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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 17:32:56 GMT -5
*The Team From Down Under is still in the limo*
Wally (on cell phone): Just make sure she remembers to answer to "Erin" and mentions she used to be a gymnast, and I'll be sure to put in a good word and get you promoted out of Dayton. OK, I have to take another call.
What? He wants to order a video of the sheep doing that? OK, find a sheila who can do a Puerto Rican accent and another one with a nice rack and a pasty complexion. The customer is always right. If he thinks it'll get his girlfriend to agree to a threesome, who am I to say no?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 17:33:20 GMT -5
(Hurri-crete waits for Moose to get back from his temper tantrum. He turns off all the lights in the locker room except for one, which shines in Moose's eyes when he enters)
MHJ: >.< what the f.....
CTG: (voice deeply serious) Moose.
MHJ: I'm not going to listen to any more of your crap
CTG: You're GOING to listen this time. (voice seems to change position though no movement is heard) The reason we're failing is not because of my belief in justice in the OOWF, and I'd be wrong to say it's because of your twisted sense of destruction.
MHJ: well someone is f**king everything up around here, and I wasn't the one who got pinned last week.
CTG: regardless. What we are doing wrong here is not acting as a TEAM. There's no "I" in team-
MHJ: (snorts) there's a "Me" in "Team"
CTG: (voice growing impatient) shut up.
MHJ: !
CTG: You want victory? You want me to WORK with you? Coercision is only good for the short term, Jack. Now we do this another way. You want to destroy people? Fine. I have ground rules now.
MHJ: (growls) you don't make the rules around here
CTG: You HAVE no rules. And without rules, absolute chaos implodes. Absolutely. So now we wil have.... rules.
MHJ: You can't rule me
CTG: (voice changing position again) I'll make them simple and short. You prefer that.
1 - neither of us will lose sight of each other during the match.
2 - weapons will be reserved for double-teaming purposes.
3 - You WILL be here earlier so that we may train on tag-team maneuvers. I have a short list of simple and devastating maneuvers that will exact justice and embrace both of our strengths.
4 - any variance of these rules will be our defeat.
MHJ: ..........
CTG: You will think about those until show time. You like to brood, add this to your schedule.
MHJ: Are you done?
CTG: (suddenly next to Moose in the light) Not until you get it through your head that while I LIKE the fact you're upset, I was hoping you'd channel it to our team and not to pointless, lawless violence.
(CTG reaches up and turns the light off)
MHJ: !?!? Concrete? Concrete??
(there is no answer.......)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 17:33:45 GMT -5
<The camera remains in the dark for a few minutes, we can still hear Moose breathing, finally we hear the chair sccot back and hear MHJ leaving the room.>
Jack catches Concrete in the parking lot, Jack grabs CTG by the arm and spins him around, Concrete braces himself for the fight
CTG: Well? MHJ: Well, let's go. CTG <looks confused> where? MHJ: Look, we tried things my way, they didn't work, we tried things your way, they didn't work, so as I see it, this is the best kind of compromise we are going to get. Now let's go, I am actually interested in hearing about these moves that will cripple people CTG: I never said they would cripple people MHJ: Oh, trust me, when I do them, it will hurt someone, now let's go CTG: You going like that? MHJ: Like what? CTG: You are covered in blood, Scheme Gene blood. MHJ: So? It's dried, it won't come off in the car. Trust me
<fade out>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 17:34:14 GMT -5
Scheme Gene is once again in the back, this time with Underdawg.
SG: We just heard from former champion, Microplay. Now we have his opponent at this week's Midweek Mayhem, the phenom, the Dead Mutt, the Underdawg.
UD: I thought you were in the hospital. I saw you suffer a severe beating at the street fight.
SG: I got better.
UD: You're not one of your cousins, then? Clean Gene or Lean Gene, or Akeem The African Gene?
SG: They all got laid off months ago, big man. I'm the only one left.
UD: You heal quickly.
SG: Thank you. Now Underdawg, you just heard what Microplay had to say about defeating you in the Inferno Casket Match months ago, which put you out of commission for quite some time. Now you face him once again on this week's Midweek Mayhem and as we just heard, he's very confident about his chances. Very few OOWF Superstars have that kind of confidence when they face you. What do you have to say?
UD: Scheme Gene.... Microplay has every right to be confident about his chances. What he did to me during the Inferno Casket Match, no one else could have been able to do. Because most people are either too afraid, too stupid, too decrepit, or too weak to push The Underdawg to that limit. Microplay has earned my respect as a competetor. It's a shame that I will have to destroy his body, ruin his mind, crush his heart, and eat his soul.
SG: Eat his soul! Egads, you're sadistic!
UD: I'm not literally going to eat his soul, Scheme Gene. It's a metaphor for the pain I will inflict to him when he steps into my yard and takes a 7'2" 300 pound immortal, primal beating.
SG: That sounds painful! So if you're not going to eat his soul, are you going to lick his poop?
UD: Come again?
SG: Well, you are a dog. And that's what dogs *urk!*
Underdawg grabs Scheme Gene by the throat and lifts him up for a tremendous chokeslam! Immediately EMTs rush to the scene (in the background) and pile Scheme Gene on a stretcher to take him back to the hospital.
Underdawg turns to the camera: Microplay. Bring your A-Game this Wednesday. I'll be looking forward to doing battle once again. This time, you will Rest In Peace....
The sound of Scheme Gene's cell phone ringing can be heard as the cameras fade to black.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 17:34:38 GMT -5
Stank and FF Capslock are in the back when EMT's push Scheme Gene by on a stretcher. They pause to tend to Gene's wounds and SG's cell can be heard ringing.
FF Caps - I hate those annoying cell phone ringtones. What is that?
Stank - It sounds like Luda's "Who let these Ho's in my room"
FF Caps - Luda? What is that? Rap?
Stank - Yeah. Luda as in Ludacris. The guys real name is Chris. You see it's a play on his name.
FF Caps - Whatever. I hate rap.
Stank - Yeah I do too sometimes.
FF Caps - Dude, aren't you from the (emphasis with quote fingers) "Muddy South?"
Stank - (Looking at FF Capslock like he's dumb) That's DIRTY south. Could you BE anymore white?
Stank grabs Scheme Gene's phone.
Stank - Hello?
SG's Phone - Baaaaaaa
Stank - The fuck?
Stank flips the phone shut and stuffs it down Gene's shirt pocket.
Stank - pervert.
FF Caps - Who was it?
Stank - Nevermind. Let's just get over to ...
Just then Firechild happens to wander by.
FF Caps - Firechild! Just the man we wanted to see.
FC - I was just heading over to Alt's house. I heard there was a party.
Hardbody walks by with Fieval on his shoulder.
HH - Party's over. Just Beast and AA there now. It was a slobberknocker but needed more Kane, if you know what I mean. I mean I just got there at the tail end of it but, you missed some great girl on girl porn though.
FC - Ass eating?
HH - Of course.
Stank - I never cared for that.
FF Caps, Firechild, Fieval and Hardbody all turn and look at Stank.
Stank - Yeah, Yeah for hilariously obvious reasons. Look Harris we're trying to have a conversation, you mind?
HH walks off
FF Caps- Firechild we just wanted to give you a friendly warning.
Stank - Yeah, don't even THINK about interfering in our match with your boys 3 piece set.
FF Caps - Or you will get the beating of your life.
Stank - One where defending that belt of yours will be the least of your worries. We will haunt you. You'll never be able to wash my stank off of you.
Firchild just grins and walks away.
Stank - You think he got the message
FF Caps - I guess. Now we're supposed to meet up with OBJ and Gatorbait for dinner at the local Outback.
Stank - What?
FF Caps - We need to establish an understanding.
Camera fades
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 17:35:04 GMT -5
*Wally sits at the head of a table, with FFC and Stank on one side, OBJ and GB on the other*
Wally: OK, let's say that Stank is the Bloomin' Onion. FFC is the bread basket, OBJ is the ketchup, and GB is the steak sauce...
OBJ: But we already ate the appetizers!
FFC: Can we have some more?
Wally: My point was, I have done the felicific calculus, triangulated all the possibilities, and navigated a path to a beneficial outcome.
Stank: I thought we came here to fight!
GB: I thought so too!
Wally: Gentlemen, I submit that you are holding each other back from your goals. Interfering in eachother's matches will do more harm than good to your revenue maximization.
OBJ: I'm still hungry.
Stank: I'll give you a bug if you guys don't run in on our match.
OBJ: If you'll promise the same.
Stank: Deal!
OBJ: Deal! *eats bug*
Wally: I see I have a lot of work to do here. What the hell! Let's have another round.
*waitress brings another round of Foster's 25 oz. cans, and the Beast pops out*
Beast: So, is Donny Viper gay or what?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 17:35:24 GMT -5
(Hurri-crete and Moosey arrive at what looks lke an abandoned building. HC lets Moose inside and they walk through what looks to be an abandoned gymnasium or wrestling training facility)
MHJ: what is this place?
CTG: I learned of this place about four years ago, when I was between jobs. I come here when I need the solitude and silence. my personal fortress.
MHJ: (muttering) I expected brighter colors.
CTG: It's in this place I found a library in the basement, Here is where I found things that not only make me a better wrestler, but sometimes a better person.
MHJ: (snorts) whatever, let's get to training.
CTG: (walking down the stairs to the basement) we're going to study first.
MHJ: "Study"?
(CTG walks into a dusty room, where the shelves are lined with film reels and videotapes.)
CTG: I think some history will warm you up to the training.
(CTG threads an old film carefully through the projector and turns it on. The film's images can't be seen on screen, but the slow grin of sinister delight on Moose's face is enough)
MHJ: ....... I didn't think you'd have something like this.
CTG: A good wrestler has to know a little bit about everything. Now, we watch.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:02:07 GMT -5
A PAID FOR (AND PRE-TAPED) BROADCAST ON BEHALF OF THE 3 PIECE SET. ------------------------------------------------------
The screen is black, the semi-acoustic tones of 'the Unforgiven' filter through the arena.
Firechild's voice can be heard, over the music, as images of himself and the 3PS holding aloft their gold flicker across the screen.
Desire.
Men desire many things, respect, adoration, accolades, GOLD.............
Cole takes up the narration
Envy.
All men envy that which others have, that which we posess.
Ax continues the monologue.
That which we have, gold, groupies, success.
All three finish.
And none of you can take it from us.
Images of the recently concluded streetfight, with Firechild and the 3PS battling Thim, Semaj, Seraph and FF&C are mixed in with stills from Firechild's succesful run through the Onslaught tournament, victories over Semaj, Westgaard, Capellan, Seraph and Thim, his backstage beatings of Semaj and LD Williams, as the music changes to the more aggressive 'Leper Messiah.'
FC: Seraph, many have stood in my way and none have been able to stop me. You say I have lost my way. I say you are deluded and that your misguided crusade will buy you neither my 'salvation' or my title. You say that I do not understand, but I say that it is you who does not understand. But you will know, what it is to BURN.......
The music changes again to Harverster of Sorrow.....
Ax & Cole: Capslock & Stank, you think you can take our titles, join the list of wannabes. Nobody can touch the 3 Piece Set, 'cause we are a breed apart. We play harder, party harder, screw harder and most of all we wrestle harder.
The music cuts off and we cut to a shot of the three members, holding their gold in the ring.
Cole: You envy us, and you can't take what we have. Accept it.
Ax: Were just better than you.
FC: And were not gonna change...for anyone.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:04:01 GMT -5
FF Capslock and Stank walk out to the ring to a mix reaction from the crowd.
FF Capslock - Ax. Cole. You guys have been champs for a long time now. You've faced many teams and I guess it's true that it's better to be lucky than good.
Stank - The problem is you guys believe your own hype. You can edit video vignettes with all the footage you want and yeah it looks nice. Hey Caps and I like your work you're very... creative. You think on your feet and so far it's all worked out in your favor.
FF Capslock - You know what you'd see if we were to make a video? Blood. Carnage. Chaos. Regardless of whether we win or lose our opponents know they've been in a fight. We can wrestle. We prefer to hurt people.
