OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (03/30) Live! From El Alto, Bo

[BookerShark]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From El Alto, Bolivia

OOWF World Heavyweight Championship Match[/u]
Stank vs. LD Williams vs. Chris Evans

OOWF Intercontinental Championship Automatic Rematch Clause Match[/u]
Stan Fulton v. GM the Ecosystem

Non-Title Tag Team Match[/u]
Brass Knuckle Kings vs. Flyin' Hawai'ians

Texpress vs. Drink & Destroy
Alexander Darling v. Psykle
Firewoman v. Tytan
Davin Moreland v. El Lobo Sangriento
J-P Sparxx v Darius Prentiss
DH Magnusson v Matt Folz

Card Subject to Mike Tyson sending me somewhere else

[BookerShark]

Lucky is sitting in GM the Eco's office going over papers.

L: I think that about does it for her demands. I'll just have to have her sign it and get it back to you.

Eco: I don't see why Madame Commissioner can't do this herself. If she's that delicate...

Stank: Many words I'd use to describe her. "Delicate" is not one of them.

Eco: Still....

L: Okay, we're done.

Stank: Moose rehired?

L: As soon as she finds him. Hopefully Aisha is nowhere nearby, she's less than happy with her.

Stank: That's a match we should book.

Eco: Are we done here then gentlemen? I need to...where's my limo?

L: Oh...Fire took it. Well, Fire, Alex, Alexis, and--

Eco: She took....MY limo?

L: Yes, right here, page five, line six. "Lisa Quinn Darling has full access to all transportation methods on an as needed basis without permission of GM the Ecosystem or the Board."

Eco: ....and I signed that?

L: You initialed it even.

Stank laughs.

Stank: Damn, she's good.

Eco: Whatever, get me another one.

L: No, sorry, I don't work for you.

Eco: That in the contract too?

L: Nope. Just personal preference.

Eco: What are you saying?

L: What I am saying is that given the word, you and I would not be standing here having this pleasant conversation right now, and I would make you pay for everything you've done, but for some reason my employer would prefer I keep my hands clean.

Eco: ...

Stank: ...

L: So, we done here?

Lucky does not wait for a reply, but gathers the contracts up and leaves the office.

*time shift*

Lucky runs into Fire and hands her the papers. She smiles as Alexander scowls.

FW: Excellent. I'll be back in a minute.

Fire walks down the hallway of lots of post packing up from the PPV activity and heads to Moreland's locker room. She doesn't knock, just opens the door.

DM: Hey!

SDM: Hello, Fire.

FW: Hey, I only have a minute. You don't need to get on the OOWF plane...or bus...whatever it is to get to El Alto.

SDM: You don't know?

FW: I'm too lazy to google it right now. Maybe later.

DM: Why?

FW: Because I'm the commissioner now *holds up the contracts* and I can do it. Because despite all your offers of help, Ecosystem is still holding you at arm's length. Because you're my cousin and I owe you....way more than I can ever make up.....Because we're family.....Because --

DM: Because you want something.

FW: ....

SDM: .... Honey, I--

FW: Well...yes.

DM: I knew it.....Lisa doesn't do anything without--

FW: I want to know if it's okay....if I go to Massachusetts this week.

SDM: What for?

FW: He knows......

DM: .....

FW: If you tell me it's not, I'll wait.

DM: .......

FW: Okay....I'll--

DM: Fine. It's....it's fine.

SDM: What's fine?

DM: I'll tell you later.

FW: Okay....thank you, Davin.

DM: Whatever. Leave.

Firewoman does

SDM: What is that all about?

DM: I'll tell you later.

[BookerShark]

*Davin goes to get an Aquafina. Samantha is still sitting there.*

SDM: It's later.

DM: Are you serious?

SDM: Yes.

DM: K.

SDM: ...

DM: ...

SDM: Well?

DM: Oh, she's going to fly to Massachusetts, harass my mother, ask for forgiveness, then probably try to get her to sell her house...which I own.

SDM: And she doesn't ask you...

DM: No, and my poor Mom listens to her, gives her tea and crumpets or whatever, and politely tells her EVERY SINGLE TIME that she can't, and that she doesn't own the house. But Lisa, well, she can be a little slow at times.

SDM: So she's going up there to apologize.

DM: Yeah.

SDM: Why?

DM: I've been trying to figure that out. Moony said I said something in a promo a couple months back. I guess. Lisa's fucking weird.

SDM: No news breaking there.

DM: No.

SDM: However. Perk.

DM: Yes.

SDM: No fucking plane. No fucking bus. Davin and his harem go wherever the fuck they want, HOWEVER the fuck they want.

DM: I'm gonna try to make that permanent. Let me make some calls.

SDM: Good point. I'll check in with a couple people.

DM: Ok good.

SDM: Good.

DM: ...

SDM: ...

DM: ...

SDM: You have a match this week.

DM: I saw.

SDM: Against El Lobo Sangriento.

DM: Right. Him.

SDM: Any thoughts?

DM: Should be a good one?

SDM: Anything that doesn't require postage?

DM: I will hit-

SDM: DOESN'T require.

DM: Oh. Well, he's been here 5 minutes, and I'm the Greatest of All-Time. What could possibly go wrong?

SDM: *sighs* You will hit him so hard...

*fade*

[BookerShark]

*Smash cut*

Sexy Female Journalist Devina Spread: Sexy Female Journalist Devina Spread here with Breaking News! The Brass Knuckle Kings are flat out refusing to defend their OOWF World Tag Team Championships against The Flyin' Hawai'ians on Mayhem this week. We've been searching for the champs, and I think we've tracked them down.

Champs. CHAMPS!

Eric O'Mac: Um, yes?

SFJDS: Sexy Female Journalist Devina Spread on the scene here, and we've been tracking you both down for days now looking for a comment on your ducking of The Flyin' Hawai'ians. And you cheated to beat Drink & Destroy. What do you have to say for yourselves.

EOM: Days? The match was just announced last night?

Bryce Larson: And this was a prescheduled interview.

SFJDS: Don't ignore the facts gentlemen, this is Sexy Female Journalist Devina Spread on the scene here and we are *BREAKING NEWS!* for the world!

EOM: Are you new?

SFJDS: No, I'm Sexy Female Journalist Devina Spread on the scene here, and you sirs are ducking the top teams in the OOWF.

BL: Yeah, she's obviously new. So let's break some news.

EOM: Just tell us what you need to know, okay? I'll make sure some pineapple is sent your way.

SFJDS: I'm Sexy Female Journalist Devina Spread on the scene here, and what I want to know, what the world wants to know.

BL: JUST ASK YOUR FUCKING QUESTIONS!

SFJDS: I'm Sexy Female Journalist Devina Spread on the scene here, and, um...okay, fine. You cheated to beat Drink & Destroy, and you're not giving the Flyin' Hawai'ians a tag team title shot. What's up with that?

EOM: What do you want to cover, Bryce?

BL: Um, I'll take the title shot, you take cheating.

EOM: Got it. Listen, Devina... Drink & Destroy picked the stipulation for our title match. They picked No-DQ. And since you're new, that's not No Dairy Queen, it's No Disqualfiication. No Dis-qual-ifi-cation. You pick that stip against us, you know you're getting the knucks. And since it didn't air in its entirety, let's take a listen to the call by our good friend Gus Johnson.

Gus Johnson: Larson has the chair. SHOT to Jack! Eric readies the Knucks. Larson tosses the chair to Taylor! Taylor looks disgusted, tosses it back to Larson! BRASS KNUCKLES SHOT BY ERIC ON TAYLOR! DROPS HIM! 1...2...3! OVER!

EOM: See, perfectly legal. The stip was their call, not ours.

BL: Yeah, and as for us ducking the Hawai'ians? We're ducking no one. D&D didn't deserve a shot, and we gave them one anyway.

SFJDS: They had to jump through hoop after hoop--

BL: --No. They didn't deserve a shot in the first place, and they got one.

SFJDS: But the Hawai'ians just won a best of 7 series against Texpress to earn a shot.

BL: Earn a shot? It took them all seven matches to wrap that thing up. You know what that means? Over the last seven events, their record is 4-3. Four and three! A 57% winning percentage for those counting at home. Sure, that puts them 1 match over .500 for the last seven weeks, and that's fine and dandy for someone who dreams of being a contender. But 4-3 doesn't earn you a tag team title match, boys.

