|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:20:52 GMT -5
GM the Rick is seen posting next week's linup on the door when FF Capslock and Stank approach
FFC: So Rick, you got us that barbed wire handicap match we want?
GM the Rick <sighing aand shaking his head> Nope guys, it's not gonna happen
Stank: Dammit, we were ropped! Those 3Piece Set flunkies stole the titles from us! We want a rematch! We want blood, we want cages and barbed wire!
GMtR: Look, the same Canadian laws that apply to 3PS apply to you, I cannot sanction a barbed wire match, at least not in Canada. Look, we have an American stop on the Canadian tour on July 6th, you'll just have to wait until then, and there MIGHT be a loophole we can work on in a month or so in Canada, but I'm not promising anything
FFC: Damnit. Fine, so at least we get the three of them right?
GMtR: Nope. Firechild has a contractual obligation already, you get 3Piece Set. But, other than barbed wire, you can have anykind of rematch against them that you want, street fight, falls count anywhere, no DQ, you just let me know and I will book it.
<GM the Rick posts the lineup>
OOWF World Title Match [/u] Niles Anderson vs. UnderDawg
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match [/u] Blackdragon vs. LD Williams
OOWF Tag Team Team Title Match - TLC Match[/u] 3Piece Set vs. FF Capslock & Stank
Onslaught Championship Match [/u] Firechild vs. Capellan
Outback Jack & GatorBait (w/Wally B. King) vs. Moosehead Jack & Concrete TG Donovan Viper vs. Mark Vander Beast vs. Hardbody Harris Attitude Adjuster vs. SoulDragon (w/Random Appearance Guy) Canadian Dragon vs. Microplay Thim Reynolds vs. GimmickMan Seraph vs. Uncle Entity (w/Jesse Garon) Johnny Adrenaline vs. Mr. Jealous Semaj B vs. Chris Alt Morte vs. Corax The Devil's Brigade vs. Tommy Wilder & JW Westgaard Revolution XX vs. Endo & Mercury
Card subject to change, don't make me change it! Don't do it, I'm warning ya!
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:21:19 GMT -5
SFJ#86 found Capellan in a bar with Wilder and Westgaard.
"With next week's matches announced, you're in a one-on-one Onslaught Title match with Firechild." She addressed the San Francisco Sensation, "Do you have any comments about the bout?"
Capellan put down his frosty cold beer,
"Comments? I've got more than comments: I can tell you the result."
Wilder looked shocked,
"Dude: Ixnay on the akingbray ayfabekay."
Capellan waved the caution aside.
"The result of the match is this: I will lose on a count out."
"A count out?" SFJ#86 looked confused. Moreso than usual.
"A count out." Capellan confirmed, "The Onslaught Belt's supposed to mean something. It's supposed to be about sportsmanship. It's supposed to be about going out there every week and defending what you've earned. This so-called Firebird Clause makes a mockery of the whole division. If Firechild has a pair, he'll permanently sign away that clause and agree to defend this title the way it was meant to be defended. But he doesn't, and he won't."
SFJ#86 gave a little lip-quiver,
"But what about the fans?" she demanded, "People will buy tickets expecting to see you fight Firechild! How can you betray them like that?"
Capellan snorted,
"Toots, I never said I wasn't going to fight Firechild. I am, and I'm going fight with every ounce of my strength and my passion. I will put Firechild - or whichever of his friends he sends in his place - flat on his back in the middle of the ring. And when everyone sees that I've beaten him, I'll walk out of the ring and be counted out. Because he's a mock champion with a mock title, and next week, everyone in the audience will know it."
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:21:42 GMT -5
Wilder: well put my friend.....as far as The Devil's Brigade is concerned, you guys wanna scrap again? me and JW are ready to take it to the extreme!
Cap: hell yeah man.
JW: Camby, O'Neil....we know you're a little peeved about last week, well shit like that happens when you don't take your opponents very seriously....maybe you guys should spend more time worrying about yourselves than Viper and his exploits to prove he's not batting lead off for the pink team! <no that there's anything wrong with that>
Capellan: OH DAMN
Wilder: BURN!!!!!!
SFJ# 86: well thats it for me guys i'm outta here:
with the intereveiw over we see Tommy wilder get up and head out of the Bar to a cab No sooner does he open the back door to get in than Tommy O'Neil nails him with a wicked left hook, dropping wilder faster than 3rd period french.
O'neil begins laughing as he picks Wilder up and sets him up for the hangover.
TO: ha, ya fekkin wanka. YA wantsts see extreme shite, me friend well here ya goo!
Tommy then connects with the Hangover on the concrete.
TO: wha dontya try an pool dat cheap rollup shite wit me agin <in a realy bad cali surfer accent> See ya in the ring DUDE!
