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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:33:12 GMT -5
(MHJ is walking thought the OOWF parking garage, ducking the occasional flying object and stepping over the bodies of various bleeding wrestlers, in the background you can hear breaking glass and occassional explosions, we follow Moose for a bit until he catches up with Johnny Adrenaline and LD Williams)
MHJ: Johnny, LD, just the gentlemen I wanted to see.
JA: Moosey! where's your little superhero sidekick Hurri-crap?
LDW: HA! Careful Johnny, he will use his superpowers to thwart us.
JA: I hear his weapon is the stinkeye
LDW: better than Concrete giving you the brown eye <both laugh>
MHJ: You two done?
JA <wiping tears of laughter from his eyes> yeah so what's up?
MHJ: I wanted to talk business, it seems that <just then Morte runs by the group ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit blackdragon ohshitohshitohshit, a few seconds later Blackdragon comes running toward them al, as he gets to the group, Jack sticks out his arm and coltheslines Blackdragon, the three put the boots to Dragon for a moment, then toss him in the bed of a passing pickup truck being driven by Mark Vander> Anyway, it seem that Niles and AA are getting a little too chummy. You guys heard anything about them two?
JA:No, not really, but then again I have busy trying to figure out why The Rick hates me.
LDW cause you're a douchebag
JA: WHAT? What the hell is your problem
MHJ: duck <all three duck as the door to a 78 Gremlin flies by, in the distance we hear "HEY only one more payment and that was MINE you sonofabitch!"
LDW: I am not calling you a douchebag Johnny, I am just telling you why the GM hates you, he thinks you are a giant pussfilled douchebag
JA: puss filled?
LDW: Well I made that last part up. Anyway, Moose, I haven't heard anything about them, but I will keep an eye on things while you are teaming with that super zero.
JA: Yeah, man, just beat the hell out of him and take a six month vacation.
MHJ: Nah thats what he is expecting, that is why he is....
JA: Beast
<the three turn and see Beast walk over to his trashed neon purple 1974 Volkswagon Thing, Beast bellows out a scream "SOMEONE DIES!" and runs off>
MHJ: Anyway that's what Concrete is expecting, that is why he is pushing my buttons with this superhero thing, he wants me to snap and break the contract, then he can pursue the world title without worrying about me
<a moment later a 70's model Volkswagon van speeds by, Beast is in hot pursuit - on foot - screaming obscenities the whole way>
LDW: Well there has to be some way out of this, how bout me and Johnny just beat the hell out of him and get rid of him
JA: That would work
MHJ: Nah, remember that would break the contract as well I think, hell who knows anymore
<just then Beast comes running back through the garage carrying the side door of a 70's model Volkswagon Van, followed closely by said 70's model Volkswagon van>
JA: How about you hire those two, Stank and Capslock to take him out?
MHJ: I could, but if he would just be serious for a few minutes, we could be a damn good team, there is an evil side of Concrete, if he just let it out, damn we would be unstoppable.
JA: Hey I gotta jet, gotta get a few rounds in before I hit the gym, I got Canadian Dragon in the first round of the Onslaught Tournament, should be a breeze, maybe I will play 18. <Johnny hops in his [rented] Prowler and takes off.
LDW: So, Jack, you think what we had talked about is going to happen?
MHJ: I can't say for sure, LD, but he has pissed off the wrong people and seems to be losing focus. Just keep winning and that part will take care of itself.
LDW: That'll mess things up though
MHJ: True, it might, but what is more important? Besides there will be other chances for him. Just lay low, and like you said, keep your eyes open to what is going on.
<Just then a 70's model Volkswagon van screaches to a halt, the van is rocking and there is a lot of commotion inside the van, screaming and yelling, sounds like someone is fighting, finally the van door pops open and BEAST pops out, bloody and angry, the van goes to take off, Beast grabs the door and rips that one off too, SONS OF BITCHES!>
LDW: Yeah, you are probably right, let's get the hell out of here before Beast sees us here, he ain't right, you know any good dives in Sopchoppy?
MHJ: You know I do, trust me.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:33:37 GMT -5
*Chris Alt is walks out into the parking garage and stops, looking around with his jaw hanging slack. He picks up his cell phone and pushes a button*
CA: Honey? Will you look up the number for the local taxi service? I think I better get a ride home.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:34:00 GMT -5
*OBJ is relaxing in a no-tell motel near South of the Border, talking on his cell phone*
Well, Steve, we did wear out Gail and Ryan. Missy? Well, we sent her on to the Jobberos. They set her on to Revolution X, 3 Piece Set, The Devil's Brigade, and Hellion & Corax. FFC & Stank? As far as I know, they are gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Anyways, if they do hook up, they'll be lucky to keep up with her.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:34:21 GMT -5
*The screen fades to a darken green tint as the letters S and D form onto the screen turning from white to green. The letters fade showing a green dragon and then a green crab appears next to it. Soon the screen blanks out as if the Tv is getting bad signal. It stops having it conpletely black then fades in to complete bright color showing Soul Dragon in his Living room doing light squats. He stops looking at the camera and glares at it then slowly his emotionaless face is covered with a smirk.