EOM: Yeah, and I'd send you pineapple, but you're Hawai'ian. You've got a better source for pineapple than I do. You're on your own.

SFJDS: I'm Sexy Female Journalist Devina Spread on the scene here, and I think we now have more questions than answers with the champs.

BL: You're just cliche after cliche, aren't you.

EOM: Yeah, we're done here. Where the hell is Francois?!

BL: Oh, he's got a speaking engagement.

EOM: Speaking engagement?

BL: Yeah, Gus likes his moxie. He's introducing Gus at some community college in Hampton.

EOM: Okay then. Well then everyone know this. We are SUPREME. Eric O'Mac, Bryce Larson, Chris Evans and Matt Folz. And when we go 3-3 this week, we will reign SUPREME. Especially the Brass Knuckle Kings. Why?

BL: Because KINGS...REIGN...SUPREME.

*Fade out*

[BookerShark]

*Stank is packing his bags when an OOWF attendant walks up and knocks vigorously on the already open door.*

Attendant - Uh... Stank, sir?

Stank - Yes?

Attendant - The GM would like you to address the protesters outside.

Stank - The who now?

Attendant - Protesters from Ica upset about the Pay-Per-View being moved to Rio.

Stank - Yeah that was not my idea.

Attendant - I agree sir.

Stank - So not my problem, right? I had nothing to do with it.

Attendant - The GM has instructed me to tell... uh remind you... that you are the face of this company. The GM has also prepared a statement for you to read. A press conference has been prepared and we're just waiting for your arrival.

Stank - *sigh* Let me see the statement.

*The attendant hands Stank the statement which he skims over briefly.*

Stank - Juni actually wants me to say this?

Attendant - Yes sir.

Stank - Has he lost his fucking mind?

Attendant - Not for me to say, sir.

Stank - Veto!

Attendant - I'm sorry sir you can't.

*Stank turns around and stares down at the little man.*

Attendant - *gulp* The GM thought you might invoke a veto and has instructed me to say while you do get three vetoes a month, corporate policy compels you to do the press conference, sir... unfortunately corporate policy can not be vetoed.

Stank - ...

Attendant -

Stank - Fine. But I'm not reading that statement.

Attendant - Why?

Stank - Did you read it?

Attendant - No.

*Stank hands the statement to the attendant.*

Stank - Read it out loud.

Attendant - "The OOWF reserves the right to change the venue of it's shows without warning. The people of Ica can go fuck themselves...."

Stank -

Attendant - "...All hail... GM The Eco."

Stank -

Attendant - Okay I can see where you might take issue.

Stank - Tell Juni I'll do the damn press conference with a heavily edited version of the statement he wrote. Go.

*The attendant leaves. Stank finishes packing his bags when he gets a phone call with a 508 area code.*

Stank - Hello?

SDM - Um... hi.

Stank - Who is this?

SDM - It's Samantha.

Stank - Moreland?

SDM - Do you know another Samantha?

Stank - Yes. Three. SFJ's numbers 18, 24, and 32.

SDM - Ugh. Sorry I asked.

Stank - What do you want?

SDM - Um... have you watched OOWFtv?

Stank - Not recently.

SDM - Firewoman stopped by and she says that the Moreland party doesn't have to ride with the rest of the roster to the next city.

Stank - Okay.

SDM - We'd like to make that a permanent thing.

Stank - ...

SDM - I called our contacts with the Board. They referred me to the GM, who referred me to... you.

Stank - ... ...

SDM - Apparently you are in charge of our contracts?

Stank - Oh yeah... I forgot about that.

SDM - So...?

Stank - What?

SDM - Can we make what Fire said permanent?

Stank - Oh... uh... contract negotiations don't begin until next week. Have your husband meet with me and we'll discuss it.

SDM - Uh... is that a good idea?

Stank - What do you mean?

SDM - You two aren't exactly...

Stank - It's contract negotiation Sam, not a match... although... it might be fun if it were.

SDM - You see THIS is why I'm against this whole thing with you having any position of authority.

Stank - Picture it... Davin Moreland, "The Greatest of All Time" versus... oh... let's say... Matt Folz aka FuckThatGuy. Winner's party gets to travel however they wish.

SDM - Why not versus you, champ?

Stank - I have to travel with the roster per my contract. It's non-negotiable.

SDM - This is crap.

Stank - Sam, it's just a hypothetical. I'm sure we can work something out... next week. I have to do a press conference. Talk to you later.

*Stank ends the call and leaves as the camera fades*

[BookerShark]

FADE to an arena hallway either in Peru or Rio (we’re not sure where the PPV took place to be honest...). Standing in front of a door are two Columbian “businessmen.” Coming down the hall is the Crusher’s attaché, Martha Rodriguez. She notices the ninja camera person and motions for the guards to let the person through with her as she steps inside the locker room of The Crusher, Stan Fulton.

Crusher is sitting on his usual bench seat with the Intercontinental title belt across his lap. He is just sitting there staring at the belt.

MR: “Stan. NCP here now.”

SF: “That’s fine, Martha. Let them in.”

MR: “He’s already in.”

SF: “Good. Get him a drink or something. Get one for yourself and would you tell Juan to find me a case of Newcastle Brown Ale?”

MR: “Sure thing. Did you want to say anything to the camera? Promo or something?”

SF: “I suppose I should, huh?”

MR: “You are the new Intercontinental Champion, though I haven’t seen any record of it yet.”

SF: “There’s a good chance we never will. First major title win and there’s technical difficulties with the broadcast. But, there’s no denying the fact that I hold the belt. OK, let’s do this proper.”

Fulton stands up and finally takes his eyes off his new possession. He looks into the camera and smiles.

SF: “Muyo-san. Thank you for this. I underestimated you, believing that you’d use your general manager powers to not let the title change hands. For that I apologize.

“We have a rematch on Wednesday night at Mayhem. I look forward to it.

“And when, not if, I retain this title, I am offering Matt Folz a chance at this title for two reasons. One, because without his mentorship, I would not have this title today. And two, because you never lost this title, Matt. You have every right to challenge for it.

“This title’s been held by the greats of this company: Hall of Famer Concrete TG, LD Williams, Outback Jack, my buddies Moose and Stank, our new commissioner Firewoman, Alexander Darling and the self-proclaimed Greatest of All Time, Davin Moreland. Quite a line up.

“And now, lowly ol’ me. But I shall prove that I am worthy to carry it. I aim to carry this title long enough to prove that I am the number one contender for the World Title. Congrats on your title defense by the way, Stank.

But I’m coming for your belt next. For I am your new Intercontinental Champion, The Crusher. Enjoy the damn pain.”

Fulton signals for a cut and the cameraperson backs off.

MR: “A little over the top, don’t you think?”

SF: “Probably. I’m feeling pretty high right about now.”

MR: “How much have you had to drink?”

SF: “Three Dasanis and a Diet Coke. I really need to pee.”

MR: “I’m so proud.”

SF: “Shut up and find out what’s taking Juan so long to get that Newcastle. And escort the NCP outside. We’re done here.”

Rodriguez pushes the NCP out the door as we FADE.

[BookerShark]

<Moose is sitting......somewhere......and just got done watching the MADNESS 7 PPV and has cycled through OOWFtv catching up on most of the promos. Aisha walks into the room and sits down on a nearby chair. The two sit in silence for a minute, then Aisha speaks>

Aisha: looks like you are hired back

MHJ: Looks like it

A: So, I guess you will be leaving

MHJ: Soon enough. Got some things to think about first

A: She got you your job back

MHJ: I know

A: She's going to kill me

MHJ: I know

A: That's all you have to say about both?

<Moose gets to his feet and paces around the room for a minute>

MHJ: It's not what was done, or who it was done by. Its who did nothing. I know Stank and LD have my back. I know Poe has my back. I know - even though the WAY you did it was completely fucked up - YOU have my back.

A: It was the only way you would listen

MHJ: Yeah, I know. And even though we..........well, I know she has my back. But there were some who proved themselves to be...........where is HDB?

<Aisha just points to the corner. Moose moves and grabs HDB and heads out the door, he pauses for a moment>

MHJ: Aisha.........thanks. I think I needed this. Tell Selena and Poe I will be seeing them soon

<Moose leaves and we fade out>

[BookerShark]

The scene comes up and we see Dynamite Danny Taylor and DVD sitting at a table. Danny is nursing a cup of hot coco and Baileys, and is sporting a large bruise on the side of his head. DVD leans back in his seat and crosses his arms across his chest.

