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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:25:17 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Philadelphia, Mississippi
No Disqualification Street Fight[/u]
Firewoman & kz vs. Team TEaM
Stank & Poe vs. The Midnight Sons
Team Fuel vs. Ravenna Blue & Concrete TG vs. IHOP
Davin Moreland vs. Outback Jack
Alexander Darling vs. NAKA
card subject to delta blues
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:27:18 GMT -5
It ain't over yet!
(Tytan is seen leaving the arena when he is stopped by SFJ#2.1.)
SFJ: Tytan you got the win over Moose tonight some say it was questionable tactics...
(Tytan grabs the mic)
Tytan: Moose...."Work smart not hard" guess what buddy I took a page out of your play book. It worked I outsmarted you...you see I am one that is not going to play this jump someone in the hallway and deal with the gang warfare. I save my fighting for the ring. Tonight I left in the ring and by the looks of it your sorry as too. You see how Eco has been running around here pissed off that no one else has stepped up to fight this fight and trying to rally the troops. Guess what I took care of my assignment. I drew blood on the great Moosehead Jack and beat him at his own game. The only problem is Moose I am not done with you. I want the one thing that you have. I want those tag-titles. Team TEaM will get those title too. You have now tasted what I will do to make sure I get those title. So, now we get you again next week in a street fight. I'm about it and I will show you again why your sister has bigger balls then you do.
(Tytan walks off showing the limp he still has from getting his leg whipped into the ring post.)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:27:38 GMT -5
<Moose is standing in the back, blood still running down his face. He stares at the camera with an evil look in his eyes>
MHJ: Tytan, you managed to use knucks to get the win. Good for you. You won the battle, the war is far from over. What will Eco think? What will your puppetmaster think of you earning a dishonest win? Oh sure, he will say win by any means necessary, but really……..does that make any of you any better than us? Than what you are fighting so valiantly against? The fact remains, you are not better than any of us, that is why you are not in The Five. You have been judged and found inadequate. So, enjoy your win. Take comfort in your victory. Go celebrate like it matters. Spend the week talking it up like your victory means something, because in the end, you know as well as I do that it doesn’t mean a damn thing.
So Tytan, you bloodied me this week. Good on you. You are not the first, you will not be the last. But the cut will heal, it will leave a scar, but that won’t slow me down. Tell me, how is that knee? How do you think that will hold up when there is no referee to stop me? Face it Tytan, your days of walking are numbered. This week, at MidWeek Mayhem, I will send you out of the arena on a stretcher.
Trust me
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:28:01 GMT -5
(Moosehead Jack turns around, bloody, right into Ecosystem's face.)
MHJ: Figures.
Eco: Well, if I wasn't with Tytan, I had to be somewhere.
MHJ: So are you happy with your little puppet's win or what?
Eco: He's not my puppet. Do you really believe he is, or do you think he's gullible enough to listen to you?
MHJ: We've worked together. Much as you have a tendency to take your ball and go home, you're also good at making people do what you need them to do. You're good at making friends.
Eco: Indeed. And I never thought I'd see the day where Moosehead Jack had so many.
MHJ: <evil grin> Fair enough. So when do you give up? When do you realize that your cheap wins mean nothing, and that this company belongs to us now?
Eco: (laughs) You know, Jack...I agree that we're not better than any of you--well, maybe as people, but not wrestlers.
MHJ: Watch it.
Eco: I am.
(There is a pause. A bit of blood drips onto the floor from Moose's face.)
Eco: You're also not better than us. We make you bleed. You make us bleed.
MHJ: You'll bleed worse.
Eco: But we'll both bleed. Your sadism doesn't make you better, it just makes you a sadist.
MHJ: So since when did you suddenly become so affronted and shocked by my sadism?
Eco: I'm not really shocked by yours. I'm shocked by those with no self-control. You had to stop Firewoman.
MHJ: Not because I like Folz.
Eco: I know. But you're a human being. Deep down.
MHJ: You keep thinking that.
Eco: You're mortal, anyway.
MHJ: You sure?
(Eco pauses and steps in toward Moosehead Jack. Nothing is said for a few moments.)
MHJ: Are you...absolutely sure?
(Eco doesn't say anything. Suddenly, Moosehead Jack stumbles back slightly and catches himself.)
Eco: Yes I am. Blood loss even makes you woozy. I called the EMTs already.
MHJ: I don't need EMTs.
Eco: But they'd be nice.
(Eco walks off as EMTs run in with stretcher and accouterments. Moosehead Jack tries to wave them off as we fade.)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:29:48 GMT -5
Poe and Selena are making their way out of the Dallas Arena when an SFJ (that damn Susie again) catches up with them.
SFJS: Poe, do you have a second?
SG: Wow, it suddenly reeks of skank and wet dog in here.
Poe: What do you want?
SFJS: Your match was awfully short this week, and had it not been for the save from Stank and the the Five, you would have lost your title tonight. Any comments?
Poe looks enraged, but then snickers.
Poe: Silly girl, you see this is why I hate all you little bitches running around backstage. You fail to see the big picture.
SFJS: Um, it looked like a big picture of Davin Moreland embarassing you in the middle of the ring.
Poe just glares at Susie. Selena smiles and steps between them.
SG: Listen...Floozie, is it?
SFJS: It's Sus...
SG: Yeah, I really don't care. Listen...floozy, you're about five seconds away from getting Crucifixed through the Auntie Anne's catering table and trust me, pretzel salt is the last thing YOUR bad skin needs, so take my advice and run away now...screaming if you'd prefer.
SFJ Susie feels oddly confident.
SFJS: And if I don't?
Selena grins wickedly, reaches into her bag and pulls out a tazer.
SG: *best Pacino impersonation she can do* Then you'll say hello to my little friend *clak clak buzz buzz*
Selena then grabs the microphone from her and waves.
SG: Smile for the camera Floozy. *holding the microphone up for Poe* Master? Speak.
Poe smiles at Selena, then glares into the camera.
Poe: It's been nearly two months since I nearly sent Ecosystem's...
SG: Eco-suck.
Poe: ...head into the stands at Hell On Earth. Since then, I've been slacking, and to be quite frank, haven't looked like much of a champion.
