at Mayhem...

GB: Group B? What the hell does that mean? We get robbed of the titles and instead of a rematch we're in something called Group B?

SFJ: Well, you are up against kz and the Heroes...

GB: Well, that's a horse of a different color!

OBJ: So we're up against kz...*gets the Jack of the Hinterlands face*...so we get to face the traitor and the snake in the grass... it's about time!

SFJ: You're also facing the Heroes.

OBJ/JH (drinks beer, belches): Australian for you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn!

SFJ: But the Heroes...

GB: The Heroes are not the issue. KZ are the issue. It's been a while since we put anyone on the shelf.

OBJ: Right, remember WCW?

SFJ: Who?

GB: Exactly!

[mooseheadjack]

A car pulls up to a small house on a heavily tree-lined street. Moosehead Jack climbs out of the back and looks around. He hears barking and a girl laughing behind the house. He walks over to the fence and sees Selena playing with a dog.

SG: Uncle Moose!

MHJ: Hello Mouse.

SG: Look at the puppy!

Selena points to a black lab/rotweiller mix.

MHJ: What’s his name?

SG: Oliver!

MHJ: Hello Oliver.

Oliver barks at Moose.

Poe: He knows you're evil.

Moose turns to see Poe standing on the stoop. Moose walks over to him.

MHJ: So this is the house on James Island you were telling me about. Where’s this “Kim”?

Poe: She’s visiting family.

MHJ: How nice of her to let you stay here.

Poe: I have to feed that.

Poe points to Oliver.

MHJ: You never have liked dogs have you?

Poe: Where I come from, they’re food.

MHJ: I thought that was a joke?

Poe: When you’re poor, you’ll eat anything.

Poe hands Moose a beer as he sits on the stoop.

MHJ: So you’re staying here all week?

Poe: Yes. I think it’s best. You’re the only one who knows the location. Besides, I’m sure Seamus & LD wouldn’t mind having the run of my locker room for a week.

MHJ: You’re probably right.

Both men are silent for a few moments as they drink their beer. The only sounds are the crickets and Selena laughing as she and Oliver run around the back yard.

MHJ: You know…you told me you’d never embrace Shiva.

Poe: I’ve never felt the need to do it until now.

MHJ: I figure no one would ever piss you off enough. Not even the Boy.

Poe: The Boy came after ME. He left my family out of it.

Moose looks at Selena.

MHJ: I do understand where you’re coming from. But Shiva will be a slippery slope for you.

Poe: If I have to end their careers, so be it.

MHJ: Firewoman? Really?

Poe: For her, I think it’ll be putting her out of her misery. Let’s hope she wakes up, wises up, and it doesn’t come to that. As for Tytan…well…

MHJ: Do you really think Fire is insane?

Poe: There is no such thing. She simply doesn’t cater to her Ego. She’s all Id all the time. She’s like a child that way. It’s what Lisa wants all the time. She never realizes there are repercussions to her actions. Now, this little game she thinks she’s playing, trying to get Selena into a wrestling ring? Well…It’s time for her to realize…she doesn’t always get what she wants…and she’s gonna pay for trying.

A car pulls into the drive. An Indian woman gets out of the car and approaches the house.

Poe: Moose, this is Lili.

Moose takes her hand and kisses it. He then sees the jewel on her forehead.

MHJ: I meant no disrespect.

L: None taken. Are you ready Mr. al-Takriti?

MHJ: Dare I ask?

Poe: She’s my Henna tattooist.

SG: I want one!

L: It’s a rare occasion when I get to adorn a man with Henna.

MHJ: Poe is a very strange man. I’ll leave you to it. Any word for LD & Seamus?

Poe stops as he’s about to enter the house after Selena, Oliver, and Lili.

Poe: Raise Hell.

[mooseheadjack]

SFJ: Where've you been running off to after your matches? I haven't seen you back here in a while.

Matte: I've been having headaches.

SFJ: Headaches?

Matte: Headaches, yea.

SFJ: ...

Matte: ...

SFJ: Why?

Matte: Dunno.

SFJ: Interesting.

Matte: Not really. I have a question, too.

SFJ: Alright.

Matte: Can you get the fuck out of here before I rip your jaw off?

SFJ: What?

Matte: Get. The fuck...

SFJ: Ok, ok. I'm leaving.

