OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/Onslaught Tournament 5/11/05

[mooseheadjack]

Live! From South of the Border, South Carolina!

OOWF World Title Match
Donovan Viper vs. Microplay

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
3Piece Set vs. FF Capslock & Stank

Chris Alt vs. UnderDawg
GimmickMan vs. Niles Anderson
Blackdragon vs. Mark Vander
Concrete TG & Moosehead Jack vs. Outback Jack & GatorBait
Revolution XX vs. The Devil's Brigade

Onslaught Championship Tournament - Round 1
Firechild vs. Semaj B
JW Westgaard vs. Uncle Entity
Seraph vs. Mercury
Capellan vs. Corax
Hellion vs. LD Williams
Endo vs. Beast
Canadian Dragon vs. Johnny Adrenaline
Thim Reynolds vs. Attitude Adjuster


blue dog guides me

[mooseheadjack]

The ubiquitous SFJ#83 was on the case once more, tracking down OOWF rookie Capellan, for an interview about the upcoming Onslaught Championship.

"Capellan, do you think the injuries Corax sustained in his brutal match last week will have an impact on your encounter tonight?"

"It's not like I was in a lingerie pillow fight last week, either." Capellan reminded her. "But to answer your question: no, I don't think Corax's last match will matter. He's a tough man, and he's had a week to recover. He'll be firing on all cylinders tonight."

"So do you think you have a chance to win?" SFJ#83 stiltedly asked, "Corax is one of the OOWF's top competitors."

"I'll be honest with you, when I saw Corax's name as my opponent, I was happy." Capellan answered, "Not that I'm taking anything away from Corax as a competitor. Quite the opposite. But what it comes down to is that with Corax, I can be confident in a match where I'll win or lose clean, with no interference. If I'd got someone like Mercury, I'd have to spend the whole match watching over my shoulder for the sneak attack from Non-Entity, or whatever the guy's name is."

"You've had a few run-ins with Mercury so far." SFJ#83 noted, "Do you think he might try to interfere with your match?"

"It's posisble, but Corax has a lot more enemies than I do. It's just as possible that one of them will try to get involved." Capellan turned to face the camera directly, "So Corax, if you're watching, I'll make you this offer: if anyone comes down to the ring during our match and trys to take you down, I've got your back. I want to beat you fair, 1-2-3, or not at all. I hope you'll do the same for me."

[mooseheadjack]

(Uncle Entity is a dark corner of the backstage area)

UE: Another loss. Damnit. That Moosehead Jack really had it out for me. Relentless. Payback's a bitch MHJ. I'll see you again.

Perhaps this tag team isn't how I roll. Never had friends. Never wanted any. Now the Mercury Dust is being banned. What have you done for me lately partner? But on the road ahead, I see an oasis. A title. A distinction. The premiere of a new era and force in the OOWF.

(Mercury pokes his head around the corner)

Merc: Hey, partner, uh, what are you doing back here?

UE: Ah, Mercury. Look partner, I need you to do me a favor. Something to make up for getting pinned in our match with MHJ and Concrete.

Merc: It wasn't my fault, you saw me throw the dust...

Ue: Yes the dust, I know. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Since you won't be doing anything useful the night of the PPV, I need you to concoct some special dust to incapicitate Westgarde for me. If it makes you feel any better, I'll jump the rook Capellen for you. Leave him a mess, not gentle like Concrete and MHJ, but hurting, in despair. I may even screw with his rental car and get him in big trouble with Avis.

Merc: But they said I would be banninated if I used the dust again.

UE: Yes, I know they said that. I just need to know if you value the strength of this team enough enough to risk bannination?

(Mercury walks off, concerned)

Merc: (to himself) If he values this team so much, why is he pursuing singles matches?

