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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:24:10 GMT -5
OOWF Dance of Death 7 Live! From Hell, Michigan
OOWF World Heavyweight Title Dance of Death[/u] Tytan vs. Davin Moreland vs. Alexander Darling vs. Stan Fulton
OOWF Intercontinental Title Dance of Death[/u] Matt Folz vs. Ravenna Blue vs. LD Williams
OOWF World Tag Team Title Dance of Death[/u] Flyin Hawaiians vs. Drink & Destroy vs. Moosehead Jack & Stank vs. Texpress
OOWF Onslaught Championship Dance of Death[/u] Chris Evans vs. J-P Sparxx vs. Sean Moore vs. Concrete TG
Onslaught Rules Match[/u] Bryce Larson vs. Eric O'Mac
Steel Cage Match[/u] Boardwalk Saints vs. Trinity
card subject to Michigan winters, and clouds. Fuck clouds.
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:24:41 GMT -5
Kai, Aina, and Noelani are playing cards in their locker room after Midweek Mayhem. Sydney Wyld is there and seems to be the dealer. The Hawai'ians are drinking beer, while Noelani is having some sort of cocktail, complete with umbrella and lime slice. Sydney is having a CM Punk Special (Diet Pepsi &...nothing else.)
N: You sure you don't want a real drink, Syd?
SW: No thank you. Sharia doesn't allow it. I'm just happy to be hangin' out with two of my favorite guys. And you Noelani, who I'm sure I'll get to know well.
K: I outsmarted the cowboy.
SW: You did Kai.
Sydney smiles at Kai and turns the River. There's an Ace, a King, an Eight, a Nine, and now a Seven on the table.
A: I'm out.
K: All in suckahs.
N: Kai, it's just you and me left.
A: And you don't have enough to match him.
Noelani grins.
N: Fine. That thing we discussed last night. If I lose, I'll do it.
A: I don't want you to do it.
SW: What is it?
N: You'll see. Maybe. And I'll do it if I want.
Noelani turns over her cards. She has a pair of Kings for three of a kind.
N: Read 'em and weep, suckah.
Kai turns over his cards. He has a Ten and a Six. He has a straight. Kai wins.
N: Dammit!
Sydney casts an evil eye towards Noelani.
N: Hey, I can cuss Sharia.
Noelani sits back and rubs her nose in frustration.
N: Guess I gotta find my trench coat.
A: You don't have to do it.
N: A bet's a bet. Anyway, change of subject. We should do something special for the Pay-Per-View.
K: You should do what you're doing at the Pay-Per-View.
A: OOWF would never allow it.
N: They'd have to know I was doing it first.
Sydney points to the ninja cams.
N: They don't know WHAT I'm doing.
SW: Why don't you just do your intro from Japan? I always liked that.
N: I did too. What do ya say boys?
A: Maybe.
K: I forgot what it is.
N: Of course you did.
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:25:09 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is RANTING AND RAVING~! to himself on his way to his locker room after the match. We can't really hear him yet, but we do see him bust out a SPINAROONIE~! in the middle of the floor. Shawn Johnson and Moonbeam see him coming and get there mid-Spinaroonie*
DM: 5-TIME! 5-TIME!
SFJ420: Dude, you know that doesn't count, right?
DM: 5-TIME! 5-TIME!
OGMSJ: Davin, you didn't really -
DM: 5-TIME! 5-TIME!
SFJ420: Aw fuck it. If you can't beat 'em-
DM/OGMSJ/SFJ420: 5-TIME! 5-TIME! 5-TIME OOWF WORLD CHAMP!
*Davin does another Spinaroonie*
DM: WHOOOOOOO~! I'M THE GNARLIEST DOUBLE CHAMP EVER!
OGMSJ: How long do we let him do this for?
SFJ420: He'll stop eventually. Let's get to work on the fraud list.
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:25:43 GMT -5
*Fade in* to highlights from the last Midweek Mayhem...
Bryce Larson: That's where you have it wrong, Eric. I'm starting to believe that you actually don't believe in me. But I promise you one thing, Eric. After Sunday, you will finally believe in Bryce Larson.
Former WWE Diva Maria Kanellis returns and runs up to Bryce.
FWWEDMK: Bryce! I'm back again!
BL: Not now!
Bryce walks out off camera as Maria makes a pouty-face and we *fade out.*
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:26:06 GMT -5
*OOWF Medical*
Another Wednesday and another week in medical for Alexander Darling as he's getting checked out. They're finishing taping his ribs when he notices a ninja camera in the room. He tells the nurse to get out of his way...
Alexander: Eco...I allowed you to see another day because I'm not going to cross that line ever again, but tonight was just the start. I am not ever going to stop until the world sees you for what you truly are. And that includes my wife. You're a liar. You're a hypocrite. And you're nothing but a control freak Eco. I now realize what I have to do to you. I can try and take you out but your so called message will live so I'm going to go back and do what I should have done. What I started to do before Fire came back and made me lose my way. I'm going to eliminate your support. And it starts this Sunday.
I don't care about Davin Moreland or Stan Fulton. Let them win the title for all I care. I promise you something Eco...and Tytan. You will not walk out of Hell with the title. Because Alexander Darling is walking into Hell and he's taking Trinity with him.
And when the time comes to leave Hell, I will do it with my head held high and I will do it with my family at my side. And that includes Lisa Darling. So Eco, be prepared to start watching the walls you built start to crumble. Be prepared for the obstacles you put in my way to be taken away. Be prepared Eco because it's time you realize a simple fact. I AM ALEXANDER MOTHERFUCKING DARLING, and you, well you're not.
*Fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:26:27 GMT -5
J-P Sparxx walks in during Davin's celebration. Davin sees Sparxx and seems to calm down a bit before walking over to him.
DM: Tough break, kid.
J-PS: Yo Davs, I'ma hurt this bitch.
DM: You get your rematch. Why it's with two other guys I have no idea, but I was hoping that you'd actually move on from this.
J-PS: What'cha mean, yo?
DM: Well, instead of my GFY'ers feuding with each other, we should be looking at Unforgiven.
J-PS: You want me to show up da tomato can again?
DM: No, I was thinking more of their champ. Know what I'm saying?
J-PS: Yeyah, I got'cha. I-C I see if ya know what I mean.
DM: You've got the skill. And Matt Folz sucks, so...
J-PS: So The Spark is gonna get 'im. After I win my Onslaught Championship back.
DM: If you wi...
J-P stares down Davin.
J-PS: WHEN I win it back. Ya feel me?
J-P walks out of the room. Davin watches him leave with a smile.
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:26:59 GMT -5
<TNA style promo in the back. Moose is getting stitched up from the brutal chair shots he took from Chad>
Doc: Moose, you appear to have a concussion
MHJ: Bullshit
Doc: You have a headache?
MHJ: Yeah
Doc: Nausea?
MHJ: Yeah
Doc: Light hurting your eyes?
MHJ: Fuck yeah, can we turn that down?
<the Doc looks around for anyone else, including INC's but clearly misses this one then talks to Moose one to one>
Doc: Jack......you know me, you know I was in the business before I got hurt and went to med school. I get it. You have built your whole reputation on being the toughest son of a bitch in wrestling, but you take too many more shots to the head like that, and you will die.
<the Doc looks at Moose expecting him to explode on him, Moose just sits back covers his eyes and doesn't say anything for a few minutes>
MHJ: I know
Doc: You need time off
MHJ: I know
Doc: I can go to the board of directors........
MHJ: No. No.......look, just give me a couple days, it will be fine
<the Doc sighs and gets up, but looks back at Moose before he leaves>
Doc: You are playing a dangerous game here Jack
<the Doc leaves and Moose takes a deep breath and sighs>
MHJ: I know
<Moose sits in silence for a few minutes, then his cell phone rings, he ignores it for a minute, then flips it open and looks at the name and quickly answers it>
MHJ: Fire? Where are.......how did.........yeah, I know where it is. Yeah I will be there in a few minutes
<Moose gets up and walks out of the room>
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:27:53 GMT -5
*Outback Jack and Danny Taylor are sitting in the Destroyitarium. DDT points at Jack's nose and raises his eyebrows.*
OBJ: I lost count after twenty. You?
*DDT shrugs*
OBJ: Anyways, I was thinking about something we have to watch out for at Dance of Death. It's easy to get caught up in what's been going on lately, but in a four-way match you can't have tunnel vision. Know what I mean?
*DDT looks uncertain*
OBJ: These matches always break down, even when it's just four men instead of eight. Stuff's going to go on all over. We've got to watch out for each other.