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman has FINALLY shown up in Hollywood, SC from Hollywood, FL, and she is seated in GMtheRick's office, with Dr. Sidney Freedman.

GMtR: About time.

FW: Hey, the show isn't until Wednesday. I'm technically early.

GMtR: Mm-hmm...except it was supposed to be your turn for the meet-n-greet.

FW: Was it?

Dr.F: Rick, that schedule change was made at the last minute.

GMtR: True, but it's still her responsibility to be there. She's supposed to check.

Dr.F: She doesn't disagree, but there's also the issue of the side effects of the medication that makes it--

FW: Hey, she is sitting right here, and can speak for herself.

Dr.F: Oh yes, I'm sorry.

GMtR: Yeah, speaking of medical, there's the little issue of the OOWF medical staff member you assaulted.

FW: Huh?

GMtR: He tried to do a blood test and you head butted him and then kicked him into a table.

FW: Oh that.

GMtR: That's your response? "Oh that?"

FW: What the fuck do you want me to say, Rick. I told him to not come near me or else I'd kick him through a table. I gave him a second warning. He didn't listen. I kicked him through the table. I don't see what's so controversial.

GMtR: You don't? Doc...Help me out here.

FW: Shut up, doc. Rick, it says very clearly in my contract that there will be no blood tests performed except by licensed and certified phlebotomists.

GMtR: What? That's ridiculous.

Alexis Darling comes in with papers.

LD: Nope. It's written right here. (she points to the appropriate clause)

GMtR: Wow. So it is.

FW: Thanks, Lexie. See ya.

Firewoman blows her a kiss, and she leaves.

Dr.F: Well, while I agree that Firewoman's reaction was extreme and completely contrary to what we are supposed to be working on, if that man was not a phlebotomist, then she really had every right to refuse.

GMtR: You're the one who demanded it!

Dr.F: I wasn't aware of the contract stipulation. I have made arrangements for a phlebotomist to come in.

FW & GMtR: You have???

Dr.F: Yes.

GMtR: Well.... the board is still willing to be patient, and for some reason the staff member is not pressing charges. But that's your second strike, Firewoman.

FW: Fine. We done?

GMtR: No, there's some interesting reports that have surfaced.

FW: Of?

GMtR: Of suspicious fires.

FW: So?

GMtR: One in each city OOWF has been in, while we've been there.

Dr. Freedman watches Firewoman closely

FW: Fascinating, Rick. Do you know what the FBI records as the number of arsons per year?

GMtR: Um...no.

FW: There were 64,332 arsons reported nationally in 2007, the last year for which full figures are available. [1]

GMtR: So?

FW: So, I get what you're implying but the point is with that much arson going on, which incidentally does not even include suspicious fires not determined to be arson, any connection you're trying to make is purely coincidentally.

GMtR: Normally, I'd agree with you, but the FBI has noticed a peculiar pattern among these particular fires. All in abandoned buildings, all with --

FW: You expect me to believe this? The FBI does not investigate--

Kayfabe comes in and whaps Firewoman upside the head with a rolled up newspaper.

FW: Ow!

GMtR: Doc, Firewoman has a large amount of time unaccounted for, has been seen getting into cabs after matches that are particularly upsetting for her. Does this feed into a pattern, that maybe Fire's therapy isn't going as well as you two have been indicating?

Dr.F: Well,.... certainly, Firewoman could open up a bit more.

FW: I'm going to open up right now. I'm done with this. Rick, you have proof? Bring it. Otherwise, I'll just continue my jobbing to whatever local flavor you bring in and--

GMtR: You haven't seen the run sheet this week, eh?

FW: No?

He hands her a copy.

FW: So....what?

GMtR: It's a four way dance for a shot at the championship. World Championship. Up 'til your reaction to the medical staff member, the board was impressed with your progress, and suggested we put you in--

FW: So the winner faces....

GMtR: Yes...and no. All four of you get a title shot, but the one who wins gets it at the PPV. The rest of you get it after you lose.

FW: So...

GMtR: So basically you get a title shot at Poe, who I believe you dislike anyway, not that you like anyone.

FW: Even if I lose?

GMtR: Even if you lose. Poe doesn't have a choice. He can't avoid any of you.

The color appears to drain out of Firewoman's face.