[mooseheadjack]

*Chris Alt sits on a bench in his locker room, cell phone at his ear*

CA: OK, so maybe costing Niles his match was overreacting a bit, I admit, but I was PISSED, what else was I going to do?... NO, I'm not going to apologize to him!! Have you lost your freaking mind, woman?... Well, I've got other things to worry about this week... Well, like not getting decimated by Underdawg, and figuring out how to get another title shot against Donovan Viper... Yes darling, getting Camby and O'Neil banned from ringside is a brilliant idea, but I have to get myself a rematch first, and getting rolled over by Underdawg isn't exactly going to scream "this guy deserves a title shot" to the Rick. Especially after Niles beat me at Blood on the Walls. The Rick was already going out on a limb for just giving me that title match after that... What? What are you saying?... Hell no I'm not SCARED of Underdawg! I just-... NO!... I know I can beat him too... Oh, is that so?... That's what you think, huh?... Than why would you say it?... Alright, you're right. I'm going out there tonight and I'm not worrying about Viper or Anderson or anyone else other than Underdawg. And yeah, I WILL beat him... Fine. Sounds good, then.... Yeah, see you when I get home.

*CA hangs up the phone*

CA: Time to get to work, then... Dammit. Why him? Of all people, why him? *sighs and gets up*

*fade to black*

[mooseheadjack]

As the camera fades to black, Chris Alt's lockerroom all of the sudden fills up with smoke.

The camera unfades, and behind Alt is The Underdawg! Chris realizes this and jumps.

UD: Chris Alt. You are an amazing competetor. You have a great future ahead of you in this company. One day, you may even be OOWF champion. You have my respect, as a fellow wrestler.

But next week. At Midweek Mayhem. You will be in my yard. And I will not respect you. Because right now, every single opponent I will face for the next for weeks, no matter who that person is, I will only see Donovan Viper. Each week, I will torture that wrestler worse and worse until Viper and I finally tangle at Blood, Sweat, and Fear.

Chris Alt. Be thankful that you face me next week, instead of the week before Viper's doom.


*The lights flash as smoke envelops once again in Alt's locker room. Underdawg is now gone!

[mooseheadjack]

[Johnny Adrenaline and L.D. Williams are outside The Rick's office, going over the posted lineup for next week's Midweek Mayhem.]

JA: Onslaught Championship?

LDW: Yeah, it's the newest OOWF Title. Didn't you get the memo?

JA: The Rick didn't even send me a memo, you know what he thinks of me, L.D.

LDW: Don't worry about it. It's gonna be like a "pure wrestling title."

JA: Huh?

LDW: No shenanigans, no cheating, all that stuff.

JA: Hmmm... hey, sounds like it's right up my alley. [L.D. gives Johnny a questionable look.] Think about, man. I could be the first double champ here in the OOWF; IC Title on one shoulder, Onslaught Title on the other. That would be pretty cool.

LDW: Yeah, it would Johnny, but I think it's time for ME to have some gold. I mean, I've proven myself here. I AM the number one contender to the Intercontinental Title, but we both know THAT situation...

[That comment gets a rise out of Johnny.]

JA: You sayin' you want a shot at my title?

LDW: No, I'm just making an observation.

JA: [pauses momentarily] Okay, that's cool. ... Look, I got Canadian Dragon in the first round. And how perfect would it be for Canadian Dragon to get bounced from the tournament in the opening round in a place called South of the Border?

LDW: Don't count your chickens before they hatch, Johnny. We Canadians are pretty tough.

JA: Yeah, but at "South of the Border?" Maybe you'll lose in the first round, too.

LDW: [chuckling] Oh really? To Hellion? He's a tag team specialist. I'm a warrior, man.

JA: You ever been to South of the Border?

LDW: No, why?

JA: I'll just say this... bring your sombrero.

LDW: Huh? Why?

JA: You'll understand when we get there...

[Johnny and L.D. walk off.]

[mooseheadjack]

Capellan knocked on the door of The Rick's office.

"Hey boss. Got a favor to ask."

"Really?" The Rick raised his eyebrows, "What can I do for you, rookie?"

"I hear Underdawg's promising to destroy everyone he faces, saving the worst beating for the week before he has his title shot."

"I heard that too. News travels fast around here. What's your point?"

"If I'm out of the Onslaught title race by then, I want that last match with Dawg."

The Rick choked on his drink,

"Are you crazy? Why would a rookie like you rate a match like that? Hell, why would you want it?"

"Think of it this way, boss ..." Capellan spread his hands, "If Dawg goes through on his threat, who better to risk in that last match than a no-name rookie? As for why I'd want that match ... well, Dawg's an awesome wrestler and it'd be an honor to face him. But more than that, he needs to lighten up, before he gives himself a hernia. I think I can make him do that." Capellan laughed, "Or die trying."