Stank - Ask Outback Jack and Gaitorbait, better yet, ask Hellion and Corax. Those two were never the same after we were done with them.
FF Capslock - You have never faced a team like us before. Our little dances in the past have always been interrupted. You've never gotten the full brunt of the beating that's coming to ya. You talk about wannabe's? We are the real deal.
Stank - And hey it's nothin personal, it's just business. You have something we want and the only way we can get it, is to take it... by force. That is unless you just want to hand the titles over to us now, but I know that's not your style. Your egos would never allow it.
FF Capslock - So what it boils down to is this. Make your videos, screw your hos and party like it's 1999 because when you're lying on your backs, staring up at the lights and you hear the ref count 1...2...3 your luck has just run out. The party's over and your belts... have new owners.
Stank - Feel it, Fear it
Smell it.
Run.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:04:26 GMT -5
Uncle Entity is being interviewed by SFJ 7.5 (the double amputee)
SFJ 7.5: Uncle Entity, you threw your former partner Mercury through a barber shop window last week. Why did you turn your back on him and leave such a promising tag team?
UE: Well, consider that Mercury was getting pinned or beat to smithereens in all our matches and I did have a decent singles career in the indies before cmoming here and joining up with that high-flying loon, I had to do it. Besides, I think the collective memory of the OOWF fanbase is about three weeks so, if things don't work out in my singles career, I can always join back up with Merc and the announcers can explain away the entire feud with a few sentences like, "These guys just started seeing eye-to-eye again" or "They have patched up their differences." But right now I totally want to wail on Mercury and give him a new definition of the word suffering.
SFJ 7.5: But when you had Mercury around, you had a friend, someone to back you up in the locker room, what are you going to do without his support?
UE: I'm glad you asked, because I would like to introduce the OOWF to my new manager, Jesse Garon from the Tupelo territory.
(In walks an Elvis impersonator with skelton, Vampiro-style make-up. This is the young, handsome Elvis, not fat Honky Tonk Man Elvis)
UE: Jesse is the ghost of Elvis Presley's twin brother who died in childbirth. Now he walks the Earth, smashing guitars over people's heads. He'll come in handy.
(SFJ 7.5 is speechless.)
UE: What are you doing later baby? What a hot bod you have. I've seen girls like you in Internet newsgroups. I like what I have seen. What you think Jesse?
Jesse Garon: (In Elvish) Uh-uh-huh.
(SFJ 7.5 is titilated. UE scoopes her up and hauls her off to his dressing room)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:04:50 GMT -5
*The TFDU is back in the limo*
OBJ: Think they'll stay out of our business this week?
GB: I trust them less far than I can throw them.
Wally: Only thing I'm sure of is that Stank smells worse than Roturua. *sprays some cologne on.* At least I'll have your backs now.
OBJ: Now be careful not to do anything that might get us disqualified.
Wally: No worries, Jack. Discretion is my middle name. *adjusts his cape, dons a matching hat adorned with large emu feathers*
OBJ: I thought it was Bernard.
GB: Sure, Wally, you'll blend right in.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:05:23 GMT -5
*Extreme closeup of Niles face. He's still out cold. All of a sudden, his eyes start to flicker. His hand rubs across his face as he lets out a groan.*
Niles - where am I?
*The sounds of moaning lesbians and cheesy funk music is playing closeby. Niles gets up and walks in the house. Curled up on the couch are Attitude Adjuster and Hardbody Harris, sleeping.*
Niles - what the fuck?
*All of a sudden, Niles hears someone else groaning. He follows the sound to the bathroom where he finds Chris Alt.*
Alt - Ahg, how you feeling man?
Niles - what the hell happened.
Alt - We got jumped by Donnie Viper and his crew last night.
Niles - that's odd. My ass isn't sore at all. But I do have this awful taste in my mouth.
Alt - not that kind of jumping.
Niles - oh.
*Niles just looks confused, so he goes back out to the living room, where Attitude is still curled up with Hardbody. Niles shakes Attitude.*
Niles - Wake up man.
AA - I'm up, I'm up.
*Niles looks up at Hardbody, gets a devious look across his face, then decides against it.*
Niles - I know I really should stomp this guy, but this whole morning is really awkward. I just want to get out of here. You got a breathmint, Attitude? I gotta get this awful taste from my mouth.
AA - sorry man, I got nothing.
Niles - Let's get out of here.
*Attitude and Niles get up and leave the sleeping Hardbody Harris. Camera zooms in on his content face. Fade to Black.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:05:49 GMT -5
*Chris Alt emerges from the bathroom and finds Hardbody Harris by himself on the couch, clutching a pillow. Alt nudges Harris, who responds by grumbling and turning over. After a few more unsuspected attempts, Alt climbs on top of his bookcase, signals to an imaginary crowd, and lands a devastating flying elbow drop onto the sternum of the slumbering grappler.*
*Alt stands up and waits with a smirk on his face, and an instant later Hardbody springs to life, awake but slightly confused. He turns around and focuses on Alt.*
HH: What the hell was that, brother?
Alt: Reviving Elbow Drop. I saw it done on TV once, so I figured it might work on the #1 FACE IN THE OOWF! Ooooh Yeah!
HH: Oh. So, uh…that was a strange night, huh?
Alt: I’ll say. All I know is that Niles and I were thrown through my window and later beaten up by Viper and his crew. When I came to, Niles was still out, and you were curled up with Attitude Adjuster after a night of hardcore pornography.
HH: WE DIDN’T FILM ANYTHING!
Alt: No, you were watching it. Niles pulled AA from your arms and they left just a few minutes a go.
HH: Wow, that’s kind of embarrassing. I mean, I do have a tag match against them tonight. It’s going to be hard to subject them to some HARDBODY VIOLENCE after bonding like that.
Alt: Yeah, porn does bring friends closer.
They both pause and look at the TV, which is still playing a looped scene of an extreme ass-eating close-up.
HH: Yeah. I gotta go. Where’s Fievel?
Alt: He’s in the guest bedroom sleeping. The poor guy was in a birdbath all night!
HH: Okay. Oh, sorry about your place, man. Can Fievel stay here for a bit? I have to talk to Canadian Dragon about our match tonight, and I don’t want to bring him around.
Alt: Sure. I’ll just close his door and uh…put…the…DVD…away. Yeah. Bye!
*Hardbody leaves, and Alt slides onto the couch with a smile on his face.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:06:17 GMT -5
Donovan Viper and The Devil's Brigade are walking in the hallways of the arena. A bruised and tired Niles Anderson approaches them.
NA: Who the hell do you guys think you are, jumping me like that last night?
DV: Huh? I don't know what you're talking about. Do you, Tommy?
TO: Neh. 'arpa?
HC: Nope.
NA: Oh shut up, asshole. I know the taste of your Death Elbow anywhere.
DV: Damn right you do! (pause) Um, but it wasn't me, er, us! Although you might want to talk to that crew of new guys and the hockey boy in the Onslaught Division. I kept hearing Tommy Wilder talk about an EXTREEEEME beatdown last night, Capellan talking about screeching taxi cab getaways, and JW Westgaard doing a cross body check on Chris Alter Boy. Go talk to those bitches.
NA: I could hear your fucking voices you idiot! What kind of fool do you take me for, Viper?
DV: Um.... A big one. (pause as Niles glares) Run!
Viper takes off in the other direction. Harper Camby and Tommy O'Neill stay put and look at each other in confusion.
NA: You're not going to run off with him?
TO: 'en why should we? Ah dunno why 'e ran off. Dere's tree of us, an' only the one of yew.
HC: Actually, Tommy. There's only two of us now.
TO: All de same. 'es not like mista champyon 'ere kin teke us both un.
NA: Why do you guys hang out with that jackass anyway?
TO: Nun uv ye fekkin biznus, ye bleedin' cunt!
Tommy and Harper turn around to see Moosehead Jack immediately behind them. Harper puts up his dukes and Tommy does the same in Niles' direction.
MHJ laughs: Boys, boys boys. As much as I'd love to have blindsided you and pounded you two into the ground here with Niles to ensure victory tonight in my match against you two tonight, I'd prefer to have the satisfaction of exacting my revenge from last week's match with you two fully rested.
TO: De only satisfacshun ye'll git is de satisfacshun uv me left 'ook en de side of ye mush. Agin.
MHJ: Oh, there won't be an "again" O'Neill. Last week was an anomalie. This week will be reality. Trust me.
Tommy and Harper leave carefully.
MHJ: Niles, what did I tell you about hanging out with Chris Alt? Didn't I tell you that bad things were going to happen? Didn't I tell you nothing good was going to come out of it?
Niles merely points to his championship belt and smiles, and then walks off.
**** apologies if I wrote too much for Tommy, Harper, Niles, and Moose, but as I kept typing, that's the scenario that played out in my head ****
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:06:41 GMT -5
Harper & Tommy finally catch up with Viper after he ran from Niles.
HC: Donnie, we need to talk for a minute
DV: (out of breath) ok......is.......Niles.....following...
HC: No, and that is one of the reasons we need to chat
TO: Why de fek ar ya runin froom a dum wanka lik Nailz fa?
DV: What......the.....f*ck......did
HC: Tommy, let me do the talking. (To Donnie) We want to know why your running from Niles. If you are going to drag us out from a night of drinking to dress up like Team Extreme Wankers to beat up Niles, AA, and Alt, why are you running from Niles in a 3 on 1 situation? I'm starting to question your leadership man. You need to calm yourself. You are upset about losing the Title and I don't blame you. But focus on one thing at a time and leave the rest for me and Tommy. Take some time, think about it. Me and Tommy will be at the pub after the show tonight. You should come out with us and try to relax.
*Harper pats Viper on the back and then him and Tommy walk off.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:07:07 GMT -5
*Hardbody Harris pulls into a Tim Hortons parking lot when he sees a OOWF Production Truck, and the Hurricrete-mobile. As he gets out of his car a young fan comes up to him.*
YF: "OH my god! It's Hardbody Harris! Are you hear to get a double-double like our hero Canadian Dragon?"
HH: "What the heck is a double double? And Canadian Dragon is a hero?"
*Hardbody stops talking when he notices a bunch of stunning Canadian beer models trying to get Canadian Dragon's autograph. Hardbody gets the attetion of the one of the girls.*
HH: "What the hell is wrong with you people...you do know that Dragon is a thief and a kidnapper right?"
SCBM#1: "Yeah...but he's just sooooo dreamy. Plus it's not like he hurt Fievel or anything. That was all about getting you back to the OOWF."
HH: "Aboot? What the fuck does 'aboot" mean? Screw it...HEY DRAGON, get over here!"
*CD walks over to Hardbody and hands him a coffee.*
CD: "Hey man, you want a Timbit or something? Just don't have one with fruit filling."
HH: "Why not? And by the way...you never did apologize for taking Fievel...."
*Just then Donovan viper walks in.*
DV: "Oh crap...I mean GREAT! It's the number one face in the OOWF and the mouse-napper Dragon! Ummmm....you guys haven't seen Niles have you? And holy shit, what's with all the girls?"
HH: "Dragon's fanclub."
DV: "Really? I mean those girls have some killer clothes...I mean where do you get shoes like that?"
*Hardbody and Dragon both give Viper an odd look.*
DV: "Ummm...I mean look at the tits on them...seriously, look at them!"
CD: "Yeah, look man...it's OK. You're in Canada now...we don't care if you're gay."
DV: "I am not gay!"
HH: "Sure anyways, no we hahven't seen Niles, but if we do....."
*Hardbody's face goes red with anger as he starts mumbling giberish.*
DV: "What's iup with him?"
CD: "Niles hit Fievel....Hardbody's pissed...want a Timbit?"
DV: "Nah...but I will take a Bostoncream donut. They are soooo tasty."
CD: "Whatever...just be carefull becasue..."
*Just then Viper bites into his donut and THE BEAST POPS OUT!!!*
CD: "See...this is why you don't eat anything with a filling in hear. Come on ladies, we need to find Niles and AA."
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:19:06 GMT -5
Stank and FF Capslock are Walking~! They see Niles walk by with a shit-eating grin on his face holding his belt. They approach Moosehead as he grabs a paper cup of coffee from a nearby table.