SD: "Black Dragon....you have defeated me....you have broken me....you have humilated me in front of millions of people by having me tap in the center of the ring....revenge is all I could think of at that moment....anger...nothing but anger...but as I sit here lying back watching you win matches...and maybe lose some..but I kinda didnt watch those....anyway yea. I watch you win matches hoping you would win, hoping you would advance upward..I occasionally cheered as you won matches. Why you may ask? Well me, I have respect for those who can put me in this state, those who can brake me. Sure I'm violent and dont really give a care for anyone in this business, but that doesnt mean I dont respect them. Care and respect are two different things in my mind set. Isnt that right Citizen Snips?
*He walks over to his table and picks up a sandbox that held his crabby companion.*
SD: "Citizen Snips loves the people I respect. One day he'll get to know you better...I'll be back soon, the Medical humans say that I'll be 100% pretty soon. TIll then I shall train...in Muy Thai Boxing..ooooh forgot to go buy Ong bak ><..uhm gotta cut this video package short for now....hmmm oh yes!! [insert not so evil but not so good laugh]"
*Th screen fades away with you hearing Soul dragon faintly yelling "Wheres my Muy thai lessons 1-20!? and Ong bak!!!?"
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:34:44 GMT -5
[Seraph addresses the camera one hundred yards in front of the carnage that is the Devil’s Brigade helicopter wreck. An inferno rages behind him and the production crew is slowly dying from smoke inhalation, but no one moves out of fear of this enigma that is Seraph.]
Seraph: Know this, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of good; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof.
For of this sort are they which creep into parking garages, and war and destroy small things for petty hatreds. They are laden with sins, led away with childish feuds, ever learning, yet never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
Mercury – this is you. You began this carnage. You are responsible for this destruction. Your immature antics, adolescent temper, and poor judgment were the catalysts for what you see behind me. You call yourself a ragged tree criminal – this week at South of the Border – you will answer for your crimes. I am justice – but that is something you do not understand.
Come Wednesday however….
You will
[Seraph turns and walks away from the wreckage never stopping to actually examine if anyone survived.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:35:07 GMT -5
Back from commercial the screen caption reads earlier tonight. FFC stashes a missile launcher in a nearby garbage dumpster, Stank drops the lead pipes they were carrying in a box marked "Lead Pipes". FFC begins to whistle Ride of the Valkyries. Stank - I'm pretty sure that you just murdered three ooWF superstars FFC - You're murdering my buzz man, relax. FFC points to the sky where Stank observes three figures slowly descending, clinging to one parachute. Stank - Still, shooting them out the air was risky, I mean what if you had killed the ooWF Champion? Scaia might have fired you. FFC - Shit, I hadn't thought of that... ah well, it turned out ok in the end. This certainly won't be the worst thing we've done to the Devil's Brigade and the way I see it, Donnie V had it coming after leadin us into that ambush last week. Stank - C'mon lets get out here and head to the local bar. We need to prepare for our Tag - Title win at Mayhem... I'm parked over here. FF Capslock and Stank are walking towards Stank's Lincoln Navigator when it EXPLODES into a thousand pieces as a burning helicoptor wreck falls on top of it! Stank - MY RIDE! !! FFC - uh... YO TAXI!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:35:41 GMT -5
**Johnny Adrenaline enters the locker room where L.D. Williams is talking to Carl Coolname and Eric O Mac**
JA: “Man, that parking lot is a madhouse. Boy, am I glad my car’s not out there.”
EOM: “Decided to get a cab?”
JA: “I TRIED to get a cab. They’re all HERE already. There are four cab drivers in the city that aren’t here to watch Capellan wrestle, and they all wanted danger pay and a deposit against damages. I took the bus. What’s with the security outside?”
LD: “The parking lot’s not the only madhouse.”
CC: “We had some words with the three piece set.”
JA: “Three piece set… isn’t that what they call barbecue tools– you know, spatula, tongs, barbecue brush.”
LD: “Well, the tool part certainly fits.”
EOM: “And it would explain the fascination with fire.”
CC: “I don’t care what they are, I just want to break them.”
LD: “Not to worry, Carl. The three of us will take them out soon enough.”
**Johnny looks a little concerned at this**
JA: “Anyway, I came back to see about winning some of my money back.”
