MidWeek Mayhem (04/21) Live! From San Antonio TX

[mooseheadjack]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From San Antonio, Texas

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Alexander Darling vs. Matt Folz

Ladder Match[/u]
Chris Evans vs. Damon Wrath

Best Of Three Series - Match 2[/u]
Texpress(0-1) vs. Concrete TG & Ravenna Blue(1-0)

LD Williams, Poe & Stank vs. Spin Hansen, Outback Jack & DH Magnusson
Alexis Darling & Davin Moreland vs. Ecosystem & Tytan
Moosehead Jack & Firewoman vs. TBA

card subject to Texas secession

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman and Moose are walking by GMtheRick's office, when Erlana calls her in.

FW: Hiya boss. I get my title shot next week?

GMtR: What the fuck was that?

FW: Huh?

GMtR: You nearly killed the descendent of Brigham Young!

FW: I don't think he's really...I mean... that's just a gimmick....

GMtR: Hardly the point.

FW: So......

GMtR: You weren't getting a shot next week anyway, you and Moose are in a tag team against "To Be Announced."

MHJ: Ah, I hate them. They always suck.

FW: Who?

MHJ: To Be Announced.

FW: I've never heard of them.

GMtR: If you two are done...Fire....We've really tried our best to work with your...issues, but you're trying my patience.

FW: What issues?

MHJ: Really, Fire?

FW: Okay, no, I know...I've had a few difficulties...

GMtR: A few? Erlana....

Erlana opens a side door and an unpaid intern walks in two boxes on a dolly.

FW: What's that?

GMtR: That is all the paper work your shenanigans have generated....Legal briefs, receipts for damages, restraining orders.....

Erlana: You want the rest of 'em?

FW: There's more?

GMtR: Yes, Fire, there's.....What's with you?

MHJ: I've....I've just never been so proud....I think I need a tissue....

FW: Oh, shut up. Fine, Rick, you've made your point.

GMtR: No, I don't think I have. Do you know that you are now BANNED from Utah?

FW: That's not a great loss, Rick. We're never here, and THEY DON'T HAVE COFFEE HERE!

GMtR: Yeah, keep laughing. You're curtain jerking this week, and maybe next.

FW: Fine, whatever... it's your company. But when he self-destructs, and his ego outpaces his talent--

GMtR: huh?

FW: Seen it happen before, Rick. Don't say I didn't warn ya! Later.

Moose and Fire continue on down the hall, laughing about something.

[mooseheadjack]

*Still in Rick's office*

A few minutes after the Quinns leave, Alexander Darling storms in.

GMtR: Ah, fuck. What the hell do you want?

Alexander tosses the line-up for next week onto the desk.

Alexander: Why am I wrestling Folz?

GMtR: Because he just won a match involving you.

Alexander: Do you even watch your own shows? I made a challenge to Firewoman on Stank's Pub or whatever the fuck it was called this week and I expect that to happen.

GMtR: One, I'm in charge of matchmaking here, not you. Two, even if I was so inclined to allow your challenge to happen Fire is in no way going to be allowed to be in that high profile a match given her recent actions. Third, the OOWF Board isn't ready to sanction a match between the two of you especially given the history between the Darlings and Quinns.

Alexander: One, go fuck yourself dick. Two, I don't care if the OOWF sanctions it. I don't care if it's a title match. If I'm not in the ring with Firewoman by the end of the month, I'll be in the ring with someone else. YOU. And you better damn well believe, I'm not scared of any consequences anymore. So Rick, make it fucking happen or it's your ass.

*Fade*

[mooseheadjack]

(Ravenna Blue is KNOCKING~!! on Crete's locker room door)

CTG: (opening the door) Citizen Blue.... you're early today.

RB: We need to talk

CTG: (startled by her no-nonsense tone) please. (he steps back and lets her in)

RB: (walks in) so how did you pull that off this week?

CTG: Pardon?

RB: You crashed the match before ours.

CTG: I did no such thing.

RB: your fans are pretty forgiving about things like this but I don't understand why you'd want to do a run-in so close to our actual match.

(Kayfabe peeks in the door and glares at Ravenna)

CTG: Citizen Blue, once again I will protest that that was NOT me. I have no such interest in interfering in anyone else's matches.

RB: you WERE missing for a few minutes before the match

CTG: Someone told me the concession stands had Mountain Dew Throwback - do you know how RARE that is?

RB: ......

CTG: they did not have any.

RB: .....

CTG: I came back immediately after investigating it

RB: .....

CTG: Very well, you are welcome to your doubts, but perhaps someone should catch this "impostor" and see who is trying to ruin my reputation

RB: Anyone in particular, "Crimefighter"?

CTG: ......

RB: (expectant look)

CTG: perhaps this bears some investigation of my own.

[mooseheadjack]

(still staring at CTG, trying to read him)

RB: You're not looking into this without your partner, are you?

CTG: Well, I suppose there are several possible leads we could investigate, Citizen Blue.

RB: Look, I care about you and I need to know you're focused on our team. If there is something going on "Crimefighter", you would tell your sidekick, right?

CTG and RB look at each other for a moment before the camera fades to black.

[mooseheadjack]

(Drink and Destroy are IN THE DESTROYITARIUM~!)

SH: So. Three members of the five.

DHM: An' they're all former World Champs.

OBJ: And all of 'em are holding championship belts that we're after.

Spencer Darling: And you're all monologueing again. Don't you know that we're not in the middle of an interview? Do you see any SFJs?

SH: I saw #44 make a pass at your girlfriend.

Spencer: I'LL KILL HER.

SH: Just screwin' with you. No, I don't see any.

SD (under her breath): Jackass.

DHM: So why are you talking again?

SH: I figured that I've been silent for too long. I've been complacent.