Selena pulls the mic away with a look of surprise.
SG: Master? Are you...
Poe: That stops NOW! No more Fun-Poe in the ring. No more playing around. It's time I started destroying men in that ring again. For two months now, I've sat back and watched by comrades have all the fun. Well now, it's time for the Master of All That is Holy to start having some fun again.
Selena starts bouncing with excitement.
Poe: Trust me...the OOWF has yet to see what I am truly capable of, and it starts next week in...where are we heading?
SG: Some backwater inbred freakshow town in Mississippi.
Poe shudders.
Poe: It starts with the Midnight Sons. Stank...thanks...that's all you'll get from me, and this is the last I will speak of tonight. From this moment forward, it's the new Poe.
SG: Like the New Coke?
Poe stares at Selena.
Poe: You're too young to remember New Coke.
SG: Oh yeah...how did I know that?
Kayfabe drops the newspaper she was reading while sitting on an equipment case, rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
Poe: As I was saying,
SG: you know, you should probably end this now before it becomes an Uncle Moose promo.
Poe: Et tu Selena?
SG: DUDE! Do they have Shrimp et-tu-fe in Mississippi?! I want some!
Poe shakes his head, places his arm around Selena, and kisses her head.
Poe: Let's go, the limo's waiting.
As they leave, Selena rushes back to the Auntie Anne's catering table and grabs two pretzels, then rushes back to Poe handing him one.
SG: I love these things.
Poe: Me too.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:30:57 GMT -5
Poe and Selena stalk into The Chamber, still angry about the DQ, and about the Skanky Female Journalist (tm), when Poe spies Firewoman and Lucky leaving her locker room with her stuff. He flies into a rage as he goozles her against the wall.
L: What the f--
SG: Oo...more violence!
Poe: You......you knew they were going to do that?
FW: (gurgling) What? .... *cough* .... who?
Poe: Moreland's lackeys. You think I don't know you've got a soft spot for Mr. Madison?
L: Um...Poe....
FW: I think ... *cough* .... what you don't know *gasp* is that you made *gasp* a very bad *cough* mistake.
With that Firewoman reaches up with both hands and targets Poe right in the eyes. He lets go of her throat instantly before any significant damage can be done. Fire slumps to the wall and rubs her neck.
SG: This violence I don't like! Stop!
FW: You come at me like that again, you better make sure to not leave my hands free.
Poe: You've been dropping hints for weeks. "The Boy will understand."
FW: Dude, I haven't had any contact with...him... since we formed this merry band of ours. I've been locked in here since last week's Mayhem--
Poe: Except for your trip out for latte
FW: -- And there's no way either of them would come here.
Poe: You got a message.
Lucky: Which she turned down.
FW: Get over yourself, O-mar (stressing each syllable, mocking him). Yeah, Alex will understand in time, but that has nothing to do with you. The world doesn't revolve around you and your mind games.
Firewoman smirks
FW: Although, it's interesting how quickly I seem to have gotten into your head. I'll have to remember that.
A staredown begins......and then ends with the arrival of the rest of the group.
LDW: We miss something?
FW: Nothing important. I'm hitting the road. See y'all in the next town.
Firewoman leaves with Lucky behind her.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:31:28 GMT -5
Fade in on an EMT putting on the last butterfly bandage over the stitches on the forehead of a rather bloody Ravenna Blue.
EMT: There you go. That should do you right up.
RB: Thanks. You’re a peach.
She starts to get up off the gurney as the EMT tries to stop her.
EMT: You really should lie down.
RB: Around here, lying down is not a good thing. Trust me.
She gets up and starts to make her way down the hallway of random interviews, wiping the blood off her face with her crumpled up cape.
Before she can avoid her, SFJ#16 rushes to her and starts asking questions as the two continue down the hallway.
SFJ#16: So Ravenna, you took quite the beating in the ring tonight. I take it you will be okay to fight next weekend?
RB: Yes, a few stitches and I am good as new.
SFJ#16: They say that since your attack last year, you’re avoiding crowd work. Is there anything to that?
RB: I’m not avoiding anything.
SFJ#16: So then it didn’t bother you when you were thrown in the crowd tonight by Evans from Team Fuel?
RB: Of course not, crowd work is part of the job.
SFJ#16: Not even when you heard that your attacker, Jake Walker was let out early per the terms of his plea bargain?
Ravenna stops walking and looks directly at SFJ#16, the parts of her face not covered in smeared blood seem to blanch. She says nothing, but seems to be searching SFJ#16’s expression for sincerity.
SFJ#16: Had you not heard then?
Ravenna exhales heavily and starts back down the hall with a faster step. SFJ#16’s heels click down the hallway after her. Ravenna spins on her heels and stops SFJ#16 short. She speaks to her in a low tone.
RB: That’s enough.
SFJ#16 stops and watches Ravenna turn back around and move towards her dressing room. SFJ#16 turns to face the camera.
SFJ#16: Well, that was interesting. Back to you.
Camera turns and fades out on Ravenna storms around a corner, away from view.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:31:56 GMT -5
*Fade in* to Team Fuel wrapping things up before they get ready to travel to the next Mayhem.
Chris "Lionheart" Evans: Damn, that was some fight last night, huh?
"Bulletproof" Bryce Larson: No shit. That guy was EVERYWHERE!
C"L"E: What guy?
"B"BL: That--
C"L"E: Nayr? That was crazy! Where did he come from?
"B"BL: Some mythical land, I think. One with fairies and Hooters waitresses that date midgets.
C"L"E: No! I mean where did he come from to attack us in the match!
"B"BL: Ohhhhh! I'd imagine he got into the lockerroom hiding under a catering cart or something. Possibly inside a carafe. He's little, you know.
C"L"E: Okay...yeah, maybe. But you need to understand something. the entire ringside area was holding mirrors. Your nemesis isn't real, Bryce. IT'S A MIRROR!
"B"BL: You know, if this were television, or radio, maybe a book or even some fantasy world booked by people on a message board from their parent's basement, I'd be inclined to believe you. But it's not, Chris! It's real, it's DAMN REAL!
C"L"E: Now you're quoting Kurt Angle.