*DDT nods*
OBJ: So let's make sure Victor is ready to do his job and not be distracted by the sheila.
*DDT makes an OK sign and smiles*
OBJ: No worries? I hope you're right, mate.
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:28:13 GMT -5
~~ We see Zane and Bridgette sitting in one of Hell's finer dining establishments. ~~ Zane: ....... Don't get me wrong, I'm glad we've got another Championship Opportunity, but again, another multi-team clusterbomb. Why? I swear that man does this on purpose anymore just to irritate me. Bridgette: Honey, it is Dance of Death after all. Zane: So? Bridgette: It's kind of the point. Dance of Death title matches Zane: Championship Opportunities... Bridgette: (holding up one finger slightly) Don't correct me.... Title Matches are traditionally four-way matches. You should know this Zane: Knowledge is one thing. I don't have to like it. Bridgette: The company isn't changing one of it's signature Pay-Per-Views just to suit you. Zane: And what do you know about this company? Bridgette: Easy, I read. Zane: ..... Bridgette: What do you think I'm doing during your tape & training sessions? If I'm here, I'm going to know as much about this place as I can know. I have a Platinum Membership to www.oowfwrestling.com . Zane: .... I... I ... I ...I knew I liked you for a reason. Bridgette: You better. Now, should we get something for Chad to go? Zane: I doubt he'll need it. When I left him, he had about 8 scantily-clad nurses fawning around him. One was feeding him grapes or something. Bridgette: He does enjoy himself Zane: To a fault sometimes Bridgette: I think I'd like some grapes fed to me Zane: ...... Well then let's get out of here. ~~ They both grin at each other and we're fading away...... ~~
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:28:46 GMT -5
Through the miracles of technology, we cut to the other side of Moose's phone conversation...
Firewoman looks visibly upset as she picks up the phone and dials. She waits....and then, her voice quivering.
FW: Jacky, it's me...............I need you........I stole my phone from .... look, can you come to the room in the basement .....where they store the extra stuff.......? Hurry........I can't stay on.......
A hand comes up and roughly takes the phone out of her hands.
Switching scenes again, Moosehead Jack bursts into the locker room where Stan and Ravenna are. He breezes through to a back room and comes out with Happy Deth Bat 2.0. He thinks a moment, and throws on his leather jacket.
Stan: Uh, shouldn't you be in medical?
MHJ: Got a call.
RB: Is this about Darling?
MHJ: *turning toward RB with a look of death* No this isn't about fucking Darling. Fire...called....she needs me.
Stan and Ravenna look at one another and start to stand up.
RB: Then we're going, too.
MHJ: No, you're fucking not. This is my family, I'll handle it. Stay away.
Stan nods, and puts a hand on Ravenna's shoulder. She nods, Moose nods, and storms off down the hallway.
Scene change AGAIN and we come to a darkened room in the basement. Moose starts to charge in, but thinks better of it, and waits, listening. He doesn't hear anything so he walks in carefully. As he does, the room immediately fills with a ton of black smoke.
MHJ: Fire? Are you down here? Fire? Lisa!!??
The smoke fills the room so thickly that Moose can't see, but he stops when he hears a voice.
FW: Jacky....I'm over here....
At the second use of her childhood nickname for him in less that 20 minutes, Moose's face turns even more concerned as he heads in the direction that the voice was. At least he does until he steps into a foot snare that releases and quickly snaps him up so he's hanging upside down, dropping Happy Deth Bat 2.0. Hands grab his and secure them behind his back with handcuffs.
V: Wrath is like the darkness that envelopes the world, and only the bright light of Divine Love can clear it.
At that, a ridiculously bright light shines at Moose's face as he dangles there. A shadow steps into it and comes closer to him. He can't see since the light is blinding, but it eventually becomes clear who it is.
FW: My brother...my family.....the sin of Wrath is strong in you....it needs to be purged, you need to be cleansed and made whole, so you can join me...
MHJ: What? Fire? I thought you said...
Moose is interrupted by soft, though somewhat crazy laughter as Ecosystem approaches from the left.
Eco: Sooooo, you do care. The brother that talks about family but is never there for the one who needs him most, does eventually show up. Bravo, John. Bravo.
MHJ: Eco...I swear....when I get down from here....
Eco: You'll do what...Kill me? Hurt me? Boring....
MHJ: *Turning toward Firewoman* Lisa...what are you doing?
FW: I am doing my master's bidding. The sin of Wrath is punished by black smoke, that is then driven away by the whitest and purest of light. I miss you, Jacky. You're my brother, my blood. I love you and I want you to join us, but you can't do that until--
MHJ: Join you? Why the FUCK would I join you? You're seriously....you're going along with this?
FW: Of course I am, Moose...have you not been paying attention?
MHJ: Yes, I just thought....
Eco: He thought you were the OLD Firewoman...the one that let her emotions rule her... who let the infliction of pain be the ends by which she released her own pain into the world....John, Firewoman has faced her own wrath......or has she?
Firewoman turns at Ecosystem, questioningly.
FW: Sensei?
Eco: The two siblings... what was it Stank said..."Born in sin, raised in iniquity?" This is as much for you, Lisa, as it is for him.
Ecosystem flips HDB2.0 up with his foot, catching it in his hand, without looking. He hands it out to her.
Eco: Here...take it... use it.
Firewoman slowly reaches out and takes it, staring at it in confusion. She looks at Moose and then at Ecosystem.
FW: Sensei...I don't....I don't want to.....
Eco: Don't you? Think back, Firewoman....Think to your child hood. Think of being taken away from him, and how he promised you he'd find you. And what he left you to endure...
MHJ: I was TEN. And it's not like my life was all champagne and caviar either.
Firewoman is mesmerized by Ecosystem's voice it seems, as she turns and looks at Moose.
FW: Really, Moose? So, what bad things happened to you? You were hungry? You got punched a few times. That.. PALES in comparison. Rose Quinn put me through something worse than death...and now that I've actually died, I feel safe in making that comparison...
MHJ: I tried to...look I went to juvy for robbing a liquor store so I could come get you, and by the time I got out, you were--
FW: Gone.
Eco: Yes gone...Gone to Philly and then Japan, where you met again? Of course, Fire didn't know that....Right, Lisa? He was henchman to one of your mortal enemies, yes?
FW: Yes...he was.....hell....he still IS.
Eco: That's right.....
MHJ: You MARRIED the person I hate most in the world.
FW: It was an accident.
MHJ: AND YOU STAYED MARRIED!
FW: He never did anything to you.
MHJ: He kidnapped me and carved his initials in my chest... HE KIDNAPPED YOU AND CARVED HIS INITIALS IN YOUR FACE!
FW: Which, incidentally, you didn't come to --
MHJ: This again?
FW: AGAIN? You've never ONCE apologized for that....all you have are excuses.
Eco: That's right, Fire...did he come see you after you died? Inquire about how you were doing? Wonder where you were?
FW: No....he thought--
MHJ: *thinking clearly for a minute* You know, Fire...you're right....Let's....cut me down, and we'll ... talk about all this, okay?
FW: Are you sorry?
MHJ: What?
FW: Do you repent? Do you see that the common thread here is your Wrath? Your hatred of Darling, your love of violence and pain? Do you repent of these things?
MHJ: ....
FW: ....
Eco: ....
MHJ: No.
FW: Jacky, please....
MHJ: No...do what you're going to do........after this, you are no better than Darling.
Eco: You heard him, Lisa. Do it.
Firewoman walks around behind him with HDB2.0 and raises it, then hesitates.
Eco: What are you waiting for. Do it.
FW: I.....Sensei.....
Eco: After all you've already done, you're going to pick NOW to disappoint me?
Firewoman shakes her head, raises the bat higher and swings, striking Moose in the back. The jacket protects him somewhat, but a few poke through slightly.
Eco: Again.
Firewoman repeats the action, and this time some of the nails do make it a bit further through. Firewoman cries out, but Moose is silent.
Eco: He's like a big pinata! Awesome! Do it AGAIN. Do it until he cries out for mercy.
FW: But he won't--
Eco: *Getting menacingly right into Firewoman's face, and yelling, which he has not done to her up to this point, ever.* DO. IT!
Firewoman swings several more times, crying out each time she does, almost channeling whatever pain Moose is in, and crying out for him. The jacket is mostly protecting him still, but from the look on his face, some of the nails are getting through. She raises the bat one more time, and then collapses, falling to her knees, sobbing real tears.
FW: I'm sorry...I'm sorry....