O'Neil takes off in a car as Westgaard and Capellan come bolting out the door, finding wilder in a heap on the ground.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:22:01 GMT -5
(Uncle Entity is looking over next week's line-up)
UE: Seraph! I've been secretly wanting to pummel that little shit since we joined the fed roughly at the same time. While I was stuck with that dork Mercury playing Ragged Sex Criminals or whatever, this holy ghost was ripping it up in the singles ranks.
Jesse Garon: (In Elvish) Uh-huh.
UE: Bible thumper eh? I've dealt with these types down in the Savannah territories, real weirdos. This one here has his fair share of enemies as well. I hope he realizes I have a submission finisher called "The Crucifix." Behold a pale horse you Benny Henn wanna-be! He he he he he...
JG: How great thou art...
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:22:29 GMT -5
***Outback Jack and GatorBait are SITTING and SURFING the web while Wally is off in the corner making some calls*** GB: Hey, Jack! Check this out! OBJ: More bestial bukakke, Gator? GB: No, man... when I get bored, I like to go to babelfish.altavista.com... put something in... translate it to Japanese... then re-translate it back to English and let the hillarity ensue! OBJ: So what did you translate today, mate? The transcript from "Striptease"? GB: No, I was fishing around the OOWF Forums and decided to translate the transcript from our match this week! OBJ: Oh Boy... ***on the screen*** Jack and GATORBAIT of hinterland (king w/Wally B.) When, the jack and concrete TG behavior of opposite MOOSEHEAD meet, 2nd 4 human everyone the ring being middle, start exchanging shock the bell ring it starts simultaneously. Ref does order finally as before several minutes later of brawling of ring entrance and exit. It destroys match in the standard match of several parts of the both team which which uses even unexpectedly clean match struggles. Until that MHJ pulls GatorBait from the ring and pulls out, takes quarrel outside it is. Directly as for 4 human everyone once more around the ring it is outside the brawling ring. To Finland the rise of the concrete and the Outback jack the table and the slug that it announces. The concrete jumps because of the magical errand which shines, when the jack avoids movement, the concrete comes returning around the jack, him of the surface of the cross of flight of the clamp, and kind, how both jack doing that arm simultaneously, those which are collided to the floor which tightens the surface of the cross through the table you drop. On opposite side, in order to do that for the second time in the skull of Gator the chair, it strikes the jack with one time open hand which then lines up, but it moves Gator, the jack it hits to the extent of the Russian the side foot in the stairway which tears the head of the clamp, and the jack which was opened. As for 4 human everyone, there is the start 10 calculation of ref. How, doing, as for MHJ it becomes alternately the blood which can cloud the ring and that range of vision. The American elk where OBJ and Gator enter, opposite side of the ring use the call of wildness is killed! To undertake the decrease of the elbow of flight from the upper rope in order Gator collapses in the mat, to divide calculation, it crawled OBJ to MHJ which has tendency, the cover, the concrete recovered 1 and 2, sufficiently how doing it makes. 4 human everyone have met to the ring. As for Gator first there are that feet; He pulls the concrete in that feet, kicks him of the central part, and tries because of CHOMP! How doing, collision Gator with the concrete work free that method and the cement mixer! There is Gator! The concrete makes the cover, but immediately before ref hits to 3, there is a Outback jack which retains in the back section of the head of the concrete which this time drops the revolution knee. The Outback jack pulls the concrete in that feet, sees in order to go because of the surface of the cross. The Moosehead jack returns to that feet finally, the jack which has the forearm in the back section of the head nails. As for OBJ under jaw him lurches of right of front and concrete paste extreme kicking. OBJ becomes alternately the rear, MHJ catches him, in the back section braker of the shelf of agony, increases him of DVD of of opposite then you drop immediately high. MHJ tries the cover, but it has been broken by Gator. Because as for ref he guards GatorBait finally from the ring, him of clothesline of the short arm where the MHJ choosing, OBJ is dropped the fact that order of the ring is done as before is tried. In that shoulder, MHJ you put in place the jack with the concrete which rises to the upper rope, it moves to the corner, it is attached, when he goes, simultaneously the concrete the braker of the neck of flight of everyone falling and CTG collision OBJ flies through OBJ from the upper head of OBJ of the rope and grab separated. If is this, it becomes. The cover 1,2 my GAWD Outback jack kicked at 2 o'clock! Concrete and OBJ are both to the feet, the rope the limit of the concrete which leaves and jump to the shoulder of OBJ for forward victory roll, the shock where the rope in regard to falling and concreteness of front OBJ is hot. There is Crete. OBJ makes the bill, the large knee where Gator enters, is exposed to the rope, and crosses the box of the concrete is dropped. The cover has been broken at 2 o'clock by Moose. As for the Outback jack there is a ring, he in addition to the fact that clothesline has been attached, takes the American elk and him himself in the rope. As for the jack there is a both floor. In concrete and Gator the punch, Gator profit and the knee suplex length, the inserting which goes because of the concrete, it lands to that, in the central part, turns, and tries Gator because of the post damper you have exchanged. As for the concrete it cannot obtain Gator,; Gator stands in the mat of Alabama slam eagerly closes from movement, CTG sufficiently. The head of the concrete leaps eagerly from the mat separated, that eye rolls to that head. MHJ looks at this, escaping to the eye of the jack goes. Gator chooses the concrete which will be made to be stunning, hits to CHOMP! The judge begins calculation, MHJ tries the fact that it enters into the ring, but that feet ref which is grasped because he from retention is maintained calculates 3 with last 2nd OBJ, first match goes to inland jack and GatorBait. 39:47 Outback jacks and the winner of GatorBait ***Wally looks over GB's shoulder*** WBK: Ah! Inland Jack! He's a GREAT tipper! ***fade to black***
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:22:50 GMT -5
OBJ: Aha!