Stank - Moosey.
MHJ - Stinky. Caps. How can I help you?
FFCaps - We have a match with 3 Piece Set coming up. We just wanted to let you know that we're not going out there just to soften them up for you and Mighty Mouse. We will become the next tag team champions.
MHJ - Are you two dense or what? What makes you think that I care about what you do to Ax and Cole?
Stank - We're not dumb. We know you have stroke around here and we know how you like to manipulate things.
MHJ - Boys listen. Your vast overestimation of my character aside, me and my partner have been on a LOSING streak. Do you think I like losing? I got into this game for one thing and one thing only. To win tag team gold. So there! Yeah. The BIG secret is out. I'm part of a tag-team and I want the tag-titles. So what?
FF Caps - Don't try to patronize us Moosehead. You're conniving. You know it and we know it.
Stank - And all we're saying to you is as long as your tactics don't get in the way of our obtaining the tag-straps then you and us... don't have a problem.
MHJ - This is rich... OK... fine. We don't have a problem, but suppose you do win the tag team titles? What then? You think Crete and I, or any other tag-team for that matter, aren't gonna come gunning for you? What are we supposed to just... cower in fear while you two hold the straps.
Stank - All we're saying is anything you got planned before we get the titles, keep us out of it. After we get the gold, do whatever you want. Caps and I will be wai... what are you looking at?
MHJ - At a continuity error... look.
FF Capslock and Stank turn to look at what Jack is staring at. Hardbody Harris is approaching with Fieval on his shoulder.
quote:originally posted by Blown Spot
Hardbody Harris - Party's over. Just Beast and AA there now. It was a slobberknocker but needed more Kane, if you know what I mean. I mean I just got there at the tail end of it but, you missed some great girl on girl porn though.
FF Caps - Um... Yeah Harris... you told us that already.
Stank - Yeah dude. That was like a while ago.
HH - I did? Weird.
FF Caps - Yeah, remember? Firechild was standing here. He asked you about ass eating then Stank sai...
Stank - NEVERMIND WHAT I SAID.
Harris shrugs and walks off.
FF Caps - That was weird.
Stank - Yeah like Deja vu.
Moosehead Jack - Must be an echo in the Matrix.
FF Caps - Wha?
Stank - (shaking his head) nevermind that. Just remember what we've discussed.
MHJ - Oh I will. Trust me.
Stank - About as far as I can throw Crete.
FF Caps - Actually you could probably throw Hurricrete pretty far.
Stank - ... ... I know ... I'm just saying ... ...
FFCapslock and Moosehead just stare at Stank.
Stank - ... ... Your mommas.
Capslock and Stank walk away. Moosehead stands there with a smirk on his face.
MHJ - I don't suffer fools lightly.
ConcreteTG - Who you talking to?
MHJ - AH! Don't sneak up on me like that!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:21:42 GMT -5
MidWeek Mayhem 25 Live From Shediac, New Brunswick
Cold Opening: OOWF’s reigning World Champion Niles Anderson is accompanied by Attitude Adjuster as they reminisce about the past few weeks. They flirt with a few of the Sexy Female Journalists as the venture towards the locker room area.
NA: Isn’t it beautiful? AA: What? NA: That (points to the plaque engraved with OOWF CHAMP Niles Anderson) That is how you treat your world champion. AA: Yeah, hope I get one of those when I take the IC belt from whichever loser has it after tonight. AA opens the door… AA: What the... His sentence is cut short with a stiff boot to the midsection. Off balance, he careens into an equally stunned NA, crushing him against the wall. BD emerges from the locker room and tosses AA inside. BD: I’ll deal with you later. As he slams the door shut, NA regains his composure and the two of them slug it out for a moment until NA grabs his fallen travel bag and home run swings it towards BD. BD ducks and shoves him hard against the door, just as AA is opening it. AA catches him but before he can make another move, security rounds the corner. BD: (smiling broadly) Good luck in your match tonight, champ. [/i]
Ross: Wow Razz, looks like Blackdragon is sending a little message to the other champion! Razz: You got that right Razz, Blackdragon is not a man of many words, when he speaks people tend to take notice. Ross: Welcome to OOWF MidWeek Mayhem! Tonight is the start of OOWF’s Extreme Vengeance Canadian Tour! All summer long the OOWF will be traveling throughout the Great White North bringing the fine folks in Canada hot OOWF action! Razz: And tonight is no exception Ross, we have three title matches for you, and one big main event tag team match! Firechild defends the Onslaught Championship against Seraph Ross: That’ll be a great one Razz, also Blackdragon defends the Intercontinental Title against LD Williams, and 3Piece Set defend their tag team titles against FF Capslock and Stank! Razz: Then in the main event of the evening, Hardbody Harris and Canadian Dragon face off against Niles Anderson and Attitude Adjuster! I can’t wait! Ross: Neither can I Razz, lets head to the ring where Morte faces off against Semaj B. Semaj has been on a bit of a winning streak as of late, and I for one certainly hope that he gets a title shot against Blackdragon soon. Razz: You said it Ross, and that would be one helluva match, but first Semaj has to get past Morte, let’s head to the ring!
MORTE vs. SEMAJ B
Semaj and Morte slowly circle each other slowly looking for an opening. Morte darts in a few times trying to fake Semaj out. Morte presses his luck one too many times and when he darts in, Semaj kicks him in the side of the head. Morte drops to one knee, and when he does, Semaj rolls him up in a mahistrol cradle for a quick two count. Both men get to their feet and Morte charges; Semaj grabs a side headlock and takes him over and down to the mat. Morte doesn’t stay down long, and works his way back to a vertical base. Morte tries to whip Semaj to the ropes, but Semaj puts on the brakes. Morte turns and tries to send Semaj to the opposite ropes, but once again Semaj puts on the brakes. Finally Morte just lifts Semaj and drops him backward into a belly-to-back suplex. Morte is quick to his feet and hits the ropes and connects with a moonsault from the middle rope. Morte covers but only gets a two count. Morte pulls Semaj to his feet, spins him around and hits an exploder suplex with a bridge for a two count. Semaj is just able to get his shoulder up before the three count. Morte takes over, sending Semaj to the ropes and catching him with a frankensteiner, Morte hooks the legs and gets another two count. Morte is beginning to show his frustration a bit and takes it out on Semaj with a series of stiff kicks to the mid section. Morte hits Semaj with a snap suplex and climbs to the top rope. Morte flies and kills SB with a guillotine leg drop. Cover, the ref hits the mat three times, but the ref tells him Semaj had his hand up just a fraction of a second before his hand hit the mat. Morte is livid and backs the ref into the corner and argues with him. This allows Semaj to recover a bit and regain his composure. When Morte turns around, Semaj unleashes a barrage of chops and forearms that sends Morte to the outside. Semaj follows him out, and bounces Morte’s head off the Kurdish Announce Table. Morte retaliates by going to Semaj’s eyes and hitting a spinning neck breaker on the floor. Semaj is stunned. Morte rolls him on top of the Kurdish Announce Table and climbs to the top rope. Morte leaps with a beautiful Swan Dive moon sault, but at the last second Semaj rolls off the table and Morte crashes through the table to the floor below. The fans erupt “HOOLY SHIT, HOOLY SHIT” (they’re Canadian, remember?) Semaj pulls Morte out of the wreckage of the table and rolls him into the ring. Semaj gets Morte to his feet and hits him with Live and Let Die. Cover 1,2,MORTE KICKS OUT! Damn, I thought he was done! Semaj almost looks impressed gets Morte back to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a release Northern Lights suplex. Another cover, another Morte kick out at 2. Semaj finally looks a little frustrated, waits once again for Morte to get up, hits the Double Agent, and immediately turns it into a Rings of Saturn. Morte is trapped in the center of the ring, there is no way he can get to the ropes, but he refuses to tap! Finally after several minutes of pain, Morte’s head slumps, he is out, the ref calls for the bell. WINNER in 12:12 Semaj B.
Ross: Another stellar performance from both men, and Semaj keeps his winning streak alive. I truly hope GM the Rick noticed this performance and awards Semaj a title shot soon. Razz: And even though he lost, I think Morte could easily be in line for a title match as well. Morte and Blackdragon lit it up when they were tag wrestlers; a one on one match between the two would be off the hook! Ross: Razz, next up we have a match that features former teammates Uncle Entity and Mercury. I was stunned when Entity turned on his partner last week and callously dissolved the team. I may not have agreed with all of their methods, but it seemed to me that this team was just hitting their stride and starting to make progress. Razz what do you make of this? Razz: Well from what I can see, Uncle Entity simply believed that his talents would be better put to use as a singles wrestler, so he made sure that everyone knew he had no intention of teaming with anyone anymore. And Ross, what is the story with this Jesse Garon fella? The ghost of Elvis’ twin brother, or something? Ross: I have no idea Razz.
UNCLE ENTITY (w/Jesse Garon) vs. MERCURY
Mercury is a man possessed and lays into UE before the opening bell. Very little catch as catch can while Mercury is in control. Finally UE manages to grab the ref and keep him distracted enough to hit a mule kick. UE takes over and pounds away at Mercury before unceremoniously dumping to the outside. Some rough ring step treatment follows that opens up a small cut on Mercury. UE whips him hard into the guardrails, but gets back body dropped into the crowd when he tries to follow up. Mercury rolls in to stop the count, but once back out; he gets stun gunned across the barricade. UE back in control and punching away at the wound, spilling more of Mercury’s blood and trash talking. Mercury manages to fight back after countering a clothesline into a float over reverse DDT. Both men down until six and they slug it out on their knees until Mercury hits the jawbreaker and takes control again. Crisp arm drags followed by a run up the ropes spinning DDT gets him a 2. However, the second that elapses while he wipes away the blood obscuring his vision face, UE is able to pull him into the ref. Ref down and UE grabs a chair. Metal on skull echoes through the arena as Mercury collapses. UE wakes up the ref, but only gets a two count. Scooping Mercury up, he hits a vile fall-away slam over the top rope and onto the steel ramp. He demands the ref count Mercury out, but Mercury manages to make it to the apron. Baseball slide to the face knocks him back down however and UE runs the ropes and hits a somersault senton on the prone Mercury. Rolling back in, he demands another count, but Mercury makes it to the ring this time after avoiding a second baseball slide and dropping UE with a desperation clothesline. He rolls back into the ring for a breather, but UE is up and stomping away at his head. He then bends over and slaps him a few times until Mercury topples him with a ginormous upper cut. As the blood mars his face, Mercury becomes a beast and ravages his partner. When UE drops to the floor for safety, Mercury runs the opposite way and blind-sides him with a clothesline. Mercury dominates UE until UE bites his wound. Mercury falls to his knees and UE knees him in the face several times until the ref gets to four. Mercury, in an all or nothing bid, manages to hot shot UE into the turnbuckle and hit a diving sunset flip. Unfortunately for him, UE counters it. Even more unfortunate, the ref doesn’t notice UE holding the ropes for leverage and Mercury is counted out. WINNER in 7:22 Uncle Entity
Not content with the win, Entity and Garon put the boots to Mercury. Garon grabs his guitar from ringside and lines up the El Kabong, when suddenly Endo comes down the ramp! Endo hits the ring and levels Entity and Garon with punches. Endo backs Entity into the corner and begins biting his forehead drawing blood from UE. Garon tries to attack, but Endo just shrugs it off. Endo turns his attention to Garon who tries to turn and run, but eats a black hole slam by Mercury. Endo slaps the claw on Garon and he screams in pain. Mercury clotheslines Entity over the top rope to the floor then watches as Garon writhes in agony on the mat. Finally Mercury picks up a limp, bloody Garon and throws him over the top rope onto Entity. Endo and Mercury look at each other suspiciously, then nod and head to the back.