DVD: So let me see if I have this straight. This is what you believe happened. You where having a match, and Firewoman kidnapped you?

DDT nods in agreement.

DVD: Then she drug you to a place full of loud noise and flashing lights, where she met up with Dr. Infieri. Who I believe only hung out here for what two months tops?

Danny again nods in agreement.

DVD: Then you where rescued by Alexander Darling, who fought the two of them off with a pool stick?

Danny holds up five fingers.

DVD: Right, he fought them off 5 times with the pool stick. Then you went to escape, but Firewoman managed to catch up in a kart and spin Darling out before kidnapping you again. The next thing you remember is waking up here.

Danny nods in agreement again. The camera pans out, and we see Ashley and Spencer trying hard not to giggle and DH and OBJ damn near rolling on the floor with laughter.

DVD: While I must admit, that is a more unique take on the situation, the truth is that BKK pulled out another trick, and laid you out with the brass knuckles again.

DDT frowns at this.

DH: They weaseled there way into holding onto the tag belts, and now are pulling the same crap they did with us on the Hawaiians.

DVD: Don't worry about those island boys, they have a little bit of craftiness in their corner as well. Now this week we meet up with the Texans for the first time one on one.

OBJ: (belches) That's Australian for two on two actually. Unlike Larson and Omac, the Texans aren't really known for cheating.

DDT makes the motion of two fingers running on his hand.

OBJ: Yeah, that too. For the first time in quite a while, we will be having an honest to goodness wrestling match mates. Not sure if I'm ready for one of those.

DVD: (scratching his chin )Don't forget, the Texans are two thirds of the trios champs. A win over them could be used as leverage towards a title shot.

DH: It would be nice to team up with you boys again for a match.

Spencer: Only if we can get get Danny to stop daydreaming about my brother and his wife.

At that Danny's face turns beet red as the rest of the room finally bursts out into a fit of laughter.

FADE

[BookerShark]

**Stank runs into L.D. Williams in the hallway on his way out of the arena.**

S: “Got a minute?

LDW: “Sure.”

S: “I wanted to talk to you about this thing with Eco.”

LDW: “I’m down with it.”

S: “Down with it?”

LDW: “Yeah.”

S: “Dusty Rhodes you ain’t.”

LDW: “Ah, but Stank, to all my little babieth out in T.V. Land I am the Canadian Dream. Momma wath hard-workin’, and Daddy wath a ramblin’ man. I may be the product of poor beginning’s, but I have overcome. I am the man of the hour, the man with the power, too s-weet to be sour, daddy. And Mr. Lucas Mann, Wednesday night you and I are gonna Walk…that aisle. We gonna Step…in that ring… And we gonna get funky like a monkey, baby. And when all is thaid and done, when the referee counts three, L.D. Williams, the CANADIAN DREAM, is going to Take the OOWF Title for a third time, for all my little babieth….That’th how it ith.”

S: “_”

LDW: “-”

S: “L.D.”

LDW: “Yeah?”

S: “Don’t ever do that again.”

LDW: “Sorry. C'mon - we've got a plane to catch.”

<fade>

[BookerShark]

Following the OOWF Title match at the PPV, we are backstage and see Psykle and IQ coming back through the tunnel, Psykle obviously still full of rage, and IQ talking on his cell phone.

IQ: Yes, I know what happened, I was there. No, it doesn't set things back any. Yes, I...

Alex Darling comes around the corner and bumps into Psykle. Before Alex can react, Psykle lets loose, and throws Darling through the catering table. Psykle storms off, while IQ surveys the scene.

IQ: I'll have to call you back, something just happened.

IQ walks over to Darling and offers his hand to help him up.

IQ: Sorry about that, wrong place, wrong time and all. Let me pay for the dry cleaning...

IQ takes out a couple of hundred dollar bills as we fade to black.

[BookerShark]

*Fade Back In*

Firewoman turns the corner and sees Darling laid out on the floor, and looks up and sees IQ standing there. She smiles.

FW: Really?

IQ: It was... an accident. Darling bumped into my boy and he just kind of snapped and reacted.

FW: Uh-huh.

IQ: I figure that's something you'd be able to sympathize with, going off on someone for no reason.

FW: Right. See, here's the interesting thing about that. I totally get going off on someone for no reason. But, the funny thing here is that I actually HAVE a reason, since you've just laid out my best friend, my ally, and my husband.

IQ: What? I was just--

FW: Done my research, Isaac...I know a little bit more about your relationship with your protege than you'd probably like me to.

IQ: ...

FW: So the question is, do I put YOU through that table over there? Or do I--

AD: Fire....

FW: What.....

Fire doesn't take her eyes off IQ, and he holds her gaze with a Staredown of Mutual Contempt

AD: Remember our conversation about appropriate targets?

FW: Vaguely. with some irritation

AD: Okay how 'bout getting kicked off your new job if you kill the talent?

FW: ....

Fire smiles at IQ.

FW: You should go find your boy before he gets into any more trouble.

IQ leaves as Alex gets up out of the table wreckage.

AD: Good.

FW: Bad. He needs to get--

AD: And he will. When WE decide--

FW: Fine....I'll see you in Bolivia.

AD: I wish you'd let me come with you.

FW: We talked about this. Got to do it myself.

*fade*

[BookerShark]

Ecosystem is in the Burn Ward of El Alto General Hospital, where The President is heaqvily bandaged, including over face.

Eco: It's a shame what happened to you the other night, Mr. President.

Pres: Mmmmph.

Eco: Particularly shameful in the light of our new family friendly image. I mean, when the former Commissioner can be set on fire by the current occupant of the job, what does it do to our demographic-differentiated outreach? How does it shift our marketing paradigm? Who will buy the new line of Tickle Me Eco dolls?



President: Mmmmph. Mmmmmph.

Eco: I know, they're pretty great. (The President is gesturing to his mouth.) Oh, sorry. (Eco takes the gauze off.)

President: Why did you put that over my mouth? My face didn't get burned...

Eco: Um. It was a. Precaution. Yep.

President: Yes, well. Juni, this is "an American tragedy in which we all have played a part." But there is hope. "History and experience tell us that moral progress comes not in comfortable and complacent times, but out of trial and confusion."

Eco: Is that fucking Gerald Ford?

President: Could you not see under the bandages?

Eco: ...Never mind, Mr. President. The point is, I think that we shouldn't think of the loss of your Commissionership as a loss for you...but an opportunity for a promotion. Your loyalty shall be rewarded.

President: Ah, to restore the order of just men rising above pettiness and division. I am worried about Fire and Stank, Juni..."Never again must America allow an arrogant, elite guard of political adolescents to by-pass the regular party organization" and exercise vetoes and steal our limos.

Eco: I am certainly in agreement with the last point. And to the point of Party Organization...we do need a better corporate organization. A bit more differentiation i our highest offices. I have decided I will be newly titling my role Chief Executive Officer Junichiro Muyo. Of course, that means I will need a new General Manager, to help plan things out on the ground. How does General Manager The President sound to you?

GMThePresident: "Our constitution works. Our great republic is a government of laws, not of men."

CEOTheEco: Agreed. I must move on to another appointment.

GMThePresident: So question...as General Manager, rather than Commissioner, I will have primary day-to-day control over booking, correct?

CEOTheEco: That depends on Moose.

GMThePresident: What?

Kayfabe pops her head in and glares.

CEOTheEco: Uh...that's subject to my approval and corporate approval.

GMThePresident: What about contracts?

CEOTheEco: That's Stank.

GMThePresident: But I have exclusive control over stipulations and week-to-week administration.

CEOTheEco: Well, Fire does too...

GMThePresident: So what is my job?

CEOTheEco: ...It's like you're Commissioner...but kind of in charge of Fire too...and like, sometimes you can do things, and if no one calls you out on it, then it's like you had the authority...the point is, you're paid REALLY WELL, and everyone has to call you General Manager.

GMThePresident: Well, "though they have not elected me by their ballots," I hope the corporate board "confirms me by their prayers." Get the Proclamation Paper ready and bring me Sexy Nurse!

The bandaged President falls out of bed in excitement, SNL-Ford style. Eco rolls his eyes and leaves as the nurses help him up.