And then the rookie left, leaving a speechless GM behind him.

[mooseheadjack]

*Canadian Dragon is sitting on top of a ladder holding a box shaped item covered by a towel...SFJ#11 is standing a the bottom of a 2nd ladder reading a piece of paper.*

SFJ#11: "You've got to be kidding me...ALL your interviews are to now be done on top of ladders? Is The Rick crazy?"

CD: "Hey, it's my gimmick! Besides, it's not as odd as some of the other request. I mean, do you know what the OOWF's pudding budget is? I mean good lord."

*SFJ#11 cautiously climbs the ladder.*

SFJ#11: "So, what exactly have you been thinking lately? I mean, in your matches you play to the fans...but backstage you've stolen Hardbody Harris' bestest friend Fievel. Aren't you suppose to be a face?"

*At the mention of the name Fievel the box shaped object Canadian Dragon is carrying moves.*

CD: "Ummm yeah. Well you see, besides ladders...I do have a habit of stealing things. Although in honestly I haven't actually stolen sopmebody. I mean is it wrong to keep a mouse in a safe place? I mean we've got people tossing shit in other's peoples eyes and we have freaking Beast running through walls..."

*Just then Beast crashes through the wall. He goes past SFJ#11 and takes a moment to look up her skirt.*

SFJ#11: "HEY!!! Does anybody around here have class?"

CD: "Class? Ummm, well I heat that Mark vander went to boarding school. But here's the thing...lately I've been the forgotten one. So what I did is I called out Hardbody. Do I hate him. Nope. I just needed to make sure I have my place in the main event. I mean hell...my win/loss record isn't gonna do it."

SFJ#11: "Yeah, I mean you are the OOWF's number one loser!"

CD: "Ummm, do you really want to piss me off while you are on top of a ladder? I mean seriously. But the truith is, I've proven to be the king of the ladder match and that's why I had to keep Fievel [the box moves again] in a SAFE place. I need a match with Hardbody...and I need a ladder match. So what better way then to keep Fievel safe from harm till Hardbody comes back AND have a reason for me and Hardbody to have a ladder match."

SFJ#11: "OK...but what about Johnny Adrenaline and the Onslaught title?"

CD: "Look, I've said all along that I'm the best pure wrestler in the OOWF...and I'm gonna prove it! All I gotta do is lock on the Dragon Sleeper and...

*All of a sudden a foul smell fills the air.*

CD: "Oh god did you just..."

*CD takes off the towel to show he's holding a cage with Fievel in it. SFJ#11 on seeing the mouse freaks out and ends up and falls down crashing through the catering table. Fievel seems to be loopy from the smell of his own shit.*



CD: "Damn Fievel. It's one thing to take a dump in my safe...but poopiung durring my TV time...that's not cool!"

*Camera fades to black.*

[mooseheadjack]

* AA and Niles are in a locker room, dissecting their failed attempting at ridding the OOWF of Beast. *

AA: OK, so our first collaboration didn’t work out like we planned. But it was pretty funny watching Smark twitch like that, huh?

NA: Yeah, that was funny. But we need to get our act together. Getting on the bad side of The Rick isn’t a good thing.

AA: Don’t worry about that. I know all about getting on the good side of people. Chocolates, barbershop quartets, I got all the angles.

Niles looks at AA incredulously.

AA: So this week I’m in the Onslaught Tournament. You know, that thing’s just made for me. Pure wrestling, that’s me. After all, I am a…wrestling…GOD.

NA: Dude, you stole that catchphrase. Besides, JBL sucks. He just lost to the no-selling honkie rapper guy, and you know he’d be nothing but a jobber here in the OOWF.

AA: No, no, no! Bradshaw stole that catchphrase from me. I used it when I was in Japan back in ’96, the year I held the Yokohama World Heavyweight title for eighth straight months.

NA: Yokohama is a tire dealer, AA.

AA: Whatever.

NA: So what are we going to do this week? You have Thim Reynolds in the tourney and I have Gimmickman. Are we still watching each other’s backs?

AA: Yeah, we’re still watching each other’s backs. But I’m thinking we need to expand our group here. I’ve created a list of names of potential members. Here, check it out.

