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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:26:16 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live! From St. John's Antigua
Non-Title Match - Stips TBA[/u] Alexander Darling vs. Firewoman
Steel Cage Non-Title Match[/u] Matt Folz vs. Stan Fulton
Elimination Match[/u] Sanctum, Nothing Happened & Texpress vs. Poe, Stank & Salvation
KZ vs. Drink & Destroy Chris Evans vs. The Dead DDT vs. Dr. Inferieri
card subject to Beach Boys invasion
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:26:38 GMT -5
In the post match flurry of activities, Firewoman is working her way through the crowd of production assistants, wrestlers, and assorted other folks, dodging and weaving through them until she catches up to her target.
FW: Juni....Juni.....WAIT!
Eco: So...NOW you call me Juni....awesome....
*he keeps walking*
FW: Look....STOP! I want to....dude, I'm trying to say I'm sorry.
*Eco stops and turns around, angry.*
Eco: Sorry. Sorry for what, specifically?
FW: Um.....sorry we lost?
Eco: I'm sorry...how did that go again?
FW: Sorry we lost the match?
Eco: You're sorry we lost?
FW: Y...yeah? What, is that wrong?
Eco: You're not sorry YOU couldn't control your temper? You're not sorry YOU let Alexander get the best of you...AGAIN? And just what DID he say to you, anyway?
FW: It doesn't matt--
Eco: Well, yes it does. I can't save you if you won't level with me.
FW: Okay....well, then...I'm sorry about....what you just said.
Eco: *throws up his hands, and looks skyward...even heavenward one would say* I know I should have patience, but damn, I'm no saint. *he looks back down to Fire*. Okay, I'm not okay with this at all. I will be...but just....not now.....we'll talk later.
Eco walks away. Firewoman stands there for a bit, then heads in the opposite direction. She gets to the locker rooms of the Five and sees a new face carrying stuff.
NewFace: Hello.
FW: Who the fuck is that?
MHJ: Jake. Hired him to carry stuff while Lucky is out stirring up trouble for you.
FW: I have no idea what you're talking about.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:26:57 GMT -5
*Darling Locker Room*
Alexander is pacing around the room. He keeps staring at a piece of paper in his hand and then up at the TV that has a blank OOWF screen. Shawn is sitting on one of the couches with Spencer and they're engaging in small talk. Alex finally has had enough and tosses the paper away.
Alexander: Fire, I'm going to make this short which should surprise you. Pick what you want. Inferno, First Blood, Street Fight, Bondage Match...I truly don't care anymore. I've proven I'm better than you and yet you continue to try and prove you won't self-destruct. Yet, that's exactly what happened last night. I know exactly what buttons to push and you'll crumble like a house of cards.
Could you try and do the same to me? Sure, you could and you may even succeed. You can rattle me. I don't deny that. You know where my weaknesses are and how to exploit them, but you forget just what happens when I get pushed into a corner. It may be a cliche and everything, but I guarantee you this, if you push me against a wall where I have no place to go, I will lash out and while I regret what's happened in the past I will no longer regret what happens between us.
I've accepted your apology. You have not realized the ramifications of that though. It means any leftover feelings of loyalty I had towards you are gone. You're just another wrestler to me now Fire. And just like every other wrestler I get in the ring with, you won't win because I refuse to allow it. So, next week, choose whatever stipulation you want because at the end of the day it doesn't matter. Because I am Alexander Darling, and well, you're just not.
*Fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:27:14 GMT -5
A'isha al-Takriti walks into theRick's office and slams down a few papers on his desk.
GMtR: Don't we usually close that door?
Aa-T: I signed it. The waiver too.
theRick sighs.
GMtR: You sure about this?
Aa-T: Don't I look sure?
GMtR: I try not to look at girls your age. I get in trouble.
theRick looks through the papers.
GMtR: Everything seems in order. One last chance to back out...
Aa-T: I'm good.
GMtR: Very well. Erlana, we have our first match at Midsummer Night's Scream 4, live from Oranjestad, Aruba. A'isha al-Takriti vs Alexis Darling. I'm sure Poe will be in here shortly.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:27:32 GMT -5
The ninjacam comes up in a small locker room where we see DDT sitting at a modest card table in the corner leafing through some OOWF history records. DVD walks in the room looks around and sighs.
DVD- Man bro, we have got to get our own locker room.
DDT just shrugs and smiles.
DVD- Yeah man, I know you like hanging out with the enhancement talent, the whole earning your stripes thing and all, but how am I gonna pick up chicks in a place like this.
DDT smile widens and he chuckles softly.
DVD-(ignoring DDT's reaction) anyways, I've got this weeks card.
DDT motions for him to tell it.
DVD- Looks like it's you and Dr. Inferieri this week.
DDT looks confused and starts ruffling through the paperwork in front of him.
DVD- Nah bro, he ain't in there. He's a new guy like you. You did well against the local guy, but I think you and this guy might be a better matchup.
DDT motions for him to continue.
DVD- I think you guys are pretty well matched in the experience department. You've got the mma stuff, but he's got more of the book knowledge.
DDT frowns at this.
DVD- Face it man, I majored in the ladies, and you majored in the bailing my butt out of trouble.
DDT's smile returns as they give each other the knucklebump of respect followed bye an explosion effect with their hands.
DVD- You've got the strength advantage, but he's got you on speed. You both are new and looking to make an impact man. It's gonna come down to whomever makes more rookie mistakes I'd imagine.
DDT nods in agreement and cracks his knuckles.
DVD- True that, bro I hope it's him too.
(fade)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:27:50 GMT -5
(Tytan storms into the Salvation Sanctuary. Eco is doing whatever it is that he does when he is alone.)
Tytan: Did you see the card....
Eco: I did...
Tytan: And you are cool with this. Cool being on the same side as them..
Eco: By them you mean Stank and your former partner.
Tytan: I have no desire to be associated with them
Eco: But they are warriors like you Tytan there should be a comradeship between you.
Tytan: There is no honor among them, I can not side with them.
Eco: If you don't do it then you know Wrath will follow.
Tytan: This is a matter of principal and they represent something that I do not believe in.
Eco: But maybe we can use this as a chance to save them.