DHM: An' you've been an emo shell of yourself since Sugar left you an' went back t' that piece-a-shit Alt.

SH: Maybe it's time that I re-invent myself.

(Outback Jack and D.H. stare daggers at Spin.)

SH: Kidding. What's the plan for tonight?

OBJ: Same thing that it is every night, mate. We go out there, we throw everything we've got at 'em, and we come out on top.

SH: Sounds like a helluva plan. To Drink and Destroy! (All of them raise their mugs as the scene fades...)

[mooseheadjack]

*Davin Moreland is SITTING~! and reading a piece of paper. Samantha Darling-Moreland is PACING~! behind him*

DM: So...this is some sort of joke, right? Like, where's the real lineup, Sammy?

SDM: I keep telling you, that IS the real lineup.

DM: So, the Bookerman expects me to team with someone in their second -

SDM: Third.

DM: Whatever. THIRD match back against a pair of former tag champs. Because....why?

SDM: Because neither of you had anything else to do? Besides, you SAID you were over the whole Trios thing.

DM: Winning it three more times helped.

SDM: And now it's a vacant title. And that happened a long time ago.

DM: Not THAT long ago. And have I ever struck you as someone who forgot things from years ago?

SDM: You've done it, right?

DM: That is not the point.

SDM: You are a strange, strange man.

DM: I am. Call Lexie. We should all get dinner. We need to talk about...stuff...

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

The Texpress are ~~DRIVING down I-35 heading to San Antonio. Zane is at the wheel of his 1965 Mustang

Chad: Texas Snake Farm on the right, man we're almost there!

Zane: It will be nice to sleep in my own home, without hearing you snore.

Chad: Go to the old stomping grounds...

Zane: The Alamo....Hemisphere Park .... The Tower of the Americas

Chad: And NIOSA (www.niosa.org **OOC how do you make text into a link anyways?**) starts this week too! It's gonna be a blast!

Zane: We can check on the kids at Methodist Childrens hospital

Chad: And eat some Bill Miller's Bar-B-Q!!!

Zane: Wait! Where did that sponsor tag come from?

Chad: Umm..... I didn't see anything

Zane: Partner.... what's going on?

Chad:...

Zane:...

Chad: Oh all right. I struck a deal with Bill Miller's Bar-B-Q for the week.

Zane:How much?

Chad: Dollars? ... Nothing.

Zane: WHAT?!? For Free??

Chad: Not Exactly. Bill Miller's Bar-B-Q is catering the OOWF Arena all week. C'mon Man, you can only eat so much Ric's

Zane: ..... Seems fair to me. Let's go see Coach Rackley.

Chad: Before we go to the arena?

Zane: Who says we're going to the arena until the Show? We know our assignment already.

Chad: Wow. A week away from the arena. Let's have a PARTY!!!

Zane:...

Chad:...

Zane:... Sure. But nothing crazy. Call Davin and Samantha

Chad: I'm still not sure I like her.

Zane: I'm sure it's mutual

Chad: Yeah. How about Alex & Lexie?

Zane: Sure

Chad: DH and Drink & Destroy?

Zane: Sure. But this had better be at your place. I don;t want my good furniture....Destroyed

Chad: (grins) and finally...Ravenna

Zane: Why? I don't think she likes you

Chad: She IS cute. It's not a party without pretty girls.

(**OOC Family Emergency in progress. So Folks; Feel free to promo away at the party. Just remember Zane doesn't drink. and Chad doesn't either... around Zane)

[mooseheadjack]

(Fans are bustling about for pre-Midweek Mayhem activity in the San Antonio stadium when "My Immortal" hits the Titantron, with a familiar message.)

SAVE_US.ECO

(Ecosystem comes out, microphone in hand and armored Tytan with a bag by his side. They walk down to the ring as the crowd bustles and moves closer. Ecosystem slowly enters the ring and raises the microphone...)

Eco: Greetings to all my friends in San Antonio tonight...and to all those who are able to watch this telecast. Davin, I do hope you and Lexie have gotten a chance to "talk about stuff" by now. Obviously, you will need to do more than talk to take on me and this man...this actual Titan right here, who lost his chance at the OOWF Heavyweight Title by a chance countout.

As an aside, Davin, if you're thinking about the Trios belts at all...(reaching into Tytan's bag and retrieving a Trios Belt)...I do hope you don't mind that I have borrowed what you left behind. You discarded it so casually, I thought you wouldn't mind my recycling. One for me, one for Tytan, naturally. But now it's time to talk about the third belt. For what good is a prop if there is no actor to wield it?

It is time to stop acting, Gryfon. It is time to come out of your closet of denial and officially join us. Everyone saw you attack Lexie, Gryfon. You're so close to just being honest with yourself and everyone. I want to help you. Accept Salvation, Gryfon. Accept that the hero you want to be isn't enough. Accept that you cannot be above everyone, put aside your confused violence, and join our vanguard as we storm the barricades of this violent, sick society...and make it whole once more.

(Eco pauses.)

Eco: That alone won't be enough for you. I accept that. So let me give you an example. I told you a Phoenix would rise from the ashes...and I call her now.

("Keep It Simple" by Cobra Starship plays...and out walks Lauren Phoenix, dressed very conservatively, carrying a microphone and smiling. She enters the ring as Tytan holds the ropes open.)



Eco: Hello, Lauren. It's been a while since you've been in the ring.

Lauren: Yes it has, Juni. I can't say I've missed it too much.

Eco: Understandable. Now, as some of you may remember from a long time ago, I was once nominally aligned with your gentleman associate, Ryan Hardcore.

Lauren: That was a long, long time ago.

Eco: Please, Lauren, fill in the blanks since then.

Lauren: Well, I was in an American Apparel ad...



Eco: I remember that.