GB: The band that sang "Take Me On", right?
OBJ: No, aha, as in I figured something out. They had American Elk helping them. Must be MHJ's identical twin brother.
GB: Damn!
WBK: Let's go for a drink and I'll explain it to you.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:23:15 GMT -5
*Camera shows Fievel standing beside SFJ#33 watching a monitor showing highlights of OOWF MidWeek Mayhem! 06-15, Live! From Londonderry, Nova Scotia.*
F: "Oh my gosh!!! Did you see that! Mr. Dragon beat 4 guys in one night!"
SFJ#33: "Ummm...yeah I guess. So do you think Hardbody is seeing anybody?"
F: "I sure hope so! I'd hate for Hardbody to have problems seeing people, it make it oh so hard for him to wrestle."
SFJ#33: "Right...do you think he likes me?"
F: "Oh Hardbody is your friend and mine he's the best!!! Look! There's the clip of Niles tapping out to the Dragon Sleeper! Do you think Dragon could beat that mean Mr. Anderson?"
SFJ#33: "I guess...but shouldn't Hardbody be around here?"
F: "I think he is in the shower."
*Hearing that SFJ#33 goes running towards Hardbody's locker room. As Fievel continues to rewind and rewatch the clip of Niles tapping out he doesn't notice Niles and AA coming up behind him.*
F: "You tapped out! You tapped out!"
NA: "You know AA, I think it's time to teach Fievel here a little respect!"
*Just then Niles and AA are spun around be Hardbody and Canadian Dragon. Dragon nails Niles with a dragonkick while Hardbody hits the TO BE EDITED IN LATER~!!! on AA.*
CD: "Respect that!"
F: "Yeah! Respect that you big meanie!"
HH: "Yeah, we really need to work on your trash talk fievel."
*As Hardbody and Fievel leave Dragon looks at the monitor which is currently displaying the clip of him holding the OOWF title. Dragon smiles as the camera fades to black.*
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:23:34 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams walks up to Johnny Adrenaline as he’s reading the lineup.**
LD: “That’s quite the match you’ve got lined up next week. I can’t wait to see that one.”
**Johnny turns to glare at L.D.**
LD: “I mean, it’s gotta be a first.”
JA: “Pay attention much? It’s the rookie’s second match. He wrestled last week.”
**L.D. looks perplexed**
LD: “Rookie…Oh! Geez, I thought The Rick had booked you to wrestle yourself! My mistake.”
**Johnny stares a hole through L.D. as he walks away**
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:23:57 GMT -5
The camera follows Underdawg as he walks into Canadian Dragon's locker room. Dragon is watching himself hold up the OOWF title.
UD: You miss that don't you?
CD: Wha? Whoa. Underdawg! Don't sneak up behind me like that! Yeah, I miss holding the belt. I only had it for 4 days. And in those 4 days, I didn't even hold it. I left it in my safe.
UD: You may recall, I was the one who got you to take it out of the safe.
CD: You did.
UD: I'm once again impressed by you, Dragon. First, by taking my Ultimate Hell challenge, and by taking me to the limit, and now beating world champion Niles Anderson yesterday, in your homeland. And standing triumphantly with that belt. You deserve to fight him for the title. And you deserve to beat him for the title.
CD: Thanks. That means a lot to me coming from you. However, you're facing him next week for the championship gold, not me.
UD: If I win, you know I'll be more than happy to offer you a title shot.
CD: Kick each other's asses to death once again? I'd love to!
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:24:31 GMT -5
(MHJ walks into the abandoned gym, where CTG is once again rummaging through tapes)
MHJ: More "Training", 'crete?
CTG: (startled) I'm trying to find one of my IWA tapes - I have one that even you would appreciate
MHJ: is it as good as those FMW ones you had last week?
CTG: (drops into character) the basis of our research is to learn how to deal with foes of such hardcore caliber. Without this information, we will remain at a disadvantage.
MHJ: Look 'crete, all the videos in the world aren't helping us win against OBJ and Gator. And their new manager is going to be an even bigger pain in the ass. We need ideas, and we need them soon.