"B"BL: Huh?
C"L"E: ...
"B"BL: Okay, how about this one...
C"L"E: ...
"B"BL: It's time to play the game!
C"L"E: Well, that's easy. Triple H.
"B"BL: Enough is enough, and it's time for a change!
C"L"E: C'mon, that's Owen Hart.
"B"BL: You can't see me!
C"L"E: John Cena!
"B"BL: I'm the showstoppa!
C"L"E: Shawn Michaels. Keep going, I'm on a roll!
"B"BL: And that's fishing line...
C"L"E: Tricky...cause Shark Boy said so!
"B"BL: Try this...You win thisth matsh, you gonna go to da pay winduh, if you weeeeeell.
C"L"E: Dusty Rhodes!
"B"BL: Finally...!
C"L"E: The Rock!
"B"BL: You can take that belt, shine it up real nice, and stick it straight up your candy ass!
C"L"E: The Rock, c'mon, do more!
"B"BL: I'll take your candy ass to the corner of Know Your Role Boulevard and Jabroni Drive!
C"L"E: The Rock! Same guy, c'mon!
"B"BL: If you smmmemmmmmeelllllllllllll....what THE ROCK...is cookin'!
C"L"E: THE ROCK! Jesus Christ, that's the same fucking guy!
"B"BL: It is?
C"L"E: Yeah.
"B"BL: Same guy, just different instances?
C"L"E: Yes!
"B"BL: Huh. Just like my nemesis in the crowd, asshole!
C"L"E: [Shakes head.]
*Fade out*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:32:26 GMT -5
r: *breathing*
m: why are you breathing so heavy?
r: im really horny
h: *breathing*
m: im gonna go
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:32:48 GMT -5
Poe and Selena have arrived in Philadelphia, Mississippi (yay). They enter the arena and start meandering the hallways towards Chamber V. As they turn a corner, Poe turns around and sees Matte standing against a wall, obviously trying to look away.
Poe and Selena continue their odyssey through the arena. Upon turning another corner, Selena turns and sees Matte hide behind a pile of equipment cases.
SG: Um...Omar...
Poe: I know. Keep walking.
Selena takes Poe's hand and walks slightly ahead of him. They get to a small flight of stairs and stop. Poe grins and leads Selena up the stairs, then lets her go ahead before stopping. They turn around and Matte starts up the stairs before stopping in his tracks upon realizing Poe has led him here.
In a flash Poe decends a couple of steps and grabs Matte by the throat before he can get away.
Poe: You've become a pest Matte. Why have you been following me the last few weeks?
M: *gurgle* Davin...he...
Poe: I know, I saw the promo Matte. Did he pay you?
Poe squeezes harder so Matte can't answer.
Poe: Doesn't matter. Davin Moreland had his moment...
Selena golf claps.
SG: Great to be the a booker.
Poe: Well, Matte, this I can control...
Poe lets go of Matte's throat long enough to grab him and lift him for a Crucifix and throws him down the remaining steps onto the concrete floor with a thud.
SG: *raises arms* Goooooooal! Perfect 10 on the landing!
Poe descends the stairs and kneels over Matte.
Poe: So Matte, how does it feel to be Davin's little bitch today?
M: *groaning in pain* Whatever.
Poe looks back at Selena, whose eyes are wide with antici...pation.
Poe: Yes...whatever.
Poe grabs Matte by the hair, makes him get up and then steps onto an equipment case. He lifts Matte up...
~OBELISK~
Matte lays prone on the equipment case, not moving. Selena rushes over and leans over Matte.
SG: Smile for the camera Mattey.
Selena makes an unconscious Matte smile.
Poe: Nevermore...Moreland.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:33:18 GMT -5
*OOWF Medical Tent*
Alexander Darling is getting stitched up and having a bandage once again place on his nose. Alexis Darling is sitting nearby reading The Wrestling Observer Newsletter.
Alexis: Hey Alex, Meltzer thinks you made a mistake by giving Poe so much notice for your title shot. He feels it devalues the upcoming shows since it's a guarantee Poe won't lose the title until then. And he feels you haven't had a good match in a while and putting the belt on you at this point would be a mistake.
Alexander: First, Meltzer can go fuck himself. Second, I can't do anything about good matches when I'm being booked against the new guy.
Alexis: For the 900th time, you're not wrestling a new guy. You're wrestling the 3rd member of IHOP. The forgetful dude.
Alexander: Did you just say dude? Anyway, I know I'm facing the guy in IHOP. He's new. They needed a third guy for their stupid Guitar Rock Star Band Hero thing.
Alexis: Oh for the love of christ. HE'S NOT NEW. He's been here for over a year. He's the guy that people always hit with a door and Eric would say HA!
Alexander: Hey, I remember that guy...didn't I send his ass packing?
Alexis: NO. You're wrestling him Wednesday.
Alexander: No, not the new guy. Eric. Anyway...I'm not wrestling either one of them. Let's go.
Alexis: Where are we going?
Alexander and Alexis leave the medical tent and head through the OOWF hallways of non-random sightings or potential violence. They finally get to GMtR's office and of course, without knocking, they enter the office. Rick is watching Dayton Flyers basketball.
GMtR: You know that thing you just walked through?
Alexander: The door?
GMtR: Yes, the door. It's there for a reason.
Alexander: Like I give a fuck. Listen, I want my match changed?
GMtR: I think the exact words were, "Like I give a fuck." I don't see why you think you have any right to come in here and demand anything.
Alexander: Because this time, what I'm demanding is good for business.
GMtR: Oh, is that so? What is it you want Alex?
Alexander: No one wants to see me wrestle some new guy jobber.
Alexis: Don't bother telling him who it is Rick. I've tried...god help me, I've tried.
GMtR: Fine, then who do they want to see you wrestle?
Alexander: It's quite simple, Poe wants to start sending his acolytes after me, then let's give him what they want. Give me NAKA.
GMtR: I can't authorize that. He's not a member of our roster and if something were to happen to you, the board would be all over my ass for losing one of our wrestlers because of a match against someone outside this company.
Alexis: We'll sign the necessary waivers.
GMtR: You're not listening. I don't care about your health. I care about the bottom line.