Tytan: Damn it Eco the only way we are going to be able to save anyone around here is to show them "Our way" is the right way and the only way we can do that is by example. And right now the way you have been acting...or I should say you and Tyler have been acting....you two are heading down that same path the five is on and I am not going that way.
Eco: Why is that Tytan?
Tytan: I did that and look where it got me. Ultimo Inc turned me into a scared burnt monster. And I was left wandering the halls of the basements.
Eco: Until I saved you.
Tytan: Now maybe it is my turn to save you Eco. Let trying to save Fire go and come back to the cause. You are obsessed and it is doing you no good. Look at what the feud did to me....
Think about it.
(Tytan turns and walks out.)
FADE
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:28:07 GMT -5
Poe enters GMtheRick's office with Selena by his side.
GMtR: I've been expecting you. What do you got for me? You gonna talk about how no child of yours will wrestle, blah blah blah?
Poe: I'd like you to make this a mixed tag.
GMtR: A mixed tag? I'm assuming you with A'isha?
Poe: Yes. Alexis can have her tag team partner.
GMtR: Hmm...adding you and Davin Moreland would draw bigger. But you sure you want it a mixed tag? That means you can't touch Alexis.
Poe: Yes. I trust Davin Moreland would not touch A'isha, but...
GMtR: Really?? Are you kidding me? That man has Diamond Cut every SFJ Alexander Darling had.
Poe: I trust he does not want to go to war with me again.
GMtR: Glad you do.
Poe: So do we have a deal?
GMtR: You know what, sure. Youa dn your daughter A'isha vs. Nothing Happened in a mixed tag match. Man vs man, woman vs woman. And you know what? If you lay a hand on Alexis during that match, I'm suspending you for two weeks. Without pay. You wanted this, you abide by my rules.
Poe: Very well.
Sa-T: He's just mad we dyed him blue.
GMtR: I knew that was you! Get out of my office before I change my mind!
Poe smirks and leads Selena out of theRick's office.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:28:26 GMT -5
The Crusher Stan Fulton, in his Panama hat and cargo shorts is back, this time he appears to be browsing at a open air fish market
"Another Midweek Mayhem come and gone and another brutal beating for Matt Folz. Matt, you won the match, but you keep forgetting what I've been saying over and over and over.
"I... don't care... about... your title. All I care about is hurting you."
He looks over the catches of the day which are on display
"It truly is amazing how Mother Earth provides. Look at all these fish and think of the sustenance they will provide the inhabitants of this tiny island. Just like you've provided me something, Matty. You provided me with a goal. Your continued dismissal of me and my talent is like the fuel to my rage.
"When I first walked out of TheRick's office with my new OOWF contract I had a plan to fight my way to the top of the heap and stake my claim to the OOWF title. I had the fire, Matt, but it was just smoldering. You threw gas on that fire, me-boy. Now it's a raging inferno of hate and anger and it's all directed at one single person... for now.
"Just a side note here to LD Williams. I have no beef with you, sir. I don't know what prompted you to come to the ring during my beating of Matt Folz. As I've said before, I respect your work in the ring and I shall continue to do so. I do find it odd that someone who's stabbed you in the back during at least one match that I know of prompts this kind of action on your part. Though perhaps what you want isn't to protect him... perhaps you want that shiny belt he wears which used to be yours.
"None of that matters I guess this week as, Folz, you and I are in the steel cage. No title on the line, no saviors from the back for you. Just you and your taped up ribs and me and my gasoline-fired hate. Suits me fine. I don't need that title now. I don't even need to win the match. I am out to inflict as much damage to you as I can.
"I do applaud your ability to fight me week after week. You must be in excruciating pain. Just climbing through the ropes must be an exercise in torture for you these days. You're one tough hombre. I won't lie; I've got my pains and bruises as well. But compared to you, I'm in pretty good condition. And in a few days we're going to be locked inside an unforgiving steel cage. I expect to walk out covered in my own blood."
He looks down once more at the fish on display
"But I am planning on leaving you laying in the ring like a dead fish, Matt. I will pound your body into those steel wires, brutalize your face on the cage like a cheese grater and, in the end, stand on top of your ribs and drive them into your lungs. And just like these fish, you're going to have the bones removed.
"Enjoy... the pain."
FADE
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:28:45 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland knocks on GM the Rick's office door*
GMtR: *from inside, obviously startled* Uhh..come in?
*Davin calmly walks in*
GMtR: Wow, Davin...long time since you...
DM: Knocked?
GMtR: Yeah.
DM: Davin Moreland would like to discuss things calmly and rationally with you, Weak...er...Rick.
GMtR: Uh huh. Calm. Rational. That sounds like you.
DM: Let's get down to business. Why do you have us in that elimination match this week? It looks like you had nothing better to do, and put us into that huge clusterbomb of a match.
GMtR: Maybe.
DM: And it's a match with the Champs, Sanctuary and your buddies Fatty Fatty Fat Fat and the One Man Sex Offender Registry.
GMtR: I'm sure he won't appreciate that nickname.
DM: WE don't care what he thinks. We always give 100% in every match, Rick, but this is getting a little ridiculous; and NOW you've booked this stupid mixed handicap match with us, the One Man Sex Offender Registry and his daughter/whore du jour. It's a waste of our time. It's a waste of Alexis' time. We are on a mission here, and this is simply not cutting it, Rick.
GMtR: Handicap Match?
DM: Yes Rick. Duh. One Man Sex Offender Registry and Whore du Jour vs. Alexis Darling and us.
GMtR: Wait, what?
DM: Do we have to spell it out for you, Rick? WE are a dominant force being wasted in these crap matches week after week after week. Davin Moreland is tired of it, and we're not going to take it anymore.
GMtR: Well, I'm the GM...
DM: And WE are Davin Moreland. You know what? Fine. One Man Sex Offender Registry wants a handicap match? Fine. You put a stip on him that if he touches Alexis he gets a 2-week suspension, right?
GMtR: Yup.
DM: Then we would assume that if Davin touches Daughter Concubine we would suffer the same fate?
GMtR: It would stand to reason, yes.
DM: Well, we certainly wouldn't want a 2-week vacation in the middle of a Caribbean Tour, would we?
GMtR: Davin...