CTG: perhaps we should recruit a proper.... Super Hero In Training, as you have refused the post
MHJ: (sighs) I've told you I'm not wearing that stupid outfit.
CTG: and your recent suggestion of LD Williams is out of the question. Would Batman work with the Joker AND the Riddler at the same time? I think not!
MHJ: ........
CTG: (rummagerummage) HOLY HENTAI! How did I get more of Viper's videos in here?
MHJ: (not sure he wants to know)
CTG: (tosses a batch of tapes in a bag) this area MUST be cleansed! (rummage) ah! This is what I'm looking for.
MHJ: (Crosses arms) "Sailor Moon"?
CTG: (holds up one tape) "Fist of the North Star" (holds up the other tape) "King of the Deathmatch"
MHJ: (smirks)
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:24:54 GMT -5
*SFJ# whothehellcares spots Corax walking down the back hall of the arena and somehow manages to corner him for an interview*
SFJ#WTHC - Corax! Corax! Can I ask you a few questions!
*Corax emotes through is mask that he is willing but rather uninterested*
SFJ#WTHC - Corax! People want to know what is going on with you. They want to know why you turned your back on Hellion! They want to know where you intend to go fr
*Corax puts his finger to SFJ#WTHC's lips and shhhh's her*
Corax - People want to know? People give a damn what I have to say? People care 2 licks about what Corax thinks? About what Corax is going to do next? Bullshit. People could not care less about what happens to me. About what I do. About where I go. They haven't given a damn about me since Hellion lost us our belts.
Thats right, I said it. Everyone knew it, but I said it. Hellion, you were the weak link in the Ministry. You were the weak link in our team! I carried us to victory time after time after time! And when we lost, who's shoulders were on the mat? Yours. You know I'm right on this. Well I am SICK & TIRED of letting you hold me back! I am not going to allow it ANYMORE! I proved that when I turned you to mush inside of that steel cage. As far as I am concerened, you are nothing. You have no heart. You do not have what it takes to meet me at my level!
Donovan Viper. (Crowd Boos) Donavan Viper is a man's man. He is a man who knows what another man needs. He is a man who was ALWAYS there for me when I needed someone. He was always right at my side, or right behind my back, ready to stick it to whoever got in my way. He was there for me in ways that you and Dawg never were! THAT is why I ditched you for the Devil's Brigade. I am going solo and I need to surround myself with associates that aren't going to pussy out on me like you and Underdawg did. Have a nice life.
SFJ#WTHC - So where do you go now?
Corax - Where do I go now... Well it seems that our current intercontinental champion is none other than Black Dragon. Black Dragon is a helluva compeditor. He gives 110% every time he is in an OOWF ring. He's the innovator of offence, he's the Showstoppa! BD 3:16 says "I just blew smoke up your ass!"
But you know what? I've beaten him. Repeatedly. And I will do it again. I have Morte in my next match but rest assured, he is just a stumbling block. I have learned some things in the time I have spent in the OOWF. One of those is that no gold equals no glory.
*camera zooms in tight on Corax's face so that his eyes can be seen through his mask*
*whispers*
So get ready Black Dragon, cause I'm comming...
*Camera zooms out to a two-shot. Corax pie-faces SFJ#WTHC to the floor and walks off*
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:25:19 GMT -5
The lights dim. Some Kind of Monster plays over the speakers, lights flicker PYRO! and FF Capslock and Stank walk out to the ring to a loud pop from the crowd! Stank grabs a mic.
Stank - ... I'm not going to come out here and bitch... The fact is we WILL be Tag Team Champions again. (Crowd appaluds) 3 Piece Set, we now know what lengths you'll go to keep those titles. Now you will find out what we'll do to get them back!
Stank hands FFC the mic.
Crowd - Watch your ass! Watch your ass!Watch your ass! Watch your ass!
FF Capslock - The GM has given us any match we want so long as it's not your coveted barbed wire match. So we've given it some thought. At first, I suggested a first blood match.
Crowd - YAAY!
FF Capslock - But!... We don't want just your blood. So then Stank suggested an ambulance match in homage to the little trick you pulled.
Crowd - Yaay??
FF Capslock - But!... That just didn't seem to be enough. Afterall our next match will see you going to the hospital anyway so an ambulance is academic.
Crowd - YAAAY!!
FFC hands Stank the mic.
Stank - So now I want to talk about bloodshed. I want to talk about brutality. I want to talk about CARNAGE!
Crowd - FEAR IT! SMELL IT! clap clap clap clap clap! FEAR IT! SMELL IT! clap clap clap clap clap
Stank waits for the chant to die down
Stank - So clearly given the desires of FFC and myself, no ordinary match will do. So we put our heads together and came up with a solution. We decided... that our next match should maximize the violence, should enhance the pain, should bruise the flesh, and free your ice cold blood from it's supple shell.
Mic back to Capslock
FF Capslock - And you know what? Only 3 letters can embody what we've been talking about. ONLY THREE letters can show you what we mean. ONLY THREE letters can FULLFILL our wishes!!