LD: “Why not?”
JA: “Coming boys?”
CC: “Can’t. The Rick confined us to the locker room.”
LD: “Just a sec.”
**L.D. walks to the door, grabbing a golf club from Johnny’ bag as he passes. He steps out side and a muffled grunt is heard, followed by a thud. There is the sound of running footsteps, and another thud. L.D. re-enters the room and tosses aside the twisted club.**
LD: “End of confinement. Gentlemen, let’s go take Johnny’s money.”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:36:03 GMT -5
[Johnny Adrenaline, L.D. Williams, and Revolution XX slowly walk into the hallway, which is much, much quieter than the parking lot.]
JA: Okay, this is the bet. $500. You've seen the Sexy Female Journalists' outfits this week, right? Those little skirts? I will be able to get a Sexy Female Journalist to bend over and give us a panty shot, maybe even more than that, right there in that intersection of the hallway.
LDW: $500?
JA: $500. You guys watching this?
EOM: We've gotta see panties, though.
CC: Or ass.
LDW: Let's do it.
[Johnny pulls out a fishing pole from behind the locker room door. He attaches a five dollar bill to a hook, runs to the hall intersection and casts the line down the hall. Johnny whistles one time, and begins walking back toward the locker room.]
JA: She's coming.
[Johnny gets back next to the guys and begins slowly reeling the line in, as L.D. and Rex XX watch. Johnny reels the line some more, and the five dollar bill sits in the intersection.]
JA: Money. Come on, darlin, where you at?
[As Johnny jerks the line one more time, Capellan walks out of another locker room door up the hallway, sees the bill, and calmly walks over and picks it up.]
C: Cabfare... Awesome.
JA: F***!
LDW: Pay up.
[Revolution XX laughs as Johnny forks over five Benjamins to L.D. and Capellan walks off in the background.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:36:27 GMT -5
*Niles and AA comes out of The Rick's office with strange looks on their faces. MHJ is there waiting.*
MHJ - Niles, can I speak to you a moment?
Niles - sure thing, Moose. I'll see you round Attitude.
*AA nods his head and takes off. Niles diverts his attention to MHJ.*
MHJ - whats going on here?
Niles - Attitude and I just asked the Rick for a match. Anything else?
MHJ - You've had a pretty shitty attitude lately for someone who's gotten a #1 contender spot because of me. I have to question your loyalty to The Establishment.
Niles - my loyalty? Oh, it's my loyalty that's in question here. See, last I checked, I was the one who was trying to bring gold into this group, whereas you're off mingling with the enemy, ignoring that we have a tag team in our ranks.
MHJ - watch yourself Niles, you're in over your head. What are you doing with Attitude?
Niles - well last I checked, you blurred the lines between The Establishment and the AYUFF, you'd be fine that I'm making an effort at keeping relations good between us.
MHJ - you got quite to mouth on you since you got that #1 contender spot. Want me to smack it off you?
Niles - oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that I'm the only one in this group who isn't settling for second best.
*Niles and MHJ get right in each others faces at this point. You can cut the tension with a knife. All of a sudden Concrete TG swoops in.*
CTG - doesn't this seem like a tense situation. Hurri-crete to the rescue!
MHJ - I can't handle this right now. We'll settle this later Niles.
Niles - sounds fine to me.
*MHJ and CTG walk off. Niles turns and walks right into a smiling, belt holding Donnie Viper.*
DV - now that was entertaining. Congrats on losing your match the other night.
Niles - I still get my shot 3 weeks from now.
DV - you sound pretty confident. You got so much on your plate right now, I'm surprised you can even remember the title.
Niles - see, that's funny. Because despite everything that's going on, what your holding concerns me more than anything else. I never forget about the title.
DV - well, you're gonna have to come through me to get it.
Niles - oh your the guy holding it now? That's reassuring. Guess I'll be mopping the ring with your sorry ass in 3 weeks.
DV - Big words coming from somebody who lost his last match to the Dawg I beat the night before.
*Donnie Viper walks off laughing at his own joke. Niles just sneers. Fade to Black.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:39:34 GMT -5
(MHJ walks into the Establishment locker room to find Niles packing his things for the trip to South of the Border)
NA: Well well, look who's back
MHJ: Look Niles, I came back to clear the air once and for all between us
(Niles drops his things and backs up ready for a fight)
MHJ: Not like that. Look, you had a point earlier, I pushed the issue to team with Concrete, and I did assume Morte and Endo would be ok with it. I checked with them, and for right now they are content with pursuing singles gold, Morte is going after the IC title and Endo is going to win that new Onslaught championship
NA: Yeah, and..?
MHj: I want you to know that the Establishment still has your back. You bring that world title to the fold, you are the one to do it.