Lauren: Aside from that though, I wasn't in a good way. I had been feeling more conflicted about...about a lot of my past.

Eco: Tell them what happened.

Lauren: (facing the cameras) Over time, I began to regret my time in the porn industry...and my time in the OOWF. Sex work made promiscuity acceptable to me, and I left the business with nothing to my name but a couple awards applauding my performance in anal sex videos. Over time, it felt dirty. Shameful. I was less proud of being lusted after and more horrified as I considered how I had reduced myself to an object for others' pleasure. At least...I realize this now. I didn't have words for it then.

So I took on advertising and directing jobs. Didn't pay all that well. Didn't pay well at all. I was considering going back to the industry...the industry I hated so, but couldn't explain why. Going back to all I ever knew....until Juni stepped in.

Juni...Eco....he's a good man. He's loyal, and he cares more than nearly anyone I've ever known. He heard I was in trouble and he stepped in. Paid off my debts, got me work I could be proud of. All the time, he talked me through my feelings...counseled me...helped me understand the ways in which I had depraved myself, but also helped me understand how I could heal. Not once did he condescend. Not once did he sneer at me in my plight. He simply smiled and...he saved me. It's the only word I can use.

Eco: What might you have to say to Gryfon?

Phoenix: Gryfon...CTG...we have a history. All I will say to you is this: trust this man. He cares for you, even if you don't understand why he does. If you lose your arrogance, your self-righteousness....he can offer you Salvation. (Lauren turns back to Eco, smiling.)

Eco: Thank you Lauren. (Eco kisses her on the head, and turns to face the camera.)

I hope you're listening, Gryfon. Do not be afraid of what you're feeling. It's natural. Embrace it. And when you come to understand...(Lauren holds aloft the third Trios title.)...we will be waiting with open arms.

To borrow a phrase: Let the immoral hordes that rule this company tremble at the fear of virtuous revolution. You, Gryfon, have nothing to lose but your chains.

My name is Junichiro Muyo.

And I...Will...Save You.

(Eco raises Lauren Phoenix's and Tytan's hands aloft, with their stolen belts on shoulders, as the crowd boos.)

[mooseheadjack]

Poe and Selena are RIDING~ along in their limo headed towards San Antonio. Selena is humming "God Blessed Texas".

Poe: Please stop humming that awful song.

Sa-T: It's true ya know. I've missed Texas. I've only been back here two, three, four, five, how many times have we come to Texas?

Poe: Too many.

Sa-T: Why didn't I get a Homecoming Show?

Poe: You are not, nor ever will be an active competitor my beloved.

Sa-T: Hey, I'm a two time DDT Champ, and I wrestled Short Stuff Shawn's Johnson at a PPV.

Poe: Yes, let's not relive any of that shall we?

Selena sits back with her arms crossed and pouts. There's a few (rare) quite moments.

Sa-T: Ready for the match?

Poe: Always. Stank and I have a unique understanding of each other and compliment each other well. Add Mr. Williams and we will be unbeatable.

Sa-T: Why are they called Drink & Destroy? All they do is belch. What are they destroying besides their livers?

Poe looks at Selena with an amused look on his face.

Sa-T: Hey! I hear there's a huge party! Can we go?

Poe: Perhaps.

[mooseheadjack]

(CTG is TYPING~! away on his laptop as he listens to Eco's promo)

Ravenna: You have history with her?

CTG: (looking at the screen) My concern was that Firechild was coming back to the OOWF, not Lauren

RB: (looking at her phone) Texpress is holding a party in town.....

CTG: I'm sure they do not allow geeks at their event....

RB: but since they invited me, I might be able to get some more information on this impostor.

CTG: Crossing the enemy line is a dangerous prospect, Citizen Blue.

RB: I'll be fine. You just get some investigating done here.

CTG: I'm doing that now

RB: (looks at the laptop monitor) You play HORDE?

CTG: (slams laptop shut)

RB: Geek (swats Crete) you need to be serious about this, your reputation is at stake!

(Ravenna storms out of the room)

CTG: (grumbles) that's my secondary character

RB: (from the hallway) GEEK~!

[mooseheadjack]

In the Chamber

MHJ: You going to the party?

FW: What? Hardly. Pretty sure none of us are welcome there.

MHJ: Poe's going....

FW: Oh well, just sign me up then.

MHJ: You could try just a little bit harder to get along with him.

FW: I find not speaking to him at all is as good as it's going to get, John.

MHJ: ....

FW: What?

MHJ: Just haven't used my real name for a while.

FW: Let's not make a thing about it, 'kay?

MHJ: Fine...whatever....

FW: You know what might help.....

MHJ: What.

At that moment, Fire's phone rings, to the tune of Fozzy's "Enemy."

FW: Hey..........really?.....this week?................Yay, that's awesome!!!....*to Moose* Guess who's coming to visit!

MHJ: Wow. Great.

FW: ......Oh really?......um, okay........no, it'll be interesting, I'm sure......who, Moose? ..... no, I haven't.......not seriously....................yeah, I will........soon. Okay, see ya.

MHJ: What about me?

FW: So Jericho's not coming alone, Vince is coming with him.

MHJ: Huh?

FW: Said he'd tell us what it was about when he got here....

MHJ: What does Vince want with me?

FW: Don't be silly. Nothing. No, I'm just...well, Chris reminded me to ask you something....

MHJ: What?

FW: Well, we were just going to kind of elope in Vegas, but......well, I'm supposed to ask if you'll be there to.....um.........you know, be there.

MHJ: You want me to be your maid of honor?

FW: No, dumbass I want you to give me away. Er..... wait,.....

MHJ: *can barely contain his laughter* Give you away??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

FW: Well, I'm pretty sure dad is not in the mood--

MHJ: Burning down his house will do that to a person.