Alexander: The bottom line is getting the J-Cup Champion, and current NOAH Jr. Heavyweight Champion into an OOWF ring will bring huge DVD buys from smarks on messageboards. And the fact is, if you don't give me what I want, maybe I'll just take my ball and go home to relax until New Year's Evil.
GMtR: I can't believe I'm going to ask this...but, are you sure you want to do this Alex? I know the story of what you did to these guys in Japan. I know how you betrayed all of them and hurt all of them in the worst possible way by spitting on their legacies.
Alexander: I'm touched by your concern, but I've been beaten by worse.
GMtR: Alex, you and I both know he isn't here to beat you. He's here to hurt you.
Alexis: Rick, seriously...we appreciate what you're saying, but if Alex wants this match, give him the match.
Alexander: Thank you sister darling.
GMtR: You got it. I'll find something else for The Amnesiac this week. Alexander Darling vs. Ando Naka...
Alexander: No, I don't want Ando Nakamura...I WANT NAKA.
GMtR: I'm not sure I see the difference.
Alexander: You wouldn't. But Poe and NAKA will. Just pass that along. NAKA, not Ando.
GMtR: Fine, Alexander Darling vs. NAKA has been signed.
Alexis and Alexander leave the office and just as they walk out, we hear Alexis...
Alexis: He has a point, you know. NAKA isn't here to pin you. He's here to destroy you.
Alexander: I know, but thank god for one thing...
Alexis: What's that?
Alexander: Simple, I'm Alexander Darling, and well, he's just not.
*Fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:33:41 GMT -5
<Davin Moreland is walking down the Hallway of Random Encounters when he comes across kz standing there>
DM: Uh huh, so this is how its going to be?
MHJ: What?
DM: Poe sent you two to attack Davin Moreland because Davin Moreland embarrassed Poe?
LDW: Nope, we are not going to attack you
DM: You’re not
LDW: Nope
MHJ: But he is
<just then Stank charges in with a chair but Davin ducks the shot and peppers Stank with a few shots to the face, but kz jump in and chop block Davin sending him to the floor. Fire joins in and they put the boots to Davin. Stank pulls Davin to his knees and kz hold the chair in front of his face and Poe charges in with a boot that sends the chair into Moreland’s face and sends him reeling to the floor. Poe pulls Davin into a camel clutch and snarls as he leans back as far as he can, trying to snap him in two. Selena tugs on Moose’s arm and hands him the barbed wire baseball bat he gave her as a gift. Moose takes the bat and rakes it across Moreland’s face, drawing copious amounts of blood. Fire picks up the chair and is about to slam it across Davin’s face when Ravenna Blue, Ecosystem, Tytan, Concrete TG and Matt Folz storm into the hall with chairs. The Five beat a hasty retreat dropping Davin to the concrete floor, the damage having already been done>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:34:05 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams pulls Firewoman aside after the attack on Davin**
LDW: “If you had anything to do with Phantos and Lucios showing up-”
**Firewoman snarls and turns on Williams.**
F: “Do NOT start with me.”
**Williams raises an eyebrow and Fire shakes her head.**
F: “Fine, get it out of your system.”
LDW: “If you had anything to do with it...see if you can talk them into coming back full time.”
F: “What?”
LDW: “The OOWF is a more competitive place with P&L in it.”
F: “You should have thought of THAT before you-”
LDW: “Sent the message The Five had to send? I did – which is why he's still walking.”
F: “So much for all-for-one...”
LDW: “We've all got our own agendas Fire, and all five of us know it. P&L aren't exactly on my Christmas card list, but if they're ready to come back, I want it to be here. I'd rather fight them in the ring than in the ratings, if you will.”
F: “Doesn't matter anyway – I've haven't spoken to him – them.”
LDW: “Whatever you say. Just keep it in mind.”
**Williams walks away as Firewoman stares after him.**
[edited for continuity - take THAT WWE!]
[Edited on 11-13-2009 by WLD]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:34:28 GMT -5
Tytan: Sons of bitches. Run away like cowards.
Eco: They didn't run fast enough.
CTG: For what, Citizen Eco?
Eco: (exchanges look with Tytan, nods.) MOVE.
(Ecosystem runs ahead, Tytan following quickly behind. Folz quickly follows, which starts a bit of a continual mad rush.)
Ravenna: I'm kind of hesitant about this--
CTG: Onward heroes! To the fight!
(Outback Jack pops his head out of the door.)
OBJ: G'day mates, what's all the ruckus--
(Tytan grabs Outback Jack by the collar.)
OBJ: Hey, get off-
Tytan: Run and I let go. (Jack does and he does.) Hey, it's Spin and DH!
Spin: What the hell--
Eco: (running toward them) Remember those nice words you said to me about a unified front?
Spin: Yes?
Eco: Would you be willing, as an equal partner contributing input, to jump into this large mob and run and not ask any questions?
Spin: Listen, all I asked was that you let me know--
(Alexander Darling pokes his head out from behind the door, bandaged up.)
AD: Why is there a stampede--
Folz: You're not real happy with Poe these days, right kid?
AD: Don't call me k--
(Outback Jack picks Alexander Darling up and continues running.)
OBJ: Sorry mate, you're coming along.
AD: What the--Where am I going?
OBJ: Well, I'm not sure, but I'll put you down if you'll run along.
(He does so. The group continues running, Midnight Sons looking on confused. They run out into the parking lot.)
Tytan: Hey Eco?
Eco: Yes?
Tytan: Where are we going?
Eco: After The Five.
Tytan: And where did they go?
Eco: Oh.
(There is a long pause.)
Eco: Shit.
Ravenna: You could have stood to think that one through.
(LD Williams walks out of the arena, smirk on his face after talking to Firewoman.)
CTG: HARK! IT'S WILLIAMS!
LD: (assuming an offensive posture.) "...No, this is actually a bad idea."
(LD runs back into the arena, locking the door behind him as the assembled wrestlers pound on the door to be let back in.)
LD: "They're starting to organize a bit better...not going to fall for it though."
Voice: DID SOME-A-BODY SAY FALL?
LD: "What the--"
Voice: GERONIMO-MA MIA!