FADE

[BookerShark]

*Stank is at a local Bolivian bar. A voice comes up from behind him*

VCUBH: "The people of Ica can go fuck themselves"

S: Classy, right?

VCUBH: Well, to quote my boy BB, "it is what it is".

S: I don't know why you like them.

*Davin sits at the stool next to Stank*

DM: *shrugs* They're my team. My local tam, always been my team, DAMMIT BILL SIMMONS SAYS ITS OK!

S: Uh...sorry I asked.

DM: Right. Sorry. "GMthePresident" is not really sitting well with me right now.

S: How bad could he be?

DM: ...

S: ...

DM: *sips his beer that magically appeared*

S: Ok, dumb question.

DM: So Sam said you had to discuss something with me?

S: Well-

DM: The travel thing? I mean, can we make that fucking HAPPEN already, Lucas? I've been riding these rickety, piece-of-shit planes to these godforsaken places for how many years now?

S: Not as long as me.

DM: True, but it's not like you HAVE to any more.

S: No. I don't have to anymore. It used to be fun. There was a time...

DM: Capslock was a funny bastard.

S: Yeah. Still is actually.

DM: ...

S: ...

DM: So can I put that in my contract, or what?

S: What?

DM: About me not having to ride on shitty planes and buses.

S: Who?

DM: Wait.

S: Where?

DM: I never thought I'd live to see this day.

S: Which?

DM: Vinny Barbarino? I mean...are you kidding me? There are esoteric references, and then there are "Welcome Back, Kotter" references that 4 people get.

S: You got it.

DM: I'm worldly.

S: You're an asshole.

DM: Takes one to know one.

S: Ok, since we're devolving into the 2nd grade insults, soon to be followed by "I know you are but what am I", let's get back to this.

DM: Fine. Put the clause in.

S: I might need to give them a reason to do this.

DM: Lisa said.

S: Compelling, but I need something else.

DM: Cut my salary.

S: Really? Over this?

DM: *shrugs* Have you seen what I make?

S: I haven't really looked.

DM: Look.

S: *looks* Oh.....Wow. How did you-

DM: The Darling Women seem to have a knack for business.

S: Everyone's good at something.

DM: Watch it. I like one of them.

S: Fair. So what kind of cut are we talking about?

DM: I think 10% would be more than appropriate. Not to mention the money they're saving on my travel.

S: I'll take it to them.

DM: You'll do more than that. You'll see they accept.

S: Was that some sort of Jedi Mind Trick attempt?

DM: No. Fuck Star Wars.

S: So you're just being a regular douche?

DM: Like you said, everyone's good at something.

S: *laughs* Ok.

DM: ...

S: You glad Moose is back?

DM: Hey, he's your friend. So I'll tread lightly. But had he just stayed away, I would have been fine.

S: But he's your-

DM: He's HHH in Raven's Body and half the talent. Washed up. Done. Killed himself in Deathmatches nobody watched. For the last 2 years he's just been bitter that he will never, ever, regain the form that made him one of the greats in this business. And he bogged down. And became stale. Then the skills went. And he couldn't handle it. So he, without thinking it through, as usual, hit the GM. Fired. Sure, he's back now, but I'm guessing he's gone for doing the same thing in 6 months. If nothing else, Moose is a creature of habit. In fact, he's so entrenched in his routine that all his promos sound the same, all his matches look the same. I swear if you switched his socks out for a different color he'd have a conniption fit followed by a massive, face-dropping stroke.

S: You really enjoy running your mouth.

DM: I learned from the best in the business, Lucas. And you know? There are few people who have made me run my mouth more than you.

S: I could say the same.

DM: *sighs* The good old days. When feuds were feuds, telenovela storylines were few and far between, and I was still...

S: Crazy?

DM: No, I'm still crazy.

S: Poor?

DM: Hmm. Maybe it was poor. I forgot already. Clearly my nostalgic daydreaming was just something to kill time before the end of the promo.

S: Clearly.

DM: You'll take care of it?

S: Yeah, I'll do my best to get it done.

DM: If I can help out with a call or two-

S: I actually think it would be best if you DIDN'T run your mouth in this particular case.

DM: *thinks* Ok.

S: Ok?

DM: Yeah. I gotta go. I promised to get the wifey something native to Bolivia.

S: ...

DM: BESIDES that.

S: Oh, cause I met a guy not to long ago up the street-

DM: So...something else.

S: A sombrero?

DM: Mexico?

S: A Boll Weevil?

DM: Sure, maybe a...wait, what?

S: Something that rhymed with Bolivia?

DM: Not so much rhyming.

S: Like Olivia?

DM: ...

S: Benson?

DM: Robert Guillaume?

S: No, SVU

DM: Um.

S: Law & Order?

DM: I like Law & Order. That Jack McCoy is something else.

S: Wrong show.

DM: But you just said-

S: Didn't you say you had somewhere to go?

DM: Yes.

S: K.

DM: ...

S: ...

DM: ...

S: You should probably go do that now.

DM: Right. Thanks.

*He leaves and Stank just shakes his head before going back to his beer*

*fade*

[BookerShark]

*Stank continues to drink his beer when he recieves a text message. He pulls out his cell phone and reads it. His brow furrows as he puts the phone back in his pocket. A few moments later he recieves another text. Stank this time decides to call. He holds the phone up to his ear and we can only hear his side of the conversation.*

Stank - Hello... yes...

... that's a veto...

... that's right, and don't try that corporate policy bullshit this time...

... The President will not be GM...

... why...?

... You want to know why? Because I may have agreed that I would not start a war against you or participate in one... yes... but if you make The President GM I guaran-damn-tee you will have one...

... that's right...

... and there is not a damn thing you, me, or anyone else could do to stop it... ... yep... ...

... Consider this Juni. With you as GM some were either passionate about unseating you or indifferent. With the President I'm afraid you have more of a united front against that. So again I say, veto. It's for the good of your administration... think about it...

... don't say I didn't warn you...

... ... uh huh... ...

... right... ... ...

I'll talk to her but you know what she's going to say... ...

...

... why do you have such a hard on for him? .. ...

... Then let The President wrestle. He's been here for like what? A cup of coffee?... ...

... Yes that's right. Nobody will forget what happened there... ...

... sure... ... so?...

... ... That doesn't matter...

... what's the point of having a veto if I can't use it? ... ...

... ... ...

... That's not the question you should be asking. What you should be asking is do YOU think the headache of having to defend this guy is worth it?.... ...

... Well you're the one into job titles. Make him your Corporate Liason to Roster Affairs, I don't know, just not GM... ...

... You're not listening... no one here is going to work for him... ...

... Yes mutiny is entirely possible. Isn't this why you came to me? To make sure something like that won't happen? No way I can convince them that this is a good idea....

... because I don't think it's a good idea... Juni? ... Juni.... Juni, listen.. LISTEN DAMMIT!...

... No don't you dare put him on the ph- Haaaaaaaay Mario... yes itsa you...

... I know... yes...

... I have veto power... yep...

... Mario put Juni back on the phone... ...

... no I don't want to talk to Brick... ...

... It's bad enough he has you as a lawyer... ... NO! NO!...

... ... ... .. ... ...

.... .... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... ... ... ...


... Brick put Juni back on the phone...

... ... ...

... Juni?... .... As compelling as Brick's argument seems, I'm afraid the answer is still veto... ... ...

... that's right... ... ...

... we can discuss it later... ... fine, goodbye.

*Stank ends the call. He shakes his head while putting his phone away. He gestures toward the bartender for a refill of his beer as the camera fades.*

[BookerShark]

*Fade in to the Designated OOWF Promo Area at the Arena de los Muchos Espectadores in El Alto, Bolivia, where we find El Lobo Sangriento adjusting his mask as he waits patiently with SFJ29 for his cue to begin promoing…

ELS: –so then he says, “Tanks for nothing!”

SFJ: …

ELS: Guess you had to be there, eh? Wait, what? We’re on? Shit. Why didn’t someone tell me? Okay, go ahead with the first question.

SFJ: El Lobo Sangriento, you lost your first OOWF match on Sunday to Alexander Darling. What are your thoughts?