NA: Damn right, its about time people recognized my greatness, when I lead the Establishment into the .....
MHJ: See, now there is the problem. YOU are not the leader now, and no matter how many titles you win, you will NEVER be the leader of the Establishment. Neither am I, neither is Morte, neither is Endo. We are four guys who came together to dominate the OOWF. I don't give orders to Endo & Morte, I ask them what they think, I don't give you orders, I tell you you CAN win the world title, because I know you can.
NA: This is all real nice and all, but why? What is with all the rah rah crap lately? We are a team, untiy and doing crap together as one, what the hell? Is that moron Concrete finally starting to get to you?
<Jack just looks at Niles>
NA: Oh hell he is! Damn, what the hell Jack? I was against you teaming with Concrete from day 1, I am 100%PM, I am goingto do what I want in that ring, with or without the blessing of the Establishment or anyone else, and that starts with tearing Donovan Viper's head off his shoulders and taking the world title. If anyone doesn't like it, too damn bad!
MHJ: You do what you have to do, and I will do what I have to do. Right now, I am going to get Concrete to see things my way and make this team work. I am only goingto offer you this bit of advice, you do what you want with it, be careful.
NA: Be careful? Careful of what?
MHJ: Careful of Attitude Adjuster, I have seen you two are getting awful chummy, just watch yourself
NA: Hey, I got nothing to worry about with AA, I know I can trust him, he would never sell me out to team with some flaky loser. Now, I have to go get ready for my match this week, I am taking on GimmickMan, just one morestep toward the world title, who are you wrestling, oh yeah, those idiots Gator and Jack, huh, didn't they already beat you and Concrete?
<Jack Glares at Niles, Niles smirks and walks away>
MHJ:<to himself as Niles leaves> You don't worry about me Niles, you just keep focusing on that world title, keep running your mouth, things are going well right now, but one of these days our paths will cross. Then we'll see how big you talk. Trust me.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:39:57 GMT -5
(the Hurri-Buggy is ROCKETING~! through the parking garage, causing and dodging mayhem as it slides sideways into a parking space. Hurri-crete leaps out and picks up a large box, which he handles gingerly and dodges the chaos to get it inside)
CTG: whew.... disaster will befall anyone who takes away this box.....
??: (snags the box out of Hurri-crete's hands) what ya got, boss?
CTG: !!!! UNHAND THAT, YOU - o,o oh, it's you, AA
AA: (hands the box back) so is Moose ready to kill you yet?
CTG: (straightens) it seems that his torrent of villainy is stayed in my presence!
AA: enough of the hero act - seriously.
CTG: (smirks) he honestly thinks I'm going to turn into a bloodthirsty killer or something when this is over?
AA: you think he'll turn into a nice guy once you're done tagging with him?
CTG: never hurts to try.... which reminds me, what's this I've been hearing about you talking to Niles Anderson? I know he's one of Moose's boys......
AA: Don't you see the beauty of it, tho? If you actually succeeded in turning Moose away from the darkside, we could feasibly get the Establishment merged with the AYUFF! We'll be the largest faction on the show, if you don't count the SFJs....
CTG: I don't think the Establishment would be that interested.
AA: That's why I'm softening em up for ya, boss!
CTG: (gives AA an odd look)
AA: Don't worry about it, you and Moose got a big match against Jack and Gator. Is that why you've got this box?
CTG: maybe. I'll show it to Moose when I see him for the show.
AA: so what's in it?
CTG: the show finale ^_^ (walks off with the box)
AA: ..... methinks the fearless leader HAS lost his mind... he hasn't been this bad since... well, I've harped on THAT enough. (walks off)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:40:35 GMT -5
[Johnny Adrenaline walks back into the locker room where L.D. Williams is counting his money on a card table.]
LDW: Seven... eight... nine... one thousand dollars. Damn, Johnny. It's nice doin business with you.
JA: Why won't you ever take up a bet out on the golf course? I would run you dry.
LDW: You answered your own question, champ.
JA: Speaking of "champ," I was thinking about this Onslaught Title...
LDW: What about it?
JA: Well, I'm already the Intercontinental Champion. And you KNOW that the IC Champ is gonna have a title match on the Blood, Sweat, and Fear pay-per-view at the end of the month. And you gotta think that the Onslaught Tournament Finals are gonna be at the pay-per-view, as well.
LDW: What's your point?
JA: You know how The Rick has it in for me. What better way to get this title off my shoulder than to make me wrestle TWO title matches in one night? First, the tournament finals, then a match for my IC Title.
LDW: So, what you're saying is that you're FINALLY gonna give me a title match, lay down for me, and focus on the Onslaught Title?
[Johnny gives L.D. this crazy, freaked out look.]
