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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:25:47 GMT -5
**A news bulletin appears on the television where any of the OOWF wrestlers may be watching**
Newscaster: Good evening, I’m Wurley Gretianbaum from New Brunswick Local News with this Special Bulletin.
There appears to have been some trouble at the sports arena tonight as the OOWF kicked off their Canadian tour. While most people will maintain that this type of thing is fake, we assure you that the footage you are about to see is real. In fact, so chillingly real that some parents may not want their children to view this footage.
**TV shows footage of Hellion being beaten to the point of unconscious.**
Newscaster Voiceover: Here we see OOWF wrestler Edwin Smith, who wrestles under the name of “Hell Lion”? Hell Lion? Are you kidding me? Whatever. Here we see Edwin Smith being beaten by several other wrestlers in what appears to be an average match for these pros; that is until this point. **Footage shows Camby. landing on Hellion’s sternum. The repeated slow motion shows Hellion’s chest seemingly cave in under the blow**
Voiceover: Wrestler Harper Camby lands precariously on Smith’s chest, seriously injuring him.
**Footage changes to a backstage seen where EMT’s appear to be performing CPR on Hellion. Every wrestler watching suddenly realizes that the EMT’s being shown are not the normal hired staff and young “wrestlers-in-training” that normally appear in backstage vignettes, but that these are real EMT’s. Also, they notice in the footage, that Hellion is not moving at all. In fact, he looks quite dead.**
Voiceover: EMT’s worked on Smith at the arena for several minutes before transferring him to New Brunswick Medical Center and Veterinary Clinic. Smith’s condition is not known at this time and hospital staff has declined to comment.
**The footage ends and the newscaster is back on with a solemn look on his face**
Newscaster: Well sometimes we learn that what we see in the wrestling ring is real, very, very real. Kids, please don’t try this at home.
**The bulletin ends and a commercial for “Pizza Planet” comes on**
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:26:08 GMT -5
**A sexy female journalist catches up to L.D> Williams in the locker room. She opens her mouth to speak, sees the look in L.D.’s eyes, closes her mouth and mutely holds out the microphone.**
LD: “Adrenaline, I knew you had ego problems and a loose connection with reality, but I didn’t realize you were developmentally challenged. How hard is it to understand the words ‘stay out of my business’?
You and I had a good thing going Johnny. If you could keep your head in the game for more than a week at a time, we could own the OOWF. Unfortunately, you’re so caught up in your own paranoia and self doubt that you can’t get the job done. Well, I’m tired of it.
Last week, Adrenaline, I told you the next move was yours. Was that it? You attack my opponent after the match is over, make me look like a fool? Grow a set Johnny. If you’re gonna come after me, then come after me. Stop with the waffling and make a decision. Are we partners, or do I have to end your carreer? Your choice Johnny, but make it soon.”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:26:38 GMT -5
Donovan Viper, Harper Camby, Tommy O'Neill, and Corax watch the news bulletin about Corax on the monitor.
DV: Oh my gosh.
HC: Wow. I didn't realize I hurt him that bad.
TO: Yeesh. 'e looks ta be 'en bad shaip.
Cor: You guys really did a number on him. Damn.
DV: I don't know what to say.
*pause*
DV, HC, TO, Cor: BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!
DV: His real name is Edwin? Bwahaaha! Did you know that Cor?
Cor: No, I didn't! Hahaha! What a mook! No wonder I split up with this piece of crap!
TO: Oh, poor Edwin, getin' all twested up good 'en all. 'es a bleedin shame, haha!
HC: Oh, rewind it on TiVo so I can see it again! OH! Look at that! Hahaha!
DV: What a hoot. Yo, I gotta get some air for a bit. Hahahaha!
Viper walks out into the hallway to find Mark Vander.
MV: Couldn't beat me proper, could you, coward? Had to use the chain, huh? You're trash, Viper.