Ross: MAH GAWD! You know Razz, a hundred people could have come out from behind the curtain and I wouldn’t have guessed a single one of them would be Endo. What did we just see? Razz: Honestly, I am not sure what we just saw there. Endo came and helped out Mercury, but why? Endo has pretty much kept to himself lately, why would he save Mercury from Entity and Garon? This one could be interesting over the next few weeks Ross, keep your eyes on this. Ross: no doubt about that Razz. GimmickMan recently moved over to the Onslaught division, he gives the sensational rookie Capellan a match tonight. How do you see GimmickMan faring in the Onslaught division? Razz: I think Gimmick’s whole style is suited to the Onslaught division to a T. This is a guy who you rarely see brawl, he prefers to grind it out on the mat and get submission wins or a quick win with the Spartan Plunge, Ross, honestly I think GimmickMan will excel in the Onslaught division. And not taking Capellan lightly is his first step, this kid can go! Ross: No question about that Razz, I see Capellan as this year’s Chris Alt, I think he will really be a break out star by year’s end, be it in the Onslaught division, or the Intercontinental division
GIMMICKMAN vs. CAPELLAN
Gimmick enters the ring first followed by Cap. The two shake hands and its on. The smaller Capellan is quickly over powered and hit with several big suplexes by GM. Belly to belly, overhead release, northern lights, and finally a tazzplex and gimmick goes for the cover. Cap kicks out at two. Cap seems to be reenergized after the ferocious and quick beating early in the match and begins to use his speed to attack GM from all angles. Cap hits gm with several kicks to the head and neck and finally get GM to go down. Cap covers and GM kicks out at two. “TWO!!!!” shout the taxicab drivers in the crowd. After the kick out GM sits up and eats a drop kick to the chin and Cap covers and GM kicks out again at tow. We hear “TWO” echo throughout the building a second time. This time Gimmick comes out with both guns blazing and hits Cap with more vicious suplexes and hits an exclamation point cradle pile driver. Cap lucks out and gets a foot on the ropes to stop the three count. Gimmick begins to argue with the ref. Cap, now quite groggy connects huge super kick that has GM stumbling all over the ring. Cap climbs the turnbuckle and goes for his patented spinning dragon kick, but GM catches him in mid air, sets him up for and nails with a Spartan Plunge. Cap is out and Gimmick picks up the 1,2,3. The ref raises Gimmicks’ hand and Cap slowly comes to and makes to his feet. GM walks over and slaps Capellan on the back, and we can clearly read his lips “good match kid.” With that, GM leaves the ring and stand there with a bit of a grin on his face. WINNER in 14:44 GimmickMan
Ross: That kid Capellan impresses me more and more every week, there is just no quit in him! Razz: I agree, he is tough, and with a little more experience, will come a lot more wins. That was an impressive win by Gimmick, I would like to see these two go at it again in a few months when Capellan has a little more experience under his belt. We are talking main even matches then! Ross: Two guys that would certainly love to be in the main event are Thim Reynolds and Endo. Thim is nipping at the heels of Onslaught Champion Firechild, while Endo, well after what Endo did tonight, I really don’t know WHERE Endo is coming from Razz: And I think that is what will decide this match Ross, Thim is focused, he wants that Onslaught championship from Firechild and he is determined to get it. Endo seems to be lacking direction at the moment, he’s not sure if he wants to be a singles wrestler or a tag team wrestler, that. My friend will make the difference.
THIM REYNOLDS vs. ENDO
Both men enter the ring, and quickly get to business. After a quick lock-up Endo sends Thim to the mat with a hip toss. Thim to his feet and another lock up, this time Endo sends Thim to the mat with a belly to back suplex. This time Endo doesn’t let Thim get to his feet, and mounts him, raining punches down on Thim’s head. Endo tries to lock on the Claw, but Thim fights it off and eventually Escapes Endo’s ground attack. Endo rushes Thim and attempts a clothesline but Thim reverses it into Arm drag takedown, floats over and Thim immediately locks on a ½ Crab. Endo fights out of the leg lock, and again begins to throw massive punches at Thim. Thim gets to his feet, but attempts the Claw again. This time he locks it on; Both Thim and Endo are on their feet. Thim punches at Endo’s face, but he won’t release the hold. Thim finally gets Endo to break the holds when he forces Endo over the top rope and onto the floor. Thim follows and hits Endo with a chop block, and begins to kick away at Endo’s left knee and ankle. Thim continues to target the left leg of Endo until he throws him back into the ring. Endo to his feet and is limping badly on his left leg. As Thim enters the ring Endo boots him in the gut and attempts a Power bomb, but Thim escape, connect a fireman’s carry and floats over and ties Endo’s left leg up in a Reflex-o-lock. Endo claws towards the rope, Thim pulls him away and grapevines the leg and torques the hell out of Endo’s leg. After several seconds of Pain, Endo is forced to submit. WINNER in 12:55 Thim Reynolds
Ross: Thim gets the duke tonight, Razz I think I agree with you though, Endo seemed a little off, well more so than usual. Razz: He’s out of kilter right now, and until he finds his balance, he is going to have a hard time getting many wins. This is a funny business. In most businesses you can sort of wander through your job with no specific purpose or goal and get along fine. In the OOWF if you don’t have a focus, a goal, something to work toward, you will find yourself losing more than winning and struggling for opportunities. For his sake I hope Endo turns it around soon Ross: Well one guy who certainly doesn’t seem to have his head screwed on right these days is FORMER Intercontinental champion Johnny Adrenaline. I for one am certainly not sad to see Johnny in this position, maybe this will teach him some humility Razz: I doubt it, he still feels like he was cheated, then he blows his rematch, what’s next? Is he going to come out and DEMAND that Blackdragon face him in some sort of gimmick match, like say, a Hell in the Cell? Ross: Well THAT would certainly not make an ounce of sense. And beside, I don’t think Johnny has the intestinal fortitude to face ANY one in a Hell in the Cell match. He already has one loss to SoulDragon, let’s see how he fares this time.
JOHNNY ADRENALINE vs. SOULDRAGON
Johnny goes to jump Dragon at the bell, but SD sees it coming and dumps JA over the top. JA lands on his feet, though and pulls SD out to the floor. JA tries to work in some punches, but SD chops his was out of it. Dragon slams Johnny on the floor, then rolls him in. SD stomps Johnny's foot a few times and immediately looks for the ankle lock, but JA rolls thru and kicks him away. SD comes back in, but Johnny cradles him for a quick two count. JA grabs SD on the way up and gives him a German suplex, but SD answers with one of his own. Johnny pulls himself up in the corner, and SD charges. But JA kicks him in the mouth on the way in, then grabs another cradle, this one a schoolboy, for another two count. Johnny comes up looking for a vertical suplex, but SD reverses to his own, sending JA over the top to the floor. SD follows out and sends JA to the post. And again. And one more time. And a fourth time. Then one to grow on, and JA's forehead begins to swell. SD then looks for a power bomb on the floor, but JA desperately backdrops out. But before JA can get back to the ring, SD clotheslines him down from behind to maintain control. SD rolls him in and goes to the top. Dragon flies off with a head butt, but hurts himself in doing so. SD drags himself over for the cover, but Johnny's out at two. Dragon's slow to his feet, but pulls JA up. SD looks for a belly to belly, but Johnny elbows out, and hits a beautiful overhead throw of his own. He goes to follow up, but Dragon picks the ankle and applies the ankle lock. Johnny tries to twist out, but Dragon holds his leverage, leaving Johnny no choice but to try the ropes, which he does. Dragon breaks, and then goes right back for it, but Johnny hits an enziguri, and SD falls to the mat. Johnny drops two elbows, then grabs a front face lock on the mat. Johnny gets to a standing position and looks for the Adrenaline Rush, but SD shifts his weight and comes down behind Johnny. Dragon rolls him up, grabs a handful of tights and gets the pin at 8:55. WINNER in 8:55 Soul Dragon
Ross: I suppose I should feel bad about Johnny losing another match and falling even farther out of contention, but with God as my witness, I don’t. Razz: Ross you really hate this guy don’t you? Ross: He was a disgrace as a champion and is a disgrace as a human being. I see no redeeming qualities in Johnny Adrenaline whatsoever. Razz: Well what about Moosehead Jack? Ross: What? Razz: What about Moosehead Jack, after all he is teaming with Concrete TG against the Devil’s Brigade tonight trying to avenge last week’s loss to Camby and O’Neil, what about him? Ross: Moose is a conniving, scheming loathsome human being hell bent on causing destruction and mayhem. That said, I still think he has more courage than Johnny ever will. Razz: But can they beat The Devil’s Brigade this week? Ross: Well after nearly six weeks of teaming it finally seems like Moose and Concrete have come to some sort of understanding, I would still hardly call it a partnership, but an understanding is more than I ever though I would see between these two. However, I think they got on the same page a little too late to over come The Devil’s Brigade this week.
THE DEVIL’S BRIGADE vs. MOOSEHEADJACK & CONCRETE TG
MHJ and CTG storm the ring and take the brawl to DB. HC is taken over the top with a dual clothesline and TO back body dropped onto his partner. STEREO PLANCHAS~!!!! keep the Doers of Justice in command. The ref finally gains some semblance of order and MHJ and TO officially start the contest. MHJ exhausts all his heelish mannerisms much to the delight of the crowd before tagging in CTG. TO whipped into the ropes and taken down with a double shoulder tackle. MHJ and CTG criss-cross and just as CTG hits the Lion Sault, MHJ drops a knee to TO’s head. HC breaks the count up at two and MHJ slugs it out with him. Ref, as they tend to do when face with this situation, elects to restrain MHJ, leading to HC blindsiding CTG and holding him still for TO’s left hook. CTG drops like a sack of eroded cement, but MHJ is there to break it up. Again, MHJ is escorted out but doesn’t protest much, so TO decides to distract the ref with words beyond his comprehension. This allows HC to bounce CTG off the ring post with a snake eyes that bust CTG open. TO with the cover and CTG somehow gets the shoulder up. Quick tags by DB isolate CTG, and they even sneak in one of my personal favorite tag maneuvers by power bombing CTG across TO’s knee. It continues like this for a few more minutes until another tag team set up goes awry and CTG manages to plant both men with a double DDT. One slow crawl later and MHJ reintroduces himself to the Brigade in a language they surely understand. FIRE, as in fists and feet blazing with righteous indignation. DDTs for both men, but HC kicks out at 2. DB double team MHJ, but CTG is able to cut off HC with a flying shoulder tackle. Turning his attention to TO, he and MHJ momentarily take TO out with a clothesline into a German Suplex. Ref checks on CTG as blood continues to flow freely from his wound. While this is going on, HC attempts to clothesline MHJ from behind, but MHJ, ducks, kicks HC in the gut and sets up another DDT. TO crawls over and low blows MHJ. HC then runs over to the blinded CTG and murders him with a clothesline. TO loads up and unleashes the left hook for good measure on MHJ as HC dumps CTG out of the ring. Rejoining his partner, they condemn MHJ’s fate with a TRIPLE SIX ~! CTG is out on the floor as the ref counts the three. WINNERS in 16:12 The Devil’s Brigade
Ross: Well, Moose and Concrete at least looked better this week, albeit in a losing effort. Give them a little time to work out the kinks and they may finally get on the roll they both expect. Razz: That may be, but don’t forget the Devil’s Brigade beat one hell of a team, or at least two tough as hell competitors teaming up, two weeks in a row. I would say that should move them up the rankings pretty fast. Ross: Indeed it should, and I would have to think that they are the next team in line for a title shot. Speaking of the tag team titles, Razz, up next we have former champions Hellion and Corax escalating their feud into a steel cage match. After seeing the intensity of their previous matches, I cannot believe these two were ever tag team champions. Razz: It is certainly hard to picture, their matches have been brutal, and I suspect that this one will be no different. There is no forgiveness in the cage.