.....
FFC & Stank - T... L... C...
Crowd - YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!!!! WE WANT TABLES clap clap clap clap clap! WE WANT TABLES clap clap clap clap clap! WE WANT TABLES clap clap clap clap clap! WE WANT TABLES clap clap clap clap clap!
FFC drops the mic, Some kind of Monster plays, Stank looks directly into the camera mouthing - Ax... Cole... You are dead Meat - FFC makes the international sign for we want the belts, then he and Stank exit to cheers from the crowd.
Ross - BAH GAWD! A TLC Match at next week's Mayhem! Wow! I think the tag champs are in trouble.
Razz - I don't know Ross. How will the big men climb the ladders for the gold?
Ross - I don't know. I suppose they'll have to use reinforced ladders.
Razz - I suppose so... anyway, this broadcast is brought to you by Hot Lesbian Ass Eating starring Briana Banks and Devon - no relation to Dudley.
Ross - And by Splenda - Fake ass sweetness for your fake ass.
Razz - I don't think Goldberg could have said it any better.
ads
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:25:41 GMT -5
......ommy......Yo Wilde.....yo..ther?.....
<Wilder is back in the bar, starting to come to from O'Neill's Hangover>
JWW - Here Tommy, drink this - <Hands him a beer>
Cap - You OK Bro? That was brutal!
<SFJ #86 rushes back into the bar, having caught the end of the attack>
SFJ86 - Tommy, any response to what just happened out there?
JWW - Want to give the kid a minute to get his head clear sister?
Cap - Seriously, give the guy some air!
Wilder - No man, it's cool. I'm OK - little road rash on the grill <wipes blood from his lip> - I'll live. No need for you two to go all Donnie Viper on me - <Laughs>
<Wilder looks into the camera with a "yep I'm crazy" expression, but still smiling >
OK O'Neill - Glad to see JW and I got you and Camby's attention. You guys didn't have your heads in the game last week, and you two wiped out on the deck - and YOU got pinned by the rookie!
Hey man, you could have sucked it up, played it straight and come at me next week, but that ain't your style, huh poser? You jumped me, cause you didn't like me beating you with a roll up?
Cheap, man. Pure bush, flatland crap.
But that's cool. Cause it don't change a thing, Lucky Charms.
JW and me? We've been a team TWO WEEKS. We're still hashin out some stuff in the ring - and we STILL beat you!
What's that say? Maybe you guys aren't as good as you think, without Viper being your "backdoor man".
Or, maybe WE are good enough.... or maybe better than anyone thinks.
Next week, you get to see it again, first hand. We don't HAVE to jump you in the parking lot, or get a posse to jump one guy - we'll let our skills do the talking in the ring.
We're not gonna get "extreme", you Mickey Rooney wanna-be. Extreme is putting your body on the line - every one in the OOWF is extreme - even you.
I gonna to go farther than that, bro. Right over the edge of reason, breakin the laws of gravity and one step beyond. And JW and I going take you and Camby along for the ride....
You'll never see it coimin - might be Nitro, might be Thunder. But when the crowd is screaming "Holy Shit!" at the top of their lungs, you won't get beat by a roll up - you'll be flat on your back.
O'Neil - you best get ready. Tape up real good, give Camby a goodbye kiss, cause this ride is gonna get REAL FAST.
Buckle up, Bro. It's gonna be a Wild Ride...
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:26:00 GMT -5
3PS are watching Stank & FFC promo on a monitor.
Ax: Aw hell no. A TLC match.
FC: Not good.
Cole: Relax, it'll be fine
Ax: Like hell, if one of those porkers jumps off the ladder onto one of us we are done for.
Cole: We'll just have to stop themn from climbing. Come on they're 800 lbs each we should be move before they reach the third rung.
Ax: (laughing) I guess so.
Cole: And, a TLC match is just what we need. Firechild can legally make sure nobody interferes with the match.
FC: Can do.
Ax: I'm starting to see where this is headed. I'm cool with the TLC.
Cole: I knew you would be.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:26:26 GMT -5
<MHJ is seen walking through the back, he gets to the TFDU door and walks right in, Jack and Gator jump to their feet ready for a fight>
GB: Damnit Moose don't you ever knock?
OBJ: What the hell do you want?
MHJ: Gentlemen, I'm not here for a fight. I know it's not like me to say this, but that was a helluva match out there. Seem like you guys bring out the best in me and Crete. Anyway, enough of this mushy crap. I have a proposition for you guys.
<Wally's eyes light up at the thought of a proposition>
GB: Ok, we're listening.
MHJ: Ok, after me and Concrete tie this series up....
OBJ: IF
MHJ: Whatever. When we tie it up and go to the final match at the PPV, let's do something the OOWF hasn't seen before. I know barbed wire cage matches are out, but keep in mind, if it is under 1000 meters or whatever it is allowed. I have seen your stuff from Japan, I know you guys are as sick as I am. Come up with something good.