DV: Listen to me you little shit! Tonight's match was all about me having my mind on the title when I should have had my mind on kicking your little punk ass across the ring. I was distracted.
MV: Here's something to make sure you're paying attention.
Vander backhand slaps Viper in the face. Viper gets pissed but doesn't attack.
DV: How about a rematch then? I technically didn't win, even though I should have. I should get to avenge my loss, yes?
MV: Another chance to kick your ass, Viper? Count me in. Oh wait. You're just going to use that chain of yours again, and cheat me out of a proper victory.
DV: What chain?
MV: Oh fuck you man. If you're gonna use a chain. I'm gonna use a chain. Chain match. Next week.
DV: Only on one condition.
MV: ?
DV: I haven't seen that sexy little Missy Lane around lately. I'd like her to be at ringside to watch her little investment get pummelled.
MV: That's it?
DV: Uh uh. If I win this match, I get her services. Missy Lane goes to Donovan Viper.
MV: Uh, she doesn't actually work for me. She works for Bensoir. I don't think that legalities will....
DV: This is professional wrestling, Vander. Contracts, deeds, even marriage licences can be won by winning a match.
MV: What the hell do you want with her anyway, you sick bastard?
Viper goes in close. Nose to nose with Vander.
DV: I want to fuck her.
Vander punches Viper in the face, bringing him down to one knee, and then kicks him in the head, taking him down. Vander leaves. Viper looks on clenching his jaw with a sadistic smile in his face,
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:27:04 GMT -5
[Sexy Female Journalist #12 is chasing after Johnny Adrenaline, who is hastily pulling his golf bag behind him as he is heading to his car.]
SFJ: Johnny, Johnny, can I get a word...?
JA: [turns around] Huh? What?
SFJ: L.D. Williams just had some rather harsh words for you. Claimed you were trying to steal his spotlight by attacking Black Dragon after the IC Title match...
JA: Hold on... L.D.'s a good guy. And I know he must be frustrated that Dragon beat him. But saying I'm trying to steal his thunder is a bit much. I stayed out of his business. The match was over, then I tended to MY business I have with our so-called Intercontinental Champion. So I laid him out. So what? The chump deserved it. What was gonna happen? Was L.D. gonna shake his hand? Was the crowd gonna cheer? Who gives a crap? It's not about L.D. It's not about me. It's about that Intercontinental Title! He knows that. L.D.'s just pissed that he lost. Look, buddy, don't take it out on me.
SFJ: But Johnny...
[Johnny's cell phone rings.]
JA: Honey, I gotta take this...
[Johnny walks to his car and we fade to black.]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:27:51 GMT -5
The Tag Team Champions are CELEBRATING~! at the local sports bar. FF Caps is hamming it up with two sluts at one end of the bar while Stank is getting his drink on at a booth, his tag-team strap out in front of him on the table. FF Capslock walks over Stank with both ladies in each arm.
FFCaps - Yo Stank my man! This here is Celine and this one is Chelsea. Which one do you wanna get your stank on? Personally I think you should take Celine cause she has no butt.
Celine - HEY!
FFCaps - It's alright babe. You gotta pretty face. You see Stank here doesn't like ass eating.
Stank - (Staring at his tag strap) You can keep both of them. SFJ#5 over there by the foosball tables has been eyeing me all night and she doesn't have a mic in hand, so I don't think it's for an interview.
FFCaps - Whatever man. You've been staring a hole in that belt since we won them.
Stank - Yo man. I gotta lose weight.
FFCaps - (Laughing) What? Why?
Stank - I want to wear this around my waist.
FFCaps - Hey it looks just as good on your shoulder as around anyone's waist, am I right ladies?
Chelsea & Celine - Hmmm mmmm.
Stank - Thanks, but I'd still like to see it around my waist.
FFCaps - Whatever bro. The girls and I are going to shoot some pool. You want me to send SFJ#5 over here?
Stank - No I'll go over there with y'all.