FW: Just say no, and we can move on.

MHJ: Wait......no......

FW: Excellent.

MHJ: No, I don't mean no.....I mean, yes.

FW: Oh....well, okay then.

MHJ: Is Elvis officiating?

FW: You know, shut up. I don't care if you're there or not.

Firewoman gets up and storms into her locker room. Moose just keeps laughing.

[mooseheadjack]

*Stank is checking his duffel bag.*

LDW - You don't have your title belt?

Stank - Selena likes to play with the gold, so I let her hold onto it.

LDW - Well C'mon the faster we leave Utah the better.

Stank - I can't find my boarding pass.

LDW - I thought I saw you put it in the front pocket.

*Stank unzips the front pocket of the bag and finds his boarding pass.*

Stank - We should have gone with Poe in the Jet.

LDW - You didn't have to stay.

Stank - Your mom insisted I stay with you. She's not coming with us is she?

LDW - After what happened are you kidding me? She's going back home to lie low.

Stank - I've never seen anything like that.

LDW - Heh... you weren't raised by her.

Stank - Once we land we'll drop our stuff off at Chamber V, pick up Poe, and go have ourselves a drink.

LDW - I guess I'm up for that. You have a favorite spot in Texas?

Stank - I know of a place. Get this... the bar is tended by a Darling.

LDW - Oh I think I know that place. I used frequent there.

Stank - Yeah me too. Though I heard it's a little run down since management left. Maybe we can go there and liven it up some.

LDW - Who are you calling?

Stank - Poe.

*Stank and LD Williams hand over their boarding passes. Stank is on his cell as he and LD are escorted to First Class.*

Stank - Hey Omar... listen when we arrive LD and I are thinking about.... .... what party?... ..... I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be... .... Why does she want to go?... ... .... does that mean you're.... ... *Sigh* I don't know.... Let me ask him.

LDW - What?

Stank - Selena wants to crash a party Texpress are throwing.

LDW - And?

Stank - Poe is considering going.

LDW - I think what you and I had planned would be more fun. Besides, I thought Texpress didn't drink? You want to go to a party with Capri Suns, country music, and no SFJ's?

Stank - Yeah Poe no can do... .... ...... Call me if you change your mind. We'll be there in a couple of hours... bye.

LDW - It's for the best.

Stank - You do realize we could have brought our own beer?

LDW - I don't like Texpress.

Stank - Kind of the point dude.

LDW - They're terrible people.

Stank - Um... yeah.

LDW - Measuring sticks my ass.

Stank - Okay.

LDW -

Stank -

LDW - Maybe we should crash their party.

Stank - Maybe we should.

LDW - Call Poe.

Stank - The stewardess just told us to turn off all our electronic devices.

LDW - Just as well. I changed my mind. Forget it.

Stank - You alright?

LDW - Did you see how that guy's eye *LD gestures* ... you know?

Stank - I just as soon not talk about what happened with your mother.

<Fade>

[mooseheadjack]

*In the Destroyitarium, a drunk Jerry Jones is babbling*

Jerry Jones: Romo was a miracle.

Other guy: It was a miracle, wasn't it?

JJ: He almost never got in, and he almost was gone. Tebow would never…

Different other guy: What if you were the Jaguars or — would you just, just draft him and sell fucking jerseys?

JJ: That's the only reason I brought in Bill Parcells.

[Laughter]

JJ: [Inaudible. Sounds a little like, "Sell mammoth fuckin' rake," whatever that means.]

JJ: Bill's not worth a shit. I love him.

Different other guy: I know you do.

JJ: Not worth a shit, but I wanted — they were on my ass so bad. J's gotta have a yes man. So to get this fuckin' stadium, I need to bring his ass in.

Different other guy: What, you, you wouldn't take Tebow in the third round?

JJ: Why? He'd never get on the field. I can't get him out there.

[Laughter]

*Outback Jack runs in, grabs Jerry Jones, and kills him with a Chomp. Jerry Jones is dead!*

Different other guy: Why'd you do that!

OBJ (drinks beer & belches): Australian for don't say "sell mammoth fuckin' rake" in the Destroyitarium and expect to get away with it.

Other guy: It was a miracle, wasn't it?

*Donovan Viper runs in and destroys Other guy with a chain-assisted Death Elbow*

DV: I am not a Romo!

*The Midnight Sons walk in*

SH: I can't believe we're still recycling that line.

DHM: I can't believe we're referencing Jerry Jones.

OBJ:Right, well, we might as well head along to the party.

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman and Lucky have arrived in Texas, and have been summoned, as usual, to GM the Rick's office.

FW:....because they should have their own country if they want, 'sall I'm saying, Lucky.

L: You're just saying that because--

GMtR: Do you mind?

FW: Sorry....hey!

Firewoman notices finally that Chris Jericho is there, and greets him appropriately She then notices that Vince McMahon is also there, and all three of them are all smiles.

FW: Um...Okay....what's this.

Y2J: Rick and Vince have just inked the greatest deal ever.

FW: Oh?

Y2J: It's awesome...tell her, Rick.

GMtR: Well, Vince and I had been talking, that there'd be lots of people from both promotions who'd want to be able to be at you crazy kids' wedding.

FW: Yeah, well, too bad. We're eloping in Vegas. Moose is the only one who--

VMcM: NOT ANYMORE!

FW: Huh?

GMtR: Listen to this. One Night Only.

FW: It's been done.

GMtR: Shush. Just for One Night, at the Mayhem in Vegas.....OOWF v. WWE.

FW: Huh?

GMtR: WWE superstars will wrestle with OOWF's talent in a good natured exhibition game that --

FW: For free? Shouldn't this be a PPV?

VMcM: Probably, but the dates didn't work out.

GMtR: That ends with...