(Super Mario drops from the ceiling and lands on top of LD Williams, knocking him flat to the ground.)
SM: NOW ATTSA HOW YOU MAKE-A A PIZZA PIE!
(Super Mario runs off.)
LD: "Ow."
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:34:50 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is WIPING~! blood off his face. Blue, Eco, Tytan, Crete and Folz all kind of crowd around him until Davin gets the "I stopped taking my meds" look, and they slowly back away. Conveniently, there's a live mic that Davin picks up, and he wipes the blood off his face again*
DM: It's funny, you know? Davin Moreland made the World Champion tap like a little bitch in the middle of the ring in about 3 minutes. However, Stank Fattapotamus decided...oh who knows what he decided...he was hungry maybe? And he cost Davin Moreland my 4th OOWF World Heavyweight Championship.
DM: Davin Moreland isn't angry though...no...*wipes blood, adding to the "off-the-meds" look* No, Davin Moreland isn't angry. Davin Moreland is thrilled. Davin Moreland is overjoyed. Davin Moreland has found the chink in the armor. As Davin Moreland thought, the weakness is within. No pecking order. No separate agendas. All about the Ochocinco. Davin Moreland sees that we've all found that that isn't the case.
DM: As far as Davin Moreland is concerned, Davin Moreland is the Uncrowned World Heavyweight Champion. Davin Moreland made Poe the [redacted] tap like a little bitch inside the middle of the ring (again). Poe the [redacted] can thank Stank Fattapotamus for single-handedly allowing Davin Moreland to be the Uncrowned World Heavyweight Champion. Davin Moreland is sure that won't be a point of contention in the next few days. Oh, by the way Poe, how's the ankle?
DM: As far as this week, Davin Moreland is up against Empty Jack, and, well, Davin Moreland pretty much owns the once-great Empty Jack at this point, so Davin Moreland supposes this is some sort of ruse booking left over from Lucky the Jets Fan's days of impersonating a General Manager in order for the Ochocinco to interrupt another match of Davin Moreland's.
DM: Fine. Davin Moreland knows how to play this game. Besides, Davin Moreland is the Uncrowned World Heavyweight Champion...Davin Moreland can handle anything the Ochocinco wants to throw at Davin Moreland.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:35:20 GMT -5
Moosehead Jack is SITTING in The Chamber looking pissed as hell. I mean, more than usual. Firewoman comes in and sees him.
FW: What are you looking all snarly about.
Moose holds up a letter and gives it to Firewoman. She reads it, and then begins to laugh. While she's laughing, LD Williams comes in.
LD: What's so funny?
FW: Moose got grounded. Look.
LD: (reading aloud) "Due to your physical contact with OOWF Official Sterling Glaw, you are to be confined to your locker room areas or accompanied by OOWF security should you need to leave." Wow.
Firewoman is still laughing.
MHJ: It's not fucking funny.
FW: Oh, but it was last week, when it was me who had to stay put. But now, look at me. Free as a bird! I can step out...
She skips out to the hallway
I can step in.
She skips back in.
I can step out....I can step in.....out....in.....out.....in.
Moosehead Jack lunges at her but she steps deftly out into the hallway. Moose tries to follow but two OOWF security guards, armed with Tasers step into his way. Firewoman continues laughing.
MHJ: Tasers? Seriously?
SG1: We learned our lesson from that one last week.
Firewoman waves over the security guards' shoulders. Moose steps away from the door and they get back to their posts.
MHJ: You have to come back in here sometime.
FW: No I don't. But you can have my box of pencils if you want.
Moose growls and pretends to lunge for the door again, which makes Firewoman flinch. She laughs again and saunters down the hall. Moose turns and looks at LD, who is trying really really hard not to laugh.
MHJ: Don't even.
LD: Sorry....I was going to see if you wanted to get a beer, but maybe I'll see what your sister is doing instead.
Moose glares at LD, as LD also leaves. LD breaks into a full on laugh as he runs to catch up with Firewoman.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:35:49 GMT -5
Selena comes in to Chamber V holding a box behind her back.
SG: Hi Uncle Moose!
MHJ: Hello Mouse.
SG: I heard you got grounded. Bummer dude.
MHJ: Yes...bummer.
Selena smiles and holds out the box wrapped in newspaper.
SG: Here! This is for you!
Moose smirks and takes the box. He looks it over.
MHJ: Wrapped in newspaper. I'm flattered Mouse.
SG: Best I could do short notice. Open it!
Moose unwraps the box and it's the OOWF Official Tytan Blow-up Punching Bag.
SG: I figured you might get bored and angry...so yeah, there ya go!
MHJ: Thank you Mouse.
SG: I woulda got Master a Davin Suckland one...but they keep selling out.
MHJ: Much like him.
SG: Yeah, and I guess people really wanna punch him in the face.
MHJ: That too.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:36:29 GMT -5
*The members of Drink & Destroy have regrouped in the Destroyitarium, where they are sitting around a large table, staring at an empty pitcher*
SH: I can't believe we ran out of beer.
DHM: I knew we shouldn't have given Adam the weekend off.
OBJ: But his grandmother died.
DHM: Both of Steve's grandmothers died last year.
OBJ: So?
DHM: He and Adam are twins, remember?
WBK: No worries, mates, the beer truck will be here any minute. We won't be thirsty for long.
An Heroic Voice: You can say that again, Citizen!
*Concrete TG strides in, carrying a large pitcher of a dark purple liquid, and places it reverently on the table*
CTG: It's my own secret recipe - a combination of a protein shake, some low-fat yogurt, and 11 fruits and vegetables! All the nutrients and antioxidants a superhero in training needs to fight EVIL!
*OBJ and the Midnight Sons are stunned. The Sons look at the pitcher like it was someone handing them a lightly grilled weasel on a bun. OBJ actually likes lightly grilled weasel on a bun, so he looks at it like, well, like he looks at any non-alcoholic beverage. Wally B King is the first to recover. He stands up and puts his arm around Crete, carefully turning him away from the table*
WBK: I love the material of this cape. I was thinking of getting a suit in this color. Who's your tailor?