DM: No. You book the handicap match. Alexis will be there. We will be there. And if the One Man Sex Offender Registry is threatening a war; he'd better be careful what he wishes for. Davin Moreland is bored. We have nothing better to do. Going to war seems like a fun way to pass the time. Also, you may want to consider what team everyone is actually playing for before you decide to go to war. Just saying. We wouldn't want you to be left hanging or anything.
*Both Davin and Rick just stand there, staring at each other for a good two minutes of silence.*
GMtR: Um...get the hell out of my office?
DM: We thought you'd never ask.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:29:08 GMT -5
Poe and Stank are talking in Chamber V.
Stank: You got the match?
Poe: Fairly certain. Rick seems to want the rules enforced fairly tightly both ways, but so be it.
There is a knock on the door.
Stank: Who ever *knocks* on our door? Did you order pizza?
Poe rolls his eyes and opens the door. Ecosystem is standing there.
Poe: ...
Eco: May I come in?
Stank: Sit.
Eco walks in and sits down between where Poe and Stank has been sitting.
Eco: Have you heard anything from Tytan?
Stank: Your partner? No.
Poe: I was watching earlier. He doesn't want to team with us, I hear.
Eco: Right. Conscientious objection. Wrath will be following his lead.
Stank: Bullshit. Get his ass in line.
Eco: See...I'm not going to do that.
Stank: Excuse me?
Eco: I understand where they're coming from. You Five tore apart Drink and Destroy, as well as Texpress, for literally no good reason last week other than the fact that you were bored.
Poe: So we are expected to justify ourselves to Mr. Tytan, now?
Eco: If you want his help, yeah, kind of. I mean, look, this shit goes against literally everything Salvation is about. To go and commit a senseless act--
Stank: Oh CUT THE CRAP, ECO. He stands up. Look, I am willing to humor your little ventriloquist act to a point. But let's be honest. Salvation is about furthering your own ends and elevating your status, because you felt jilted by not being invited into the Five. If you need your followers to fall in line, they will fall in line.
Eco slowly rises.
I know you. Don't pull this shit with me.
Eco: Stank, you don't know me at all anymore. Wrath and Tyler are not my puppets. Should Infieri choose to continue to align with me, he will not be my puppet. And above all else, my partner Tytan is not my puppet. And so long as he and Wrath feel that agreeing to team with you would be tantamount to condoning your behavior, I support them in opting out of the match.
Stank: Are you f--
Poe: And what of you? You're leaving with them?
Eco: No. No, I'll stay. My choices have led up to this match, and I will be there to fight, and likely to get my ass kicked. So be it. Better I break my bones than another should injure his soul.
See you gentlemen Wednesday.
Eco walks out. Poe acknowledges him as Stank stands there, stunned.
Stank: ...He's not serious.
Poe: He is.
Stank: So he believes this shit.
Poe: Yes. All of it. It's the single most terrifying part about him.
Stank: ...whatever. Two fewer stiffs to carry.
Poe: Perhaps.
FADE
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:29:27 GMT -5
Fade into The Chamber with an old school style promo-interview set up.
SFJ5: I'll be standing in for Lucky who is away on personal business for my guest, Firewoman. Firewoman, you've been quiet since your tag team match, but I'd like to get your comments on your upcoming match against your former...well, what?
FW: I don't blame your usual ditziness for having your words fail you there. To say we were once friends doesn't quite get it...even family is not quite right. But yeah, we have a match Wednesday.
SFJ5: It seems that GM the Rick has decided you've been punished enough for your disappearance, and he's even granted you the opportunity to name the stipulations.
FW: Yeah. Of course, it's not a title match. But since I get to name the stips... the first one I'm going to name is that WHEN I win...not IF, Alex, but WHEN....when I win, you give me a title shot at the next PPV.
SFJ5: Is that the only stipulation?
FW: *smiles and batistalaughs* Now that's the 64 thousand dollar question, isn't it. Well, I've been quiet because I've been meditating on it. Hanging in graveyards, dancing around fires, the usual. The people of the Caribbean are very welcoming.
SFJ5: And what have you decided?
FW: You know it's funny. My brother, who is typically brimming with advice, has been giving me the silent treatment. I have no idea what that's about, but I know him well enough to know that he would recommend I call for the most brutal, bloody match we could possibly come up with. I'm not sure if it's because he loves violence, and watching me engage it more than he hates Alexander, but that's what his advice would be.
SFJ5: Do you think his silent treatment has anything to do with your relationship with Ecosystem?
FW: Didn't I just say I don't know? But now that you mention it, yeah, Eco has his own ideas about what I should do, and while he's also been quiet on the subject, I'm pretty sure he'd want a good clean fight, despite his mysterious hatred of Alexander.
SFJ5: Why does everyone hate Alexander?
FW: Do we need a reason? The real question is, which of those would Alexander want.
SFJ5: Why does that matter?
FW: It doesn't matter to me. I lose no matter which stip I pick, no matter what the outcome of the match is. If I go for the old ultraviolence, Alexander can say that I knew I wouldn't be able to control myself in a straight match, and that the only way I could win would be to head down that path. If I won, it'd be because I can legally "cheat," and if I lost it'd be because the bloodlust left me out of control. If I choose the straight match, I play right into Alexander's hands, too. If I lose, it's because I can't wrestle straight, and if I win...
So, it seems I can't really win in that respect, no matter which stip I choose. So, I think I'll be choosing the option that's best FOR ME. Alex can say and think what he wants, I don't care.
SFJ5: Ah...ultraviolence then. So which kind is it?
FW: Onslaught rules.
SFJ5: What?
FW: Straight, clean, no nonsense. Remember, I'm not going to lose, and since it's a clean match, there's nothing for Alex to say about it. There's no belt to contend with...this time...but everything else is in play. Three rope breaks max....but let's make it interesting. Only ONE warning each.
SFJ5: Whoa....are you....are you serious.....?
FW: I'm deadly serious. Now, Alexander seems fairly confident that he can push my buttons and get me to self-destruct, and you know? He just might be right. We'll never know. But I think Alexander should ask himself a very important question...one that he's been avoiding. I think he needs to worry about whether he WANTS to face the Firewoman of the short fuse, where her temper explodes in an instant at the smallest spark? Or does he want to face the Firewoman who bides her time...waits....calculates her next move...Because he's right. I do know his triggers....I think I even know a few he doesn't think I know about. So which would you rather face in this feud, Alexander? The devil you know? Or the devil who's next move you don't know? Either choice totally sparkles with me.