HELLION vs. CORAX – Steel Cage Match
Corax ambushes his former partner on the way to the ring. Corax blindsides Hellion with a chair as he makes his way down the ramp. Hellion never saw it coming. With Hellion laid out, Corax stomps away with brutal kicks to the midsection. Corax pulls Hellion to his feet and drags him down the ramp. Along the way Corax slams Hellion’s head into the guardrail and then runs him face first into the cage. Hellion falls to the floor writhing in pain, Corax picks him up again and puts Hellion’s head in the door and slams it shut. Hellion once again falls to the floor, this match hasn’t even started yet and already Hellion is in big trouble. Finally Corax rolls Hellion into the ring and the match is officially under way. Hellion crawls across the ring trying to regain his composure, Corax stalks him and lays him out with some brutal kicks to the mid section. Corax pulls Hellion into a sitting position and pounds away at Hellion’s face, then pulls him to his feet and sends him to the cage, once twice, three times. Corax grinds Hellion’s face into the cage, what brutality! Corax bounds off the opposite ropes and connects with a drop kick to the back of Hellion’s head that sends him flying face first into the cage. Hellion falls backward, his face a hideous mask of blood. Corax waits for Hellion to get to his feet, then charges at Hellion, but Hellion catches him with a back body drop and Corax hits the cage back first and falls down between the ropes. Hellion falls back to his knees trying to regain his strength; Corax rolls under the bottom rope and slowly gets to his feet. He walks toward Hellion and Hellion springs up and destroys Corax with a spin kick to the face. Now Hellion goes nuts, he grabs Corax and sends him face first to the cage, first one side, then the other, then finally the last two. Corax has had about enough of this and starts to climb the ropes to escape the cage. Corax makes it to the top of the cage and actually gets one leg over the cage, Hellion shows his speed, scales the side of the cage and grabs Corax leg, then jumps back down to the mat, crotching Corax on the top of the cage. Corax sits perched precariously on top of the cage; Hellion climbs the corner, then climbs to the corner of the cage as well. With Hellion standing on the top corner of the cage, he shows tremendous balance and walks down the cage and takes Corax off the top of the cage with a head scissors. Both men fall from the top of the cage and crash to the mat below. Neither man is moving much. Finally both men are to their feet, Corax goes for a clothesline, Hellion ducks and when Corax turns around Hellion DESTROYS Corax with a Gates of Hell. Hellion starts climbing the cage; Corax is near the door, but not moving. As Hellion gets to the top, The Devil’s Brigade makes their way to ringside. Camby walks over to the door and yells for the ref and tries to open the door, the ref moves over and tries to keep Camby from opening the door. Tommy O’Neil scales the side of the cage and gets to the top just as Hellion reaches the top; Hellion takes a swing at TO, TO ducks and returns the favor connecting with a wicked left hook. Hellion is out, TO shoves him and Hellion falls from the top of the cage. When the referee turns around to see what had happened, Camby opens the cage door and reaches in and pulls Corax out of the ring. Somehow the ref didn’t see any of the interference, but he sees Corax on the outside, so he calls for the bell. WINNER in 21:47 Corax
After the match, Camby and O’Neil storm the ring and attack again; they pummel a barely conscious Hellion by ramming him repeatedly into the cage. Then Camby hoists Hellion into a torture rack and TO climbs the ropes. Camby turns Hellion and TO comes off the ropes with a knee to Hellion’s sternum, as he hits Camby drops Hellion into a sickening inverted DVD. Hellion’s back and neck twist awkwardly. To add insult to injury, Corax locks hellion in the Haas of Pain, finally officials flood the ring, and chase Corax and TDB out of the ring, paramedics come to the ring and end up stretchering Hellion out of the ring.
Ross: I cannot believe it Razz! What would posses Corax to do such a thing to a former friend? Isn’t it enough to beat your opponent? You have to try and cripple him, and humiliate them? Razz: There is nothing more humiliating to a wrestler than to have to be stretchered out of the ring. It is the ultimate slap at your pride. Corax got the upper hand tonight, but I cannot imagine this is the end between these two. Ross: Up next we have a tag team triple threat match, two of our teams are well known, Revolution XX, who in my opinion is still one of the premier teams in the OOWF, Outback Jack and GatorBait, with their new manager Wally B. King, Razz what is the deal with THIS guy? Razz: Not sure Ross, but I hear he is a man who you certainly do not want on your bad side, if you know what I mean. Ross: All too well. The third team in this three way dance is JW Westgaard and Tommy Wilder, Razz, as far as I know this is the first time these two have teamed up, what do you expect from them, and why the sudden team? Razz: Well in this team you have the power in Westgaard, and you have the highflying ability of Wilder, so the styles should mesh very well. As far as why they area team, well Westgaard, Wilder and Capellan have been palling around a lot lately, I guess they just decided to give it a go in the tag ranks. So Ross, you think they can win tonight? Ross: Actually Razz. I do, I think they bring something different and unique to the table. They have had a chance to scout Revolution XX and Jack and Gator, so thy know what to expect from them, the others have never seen this team, so I think they can score the upset win tonight.
OUTBACK JACK & GATORBAIT (w/Wally B. King) vs. REVOLUTION XX vs. JW WESTGAARD & TOMMY WILDER
The team of Wilder and Westgaard are already in the ring when Rev. XX’s music starts. As the RevXX is making their way to the ring OBJ and GB come barreling down the ramp and lay into Coolname and O’mac. JW and Tommy kinda stand in the ring watching the action, after a second or two JW looks from the melee to Wilder and a sly grin crosses his face. With that Wilder bounds off the far ropes and back towards JW who launches wilder high into the air. Wilder, after completing a front flip, comes down on the four men on the outside sending them all sprawling. Westgaard then follows with a leg drop off the apron onto Coolname. Wilder and Westgaard are to their feet and grab O’mac and throw him into the ring. O’mac gains his bearings and nails Wilder as he’s crawling into the ring with a dropkick. Westgaard the levels Him with a big clothes line and slaps on an Arm bar. OBJ and GB crawl up to their corner and begin to look on intently. Wilder climbs up to his corner and Coolname does the same. As JW locks on the Submission hold, Coolname climbs through the ropes and boots JW in the side of the head. OBJ in and hits Coolname with a spine buster. Wilder takes out OBJ with a tope rope dropkick. And begins to wail away with kicks to Coolname’s chest. GB comes in and cleans house. Sending Wilder, JW, and Coolname to the floor. He picks up O’mac and Irish whips him into the ropes. O’mac ducks a clothesline and nails GB with a neck breaker; O’mac begins to target GB’s neck. By this time, all the competitors have gone back to their respective corners. GB regains his footing and fights off O’Mac and reverses an Irish whip into a torture rack. Coolname in try and break it up, but is cut off by an OBJ clothesline. OBJ and GB then Connect with a vicious torture rack/neck breaker combo on O’mac. GB goes for the cover, but JW breaks it up. OBJ in and attempts a clothesline, JW ducks and OBJ eats a crescent Kick from Wilder. JW throws GB out of the ring and as he pulls O’Mac to his feet he gets hit with a low blow and an evenflow DDT. Wilder dropkicks O’mac out of the ring, and Coolname’s over to check on him. As he does Wilder climbs to the tope and connect with a SHOOTING STAR PRESS TO THE FLOOR!!!! on O’mac and Coolname. All three men are down and Westgaard is down in the ring. As HE struggles to his feet OBJ and GB attempt the Call of the Wild, at the last second Westgaard moves and Jack spears Gator. Westgaard grabs Outback Jack and tosses him over the top rope to the floor, then picks up a still dazed Gator and hits the Ice Auger and gets the three count. Winners in 27:47: Tommy Wilder & JW Westgaard
Ross: Well, I called it! What a great first win for Westgaard and Wilder! Razz: They certainly impressed me a whole lot tonight. These guys can go far in the tag ranks if they decide to stick together as a team; they are the perfect blend of speed and power. They are a very exciting team to watch. Ross: WE will certainly keep an eye on them in the next few weeks. Another guy to keep our eye on is Mark Vander, he seems to be a completely refocused Mark Vander, I haven’t seen his management team in quite awhile, he seems to be really focused on winning that world title from Niles Anderson Razz: Well he gets a tough test tonight in former champion “Dangerous” Donovan Viper, and Donnie is certainly NOT happy about being the former champion Ross: That’s right he’s not. And he will be even more unhappy if he doesn’t take Vander seriously. Another loss moves him one step farther away from that title, and a win moves Vander one step closer.
DONOVAN VIPER vs. MARK VANDER
Viper tries to attack Vander when his back is turned, but Vander hears him coming and ducks. DV crashes sternum first into the corner and staggers backward, Vander grabs hold and nails Viper with three German suplexes, the fourth is a release German suplex that sends Viper across the ring. Donovan Viper slithers under the ropes to the outside, but Vander follows him out of the ring. The two brawl around ringside for a few minutes and work their way up the ramp toward the entrance. Viper is on the high side of the ramp, and charges Vander, Vander catches him with a back body drop, sending Viper crashing down on the steel hard. Vander gets to the top of the ramp and waits for Viper to get up when 3PS make yet another appearance. Tommy comes out first and nails Vander in the back of the head with a forearm, then sets him up for the left hook, but Vander ducks and kills Tommy with a spine buster on the ramp. Camby comes out next, and as Vander gets to his feet, he tries a spear, but Vander turns it into a DDT on top of the stage. With all this going on, Donovan Viper has had time to recover, and he comes up behind Vander and DESTROYS him with a sidewinder on the steel. TO and Camby are both up and it looks like they are going to decimate Vander when FFC and Stank come out (!) FFC nails Camby with a clothesline, then drops a meaty leg across his chest. Stank blindsides TO and runs him into the steel of the entrance ramp. Officials flood the entrance to separate the two teams who have to compete in a tag title match later tonight, and Donovan Viper pulls Vander down the ramp back toward the ring. Viper rolls Vander back into the ring and takes his time getting back into the ring thinking he has the match well in hand. He pulls Vander to his knees and slaps him across the face a few times. Vander jumps to his feet, grabs Viper and hits an explosive T-Bone suplex. Donovan Viper is just able to roll his shoulder before the three count. Vander gets to his feet and sends Viper to the ropes and kills him with a clothesline from hell that splits Viper’s lip and bloodies his nose. Vander keeps up the advantage, backing Viper into the corner and brutalizing him with forearms to the face. Vander sets Viper on the top rope and throws him off the top rope with a release belly-to-belly overhead suplex. Viper slams to the mat and grabs his back and screams in pain. Vander gets to his feet with a crazed look in his eyes, folks it appears this man has snapped. DV wants no part of this and slides out of the ring and pulls a chain from his boots, DV wraps it around his elbow and waits for Vander to come out after him. When he does, Viper explodes off the floor with a chain wrapped Death Elbow. The ref sees the whole thing and calls for the bell. WINNER in 15:15 by Disqualification – Mark Vander
Donovan Viper stands over the fallen Mark Vander, who has been split open from the chain. As he taunts the crowd, Vander turns and kicks Viper between the legs. Vander gets to his feet and pulls a table from under the ring and sets it up. Vander lays a couple of shots to the back of Viper’s head. The grabs him and hits a DRAGON SUPLEX through the table! MY GOD! DONOVAN VIPER IS DEAD!