*Drink and Destroy spring into action. Mags vaults over the bar with surprising agility for a man his size, grabs a bottle of vodka, and tosses it to Spin. Spin unscrews the top abd hans it to Jack, who warily approaches Crete's pitcher and dumps the vodka in, then tosses the empty bottle back to Mags, who hides it behind the bar just as Crete turns back to the table.*
CTG: Now I know this isn't your usual choice of beverage...
OBJ: No worries, mate. We'll have a go at it. Mags just went to get clean glasses.
CTG: Then my work here is done! *gathers cape, dashes out*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:36:58 GMT -5
*Some Gym*
At some gym in East Bumblefuck, MS...
what, no cheap pop?
Anyways, at some gym a few wrestlers are going through the motions in the ring. As the camera focuses we see that it's Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin, The Motor City Machine Guns and they are working with Alexander Darling. At the moment, Chris Sabin has damn near took Alexander's head off with a Yakuza Kick. Sabin shoves Darling towards Shelley who takes Darling up an over with a High Release German Suplex. Shelley doesn't let up as he follows Darling into the corner. He drags Alex out and flips him onto his stomach. Shelley twists Darlings legs around his own and then bridges back and locks Darling in a reverse choke...It's the NAKA LOCK. It doesn't take more than just a few seconds for Darling to start tapping. Shelley quickly releases the hold while Darling slams the mat in frustration. Sabin makes his way over and extends a hand to help Darling to his feet.
Alexander: I'm in trouble if he gets that on me, aren't I?
The Guns look between one another and they both nod.
Shelley: AD, we've been friends for a while, I guess, and you're damn talented. Maybe one of the best in the business today, but this is one of the legends in Japan. You know there's only person who's ever found a counter for the NAKA LOCK.
Sabin: And sorry to tell you, but he's the guy who brought NAKA in to take you out.
Alexander: You think I don't know that.
Sabin: Sometimes I wonder with you.
Alexander: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Shelley: It's nothing.
Sabin: It is something and it's time he hears it.
Alexander: Well...
Sabin: You've got a Napoleon complex.
Alexander: I've got a what now? I'm taller than you midget.
Shelley: It's not what he means. From the day you walked into the gym in Philly and said you wanted to be a wrestler, nothing was ever good enough for you or by you.
Alexander: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Shelley: You had a rough start with the fans in Philly and New York, but you were getting there. It was only a matter of time before they say what Austin and Bryan and Punk all saw in you. But it wasn't good enough, you wanted it now, now, now. And when you didn't get it, you bailed.
Alexander: I bailed because I wasn't going to let Delirious ruin...
Sabin: Look, you know I'm not his biggest fan, but he was only part of the reason you left. You thought you deserved better from the fans. And maybe you did, but you bailed and went to Japan. And then, somehow, someway, you wind up working with one of their biggest stars. He takes you...
Shelley: Hold on a sec, Chris. Let's talk about Japan, shall we? How did you wind up with Poe anyway? Here's a guy who was basically running NOAH. He had his acolytes all over the world, some even with him in Japan and yet, basically, a rookie from the United States winds up as his protege.
Alexander: Don't worry about it.
Sabin: I don't get you Alex. Why can't you just be...
Shelley: He's right Chris, it's not a big deal.
Sabin: But...
Shelley slaps Sabin across to back and both notice that Alexander's eyes keep darting across the gym to where Alexis is sitting and talking to Shawn Johnson.
Alexander: Wait, what?
Sabin: Nevermind. Onto important matters, Ando Nakamura...why the fuck did you make sure to ask that the match was against NAKA and not Ando?
Alexander: Because, if Poe wants to send his bitches after me, I may as well get the best.
Shelley: And Ando is one of the best junior heavyweights in the world, that's not good enough for you?
Alexander: Honestly, no. I've already taken Ando out once.
Sabin: Yea, but that was when he didn't know you were coming for him. Face-to-face, even Ando would give you trouble for what you did to him and Poe. But NAKA, NAKA will try and fucking kill you Alex.
Alexander: Not if I kill him first.
Shelley: And what happens, if he gets the NAKA LOCK on? What are you going to do then? As Ando, if you tapped, he'd let go after a few seconds. As NAKA, he won't let go and you know it. He's going into that ring to make sure you don't make it to New Year's Evil.
Alexander: I'll make it. No matter what. Don't doubt that.
Sabin: Alex, we've all wrestled Ando. We can help you against that. We have been helping you for that. If it was Ando, I wouldn't doubt you...but NAKA is more than a man.
Alexander: NO ONE is more than a man. I proved that with Poe and I'll prove it with NAKA. Now are we going to get back to work...or are you two going to sit here and talk my ear off like bitches.
Alexis has finally made her way over...
Alexis: Brother dear, stop talking to our friends like their members of The Five. And no, you're not getting back to work. We have plans tonight as do the Machine Guns. They have tag belts to win and we're all headed down to Orlando for the show. The car is ready. Let's go.
Alexander looks pissed that he won't be able to work out anymore, but he nods and heads to the back. Sabin and Shelley are about to follow when Alexis grabs their arms.
He's in trouble, isn't he?
Shelley: If he doesn't get his head focused, NAKA and Poe are going to take it off for him.
Sabin: There's no doubt in any of our minds, that he could win...but, he thinks he can handle everything on his own. Do you trust us Lexie?
Alexis: As much as I can trust anyone in this business, I guess.
Shelley: We have something we want to talk to you about, but we have to make a call first. We'll talk more after the show tonight. We'll all go out for drinks.
Alexis looks worried as Sabin and Shelley head out to get ready for their PPV tonight.
*Fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:37:21 GMT -5
Tytan is still here.
(The camera has finally caught up to Tytan who has been rather silent the last couple of days.)
Tytan: Well for those who have wondered and for those who actually gave a damn where I have been. I have been keeping to myself lately. As the sides to this war are finally taking shape. You see I am not a leader, I come in I do my job in the ring and that's it. Eco he is the man that is going to lead the troops that are going to defeat the Five. I will follow orders and continue on with the good fight.
But you see I have been in my Sanctuary training and also writing I am halfway home in completing the challenge for the NANOWRIMO (.org) I am still training and I realized that it is time to go back to my roots. Time to go back to what got me to this point.