*fade out*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:29:46 GMT -5
*Scheme Gene interviewing OBJ*
SG: Aonother classic match between Drink and Destroy and KZ, but your partner isn't here.
OBJ: He's in the basement, Gene, and trust me, you don't want to go there.
SG: So, can you comment on his behalf?
OBJ: We can both say we are happy to be taking on KZ. The OOWf has a long history of mayhem, but thre's always a chance we can set the bar higher facing them!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:30:07 GMT -5
(Ecosystem is confronted coming out of the locker room by a SFJ.)
SFJ #392: Ecosystem, can you comment on your verbal attack on Chris Evans after the fatal four-way last week?
Eco: (turning around) What's your name?
SFJ #392: Excuse me?
Eco: Your name, ma'am.
SFJ #392: Clarissa.
Eco: Junichiro. (extending his hand, which she shakes.) Good to meet you, Clarissa. listen...I'm going to answer your question, but I've got to ask you a favor, Clarissa. I've got a lot to get off my chest regarding Chris Evans, and I'd much appreciate it if today...just for today...if we dropped the interviewing business and I just took the microphone and said my piece. Would that be okay? Would that be all right?
Clarissa: Certainly. (She hands over the microphone.)
Eco: Thank you, Clarissa. Thank you for your kindness. Evans...Chris...I hope you're listening right now. I hope you catch this live, and if not, I hope you catch on tape, and I really hope, above all else, you don't just "hear about what I said." Because this is from the heart, my friend. This is from my heart, to you.
Because I need...I need to talk to you seriously, Chris. No more jokes. No more mocking the name, Lionheart. Because you know what? I'm sick of mocking you. I'm sick of going up to the cameras back here, going in front of thousands of booing fans, and mocking your failures to make a fucking point.
I don't think you're a joke, Chris. I think you're amazing. I love you, man. You've earned that stupid damn nickname, "Lionheart." To put up with all the shit you've been through in this damn company. To look this piece of SHIT hellscape in the face and stay the man you are. Not a perfect man, but a good man. A decent man. All we can ever hope to be in this awful world, where we too often excuse ourselves our own depravity because we look around...we look around, and we see the shit everyone else is doing and we tell ourselves, "Hell, I'm not so bad." How bad can it be to objectify a woman, when date rape is commonplace across this country? How bad can it be to cheat on our taxes, when corporate cronies are stealing the pensions of the weakest and most vulnerable. And how bad can it be, how much of a transgression can we really commit, in assaulting another man from behind when sadistic bullies like the Five storm in and tear people's flesh from their skin while they're enjoying a drink like they weren't even human?
"Hell, I'm not so bad!" I do it. We all do it.
But you don't do that, do you, Chris? You don't do that, no you don't. All you fans...all you fans, you don't see Chris when the cameras are off--the man is generous with fans, kind to children, with a heart big enough to fill Madison Square Garden. He's too good for this earth, and he's sure as hell too good for this company. I know it, everyone knows it. And Chris, it was one of those conversations...one of those millions of conversations you have with parents about this business, talking to them about what's appropriate for their children to watch, assuaging some concerns and validating others....it was an older woman, in her mid-40's, and her name...her name was Clara. And I just happened to watch you, Chris, I happened to listen in on the conversation you and Clara were having. And she looked you straight in the eye and said "What is such a nice young man doing in a business like this?" And you laughed, and your laughter made me want to cry. And you told her that you loved what you were doing, and that everything was all right.
(Ecosystem suddenly whips around and punches a mirror. It shatters as Clarissa screams.)
It's NOT ALL RIGHT, CHRIS! IT'S NOT ALL RIGHT!
(Ecosystem looks at his newly bloody, cut hand and begins to cry.)
Because I gotta tell you something else, my friend. Seeing you trying to climb to the top here, trying to define this company....it breaks my fucking heart, man. Because you deserve to be a king, wrestling royalty. What was it they called Malcolm at the funeral? "Our own black shining prince." You're our shining prince, Chris. And you remember the whole phrase, from the Ossie Davis eulogy?
"And we will know him then for what he was and is—a prince—our own black shining prince!—who didn’t hesitate to die, because he loved us so."
You know, I must have read that damn passage a million times in college. A million times, talking about the nobility of Malcolm, of the meaning and significance of his death, of his appropriation as black messiah. And with all the analysis, all the discussion and thoughtful rumination, I couldn't help but think one thing:
"The son of a bitch shouldn't have had to die."
You see, Chris, the goal of a society should not be to create martyrs. It should be to render them obsolete. Chris, listen to me very, very, VERY carefully. You will die for this cause. You will--Clarissa? Clarissa, come back here?
Clarissa: (hesitantly) Yes?
Eco: Do you think he believes me? You think that Chris Evans, the Lionheart, the Good Man, do you think he believes me when I tell him all this, this is going to kill him. Do you think he believes me?
Clarissa: I...I don't know.
Eco: You don't know. I know, Clarissa. I know too well. He's not going to believe me, Clarissa. That DUMB SON OF A BITCH WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT I'M TELLING HIM!
(Eco tears the glass out of his hand and throws it to the floor, opening his hand wound up more.)
Eco: Chris, I started this company when I was twenty-four. And let me tell you something, I thought I was riding high. I thought that my education had prepared me for this, I thought I was going to have the time of my fucking life. And then, you know what happened Chris? It broke me. The place of fun and joy I was going to create became a place of twisted smiles and wicked vengeance, and it broke me. And you'll hear Moosehead Jack every day call me a quitter. Because he's a man that can get up in the morning--and dammit, I don't know how the hell he does it, but he does--he can get up in the morning and not only look at himself, his sadistic self, look at himself in the mirror and smile. He's lasted from the very beginning in this company because he's the kind of man who can take it.
And dammit Chris, I see you right now, I can see you in my mind's eye, Chris. You're....you're pitying me. You don't think you'll break. You think I broke, and you won't...but you're not even laughing or calling me weak. I could take the laughter, Chris, but you're not giving it to me. No Chris, you're...you're pitying me. You're sitting there and you're pitying me. DON'T YOU PITY ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU WILL BREAK, CHRIS! It happened to me once, Chris, and with God...with God as my witness it will happen to you.