The first name on the list is Chris Alt.

NA: Are you nuts! Alt! Do you have any clue at all what I’ve been through with him? Hell, the next name on the list might as well be Johnny Adrenaline!

AA: Hey, wait a minute! Do you have any clue at all what I’ve been through with him? Oh…yeah, I see your point.

NA: Look, if we’re going to help each other, then we need to start simple. You watch my back, I’ll watch yours. Make sure we don’t get into any of those parking lot issues like everyone else was into last week. Make it to ring healthy. Make sure no one interferes in each other’s matches. And if we add any members, we do it as a team. Got it?!

AA (a bit disappointed): Got it. Now I gotta go find a couple people and iron some stuff out. Want me to get you a sandwich while I'm out?

[mooseheadjack]

[Firechild is seen WALKING!~. He is still smiling after last weeks interference in the Tag Team Title match. As he turns a corner he is jumped from behind by Revolution XX. Coolname starts to bash him over the head with a trash can as Eric O'Mac is stomping away on him. They pick him up and throw him head first into the garage door. Firechild is now busted open. The two continue to stomp away as OOWF Officials and Security come running in. Firechild is a bloody mess and not moving. As they pull Revolution XX off of him Coolname yells out something.]

Coolname: "You tell your boys they better watch their back because we could strike at any time!!"

[Coolname and O'Mac are taken away as EMT's check on Firechild.]

[mooseheadjack]

Firechild is getting examined by the EMTs in a back room. The Rick is in to check on the status of Firechild.

TR: I'm not thrilled that my wrestlers are getting jumped in the back like this BUT I'm also not so happy that my Tag Team Title Match between the champions and the Invitational Winners was interfered with.

(Cole and Ax Storm into the room and are looking pissed)

Cole: WHAT KIND OF SIDESHOW ARE YOU RUNNING HERE RICK?

TR: That's The Rick to you pal. And after the whole club fiasco you three pulled your lucky I don't strip you of the Tag Titles right now.

Ax: You can't do that. We have a contract.

TR: I'm sure that I can do it but I have a better idea. People want to see you two get your asses handed to you so I'm going to let one of the other great teams here in the OOWF take them from you. I'm glad to see your not seriously injured Firechild. Remember to stay out of my title matches from now on. (The Rick pushes past Cole and Ax and exits)

FC: Whatever.

CC: We're not going to stand for this.

Ax: What's next.

CC: How about this-

Ax: Hold on, (walks over to the cameraman and pushes him out the door)

Fade to Black

Ax:

[mooseheadjack]

Scene opens and a Giant Sombrero is seen. The Words South of The Border written across it. Camera pans out and Harper Camby, Tommy O'Neil, and OOWF World Champion Donovan Viper are walking outside the cabanas. Mexican music is playing.

HC: Wasn't that cinco de mayo party last night awesome? I'm glad we drove up here early.

TO: Dat fekkin Forida sune was mekin me sweat luk a pig.

DV: (grabbing his stomach) Dudes, I think that burrito was tainted.

HC: Maybe you shouldn't have got the 30 incher?

DV: Haha wise guy. That sh*t was good.

TO: Ya sheet abot to be reel good. Ya'll hav da squeerts fa days.

DV: Huh

HC: Your going to be sh*tting for days man.

DV: I need a beer.

TO: Dam bere arund her is fa sissies. Whot da fek ya nede a liame in ya bere for?

DV: (buys a Corona with lime and takes a swig) Oh yea, that hits the spot.

HC: Didn't you just hear what Tommy said about the beer?

DV: Not really

HC: He said only fairies drink Corona with lime

DV: Shut the f*ck up dude. I'm not a f*cking homo. I just like a hint of lime with my f*cking beer man.

HC: Sorry Champ, I'm just the messenger.

DV: Whatever it's not important right now. We need to focus on Microplay this week.

HC: We only have Revolution XX this week. I know they came off the tournament win and both are quick but all we need to do is catch them with Tommy's hook or one of my power moves and we'll have a quick night. Then we'll be there to help you "focus" on Microplay.

TO: Ya proly wont nede are help enyways. That luser ben running scaired since lussin his title.

HC: Micro has been a joke since losing his title.