DrF: Rick, I think we're done here, and ... I think Firewoman and I have some things to talk about.

GMtR: Yep, I'm done.

DrF: Great. Fire why don't we go back to the suites and talk about....Fire?

FW: Huh? What? Oh, uh yeah.

GMtR: No "thanks for the world title shot opportunity?"

FW: What? Oh yeah...thanks.

Firewoman leaves, looking a little dazed, followed by Dr. Freedman

----------
[1]http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/cius2007/offenses/property_crime/arson.html

[mooseheadjack]

*Davin Moreland is sitting in an overstuffed chair, drinking a snifter of brandy, while reading the Sunday Boston Globe (with reading glasses!) and listening to 25 Symphony Favorites by Vox Music. Samantha is seated next to him reading the Bergen County Record. They're both a picture of...hell, it's a fucked up picture, ok? Anyway, Dr. Freedman and Firewoman come in and try to breeze on by*

DM: Fire, got a minute?

FW: *looks at Dr. Freedman* Um...wait in my locker room or something.

DSF: Are you sure?

FW: I'll be fine, yes.

*He leaves*

DM: *pushes his reading glasses down his nose* Get you a drink?

FW: Aquafina?

*Davin produces a cold Aquafina from a previously unseen area and tosses it to Firewoman*

FW: Thanks.

DM: You done yet?

FW: What?

DM: Are you DONE yet?

FW: Done with what?

DM: Done with the charade? Done with pretending like the medication you're on is having any affect on you whatsoever? Because what you're TAKING wouldn't actually produce the (air quotes) "side effects" you're feeling.

FW: I have no idea what you're talking about.

DM: Uh huh. *sips off his brandy and pushes the glasses up his nose*

SD: Darling?

DM: Hmm?

SD: I think it's only fair that if you're accusing Firewoman of being disingenuous, then you shouldn't be either.

DM: Meaning what, Dear?

FW: Meaning take the fucking glasses off, dipshit. Everyone knows you have 20/10 vision. Are there even lenses in those?

DM: Duh. Of course not. They'd give me a headache.

SD: He said before he was practicing for when he was old and might actually need glasses. Unfortunately Darlings aren't as lucky.

DM: Dear, the LASIK surgery is a Godsend. In fact, it fixed your early-onset Presbiopia that runs in your family.

SD: Shut up.

DM: What? Don't want to talk about having middle-aged eye issues?

SD: *stares daggers* I. Said. Shut. Up.

DM: Oh you're no fun. Unfortunately, it's not known as a recessive trait, so it's gonna be a crapshoot.

*Samantha drills him in the shoulder*

DM: Um...OW!

FW: Wait...does that mean you're....

SD: Trying.

DM: She's not getting any younger you know.

SD: I swear to Christ I'll kill you if you don't shut the fuck up. Besides, you're older than me.

DM: Yeah, by like a month. And men age gracefully after all. I even have my own Squee Club nowadays.

SD: That's only because you're tagging with my brother.

DM: You keep telling yourself that, sweet cheeks.

FW: *interrupting* ANYWAY, I hope it works out. And Davin, I REALLY don't appreciate your tone toward me right now. I feel like I'm attacked and defensive when you speak to me that way...and I feel...

DM: Fire. Seriously. Stop it. I don't know what you have planned, and I'm not going to get in the way, but don't bullshit me. Hell, it's not just me who's got Mental Illness, it's the majority of my family. I've seen it my whole life. I've seen how medication affects people. Let's just say that if the medication was affecting you as strongly as you suggested...well, Mr. Fake Phlebotomist wouldn't have gotten his ass kicked.

FW: You KNOW how I am around needles.

DM: Uh huh. I also know how people are when they're drugged out.

SD: Me too.

DM: Her too.

FW: You too, Sam?

SD: No sale, Fire. But like my...like Davin said, I'm not gonna get in your way with whatever you're planning.

FW: Whatever, you're both wrong.

DM: We're not.

FW: We done here?

DM: Almost, I had a question to ask you.

FW: What?

DM: You've seen Cowboy Up right? Madison and Myers?

FW: *tries not to swoon at the mention of cowboys* Yeah...

DM: Does anything strike you as...odd...about them?

FW: Odd? Like what?

DM: Like...I dunno...can't place it...like...like I know them from somewhere or something...