This is the whole of it, Chris. This is what I mean when I ask you to let me save you. Because I cannot abide by the perpetuation of an industry that's going to make you a martyr. A company that's going to take a man who doesn't hesitate to die, who really and truly loves everyone of those fans as much as you do, and then only put you on a pedestal when you're already in the damn coffin.
You see, Chris, I'm not a good man like you. I couldn't even pretend to me. But I'm a man who's been given the Lord's work to do, and if I have to drag you, and Ravenna, and EVERY DAMN MEMBER OF SANCTUM, BACK AND FORTH ACROSS THAT RING, UNTIL YOU SAY "I QUIT! I GIVE! I UNDERSTAND NOW! WE CAN'T GO ON THIS WAY..."
....well, Chris, then that's what I'll do. Because much like former President Bush, much like the majority in this country, sinners that we are...I am willing to torture to save a life.
(Ecosystem drops the microphone.)
Eco: I'm done, Clarissa.
(He walks away.)
FADE
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:30:41 GMT -5
A somewhat familiar face sits behind a table, selling DVDs. The banner behind the table reads "5th Anniversary DVD: Best Promos EVAR!" Next to him is "Virgil, Wrestling Superstar." At least that's what the sign says. Virgil is wearing a Gonzaga basketball jersey. No one pays him any attention. Relatively, the somewhat familiar guy's business is booming. By that we mean one fan is browsing through the DVDs while his son wipes snot on the tablecloth. Fan: You use to be in the OOWF? Somewhat Familiar Guy: Geez, are all OOWF fans newbie idiots? How long have you been following the OOWF? Fan: About two years. Is Alexander Darling here? I love him. He does great promos! SFG: Screw you. Darling couldn't hold a promo candle to what we use to do. Fan: You use to be in the OOWF? Are you Hardbody Harris? He was cool. I loved his BFF Treehouse. Whatever happened to it? Just one day, it was gone. SFG: ONE DAY IT WAS GONE!?!?!?!? Are you kidding me!?!?!?! That was one of our...err...the OOWF's greatest promos. Does "TIMMMMMMM-BEEEEEEEER!" ring a bell? Fan: No? SFG: Fans these days are useless. (Just then Firewoman walks by. She looks like she's been hanging in graveyards, dancing around fires, the usual. The people of the Caribbean are very welcoming.) SFG: Look, you want great promos? The OOWF made a pregnancy angle work--twice! How many other wrestling associations did that? I can tell. ZERO!!!! So take this video, sit yourself and your snotnose kid in front of it, and watch how real pros do promos! www.oowrestling.com/OOForums/viewthread.php?tid=14831&page=2
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:31:12 GMT -5
<Moose is sitting in an abandoned part of the ship, looking out over the ocean evidently lost in thought, puffing on a cigar. Jake Walker walks up to him and hands him a coffee and sits down next to him>
JW: I have to thank you for getting me this gig while Lucky is away
MHJ: Not a problem, just don’t piss off Fire
JW: Wouldn’t dream of it
<a long silence passes between them>
JW: You have something on your mind? You have been pretty quiet lately, Fire thinks you are giving her the silent treatment
MHJ: Nah. Not on purpose.
JW: What’s her deal with Eco?
MHJ: I don’t know.
JW: And that’s all you have to say about that?
MHJ: You have any siblings?
JW: Nope. Folks got a load of me and decided I was enough
MHJ: Smart move
JW: Yeah worked out great for me. What’s on your mind?
MHJ: I don’t understand her
JW: No doubt. She is a woman, AND a Quinn
MHJ: Fire is the most independent person I know, always has been. You told her to do something, and she would do the opposite just to spite you. Whether it was in her best interests or not.
JW: Sounds about right, what’s the problem?
MHJ: On one hand, I see what Darling is doing. He is leading her by the nose, making her jump through hoops, making her go against her nature. He is using her ambition against her.
JW: Yeah, that makes him a weasily little shit
MHJ: He is afraid of her. He is afraid of what she can do to him. He will never admit it, but it is true.
JW: So what’s the problem again?
MHJ: This isn’t Fire. This is not the Lisa I know. Run DEA tried to control her. That didn’t work. They caused their own destruction because they tried to reel her in. Now, I see her………listening to Eco. Listening to Darling.
JW: And not listening to you
MHJ: <just staring at Walker> This is not how I would have done things
JW: Of course not. You already proved that, you would have gone after Darling with everything you had until one of you was dead
MHJ: And until recently, so would Fire.
JW: Moose, with all due respect, I am still not sure what the problem is here
MHJ: One of the reasons I pushed so hard for Fire to be in the Five, despite her history with Poe, was because she and I shared the same outlook on things. Destroy what got in our way. There was no such thing as a step back. There never was any steps back. When we were kids, if someone tried to stop us, we went at them like mad dogs. It is just the way it was.
JW: And now she’s not doing that
MHJ: No
JW: And that pisses you off?
MHJ: <looking up for the first time> I am not sure
JW: I am not following you here
MHJ: I know one thing. Destroy. Darling did what he did to me, and it was all I could do to keep from leaving him lying in a pool of blood, left for dead. The ONLY reason I didn’t was because I was asked not to.
JW: By who?
MHJ: That’s not important. The fact is, I went against my nature, and it haunts me to this day.
JW: People change Jack, its not always a bad thing
MHJ: That’s my point. I see what she’s doing, I see how she is bending, I want to scream at her to slaughter Alex, and tell Eco to disappear. I want to, but I know if I do, I am no different than either of them, and that is something I can’t live with either. She has made the decision to play by their rules, and on one hand, it sickens me, but on the other hand……..
JW: You respect it?
MHJ: Yeah I have learned not to throw that word around. I am not sure respect is the right word anyway. Its like sitting back and watching a mad scientist experiment. I see what is happening, and I know what the outcome has to be. And while I am not powerless to stop it, I can’t interfere
JW: You have to let nature take its course
MHJ: In a manner of speaking, yes.