LDW: That was a joke, man.
JA: I just gotta be sure I don't have two matches at the pay-per-view.
LDW: Well, outside of doing what I said a minute ago, how do you plan on doing that?
JA: Well, I've got an idea. I'll tell you about it later.
LDW: Why not...
JA: L.D., I gotta jet. Gotta make sure the Jaguar is still in one piece.
LDW: But you parked it three blocks down. I don't think the fight has stretched that far.
JA: Oh, I don't either. But have you seen that neighborhood? I saw a couple of guys down that way who would take my hood ornament and mount it on their wall next to the seven point buck. Look, I'll be back...
[Johnny leaves L.D. to count his money...again.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:40:58 GMT -5
*OBJ and Gator are sitting in a booth in a restaurant, with empty plates in front of them*
GB: Not that there were a lot of better options around South of the Border, but why were you so eager to eat at Outback?
OBJ: Would you believe "no rules, just right"?
GB: What are you up to?
OBJ: Just follow my lead when the manager comes back.
*The Outback Steakhouse manager comes to the table.*
Manager: I'm so thrilled you guys dropped in. The regional VP for marketing just called in to say keep up the great work. Of course, your meals are on the house.
OBJ: Oh boy, that's great. Right, Gator?
GB: Uh, yeah. Thanks.
OBJ: In that case, how about coming to the big show at South of the Border as our guest?
Manager: I'm thrilled!
OBJ: By any chance, could you give us a ride there?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:41:22 GMT -5
As The Chaos ensues in the OOWF parking Ramp, we see SFJ# 47 walk into the middle of the frayand stand there with a dumbass look on her face....
Revolution XX runs by
SFJ47:Carl can I have a word?
Carl: SCREW YOU WENCH!
SFJ sees AA walking away from Concrete
SFJ47: MR. Capps, I'd like...
AA stuffs a turkey and Swiss on rye into his piehole and bolts
Johnny Adrenaline looks as though he's heading to the Golf course, and SFJ47 waves at him...he see's her and runs to a nearby cab, Pulls Capellan out, hits him with a golf club and hops in to cab, which then squelas out of the lot.
SFJ47<screams.: DAMMIT! why won't anybody Stop and let me interveiw them?!?!?!
Uncle Entity stop in his tracks and jogs over to SFJ47.
UE: Cause nobody wants your stupidity to rub off on them...But if you play your cards right...Maybe I'll let you rub something else off.
UE winks at SFJ 47 and stands there for about 5 seconds while she ponders his remark
SFJ47: WHY I NEVER!
and she hauls off and slap UE
UE kicks her in the gut and goes for a DDT on the concrete, but is stopped when Westgaard comes out of nowhere with a Goalie stick to the back of UE's HEad.
Westgaard chuckles and walks away.
SFJ47 gets up and kicks UE in the nuts
SFJ47: who's the stupid one now!!!!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:41:47 GMT -5
*Canadian Dragon is sitting on top of a ladder with Sexy Female Journalist Number 31*
CD: "So how exactly did Viper survive that crash? And How did Niles run into him so soon after?"
SFJ#31: "Huh?"
CD: "Weren't you watching the monitors? Don't tell me we're all suppose to act like we didn't see the crash or Viper talking to Niles..."
SFJ#31: "Monitors..what monitors?"
CD: "Oh god...you're stuck behind the third wall aren't you? I mean really how dumb..."
SFJ#31: "What's a thrid wall...and why are we on a ladder...aqnd why are those men moving a table into position like somebody is gonna go throught it?"
CD: "You really don't know? My god I can't wait to get back to Canada where the female journalists are sexy and smart."
SFJ#31: "What's Canada?"
CD: "WHAT'S CANADA!!!"
*CD jumps off his ladder spearing SFJ#31 and sending them both through the table. CD gets up and notices SFJ#31's name on her badge.*
CD: "Heather Harris? That might be a bad thing."
*Fades to black,*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:42:26 GMT -5
Capellan limped back into the building from the parking lot, golf club in one hand, pizza in the other.
"That's the last time I order out from work. Delivery's a killer."
He made his way back to the locker room and pushed the door open with his shoulder.
"Congratulations." Mercury stood inside, giving the rookie a slow clap.
Capellan sighed,
"What do you want?"
"I'm here to thank you." Mercury adopted a fake expression of wounded innocence, which quickly slipped into his trademark sneer, "I thought I was going to have to teach you a lesson myself, but your little stunt of challenging the Underdawg saves me the trouble. Self-disposing trash: I'm impressed."
Capellan carefully put the pizza down on one of the locker room benches.
"You're forgetting two things."
"Yeah? Like what?"