FW: Why not do it the PPV after that then? Or before?

Y2J: That's the best part.

FW: Huh?

GMtR: If you'd shut up and listen....all the matches will be short, we don't want anyone hurt after all, especially since--

FW: I don't see why you're telling me this.

GMtR: SHUT UP! You need to be in the loop because the Main Event will be the nuptuals of one Chris Jericho and Firewoman.

Y2J: Awesome, right?

FW: Awesomely bad. What the fuck were you thinking? Did you agree to this before talking to me?

VMcM: *whispering to Rick* Uh oh, she's gonna go all Bridezilla on him.

Y2J: Well, no, that's what we're doing now, is getting your approval. But I think it's a great idea.

FW: What happened to Vegas?

Y2J: It'll be in Vegas, still.

FW: It was supposed to be just us. No promoters, or family, or people to fuck things up.

Y2J: I know but...

FW: But nothing. Quick, simple, and back to work. We agreed. Besides, what kind of wedding has people fighting before it?

Lucky: Actually, ritual violence and fake warfare is not unheard of in the ethnographic record. In Melanesia and New Guinea tribes would ... what?

FW: What are you, an anthropologist too?

Lucky: Well, I did my ethnographic field work among the Kodovas of India who practiced similar kind of ritual warfare as part of--

FW: *abruptly ignoring him* Besides, we talked about this already. In-ring weddings are always a disaster.

Y2J: *sighing* Okay. You're right. Sorry guys. I told you that I wouldn't go along with it unless she agreed.

GMtR: Oh, she'll agree.

FW: No "she" won't.

GMtR: Yes, "she" will, if "she" wants her World Championship shot.

FW: You're kidding.

GMtR: Nope. No ratings-inducing wedding? No title shot.

FW: You're a dick.... Fine.

Y2J: Really? Awesome! Oh, don't worry. You'll see, this will be different. Nothing bad will happen. I promise.

FW: Whatever.....I need to check in at the Chamber. You comin'?

Y2J: Yeah, we done here?

GMtR: Yeah, we're good.

Firewoman leaves, less than pleased, with Lucky and Jericho following her. Vince and Rick shake hands in the office and break out the scotch and cigars to celebrate.

[mooseheadjack]

[Voltage walks into GMtheRick's office. Again.]

Volt: BOSSMAN!

GMtR: Oh for chrissa...this isn't one of those neverending promos is it?

Volt: Nope.

GMtR: Good. So why are you here then? Wait, let me guess...you want to make sure you get a match with Davin Moreland this week!

Volt: Nope.

GMtR: ...huh?

Volt: I'm here to make sure that match DOESN'T go ahead.

GMtR: Why not?

Volt: Because I'm not under contract. Fuck wrestling a guy with that much penchant for stupidity and violence if I'm not getting paid.

GMtR: I think you're finally starting to see my point.

Volt: But...

GMtR: But what?

Volt: I want a match at the PPV, against the one guy I haven't avenged a loss to.

GMtR: Moose?

Volt: OK, two guys.

GMtR: Stank?

Volt: OK, three guys.

GMtR: Chris Alt?

Volt: OK, I GET THE POINT. I'm talking about the longest reigning Breckinridge County 'Rasslin Association's Middle-Upper-Half-Welterweight Champion...

GMtR: Surely not the one and only...

Volt: GMtR, I present to you, Mr Puck Dupp.

[Puck Dupp walks into the office with a giant TV set showing highlights from their bout from Baghdad, Kentucky on the 20th of September 2006.]

Voltage sees that Dupp is starting to show signs of wear and goes for the POWER SURGE! Wait, what's this? Dupp reverses with an irish whip to the corner! Voltage is trying to fight Dupp off, but Dupp is hauling him to the top of the turnbuckle... superplex!

Voltage is out of it, and it seems as though Dupp is two... the referee starts the ten-count... Dupp is up at five! He's moving toward Voltage as the referee continues the count and locks in the FARMBAR! That wakes Voltage up! Voltage is trying to escape and... no! VOLTAGE IS TAPPING TO THE FARMBAR! DUPP WINS AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!

GMtR: I remember this. First time ever someone has actually LOST a debut squash match.

Volt: Which is WHY I want this match at the PPV. I win, maybe you give me a contract. I lose, nothing hurt and nothing done.

GMtR: What do you say Puck?

Puck: I'm all about fairness. That's Puck Dupp.

GMtR: Enough with the profanity, country boy. You've got your match!

Volt: Whoopee! Now do I get to win my DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal title back?

Puck: I won it from The Knife earlier.

[He switches the tape.]

The Knife is preaching his Sunday sermon when suddenly the deacon rips off his robe to reveal a referee shirt...is that noted Baptist Sterling Glaw? It surely is! Puck Dupp sacreligiously hits Father The Knife with a Bible! HE'S THROWING THE BOOK AT HIM! Cover, 1, 2, 3!

Volt: Oh, that's just Puck Dupp.

GMtR: No need to tell me.

[mooseheadjack]

(Tytan is once again seen walking down the hallway talking on his cell phone.)

Tytan: Once again....thank you for the armor.....it's beautiful stuff.....I know it's all to remind me that I need to be a real Titan and not this game that is being played right now....The only problem is that I am stuck in these tag matches right now with Eco....It's good but if I really want to show how far I have come and the things I have learned then I need some singles matches.....I know I never got my shot at the IC title when I had the win over Moreland but Moose has that title now....maybe I have to find away to get noticed again. Maybe Eco may have to help out on this one...either way we have to get another win come Wednesday...and maybe someone with have to feel "The Wrath of God"....It is a cool new finisher...I just need the opportunity to show it.

(Continues walking as the camera fades.)