Ross: VIPER IS DEAD! VIPER IS DEAD! There is no way he could have survived that one. Razz: I would say he was lucky to have survived that far into the match, it just seemed like there was nothing he could do to slow down Mark Vander, the man was just not going to be stopped tonight, what a performance. Ross: One that Niles Anderson was sure to take not of somewhere in the back. I have a sneaking suspicion that Niles wants NOTHING to do with Mark Vander right about now, I have a feeling there aren’t too many people that want anything to do with facing Vander right about now. Razz: I would normally say the same thing about UnderDawg, but surprisingly Microplay wanted this match. He says he has no fear of Dawg. Ross: Well I am not sure there is anyone who doesn’t have a little bit of healthy fear for the UnderDawg, you would not be wise to go into a match fearing his abilities just a little. Let’s see how Microplay fares
MICROPLAY vs. UNDERDAWG
MP attacks UnderDawg before the two men have entered the ring, but UD shrugs him off sending Microplay into the timekeeper. MP grabs the ring bell and hits Dawg with a stiff shot, busting UD up pretty bad. Microplay starts to gloat to the fans at ringside, but UD takes his head off with a clothesline. UD presses MP and tosses him over the top rope and into the ring, and it's clear that UnderDawg is pissed over being busted open. UD shoves Micro into the corner and a series of high knees is followed by a framed elbow. Microplay ducks a right, but UD hits a big boot, dumping Microplay over the top rope. UD follows him to the outside, and sends Micro face first into the turnbuckle. UD grabs a chair and smashes it into MP's face. UD goes for another chair shot, but MP drops to a knee and hits a low blow. MP back in the ring using the ropes to keep himself upright. UnderDawg comes back in but Microplay gives him a stinger splash in the corner. MP goes up top and hits an elbow drop but UD kicks out at 2! MP looks pissed, and goes for a small package but UD hits a desperation choke slam! MP up first and he again climbs to the top. He tries a bulldog off the top, but gets caught with a side slam. UD hulks up and hits the big boot and Fire Hydrant but the ref is still out. He goes to check on the ref but Viper is up and in the ring, still a little woozy and unsteady following the Dragon suplex through the table. UD turns around and is greeted by a chain assisted Death Elbow!!! UD stumbles to a knee before standing back up and Viper gives him another chain assisted Death Elbow. Viper grabs Microplay, and drags him on top of UD. The ref slowly starts to stir...one, two, three!!! Microplay has upset UnderDawg! WINNER in 9:59 Microplay
Ross: Well, I can see now why Microplay had no fear of UnderDawg, when you have Donovan Viper running interference for you. Razz: Well that DOES make it a little easier to deal with Dawg, but Ross, you have no proof that it was all premeditated, Viper and Dawg have issues between themselves you know. Ross: Oh come on Razz, Microplay was just a little too confident about his chances from the start. This thing was planned all along. Although I am amazed that Donovan Viper was able to walk after that insane dragon suplex through a table from Vander Razz: Well you may not like him, but you could never question Viper’s toughness. His methods, yes, his toughness, never. Ross: I also would never question the toughness of either of our next competitors. Alt and Beast are both as tough as they come, that’s why I was so shocked when Beast used such a nefarious short cut to win their match last week. Razz: Well sometimes the element of surprise is the best way to win a match. There is no way Alt could have expected that from Beast, so it worked beautifully to Beast’s advantage, it was a smart move, if not the cleanest move ever. Ross: Well I suspect that Chris Alt will be on the lookout for that kind of chicanery this week, fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you.
BEAST vs. CHRIS ALT
Alt attacks to start this time, still not happy about Beast’s little ruse last time. Alt and Beast tumble over the top rope and the two trade punches on the outside. Beast gets the better of Alt, staggering him with a series of shots to the face. Beast takes a step back and unloads a boot to the face. Alt goes down hard; Beast wraps a microphone cord around his neck and nearly chokes him out. The ref threatens a disqualification so Beast breaks the hold. The referee restarts the ten count, Beast pulls Alt to his feet and charges for a thunderous clothesline. Alt ducks and Beast crashes into the ring post. Beast falls to one knee, dazed; Alt rolls into the ring to break the count, then hits a plancha over the top rope landing on top of Beast. Beast slams into the concrete floor, Alt pulls Beast up and whips him into the guardrail. Beast winces in pain as back meets steel. Alt climbs to the apron and waits for Beast to get to his feet, when he does; Alt leaps off the apron landing a beautiful flying clothesline. Alt grabs a handful of Beast hair and shoots him back into the ring. Once inside, Alt drops Beast again with a side Russian leg sweep, then climbs to the middle rope where he explodes off and drops an elbow right across Beast’s throat. Cover only gets one, as Beast powers out. Beast is on one knee now; Alt grabs Beast’s head and pounds away at his face, opening a cut above Beast’s eye. As the blood begins to trickle down Beast’s face, the big man snaps. He pulls Alt off of him by flipping him over his shoulder. Beast starts to choke Alt, and only stops momentarily at the four count, then reapplies the hold. Finally Beast yanks Alt to his feet and throws him over the top rope. Beast follows Alt out of the ring and scoops him up slamming him back first into the ring post, and then slamming him on the concrete floor. Beast rolls back into the ring, confident of a count out win. Alt will not stay down though and he rolls back into the ring. Beast whips Alt into the corner, then charges in, but Alt moves and Beast crashes sternum first into the corner. Beast falls backward like a mighty oak falling in the woods. Alt quickly climbs the ropes and drops a HBK elbow on the fallen big man, cover gets two, but Beast is able to get his foot on the ropes. Alt goes on the offensive, hitting Beast with everything he can. Beast rakes the eyes and scoops Alt up on his shoulder, but Alt frees himself and lands behind Beast. When Beast turns around, he eats a super kick. Alt climbs to the top rope, it looks like he is going for a moon sault. As Beast gets to his feet Alt leaps, Beast steps forward, Alt lands on his feet, and before Beast can even turn around, Alt grabs him in a dragon sleeper. Beast fights it, but cannot break Alt’s grip. Beast falls to one knee, he is starting to fade. Just when it looks like Alt is going to win by submission, Beast gets his second wind and stands up with Alt on his shoulder. Beast runs toward the corner and slams Alt upside down in the corner, hooking his leg so his is not trapped in the tree of woe. Beast lays a couple of stiff kicks to Alt’s head, then retreats to the opposite corner. With Alt trapped in the corner, Beast charges and hits a corner spear on Alt, nearly breaking him in half. You can hear all the wind scream out of Alt’s lungs. With his prey injured, Beast goes for the kill; he lifts Alt for a mighty power bomb and slams Alt to the mat in the middle of the ring. Still not satisfied, Beast picks Alt up and hits the MONSTER CLUB O’ DEATH! Alt falls to the mat, Beast covers, it is over folks. WINNER in 19:14 Beast
After the match, Beast wants more; he mounts Alt and pounds him until he is bloody. Beast then leaves the ring and sets up a table. He comes back inside, lifts Alt for a power bomb, then runs toward the ropes and THROWS Alt through a table! Satisfied with the carnage, Beast smirks at the booing fans and heads to the back. EMT’s rush to ringside to check on Alt.
Ross: MAH GAWD WHAT THE HELL? What had gotten into Beast? I have NEVER seen him that aggressive! What is going on in his mind that would possess him to do such a thing to Alt, a man I assumed he considered a friend? Razz: Well first of all Ross, we see what can happen between friends in this business, remember Hellion and Corax? I am not sure what is going on with Beast, but I gotta tell you, I like it! I like the new more aggressive Beast. Ross: You would. Personally I see no reason for the ultraviolence he seems to want to bring to the ring these days. Razz: Speaking of violence, up next we have an Onslaught title match, The Silent Assassin Seraph versus Firechild, this should be a great match Ross. Ross: Indeed it should be Ross, Seraph interjected himself in the Thim Reynolds Firechild match last week, and some would say he cost Thim the title. I can’t saw for certain, and for that matter I can’t even say who’s side Seraph is on. Can you? Razz: Seraph is on his own side, plain and simple. He has an agenda that apparently only he knows, and I, for one, would like to keep it that way.
SERAPH vs. FIRECHILD – Onslaught Championship Title Match
Fairchild with a deep arm drag takedown and the floats over into a headlock. Seraph gets back to his feet and turn the headlock into a nice back body drop. Seraph goes to work on FC's knee and lock in a modified Indian deathlock. FC fights for the ropes and gets caught with his shoulders down for a two count. Firechild grabs the ropes and Seraph breaks the hold clean in a sign of respect. FC back up and Seraph goes for a dragon whip take down, but FC counters with a kick and lock on a reverse hammerlock. He sends Seraph into the topes and ends up hitting a swinging uranage for two. Seraph recovers with a power slam for two. Leg lariat gets two, followed by a cradle for two, but FC comes back with the double power bomb and a snap suplex. Saraph shifts his weight during the suplex, and lands on top to stun FC. Seraph goes for a super kick, but Firechild blocks it and reverses to a Liontamer! Seraph fights for the ropes, as he does Thim Reynolds makes his way to ringside. The referee immediately warns him about getting involved, Thim begs off and just stands there and stares into Seraph’s eyes as Firechild drags him back to the middle of the ring! Seraph has no choice but to tap out! Winner and still champion, Firechild! WINNER in 12:11 and still Onslaught Champion, Firechild
After the match, Thim just stares at Seraph and Firechild and then leaves and walks to the back.
Ross: There are some serious mind games going on between the three of these men. It is getting almost to spooky levels between them. Thim and Firechild tried to kill each other in an unauthorized street fight earlier this week, and now the mind games have begun. Razz: This is not going to end well for someone, but at this point I have no idea who it will be, Firechild has the most to lose, but he also has the support of 3Piece Set, so you never know how that may go. Ross: Speaking of 3Piece Set, I do have to take my hat off to them, they are the longest reigning tag team champions of all time, and even though I don’t agree with their methods, there is no denying their success. Razz: well said Ross, and 3Piece Set faces a big challenge tonight; FF Capslock and Stank finally get their shot one-on-one. They beat a determined Outback Jack and GatorBait last week to earn the shot, and seem to have covered their bases with a sort of truce with a few of the teams to prevent interference, smart move in my book Ross. Ross: Indeed it was, let’s see if it pays off for the challengers tonight.
FF CAPSLOCK & STANK vs. 3PIECE SET – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
3PS stalls to begin things, not wanting to mix it up with the hosses. Cole reluctantly locks up with Stank and gets shoved back to the corner with authority, and Cole tags Ax in. Ax locks up with Stank, and he too, gets sent back to the corner. Ax charges back, and Stank drops him with a right hand, and Ax rolls out to the floor and starts to walk to the back. Cole runs him down and talks him into going back to the ring. Ax gets back in and walks right up to Stank and talks some smack, and he orders Stank to tag in Capslock. Stank tags out and Ax tries his luck with FF, but no different. FF sends Ax back into the corner, and this time Ax tags Cole back in. Cole locks up with FF, and works a headlock. Capslock simply backdrop suplexes Cole to break. Cole gets up and charges, ducks a clothesline, but FF catches him on the way back and presses him over his head and tosses him to the floor. Ax goes around to check on his partner, and the champs are definitely disoriented, not knowing quite how to deal with the larger challengers. As 3PS regroups, Firechild makes his way to the ring to settle the champs down. And we go to an ad break. Back from the break, and Cole has FF backed into a neutral corner. FF grabs Cole and switches him up. FF charges for an avalanche, but Cole moves then clips his knee. Like a pack of dogs, Ax hops in illegally and the champs stomp away at FF's left knee. Stank comes in to even things up, but the ref goes to keep him out. Ax drags FF halfway out of the ring, and Firechild gets a cheap shot in, hitting Capslock's knee with the Onslaught Title belt. 3PS does the classic "slap hands even though it would be just as easy to actually tag in" heel tactic, and Ax comes in and works on the knee some more. Ax ties FF's leg up in the ropes and stomps away, forcing the ref to break. Tag to Cole, who looks for the Texas Cloverleaf, but FF kicks him away and gets to his feet. But Cole clips the knee again. Cole goes for the Cloverleaf again, but this time Stank is in to break it up. The ref goes to reprimand him, and again, the champs get a double team. This time, however, Stank fights thru the ref and levels Ax then takes Cole's head off with a lariat. Stank gets back to the corner and we've got a race. FF, bad wheel and all, drags himself toward the corner. But right as he goes to make the tag, Firechild comes from behind and pulls Stank off the apron. FC begs off, and Stank gives him a big boot. But before Stank can get back on the apron, Ax gets a tag and drags Capslock back to the middle. Ax looks for the figure four, but FF kicks him away, right into a forearm shiver from Stank. Capslock gets to the corner and finally tags Stank. Stank clotheslines Ax, then again. Cole is in, and gets scoop slammed. Stank backdrops Ax, then knocks Cole to the floor with a back elbow. Stank hits a HUGE belly to belly on Ax, then drops a massive leg drop. one, two, but Cole saves. Capslock is back in and punches Cole down. Firechild hops up on the apron, and Stank disposes of him again. Ax recovers though, and hits a high knee to Stank's head, sending the big man to the floor. This leaves Capslock alone with 3PS, and Ax attacks from behind. Somehow, the champs hit a spike pile driver on FF, and things don't look good for the challengers. Ax makes the cover, but Stank is back in to save. Firechild is on the apron AGAIN, and Stank grabs him. Cole charges, but Stank sees it coming and sidesteps him, and Cole and Firechild knock heads. FC falls to the floor, and Stank takes Cole, presses him and tosses him onto Firechild. Meanwhile, Ax has the figure four on Capslock, looking to finish the job on FF's leg. But Ax is so focused on breaking Capslock's leg that he doesn't see Stank go to the top. Stank comes down with a HUGE splash on the exposed Ax. And wouldn't you know, Stank's the legal man! One...two...three. Winners in 17:30 and the NEW OOWF Tag Team Champions: F.F. Capslock and Stank.