FW: Hmm...No idea Davin.

DM: Probably just me being crazy.

FW: That WOULD make the most sense.

DM: Ok, you can fuck off now.

FW: Will do. Samantha.

*Firewoman leaves*

SD: Is it time?

DM: If you don't mind dear.

SD: Davin, how do you feel about your upcoming match with Cowboy Up and IHOP?

DM: Honestly? I think it's gonna be a lot tougher match than anyone realizes. I mean, Skurge is the goods, just ask your brother. I think he pinned him in like 5 minutes. If you're not careful with SYB you'll get punched in the nuts; and Cowboy Up, well, they're obviously a wildcard, but from what I've seen they're legit; almost like they've been tagging together forever. Considering all tags are gonna count...I imagine there will be some interesting moments; but when it boils down to it; Alexander and I are the 2 most talented wrestlers in that ring - it's just gonna be a matter of showing it. Davin Moreland doesn't like to lose, and Alexander Darling doesn't either. It's going to be a fight, but Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling are up to the challenge.

SD: Well, that was relatively generic.

DM: It was either that or throw coffee on them.

SD: That's stupid.

DM: Mhmm...Hey, listen I gotta ask you something.

SD: What?

DM: How do you feel about taking off maybe and opening up the Cape House for the summer?

SD: Umm...non-committal? Why?

DM: I'd feel better if you weren't around for a while.

SD: Why? What are you gonna do?

DM: You don't wanna know. Let's call Mom and see if she can get things ready for you.

SD: So now I'm going. I don't get to decide.

DM: Not this time, no.

SD: *eyes Davin carefully* Fine.

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan sits alone in the room on the floor in the corner. He begins to rock as he talks....)

Tytan: Poe....you are making this to easy for me....I knew she was your weakness....you have to protect the little brat....but come on partner...you really want her to see...how much of a monster you can be.....you really want her to be...afraid of you...and what you are capable of....you see partner....I don't care about winning the match....I told you I am not afraid to die...come live what I am and you will be the same....I want to ruin you...I want to destroy your world.....and if I can walk away with the your title...that would just make my revenge all that sweeter....remember I still have my chain and I still am waiting for the time I can hang you and that little brat of your from the ring....see you soon partner....and Selena I will be waiting for you too....

Now for this match at Mayhem...Fire...remember our last dance...you helped set the violence free...let me return the favor...and Spin....are you sure this is a dance you want to be part of....it may be safer ffor you to walk away.....but either way whoever wins makesure there is a piece of Poe left for me....

(He laughs as the camera fades.)

[mooseheadjack]

*The Aussies are in GM The Rick's office*

GMTR: What part of "endangered species" did you not understand?!!!

OBJ: Well, I can see why the local gators are endangered. They don't put up nearly as much fight as the crocs back home.

GMTR: I don't care! The negative publicity from your little stunt is the last thing we need!

Wally: No worries, mate, I managed to smooth things over with the game warden, and the editor of the Post & Courier agreed to pull the story.

GMTR: How did you manage to do that? I was on the phone with those guys for hours!

Wally: Well, there are these twins who...

GMTR: Never mind. I suggest you gentlemen focus your attention on your opponents and not the local wildlife.

Gator: That sounds like a good idea.

GMTR: Wait, don't do anything crazy.

Gator; Crazy puts asses in seats, not that I'm telling you anything you don't already know.

OBJ(drinks, belches): Australian for g'day, mate!

*TTFDU walk out laughing*

[mooseheadjack]

SFJ: I'm standing here with our Intercontinental Champion, The Dead! Deadly, what are your thoughts as we head into another week of Mayhem?

Dead: I'm going to keep this short and simple. This week is a big week for me and my fans. My undefeated streak continues as I get to go toe to toe with some great competitors for a shot at the ultimate prize: The World Heavyweight Title. I've won three separate titles in my time here in the OOWF, and I'd love to add a fourth.

SFJ: Do you have anything to say specifically to your opponents, especially since you're facing a couple of teammates in the ring?

Dead: They know what to expect. I haven't been beaten in a long time here, and I don't plan on starting now. This Wednesday, I'm Closing the Casket on their title hopes.