Ecosystem looks down at her sternly.
Eco: Who are you apologizing to....me or him.
FW: *Still sobbing, but looks up at Moose and then back to a very angry Ecosystem.* Um....y-you...you, Sensei.
Ecosystem sighs. He stops Moose from swinging, eyes some of the blood trickling through holes in his jacket. He whispers into Moose's ear.
Eco: I need to go now, and take care of your sister. Oh, and don't worry about that Darling mess...I'll take care of that for you, too.
He reaches his hand out to Firewoman. She tries to stand, but is still sobbing to hard. He kneels down and whispers to her.
Eco: I'm very disappointed in you.
He kisses her on the forehead, and then picks her up to carry her out of the room, cradle style, carrying HDB2.0 with him. Moose sees their silhouettes through the light and smoke leave the room.
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:29:15 GMT -5
<Moose hangs there for a few minutes after Eco and Fire leave, we can hear what we assume is blood dripping on the floor. The door opens and Stan Fulton walks in. He surveys the room, which has mostly cleared of smoke, to make sure its not an ambush, then moves toward Jack and cuts the rope, letting him down easy>
SF: You ok?
<Moose winces in pain and takes his jacket off, and we now see that it is shredded with holes in the back. Fulton looks at Jack's back and it is soaked with blood. Moose is wheezing badly and spits up some blood>
SF: Jesus. You are going to be lucky not to have broken ribs.....or worse, a punctured lung. C'mon, lets get you to medical.
<Fulton helps Moose up gently and drapes his arm over his shoulder and helps him out the room and on to medical>
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:29:42 GMT -5
~~ Chad Madison is lying in his bed, still on an IV and surrounded by at least 8 scantily clad nurses. He is clearly watching OOWF-TV ~~
Chad: Poor Johnny Quinn. Lured in. Attacked from behind.
~~ He breaks into a coughing fit, spitting up a little blood ~~
Sucks doesn't it?
~~ One of the SCN wipes his mouth with a rag ~~
I ought to be saying it couldn't happen to a nicer guy. But, you know what? That'd make me the same kind of vindictive heel you are. I'm better than that. I'm better than you.
I have felt Lisa's wrath myself. I understand.
And like I have done with her. I am walking away from you. Rick books us in a match, fine. I'll wrestle you. But I am turning the page. Zane and I want our Championships back. And unless you hold them, you aren't on my radar anymore.
~~ Chad leans back, one SCN helps him with a sip of water, then another hand feeds him some grapes ~~
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:30:27 GMT -5
*Stank walks into medical where he spies Moosehead Jack sitting as the doctor attends to the wounds on his back. Rav and Fulton stand nearby as Stank gives them a nod and approaches Moose who does not take his eyes off the floor.*
Stank - Moose.
MHJ -
Stank - Moose look at me.
*Moose slowly lifts his gaze and locks eyes with Stank.*
Stank - Do you believe me now?
MHJ -
Stank - There will be no us working with Trinity.
*Moose drops his head slowly back towards the floor.*
Stank - There's a price to be paid for what they've done. I aim to collect.
*Stank approaches Ravenna Blue and Stan Fulton.*
Stank - Walk with me.
*Stank turns and heads for the door. Ravenna and Stan look at one another then follow Stank as the camera fades.*
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:30:54 GMT -5
*Davin Moreland is STANDING~! in the middle of the room of his locker room as Shawn Johnson and Moonbeam wheel out the Top 10 Frauds of the Week board. He's all dressed up, OOWF World Heavyweight Championship slung over his shoulder. A closeup reveals that the nameplates been removed and "Davin Moreland" has been written in Sharpie in the blank space. He appears to have added a Bob Barker (tm) Microphone to his arsenal for this one. Moonbeam clears her throat and looks toward the camera.*
SFJ420: Ladies and Gentlemen...Welcome to another edition of Top 10 Frauds of the Week. Here is your host...The Greatest of All Time...Davin Moreland!
*Shawn and Moonbeam golf clap*
DM: Thank you, Moonbeam. There was a lot of fraudulent activity this week, folks - so let's not waste any time. Shawn. Take it away!
OGMSJ: Thanks, Davin. The Number 10 Fraud of the Week is...Moosehead Jack!
DM: Sorry cuz. But you got dragged into that trap pretty fucking easily. Do you not WATCH OOWF-TV? Do you not LISTEN to what I'm saying? I told Irvine and now I'm telling you. Firewoman does nothing she doesn't want to do. She's playing up the "Poor Firewoman" act to the max, and sucking you fools into the game. You should know better than to buy into that Jack. You, of all people, should know better. Everything she does is a set-up to further her own personal agenda. Always the victim, never to blame. You wise to her game yet, Jack? Are you?
SFJ420: The Number 9 Fraud of the Week is...Matt Folz!
DM: Fuck that guy.
OGMSJ: The Number 8 Fraud of the Week is...Tytan!
DM: It seems like every week I prove to the world just what a retarded meathead juicer you actually are. Outsmarted again. And this time *rubs the belt* it cost you the title. 5-Time, asshole. 5-Time. Greatest of All Time. You're not on my level. You're not even in my sport, Downy. Stop trying. I'm getting bored with embarrassing the shit out of you every week. It should be someone else's job already. Kiwi Joo needs an easy win, I hear.
SFJ420: The Number 7 Fraud of the Week is...LaDanian Tomlinson
DM: I wanted to put you at Number 1, Sandy Vaginason. I was talked out of it - but yet ANOTHER playoff game, and yet another no-show by you you overrated piece of shit. Nothing gives me greater joy than to watch you on the sidelines in your parka during a playoff game because your vag is cold - while you put up 16 yards on 9 carries, including a -1 on 4th and goal from inside the 1. You are the definition of fraud. May your fraudulence be a lesson to all the young, up-and-coming frauds out there. Pad your stats when it doesn't matter - disappear when it does. You deserve every shitty thing that happens to you, you piece of excrement.
OGMSJ: The Number 6 Fraud of the Week is...People who are calling Jay Cutler a pussy!
DM: All you fat, bloated wanna-be armchair quarterbacks out there who never sniffed a high school field, let alone a professional one - sit back while munching on your Cheetos and downing your Mountain Dew Code Red and question this guy's toughness? You'd need 3 people dragging your lard-ass to the shitter if you had a sprained MCL; never mind playing Quarterback for a professional football team. You lazy pukes make me sick. You should be ashamed of yourselves, and I hope you all sprain your MCLs to see what it feels like...which leads me to Number 5...
SFJ420: The Number 5 Fraud of the Week is...huh...Jay Cutler!
DM: People say you're the second coming of Jeff George. You should be on your knees every night PRAYING you're as good as Jeff George was. I have no idea why the media suckles your ballsac so much. No idea. You make Brett Favre look like a good decision maker. You make Dave Brown look accurate. You make Ryan Leaf look like a good leader. You. Will. Never. Win. Jack. Shit. And every fan who defends you, deserves you for a Quarterback for the next 10 years. You people make me want to vomit.
OGMSJ: The Number 4 Fraud of the Week is Sean Naomh Moore!
DM: "My visa expired"? That's what you're fucking going with? Really? Not "my push stalled waaaaaaaaah I'm taking my ball and going home?" Because, let's be honest, Moore. That's what's really happening. You started strong, and then disappeared when the pressure to remain strong became too great. I'd say you're like LaDanian Tomlinson, but he's accomplished more than you have. Fraud. Next?
SFJ420: The Number 3 Fraud on the Week is...Ecosystem!
DM: Talk about a disappearing act. This is the story of your fucking life, Junichiro. You show up, you stir some things up, then you disappear for weeks at a time, then show up to stir more shit, and then get offended when people treat you like a joke. You ARE a joke, Junichiro, and shame on me for ever believing you'd tell the truth about anything, ever. You've shown your true colors. Of course, for as much as an evil mastermind as you claim yourself to be - Davin Moreland always seems to gain the upper hand, doesn't he? You make your name off your reputation. I make my name off of results. Results talk, bullshit walks. Get to steppin', Junichiro. Your time is up. Unlike John Cena, my time is not now. Davin Moreland's time is then, now, and forever. THAT is how a real legend works, you fraud.
OGMSJ: The Number 2 Fraud of the Week is...huh, go figure...Alexander Darling!
DM: Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, eh, Alexander? You can't even be the best fraud. You're not even the best Darling with "Alex" in their name. That's pretty fucking sad.
SFJ420: And the Number 1 Fraud of the Week is...Firewoman!