Ross: I’LL BE DAMNED! We have new tag team champions! Capslock and Stank did it! And What a match, that one will certainly go down as a classic in tag team wrestling Razz: I gotta agree there Ross, and props to Capslock and Stank, that was a great win for the big men of the OOWF. But one question, how will they wear the titles? Ross: A this point I don’ think that really matters. They are the champions, if they want to bring the titles to the ring in little red wagons; I think that is their prerogative. Razz: Now THAT would be a helluva sight. Ross: One man who wears his title to the ring, and wears it with pride, is Blackdragon. Tonight LD Williams gets his first shot at the Intercontinental title since Concrete TG held the belt back before Christmas. Razz: Since Williams was always hanging with Adrenaline it seems like he sort of got lost in the shuffle, I tell ya Ross, you may not like him, but Williams is one of the toughest guys in the OOWF, this should be a classic match.
BLACKDRAGON vs. LD WILLIAMS – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match
BD offers his hand to LD, who slaps it away. BD smiles and shrugs it off before they circle one another. Collar and elbow tie up leads to an LD headlock. BD tries to shoot him off, but LD drops to one knee and takes him over a headlock take down. BD counters out of it and they go back and forth a couple of times until BD is caught in a leg scissors. BD counters out it by turning LD onto his stomach, pulling his head free and snatching an ankle lock. LD quickly rolls through with it and they stare each other down. LD teases a second lock up but boots BD in the gut and unloads several right hands. Sending him into the opposite ropes, LD takes BD down with a huge clothesline. A couple of knee drops to the head garners a 2 count and LD pulls BD up. BD fights back with chops and forearms, and then catches LD’s foot as he tries to sneak in a kick. Dragon Screw Leg Whip is immediately followed by an elbow drop to the knee and a modified Brock Lock. LD steadies himself with his hands and kicks free with his other leg. Running knee to the side of BD’s head knocks him out of the ring and LD hits a rare sling shot cross body to the outside. LD up first, but BD manages to send him back first into the apron. They both maneuver onto the apron and stop the other from getting into the ring with chops and punches. LD head butts BD, who reciprocates with three of his own that stagger LD. A hard knife-edge sends LD teetering on the edge, but in desperation, he reaches out and pulls BD down with him in, spiking BD’s head with modified DDT. It ain’t the CHOMP~!!! But it wouldn’t surprise me if BD were dead. LD barely breaks the count at nine and BD finally begins stirring as well. Back in the ring, LD takes advantage briefly until BD lands on his feet after a back suplex attempt and drops LD with an STO. Cover only gets two so BD yanks LD up and drops him back down with a belly-to-belly suplex. He ascends the ropes and gets Kurt Angle – like elevation on the moonsault. But much like Angle, his elevation gives LD time to recover and BD bounces off LD’s knees. LD takes over and stomps, knees, plain tortures BD’s midsection before locking in a body scissors. BD fires up and chops away, but LD lands a solid knee to the gut when BD comes off the ropes. LD then hits a back breaker, but holds on, and muscles BD into a gut buster for another 2 count. LD with the Irish whip, but BD counters with a drop kick to the knee and follows up with a knee breaker. LD manages to fight off the DRAGON LOCK~!!! attempt and rolls BD up for a long 2. LD takes BD back down with a short arm lariat. Some more back and forth with LD in command but a super kick puts a stop to that. LD wiggles his way out of a reverse Fireman’s Carry and hits a smooth as butter DDT. Unfortunately, the ring position is off and BD is able to grab the bottom rope. LD brutalizes BD for a minute or so, but somehow BD fights back and attempts a hurricarrana, but LD turns it into an alley oop. BD catches himself on the middle rope, but LD pounds away at his back and loads him up for a Razor’s Edge. BD wiggles free and takes LD down with a spinning Ghetto Blaster. BD shakes off the effects of the grueling contest then proceeds to muscle the dazed LD onto his shoulders in a reverse fireman’s carry. His knees nearly buckle, but in a roar of defiance followed by a burst of energy, he drops LD with the reverse FU version of his DKO DROP~!!!! Draping an arm over his opponent, BD gets the well-deserved three count. WINNER in 29:44 Blackdragon
After the match, both men are slowly to their feet and meet in the center of the ring for a stare down. Despite the brutal match, Blackdragon offers his hand out of respect. Just as LD Williams is about to accept the handshake of respect, Johnny Adrenaline hits the ring and slams a 9 –iron across the back of BD’s head. Johnny stands over the fallen Blackdragon and stares at LWD with a maniacal look in his eyes. LDW looks pissed and starts to argue with Johnny. Finally Williams leaves the ring and never looks back at Johnny
Ross: That scoundrel Johnny Adrenaline just cannot keep his nose out of everyone’s business can he? He is always getting involved in something that is none of his concern. Someone should put Johnny in his place once and for all Razz: Well Ross, I have a feeling if Johnny keeps pushing LD Williams, that will be the man that finally sets him straight. I know if I were LD Williams I would not be very happy about Johnny’s actions, he completely took the spotlight from Williams and Blackdragon and put it on himself. Ross: Our next match, the main event, could be in the spotlight of any card, anywhere in the world, to my knowledge Ross, this is the first time either of these teams have been together in the ring, I am certain Dragon and Harris on one side and Niles and AA on the other have never teamed together. Razz: This should be explosive, it amazes me that just two weeks after Dragon and Harris went over fifty minutes in an incredible match, they are now teaming! Whodathunkit? Ross: Not me certainly, and Niles and AA have certainly seemed to form an unholy alliance as of late. Let’s head to the ring.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:22:35 GMT -5
HARDBODY HARRIS & CANADIAN DRAGON vs. NILES ANDERSON & ATTITUDE ADJUSTERNiles and AA come to the ring first, and are booed heartily by the Canadian crowd. Niles looks like he could care less about the boos, Attitude, however is getting rather perturbed. He begins screaming at the crowd and flipping them the bird, which naturally gets the “ass-hole, ass-hole” chants started. Just when it appears that AA’s head is going to explode, Hardbody Harris’ music hits and he makes his way to the ring. The fans are eating it up! Then Blue Monday fires up and the place explodes! The ovation for Canadian hero Canadian Dragon is deafening! Dragon comes out and basks in the fans adulation and slowly makes his way to the ring. Finally all four men are in the ring, Harris and Dragon look warily at each other for a moment, then touch fists, Harris stays in the ring, Dragon heads to the outside. So Harris heads to the center of the ring, waiting for Niles, Niles stomps to the center of the ring, and instead of locking up, he slaps Harris across the face! Harris drops to one knee and Niles begins screaming at Harris “I’M THE CHAMP! I’M THE MAIN EVENT! I’M THE NUMBER ONE….” Harris shuts him up with a driving uppercut that rocks Niles back on his heels. Harris is up, throwing rights and lefts; he backs Niles all the way to the ropes, then whips him to the opposite side and hits a spot on drop kick. Niles crawls across the ring and makes the tag to AA. AA comes in and charges Harris, Harris ducks the clothesline, AA hits the ropes and Harris takes him over with a big hip toss. AA gets back to his feet, Harris grabs him and hits an inverted atomic drop, then bounds off the ropes and hits a clothesline that nearly takes AA’s head off. Harris covers, but Niles breaks it up at two. Both men are up, Harris grabs AA and whips him to the ropes, but AA reverses it, and as HH is bounding off the ropes, Niles kicks him in the back of the head. Harris turns to attack Niles and AA attacks him from behind with a double axe handle. The heels move Harris over to their corner, and work him over. AA pulls the referee away; distracting him by saying Harris poked him in the eye. While the ref’s back is turned, Niles slips the tag rope around Harris’ neck and chokes him. The double teaming goes on for several minutes, until Harris finally has had enough, he punches his way out of the corner, knocking AA off the apron and turning to Niles, who is now the legal man, and punching his way free. Harris tries to get across the ring to make the tag to Dragon who is chomping at the bit to get the tag. Harris is cut off by Niles just before he makes it; Niles grabs Harris leg and holds on. Harris struggles, inching his way across the ring, stretching toward Dragon’s outstretched hand, Harris turns and kicks Niles in the face several times, but Niles won’t let go. Finally AA comes into the ring and drops an elbow across the small of Harris’ back ending THAT little drama. Niles pulls Harris back to their corner, lifts him to his feet, low kick followed by a DDT. Tag to AA, Attitude comes in and pounds away on Harris. The fans are screaming in unison “Hard-Bod-EE, Hard-Bod-EE” AA gets a crazed look on his face and calls for the claw. Harris blocks it just before AA can apply it though, the two struggle, with Harris winning. Harris fights to his feet, AA is still trying for the claw. We are just past the ten-minute mark and Harris has been in the ring the whole time. Both men are on their feet, Harris is still fighting the claw, AA is coming closer to getting the hold on, finally Harris kicks AA in the gut and hits the TO BE EDITED IN LATER! But Harris is too weak to make a cover! Harris crawls toward the corner, AA is stirring on his side, Harris is inching closer and closer. AA makes the tag to Niles, Niles charges into the ring, using his last bit of strength; Harris lunges forward and MAKES THE TAG! The crowd ERUPTS as Canadian Dragon leaps over the ropes and attacks Niles, dropping him with lefts and rights, AA comes in and he eats a spinning heel kick. Niles is back on his feet and charges at Dragon, Dragon side steps and sends Niles to the ropes, he comes off and Dragon catches him with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker. AA tries a sneak attack from behind, but Dragon ducks and clotheslines him over the top rope. Niles staggers to his feet and eats a Dragon Kick for his troubles. Harris is back on the apron now, cheering on Dragon. Dragon hits a trio of Dragon Suplexes on Niles, then makes the tag to a recovered Harris. Harris comes in the ring and hits a fameasser on Niles; Dragon scales the ropes and dives onto AA on the outside. Inside the ring, Harris is stalking Niles waiting for him to get to his feet. Outside the ring, Dragon is just getting to his feet, AA is laid out, when Microplay flies down the ramp with a chair and lays Canadian Dragon OUT! Dragon never saw it coming! Inside the ring, Harris sees what just happened to Dragon, Niles is using the referee to get to his feet, so the ref didn’t see a thing. Through the crowd comes Beast! Beast hits the ring, spins Harris around and DESTROYS him with a club O’ Doom! Harris collapses to the mat, out cold. Beast slides under the ring and helps AA to his feet. Inside the ring, Niles crawls over to Harris and makes the cover. Harris cannot kick out. WINNERS in 16:48 Niles Anderson & Attitude Adjuster After the match, Niles and Attitude come to the center of the ring; Beast makes his way to the ring as well. Beast storms up to AA and it looks like they are about to come to blows, when Beast gets a strange look on his face and reaches out and shakes Attitude’s hand! Then he shakes Niles hand as well. What the ? The three of them celebrate in the ring with a few more kicks to the fallen Harris before leaving the ring together to the incredible boos of the crowd. Ross: WHAT THE HELL? Beast, that lousy no good…he sold his sold to the devil! And Microplay? What was he doing attacking Canadian Dragon? What the hell is going on here in the OOWF? Razz: I don’t know but this is certainly going to be an interesting summer for the OOWF, and an interesting summer for all our Canadian fans! Ross: Folks that’s all the time we have this week, for Razz, I’m Ross, goodnight!
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out OOWF MidWeek Mayhem! Live, June 15th, Live! From Londonderry, Nova Scotia, Canada! And be sure to check out the OOWF PPV, Live June 26th from Woody Point, Newfoundland, Canada!