[mooseheadjack]

*Davin, Samantha and Alexis are TRAINING~! at an undisclosed location, in a gym with a ring and everything. Davin looks annoyed. Samantha looks annoyed. Alexis looks like she's going to kill someone. Davin and Alexis circle for a second. Alexis does a double-fake-y thing and dives for a single-leg; which Davin turns into a sweet, sweet Ricky Steamboat-quality armdrag. Alexis slams the mat with both hands*

DM: For Christ's sake Lexie, that's like the 4th time in a row I armdragged you with that weak-ass shit. This isn't IWA-Midsouth.

LD: Listen goddammit, I'm not going to stand...

SDM: You're not standing.

LD: Fine, you silly bitch. I'm not going to lie here and listen to your bullshit anymore. The Trios title thing was a long fucking time ago, and you've won it, what, 3 times since then?

DM: That's not the point.

LD: That IS the fucking point and you know it. Grow up. It was like 2 years ago and it's your fucking fault anyway.

DM: Ok, a) It wasn't my fault, I wasn't in the match, and b) that's not the point anyway.

LD: *gets to the corner and dusts herself off* Then what IS the point?

DM: The point is, we're going up a legitimate tag team this week, and I'm not even going to bother showing up if I'm gonna be in there with an amateur that I can't trust.

LD: Fuck you...Amateur. You're such a fucking douche, Davin.

SDM: He is a douche...

DM: Thanks honey.

SDM: No, listen, I mean, you ARE being a douche, but Lex, Davin's got a point. I know you've been training and all that, but this isn't Mat-Slapping Time at the Apollo with Stank, ok? Davin's coming off a couple of bullshit losses and could really use a good showing. Not to mention, you knocking off a Hall of Famer wouldn't hurt, either.

LD: So...you're a douche now, too?

DM: Oh, fucking forget it. Have fun in your handicap match, Lexie.

*Davin turns to leave*

LD: WAIT.

DM: What?

LD: Just wait a second...why DOES this matter, I mean, this is just a one-off, right? It's not like we're gonna be a permanent team or anything...why do you care?

*Davin doesn't say anything, but looks like he wants to.*

SDM: Well...he was hoping that...

DM: Don't.

SDM: What? You might as well tell her.

*Alexis looks confused, Davin looks like he wants to commit a double-homicide before resigning himself*

DM: Listen, ok. I don't just team with anyone. To me, it's important to know that the person I'm in there with is as good if not better than I am. Why do you think I never teamed with anyone...

LD: Except Alex.

DM: Yeah. Him. We were a great team that got booked as bad as we possibly could have been. We could have legit beaten anyone, but were never given the chance thanks to politics. And that's a big reason why -

LD: You turned on us?

DM: That.

LD: But why is it so important? And why ME? I mean, sure, I'm Alex's twin, but I'm certainly not the same as him in the ring.

DM: No. You're not. But, you could be. You show flashes of greatness, that's more than most people in this business. You're not consistent, to be sure, but you've got the ability...in there...somewhere...

SDM: And it's the last one.

LD: The last one what?

SDM: The last ONE.

LD: I don't under-

*She looks over at Davin, who is staring at Samantha, again with the homicide look*

LD: Oh.

SDM: And...it would be your first one.

LD: *smiles* Good point. So what you're saying is...

DM: So what Davin Moreland is saying, is that the only piece missing in this puzzle is you being able to go in the ring. Hell, we've already proven as business partners, and as leaders of the best damned stable in the history of OOWF that we're a phenomenal team. It's not an accident we're teaming this week.

SDM: Davin still has pull...

LD: With the Board.

DM: Yeah.

SDM: Yeah.

LD: ...

DM: So?

LD: So? Let's go.

*They circle again and there's a much better exchange this time, with Alexis blocking the armdrag and drilling Davin in the back of the legs. He hops back up, and bails out of the ring just in time, as Alexis sends a Bitch Kick whizzing by his chin, missing by a couple of inches.*

DM: *grinning* Yeah, something like that. Anyway, we should really go to Chad and Zane's.

SDM: Chad doesn't like me.

DM: Chad doesn't KNOW you. Chad can be...protective.

LD: He likes ME.

DM: He knows you. Anyway, this is stupid. He'll be your BFF soon enough.

*time passes, everyone's cleaned up and heading to the car*

SDM: So you guys need a name, right?

DM: Umm...we do?

LD: Well, if it's a real team we do.

DM: I s'pose. Run DEA is taken, of course.

LD: Of course. And Alex would go ballistic if it was "Darling" or "Moreland" anything.

DM: He would. We can work on it, I guess. Too bad Texpress is taken. That one is awesome.

SDM: I've got a name.

LD: Really? What?

SDM: "Nothing Happened"

*Davin and Alexis stop dead in their tracks staring at Samantha, who is laughing uncontrollably*

DM: *deadpan* Why in the hell is that funny? Shouldn't that like...BOTHER you?

SDM: No silly. *pats both Davin and Alexis on the cheek, and flashes her ring in Davin's face* I won, see?

*Samantha continues to laugh as both Davin and Alexis look like they want to puke.*

SDM: So it's official. This week, it's Team TEaM vs. Nothing Happened! Live! On Mayhem! From San Antonio, Texas!

*She starts the car up. Davin and Alexis look at each other and kind of shrug before getting in. As the camera fades out...*

LD: It's a better name than I could have come up with, anyway.

*fade*

[mooseheadjack]

Firewoman, Lucky, Jericho, and Moosehead Jack are walking the streets of San Antonio's Niosa Festival (www.niosa.org). Periodically, they get stopped for autographs and pictures, mostly for Jericho, but there's some die hard OOWF fans as well. They disperse to get food, having passed by nearly every booth and finally deciding to get stuff each person wants and then meet up again. They find a table that is clear (after Moosehead Jack glares at the children sitting there.) They all sit down.