ELS: Well, it took me nearly a full 24 hours to really process what had happened. To be able to go over the match move by move and get a feel for it. While I’m not happy that I lost, it was a great match, and I’d like to congratulate Darling on putting on a helluva show with me. Any time you want to do a repeat performance, I’m game. Just don’t expect the same result next time.

SFJ: Your next match is against Davin Moreland at Mayhem. Any thoughts there?

ELS: I’d like to start by thanking whoever made this match. Frankly, I can’t keep track of who’s responsible for what right now between the new owner, new GM, and new commissioner, but again, thanks for this opportunity, powers that be. I expected to come into the OOWF and spend a few months wrestling jobbers and slowly working my way up the ranks, but facing Fulton, Darling, and Moreland in less than three weeks? That’s an opportunity. All I have to do now is seize it.

SFJ: Given this apparent push that you’re getting, have your goals changed any?

ELS: No. The goal is the same: to work my way up the ranks title by title right to the top of this company. To earn my place among the greatest wrestlers who have ever competed in the OOWF. That journey continues this week at Mayhem with Moreland.

SFJ: You seem very confident for someone who hasn’t been here long.

ELS: I am confident. I have no doubt in my abilities. I know that anytime I step in the ring, I have a shot at winning. I feel that I can take on the best this company has to offer, and clearly, so does management. I intend to continue to show them that their faith in me has not been misplaced. I just hope that Moreland’s focused on facing me this week, not looking past me, because I’m ready to howl!

*FADE*

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is SITTING~! at a very nice, homey, dining room table, drinking tea and eating scones. She gets a text on her phone. She looks at it, scowls, and puts it away. Mrs. Moreland comes in with more tea.

MrsM: If it's important, dear, you can take the call.

FW: It's not...It's just Sta...I mean, Lucas. He can wait. This is more important.

MrsM: Well, really it's not necessary dear. You wanted to buy the place because you remembered feeling safe here.

FW: That may be, but the whole trying to burn it down was--

MrsM: Was not successful and it's already been painted over.

FW: Well,....still...I'm sorry...for that and ....well, just everything.

MrsM: Davin will be surprised that you didn't try to buy it again.

FW: Yeah.

MrsM: Is that the only reason you came here? Because he said to?

FW: Well, sorta. But then the more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right.

MrsM: Good for you, dear, and I accept your apology, even though none was necessary. Scone?

FW: Sure....

The two eat in silence a little and Firewoman is visibly way more relaxed then she's been in weeks.

MrsM: You know, you could take a vacation. Stay up here for a week or so.

FW: Davin would never allow that.

MrsM: Davin may own the property, but the rules of the house are mine. You're welcome any time, dear, and that husband of yours too. I just wish we had been able to keep you with us when you were a child. Maybe things would have been different.

FW: Maybe. Maybe I was already ruined at that point.

MrsM: Now, just stop. No one is ever ruined permanently, even.......your mom.

FW: Let's not go there.

MrsM: Well....I may have told her you were coming....and she may be on her way over here.....*the doorbell rings*....right now.

FW: A set up? From you?

MrsM: I just thought...well, since you know what it's like to do things that you don't want to do...things you can't help....even to people you love......you may want to try talking to her again....

FW: ...

MrsM: ...

FW: You're evil.

MrsM: You didn't get it all from the Quinn side.

FW: I don't know....

MrsM: Give it a chance, and I'll speak to Davin about not being such a hard ass.

FW: *snorting tea out of her nose* Aunt Robin! Such language!

MrsM: Do we have a deal?

FW: Yeah...we do.

MrsM: I'll go let her in.

*fade*

[BookerShark]

CUT to the locker room of new Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion, The Crusher Stan Fulton. Crusher is pacing back and forth using a new smartphone. It appears to be a Windows 7 phone and the camera catches a glimpse of a Twitter app.

Crusher’s attaché, Martha Rodriguez, is just finishing a phone call on her phone.

MR: “It should be here any minute.”

SF: “Good. I’m tired of this thing. Does anyone think this looks right? I swear, if I have to wear this one more day people are going to thing I’m a wigger.”

MR: “No chance of that. You couldn’t hold a beat if it came in a grocery bag.”

SF: “Har har har. It is to laugh. Oh by the way, has my delivery from Minneapolis arrived yet?”

MR: “Just this morning. Cleared customs without a hitch.”

SF: “Cool. Have Juan bring it in.”

Rodriguez goes to the door and says something to the “company man” posted outside. He then uses his two-way radio and the door is closed.

MR: “It’s being brought over from Receiving.”

TIME SHIFT a few minutes... there’s a knock on the door and Rodriguez opens it.

MR: “Bring them in. They’ve been check out, Juan?”

The guard nods and ushers a couple of delivery guys inside with two boxes. One small, the other is a pretty good sized box.

SF: “Alright. Everyone who doesn’t belong here, get out. Juan, no interruptions for the rest of the day.”

Juan nods again and closes the door after the room is cleared.

SF: “Can you open the smaller box? I’ll get this one.”

Rodriguez opens the smaller of the two boxes and removes the original OOWF Intercontinental title belt.

MR: “No more spinny belt for you.”

SF: “Thank you, Grand Architect of the Universe. And send Lucky a thank you note and some Newcastle for tracking this down for me. I always liked him. Efficient and detail-oriented. If Fire ever fires him, make sure we’re the first with a substantial offer for his services.”

MR: “I’m not doing a good enough job?”

SF: “You’re doing fantastic, Martha. I just have other plans for you.”

MR: “And those are?”

SF: “A secret. You’ll find out in time. Go ahead and send Juni his spinner belt back. I know he spent good money on it. Wasted that money in my opinion, but good money nonetheless. He can tape his picture back on it and put it on a shelf behind his desk.”

MR: (looking at her phone) “You tweeted that you got the belt back already?”

SF: “I knew it was coming so I took a bit of liberty with the timeframe. Gotta keep the followers happy.”

MR: “You have no followers.”

SF: (dejected) “I know. Someday, though. www.twitter.com/CrusherFulton/.”

MR: “Did you just speak the URL? Are you that lame?”

SF: “Let’s just say I’m that lacking in self-esteem. But these will help.”

Fulton reaches into the large box he’s just gotten open and pulls out a plethora of Minnesota Twins apparel. He throws a ladies Joe Mauer jersey to Rodriguez. Then opens the door and gives the guards Tsuyoshi Nishioka jerseys. Not being a fan of Japanese ballplayers, the guards give Fulton a half-hearted smile and shut the door.

SF: “Maybe they’d like Justin Morneau jerseys instead.”

MR: “Japanese, Canadian. I don’t think it would matter. Now do you have any Liriano jerseys?”

SF: “Dominican Republic?”

MR: “It’s at least closer geographically.”

SF: (in a very bad attempt to imitate Patrick Stewart) “Make it so, Number One.”

MR: “What?”

SF: “Nevermind. Alright. I’ll take a few things with me and can you pack the rest up and have it delivered back to the States? Keep it in storage until May. I think the new tour will be posted soon so we’ll know where we’ll be.”

MR: “Si, Señor Fulton.”

SF: “Seriously?”

MR: “Sorry. Anything new for Wednesday night?”

SF: “Sure. Blah blah blah I already beat you and will again blah blah no cheating blah blah. How’s that?”

MR: “Totally worthless.”

SF: “You’re too kind.”

MR: “Go hit the gym. Training schedule you know.”

SF: “Si, senorita.”

MR: “Ass.”

SF: “That’s Mr. Boss Ass to you.”

MR: “You’re in a good mood.”

SF: “Why shouldn’t I be? I’m theoretically the number two wrestler in the company behind Stank. I’m a third of the way to being a Six Pack champion.

“Hey, Moose has been rehired. Try to get him on the phone and see if he and Stank are interested in making a play for the Trios title. We should deserve a title shot after sweeping the Tournament a while back.”

MR: “I’ll make some calls. I’m not sure if Moose is taking calls though.”

SF: “Do your best. I’ll go try to find Stank. I’ll just follow the trail of discarded requests. One week on the job and he’s already inundated with piddly little things. At least this is something for him too.”

MR: “Good luck. Then get to the gym.”

SF: “Stank, gym, lunch. Not necessarily in that order.”

MR: “Stan.”

SF: “Yes, dear.”

MR: “Knock it off. You’re my boss and I’m your employee. Nothing more.”

SF: “Never claimed otherwise.”

MR: “Go.”

Fulton smiles as he leaves, Juan and Roberto following behind as we FADE.