DV: True, but he he may focus again with a chance to regain it. Plus I've got Dawg to worry about down the road.

HC: Relax. Leave Underdawg to me. --

DV: I gotta go man, (drops the beer and heads for the nearest restroom)

HC: You wan't to find some more latinas?

TO: Aye

HC: (yells into restroom) When you're done in there meet us back at that bar we were at last night.

DV: It's going to be awhile man.

HC: Alright, (turns to Tommy) Let's roll.

Camera zooms in on a sign that is hanging off the bathroom door.

It says: OUT OF ORDER

End scene

[mooseheadjack]

Scheme Gene is WALKING and talking on his cell phone.

SG: Look, I never heard of Pimpbot's House of Hotties! And if some guy calling himself Jeb Lund left this number last time he was there it's some kind of mixup. I have to take another call....yes, boss! I know I'm supposed to be covering the parking lot. I'm just taking a bathroom break.

*approaching the bathroom, he hears Donovan Viper's voice*

DV: No I don't want to join the Hair Club for Men. You guys are more annoying than that Boerboel guy who keeps leaving me messages about sweaty man-love, whatever the hell that means!

SG: I should go in there and get an exclusive interview with the champ, but it stinks worse than Stank even from out here. I'll try to catch him later.

[mooseheadjack]

Revolution XX is sitting at a small card table playing checkers. Coolname is black, Eric O Mac is red. Eric doublejumps to get to the back line.

EOM: King me!

Carl: Was that a legal move?

EOM: Of course, king me dammit.

Just then Ax and Chris Cole storm. Cole knocks over the board and then elbows Coolname in the face. Ax clothelines Eric O Mac. 3Piece Set each grab their guy and slam them against the wall. Then they both fold up the chairs Rev XX was sitting in. They move in to deliver the chairshots when Revolution XX both deliver Van Daminators at the same time into Cole and Ax's face. Now its Rev XX's turn on offense. Eventually both teams get to their feet and are trading blow for blow. Then Firechild with a bandage across his head joins in. Now it is a 3-2 assault and 3Piece Set have taken control. They are stomping away at Carl and Eric.

Cole: You like jumping our boy from behind?

Ax: You're all a bunch of punks.

Firechild: You can't hang with us bitches.

Just then LD Williams enters the room and he goes after Firechild. Ax and Cole quickly analyze the situation, knock down and all 3 members of 3Piece Set make their retreat.

LDW: That's right, you better run.

LDW then goes to help up Carl and Eric.

Fade to Black

[mooseheadjack]

*Niles Anderson and Attitude Adjuster are sitting and talking.*

Niles - You know, I've been thinking. We both have big problems. We both want gold. And we both have people who are getting in our way.

AA - What's your point?

Niles - Our collaboration hasn't quite gotten off the best start. But maybe we're going about this all wrong.

AA - and?

Niles - well, we're two people. LD Williams and Chris Alt are two people. Maybe if we focus our problems into one, it might be easier to manage.

AA - I see what your saying. So what's the plan.

NA - you and me are asking The Rick for a match. And Then after that *poof*, our problems dissappear. Been in a streetfight lately, Attitude?

AA - I like your style my friend. But let's discuss this further. I have a few ideas of my own. But gimme a sec.

*AA gets up and then BAM! Attitude Adjustment to the cameraman.*

AA - had to do that since I saw how cool it was when you did.

Niles - Understood my friend, understood...

*Fade to Black*

[mooseheadjack]

* AA runs into Concrete TG in the dreaded parking lot. Concrete is waxing the just repaired Hurri-buggy. In the background numerous fights and sneak attacks have broken out.*

AA: Hey Concrete, I know we haven’t been on the best of terms lately, but I’m kinda worried about you.

CTG: What are you talking about? I’m fine. I’m having a lot of fun making MHJ squirm. If we have to be a tag team for six months, then I’m going to enjoy it.

(Capellan bounces off the hood of the Hurri-buggy, thrown by an unidentified wrestler.)

AA: That’s my point, Concrete. Look, I’m a bit concerned about…hmmm… how do I say this…your mental well being?

CTG: You think I’m nuts?!

AA: Uhh…yeah.

CTG: Coming from you, that doesn’t say much.