GB: What about Concrete?
MHJ: Don't worry about him, leave that to me, Concrete enjoys carnage more than he will admit.
GB: Ok, we'll get back to you IF you win next week.
MHJ: Fair enough. Oh, Wally, we need to talk business for a moment.
WBK: Excuse me boys.
<Jack and Wally leave>
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:26:49 GMT -5
OBJ leans out the locker room door, shouts down the hall: And tell your twin brother that if he shows up again I'll do a helluva lot more than attach the clothesline! I'll tighten the surface of the cross of flight of the clamp on him!
GB: Then I'll kick him in the central part and try of CHOMP!
*MHJ and WBK continue down the hall, MHJ looking very confused*
WBK: Sometimes the Internet confuses Outback. *Hands MHJ a piece of paper*
"Loss: Completely, as for that rather than those having before, there is the American elk and a jack which were seen greatly carefully. That was not sufficient still experience of jack and Gator is overcome; It is correct to those problem next year weeks which can do them you think? Razz: Problem loss, as for the jack and the concrete the veterinarian who acquires the taste 2, them it is not the modification which has the necessity to do with the heart which perhaps already it has."
MHJ: I've been around Concrete so much that this actually makes sense.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:27:13 GMT -5
<MHJ and Wally continue their stroll down the hall>
WBK: Ok what can I do for you Jack
MHJ: Ok, I need a relaxation technician....
WBK: Well, when? I mean getting them from Thailand takes time, and there's customs, and greasing palms, and....
MHJ: No, no, no not for me. For someone else.
WBK: ok, who?
MHJ: Don't worry about that. I need a girl who is not slutty at all, kinda wholesome and virtuous and stuff. Believes in good stuff and all that.
WBK: I got just the person for that, she works at a collectibles place during the day, think that'll work?
MHJ: That sounds perfect. Still the same rate?
WBK: What time do you want her to come by?
MHJ: As soon as you can, tell her to look for me.
<Jack and Wally shake hands and part ways, Jack has a shit eating grin on his face>
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:27:36 GMT -5
[Revolution XX has just seen who they will be fighting at the Midweek Mayhem. Eric is excited but Carl looks like he doesn't care.]
O'Mac: "Whats the matter Carl baby! We get to fight those punks again! Another win under our belt."
[Carl acts hesitant to speak but finally says something.]
Carl: "I'm done Eric."
Eric: "What ya mean done?"
Carl: "I mean i'm done with OOWF. I'm done with wrestling."
Eric: "Huh? What are you talking about. Stop acting stupid. We have tag gold to win!"
Carl: "Eric when I joined OOWF I came in looking to win singles gold. Immediately I got put in a tag team. I never even got a chance to shine as a singles competitor. I watched as Chris Alt got to become a singles star while leaving me in the dust. Sure it's been a blast teaming with you and I wouldn't trade it for anything but i'm just tired of it all. I need to leave. I need to rediscover myself. Sorry to leave ya hanging like this bud. Good luck tonight in the match."
[Carl Coolname heads off to the locker room with Eric O'Mac following.]
Eric: "Come on man don't be so dumb. Think about it, we were so close to winning the tag gold not to long ago. Don't quit on this team now!"
[Carl grabs his gear and goes to the parking lot with O'Mac still trying to persuade him to stop. Carl stops at his car and turns to Eric.]
Carl: "Eric I truly am sorry. Good luck my friend. You will do well as a singles star. It worked for Alt so it will work for you."
[Carl gets into the car as O'Mac just stands their in bewilderment at what has just happened. Carl backs out waves to Eric then leaves the parking garage.]
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:28:43 GMT -5
<Later that evening MHJ is waiting outside the arena when a stretch subaru outback pulls up, Wally B. King steps out accompanied by a lovely young lady>
WBK: Jack this is Holly, Holly Moosehead Jack. <Holly recoils in fear at JAck, Jack just smirks>
MHJ: Looks like my reputation preceedes me. How's it going Holly, don't worry, you aren't here for me.
<Holly hasa visible sign of relief on her face>
MHJ: Ok Wally, we all square?
WBK: Yup.
MHJ: Good, be sure those boys of yours are ready for this week's action.
WBK: Oh, they'll be ready, they have some...relaxation technicians of their own waiting for them. <With this Wally gets back in the stretch subaru outback and drives off>
MHJ: Ok, Holly, there's someone I want you to meet. < Jack leads Holly through the arena until they get to Concrete's room, of course Jack doesn't knock, he just walks in, inside Concrete is deeply absorbed in some Sailor Moon or somesuch anime.>
CTG: HOLY NOT KNOCKING MOOSE! I WAS DOING.....errr hello?
MHJ: Concrete, this is Holly, she is a...relaxation technician, it's sort of a peace offering, and something to help you relax a bit. She works in a collectables place, so you two should have something in common, I suppose.