[BookerShark]

~~~ Chad & Zane are sitting inside Ric's Sandwich Shoppe finishing lunch and discussing the recent events ~~~

Zane: .... I tell you I don't like it a bit. That man is out of his mind

Chad: At least Lisa is there. She'll be on our side

Zane: Excuse me if I don't trust the future of my career to that pillar of mental stability.

Chad: Hey man, you said yourself a while back she's different now.

Zane: NOW. I can't assume the future of her sanity until I see it.

Chad: ... ANYway. She's up there with Eco and President, so there's one person we can count on. Plus, Stank is pretty level headed.

Zane: I disagree. The man wearing the World Championship is not the same man we me when we came here in 2007. Don't forget, he was complicit in all of the crap with Poe & the Five. He did as much cowardly, sneak attacking bull crap to us as Moose did. He clearly doesn't like us. The fact that Lucas Mann will be in charge of our contract negotiation will cost me some sleep for sure.

Chad: Surely our record speaks for itself...

Zane: With Rick, sure. He was an idiot, but he knew we drew fans and pulled the lions share of the charity work. I'm not sure that Eco, or The President will see all of that.

Chad: What would they see?

Zane: Face it, we've gone in a little bit of a tailspin here lately.

Think back to when we came back. Since we finished off Stank & Poe and won the World Tag Team Championships, we dropped them to Tytan & Wrath, no rematch and no chance at redemption. That's a Loss.
I went on suspension right afterwards.
Came back and won the Championships again.
Turn around and take on Fulton & Folz. They didn't take our Championships, but we never got a real win over them. That's a Loss.
Then the problems with Moose & Stank. Lose the Championships. No Rematch, no real way to get any redemption. That's a Loss.
And now the series with the Hawaii'ans. That's a Loss.

I fear Stank, Eco & his lackey will look at that, point out the declining returns and use it to deny us our renewal.

Chad: Still, the records that we hold...

Zane:... won't mean a thing if we are gone.

Listen, I'm not saying we need to suck up or change who we are, but we do need to do one thing

Chad: What?

Zane: Start WINNING. Starting Tomorrow.

Chad: You got a deal man. Let's go, we need to go to the Destroyitarium.

Zane: The .. Wha?

~~~ CUT to the next scene....~~~

[BookerShark]

~~~ Cut to inside the Destroyitarium, and as we pan through we see Victor on his cell phone leaning on the jukebox. Danny is standing at the end of the bar listening to Spencer & Ashley, DH & Jack are off at a table arm wrestling, surrounded by a wall of empty bottles.

The door opens and Texpress walk in the door, wearing their Campeonas de Trios around their waists (like always) They take a seat at the bar and nod in DH’s direction. He returns the gesture, which causes him to lose the arm wrestling match to Jack. Victor stares at them the entire way, but does not stop his conversation. Danny wanders over and the girls slide behind the bar ~~~

Spencer: Something to drink fellas?

Chad: A couple of Aquafinas

Ashley: We don’t have any…

~~~ She is interrupted by Danny who puts his hand up and begins to point behind her, down and extends his arm to the left ~~~

Zane: I think He’s referring to the couple of cases of Aquafina I had sent over a while back. I was hoping they were still around.

~~~ Danny nods emphatically. Spencer disappears into the cooler ~~~

Zane: Danny, I want you to know that Chad and I were disgusted by the way your Championship Match ended up on Sunday.

~~~ Danny shakes his head slowly and balls up his fists. At this point Jack and DH take seats on the other side of Texpress as Ashley hands them each a fresh beer DH and Texpress exchange handshakes ~~~

Jack: Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelch! That’s Austrailian for No offense boys, but you coming in here this week is pretty questionable.

Chad: No worries mate. We’re not here for a fight, we’re here to shake your hands and tell you there’ll be no hard feelings between us after this is over

Zane: No one around here knows more about being screwed out of Championships than we do.

~~~ Victor hangs up his phone and joins the group. Spencer reappears with a couple of bottles of Aquafina ~~~

Spencer: Took me a while to find them. They were under all the empty crates in the corner.

~~~ Chad pulls out a couple of bills to put in the tip jar ~~~

Victor: Listen, if you want to show some real appreciation, you might offer Drink & Destroy a shot at those belts.

~~~ He gestures to the Campeonas Belts around their waists. Zane Pats his slowly and smiles at Victor ~~~

Zane: I told you a couple weeks ago. All you have to do is ask.

DH: We’re askin’ now

Chad: You know as well as we do who makes those decisions around here.

Jack: Don’t you think your partner will have something to say about this?

Zane: No. Davin will be on board

Jack: I don’t like him. I don’t trust him

Chad: Davin might be hard to take at times, but when it comes to Championships, he’s all business. He’s about WINNING.

Victor: Like the way you won those?

Chad: That sucked. Nothing we could have done about it. Look we’re not here to start a fight. You want a Championship Opportunity? You know who you need to talk with to make it happen. We can’t book our own matches.

DH: Wit’ who ‘s in charge now, no tellin’ when we’ll be gittin’ it.

~~~ Danny shakes his head slowly ~~~

Zane: DH, you know us as well as anyone. Jack, We’ve been in that ring together a number of times. Danny, We might not always see eye to eye, but we’ll be going out there this week looking to put on a wrestling clinic.