For more details, check out our website! oowf.pantslessfury.com/oowf !
And for all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:23:09 GMT -5
<Jack is in the back seething about he and Concrete’s loss to the Devil’s Brigade when Endo walks in, the two stare at each other for a minute>
Endo: Well, I guess you saw what I did. MHJ: Yeah, but why? Endo: well, Mercury has a ton of potential, he can be a pretty sick bastard, and this Onslaught thing isn’t working out so well, so me and him decided to give it a go as a team. MHJ<quiet for a moment> What does Morte think about this? You and him were a team for a long time Endo: He is cool with it, he thinks he can beat Blackdragon for the Intercontinental title, and so do I MHJ: Yeah, no doubt he can beat him. So you and Mercury a team huh? Endo: Look Jack, I know you and Mercury have issues, I wanted to run this by you, and just make sure we are cool. I’m still Establishment MHJ <getting to his feet> Look Endo, I told you guys this weeks ago, we watch each other’s backs, but that is all, Niles may think he is the leader or the Establishment, but there is no leader. You want to team with Mercury, that’s cool, he’s a sick son of a bitch….hell I might actually like the guy. He jumped me and Concrete, we jumped them, its all part of the game. Just so you know, when we cross paths, I won’t hold anything back. Endo: I wouldn’t expect it. MHJ <getting a devilish grin on his face> you know there COULD be advantages to both of us being in the tag ranks. Endo: how so? MHJ: <glancing at the camera man> let’s go, I know a dump where even those idiot cameramen won’t dare follow, I’ll buy.
<Endo and Jack leave, camera fades to black>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:23:35 GMT -5
*Chris Alt is LIMPING backstage when he passes Niles Anderson and Attitude Adjuster. They stop, expecting him to talk to them, but the glaring Alt passes right by*
NA: HEY! You too good to talk to us or something?
CA *turns around*: Sorry, champ. I've got a bit of business to take care of.
AA: Oh, you lookin for Beast or somethin? I'd stay away from him, if I were you. He kicked the SHIT out of you earlier.
CA: How kind of you to notice. Thanks for the backup, by the way, "bros".
NA: Hey, we were... busy.
CA: Too busy to stop that maniac from trying to cripple me? I took the time out of my busy schedule last week to get Camby and O'Neil taken to jail so you could defend your title against Viper. I didn't expect a lot of gratitude from you, Niles, but a save from a beatdown like that would have been pretty sufficient. I've done a lot to help you two out lately.
NA: Yeah, and you're only doing it so you can get a title shot, so drop the holier-than-thou attitude there, hotshot.
CA: Yeah? Well, I thought I could trust you to have my back, but we obviously aren't on the same page yet, so I'm going to find somebody I can trust.
AA: C'mon, dude... you're being a little oversensitive.
CA: I just spent the last half hour coughing up blood, Capps. Call me oversensitive if you want to, but I wouldn't have let that happen to y'all, and I happen to think y'all are assholes.
NA: Come on, Alt. I'm sorry we weren't there, but you know we got your back.
CA: You sure about that, Niles? I guess we'll see, then.
*CA starts to walk off*
NA: Where you going?
CA: To find someone I CAN trust.
*The camera follows Alt as he marches through the arena. Finally, he stops outside a locker room and goes inside, where Hardbody Harris is sitting on a bench, holding an icepack over the back of his neck*
HH: Chris. You OK, man?
CA: I'll be alright. We need to talk...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:24:04 GMT -5
<Moosehead Jack arrives back at the building after an hour or so and heads right to the locker room of Outback Jack and GatorBait, Jack walks right into the room without knocking>
<Jack and Gator jump to their feet> Gator: What the hell do you want? You ever hear of knocking? MHJ: Yeah, whatever, look, I'm not here for a fight I'm here for....Wally? You crazy old bastard, how the hell you doin? WBK: Jack! You miserable sonofa bitch! It's been awhile! OBJ: You two know each other? WBK: Long story, I'll tell you boys about it sometime. MHJ: Anyway, look, I am here to offer you guys a challenge. You two against Me and Concrete, best of three falls over the next three weeks, if there is a third match, we do it at the PPV. So how bout it? GB: What are you trying to pull Jack? MHJ: Nothing. Look, you two pushed me and Concrete as hard as any team has, we need that edge, we have been in a slump, and so have you guys. It seems like we bring out the best in each other. And besides, you can't tell me that you didn't have fun in those matches, just like Japan. <Jack and Gator both go glassy eyed with nostalgia for a moment> MHJ: Look, you two think about it and let us know, the first match will be at next week's MidWeek Mayhem. It'll be worth your while. Trust me.
<Jack nods to Wally and leaves the room>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:24:27 GMT -5
Donovan Viper just finishes watching the main event on the monitor in the back.
DV: No. No. No! No! NOOOO!! NOOOOOO!!!
HC: What?
DV: Look! That damned Beast just joined forces with Niles Anderson!
HC: So?
DV: So? What do you mean, so? It's the fucking Beast!
HC: What's wrong with you man? Ever since you've lost the title, you've lost your confidence. We need to bring that back around.
DV: Listen. What you told me earlier today, about running from Niles when we could have kicked his ass. You're 100% right about that. I don't know what was going through my head at the time. But THIS. THIS is different.
HC: How so?
DV: Because it's Beast. This asshole chased me around half the eastern United States for a good 3 weeks. It took Hellion and Corax running him over with a HOT ROD to get him to stop. He runs through freaking WALLS, man!
Cor: That's true. He's a tough bastard.
HC: So? I can kick his ass any day.
TO: Me left 'ook 'll keep 'em down.
DV: I'm glad you have the confidence, guys. I really do. And yeah, I've beaten the guy in the ring before. But the thing is, he's relentless. You think I'm relentless? You think I won't quit? Beast doesn't know the meaning of the word "quit". He also doesn't know the meaning of the word "quilt" either, but that's beside the point. Beast is a fucking Sasquatch.
HC: So? You formed us to take on Underdawg for heaven's sake. We can take Beast.
DV: Underdawg is no problem, because he has no allies. No one likes that smelly bitch. Beast is now looking after Niles Fucking Anderson. The man who stole my championship title. I always figured I'd get that title back sooner or later, but with Beast by his side, it's going to be a lot tougher.
TO: 'S all raight. No 'fens Cor, but while et mey taik an automobil fer yew and 'ellion to take Beastie. 'arper an' I, we kin take them with ur fists.
HC: Not to mention, that with Corax here, we still outnumber Niles' crew.
Cor: Yeah, Donnie. We can take them.
DV: Right. Right, guys. Right. We can take them. And we will. You're damn right we will. Tommy, Harper, you guys are the best tag team in the company now. Beating that freak Concrete TG (Totally Gay) and Moosehead twice in a row. That's impressive. You guys are just a match away from having the gold.. You, Corax, I know you have the skills to get the IC title, and keep it that asshat, Andy Crapps from it. And me. I will get my way back to fighting Niles, crush him like the little gnat he is, and become the World Fucking Champion once again.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:24:59 GMT -5
*Niles and Attitude Adjuster are celebrating their win backstage.*
Niles - Hiring Beast, that was a great idea Attitude, I must admit.
AA - I told you it would work out.
Niles - Where is he anyways?
AA - He said he'd be here. Oh well, let's have a couple drinks while we're waiting.
*AA grabs a bottle of champagne, pops the cork and THE BEAST POPS OUT!!!*
Beast - You weren't gonna start without me, were you?
Niles - I figured you would've popped out sooner or later.
AA - Man, I don't think I can drink this if you were in there.
*AA grabs anoth champagne bottle and pops that and then THE BEAST...*
Beast - I'm already here bitches, how can I pop out twice?
Niles - That's the narrative Beast, you're not supposed to hear that because it describes what we're doing while we talk. You see, the OOWF is a roleplaying federation on the website...
Beast - Blah blah blah, I get it. Let's just drink.
Niles - I propose a toast. To us, The New Establishment!
*The 3 of them all cheers their glasses, when a sharp cough is heard. All of them turn to see Moosehead Jack standing in the doorway.*
Niles - Moose, haven't seen you in a while.
MHJ - That's because we haven't really been a team for a while, and I'm starting to see why.
Niles - Come on man, lighten up, these are my new running buddies. And you have to admit, after running around with Endo and Morte for a while, this is a serious improvement.
MHJ - I'll make sure to let them know what you think. The New Establishment, eh? So does that mean you've jumped ship?
Niles - Not at all. You and me are still buds. Sure we don't really see eye to eye anymore. Let's just look at it as me recruiting new members and keeping relations good with AYUFF while we're at it. I mean, that's what you wanted, isn't it? Here, have a glass with us.
*Niles motions to AA. AA pours a glass of champagne and hands it to Niles, who in turns hands it to MHJ.*
Niles - Lighten up man, life is good. We finally have gold in The Establishment. I've beaten Donnie Viper and Underdawg to ensure that. I just pinned Hardbody Harris. I mean, if it weren't for me, the Establishment would be considered to be on a losing streak, what with you getting your ass handed to you by The Devil's Brigade...
MHJ - Niles...
Niles - Twice.
*Moose takes his glass, smashes it on the ground and gets right in Niles face.*
MHJ - I've had about enough of this horseshit from you, Niles. Why don't you just come right out and say what you wanna say and we'll work this out whether it be sensibly or in a fucking brawl.
Niles - I ain't saying nothing I haven't already said Moose. You have shown me time and time again that you don't have the balls to lead the Establishment.
MHJ - I've told you before, no one leads the Establishment. You keep going down that road, and you'll find out how ballsy I am you arrogant pri...
*MHJ stops when Beast steps in between the 2 of them and locks eyes with MHJ. Niles starts to smile.*
Niles - Hey man. It's all good. I mean, if it weren't for you having my back, I would never have won this, would I? (points to belt) I was just playing man. Concrete's right man, you gotta lighten up.
*MHJ just glares. It's obvious he's thinking of attacking, but one look at Beast is enough to convince him now isn't the time.*
MHJ - You're right Niles. I have to lighten up a bit. But you keep running your mouth. And then you'll find out what I'm really about. Trust me.
*MHJ walks out of the locker room. Beast eases up a bit and takes a step back.*
Niles - Man, what got in his cornflakes?
AA - I knew we were missing something! Where are the cornflakes anyway?
*AA starts shuffling through the locker room for Corn Flakes. Niles and Beast resume their champagne drinking as the camera starts to focus on Niles. Very subtley, he grasps his title a bit tighter while drinking. As the glass touches his lips, his eyes glance over to where MHJ just left. In that brief moment, it is unmistakeable, fear is in his eyes. Fade to Black.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:25:25 GMT -5
Capellan gives Wilder and Westgaard a nod as the two enter the locker room, excitedly celebrating their win.
"Good match, guys."
Westgaard catches the subdued tone of the compliment.
"Everything alright, man?"
Capellan shrugs,
"Just bummed about losing again." He admits, "That's four in a row, now."
"Three of those matches were against top ten guys in the OOWF." Wilder reminds him, then grins, "And the last was against me."
Capellan rolls his eyes but gives a slight smile,
"Well there's one I should won right there, then. Who's ever heard of that Wilder kid?"
"Take it from me." Westgaard indicates himself and Wilder, "The tag team division's going to be hearing about wCw, and they won't soon forget it."
Capellan raises his eyebrows,
"wCw?"
Wilder nods,
"JW and I came up with it. I dunno if you looked at the tag division lately but about the only other team there that fights without outside interference is - of all people - Jack and Concrete. Now, Birdy and I can get the business done in the ring, but we need someone we can trust to put a stop to any third-man crap from Firechild, Viper or that new King Wally guy. Me, you and Westgaard ... wCw."
Westgaard slaps Capellan on the shoulder,
"You up for it, man?"
"Of course." Capellan nods, "You know I'll get your back if someone tries to interfere with your matches. Just like you would for me ... though unless I jumped to that snake-pit they call an Intercontinental division, I shouldn't have too much trouble on that front. At least not in the ring ... backstage is another story."
"Don't matter where the trouble comes, bro. We got your back." Wilder affirms. "This wCw looks after its own."
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