MHJ: What'd everyone get?

Y2J: I just got me a cheeseburger, and is there nothing better than insanely greasy fair fries?

FW: Yuck.

L: They have a whole French Quarter section! I got a po' boy and some etouffee.

MHJ: These hot wings are truly hot, but I've had hotter.

Y2J: There's a stand around the corner from that one that I think used habenero sauce. I may check that out later. What'd you get, hon?

FW: There's a shocking lack of vegetarian options here.

L: It's not that shocking. It's the south. Even their tofu has ham in it.

FW: Finally found vegetable tempura in the Chinatown section. They did not at all appreciate me pointing out that was a Japanese technique, rather than a Chinese one.

L: Well, I'm starving.

The four eat and chat, and again sign autographs and pose for pictures. Lucky and Jericho decide to go in search of adult liquid refreshment for everyone.

MHJ: So....

FW: So....?

MHJ: We'll be in Japan in a week or so, but only for that one show. Think we'll have time?

FW: That all depends.

MHJ: On?

FW: If your master will give you the name.

MHJ: *scowling* He's not my... nevermind.

FW: Name would make it easier. He'd tell you.

MHJ: You should ask him yourself. Maybe you guys can...I dunno, work it out or something.

FW: That's hilarious.

MHJ: This is boring.

FW: What?

MHJ: We don't have opponents to promo against.

FW: No, no we don't.

MHJ: Doesn't that piss you off?

FW: Of course it does, but what am I supposed to do about it? It's my own fault. I'm sorry you get to be in the barely-not-dark match with me.

MHJ: Maybe I could no-show it.

FW: Ha. I could probably take both of them.

MHJ: Well, it's only a matter of time. Rick will forgive you, hell your loyal fans are probably spamming him until he relents, and then you'll be able to rip Darling's head off and win the belt.

FW:....yeah.....

MHJ: What? Don't tell me you've changed your mind.

FW: Oh no...I just don't want to wait that long....but....I do anything, and it's bye-bye title shot.

MHJ: Well, we have a dilemma then.

FW: Yep....we certainly do.

[mooseheadjack]

The camera focuses in on Ravenna Blue, walking through the back hallways of the arena in San Antonio. She seems to be looking for someone and walks right past Moose, who is sitting in an out of the way corner.

MHJ: Looking for someone?

She turns to face him.

RB: Actually, yes. I was looking for you.

MHJ: Well, seems to be your lucky day. What do you want?

She looks at him, with sincerity.

RB: I’m worried about Gryphon. And I don’t think anyone here knows him better than you. I know you don’t owe me squat, but I’d really like to ask you about what you know about him. I know he’s gone through some stuff and I want to try and help him. But I can’t do that unless I know what has happened.

She pauses and paces for a second, taking in a few deep breaths before turning back to him.

RB: Would you help me Moose?

The camera pauses on Moose’s face and fades to commercial.

[mooseheadjack]

<back to Moose and Ravenna>

MHJ: So you want to save the man that was going to save all of us?

Rav: Crete is my friend

MHJ: Crete has no friends

Rav: Look, maybe this was a mistake…..

MHJ: What’s in it for me?

Rav: I…….I have no idea. Look, you know Crete better than anyone, your feud with him was epic. I just want to know what is going on. I………..I saw the mask in his bag…….

MHJ: Crete cares about one thing and one thing only. Crete

Rav: How would that make him any different from almost every other wrestler in the OOWF?

MHJ: It doesn’t. And that is what bothers him

Rav: I don’t follow

MHJ: Crete has set a high standard for himself, he can’t live up to it. Ever. No one can. When we faced one another, I knew all I had to do to get under his skin was drag him further and further away from his standards. The more he fought me, the further he fell from his standards, the harder he fought, the further he fell. I was dragging him down, I knew it, he knew it, and there was nothing he could do about it. The madder he got, the more I won, regardless of the outcome of the match.

Rav: But what does that have to do with now?

MHJ: What has Crete done since our final match against one another?

Rav: Well, he has kind of been a little directionless

MHJ: Exactly. What good is a hero if no one is listening to the message?

Rav: But he believes his message, he really does

MHJ: Of course he does. He is demented. He preaches and preaches, and no one listens. Eco comes along, and people are listening to his message. People are drawn to Eco.

Rav: So……you think Crete is drawn to Eco? You really think he would sell out his ideals for Eco?

MHJ: Of course he would. Crete knows that his ideals are hollow. He tries to follow them, he believes in them, but he knows they are empty promises. He showed against me that he will stoop just as low as I do, only he says it is in the name of justice. Eco is offering him………a way out. Crete would never abandon his ideals on his own, but if there is someone preaching something similar……..he can let himself be taken by that. Crete has tried being a leader, and failed. He is ready to be a follower.

Rav: I just…….I just can’t believe Crete would attack people like that. That is not like him.

MHJ: A mind can only take so much. Crete cracked years ago. A year or two of irrelevance has pushed him over the edge.

Rav: There has to be something I can do……..

MHJ: Walk away. He will drag you down with him. It’s what he does

<Ravenna gets quiet for a minute studying Moose>

Rav: No. I can’t walk away. This is not Crete. It can’t be.

<Rav turns to walk away, as she leaves Moose calls out>

MHJ: Just remember, the advice wasn’t free. I’m sure at some point, the Five will collect.

<Ravenna shudders a bit and keeps walking>

[mooseheadjack]

Chad Madison meets up with Zane Myers at a Bill Miller's Bar-B-Q for Lunch before Mayhem

Chad: What are you doing the res of the day? We hitting the film room some more?

Zane: No.

Chad: What are you going to do?

Zane: I thought I'd spend some time at Methodist Children's Hospital then ... I dunno

Chad: You're going to go spend hours on the Tower of The Americas, aren't you?