(Just then the camera pans around and sees Randy Couture.)
RC: Are you ready to get back to some training? And cut these damn promos.
Tytan: I'll be there. Just remember Moose I am winning right now. But come Mayhem no DQ. Those brass knucks may find away to put another hole in that empty head of yours. Fire you want to do what you have to do to protect your dear old brother then go ahead. I mean you are tougher then him but I won't hesitate to rekindle the hatred we have for each other.
(And then Tytan decides he is done with something and removes the mask he has worn for so long.)
Tytan: Wounds heal but the scars will always remain. Tytan is coming for you Moose and I will break you again!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:37:43 GMT -5
Firewoman is WALKING~! the halls, back from the bar with LD. They see the promo by Tytan on the ever-present OOWF Video Players. They look at each other.
LDW: I'll be back. Play nice.
FW: Always.
Firewoman wanders around a corner to enter the Hallway of Random Encounters, where she sees Tytan flexing his muscles. She smirks, walks up behind him, kicks him in the back of the knee. His knee hits the cement floor...hard.
T: Ow...dammit.
FW: Just so you know, genius. I don't need to 'rekindle' my hatred for you. It burns just as brightly and sparkly as ever.
T: You are going to be so sorry you did that. He flexes his knee a bit, but stays down.
FW: I can't imagine a scenario where that would be the case.
T: How 'bout the scenario where you're outnumbered?
Randy Couture comes back out from the gym to see what's keeping Tytan.
FW: Well, finally someone around here who does know how to fight.
RC: Firewoman right? I'm actually kind of a fan. You know, there's women's divisions in the MMA world, and--
FW: Yeah, no thanks. Not my cup of tea. Too many rules.
RC: Well, ... dude, why are you kneeling?
T: Cos she kicked me in the fuckin' knee!
RC: That's not cool. Tytan's a friend of mine, and what you do to him, you do to me.
FW: If you insist.
Firewoman goes to land a kick to Couture's knee as well, but he's more than ready for it. He grabs her leg and gets her down to the ground and starts to wrap her up in a lock, when her free hand reaches toward his face and claws at his eyes. There's a battle of wills as to who will let go first, but eventually, the fingers to the eyes wins, and Couture releases his hold, falling backwards with his hands to his face.
FW: (gasping a bit for breath, but now standing) See, now in MMA, that would be against the rules. And you all continue to leave my hands free...
Tytan has recovered, since it was just a bruise, and comes behind Firewoman. He gets Firewoman into a full nelson, and cranks down hard.
T: Are your hands free now? Huh?
Firewoman can't answer, of course, so Tytan just continues the hold. Suddenly he's forced to release it, as Firewoman falls to the ground, regaining consciousness. She looks up and sees the reason he's forced to release it is because Poe came up behind Tytan and nailed him with a double axe handle to the back. Poe gets Tytan into position and lands The Pendulum onto a pile of Conveniently Stacked Cardboard Boxes. He turns to Firewoman and offers a hand to help her up. She looks at it and refuses to take it, instead choosing to roll behind Poe and knock Couture down with a drop toe hold. She leaps up onto his back, and starts to get ready for a Firestomp.
Poe: Do you think that wise?
FW: Huh?
Poe: Well, as it doesn't appear wisdom is your strong suit these days, let me explain. It was not wise for you to dismiss LD and then go after Tytan by yourself. It was not wise to continue to go after him when a very accomplished and very dangerous MMA superstar was his training partner. It was not wise to claw said MMA superstar in the eyes, and I'm sure GM the Rick will be the first to tell you that, after me. It will further not be wise to Firestomp the aforementioned superstar into the concrete, since Rick would not like that either, and you would be out of commission, suspended, and thus have to give up your belt.
FW: Fine. I should have just let him attack you from behind?
Poe: Not at all. I should have thanked you for that. I was just kind of surprised.
FW: Huh. Me too.
She lets Couture's arms and legs fall with a thud. Poe looks down at him with contempt.
Poe: Mr. Couture, I apologize for my colleague's... impulsiveness. (He looks over to Tytan) As for you, ex-partner. You should have known better. But then, you never will be the brains of the outfit. C'mon Lione-- er, Firewoman. Let's see if we can head back to the Chamber without further incident.
Firewoman looks at Poe warily for a moment, and then nods. The two head off to the Chamber.
Poe: I'm probably the last person you'll take advice from--
FW: No. But close.
Poe: You need to choose your battles. This impulsiveness will not serve the interests of the Five, and it will be your undoing.
FW: Moose promised me if I joined, no one...not even you... would control me or what I felt I needed to do.
Poe: Moose is only barely aware of what you are capable.
FW: So are you.
Firewoman walks in to the Chamber's suites, and to her locker room and slams the door. Poe follows in shortly.
Poe: (Yelling through the door) You're welcome!
Moose and LD appear to be in deep conversation, possibly involving LD being cross-examined about his recent night on the town.
MHJ: What's all that about?