DM: Oh cousin Lisa...The veil has been lifted from my eyes and now I see it all. I should have trusted myself all those times I saw this pattern of behavior. But I let emotion cloud my judgment. No longer. Poor Little Lisa is all about Poor Little Lisa, and Poor Little Lisa will do whatever Poor Little Lisa wants to do to advance her Poor Little Lisa agenda. You're not good enough to accomplish it on skill. You're not smart enough to accomplish it with your wits. No, in fact, the only skill you possess is your ability to deceive and play on people's emotions. People know your story. People feel bad for you. People give you the benefit of the doubt as a result. And those people? Pay the price. Every. Single. Time. Check out the archives. Check out the history. Firewoman's not a "poor lost soul on the wrong path due to circumstances beyond her control". Firewoman is an evil, manipulative bitch who will stab anyone in the back to get what she wants. Do you BELIEVE me now, OOWF? How much more fucking EVIDENCE do you need until you do? How many more innocent people have to be maimed? How many more lies need to be told? Poor Little Lisa is the definition of "Fraud", and it's about damned time that someone other than the Greatest of All Time Davin Moreland calls her out on it. Jack? Stank? Chad? Alex? Alexis? Anyone? Is this thing on? Enough with the Firepass already. Make her take you on 1-on-1 and convince yourself she's not Poor Little Lisa. She doesn't have the skill, talent or intelligence to beat you - or probably anyone for that matter. What else do we have?
OGMSJ: New Feature, D. First is the Not Fraud of the Week. This week, it's Eric O'Mac!
DM: Eric, man, you and I go back a long ways, now. We both like fruit baskets, and we're both savvy professionals. We've had our battles, and we've both pulled our disappearing acts, but I KNOW when you're being serious, and I KNOW when you've got a plan. You've got a plan now. Now it's up to that mental midget Bryce Larson to listen to what the fuck you're saying. Bryce. Stop being a fucking moron and listen to people who are and will always be better than you. Eric is right. You, as usual, are wrong. Fix it. Shawn, send Eric a fruit basket, will you? Umm, card should say "Eric, fun working with you again - these bananas should be in season - blah blah blah, regards, Davin"
OGMSJ: Got it, D.
DM: Ok, Honorable Non-Mention of the Week...Chris Evans. Win belts, you get off the list. At least for one night, you fucking got it. Let's hope it sticks. Anything else, Moony?
SFJ420: One more thing, Davin. Fraud who's not good enough to be on the Top 10 List...Stan Fulton!
DM: Ah yes. First, aligning with Moose is the smartest thing you ever fucking did. Unfortunately, it does not make you good enough to be in the same ring with the 3 of us this Sunday. You're not. You never will be. You're jus another Moose Lackey in a long line of Moose Lackeys. Also, you're 466 lbs, which makes you fat. You can sue all you want, but it's not slander or libel if it's true. But it's not even your fatness that offends me. It's your Dr. Zoidberg "Yay people are paying attention to me" attitude. You change tag partners more often than you change your underwear. You jump willy-nilly to the next thing thinking that you'll get a title shot as a result. Guess what, chuckles? There's a pecking order. You can bitch and moan all you want, but when it's not your turn, IT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING TURN! No one feels bad for you. No one. Maybe some day you'll be a big enough fraud to make the fraud list - but as for now, consider this your warning shot. Unless you act like a pro, you'll get bitchslapped by the Pro's Pro Davin Moreland over and over and over again until you do. Got me? Good.
SFJ420: One more thing. Dishonorable Mention, "Dynamite" Danny Taylor"
DM: Clearly, you're not mentioned for running your mouth, right? Let's just say, you're a fraud. *I* know why you're a fraud. *You* know why you're a fraud. It's not for me to say, is it, Danny?
SFJ420: Sweet. We're done?
DM: Yup. Davin Moreland puts all you frauds over yet again by menioning you in the most watched segment in OOWF history. You're welcome. Cock a Doodle Doo Motherfucker!
*fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:31:07 GMT -5
**L.D. Williams walks into medical, where Moose is still getting patched up.**
MHJ: “Say ‘I told you so’ and I swear I’ll-”
LDW: “Too easy/ Look, I know I’ve made myself odd man out on this, and you and Stank have a new crew, but you know where to find me.”
**Moose stares at Williams for a moment, and then nods, and Williams walks out.**
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:31:49 GMT -5
The Flyin' Hawai'ians have arrived in Hell, Michigan and are in the middle of their normal pre-event press conference. Conspicuous by her absence is Noelani. The Tag Team Championship belts are also not over their shoulders as per the usual.
Rep: Aina, aside from your history with Drink & Destroy and your past with Moosehead Jack, as champions you have surprisingly little history with your challengers...
A: It's true. Our rise to championship status was quick. We haven't really dealth with the so-called measuring sticks of the tag team division.
K: They've been too busy gettin' it on with the backstage girls.
A: Well, one of them.
Chorus of laughs.
Rep: Where is your manager, Noelani today?
A: She will be here shortly. She's taking care of some bus...
Speak of the devil, Noelani arrives, wearing a large trench coat, which is unlike her since she normally wears skimpy dresses.
N: Sorry I'm late everyone. Did you miss me?
A few male reporters say yes, drawing a smile from Noelani. She then looks back to Kai and Aina. Aina shakes his head "no" which doesn't seem to phase Noelani at all.
N: A bet's a bet...
She turns back to the reporters and throws off her trench coat. She's wearing the Tag Team Championship belts... and nothing else (the belts are conveniently placed of course).
K: Aznuts.
Flash bulbs pop and pop as Noelani poses for the cameras. After a few moments, Aina leaves the table, grabs her coat and covers her up and leads her out of the room.
Rep: You guys know how to put on a show, that's for sure.
K: Thanks, brah.
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:32:14 GMT -5
The camera pans back to see a disheveled DVD who has obviously caught the end of Jack and Danny's conversation. DVD sighs and looks ready to leave, when a massive hand is laid on his shoulder. DVD turns to see DH standing there.
DH: Don't take it so hard man, but the truth is Jack makes a point.
DVD: I know, that's what makes it hurt so much. My only goal when I got here was to help Danny become the best he could be. That's why I agreed to the alliance with D&D to begin with.
DH: But now you find yourself........distracted.
DVD: That's one way of putting it. Truth is Danny loves working with Jack, and is proud of what they have, and still can accomplish together. Now I'm becoming less of an asset, and more of a hindrance.
DH: Only one who can change that is you. The true test of a man's character is not what they do when life is good, but how they respond when things go bad. This is your chance decide what kind of man you want to be.
DVD soaks this in, nodding his head in understanding.
DH: You know the history we have with Moose and Stank, and how single minded they can be, but just because they have beef with the Texans, don't think they won't still put a hurting on our boys if they can.
DVD(rubbing scars from his barbwire crucifixion) : Don't have to tell me twice.
DH: Meanwhile the Texans may have won the Trios belts due to Davin's fraudulent acts, but don't let that fool you. The Texans are still one of the best Tag teams ever, you can't ever let your guard down around them. Now Jack is an old veteran, and he won't take anyone lightly, and Danny's a quick learner, and follows Jack's lead well. But there is one more team to take into account....
DVD: The Hawaiians.
DH: Exactly, and face it man, they've had your number from day one.
DVD hangs his head in shame again.
DH: D&D can beat the Hawaiians, I truly believe that, when they are focused, Danny and Jack are a well oiled machine. Still in this kind of match, that's four eyes for 7 people. They need your help, not to win, but to make sure no one takes the low road, or interferes where they aren't wanted.
DVD nods his head seeming to understand.
DH: Now is your chance to decide what kind of man you want to be. Let the Hawaiians keep playing games in your head, or step up and remember why you came here.
With that DH points to where Jack and Danny are drinking at the table as Jack explains multi team match strategy.
DVD (smiling) : I can't make any promises, but I'll try my damnedest.
DH: That's all we ever can do. Now if you will excuse me, I have somewhere to be.
DVD: Alexis?
DH: Nope, Catering, they have pizza rolls today.
FADE
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:32:47 GMT -5
*Unforigven Training Center*
The ring is empty. The weight machines are unused. The room is eerily silent except for the sound of something hitting a heavy bag over and over and over again. Spencer Darling slowly walks into the room and sees Alexis working as hard as she ever has. Spencer coughs and Alexis nods before throwing a few last punches and kicks. She grabs a towel and a bottle of water before walking over towards her sister.
Spencer: You sure you want to do this now?
Alexis: It needs to be said, so yes.