"One: I only fight 'dawg if I'm out of the Onslaught Championship, and I don't intend to be."
"Dream on, rookie." Mercury snorted, "And what's number two?"
"I'm carrying a golf club."
Mercury reeled backwards as the four wood crashed into his skull. Capellan followed up with two whipping strikes to the legs, knocking the other man to the ground - but then Uncle Entity came out of nowhere, cleaning up the smaller wrestler with a massive clothesline, then laying in some big kicks for good measure.
"You gotta learn to watch your back, rookie." Mercury smirked as he rose to his feet, "Or it'll cost you in your matches like it has here." He picked up the pizza box and looked inside. "Hey, sausage and pepperoni. My favorite."
Mercury, Entity and the pizza then left the room.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:43:10 GMT -5
(Screen flickers and a fuzzy picture appears with GTV in the corner)
UE and Merc are eating pizza.
UE: Now that I have softened him (motions to the floor) up for you, do me a favor and smash Westgarde's kneecap so I can advance in the Onslaught Tourney. Work him over real good. That smarts huh? Don't let me down here. Perhaps I'll even see you in the finals. Oh yea, and use the Mercury Dust on him.
Mercury: But the Rick has said I can't.
UE: Then don't let anyone SEE you do it. Can't suspend someone if there's no proof or witnesses.
Mercury: I see.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:43:34 GMT -5
[Johnny Adrenaline is walking in the parking lot, looking over each shoulder in paranoia, when he comes across Capellan laid out on the concrete, four wood nearby.]
JA: You son of a bitch, give me my fairway wood. [Johnny snatches it off the ground.] Just cause I use it to steal your cab don't mean it's yours to keep. Oh, and one more thing...
[Johnny kicks Capellan in the gut one time, reaches down and pulls out Capellan's wallet. Johnny begins going thru it.]
JA: You cost me five hundred bucks you son of a bitch. Get your cabfare from somewhere else next time. Let's see what we got here. Blockbuster Video membership, business card for...how do you pronounce that...some cab driver, picture of, DAMN, who's that fine thing? There, there's my five dollar bill. I'll take the rest out of your ass later.
[Johnny kick him in the gut one more time, tosses the wallet down on the ground, and walks off with his golf club and five dollar bill, leaving Capellan in a heap.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:43:55 GMT -5
Mercury and Uncle Entity finish up the pizza.
UE - okay, go take care of JWW. MRC - Now?!? UE - It has to be before our match, idiot. MRC - fine, im on it, im on it.
Merc walks around till he finds Westgaurds room.
MRC - Westgaurd, hockeys off its strike! JWW - (runs out of room) What!! MRC takes a crowbar and beats the hell out of Westgaurd. He puts his knee in a door and slams it until he hears a pop. He keeps going until JWW is unconscieous. He adds on by using the Mercury dust and pouring it all over his face. He finishes up by spraypainting Entity on his door.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:44:20 GMT -5
Firechild steps out of the 3 Piece Set locker room, thanks his lawyer for getting the 'gross restraint of trade and civil liberty' that was the 3 Piece Set's dismissal to their locker room lifted, and looks around the carnage.
FC: Damn, glad I didnt drink the water....
Semaj walks up, limping slightly and nursing some minor bruising and cautiously says...
SB: Hey man, I don;t know what's up with you, joining the 3PS, hey, I got no love for RevXX, but those guys?
Firechild just looks at him.
SB: Anyway, it seems the Rick likes the way we match up, and were mano e mano in the first round of the Onsluaght tournament....
Firechild grins and nods, but says nothing.
SB: OK.... well I guess, you can't have changed that much, even if you're hanging with Ax & Cole now, and we've put on some real clinics in the past few weeks, and with the Onslaught title being a 'pure wrestling' belt I hope we'll have our usual match and see who gets the best of the three yeah?
Firechild smiles broadly and extends his hand, and pulls Semaj into a warm matey hug, leans into his ear and says...
FC: Wrong...
Firechild hits a belly to belly suplex that sends Semaj hard into the concrete wall, and follows up with some hard japanese stytle kicks into the AYUFF member's upper back.
He stands back as Ax & Cole poke their head out of the locker room, look around, grin broadly, pass Firechild a shot of whisky that he necks swiftly then return to their 'amusements.'
Firechild grabs Semaj, grinds his knee into hs back and wraps his hands arond his throat in a modified Camel Clutch.
Semaj is dazed but conscious as Firechild lays down his manifesto....
FC: Stupid, innocent fool. That 'lets all try our best to put on a show' version of me never existed, every easy moment I spent with you turned my stomach. It was all n preparation for this, my metamorphosis into what I would become. You have no idea what I intend... what I will do in this promotion. With Ax & Cole behind me I will destory all the weak willed try-hards and losers who call themselves competitors, and first on the list is you Semaj. I will annihilate you, and go on to lift the Onslaught title, and I dont mean that I'm gonna swing chairs or pull tights... I shall merely defeat you.