(Mercury and Seraph bump into AA while throwing haymakers at each other. AA brushes the two off. They move on, next colliding into a randomly placed stack of metal poles.)

AA: All I’m saying is I think you need to reassess your strategy. There are better ways of getting out of this scenario. This is professional wrestling, after all.

CTG: OK, I’m listening.

(The Devil’s Brigade and Revolution XX are brawling through the parking lot. Camby rams Coolname’s head through the windshield of the car parked next to the Hurri-buggy.)

AA: Here, I’ve made a list of ways you can get out of this deal.

1) Agree to a Loser Leaves Town match, then have two guys come down and beat you up so you win by DQ.

CTG: Uh, that didn’t work last week.

AA: Oh yeah. Forgot about that.

2) Lose a Loser Leaves Town match, then come back the next week as a masked man named “Asphalt GT.” No one will suspect that it’s you.
3) Run over MHJ with a Hummer. Blame it on Rikishi.
4) Canadian Arm bar.
5) When MHJ gets in his car, pick it up with a forklift, then drop it from 20 feet in the air.

(Uncle Enity runs past, followed by Westgaard waving a bloody hockey stick.)

6) Toss MHJ in a dumpster, then light it on fire. Even if his body isn’t there afterward, don’t worry about it. It’s just a trick.
7) Ft. Lauderdale Arm Bar.
8) Kill MHJ’s dog.
9) Better yet, kill MHJ’s Dad, then drag his casket around behind the Hurri-buggy.
10) Come out next week as a different character, and ask Razz and Ross to pretend they don’t remember you. Maybe you can do a stuttering guy gimmick? That always kills me!
11) Pretend you have amnesia, go missing for a month, have a hot chick find you, babble through a month of skits and then return like nothing happened.
12) Oregonian Arm Bar.
13) Break a flower pot at an OOWF media event.

CTG: Are you about done?

AA: Just getting started. I have 1,002 ways to get you out of this situation.

CTG: How many involve arm bars?

AA: Funny you should ask. Let’s see… (AA begins counting…and counting…and counting some more. Firechild runs past with his hair on fire.)

AA: One hundred and seventy-seven.

CTG: Yeah, thanks. I’ll just take that and check it out in my spare time.

AA: Glad to be of help, buddy. Give me a call sometime. BTW, the AYUFF is in great shape. Nothing you need to worry about at all.

(AA turns to leave and is attacked by Thim Reynolds. Reynolds staggers AA into a nearby taxi cab, then body slams AA through the front windshield.)

Capellan: Damn, that was my cab!

[mooseheadjack]

*Outback and Gator are WALKING through the parking lot, when they spot FFC and Stank smashing a Subaru Outback with their lead pipes.*

GB: What do you guys think you're doing?

FFC: We were looking for those Dirtbag Brigade assclowns when we spotted your car and decided to have some fun.

Stank: Yeah, like a warm-up. And I'm betting you guys aren't even going to do anything about it.

OBJ: I don't know. What do you think, Gator?

GB: Nope. We've got more important things to do. Good luck finding the Devil's Brigade, guys.

OBJ: And good luck with the title shot.

Stank: Like I figured. Too chicken to fight us after we trashed your car. *Flexes biceps*

FFC: Yup. Pretty gay if ya ask me.

Stank: Were you calling me gay?

FFC: No, them. (This time.)

*A stretch limo pulls up. Missy Hyatt, wearing a towel, opens the door and beckons. OBJ and GB get in the limo.*

GB: After what happened last week, we decided to leave our car at the hotel.

OBJ: I think that's actually the car HurriCrete and Moose rented until they get their buggy back. Don't worry. I'm sure they took out insurance for this sort of thing.

*The limo peels out, zooming past a procession of cabs from the Capellan fan club.*

[mooseheadjack]

*inside the limo, OBJ and Gator are also greeted by Gail Kim and Ryan Shamrock*

OBJ: So, Gator, what're we gonna do about FFC and Stank?

GB: Same thing we do every week, Jack... CHOMP THEM OUT OF THIS WORLD!

[mooseheadjack]

[Revolution XX are storming the backstage area looking for 3 Piece-Set.]

Coolname: "Come on boys we just want to talk."

O'Mac: "We have no problems just a little friendly chat that's all."