[mooseheadjack]

SFJ: I’m standing by with one of the participants in the Fatal-Four-Way match to decide the #1 contender for The Dead’s Intercontinental title, the potential Run DEA prospect, “Lionheart” Chris Evans. SO Lionheart, what are your thoughts concerning your upcoming match?

Evans: Well it’s gonna be interesting. I already know what Stank is capable of in the ring and I’ve had some history with DH Magnusson in the past, but I’ve never faced Seamus in the ring before, and that’s something I’m looking forward to.

From what I can tell, he’s a hard-drinking brawler, kinda like Spin Hansen, who I’ve got a clean victory over. And if he’s anything like Spin is, I’m in for one hell of a good time this Wednesday.

And after all is said and done, I'll be the one in the middle of the ring with my hand raised in victory. And then…

*Evans looks into the camera*

Hey Dead, I know you're watching this right now, and I've got something to say to you. Our little rivalry of ours ain’t quite over yet, and when I’m done with these 3, I’m coming after that title again. And this time, it will be mine, no matter what. Bank on it.

*fade to black*

[mooseheadjack]

AA and JA are watching OOWF-TV, and see The Dead's promo.

AA: Did you know The Dead has a winning streak?

JA: Missed that. Huh.

AA: ...

JA: That's it?

AA: Yeah.

JA: No promo?

AA: Well, now that you mentioned it...

The Dead, you have a winning streak? Wow (golf clap). Haven't you learned anything yet about professional wrestling. It's not about winning or losing. It's about gaining and KEEPING these (AA pats his OOWF tag team title belt). It takes more than a winning streak. It takes more than winning. It's takes deception and deviousness and dirty tricks. And Johnny and I are masters at all three of those. So once you've won a Number One Contenders match AND the tag team titles without actually winning a match--LIKE WE HAVE--then you can play with the big boys.

JA: Not bad. I give it three stars.

AA: Promotificating at 50 percent is still better than 90 percent of everyone else around here.

JA: Except for Stank, right?

AA: Of course. I never mock Stank's promos. Just his obesity.

[mooseheadjack]

<Moose and LD are sitting in Poe's locker room watching OOWFtv on an endless loop>

LD: So, this week we finally get our revenge and DESTROY the Aussies. Ok, this is how I see it going down, you take Jack and I'll take......

MHJ: Wait, we need to finish off The Heroes Guild. Larson and Nayr are living on borrowed time, borrowed time that Crete can't save. I will take Larson and snap his.....

LD: Wait. You mean The Aussies

MHJ: No......I mean The Heroes

LD: Aussies

MHJ: Heroes

LD: AUSSIES

MHJ: HEROES

LD: AUSSIES!!!!

MHJ: HEROES!!!

<Moose and LD are nose to nose and the locker room (well, Seamus) has gone silent. Before they come to blows, Seamus kills his shot, slips off his bar stool and walks over to them and hands Moose his barbed wire bat, and LD his barbed wire hockey stick (he IS Canadian) they puts his arm around the two of them and leads them to the door>

SM: Tell ya what. Instead of going after each other, why don't you go see which team you find first, beat them to death, then murder the other team in the ring on Wednesday. Less work then, more fun now, and then The Chickenshit Heels don't stand a chance.

LD: He's drunk

MHJ: He's right

LD: Let's go

<Moose and LD take off out of the locker room and Seamus chuckles to himself then heads back to the bar and pours himself another shot, raises the glasss....>

SM: Fuck Sid, I can do this amateur psychologist bullshit

<Seamus downs the shot, and pours another, and we fade away>

[mooseheadjack]

Cameras pan around outside Fort Moultrie located on the Charleston Harbor.


We zoom to the Battery and we see Poe looking out over the water. Selena has hopped onto a cannon and kicks her feet as she also looks out on the water.


SG: Fire! Captain!

We zoom in on Poe who never takes his eyes off the water.

Poe: You see that out there?

Poe points to the large structure located in the distance.


Poe: That out there is Fort Sumter. We’re here at Fort Moultrie. People know the name of Fort Sumter. Most do not know Fort Moultrie. You know why? Because despite Fort Moultrie and the Confederacy’s best efforts, they could not break Fort Sumter. The first shots were fired by…the loser.

Poe turns to the camera.

Poe: Tytan…you took your first shot. I’ve seen better. Your ambush was unsuccessful and here I stand before you…

Poe stands with his arms out as the breeze coming off the water blows through his duster.