Zane:..... Probably

Chad: (shakes his head) You and that observation deck.

Zane: I can't explain it. Every time I leave there, I just feel.... good

Chad: Well enjoy that. I'll go with you to Methodist. Past that, I'll be at Sea World. see you at the arena

(They bump knuckles and we fade........)

[mooseheadjack]

SFJ: Lionheart, last week you learned that the man who has been stalking you for weeks is none other than Damon Wrath.

Evans: I still have no idea why exactly he holds a grudge against me, but I can see where he’s coming from. My past hasn’t exactly been a honest one, so for right now, I’m gonna chalk it up to karma being a bitch. Since this feud of ours is obviously far from over Wrath, I took the liberty of going to GM The Rick, and got him to book a rematch this week. Since you got the honor of making the stipulations for last week, this week is my turn.

We’re gonna have a match where the odds are more in my favor: my specialty, a Ladder Match.

SFJ: Finally, what are your thoughts on Crete attacking your Sanctum partner, Alexis Darling?

E: Right now, as cold as it may sound, I need to focus on my match right now. Crete’s definitely got deep-seated issues, but Wrath showed last week that he’ll stop at nothing to make sure I’m taken out for good. Ravenna’s gonna have to deal with this issue on her own until after tonight.

*fade to black*

[mooseheadjack]

*Ric Flair's Sub Shop*

Alexis Darling and Ravenna Blue are chatting as they wait for their lunch when Crete walks in and pats Ravenna on the shoulder. Before Crete can even get a word out, Alexis takes him and pushes him against the wall.

Alexis: I should kill you right here and now.

Crete: Citizen Darling, I assure you...

Alexis: Don't give me none of that citizen bullshit. You stay out of my business from here on Gryfon.

Crete: I was never in your business Cit...Alexis. I promise you that I'm being set-up.

Alexis: Fool me once, shame on me Gryfon. You show your face during another of my matches and it will be shame on you. I'm trying to step out on my own here and I don't care what you think you're trying to prove or who you're trying to save. Stay away from me.

Crete: But Alexis, if we're going to...

Alexis: WE are going to do nothing together. I joined up with Ravenna and Chris because we have the same goals in mind. I have never and will never trust you. I want nothing to do with you. In fact, I've lost my appetite. I'll talk to you later Ravenna.

Ravenna: Alexis, come on...I'm sure we can...

Alexis: Rav, I know you think you're doing the right thing by supporting him but you're wrong. You have people you can really trust now. But I know that's a lesson you need to learn on your own. I've gotta go anyway. Need to deal with Davin and his attitude.

*Fade*

[mooseheadjack]

MOMENTS AGO before she was eating with Alexis at Ric's, Ravenna was in The Chamber Of the Five when Firewoman walked in and saw her talking with Moose.

FW: What the fuck is this?

RB: I was just leaving.

FW: Good idea. By the way, get between Darling and me again, and I'm not responsible for what happens to you.

Ravenna turns back and walks up to Firewoman.

RB: Just because I'm not an ultraviolent psychopathic bitch like you are doesn't mean I'm a pushover, either. So maybe stay out of matches that aren't yours.

Ravenna leaves, in the direction of Ric's Sandwich Shop, and Firewoman smiles.

FW: She's got potential after all. What was that all about?

MHJ: She's looking for info about Hero-boy.

FW: I'm sure you told her--

They are interrupted by Poe and Selena entering. Firewoman and Moose communicate via some sort of strange sign language. Fire wants Moose to do something NOW, and Moose is arguing, silently, but finally throws up his hands, as Fire wins today's round of 'Which One Is More Stubborn.'

MHJ: Mouse, why don't we go get something to eat.

Sa-T: I'm not hungry.

MHJ: Well, come keep me company then.

Sa-T: I'm tired, it was a long day.

Poe looks at Moose and Fire, recognizing something is up. Fire whispers to Poe.

FW: I'd encourage her if I were you, unless you want her to know about some of your shady past.

Poe glares at Fire a moment.

Poe: Go with uncle Moose, dear. Bring me back a sandwich.

Selena pouts a minute and then goes with Moose. Moose looks back over his shoulder at Fire with a look, but Fire motions him to get out of there already.

Poe: Alright, what is it.

FW: We need to work this out between us. For the good of the Five.

Poe: What is there to work out. You blame me for your unfortunate injury, I find your temper tantrums childish and annoying.

FW: I did apologize for skipping out.

Poe: You did, and I want to believe you are sincere, but--

FW: So prove it.

Poe: Prove it? You want me....to prove to you....

FW: Drop the tone. I made sure you were called in when I came back as... as a gesture that I was sincere.

Poe: Fine. I'm assuming you want something in return for that. You always do.

FW: I'd argue the point, but you're right this time. I do want something.

Poe: Okay, what.

FW: The name.

Poe: Whose name.

FW: Three guesses.

Poe stares at Fire, clearly thinking through all the implications and all the possible outcomes.

Poe: Suppose I do not know his name?

FW: Suppose you stop bullshitting me. You expect me to believe you didn't know everyone in that cage?

Poe: .....

FW: .....

Poe: I'll have to think back. It was a while ago.

FW: Yeah, well don't take too long. We'll only be in Japan for a short time. And it's not just for me. "Ket" would like it, too.

Firewoman turns to go to her locker room.

Poe: You know this would only bring more trouble to you, professionally as well as personally.

FW: That's not your concern.

Poe: What if I truly don't remember?

FW: *pausing and turning* Then I guess I might just conveniently forget where your former Queen Sydney is hanging out these days.

Poe's face turns to stone. Firewoman smiles, makes sure the ninja cam hears that last bit, and walks into her Locker Room.