CTG: Holy Hotness!
Holly: Cool! Sailor Moon! I have the entire series on DVD!
MHJ: Enjoy
<Jack leaves the room, Concrete is speechless>
MHJ:
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:29:09 GMT -5
[Eric O'Mac is walking backstage, obviously looking for somebody. He peeks in a locker room and bolts in quickly.]
EOM: Man, I've been looking everywhere for you.
[Camera pans around to show Johnny Adrenaline, practicing his golf game on a mini-putting green.]
JA: What's up?
EOM: Man, Carl just walked out. Went up and quit.
JA: Quit Revolution XX?
EOM: No, quit the company.
JA: Damn...
EOM: Yeah, and now I'm looking at a handicap match. I was wondering if you would help me out.
JA: [sigh] Eric. I love you, man. But I've got my own issues to deal with right now. I've got L.D. on my case, I got some business deals to finalize, and I've gotta get back that Intercontinental Title...
EOM: Johnny, don't mean to cut you off, but uh... I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! I've been doin my thing here for months, busting my ass, putting out quality match after quality match, and let me remind you, son, if it wasn't for me whacking Concrete with a six iron back in February, you would've never gotten that title back at all.
JA: First off, I know it's Father's Day weekend, but I ain't your son. And secondly, I would've won my title back eventually, just like I will again. And thirdly, it was a THREE iron!
EOM: Some friend you are.
[Eric walks off pissed off and Johnny just chuckles and goes back to his putting.]
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:29:36 GMT -5
<posting on GM the Rick's door>
WANTED
Another tag team to fill the vacancy left by the departure of Carl Coolname and the resulting split of Revolution XX. Team can be either face or heel.
Also, looking for a permanent team to fill the resulting void in the tag division. Can also be face or heel, must be willing to work barbed wire cage matches and anything else we can think of. If interested, please contact me.
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:30:27 GMT -5
<We see Eric O'MAc walking down the hallway, still looking pissed over Johnny's comments. As Eric rounds a corner Moosehead Jack is standing there>
EOM: Hey Moose
MHJ: Sup Eric.
EOM: Can you believe that shit? Carl just up an walking out on me like that? Damn! Then that arrogant prick Johnny acting like he doesn't even give a damn.
MHJ: WEll Johnny IS an arrogant prick, you expected something else?
EOM: Well, yeah I did, he and Williams recruited me and Carl, Williams hasa title shot this week, so I can understand that he wants to focus on that, but Johnny has Mr. freakin Jealous, a rookie, and he can't pull double duty and team with me. What an ass.
MHJ: Yeah, especially after you helped him win the title. Look Eric, you and Carl ran with Johnny and Williams, who ran with the Establishment, so I consider you one of us. I have a proposition for you, well, actually it was Concrete's idea, but for once we agree on something. At this week's Midweek Mayhem, unless you find a partner between now and then, it'll be me, you and Concrete against Endo, Morte and Mercury.
EOM: No shit? Endo and Morte back for a night? Sounds like fun, is GM the Rick cool with it?
MHJ: he will be, don't worry about him.
EOM: Ok, tell Crete I owe him one too.
MHJ: Oh, hey Eric, just don't forget who had your back, you know, just in case it ever comes up.
EOM: I won't. Trust me.
<fade out>
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:31:11 GMT -5
[Johnny Adrenaline comes strolling down the hall pulling his golf bag. He stops by The Rick's office and takes a look at the posted tag team poster. He starts reading it to himself...] JA: Face or heel? Is The Rick breaking kayfabe now? What the hell?
JA: Hey man, you find a partner?
EOM: What's it to you?
JA: Well, I mean, I can't do it. But I don't wanna see you left out to dry or nothin.
EOM: The match got changed to a six man tag. That's why I was in there.
JA: Oh...
EOM: Yeah, I got a couple of partners now. Two guys who've kicked their fair shit out of you in their day.
[Moose and Concrete step out of the office behind Eric.]
JA: [obviously shaken, but tries to play it off] Oh... well, uh... good job, man. I'm sure, uh... ya'll will be fine. Yeah...
MHJ: Shut the hell up, Johnny.
[EOM, MHJ, and CTG all walk away, leaving Johnny a little rattled. Johnny turns back to the poster on Rick's door when Hurricrete pops back in the frame.]
CTG: BEE-YOTCH!
[CTG whooshes away and Johnny curses under his breath.]
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:31:33 GMT -5
FF Capslock and Stank appraoch the Rick's door. They see Johnny Adrenaline walking away visibly shaken.
Stank - What's up with him?
FFC - (looking at the note on the door) Well will you look at this... Coolname quit.
Stank - Geez. I hope it didn't have anything to do with that bug incident a while back.
FFC - heh, heh, I thought that was pretty cool.
Stank - I guess the Revolution will NOT be televised... HA!
FFC - Wha?