JW: Then do that. Let her do things her way, even if they are foreign to you
MHJ: Its just that……..fucking Darling
JW: Yeah, he is a miserable little shit
MHJ: It’s more than that. He is everything I…….we……..hate. He is a rich boy playing in our world. He was the one on the playgrounds when we were in school, he was the rich kid whose fathers drove them to school in new cars while we walked. He was the one WE worked for, while they sat back. He is all those things, and worse, because he is pretending to be one of us
JW: He claims he was cut off
MHJ: He is a fucking liar too. So to see Fire giving into his whims. Playing by his rules. It is just……
JW: Maddening.
MHJ: Yes.
JW: Jack, you gotta let her do this her way
MHJ: I know.
JW: No matter how much it sucks
MHJ: I know
JW: And when she does it?
MHJ: I want to be there to kick that bastard’s carcass out of the ring
JW: Why didn’t you keep after him?
MHJ: He hid behind the title.
JW: You could have got him anyway
MHJ: I could have, but then that would have made it look like I wanted his title
JW: You don’t?
MHJ: No
JW: Isn’t that everyone’s goal? To be the champ?
MHJ: Not when it comes to Darling
JW: So what do you want?
MHJ: What do I want? I want to go back to Japan. I want Darling with nothing on the line. No rules. Not sanctioned by anyone. No one to stop the fight. No one to step in. I want to beat him until one of us can no longer continue. I want him laid out before me, in a pool of his own blood, begging me to stop. I want him to admit that he is nothing but a farce. I want him to admit that he is nothing more than a spoiled little rich kid who is doing this because daddy doesn’t approve. I want to prove that he is not one of us
JW: You really think he will go for that?
MHJ: He has no choice.
JW: <after another long pause> What about this week? You are teaming with LD. KZ rides again eh?
MHJ: <smirking> Kz. Joyful Slaughter. That may be the single most appropriate name in the history of wrestling
JW: LD don’t strike me as the type to revel in the slaughter
MHJ: That’s the beauty of it. He doesn’t have to, I do. He can do what he does best, and I can do what I do best, and it clicks.
JW: You gonna guarantee victory over Drink and Destroy?
MHJ: No. Those fuckers………. They are everything Alexander Darling is not. They do this because……….you were in prison, right?
JW: Yeah, did a stretch of ten in San Quentin
MHJ: You’ve been in your share of fights then
JW: Hell yes, started a few of em too
MHJ: Then you know, there are guys…….they smell blood in the air. Guys like Darling, they smell it, but its just there
JW: But with others……
MHJ: It triggers something. That’s me. That’s Drink and Destroy. They know they are going to bleed. They don’t care. They welcome it, they act on it, its almost primal. Guys like Darling…….they bleed, and its just blood. It’s something to be taken care of with stitches. You can make a man like Darling quit if you make him bleed enough. But guys like Spin and Jack………they won’t stop. They will never stop. So the blood is not a strategy, I can bleed Darling white, he will stop. He has that……..thing that self-preservation. I don’t. Jack doesn’t. LD doesn’t. Spin doesn’t
JW: Fire doesn’t
MHJ: Doesn’t she?
JW: Jack, I haven’t been here as long as you, but I’ve been around. I have seen people like Fire before. I have seen people like Fire and LD before, and I am going to be honest, they are the ones that scared me. Guys like you, Poe, Stank, the boys in D&D, I am not saying there is nothing to fear, but you know what you are getting. You know what to expect, you know how to prepare. Fire……….Fire is toying with her prey right now. She is a cat, Darling is a mouse. The poor bastard is just too dumb to know it right now. She is toying with him, and when she gets tired of it, she is going to bite his head off. The problem is, only SHE knows when that will be. You can’t tell her when to do it, no one can. You always have to watch out for them, and that, that is a pain in the ass.
<another long silence passes and Jake Walker gets up and starts to leave>
JW: Good chat Moose. I dare say that was a promo right there
MHJ: Where you headed to?
JW: Heard Ravenna was getting some sun, think maybe I’ll go have a look
<Jake Walker laughs as he walks off. Moose takes a long drag on his cigar and looks out over the water, once again lost in thought>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:31:38 GMT -5
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:31:58 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is SIPPING~! on a Dunkin' Donuts Dark Roast Iced Coffee (how they got that HERE is a mystery), and has a front row seat to Dead CLOSING THE CASKET on Evans. Davin steps out as Dead is done with his soliloquy.*
DM: Nice work, kid.
*Dead loads up another CTC, which Davin somehow saw coming and avoids it*
DM: Hey, hey, hey...We're being serious here, Dead. You're finally starting to make an impression here.
TD: What the fuck do you want, Davin?
DM: Us? We don't want anything. We know that we have had our problems in the past, but that's petty shit. We're different people now, and we just want you to know that we respect you. And if you need anything, not that you do, but if you do; you know where to find us.
TD: Why are you here, anyway?
DM: You can't smell it?
TD: Smell what?
DM: There's blood in the air.
TD: So?
*Davin is quiet for a minute. A close-up reveals him using a small piece of barbed wire to cut his forearm.*
DM: So. Nothing. We'll be fine. However, we would like to find the kitchen...just in case.
*Davin leaves*
TD: Wow, he's crazier than I remember...if that's even possible.
*fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:32:17 GMT -5
Poe is training with A'isha in some undisclosed location on the ship. (there's a lot of room on this thing). Selena is sitting watching...sort of. A'isha punches the mits on Poe's hands and then spins around to deliver a spin kick to his head. Poe ducks just in the nick of time and then puts his hands down and glares at A'isha.
Poe: What did I tell you about that?
Aa-T: Aww, gettin' slow pops? I gotta practice it.
Poe gets back into a defensive stance.
Poe: Okay, let's go again.
Selena's face lights up as she just remembered something to tell Poe. She hops off her chair and darts to the ring and rolls in under the bottom rope. She stands up behind A'isha.
Sa-T: Hey, Oma...
Selena screams as A'isha spins quickly and throws a punch at Selena. A'isha stops it a mere inch from Selena's face.
Aa-T: You want me to bash in your face?? Never sneak up behind someone like that!
Poe: Beloved...you shouldn't be in the ring. What is it?
Sa-T: I...I forgot now.