Poe: People will always remember my name, for I am legend in this business. Like the Union, I will stand strong. Like the Confederacy, you will fall, Tytan. You will be forgotten as an afterthought to all but the pathetic that idolize fallen heroes. So enjoy your assault. Make your threats. You will not intimidate me. And as for whomever my opponent will be Wednesday, I’m sure you’re a great Champion…but I will defeat you like all the rest. Tytan… good luck on Wednesday. Run your Gauntlet. For once the smoke clears, and we set foot again in that ring, I will still stand tall and you will surrender…to me…to Pele who embraced you…to Hel…to Shiva…and to my goddess.

Selena hops off the cannon and stands next to Poe.

SG: Yeah loser!

Poe: Namaste.

SG: Nevermore.

[mooseheadjack]

*Run DEA Luxury Suites sponsored by Aquafina and Starwood Resorts*

Alexander Darling is milling about the main portion of the suite and he keeps looking over towards Davin's room. Finally after a few moments he heads on over and knocks on the door. He hears his sister's voice,

Samantha: Come in.

Alexander walks in and looks around.

Alexander: So, where is my esteemed partner?

Samantha: Oh, I think he's out getting lunch and making some last minute plans for the trip up to Mass. You can wait if you want.

Alexander: Actually, I wanted to talk to you.

Samantha: Me? Are you sure you have the right sister? Where is Lexie anyway?

Alexander: Yes, I'm sure I have the right sister. And Alexis is with Shawn. I think they had something planned for IHOP.

Samantha: Well, that sounds interesting. What can I do for ya little brother?

Alexander: I dunno. It's just...are you really leaving?

Samantha: Yea, I guess I am for now. Davin has a feeling about something and truthfully, I'm not doing much around here so we thought there is no time better than the present. Don't tell me you're going to miss me brother. We barely even talk.

Alexander: I know and that sucks, but I kinda got used to you being here.

Samantha: Oh boy...is emo-Alex coming back?

Alexander: Go fuck yourself Sammy. You just made things easier around here. For the most part.

Samantha: Isn't that sweet Xand. But, hell I was only supposed to be here for a few weeks and it's almost a year now.

Alexander: But if you're not going to be here, who the hell is going to be the buffer between Davin and Alexis.

Samantha: Like you aren't used to being the buffer with your twin sister.

Alexander: ...

Samantha: What?

Alexander: Nothing. You sure you're ready to settle down?

Samantha: I'm not settling lil bro. And it's cute that you care, but I can handle myself. The question is, can you handle IHOP and Cowboy Up?

Alexander: Are you really?

Samantha: Sure, why not? I've gotten pretty good at it for Davin and you seem to be lacking inspiration anyway. So, take a seat brother and we'll get started.

Alexander slides a chair over and spins it around and he takes a seat as Samantha reaches into one of her bags and pulls out an OOWF microphone...

I'm here with OOWF superstar, a 3-time Intercontinental Champion, a former Onslaught Champion, and currently a member of one of the rising tag teams in the company Run DEA; Alexander Darling. This coming Wednesday you and Davin Moreland will be facing Cowboy Up and IHOP in Group A of the Tournament for the Titles. Now, the loser of that match gets a title shot next week. Have you even considered throwing the match to get your hands on The Chickenshit Heels?

Alexander: That's a good question Samantha, and while Davin and I would like nothing more than to get our hands on Johnny and Alan for what they pulled off when they stole those belts, and while we are the type of guys who will take the shortcuts to get our way, we want to get The Heels on our conditions. With our terms. So what that means is that we're going to win Group A, then we're going to beat the winner of Group B, and we're going to beat The Heels in a match of our choosing.

Samantha: So, you're not worried about IHOP or Cowboy Up this week? I mean, Davin did mention that Skurge did recently beat you.

Alexander: Of course Davin mentioned that. Skurge did beat me. I've never hidden from my losses, and I'm not going to make excuses. All I will say is that situations have changed and things wouldn't be the same if we met again. Besides, this match isn't Skurge against Alexander Darling. It's IHOP against Run DEA and for all the skill in the world that Skurge possesses, his partner is still SYB and well...do I really need to clarify that any further.