[They turn a corner and see 3-Piece Set coming. The two teams collide and start to brawl. Before anything can escalate, in runs OOWF Officials and Security along with The Rick.]

TR: "That's it! That's it! All of you are being confined to your locker rooms until your matches are up. I'm not letting my show get out of control. Security take them away and stand gaurd over both of them."

[Security drags the two teams away who are still trashtalking to each other.]

[mooseheadjack]

(MHJ walks out into the parking lot where CTG is lovingly detailing the new hurri-buggy)

MHJ: What are you doing?

CTG: I am preparing the Hurribuggy of JUSTICE to run down the EVILDOERS of the world, Crime can not be allowed....

(Jack shakes in rage for a moment, then snatches CTG's bucket and rags from him and throws them far into the parking lot)

MHJ: LOOK DAMNIT! I know what you are trying to do, you are trying to piss me off to the point that I break the agreement and beat the holy hell out of you, and then I am gone from the OOWF for six months right? <Before Concrete can respond Jack continues> Well, forget it. It's not gonna happen. You wanna keep playing superhero? what the hell for? You think this whole superhero garbage is going to scare anyone? Intimidate anyone? I saved your ass against Mercury and Uncle Entity, Mercury and Uncle Entity! Two rookies who we should have rolled over and I had to save you from that dolt throwing mercury in your face. You think this superhero garbage is going to do a single thing to intimidate Outback Jack or GatorBait? You think those two are going give a rats ass about your stupid hurri-buggy or your damn costumes?

<Jack turns away and fumes for a moment, Concrete doesn't say a word>

Look, for better or worse, we area team for the next six months, that is a fact 1. Fact 2: While you are off playing Captain Insaneo Niles and Attitude are working behind our backs to undermine whatever authority we have left. Fact 3: you want gold, I want gold, we are a team, start taking this seriously and we will get some gold and show people that if we can get on the same damn page, we can't be stopped.

Or keep playing superhero, run your record to the ground, get about as much respect as Smark and Smoley had and ride this out for six months, just think about the end consequences, what you do now determines what I do later.

Trust me

[mooseheadjack]

as Capellan turns the corner outside of the Rick's office, he runs into The Underdawg.

Capellan looks up, and up with a fearful, yet courageous look in his face.

Underdawg looks down and onimously speaks

UD: You want to make a name for yourself around here? You think you'll prove something by stepping into my yard and getting pummelled to death by me? Son, I do you know what you're getting yourself into here?

Cap: Actually, I do.

UD: So you know about the pain, the torture, the recklessness, and the violence I am capable of? Especially one week before I am going to exact such violence to the one man I despise the most, Donovan Viper?

Cap: Yes, I do.

UD: Hmm. I don't know if you've got a big set of balls, or a small brain. I'll have you know this, though. If The Rick agrees to that match.....

Prepare.... to Rest.... In..... Peace....

Underdawg walks away. Capellan is sweating, and is obviously intimidated. But still keeps his compsure.

[mooseheadjack]

:(AA turns to leave and is attacked by Thim Reynolds. Reynolds staggers AA into a nearby taxi cab, then body slams AA through the front windshield.)

Capellan: Damn, that was my cab!

## Thim turns around and notices Capellan

TR: oh, sorry about the cab man - don't worry . . . looks like AA's got the fare - DUCK!!

## TR and C both duck as a trashcan flies through the space occupied by their heads just moments before

C: thanks . . . hey, you're in the tournement for the new Onslaught Title too aren't you?
TR: yea, about time this place got down to some serious actual wrestling
C: I know
TR: don't get me wrong, I like a car park dust up as much as the next guy but it doesn't necessarily belong in the ring does it?
C: but didn't you come up with the Elimination Chair match? How does that fit??
TR: if someone pushes me too far I can quite happily take it to the next level - AA knows that now but in the ring later we're back to the rules of the squared circle.
C: hey, listen. I've got to go and see The Rick but I'll catch you later OK
TR: no worries man, good luck and I'll catch you later in the tournement
C: not if I catch you first
TR: he, good call. Later dude . . .

[mooseheadjack]

(CTG has his hands on his hips as Moose finishes his rant)

CTG: You think all I'm doing this for is to make you angry enough to kick my ass?