A'isha rolls her eyes and turns around to start practicing again. Just as she does, the door to the room opens and a new SFJ (let's call her...Dolores) walks in.
Sa-T: Wow, the air just got really thick of skank reek in here.
A'isha snickers, trying not to laugh.
Poe: You are interrupting a very important training session.
Dol: I was told to get your thoughts on this weeks match. GMtheRick said you've been really bad about focusing on current matches lately.
Poe: What's his excuse on his lack of focus?
Dol: Um...he drinks...a lot?
Poe: Touche.
Aa-T: Just say something to the girl so we can get back to it. I want a Powerade anyway.
Sa-T: Yay! Drinks!
Selena slides out of the ring and literally dives into the cooler. Selena tosses a Strawberry Powerade to A'isha, then one to Poe before opening one for herself.
Poe: This week I'm am in an elimination match. These are merely gimmick matches made for the purposes of getting everyone on the card and entertaining the fans and maybe starting a feud or two. All that matters ot me is that I can get my hands on those two rednecks who have my titles. The rest do not concern me.
Dol: What about your upcoming tag match with your daughter? Your two opponents will be in this match as well.
Poe: That is not lost on me.
Aa-T: That Bitchwhore Alexis is my concern, not his.
Sa-T: Yay! My nickname for her is catching on!
Dol: A'isha, this will be your first match in OOWF...
Aa-T: First and last. I did not sign a OOWF contract, I signed one of the open contracts Alexis was required to have, like most OOWF talent. I just took advantage of it.
Dol: So, are you nervous? Alexis is a trained wrestl...
Aa-T: I don't get nervous. I do not get scared. I just get ready. And she's gonna hurt. Bad.
Dol: She's gonna get hurt or she's gonna hurt you? I'm confused.
Aa-T: Of course you are, you dingbat.
A'isha looks to Poe.
Aa-T: How do you put up with these chicks?
Sa-T: I was one...for like a day before I quit and joined Poe.
Aa-T: Of course you were.
Poe: Dolores, I do believe we are finished here.
Poe points to her and the ninja cameraman to leave.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:32:42 GMT -5
*OOWF Cruise Hallways*
As Davin and Moreland are walking away from The Dead, they pass by Alexis Darling who is walking with a purpose.
Davin: We would like to know where you are going partner?
Alexis: I don't have time to deal with your brand of crazy right now, so I'll meet you in the cafeteria and you can go all batshit then.
Davin: We don't like your tone brotherfucker.
Alexis: That's nice. But as iI said, I don't have time right now. So be a good crazy person and get me a burger from Ric's.
Davin and Moreland walk away muttering something about we don't have to take this and that, while Alexis shakes her head and continues on her path. She picks up a steel chair that just so happens to be placed in the hallway and as she turns the corner she sees her target.
Alexis: Hey Dead!
The Dead turns around and Alexis tosses him the chair...
VAN DARLINGATOR
The Dead falls to the ground and Alexis takes a step back and hits a RUNNING SHOOTING STAR PRESS
Alexis: I am sick and tired of you attacking my allies. I was willing to let bygones be bygones with us Dead. But you've stepped over the line once too often now. Attack a member of Sanctum again and expect retribution.
---A few minutes later---
Alexis walks into Sanctum's locker room and walks right up to Chris Evans who is icing his jaw. She takes the ice bag and tosses it across the room. Evans gets up...
Evans: What the hell?
Alexis: I'm sick and tired of you being a bitch. What happened to the guy who stabbed my brother in the back? What happened to the guy who fought back against The Five? You've become a fucking shell Evans and I don't want to have to protect your ass again.
Evans: What the hell are you talking about? First Ecosystem goes off on a rant against me and then Dead attacks me unprovoked AGAIN.
Alexis: UNPROVOKED??? This is wrestling Evans. That happens and you can do one of two things. Take it like a bitch, which is how you've been acting. Or stand up for yourself and fight back. Because I am sick and tired of Sanctum sitting on their fucking hands and doing nothing while this company falls apart around us. If I didn't truly believe in what Ravenna wants to do, I'd be out of here. Believe me, what you and Crete have been, or should I say, haven't been doing is really making me think twice about my decision.
Evans: What do you want from Alexis?
Alexis: I want you to be the Chris Evans who first showed up in this company and was looked at to be one of the future stars of this company. I want you to be the Chris Evans that would stop at nothing to prove himself as one of the best in the world. I expect you to be the Chris Evans that when he gets attacked in the hallways or called out by hypocrites to fight back.
Evans: I'll keep that in mind.
Alexis: Good, because if the 4 of us in Sanctum, well 3, because Crete's a lost cause, ever got on the same page, we'd truly be a force in this company and we can do it the right way.
Alexis heads over the freezer and takes out another ice pack before tossing it to Evans.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to meet my psychotic partners for lunch.
*Fade*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:32:59 GMT -5
[The Dead slowly makes his way to his feet and tries to shake off the cobwebs.]
Dead: Damn, she had good form. That was almost as good as a Van Deadinator.
[Dead hears a dripping sound and looks down. A pool of blood is collecting on the floor. Dead touches his face and feels the gash the chair left.]
Dead: It's good to be back...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:33:19 GMT -5
<Davin is in the kitchen part of the ship muttering something about how they are not getting enough respect, and complaining about the lack of a good bologna for a sandwich when Moose walks into the kitchen. Neither man says a word, but Davin stands up slowly and turns to look at Moose. The tension hangs in the air for a few moments, then without a word, Davin lunges at Moose, and Moose charges at Davin, the two of them grab one another and HAMMER each other with punches to the face. There is something deeper at work here.
They fight through the swinging doors and into the lunchroom, guests scream and scatter. Davin grabs a pair of tongs and tries to jab Moose with them, but Moose grabs a handful of fondue forks and throws them at Davin, all of them miss, but the last one, which sticks into Davin’s thigh. Davin howls in pain, and Moose charges at him, but Davin catches Jack, elevates him and DIAMOND CUTS him through the salad bar!