Samantha: Good point. And what about the other two guys in this match. Zane Myers and Chad Madison have come together rather quick and formed a capable tag team called Cowboy Up. GMtR has been investigating them and even Davin seems to think there is more to them then meets the eye.

Alexander: You always were a closet Transformers nerd, weren't ya?

Samantha: Fuck off. Just because I know it opens June 24th. So not the point. Cowboy Up is the point.

Alexander: Fine, Cowboy Up. We've had a few run-ins already and each time you've wound up laying flat on your backs. This Wednesday at Mayhem, the result won't be any different. I don't honestly care if you're the reincarnations of Endo & Morte, that you're Chris Cole and Ax-Man coming back from the dead, or maybe wCw has stopped living the high-life. None of it fucking matters to me. Because I am Alexander Darling, and well, you're just not.

Samantha: Sounds good Alex. Any final words?

Alexander: Yea, a few. Cowboy Up and IHOP just remember this. We are Run DEA, Try and Fucking Stop Us.

*Fade*

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman comes riding up on this:



And parks it in the arena parking lot. She removes her helmet and lovingly polishes a stray fingerprint or smudge off the fuel tank. She takes her DDT Iron Woman Heavy Metal Championship out of one of the saddle bags, and as she stands admiring her new toy, Chad Madison strides up.

CM: Afternoon ma'am. Nice ride.

FW: Thanks.

CM: Although I like the more organic rides myself.

FW: Uh huh. Like Skip.

CM: Yes, ma'am.

FW: (rolls her eyes). Yeah, well, see ya.

CM: This is a higher end than your last one, eh?

FW: Yeah, I splurged.

CM: A little retail therapy? Your other therapy doesn't seem to be working so well.

FW: Endorsements and a steady paycheck. I deserve it. Wait, why exactly am I talking to you?

CM: I think someone like you did say I was easy to talk to.

FW: Whatever. Later.

CM: So you're just going to leave it here? Remember what happened to your last bike?

FW: How do you know about that?

CM: OOWF-TV 24/7?

FW: Oh yeah. . . Well, good point. (Firewoman looks around and finds a random security guard) You....come here.

He points to himself in that "Who me?" way?

Yes, you, Einstein.

He looks around as if he's still not sure, and then finally walks over to where Firewoman and her bike are standing.

What's your name?

RSG: Paul...Paul Blart....

FW: Wonderful. Look here Paulie, see this bike? See how it doesn't have a scratch on it? See how bright and shiny it is?

While she's doing this, she's got him by the back of the neck, directing his line of sight.

RSG: Yes.... yes I do....

FW: Good. It needs to stay that way. No one, I don't care if it's the arena owner, I don't care if it's GMthe Rick, Davin Moreland, or Moosehead Jack, or ANYONE else comes near this bike. It is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY, Paulie, you understand?

RSG: Um...y-y-yes ma'am.

FW: I can't tell you how serious I am. You remember what happened to the last person who touched my motorcycle?

RSG: Y-y-y-you tied them up and made them watch you torture their manager?

FW: Exactly. That will PALE in comparison to what happens to the next person who even THINKS about even BREATHING on this bike. You got that?

RSG: Y-y-y-yes m-m-m-ma'am.

FW: And just what do you think will happen to you if you allow such a tragedy to happen?

RSG: I....I don't know.....I-I-I'm afraid to think about it.

FW: That's a good mindset to have about this Paulie. She smacks him lightly, Mafia-style, on the cheek So I can count on you then?

RSG: Y-y-y-yes ma'am.

FW: Good.

She begins to walk away, and Chad Madison follows her

CM: Awful hard on him, weren't ya?

FW: Don't start. I have a match to think about.

CM: Eh, it's just a--

FW: Just a nothing. I'm getting into the ring with Tytan, who DEFINITELY wants to kill me, Spin Hansen, who PROBABLY wants to kill me, Beer Baron, who for all I know wants to kill me....all so I can either lose and get a match with Poe who would kill me for sport, or I can win and then eventually get a match with Poe, who would kill me for sport.

CM: Well, I--

FW: Anyone who thinks I'm not taking this very seriously will find themselves sadly mistaken. I don't have time to worry about my personal belongings. (She yells back over her shoulder) You understand that, right Paulie?

RSG: Y-y-y-yes ma'am.

FW: So, if you'll excuse me, I have some training to do.