Jack: We ain’t exactly the technical type

Chad: That doesn’t mean we’ll have a bad match. Tough but fair. All we can ask.

~~~ Danny stands and points at Chad, then puts his thumb up and extends his hand. They shake hands all around, even Victor, who does so reluctantly. ~~~

[BookerShark]

Lucky meets Firewoman at the entrance to the arena, with lots of things that look like paperwork in his hands.

L: FINALLY! Do you know you have a match in less than 8 hours?

FW: Do you know I'm on the 'please search this person she might be a terrorist list?'

L: No...I mean, I'm not shocked, but...look, you need to sign all of this.

FW: Huh? Why?

L: All requires the commissioner's signature.

FW: Why didn't you sign it for me like you do everythng else?

L: Because I thought you said you were going to take this job seriously.

FW: I am but...Lucky, I don't even know what this job means.

L: Well, if you go through and sign all this that should give you a quick education.

FW: *glares* Fabulous...did Fulton get his Newcastle?

L: He did.

FW: Good.

L: What happened with....um...Moose's mother? It wasn't on OOWF-TV.

FW: Not everything needs to be televised it went...well, as well as can be expected.

L: No deaths?

FW: Not yet.

Firewoman turns down a hallway towards the Darling Luxury Suites. Lucky stops and waits a minute for her to notice he's not following her. She turns and walks back to him.

FW: What now?

L: Your office is this way.

FW: ...

L: ...

FW: I have an office?

L: C'mon....

They walk down the other hallway, Firewoman following Lucky until they come to a suite of rooms that say "Management" on them.

FW: Great, we're all in the same--

L: Yes, and one thing you should know....Ecosystem is no longer GM.

FW: No? That's awes-

L: He's now just the CEO.

FW: Wasn't he that already?

L: Maybe. He made...The President the general manager.

FW: Wonderful. And Stank?

L: Still...whatever was he made him.

FW: Well...that's good. Alright *sitting down at her desk* let's get on this.

Fire sits down and Lucky plops the papers in front of her. She grabs the first one, which is apparently the run sheet, and as she looks at it her eyes darken.

FW: What the fuck is this shit? Tytan? Really?

L: Oh yeah....

Before Lucky can finish, Fire goes storming out and up to CEOtheEcosystem's office, and barges in.

Eco: Fire! You're back. How was the visit with the family!

FW: Mind your own business. Why the hell are you putting me in a match with Tytan?

The commotion draws Stank from his office. Congrats Stank. You have an office too.

Eco: Are you kidding? Your feuds are epic! I'm thinking of putting out a DVD titled "Trinity's Traitors" and donating the proceeds to...well, me.

FW: So that's it....put the two of us together and watch us try to kill each other for your enjoyment.

Eco: Well, I will enjoy it, that's true. But just think of it, Lisa. *the tone of his voice changes just slightly* He's the one that helped me turn you into a mindless zombie. It was his idea all along, you know. The whole top-rope pile driver through a burning table? He wanted to kill you--

Firewoman appears to be intently listening to every word.

Stank: Fire.....FIRE?

Eco: But I told him that there was still hope for you, so he made me a deal. If you survived, he'd stand beside you. But he was hoping you wouldn't. I can play the tape for you if you like.

Stank: Dammit Juni, shut up.

Eco: And I know how much you blame HIM...blame TYTAN...and how much you want to GET EVEN WITH TYTAN....for making you do those terrible things....

Stank: Dammit that's enough.

Stank grabs Firewoman by the shoulders and shoves her out of the room.

Stank: *to Eco* I'll deal with you later. *he slams the door and stands with Fire outside.* Fire...FIRE?

FW: What?

Stank: Tell me you weren't listening to him.

FW: Uh...no...no I wasn't.....I'm......huh?

Stank: Lucky, take her back to the Darling Suites and...I dunno, see if Syd or Alex will come to the ring with her for the match so she doesn't do something.....wrong.

FW: I don't need--

Stank: Uh huh....and let's make sure that doesn't happen again.

Lucky nods as he escorts Fire back to her locker room. Stank watches them go for a bit, and then glares at the CEOtheEcosystem's door.

[BookerShark]

(Tytan catches the promo on OOWF-tv. He is sitting in his locker room alone.)

Tytan: Well it seems I now have to start the fight with management. But Firewoman come on; Juni I know this was all the work of your evil hands. Firewoman and I are through the wars we have had are done. Firewoman you are smarter then that don't fall for the smoke and mirrors.

Still if that is how it has to be then so be it. Firewoman I will see you in the ring and we will do this again.

(FADE)

[BookerShark]

Firewoman is WALKING~! down the Hallway of Random Encounters and runs into Tytan right after that.

Tyt: So... after this...we are done.

FW: We will never....EVER...be done.

Mutual Staredown for the photo op, with the Midweek Mayhem sign displayed conveniently between and slightly above them, until we FADE.

ETA: Mayhem signage.

[BookerShark]

*Hours later*

*Stank is walking down a regular hallway when he hears a monitor announce a message from The President. Stank walks over to the monitor and sees The President heavily bandaged lying on his hospital bed. The caption reads The Presidents inaugural address. Stank rolls his eyes.*

TP - Mr.CEO, Madam Commissioner, Corporate Champ and fellow citizens, I accept with humility the honor which the OOWF populace have conferred upon me. I accept it with a deep resolve to do all that I can for the welfare of this Federation and for the peace of the world. In performing the duties of my office, I need the help and prayers of every one of you. I ask for your encouragement and your support. The tasks we face are difficult, and we can accomplish them only if we work together. Each period of our Fed's history has had its special challenges. Those that confront us now are as momentous as any in the past. Today marks the beginning not only of a new administration, but of a period that will be eventful, perhaps decisive, for us and for the world. It may be our lot to experience, and in large measure to bring about, a major turning point in the long history of the human race. The first half of this Fed's lifespan has been marked by unprecedented and brutal attacks on the rights of-

*Stank walks away from the monitor and dials a number. Once again we only hear Stank's side of the conversation.*

Stank - First this shit with Firewoman and now... Yeah, perhaps I didn't make myself clear. I veto the decision you made appointing The President as GM... ... ... ... Why is he holding a press conference then?... ... ... Oh it wasn't your idea. ... .. ... ... We're not done discussing this... ... Eco?.. ECO??... JUNI!

*Stank ends the call.*

Stank - Bastard hung up on me.

*Stank enters the common area lobby of the sports pavillion. A number of OOWF officials, staff, and talent are milling about. Outside, we can see a large crowd of fans gathering. Some of the talent are there amongst them signing autographs. Stank spots Texpress and heads out the front door in their direction. Five yards away, Stank yells above the rabble of the crowd to get their attention.*

Stank - Hey! You two! C'mere!

*Zane ignores Stank. Chad holds up his hand suggesting Stank wait while they finish signing autographs. A small contingent of fans upon seeing Stank start to boo. The rest cheer and start chanting Stank's name. The big man ignores them and walks closer to Texpress tapping Zane on his shoulder. Zane whirls around ready for a fight. Stank narrows his eyes and says...*

Stank - Follow me, now!

Zane - You're not the boss of me!

Stank - We can't talk out here!

*Fans start to gather around Stank asking for his autograph. Stank ignores them while glaring at Zane. Chad looks up at Stank, yelling over the crowd.*

Chad - What do you want? Can't you see we're busy?

Stank - It's about your contracts.

*Zane implies a look at Chad which says "I told you so"*

Chad - We'll be back in two minutes folks.

*This statement elicits boos from the crowd. Stank smirks and turns to go back inside the sports pavilion. Texpress follows. Once inside Stank speaks.*

Stank - Listen, I don't like either one of you. I'd sooner beat you down than do you two any favors.

Zane - Great. Tell us something we don't know.

*Stank smirks.*

Stank - But I want to assure you that I will not screw you over with contract negotiations. The fact is the fans love you two. God only knows why. The bookers, the administration, they may look at your record, but I see hundreds of fans out there scrambling for your autographs. Your merchandise sales are amongst the highest and the fans continue to support you in any number of ways. If they want to continue to watch you two get your asses kicked by the likes of me or anyone else... we're all making money here. I'm not gonna fuck that up. Don't worry about it. We'll go over details next week when negotiations begin.

*Chad and Zane look at each other, then at Stank.*

Zane - That's it?

Stank - That's all I got to say right now.

*Zane turns and walks back outside. Chad lingers for a moment and holds out his hand.*

Chad - ... ... Thank you.

*Stank looks down at Chad's hand. He does not return the gesture, opting not to shake.*

Stank - No problem.

*Stank turns and walks away from Chad. Chad turns and walks back outside to join his partner. Stank continues around toward catering. Once he arrives, he walks up to Flair's sandwich stand and orders a sandwich and a coffee. While the attendant at the stand prepares the champ's order, Stank scans the tables where more OOWF staff, crew, and talent are sitting eating, talking and going over the business of the day. Just as he spies LD Williams sitting alone at a table in the back, his thoughts are interupted.*

"psst!"

*Stank whirls around and sees a lanky guy with a spiked mohawk and a long, braided, beard. The guy gestures for Stank to join him at the corner. Stank walks up cautiously while the guy looks around as if he's hiding from prying eyes. When Stank gets close his eyes narrow with recognition.*

Stank - Justin?

*The guy freezes and looks up at Stank.*

JS - SHHHH!

Stank - Justin what-

*The guy whispers, interrupting Stank.*

JS - Hey lemme borrow five dollars.

Stank - Huh?

JS - Hey, man! Lower your voice.

Stank - Justin what the fuck are you doing here?

JS - SHHHHH!

*Drink & Destroy are sitting at a nearby table. DVD looks up, hearing the shush. He looks over at Stank but only sees the champ, his large frame blocking Justin Sane from view. DVD turns his attention back to his colleagues.*