Moose: Damn straight. You want me out of here.

CTG: (actually takes off his mask) for the record, okay, that IS one of the reasons. Another one is that you REALLY need to lighten up.

Moose: And lose my edge against our opponents?

CTG: Have you ever thought about the damage your doing to yourself? (hears a crash, ducks as a headlight sails overhead) I mean, sure, you're all mean and evil and nasty and (hunches shoulders, makes an evil face) "Grrrrr, lookit me, I'm big and bad and I'll kill you, grrrr, grarrrarr....." Come on, Moosey, relax a bit.

Moose: ..... I don't "relax", this is work.

CTG: I just happen to love my job.

Moose: (picking up a stray piece of twisted metal nearby) I would find this fun (aims for the Hurri-buggy)

CTG: (Gets between the buggy and Moose) Whoa~! THAT you're gonna want to rethink.

Moose: How the hell did you get this back so quickly?

CTG: I had a little "talk" with the agent.... (hands Moose a dead Gecko)

Moose: O.o

CTG: Insurance in itself is a crime! (pulls mask on) JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED! (CTG leaps into the buggy) Come, my faithful sidekick! We have ordinance to procure against the hated Outback Jack and his faithful assistant, Gatorbait! We are in a town of great explosions, we must be sufficiently armed!

Moose: ..... (weird smile crosses his face) you go ahead.

CTG: I won't be long! FIREWORKS WAIT FOR NO MAN~!!

(the Hurri-buggy speeds out of the arena parking garage, scattering SFJs in its wake)

Moose: .... somewhere, Johnny Adrenaline owes someone money. (smile fades) while Niles and AA wreck our respective factions. dammit.......

[mooseheadjack]

AA pulls himself through the broken front windshield of the cab and pulls out his cell phone.

"Note to self: Stay away from the parking structure at OOWF events. Man, where's Niles when you..."

A stray trash can sailing through the air clanks against the back of AA's head. He falls back through the cab's windshield.

"Someone is going to pay for this. Might as well start with Reynolds..."

Eric O' Mac makes a rare appearance before the OOWF event, and he's WALKING~! through the parking structure. A flying hubcap smashes him in the nose.

"Damn it, now you guys know why I don't show up around here!"

[mooseheadjack]

Viper, Tommy, and Harper are in a helicopter.

DV (yelling under the loudness of the helicopter): Tell me again why we're going to the venue by helicopter?

TO (yelling): Ah dun tol' ye. Wit tha creezee goings-on en tha paaking luts, ah figyurd we'd git dropp'd uff an' not haf te deal wit' a boosted rental cah.

DV: What the f*ck did you say?

HC (yelling): He said that if we were to take a rental, it'd get trashed. This way, we don't have to worry.

DV: Oh yeah, that's right. Smart idea Tommy.

TO: Ah tot yew'd lahk it.

A hubcap flies and cracks the windshiled of the copter, knocking out the pilot. The helipcopter begins to spiral out of control and down to the ground.

DV: Oh shit! We're gonna die! Smart f*cking idea, Tommy!

TO: Ah fook! Lit's git thees parashoots an joomp out.

DV: Are you f*cking crazy, you irish twit? We're in a spinning helicopter?

HC: Hey, hey, wait a minute. You're the champ.

DV: Yeah?

HC: Well, when you're the champ, you're immune to vehicular death.

DV: Come again?

HC: I don't have an accent, Donnie. I know you can understand me.

DV: That's not what I meant, asshole! What's this bullsh*t about immunity to vehicular death?

HC: Well, when the champion or main eventer gets involved in a storyline that involves a vehicular accident that would normally kill an ordinary human being, they simply dissappear for a few days and come back on the next show virtually unscathed.

DV: Huh?

HC: I said...

DV: I know what you said, g*ddammit! I just think what you're saying is bullshit.

TO: Et worked fer Tripul Haitch when e's cah wus dropped by a fohkleft.

DV: Who?

HC: And the Rock when he was in the ambulance when Hogan smashed into him with the tractor.

DV: I don't know these people. Anyways, if this is true, then what about you two? I'm the only champ/main eventer between the three of us.

HC: Oh yeah. I didn't think about that part. Well, ain't that a kick in the p...

****BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!****