Spencer: Okay, if you insist...Alexis, this Sunday you have a steel cage match against Ecosystem and your former best friend Firewoman. What are your thoughts about that?
Alexis: My thoughts about a steel cage match. With Firewoman. As an opponent. Well to be honest, I'm not sure I ever thought this would happen. Fire and I...well, we hadn't always been friends. There was always some jealousy between us. When we started out. When we went to Japan. But I always believed that it was just two competitors being competitive.
Spencer: Is that no longer what you believe?
Alexis: Whether I believe it or not isn't the issue. The issue is she made it personal. Like she always does. She always has to go for the things that hurt the most and my brother can think she's worth saving, but this is Firewoman. Even if Eco is pulling the strings right now, this is who she has always been.
Spencer: So you don't agree with Alex?
Alexis: I love my brother and I support him. Always have, always will. But there are two issues here. The issues between Alex and Trinity and for that I'll have his back. But the issues between Fire and myself are between Fire and myself. They don't concern him. He doesn't have to like what I want to do, but he also understands why.
Spencer: And what is it you want to do?
Alexis: It's no longer about proving myself. I feel like I've done that these last few months. Whether Davin will ever admit or not, we won those belts TOGETHER and HE lost them. And then I won those tag belts again with DH. I've proven what I'm capable of in the ring. Now I want to prove what I'm capable of when pushed to my limit.
Spencer: And what are you capable of Lex?
Alexis: Fire wants to cut my hair off, fine...it'll grow back. But what I'm going to show to Fire and Eco on Sunday is that when you push a wounded animal there's only two possible results. That wounded animal slinks away and licks its wounds until it gets better or and this is what Eco and Fire need to be afraid of. When you push that wounded animal, be careful that it doesn't lash out and wound you right back. I've been pushed Fire...time to push back.
Spencer: What happens after Sunday?
Alexis: After Sunday, the Saints will begin that climb back to glory. And we already know who is first on that list. Be prepared OOWF tag teams, remember the name because the time is coming and the Boardwalk Saints will be coming for you. Booyah, Bitches!
*Fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:33:13 GMT -5
*Stank leads Ravenna Blue and Stan Fulton down The Hall~! Ravenna gently pulls at Stan's arm arresting his attention. She speaks under her breath so Stank can't quite hear.*
RB - What are we doing?
SF - Hopefully we're going to collect some righteous retribution.
RB - I'm not comfortable with this.
SF - What are you talking about?
RB - I'm not much for backstage attacks.
SF - Rav we got a good thing going here. I'm not about to ruin it by pissing off Stank or Moose.
RB - I don't know.
*They reach a large intersection dominated by catering. Between Flair's Sandwich Stand and Paul Roma's Pretty Wonderful Wraps sits a monitor playing the tail end of Davin Moreland's promo, of course catching the attention of Stan Fulton. Fulton freezes in place, seething.*
Stank - Ignore him Fulton.
*Stan Fulton raises a fist and smashes a table next to him.*
SF - I will tear that prick a new asshole!
*Stank walks over to Fulton, looks down at the big man, and puts a hand on his shoulder.*
Stank - We've got bigger fish. Let's go.
RB - Not me. I'm with you in spirit, but this is foolish.
Stank - What's foolish Rav?
RB - Us... attacking Trinity.
*Stank narrows his eyes at Ravenna Blue.*
Stank - You think we're going to attack Trinity?
*Ravenna looks over at Fulton then up at Stank and shrugs her shoulders.*
Stank - Miss Blue. We're not going to attack. We're just going to talk. Walk with me.
*Now it's Fulton's turn to look confused.*
SF - Wait a minute! What do you mean talk?
Stank - Exactly what I said Stan.
SF - We're not going to fight?
Stank - I didn't say we weren't going to fight. I said we're not attacking.
*Stank walks toward the eastern hallway leading to Trinity's locker room. He says over his shoulder...*
Stank - Either come with me or leave. It matters not.
*Just prior to entering the hallway Stank grabs something off of Flair's Sandwhich Stand. He then goes over to a nearby utility closet. Inside he finds a snow shovel. A smile briefly crosses his face as he resumes his path down the hall. Fulton and Ravenna soon follow.*
RB - What do you suppose he's going to do with that?
SF - Talk obviously.
RB - Right.
*They approach Trinity's locker room and as luck would have it, Tytan is just about to enter. Stank holds the snow shovel behind his back.*
Stank - Oh Tytan? A word?
*We cut to inside Trinity's locker room where Eco and Firewoman commune. Suddenly Tytan comes CRASHING THROUGH the front door, a giant welt forming on his forehead. Tytan lies on his back semi conscious. Stank walks in, the snow shovel in hand. He walks over to Tytan, gets on his hands and knees and wraps his hand around the man's throat. Stan Fulton and Ravenna Blue walk in seconds later not unnoticed by Ecosystem or Firewoman. For the fully conscious members of Trinity's part they remain remarkably calm despite the dramatic arrival of Stank and crew. Ecosystem observes with some anger Stank reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a container of pepper.*
Stank - They didn't have any salt Tytan. Sorry... best I could do.
*Stank grabs Tytan by his jaw, forces open his mouth, and pours the pepper in. Tytans eyes go WIDE and he reaches up to fight off Stank, but is too weak from the blow sustained to his head earlier by the snow shovel. Stank swings back and PUNCHES Tytan underneath his jaw, clamping the big man's mouth shut, while causing the sudden inhalation of more pepper. This causes the pepper to evacuate the only avenue of escape... Tytan's nose. Eco has seen enough.*
Eco - That will be quite enough Mr. Mann!
*Stank ignores him. He hovers over Tytan holding his mouth shut.*
Stank - Burns doesn't it?
*Involuntary tears well up in Tytan's eyes. Ravenna Blue turns away unable to watch. She focus on Firewoman instead and notices not anger but real sadness in her eyes while Eco's disciple watches Stank's assault. Fulton Focuses on Ecosystem ready to step in in case either Firewoman or Eco make a move to assist their partner. Tytan starts to fade. Stank ends Tytan's struggle with another hard punch to his jaw.*
Eco -I said THAT'S ENOUGH!
*Stank slowly lifts his head, glaring at Ecosystem. He quickly rises to his feet and steps towards Trinity's leader. Now Firewoman makes her move. Before Ravenna and Fulton can react Firewoman has thrown herself between Ecosystem and Stank. She looks up at the big man with tears flowing down her cheeks. She stretches out her arms and turns her head anticipating an attack.*
FW - I'M the one who hurt MY brother. I'M the one who hurt you. Don't take this out on sensei. It's me you want.
*Stank takes his gaze off Ecosystem to look down at Firewoman. She locks eyes with Stank tears still flowing.*
Stank - What are you doing?
FW - It's me you want. Fight me. I won't resist. Just don't hurt sensei.
Stank - You're sacrificing yourself for HIM?
*Firewoman doesn't break her gaze.*
FW - Gladly.
*Stank stares at Firewoman incredulous. A slow smile creeps at the corners of Ecosystem's lips. Stan Fulton speaks up.*
SF - What are you waiting for? Hit her!
Stank - Shut up, Stan.
*Fulton exasperated throws his hands up and makes a move toward Ecosystem. Ravenna reaches to hold Fulton back, but Stank holds up his hand gesturing for Fulton to stop, while never taking his eyes off of Firewoman. Fulton reluctantly complies.*
Eco - I told you, Lucas...
*At Eco using his proper name, Stank looks over Firewoman's head at Ecosystem.*
Eco - ... There's no need for you to make this personal. Firewoman's actions are her own.
*Stank looks back down at Firewoman and slowly backs away.*
SF - Ah man, no!
*Stank raises his hand in frustration toward Fulton.*
Stank - Stan... not now.
SF - Then what the HELL did you need us to come along for?
Eco - If I might answer that... to keep him *points at Stank* in check. To make sure he doesn't go too far and though Tytan lies over there a mess, he will heal. You see, Mr Mann is not willing to go as far as it takes to accomplish his goal. His enemy stood there before him. She offered herself to him and he would not strike her down. Had he done so he would have found *smiles*... salvation.
Stank -
Eco - Salvation lies within those who seek it. But Mr. Mann here is not ready.
Stank -
Eco - That is why he brought you two. But fear not my friend. Soon all of you will be saved.
Stank - Juni.
Eco - Yes.
Stank - Shut the fuck up. Let's go people. We're done here for now.
*Stank takes one last look at Firewoman who looks down at the floor wiping tears from her eyes. Tytan lies unconscious not too far from her feet. Eco strolls over to attend to Tytan as Stank and crew leave. They walk a few paces before Stan punches his right fist into his left hand with a loud clap.*
SF - Well that was a waste.