Davin staggers for a moment, then grabs Moose by the hair and starts to pull him up, but Moose grabs a lobster tail and slaps him upside the head with it. More stunned than hurt, Davin staggers back a few steps and Moose gets to his feet and grabs a coconut and goes all Roddy Piper on him. Officials flood the room, then see who it is fighting and just shake their heads and leave
…….to be continued>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:33:38 GMT -5
Extreme Close-up on the OOWF logo. A slow pan out reveals the OOWF Interview Banner. The Texpress are seen with another Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist
RNSFJ: Zane, Chad You two have been quiet this week. Still pondering Tytan's words to close out last week's Midweek Mayhem?
Zane: No. Tytan said nothing of interest. We didn't "get away with one" The record might show we lost by disqualification, but We know, the fans know, the rest of the free world knows who introduced the chair to the ring. Wrath. So Tytan, save your self-righteous rambling for someone who might listen.
RNSFJ: Any thoughts on this weeks HUGE 12-person elimination match?
Chad: It will be nice working with Davin again (flashes the DLP sign). And his partner. And Alexis. Looking forward to spending lots and lots of intense training time with Ravenna Alot of mat work will probably be needed. Pinning predicaments, leglocks and such will need numerous repititions. But Pretty Ms. Blue, I vow to stay on that mat with you rolling around together over and over as long as it takes...
Zane: (cutting him off) Go take a cold shower. We're done here.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:33:57 GMT -5
*Moose heads to the buffet line and starts to dump all the pans filled with hot water on Davin, and you can see the blisters start to form. Moose, already sporting a crimson mask, deliberately heads back to what's left of the buffet, looking for shish kabob skewers. He grabs a handful, but eats a SPEAR~! for his trouble, as Davin sends Moose through the rubble.*
*Davin, doing the "shaking due to blood loss" thing, looks around for something to use. Moose sits up, and takes a GIANT PRIME RIB to the side of his head. That looked like it hurt and was yummy at the same time. Davin douses Moose with a pot of Hollandaise, causing Moose to howl with pain. Davin limps around the room, still with the fondue fork stuck in his leg. He faces away from Moose, and never sees Moose fire the carving knife at Davin. It catches Davin in the left hand, pinning it to the wall.*
*Moose smirks, and tries to get his bearings as Davin pulls the knife out of his hand. Moose charges, and Davin sidesteps him and Moose goes headfirst into the wall. Davin hits a SNAP GERMAN sending Moose into the pile of garbage that used to be the brunch buffet. Davin doesn't appear to be able to stand up anymore, and has to semi-crawl over to Moose. Moose is ready, and breaks a giant bottle of Tabasco over Davin's head.*
*Davin is screaming, searching for some dairy product for his eyes; but he's clearly got a concussion now. Moose, with a giant grin on his face, sees the end is near. He pulls Davin to his feet, looking for the RANHEI, but Davin is able to land an elbow and get out of it. Still virtually blind, Davin charges randomly. He SPEARS Moose, but both of them smash through doors for the service elevator. Unfortunately for them, the elevator isn't ON this floor, and they fall about 5 stories onto the top of the elevator, which is in motion...up*
(tbc)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:34:36 GMT -5
(Tytan is seen sitting down in the gym with SFJ. Wrath is seen in the background doing push-ups with some weight on his back.)
SFJ: Tytan you have been quiet this week, after your comments about having to tag in the elimination match with members of the Five. Do you care to follow up?
Tytan: It's simple. Stank and my old buddy Poe. I still hate the two of you, and to think I would even plan to wrestle a match on the same side as you would question my integrity and everything that I am trying to make Salvation represent.
SFJ: What you are trying to make int represent? I thought Eco was the leader of this group.
Tytan: Look Eco is on some strange quest to save Firewoman and then try to recruit people based on who he is and what he thinks this group is suppose to represent. I am going to do this a different way. I am going to do this by sending a message of results.
SFJ: By using a chair to get the Texpress DQd?
Tytan: Look you see Wrath back there?
(Camera pans back to see him still doing push-ups.)
SFJ: So?
Tytan: He hasn't stopped since I found out what really happened at Mayhem. (To Wrath) Isn't that right?
Wrath: Yes.....sir.
Tytan: Good. Now, you can take a fifteen minute break and then start again. You will learn discipline yet Wrath. Or I will kill you trying.
Wrath: Thank you sir, I understand.
Tytan: He is slowly learning. Now, Texpress anytime you want to continue this little battle of ours we our up for the challenge. Maybe the PPV? Think about it? Salvation is going to save you but you need to realize there is only one way and soon you will all understand what it is.
(Tytan then gets up and walks away.)
Tytan: (Talking on the phone) Athena....things are moving forward. I will need to have you here soon so the next phase will begin.
(FADE)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jan 3, 2011 13:34:56 GMT -5
*Dark camera. Nothing is seen. But we hear a dark, raspy voice...*
Voice: Some men want to rule the world.
Others want to watch it burn.
You've seen the movie, you know the quote. Rest assured, I am neither of those type of men. Instead, I'm the one to keep those rulers in place. I'm the one that puts out the fire.
*Lights on, and a man wearing a black suit, black mask with silver trim, and black shades appears.*
Man: My name is Mr. E, though that is none of your concern at this moment. You don't need to spend time remember my name - you'll remember it when I'm setting right what once went wrong here in the OOWF. You'll remember it when justice is served, no matter who the offender. You'll remember it when I'm making my mark among the OOWF.
*Mr. E takes a seat in a chair that's in the room.*
Mr. E: I've been around the world. I've wrestled the best the world has offered. I've been to Japan, to Mexico, to Puerto Rico, to Canada, and now I'm making my way to the top company in all the land. The OOWF. I know what I've done before means absolutely nothing. And I look forward to proving myself among the best.
When I look around, I see many names that are known around the world. The Darlings. Davin Moreland. Moosehead Jack. Stank. Poe. Firewoman. And so many more. I see great things and I see sickening things.
Make no mistake about it - if a man is without sin, let him throw the first stone. I sure as hell won't be throwing any stones. But at the same time, if any oen, including these famous names, do something that I don't like...it won't happen again.
You see, boys and girls, Mr. E has arrived to the OOWF. You want a fight? Bring it on. Want to brawl with me? I can handle it. And trust me when I say that if you can't handle Mr. E...you'll be unaware of how you ended up in hospital when you wake up.
I am Mr. E...and the mystery will soon be over.
*Mr. E snaps his fingers and the lights go out. Fade to black.*
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