Semaj has passed out, and Firechild, out of sheer viscousness picks him up, hooks his arms behind his back, lifts him till he is vertical and then drops him head first onto the concrete floor, with sickening thud, with overtones of broken bones and snapped sinew.
Firechild stands up, and addresses the 'camera' directly.
FC: Revolution XX, I chose you to be my first victims, because your preppy jock act sickens me, you lack intensity and passion, hell even you buddy LD is only someone I could, prehaps respect, if only he had some will of his own, and wasn't more concerned in fellating the egos of the puppet masters and showboaters around him.
Let this be heard by every superstar in the OOWF, I am not the naive rookie you thought I was, I am the Fallen One, the Phoenix, the Angel of the Abyss and with Ax & Cole by my side I shall destroy all weakness in the OOWF. I will march through the Onslaught tournament, and no-one can stop me, you will all feel what it is like...... to burn.
As he almost whispers the last part of this, Ax steps out of the locker room, and says
Ax: Hey man, you're gonna love this...
The strains of Jimmy Hendrix' 'Fire' burst from the room, Firechild shakes his head, takes the proferred bottle of Jagermesiter and follows his stable mate into the locker room.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:44:56 GMT -5
After Merc's beat down and vandilazation of locker room door, Westgaard comes to and crawls over to where his gear is, feels around in his bag and pulls out a bottle water and begins to rinse his eyes out.
After getting as much of the powder out as he can, he opens his eyes that are now blood shot as hell. HE begins to roll his pants up on the leg Merc slammed in the door.
JWW, with eyes watering like a son of a gun : wow, for once I'm glad I hafta wear this damn knee brace.
with that he pulls off the busted brace, pulls new one out of his gear bag and puts it on...
JWW: fits like a glove, now to go find The Rick and have a chat over some brews
Westgaard then grabs another bottle of water rinses his eyes again, pulls a Six pack of Grain Belt Premium out of his bag and heads out of the locker room.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:45:19 GMT -5
Alice In Chains' "Angry Chair" plays over the loudspeakers of the arena, but no one shows.
Ross: Did the helicopter crash spell the end for the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion?
Razz: Now, now. You shall refer to Mr. Viper as the World F*cking Champion.
Ross: Oh give me a break! I will do no such thing.
Razz: Well, no one's come out yet. That helicopter crash not only took out Donovan Viper, but also took out the Devil's Brigade as well. Oh wait, there they are.
Viper, Tommy, and Harper come out, slightly limping. They look a little frazzled, their clothes look a little singed, and Viper has a bandage on his forehead and his right cheek, Tommy has a bandage on his left hand, and Harper on his nose liek a breathe right strip. Viper is wearing both the original OOWF Championship Belt and the broken skull and snakes belt that Underdawg made for him
They get to the center of the ring and Viper grabs a microphone.
DV: You can put me through a ladder match, you can put me in a dog collar match, you can put me in a cage match, like you and I will have Underdawg. Hell, you can even put me in a falling helicopter. But Dangerous Donovan Viper will always come out on top!
(crowd chants "homo" "homo" )
DV: Oh, f*ck you, audience! At least I get laid.
(crowd chants "you f*ck men!" "you f*ck men!" )
DV: SHUT THE F*CK UP SO I CAN TALK YOU LITTLE BITCHES!
(crowd shuts up)
DV: wow, that worked...
Underdawg, you have no chance against me. None at all. You just can't beat me, because I'm better than you. Even after I run through Niles Anderson, Gimmickman and Microplay, which I will because unlike me, they all suck! And this week, I've got Microplay. The guy I pinned to win this belt. (holds up the broken skull and snake belt). Wait, no, not this belt. (Tommy hands him the original OOWF championship belt.) The guy I pinned to win THIS belt. And he thinks he can win it back. Pshaw! And my mom has a beard.
(crowd chants "your mom's gay" "your mom's gay" )
DV: MY MOM'S NOT GAY. SHE F**CKED A SH*LOAD OF MEN IN HER LIFETIME!
(crowd chants "slut" "slut" "slut" )
DV: SHUT UP!!! Ahem... since I am the World F&cking Champion, and since I now have the original OOWF Championship Belt around my waist, I have no need for this piece of crap that Underdawg gave me. Tommy, Harper?
Tommy and Harper hold up the broken belt outstretched from its ends. Viper runs the ropes and gives the broken belt a ~DEATH ELBOW~! shattering the belt into a milion pieces.