Stank - You weren't paying attention.
SF - I saw you back down.
Stank - You saw me choose not to fight.
SF - What's the difference?
Stank - Timing.
SF - What?
Stank - It's something that comes with experience. I can't teach it to you.
RB - What about Tytan? I thought you just wanted to talk.
Stank - And if he hadn't lunged at me in the hall we would have.
RB - What about the pepper?
Stank - Okay that was an indulgence on my part I admit.
SF - So we're just going to leave-
Stank - *interupting* Listen Stan. You have a World Title match coming up. Ravenna's got the IC title to focus on and Moose and I are going after the Tag Team titles. The shit going down with Trinity could not have come at a worse time... unfortunately it couldn't be ignored either. We went in there... we sent them a message. It will have to be enough for now.
*Stank resumes his walk back to medical. Ravenna decides to ask the question.*
RB - What Eco said... was it true? Did you bring us along to keep you in check?
Stank -
SF
RB -
Stank - I brought you as back up. Nothing else. Let's leave it at that.
Fade
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:33:43 GMT -5
A ninjacam fades in to Chris Evans walking into the GFY locker room. He approaches a still-pissed off JP Sparxx.
Evans: Hey Sparxx.
JP: Whatchu want, Pussyheart?
E: Relax, Sparky. I know you want this belt back, so here’s what gonna happen. We take out those 2 afterthoughts together, and then after that, you and I, we go at it one more time. We leave it all out there. After that, we move on, regardless of who holds that title. You can feel however you want about me, but the fact of the matter is, I do have respect for you, but seeing as how we’re on the same team, I had my doubts that you were gonna go light on me.
JP: Get this straight, Pussyheart. The Spark don’t go light on anyone. Except of course when it comes to my girl, knowwhatImsayin?
E: Yeah, I don’t doubt that anymore. Like I said though, after our match this Sunday, we’re still gonna be in the same group and this group isn’t gonna be shit if we’re at each other’s throats all the time.
JP: Yeah, you got a point.
E: I know I do. And after I retain that title, you can go after Folz and take his IC title from him.
JP: You mean after I win that title from you.
E: I know what I said, Sparky.
Sparxx gets in Evans’ face. The two stare down each other. After a few seconds, Evans cracks a smile.
E: I’m just fucking around with ya, man. See, that’s what I’m talking about. With drive like that, GFY is gonna run this place.
JP: I’m feeling that.
*fade to black*
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:34:19 GMT -5
Cut to Matt Folz's lockerroom, the ninja cams catching the OOWF Intercontinental Champion already in the middle of a phone conversation as an increasingly impatient Hayden Panettiere looks on.
MF: Alright, here's the bet. If the Packers win then the next time I come down to Orlando to hang out with you and Pete, dinner's on you AND you go to the next Steelers/Ravens game in Pittsburgh dressed full out in Ravens gear, facepaint, jacket, sweatshirt, everything. If the Steelers win, I pay for dinner and I go to the next Packers/Bears game in Lambeau dressed all out in Bears gear. (Smiles) Agreed.......sucker. (Listening, sighing) Sure I've thought about it, I'd LOVE to team up with you again and kick ass down there, but I can't right now man. Still under contract here for another few years and still have unfinished business here. I keep trying to convince our GM to run a joint TNA/OOWF show though. We did one with the WWE, and you guys better pure wrestlers than them, I think it'd be a much better show. I mean think about it, you and me teaming up again to take on say LD Williams and AJ Styles, that's a top 5 tag team match ever. (Sees Hayden glaring at him, checks his watch) Shit, Kurt, I gotta run, was scheduled to do an interview ten minutes ago. Thanks man, talk to you later, love ya brother. (hanging up)
HP (Trying to act angry, but smiling): Don't promo for a week, then keep me waiting when you actually do schedule one. Why shouldn't I find someone else to work with?
MF (Smiles): I pay you more than anyone else would, I like your company. Plus I apologize, didn't think the phone call would run that long, he's my best friend, we hadn't had a chance to talk in a while, just lost track of time.
HP: Fair enough, ready to do this?
MF: Yep
HP: I'm Hayden Panettiere here with OOWF Intercontinental Champion Matt Folz. Matt, this Sunday at Dance of Death 7 you are defending your title against LD Williams and Ravenna Blue, what are your thoughts headed into that match?
MF: Clearly I've got my work cut out for me, the reason I didn't promo last week was because I don't have anything bad to say about LD Williams. The man competes all out all the time, never takes a backwards step and is maybe the most tremendous wrestler I've ever been in the ring with. And Ravenna, while not quite at that level, is a tremendous talent herself, more than capable of beating either one of us if we take her lightly for even a second. You know what though? I LIKE being in matches like this. I came to the OOWF precisely because it has the best overall talent of any promotion out there, I want to test my skills against the best of the best, and that's what I have to do night after night here. In fact, I want to say this to the entire locker room: IF I come out of Sunday still with the belt, which is no guarantee, anyone who wants a shot can have one, I'll defend this title against anyone.
HP: J-P Sparxx has given interviews talking about coming after that belt.
MF; If Loudmouth McCan'tSpeakEnglish wants a match to try to win this, he's got it. He'll fail, but he's more then welcome to try.
HP: Ouch, you sound pretty confident.
MF: A little. Look, I've been Onslaught champion on a few occaisons, I give him respect. I know how hard it is to win that belt, so I'm not saying he's completely untalented. But come on, me at my best and focused versus him? No contest.
HP: Anything else?
MF: Actually, yeah, gotta admit I'm a little disapointed this week.
HP: Why??
MF: Well, Hayden, I was planning on debuting a new segment of my own this week, but it won't be as long as I thought. For this week at least.
HP; What new segment?
MF: Are you a baseball fan Hayden?
HP(Rolling eyes): Oh no.
MF(Laughing): Don't worry, it's not a segement where I talk about sports. The only reason I was asking is because there was a great, GREAT website that made fun out of bad baseball writing, FireJoeMorgan.com. Ever heard of it?
HP: No, why? What does this have to do with anything?
MF: I was going to do a FJM style takedown on the Fraud list every week, but this week Davin dosen't say anything TOO stupid, Stupid yes, but not the retareded bullshit I've come to expect from him.And in one case, I actually agree with him. But there are still some really stupid things in this weeks, so let's fire up the dvr and do a brief summary of the things that upset me, and to give him credit, the one thing he says that I agree with, shall we?
Folz rewinds the DVR to Davin's promo earlier this week.
*Davin Moreland is STANDING~! in the middle of the room of his locker room as Shawn Johnson and Moonbeam wheel out the Top 10 Frauds of the Week board. He's all dressed up, OOWF World Heavyweight Championship slung over his shoulder. A closeup reveals that the nameplates been removed and "Davin Moreland" has been written in Sharpie in the blank space
MF: Ok, let's start right here. You're aware you aren't actually the champion, right? Just making sure. Moving on....
SFJ420: Ladies and Gentlemen...Welcome to another edition of Top 10 Frauds of the Week. Here is your host...The Greatest of All Time...Davin Moreland!
MF: Woah woah woah, hold up there Pineapple Express. Greatest of all time? I guess you've smoked so much that you've forgot a few names here. Let me help you out: Flair, Steamboat, Savage, Michaels, Anderson, Blanchard, Race, about 7 THOUSAND other guys, then we get maybe down to Moreland. I'll grant that he's better than Barry Horowitz......maybe. Definetely better than Dwayne Gil though, so that's uh.....something. SFJ420: The Number 9 Fraud of the Week is...Matt Folz!
DM: Fuck that guy.
MF: I love how you aren't even making up bullshit reasons to put me on this list anymore and have just resorted to "Fuck that guy". Yes, fuck me and my ability to hold win and hold on to a belt with my skill. Seriously, what is it with you, jealous I wouldnt even have considered joining GFY? Or that Unforgiven is clearly winning the bet?
OGMSJ: The Number 8 Fraud of the Week is...Tytan!
DM: It seems like every week I prove to the world just what a retarded meathead juicer you actually are.
MF: Yes, you clearly are superior to him every week.....except for you know, when he beat you for the title again. But don't worry, don't think anyone noticed that.
Outsmarted again.
MF: I love, as any wrestling fan does, the Guerrero finish but it didn't actually help you win the title, you do realize that right?
And this time *rubs the belt* it cost you the title. 5-Time, asshole. 5-Time.