Stank - It's a black thing. Don't worry about it. Let's go in.
The lights dim. Some Kind of Monster plays through the boombox Stank is carrying, the lights flicker because FF Capslock is flipping the light switch on and off rapidly then PYRO! as Stank flicks on a cigarette lighter and FF Capslock and Stank walk into the Rick's office with a loud pop from Rick's opening a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
GMtR - What... the... hell?
Stank turns down the volume and puts away the lighter.
Stank - Sup Rick?
GMtR - Stank. What do you guys wa... goddammit Capslock! Would you PLEASE STOP FLIPPING THE LIGHTS!!
FFC pouts then walks away from the light switch the only source of illumination coming from the glow of the Rick's television monitor.
GMtR - (looking impatient) Now... If you would be so kind as to turn the lights back on.
FFC - Sorry Rick (FFC complies)
GMtR - Now, what can I do for you gentleman.
FFC - Gentleman? HA! Good one Rick... anyway, We have a request for our TLC match... you got any more of that beer?
GMtR - No. What's your request?
Stank - We want you to ban Flameboy from ringside.
GMtR - I'll consider it, but a question. And understand when I ask this I'm only asking because when I took this job I promised myself I wouldn't put up with any WWE like, logic defying half-assery. Why would you want Firechild banned from ringside when earlier you two asked to have all three members of 3-Piece Set in a match?
Stank and FFC consider this for a bit.
GMtR - Ha! Didn't really think this through, did you?
Stank - ... ... ... your momma.
GMtR - Yours.
Stank - Your momma's teeth are so yellow she spits butter.
GMtR - Your momma's so poor she goes to KFC to lick other peoples fingers.
Stank - Your momma's so BALD when she takes a shower she's being brainwashed.
GMtR - Your momma's so BIG she speaks in surround sound.
FFC - That's true actually. I met her...
Stank - Your momma's SO CLUMSY she got tangled up in a CORDLESS PHONE!
GMtR - Your momma's SO OLD that when she went to SCHOOL there was no HISTORY CLASS!
FFC - Guys c'mon quit it.
Stank - YOUR MOMMA'S so OLD her BIRTH CERTIFICATE EXPIRED!
FFC - Uh, guys?
GMtR - YOUR MOMMA'S so STUPID she SOLD HER CAR for GAS MONEY!
Stank - YOUR MOMMA'S SO STUPID SHE TOOK A RULER TO BED TO SEE HOW LONG SHE SLEPT!
FFC - HEY! YO! GUYS! THAT'S ENOUGH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
Stank and the Rick just glare at each other.
FFC - Now if we can get back to the business AT HAND, the reason we want Firechild banned is simple. Since he is contractually obligated to not be officially in our match, we want no more surprises. If he can't be in the match, then ban him.
GMtR - I guess I can see the reasoning behind that. I'll consider it.
Stank - Thanks... your momma's so...
FCC - Stank please.
Stank turns up the volume of his boombox. Some Kind of Monster blares out. He and FFC leave the Rick's office as Rick finishes his beer.
camera fades
|
|
|
Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 8, 2008 9:32:19 GMT -5
**An indeterminate Sexy Female Journalist approaches L.D. Williams.**
SFJ: “L.D., you have a match this week for Blackdragon’s Intercontinental Title. You’ve had two previous shots, and Blackdragon’s managed to defeat you. Do you think the tide will turn this week?”
**Williams does a double take**
LD: “That’s a lot of words. Did you have help with that?”
SFJ: “…”
LD: “That’s what I thought. As far as Bleckdragon goes, I gotta give credit where it’s due. The man can get it done in the ring. He actually defends the title. I wasn’t ready for that given the last guy who held the belt.”
SFJ: “I assume you’ve seen the announcement regarding Revolution XX. You’re close to both Eric and Carl. Do you have any comment?”
LD: “I haven’t had a chance to talk to Carl. I don’t know where his head is’at. Eric and I talked for a minute. If he needs me to back him up, all he has to do is ask. By the sounds of it though, he’s in good hands.”
SFJ: “A lot of people were wondering if you’d be joining Moosehead Jack and Concrete TG.”
LD: “Well, Concrete doesn’t like me much. Not sure why. All I did was make him tap once or twice. It’s just as well. I’ve seen that ‘Superhero In Training’ costume. Concrete’d be eating it before I’d be wearing it.”
SFJ: “Eric went to Johnny Adrenaline for help, and Johnny refused because he had his situation with you on his mind. Your comments?”
LD: “Well, Johnny is…Johnny…I didn’t know ‘prick’ could be spelt with six letters. I really can’t say I’m surprised. Johnny’s never liked the tag team thing. He’s afraid somebody might expect him to be reliable or something. As far as our ‘situation’ goes, Johnny’s pretty good at talking, but not so good at doing. I guess that’s par for the course, to use Johnny’s terminology. If Johnny wants to settle things, he knows where to find me.”
|
|