Poe: We need to talk.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:38:09 GMT -5
<Later on, Moose is sitting in the Chamber looking more surly than usual. He is watching footage of OOWFtv, but clearly too miserable to pay much attention. Selena comes bouncing into the room and plops down on the couch next to him> SG: Hi Uncle Moose MHJ: Hmph SG: You know, if you hadn’t made fun of Fire when she was grounded, she wouldn’t have made fun of you MHJ: Hmph <a long silence passes between them as they watch Tytan’s promo> SG: So……..Tytan is going to break you? MHJ: Tytan can bite my ass <Selena recoils a bit at the language> SG: UNCLE MOOSE! MHJ: Seriously, he beat me. Big fucking deal. I am not even going to complain about using the brass knucks because we all know had I got them first, I sure as hell would have used them first. But Tytan, if you think this proves ANYTHING you are as dumb as you look, and that is truly astonishing. The fact remains, I don’t care WHO you train with, what you inject into your body, what that little Machiavelli Eco pumps into your brain, you cannot break me. Period. Many before you have tried, and they have all failed. When the dust clears, I will be left standing, The Five will be left standing, and you? You will be just another footnote in OOWF history, the man who fluked a win over Moosehead Jack. SG: So, Tytan cheated to beat you? But isn’t he supposed to be a face? How are we supposed to tell? MHJ: Look at his wrist SG: Huh? MHJ: Thanks to The Best Friends Forever……. SG: Who? MHJ: Hardbody Harris and Chris Alt, they were a bit before your time. Thanks to them, every OOWF member has a wristband that easily identifies them as face or heel <Selena looks at her wrist and suddenly realizes that she is in fact wearing a wrist band> SG: OMIGOSH! When did I get that? It’s black too! MHJ: Yes, because you are a heel, all of ours are black. If you look, Tytan and Eco and the rest of those morons wrist bands are all white, that means they are faces. Good guys. SG: But……why are some of them gray? MHJ: That means they are tweeners. Not quite faces, not quite heels, like Davin Moreland, the fans cheer him, but he is still the same douchebag he has always been. As he gets more and more douchey, it turns darker and darker. SG: Cool! <Selena gets up and starts back to her room when she stops and turns back to Moose> SG: Did you see Master helped out Fire? MHJ: I did SG: Do you think that means they like each other now? MHJ: Like each other? SG: You know, like not want to kill each other MHJ: I think this means they have a tolerance for one another, for the moment. <Selena frowns> SG: Why does Fire hate Master? MHJ: It’s a long story SG: But they are so much alike MHJ: That’s part of the problem SG: This has something to do with Japan doesn’t it? MHJ: There are some things you are better off not knowing. <Just then Firewoman comes into the room and Selena scampers off to her room> FW: What was that all about? MHJ: Nothing. Mind telling me what you are doing? FW: Enjoying my freedom, aren’t you?...........Ohhhhhhhhhhhh yeah, that’s right! MHJ: Fuck you FW: We are not the Darlings MHJ: Funny. So, did you and LD have a good time? FW:<walking toward her locker room> a Lady never tells MHJ: DO NOT BREAK MY TAG TEAM PARTNER! <fade> |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:38:33 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is STANDING~! near a monitor, where OOWF-TV is being broadcast. He dramatically takes off his sunglasses and stares into the ninja cam. He unbuttons his sleeve and rolls it up, revealing a bright white Team Hardbody bracelet*
DM: Davin Moreland was on Team Hardbody. Davin Moreland understands what Team Hardbody was about. Davin Moreland used his place on Team Hardbody to announce himself fully to the OOWFUniverse.
DM: Perhaps Davin Moreland is, indeed, a douchebag, Moosehead Quinn. Perhaps not. Perhaps, as usual, Moosehead Quinn only sees things as they were six months ago, not as they actually are today.
DM: Moosehead Quinn ostensibly thinks he's still feuding with Concrete Traitor Gryfon. Perhaps Moosehead Quinn doesn't realize that no one has cared about that rivalry for well over a year, possibly almost two years.
DM: Moosehead Quinn likes to live in the past, because that's where his legacy lives...in the past. Moosehead Quinn is like a random appearance of Stone Cold Steve Austin on RAW. You remember you used to like him, so you cheer, but in all honesty, you can't remember why. You cheer for his reputation.
DM: That is Moosehead Quinn. A Hall-of-Fame career. A Legacy. A reputation of brutality and violence. Now? He's Uncle Moose. And he's got the audacity to dare cast value judgments on the biggest star in this promotion, Davin Moreland? The Uncrowned Heavyweight Champion?
DM: Take a good look at this bracelet, Moosehead Quinn. Davin Moreland knows your eyes don't work to good, so Davin Moreland will help you out. It's bright white as if Davin Moreland soaked it in Clorox. This bracelet hasn't left Davin Moreland's wrist since the day it went on due to its significance.
DM: Maybe Moosehead Quinn thinks Davin Moreland is a douchebag. Fine. Moosehead Quinn can rant about whatever he wants as the nurse's aide is bringing him his Cream of Wheat with a straw as he's shaking his fist at the clouds in anger.
DM: Davin Moreland knows, now, that Davin Moreland is on the right side of history. The Ochocinco is nothing more than a cheap imitation of Run DEA. Davin Moreland thinks everyone knows this by now. Run DEA is the Utlimate Warrior. The Ochocinco is The Renegade. Run DEA is Mick Foley. The Ochocinco is Abyss. Both have good qualities in their own right, but in all honesty, it's an obvious knockoff, and everybody, EVERYBODY knows it.
DM: Davin Moreland has made poor choices at times, sure. However, what Moosehead Quinn needs to understand that TODAY, this bracelet is as white as it was the day Davin Moreland set foot in the OOWF. And while it seems The Ochocinco has it out for Davin Moreland, clearly considering Davin Moreland their biggest threat, Davin Moreland will not be deterred. Davin Moreland won't rest until this tyrannical monopoly is broken, no matter how close Davin Moreland or Moosehead Quinn is to the booking committee.
DM: So, OBJ, Davin Moreland will beat you this Wednesday. And Davin Moreland expects the Ochocinco to interfere. Whatever. Davin Moreland is more than ready for any of the weak attacks the Ochocinco can dish out.
DM: You're fucking with the wrong guy, Moosehead Quinn, and Davin Moreland thinks that, deep down, you know that. It's only a matter of time, and by the time your perceptions catch up to reality; Moosehead Quinn will staring at the rubble around him wondering what happened.
DM: Also, Moosehead Quinn? Your bracelet isn't exactly "black" anymore, is it?
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:38:54 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams enters Chamber V.** Moosehead Jack: “Where did you sneak off to?” LDW: “I had something to take care of.” Selena: <Pointing to the television, which is showing OOWF TV.> “Uncle Moose, Look.” MHJ: “Trying to get grounded next week?” LDW: “I was feeling left out.” |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 2, 2010 12:39:58 GMT -5
Chad madison & Zane Myers are watching OOWF-TV from the Chart House Restaurant at the top of the Tower of The Americas in beautiful downtown San Antonio.
Chad: Hey Zane, Do you think we should.....?
Zane: No.
Chad sighs and takes a drink, staring at his Sprint PCS phone
Zane: (watching) It's not going to ring I told you to Move On or we'll never go back
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