MF: Sigh, ok, so you clearly don't understand, let me repeat: YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY CHAMPION. See, 4 times plus one completely imaginary reign that exists solely in your mind does not equal 5 times. Let me put it to you this way, if a janitor cleaning your locker room picked up the belt and took it with him, do we credit him with a title reign? Of course not. He'd have no more claim to being champion than you do.
Greatest of All Time
MF: I just covered this one, try to keep up asshole.
You're not on my level. You're not even in my sport, Downy. Stop trying. I'm getting bored with embarrassing the shit out of you every week.
MF: Except for, you know, him actually being World Champion. I'm not saying I'm a fan of his, or even that it was neccessarily fair that he beat you in a 3 on 1 situation, but facts are facts.
SFJ420: The Number 7 Fraud of the Week is...LaDanian Tomlinson
DM: I wanted to put you at Number 1, Sandy Vaginason. I was talked out of it - but yet ANOTHER playoff game, and yet another no-show by you you overrated piece of shit. Nothing gives me greater joy than to watch you on the sidelines in your parka during a playoff game because your vag is cold - while you put up 16 yards on 9 carries, including a -1 on 4th and goal from inside the 1.
MF: I don't have any problems with LT, I'm just putting this in this promo to comment on what a stupid fucking playcall that 4th and 1 was. You run right up the middle against all 11 Steeler defenders? Really? If it wasn't for Mike Martz thankfully calling a reverse on 3rd and 3 with under two minutes left, this would be hands down the dumbest playcall of the conference title games. And hey, speaking about the Bears, I said I actually agreed with you on something, and here it is:
SFJ420: The Number 5 Fraud of the Week is...huh...Jay Cutler!
DM: People say you're the second coming of Jeff George. You should be on your knees every night PRAYING you're as good as Jeff George was. I have no idea why the media suckles your ballsac so much. No idea. You make Brett Favre look like a good decision maker. You make Dave Brown look accurate. You make Ryan Leaf look like a good leader. You. Will. Never. Win. Jack. Shit. And every fan who defends you, deserves you for a Quarterback for the next 10 years. You people make me want to vomit.
MF: Spot...fucking.... on. Seriously, that's not sarcasm, I agree with every word you said there. Winning seasons in College: ZERO. Winning seasons in Denver? Zero, including blowing a 3 game division lead with THREE GAMES left. 26 picks last year. Oh, but he won this year, right Bears fans? Bullshit, you should have lost to Detroit fucking twice, the refs bailed you out each time. And you faced not one, not two, but 3 3rd String quarterbacks this year. Enjoy your completely undeserved division title while you're all on your couches watching a real team in the Superbowl.
Now, let's finish this off with the biggest piece of Moreland hypocricy and retardery this week.
Honorable Non-Mention of the Week...Chris Evans. Win belts, you get off the list. At least for one night, you fucking got it. Let's hope it sticks.
MF: First, congratulations Chris. You're a great wrestler, I've really got nothing against you personally, and you'll do that Onslaught belt proud. Now Davin, last week, you were berating Evans for giving up a chance to retain the trios titles, right? GFY is all about winning championships, this is what you said, right Davin? So please explain to me why in a World Title match, you would intentionally get your opponent DQ'd instead of.....oh, I dont know, TRYING TO PIN HIM. If by your very own definition, Evans was a fraud for not trying to retain the Trios belts instead of handing them to you, then how are YOU not on this list for taking the easy way out instead of competing and trying to win the world title? Isn't GFY all about championships? You're both a hypocrite and a moron.
HP: Anything else?
MF: To all true wrestling fans out there, this may sound like a cheap plug, but it's truly not. You have a choice between watching great wrestlers this Sunday or watching Cena eliminating 39 other guys simultaneously. There's only one Pay Per View worth watching this weekend, and it's right here
Fade
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:34:53 GMT -5
(Tytan finally coming to and being tended to by Dr. Podvod looks pissed. Eco and Firewoman are watching on.)
Tytan: What in the hell was that?
Eco: It was a retaliation.
Tytan: So, why is it that I am the one that gets the retaliation.
Eco: You are the champ.
Tytan: A champ that doesn't have a belt right now.
Eco: Don't worry that belt will come back to you.
Tytan: Do you have a plan?
Eco: Not yet? Do you?
Tytan: I had something in mind, but you know I a little bit slowed down at the moment.
(Tytan and Eco both then look to Firewoman.)
Firewoman: (Finally noticing) Hey, don't look at me?
Tytan: This isn't what I signed up for Juni.
Dr. Podvod: (Jumping in.) He has been taking a lot of shots to the head. That keeps happening he's going to be a little more then scrambled.
Tytan: You said, this time it would be different. This time they would listen.
Eco: They will it just needs more time and a little more effort. They are finally paying attention to us now.
Firewoman: Sensai is right with that.
Tytan: Yeah, believe I know that. It seems I am the only one that is getting the full effects of that.
Eco: Don't worry Tytan. You will heal and fight again. The title will still belong to Trinity and all will still be the same after Sunday.
Tytan: That's what I am afraid of.
(Tytan goes back to icing his head.)
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:35:21 GMT -5
*OOWF Backstage Interview Area*
Ashley Davis is standing by with one of the four men who will be competing for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday at Dance of Death. Alexander Darling has been the center of a lot of events the last few years here, but he has a chance to become a world champ for the second time, let's hear what he has to say just under 48 hours before the PPV.
Ashley: We're here with Alexander Darling and lots has been happening in the OOWF that concerns you, where would you like to start?
Alexander: Let's start with the seven deadly sins. Pride, Envy, Sloth, Lust, Gluttony, Wrath, and Greed. We all know what's been happening around here. We all know Trinity wants these sins purged from the OOWF. We all know Ecosystem is using whatever methods he can to control his disciples to do his work for him. And we all know that 6 of the 7 have been shown to the world. And finally, we all know who and what the 7th sin is.
Ashley: You think it's you, don't you? You think Eco's going to send Firewoman after you to try and purge greed?
Alexander: I do believe that to be true. I wasn't sure who he'd send her after first, myself or Moose...but I knew it would come down to us.
Ashley: Before we continue since you brought it up. Moosehead Jack was brutally attacked by Firewoman and we all know your feelings towards Moose. Would you like to comment on it?
Alexander: I know Moose wants to act as if I don't exist and he'll play this off as some rookie talking about things he doesn't know. But the fact is the Moosehead Jack who won't deny my existence will expect me to say that this is karma. That he's reaping what he's sown in the past. That his actions have consequences and that this is what he's deserved. But here's the thing, I hate Moose more than I've ever hated anyone in this business. It would give me no greater satisfaction to stand over a beaten and bloody mess of a men that is Moosehead Jack. I'd love to be able to do it to him but even if I didn't I'd applaud the person who finally did. But even with all that said, no one deserves what happened to him. No one ever deserves to have their flesh and blood turn on them to the extent that Fire did when she attacked him like that.
Ashley: So you are finally blaming Fire for her actions?
Alexander: Blaming her...no. But she is going to have to take responsibility for them when the time comes. That's the thing I'm not understanding about our fellow wrestlers here. They all claim to have this deep knowledge of who Firewoman...of who Lisa Quinn or Lisa Darling is and yet they believe she is capable of this without outside influence. The women we all know is fighting a losing battle against a madman who's intent on destroying her from within. Destroying everything that she is and could be. And yet they all claim she doesn't deserve to be saved. Well, if not her then who? Should we allow Eco to once again bring this company to its knees under a false message. I say no. And I say no because I've been where Fire is.
Ashley: People are saying you haven't done anything to help Fire. That if you were so intent on saving her, that you would have done so by now. You have a history of nothing stopping you when you feel you are right in doing it. Kidnappings, torturing, mutilation...among other things. Why not now? Why not this time?
Alexander: Ashley, the truth is I've tried. People see what they want to see and what's shown to them. I don't know how he's accomplishing it but Eco's stretch of control is far-reaching. I've tried to get to Fire and every single time I've failed. I Alexander Darling am admitting I have failed. That should tell these people everything they need to know about the truth. But they won't hear it because it doesn't fit in their little boxes. There is nothing I want more than to help Fire. To destroy those destroying her. But up til now I have failed at it. But then I take some time and I think. I think about what's happened to me in my life. The struggles I've had overcoming exactly what Lisa is going through right now and I realize that even if I was to get to Fire. Even if I am able to look my wife in the eyes, I'm not sure she's ready to be saved.
Ashley: How can you think that if you've been there?