Stank finishes his beer, let's out a loud belch, totes his tag strap over his shoulder and is headed for the foosball tables when he and FFC notice 3 Piece Set on one of the Plasma screen TVs.
Stank and FFC look at each other... then laugh their asses off. The ladies join in the infectious laughter and it soon spreads throughout a good portion of the sports bar.
FFCaps - Those guys have lost their minds. A cage match? Lambs to the slaughter my friend. Ah well. It's their funeral.
Stank - DRINKS ON THE TAG CHAMPS FOR EVERYONE!
The crowd cheers
FFCaps - Check it out Stank. Up here in Canada... we're babyfaces.
Stank - Wait til the inevitable brawl starts. Though tonight... my heart isn't in it. I just wanna get drunk and maybe bone SFJ#5 there.
FFCaps - You're a real romantic Stank.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:28:15 GMT -5
*The Australians are discussing MHJ's challenge*
GB: We have had some great matches with them.
OBJ: And we can usually count on them to fight their own battles. Their factions seem to have split up anyways.
WBK: Understood. I'm happy to go to the Rick's office to seal the deal. Then we can go out on the town, Wally-style. But I'd better make sure I'm allowed at ringside, in case one of the other teams jumps in.
GB: You sure you want to take that chance? You saw what happened to Hellion.
WBK: Still safer than my day job. Not that I worked the day shift much.
OBJ: So anyways, how do you know MHJ?
WBK: Have you ever heard that what happens in Thailand stays in Thailand?
OBJ: No.
WBK: Neither have I. But I'll tell the story better after a couple of drinks, so let's go see the GM and see to business.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 7, 2008 19:28:42 GMT -5
AA and Niles are in a bar somewhere in Canada. Judging from a fresh, man-sized hole in the wall, Beast must be somewhere around as well.
AA: Hey Niles, I underestimated these Canadians. I thought they’d hate us after we defeated Canadian Dragon and Hardbody Harris, but check it out, THEY LOVE US!
NA: How do you figure? Ever since I walked in here, people are saying Beast and I screwed Dragon. I keep telling them that’s Viper’s gig, but they don’t get it. But it’s OK, I have Beast taking care of it.
Niles and AA stop to listen as a random customer flies screaming across a pool table. From the direction the customer came from stands Beast, who has a smile on his face as he easily has the upper hand in a brawl with a half dozen other customers.
NA: Beast sure seems happy.
AA: Tell me about it. As long as we keep paying for his damage, he’s just like a puppy. Watch out, mug up!
Another customer goes sliding across the bar, thanks to Beast.
AA: Well, a really strong and mean puppy… Anyway, I think the people here love us. Watch this. Bartender, another beer!
AA pulls $100 American from his wallet. The bartender looks at AA, smiles, pours a beer and hands it to AA along with $120 Canadian.
AA: Check it out. I’m such a hero in this country already that they’re giving me money! I give them $100, they give me a beer and $120. How cool is that! And their money has all kinds of neat birds and stuff on them. I’m gonna keep this stuff and spend the American money, and when I get back to the States I’ll be rich! Bartender! Another beer for my friend, the OOWF World Champion! Ah, hell. You folks are so great…a round of beers on the house!
NA: You know, we’ve been having such a good time, I haven’t looked to see who we face this week. Have you seen the card?
AA: No, I haven’t. That’s not like The Rick. It’s probably because we’re in Canada. You know, the time change because we’re in a different country? In Dayton, it’s Thursday. But because Canada’s so slow, it’s probably only Tuesday. In fact, here in Canada, we haven’t even wrestled the Midweek Mayhem show where we beat Harris and Dragon. Yet they still love us…go figure.
NA: Bartender. It seems the OOWF card for next week is coming over your fax right now. Mind passing that over?
NA checks out the card.
NA: Oh shit!
AA: (Spews beer all over the bar). Beast! Quit playing around! We got serious business next week!
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