CM: Why, yes ma'am. (He tips his hat) Have a nice day, ma'am, and good luck on your match.

Firewoman rolls her eyes, adjusts her DDT Iron Woman Heavy Metal Championship on her shoulder, and walks down the hall towards her locker room.

CM: That goes around your waist, ya know!!

Firewoman flips him off without turning back, and continues down the hall.

[mooseheadjack]

**kz, are in the hallway, weapons in hand, when L.D.’s cell phone rings.**

MHJ: “I don’t understand why anyone bothers to carry one of those things.”

LDW: “Some of us like to actually live in this century, <speaking into the phone> Yeah?

..I’ve been busy…

…Well maybe you’re not the only one who keeps secrets…

…You’re right, that did sound like the boy. Sorry…

…That’s what we’re doing…Are you even watch…

…Boring? Seriously?…

Fine.”

**kz round a corner and see Nayr standing at a pop machine (doesn’t anyone ever stock the guild’s locker room?) Williams tosses his phone to Moose.**

LDW: “Hold that.”

**Williams approaches Nayr from behind and sweeps his legs with the barbed wire hockey stick. He pulls Nayr to his feet and kicks him in the stomach. It looks like he’s about to hit the Canadian Destroyer, but he pauses, shaking his head. He lifts Nayr for a powerbomb, turns, and drives him through the pop machine, setting of a spray of sparks and soda. He drops Nayr, and the machine topples over on top of him. Williams walks over to Moose and retrieves his phone.**

LDW: “Happy?

…tell her to enjoy her nap..”

**Williams hangs up the phone and kz continue down the hall.**

MHJ: “What the hell was that all about?”

LDW: “Selena’s trying to sleep off a surgar rush. She wanted to see some violence – but not the boring stuff we usually do.”

MHJ: “Well, if Mouse wants creative, I guess we’ll just have to get creative.”

<fade>

[mooseheadjack]

. . . .

May 7, 2009 21:05:39 GMT -5 attitudeadjuster said:

AA: I'll check the contract. While I'm doing that, can you find out who these guys are? I mean, I think I remember Thim. Wasn't he the guy who carried around a hockey stick. And isn't Dead Guy a jobber? Man, the buy rates must really be low if we're having to give a rub to these two.

JA: You realize how close you're coming to pulling a Rikishi?

AA: Who? Is that the guy who's teaming with Carlos Colon's son in that other fed? Cause all those Hawaiian guys look alike to me.

[timing being what it is Thim Reynolds choses that moment to walk round the corner]

TR: really guys . . . is that all you've got? Jokes about fat men and jobbers, although I have to say you're rigth about this Dead goon. But what the hell is this thing about a hockey stick???

AA: err, well . . . you tell him Johney

JA: no you tell him

AA: no you tell him!!

JA: no! You said it, you tell him

TR: will one of you PLEASE, just tell him . . .

JA, AA & TR [turning to camera]: it isn't easy being a cop!!

[mooseheadjack]

Selena wakes up and shuffles into the living room of the small house she and Poe are staying at on James Island. Oliver gets off his bed and approaches her and licks her hand. She sees Poe sitting on the couch watching OOWF-TV.

SG: We get that here?

Poe: Simple phone call to the boys in the truck.

The clip of LD powerbombing Nayr through the Pepsi machine plays.

SG: Awesome!

Selena jumps and claps. Oliver jumps in front of her as well.

SG: Captain Fear is like totally cool.

Poe smirks and changes the channel.

[mooseheadjack]

*kz are admiring LD's handiwork when they are assaulted from behind by TTFDU with a series of shot from barbed-wired cricket bats. OBJ then throws Moose over the vending machine while Gator hits the Chomp on LD. A bloodied but determined MHJ gets up and makes a grab for the hockey stick, but is intercepted by a Call of the Wild*

GB: I'm not sure how creative that was. Ambush from behind, beat down, hit signature moves. Kind of predictable.

OBJ: Well, we did use cricket bats. I don't think that's been done in the OOWF.

GB: True, but I keep thinking we could have done a little more. You know how it is when something's on your mind but you just can't think of it?

OBJ: Right.

*Nayr begins to stir under the vending machine*

Nayr: You could help me out here.

GB: No, that wasn't what I was thinking of, but thanks for trying.