Alexander: Because of exactly that reason Ashley. Having been there, I know you can't be saved from a man like Ecosystem until you realize you deserve to be saved. The two times I fell into the position of being a servant to a master, the only things that saved me were being pushed too far or realizing I didn't deserve it. Just think back to when I was sitting and wasting away in Poe's solitary chamber here. Everyone tried to save me and everyone failed until I was pushed to my breaking point. Until Poe pushed me to do something I fundamentally couldn't do. He asked me to hurt Alexis and I had to make a choice. Be a follower for the rest of my life and never be able to look at the closest person in my life ever again or fight back.
Ashley: But Fire was given that same choice and she continues to follow Eco. Can she be saved?
Alexander: Everyone can be saved Ashley. If I didn't believe that, I'd go home right now and never look back. But after what happened, this is just going to make it that much harder. Moose may never forgive her and he has that right now. I'm never going to like Moose, that much is easy to say. But the fact is even if she is being controlled by an egotistical son of a bitch, she still followed him and when the time comes...IF it ever does, that will be between them.
Ashley: A lot of people may think you're giving Fire a free pass because of your relationship with her. Is that accurate?
Alexander: No. There is no such thing as a free pass. If and when the time comes...if I'm ever able to save her or she saves herself or someone else saves her, she's alienated a lot of people. I have no idea if she will ever be able to reconnect with some of those people and they can't be blamed if they want nothing to do with her. But as I've been saying, I see this from both sides.
Ashley: That's not entirely true Alex. You haven't been attacked like others have. You haven't been stabbed or disfigured or tortured.
Alexander: Oh, it's coming and my opinion won't change.
Ashley: How can you be sure?
Alexander: Duh Ashley, because I am Alexander Darling.
Ashley: How could I ever forget. Anything else we should talk about?
Alexander: I don't know...maybe a little piece of gold that two people claim to hold.
Ashley: The OOWF World Heavyweight Title. Recently you said your goal is not to win the title. Is that still true?
Alexander: I said that in the heat of the moment. After yet another beating. After I was left bloody yet again. But here's what happened when I sat back and thought about it. I have very simple goals on Sunday at Dance of Death.
Ashley: And what are those goals?
Alexander: First, to take out one of Trinity's foundations. Tytan has been a thorn in this company's side for far too long and he believes that by being OOWF World Heavyweight Champion that he controls a portion of this company. It's time for him and by extension his master, Ecosystem to learn that they control nothing. It's time for Tytan to pay the price of everything he's done these last few months. From attempted murders to everything else. Tytan will realize he crossed the wrong person when he crossed Alexander Darling. Tytan will not walk out Sunday as OOWF World Champion. That's the first goal.
Ashley: The second goal?
Alexander: To shut Davin Moreland up even for a minute. I'm so sick and tired of listening to him. All he does is fucking talk about how great he is. Guess what Davin, no one fucking cares anymore? Good job, you've held the world title 4 times for less time than it takes a normal person to order a value meal at McDonalds. You're the definition of transitional champ. And next time you feel like writing a fraud list, look in a fucking mirror. Because you, my brother-in-law, are a joke and a fraud and I can only hope that Sam realizes it before you ruin another life.
Ashley: Um, okay...any other goals?
Alexander: Stan Fulton. Crusher. The flake. Always trying to find your path. Always taking turns when you should be staying the course. I don't have any personal issues with you Stan, just your choice of friends. You're just another tool for them to use and discard. I thought you had understood who you were a few months ago. But you can be so easily led astray. Always blaming others for YOUR choices. So Stan, Sunday...I'm taking the choice out of your hands once again. You won't be champ. It's that simple. You're not ready and I'll prove that to you yet again. And the world will see that.
Ashley: So, what does all that mean?
Alexander: Quite simply Ashley...it means on Sunday. At Dance of Death. The best wrestler in this company will once again be OOWF World Heavyweight Champion and the OOWF will once again be on a path of glory. Tytan, Davin, Stan...be ready because I'm coming for vengeance, I'm coming for a legacy, and I'm coming back for MY OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Because I AM ALEXANDER DARLING, and well you three, you just aren't.
*Fade*
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:35:47 GMT -5
We see Danny Taylor and Outback Jack still in the Destroyatorium watching OOWF promos. Stanks recent outings finish up on the screen, and a big smile forms on OBJ's face.
OBJ: (belches) That's Australian for, it's good to see that.
Danny shoots Jack a questioning look.
OBJ: What just happened there, the controlled violence, sticking up for yourself and your friends, being smart about when and where you make your moves. It reminds me of the Stank I used to run with, not the fifth sting lackey of the "five" that he had become.
Danny looks surprised at this comment.
OBJ: Don't get me wrong, I doubt we will ever be friends, but It's good to know that the old Stank is still in there somewhere.
Danny nods seeming to understand. DVD walks up behind the bar and pours himself a drink. Both Jack and Danny nod to him in greeting. DVD takes a sip of his drink building confidence.
DVD: I owe you guys an apology.
Now Danny throws a questioning look at DVD.
DVD: When we got here Danny, I said I would do whatever it took to help you be successful here. Lately I haven't done that, I've been more hindrance than help, and for that I apologize. You two have my word, that stops now.
Danny smiles trying to reassure his friend.
OBJ: We know you have our back mate.
DVD: I'm serious Jack, this week we face three great teams no doubt, but they have flaws we can exploit. The Texans claim to be the measuring stick of tag teams, but let's face it the last two times they won gold, it was due to Davin Moreland handing it to them. Until they get that monkey off their back, they can't claim to be the best anything. If they decide to pull out any of their buddy Davin's tricks, I will make sure the ref is on top of it.
Both Jack and Danny nod in agreement at this.
DVD: Moose and Stank are violent, mean bastards, but they tend to lose themselves in that violence, and that's a weakness we can use. But if it's going to far, or they go for the cheap shot on either of you, I'll throw my own body in the way to back you up if I need to.
Jack looks impressed at this, but Danny looks slightly worried.
DVD: And as for the Hawaiians, their weakness is easiest to see, they lack confidence in themselves. They never would have jumped us when we were champs if they thought they could beat us fair and square. You boys can take the titles from them, I truly believe it.
Danny makes the outline of a woman with his hands.
OBJ: Yeah what about their sheila mate?
DVD (letting out a sigh) : I know, I have been the weakness for this team, and that the Hawaiians have exploited that weakness time and again. That changes now. As Noelani likes to say, "It's just business now". Whatever may have been building there before, it's gone now. As far as I'm concerned she doesn't exist to me, and if she tries to get involved on Sunday, she's just another opponent to be Destroyed. This Sunday you walk into Dance of Death and face three great tag teams, and this Sunday you will walk out OOWF Tag Team Champions.
With that DVD raises his glass, both Outback Jack and Danny Taylor raise theirs in response. All three men smile clink glasses and throw em back as the camera
FADES
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Post by BookerShark on Mar 12, 2011 23:36:37 GMT -5
*TNA Style promo out back behind the building, we catch Stank smoking a cigar mid-conversation with LD Williams.*
Stank - I don't know.
LDW - I know Moose. He's not going to take this lying down.
Stank - I can't tell. He isn't speaking.
LDW - You know you could have called me. I would have had your back.
Stank - I did you a favor. You wouldn't want to see what I saw.
LDW - What.
Stank - I went over there angry. My plan was... well... it all went to shit once I got my hands on Tytan.
LDW - Poor Tytan.
Stank - Don't feel sorry for him. Following Firewoman around, assisting her with these attacks, you pay the price.
LDW - Still... pepper?
Stank - I was ready to give Juni and Fire much the same, but she shocked me.
LDW - It shouldn't surprise you Firewoman would want to protect Eco.
Stank - That's not what shocked me. What shocked me was what I saw through her crocodile tears... she wanted me to hit her.
LDW - So?
Stank - It's what she wanted.
LDW -
Stank - I tried to tell Moose that Fire is not the same. That Eco has brainwashed her... but a part of me hoped Moose was right. That Fire hasn't changed. That all this was just some game she's playing. What shocked me... was that I was wrong. Moose was right. I didn't look deep enough before, but now I know. She's there and brainwashed doesn't describe what's happened to her. Beating her and Juni down at that moment... wasn't in the cards. It wouldn't have served any purpose other than to satisfy my anger. That's not how you defeat a group like Trinity.
LDW - Oh... so now you want to "defeat" them?
Stank - For now, no. I have other things on my plate. Like disappointing three other tag teams when Moose and I take the tag team titles.
*Stank drops and stamps out what's left of his cigar. He and LD Williams walk inside out of the cold and the camera fades.*
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