JS - Lemme borrow five dollars, man. I want a sandwich.

Stank - Why are we whispering?

JS - I don't want THEY to hear me, man.

*Stank rolls his eyes and turns to walk away. Justin grabs Stank's arm.*

JS - Okay, Okay, okay... four dollars.

Stank -

JS - Three?

Stank - I don't have any cash!

JS - I'll take a debit card.

Stank -

JS - How about a check? You got a check? Write me a check for two dollars and fifty cents. I'm good for it.

Stank - Let GO of me you IDIOT!

*Stank jerks his arm free and walks back toward Flair's Stand to pick up his order.*

JS - PSSSSST!!

*Stank stops short and drops his head. He slowly turns around and faces Justin Sane.*

JS - Lemme get a bite of your sandwich.

Stank - Go away... now.

*Justin Sane turns and walks away quietly. Stank turns and picks up his order. He heads over to LD Williams table where his fellow Five member sits and reads a newspaper. Stank sits across from LD.*

LDW - Lucas.

Stank - Billy Dee.

LDW - How's it going?

Stank - Did you see Justin Sane back there?

LDW - I've been seein him lurk around since Suriname.

Stank - Really? That long ago? Why hasn't anyone said anything?

LDW - Beats me.

Stank - I'm going to have to look him up, see if he is still under contract.

LDW - You're taking to your new position in the company fairly well. Hope it's not making you soft.

Stank - Ask Psykle if I'm becoming soft.

LDW - Hmmph.

Stank - Better yet ask me again after I kick your ass tonight.

LDW - Ha. We'll see.

Stank - Hey does this count as a promo?

LDW - I don't know. You're the expert. You tell me?

Stank - I suppose I should mention Chris Evans.

LDW - I think you just did.

Stank - This is not worth the postage.

LDW - $.59

Stank - Fifty-nine CENTS? Postage has gone up again?

LDW - What are you talking about?

Stank - Wait... were you talking about Canadian postage? That shit doesn't count. What is that, like... five cents U.S.?

LDW - Our dollar is still worth more than yours, moron.

Stank - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LDW - You are such an ass.

*Stank and LD Williams laugh. Stank takes a bite of his sandwich and a sip of his coffee. The BKK and entourage walk through the area.*

EOM - That's right bitches! The one and only VINCENT CHASE is in MY posse! Get updates from my twitter account via SMS by texting follow ericomac to 40404! HA!

*Stank looks over at LD Williams who does not make a move for his cellphone. Stank continues to stare at Williams.*

LDW - What?

Stank - I'm just waiting for you to pull out your phone.

LDW - That's going to be a long wait.

*Ten seconds later, LD Williams pulls out his cellphone and quickly texts something out of camera view. He then shoots the phone back in his pocket while Stank smiles and finishes off his sandwich.*

LDW - I was just texting Ma.

Stank - Right.

LDW - I WAS!

Stank - Okay.

*Stank spots Tytan walking over to Flair's sandwich stand. The Champ grabs his coffee and excuses himself from LD. He walks over to Tytan and taps him on his shoulder.*

Stank - Tytan... a word?

Tytan - As long as there is no pepper near by.

Stank - Don't you worry about that.

Tytan - I already know what you're going to say.

Stank - Good then I'll save my breath.

Tytan - You do that.

*Stank leaves Tytan, and opting not to go to his office, the champ walks back toward his locker room. Stan Fulton is walking with his peeps in tow the opposite direction. The two big men meet in the Hallway of Random Encounters.*

Stank - Crusher! Looking good.

SF - You too, Champ. Any chance we could discuss my contract?

Stank - All contract negotiations begin next week. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just make sure you retain that IC title tonight.

SF - You retain your belt as well. I would love nothing more than to face you for the World Title one on one.

Stank - Looking forward to it, Crusher. Take care.

SF - Adios.

*Stank continues down the hallway and soon hears Alexander Darling talking to Sydney. He ignores their conversation as he hears them getting closer. Stank arrives at his locker room before they are in sight and walks in. At the far wall, next to a potted plant, Stank spies Justin Sane watering it.*

JS - Hello. Let me water your plants. Please, while you're gone? Let me water your plants. It would mean so much to me, if you would just let me water your plants. Come on, you're not always going to be here! Somebody's gotta water them! Why.. why can't it be me? Please? Hey! Hey! Please? Let me water your plants.

*Stank distracted by the sight of Justin Sane neglects to close the door behind him. DVD wanders in as Alex and Sydney walk by oblivious, continuing their conversation as they walk on toward catering. DVD stands next to Stank and looks at Justin.*

DVD - Come on, let the boy water your plants!

Stank - No. We have staff for that... or I'll water them myself.

*Justin Sane waves his hand at Stank interrupting his words.*

JS - Hello?

Stank - What?

JS - Hi. Are you good? Good! Let me bring in your mail. While you're gone. Come on, please? Let me bring in your mail? There'll be so much mail in your mailbox while you're away. Let me bring the mail in the locker room for you. Come on, I'm already gonna be watering your plants! Just say yes to letting me bring in your mail. Please?

*Stank looks over at DVD in confusion.*

JS - Don't look away, look at me! I honestly and sincerely would like to bring in your mail.

DVD - He's a good hard-working boy! Let him bring in your mail!

Stank - Are you both nuts?

*Justin Sane waves his hand at Stank again.*

JS - Hey, look who's here! It's nice to see you again, you look great! Let me sleep on your couch.

*Stank shakes his head "no".*

JS - Don't shake your head no. Let me sleep on your couch. You're not even gonna be here half the time. Please let me sleep on your couch? Nothing weird's gonna happen. I'll sleep in the exact same position as you sleep. You can trust me. I'll even wash the cushions before you come back, how's that? Please?

DVD - SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, what is the HOLD UP?! LET the boy sleep on your DAMN COUCH! He said he'd wash your CUSHIONS!

JS - Please don't make me wash the cushions.

DVD - HE'S A CLEAN BOY! WASH YOUR OWN DAMN CUSHIONS, STANK! For GOD'S SAKES!

Stank - Get. Out.

JS - Let me stay with you, please? When you come back here, don't make me leave. Please, let me stay here with you? I'll push all my things in the corner. That'll be my little area. Please? I won't bother you. You won't even have to look at me. Please, let me stay with you, please? I'd like an answer, and I'd like that answer to be "yes". Please? I've already slept on your couch. If you didn't want me stay with you, why'd you let me sleep on your couch? Just let me stay here with you, please?

DVD - Can we STOP this CRUEL GAME! And allow the boy to keep ONE shred of diginity! For God's sake Stank, I can't STAND to see him in all this PAIN!!

Stank - huh?

DVD - You VICIOUS BASTARD!! Let him STAY with you!! Is it so bad to see somebody happy?! No..? So just let him STAY!! For the LOVE OF GOD, let the boy STAY with you, Stank!! GOOD LORD!!

JS - I'm not gonna beg you. My track record speaks for itself. I'm confident you'll make the right decision, champ.

*Justin Sane grabs the water bottle and leaves. Stank glares down at DVD who shrugs his shoulders.*

DVD - What? The kid obviously needs a break.

Stank - GetouttaHERE.

*Stank shoves DVD out the door as the camera fades.*

[BookerShark]

<Stank is standing in the room rubbing his eyes taking deep breaths. Just as he is about to calm down, his cell phone vibrates. Stank sighs and takes it out of his pocket and reads the text message......

He told me it's time to come back. The fun starts soon.

.....Stank flips his phone shut and shakes his head wearily, then a slow smirk spreads across his face.>

Stank: Fun indeed.

<fade>

[BookerShark]

Stank looks up from his phone and turns around to face Ecosystem

Eco: Hey there, Lucas.

Stank: Juni. Have you signed the paperwork yet on my veto?

Eco: I seem to have misplaced the papers for the time being. How's power treating you?

Stank: It's a bit of a pain, I have to tell you.

Eco: You seemed bothered by the way I was talking to Lisa earlier.

Stank: I wonder why.

Eco: (hopping up to sit on a table) You know what the best thing about being the villain is, Lucas? You get to decide who gets to be the hero. Take me at my word and not my actions for one moment. What did I claim to want for Lisa when we returned?

Stank: For her to be happy, peaceful? Yeah, real bang-up job there. Is cutting up your brother and husband in your Catholic Zen guide?

Eco: Let me pitch something to you, Lucas. A hypothetical.

There is a woman who has had a very difficult life. She was placed into many situations as a girl where she had to survive by violence. And no matter what situation she was placed in, how successful she was, how many people showed they loved her...she would eventually lash out, break the bonds, burn her bridges. Old enemies, new friends, all suffered.

So she needed an intervention. So in the short-term, that meant removing her, drugging her, compelling her into more peaceful habits to break the cycle. So the man that removed her came up with a plan. Drive her to dramatic acts of violence against those she loved, motivated not out of sadism, but her love for and loyalty to this man. And then, the big reveal. She was drugged. All this violence against those she loved was due to the whims of another. To accept that kind of violence would mean to accept this man's control over her...the only thing left to her is to reject that violence.

She has the chance to kill him in the middle of the ring. She doesn't. She clams it's because "she'll never be like him," invoking the "he" that is now associated with the violence. As a test, this man's buddy dumps urine on her, and she obeys the rules and saves her violence for the ring.

Thus, Lisa is saved. Mission Accomplished. I win.

Stank: ....

Eco: Well?

Stank: ...I don't believe you.

Eco: But you kind of do. You find it plausible.

Stank: ...I'm going to talk to Fire.

Eco: Sure thing. Remind her she has a press appearance with FOX Business at 5 PM?

Stank glares and exits.

Eco: Speaking of Mission Accomplished...put the poster up, will you?

Super Mario appears and hangs up Eco's new portrait.



Eco: Perfect. Now, let me prepare. Stan Fulton has something that belongs to me.

FADE