DV: See that Micropussy? you suck and are bannedman? Niles Anderson (I don't have a not-clever-yet-derogatory name for you)? DO YOU SEE THAT YOU SON OF A BITCH UNDERDAWG?!?! That (points to the belt pieces) is what will happen to ALL of YOU when you step into the ring with me, the World F*cking Champion!
The ring begins to shake as the lights flicker in the arena! Rain is falling from the rafters!
Ross: My gawd, Razz, do you think?
Razz: This has to be the Underdawg's doing! Only he is able to control the elements like this!
DV: DO YOU THINK I'M SCARED YOU BIG BITCH?!? SHOW YOURSELF YOU UGLY MUTT!
At this moment, Niles Anderson comes out from under the ring (he was shaking it) and pummels Harper Camby throwing him out of the ring!
At the same time, Microplay rappels down from the rafters with a showerhead and blasts Tommy O'Neill with it, knocking him out to the floor!
Immediately, the audience roars as Gimmickman comes out from the back (he was in the lighting room, messing around with the lights) and delivers the SPARTAN PLUNGE to Donovan Viper!
Niles Anderson picks up Viper and, after a very short pause where the audience actually cheers for Niles, delivers a STEED-DT~!
Microplay ascends to the top rope, the audience goes batshit and he delivers a PERFECT FLYING ELBOW~ to Viper's carcass!!!
Niles, Gimmick, and Micro look at each other, and nod as Harper pulls Viper out of the ring. They head up the ramp to leave the arena area, as Niles, Gimmick, and Micro all make "want the belt motions" to Viper, each other, and to the audience. Niles then flicks off both Gimmick and Micro and leaves the ring. Gimmick and Micro shake hands and leave the ring to cheers from the audience.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:45:41 GMT -5
*OBJ & GB were watching the events in the ring with DV and the Devil's Brigade from a secure location within the arena*
GB: I'm glad those guys survived the crash.
OBJ: Because you respect their skills?
GB: That too. But mainly because I want to hit the Chomp on each of them someday.
OBJ: Works for me. Now, since we are conviently on camera, let me say this. Hurricrete and MooseheadJack, do you remember our last match? It was a war. But we are prepared to take this to the next level. We don't give a damn if you consider yourselves faces or heels, AYUFF or Establishment. It's not personal. Just business.
GB: Not that he's telling you anything you don't know already. Hey, Jack! Do you think the manager guy has parked his car safely?
OBJ: What could go wrong with that? Besides, the local Foster's distributor was sending a truck over. No worries, mate!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:46:08 GMT -5
FF Capslock and Stank are STANDING~! outside the parking garage. An explosion is heard and a brake drum rolls out of the entrence.
FF- Y'know, things sure have changed around here, Steve.
S- Stank
FF- What?
S- My name is Stank.
FF- What'd I say?
S- Steve.
FF- Are you sure?
S- Yes!
FF- So it's Stank then?
S- Yeah!
FF- Huh...well...uh...things sure have changed around here, Stank.
S- How so?
FF- There was a time when we dominated the parking garage, my friend. The parking garage beatdown was ours and ours alone. But now...(sigh)
S- I know. We need a new place to beat people down man.
FF- The women's bathroom?
S- Brilliant!
They run off to the women's bathroom and sit...waiting...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 6, 2008 18:46:32 GMT -5
*BD lies motionless in the sand. The vibration from his cell phone stirs his pain induced slumber*
BD: (moaning) Hello? Oh hi gorgeous. Nah, I'm okay. Where? (looks around) I have no idea. That bastard Moose is going to pay for this though. Well, frankly my dear I don't give a damn if he's teaming up with Gryphon, his Moose ass is mine whenever the hell I get back to the arena. What! Johnny and LD helped him? And Vander drove me out here? Shit. Well how about I call you when I see some Concrete. No, not him, I meant signs of a city. Then you can send a cab to get me. What do you mean they're aren't any more? In the entire city? What the...nah baby, I'm not upset, just justifiably confused. Well keep tabs on things for me. I should be back in town, in a couple of hours. I might even make it to my match so I can wear that little bitch Vander out. What do you mean, I'm a face and can't talk like that? Okay, fine, I promise I'll cut a more "face" like promo next time. Speaking of which... (turns to the camera man) How the hell did you get here?
CM: Vander dropped me off.
BD: And you let him leave?
CM: He said he'd be right back.
BD: Well either he's still a decent guy or our Sexy Female Journalists are the only ones lacking in the smarts department. (back on the phone) I'll talk to you later. Love you too. (hangs up) Well, I guess I should be thankful I didn't wake up reeking of cheap beer with my pants around my ankles.
CM: Actually...
BD: Don't say a mutha fuckin' word. Let me cherish this moment.
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