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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:33:06 GMT -5
Live! From Resolute, Nunavut, Canada!
OOWF World Title Match [/u]
Niles Anderson vs. Microplay
OOWF Intercontinental Title Match [/u]
Blackdragon vs. Corax
OOWF Tag Team Title Match [/u]
FF Capslock & Stank vs. Outback Jack & GatorBait
OOWF Onslaught Championship Match [/u]
Thim Reynolds vs. Uncle Entity
Chris Alt vs. Donovan Viper
LD Williams & Eric O'Mac vs. Johnny Adrenaline & Attitude Adjuster
Harper Camby vs. UnderDawg
3Piece Set vs. The Establishment
Tommy O'Neil vs. Capellan
Moosehead Jack & Concrete TG vs. SoulDragon & Mercury
Mark Vander vs. Mr. Jealous
wCw vs. Firechild & Seraph
Dr. Murder vs. Mikey Styner
Phil vs. GimmickMan
[edited to add a match]
The card is subject to change, but shouldn't, so long as a certain booker guy can get his shit together.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:50:17 GMT -5
The Bludgeoning
*Microplay is in his living room at home. He's studying Niles Anderson matches on his TV. All of a sudden, he hears something break. He gets up to examine the sound. As he turns the corner to enter the room the sound came from, he sees a masked man struggling to get through the broken window.*
MP - Oh, you're gonna regret th...
*A baseball bat cracks against the back of MP's knees. The masked man makes it through the window and kicks MP square in the jaw. MP falls on his back to see 2 more masked men. The baseball bat comes across his chest a few times as the others stomp him. MP is left an unconcious bloody heap as the 3 masked men high-five each other and leave his residence.
***********************************
Donnie Viper is seen in his lockerroom with an issue of Playboy in his hand. A smile creeps across his face as he flips through the pages. As the camera turns to look inside the magazine, it is seen that he has stopped turning the pages when a Marlboro ad featuring a musclebound, shirtless, sweaty man in a cowboy hat is herding cows while smoking a cigerette.*
DV - Now thats the image of a man in control.
*At that comment, the suppressed sound of a few guys laughing emenates from somewhere in the locker room. DV closes the magazine quickly and chucks it on the floor.*
DV - I mean, that centerfold was awesome, That bitches tits were huge.
*The suppressed laughter gets louder. DV gets up from his seat to investigate. He goes towards a row of 3 lockers where the sound is emenating from.*
DV - Harper? Tommy? Is that you guys?
*All of a sudden, the doors to the lockers burst open and 3 masked men jump out. DV screams like a girl and tries to run, but is quickly apprehended by the 3 and violently beaten. One of the masked men throws him against the lockers and starts slamming the door on his head. Another masked man comes over with the issue of Playboy rolled up and starts smacking an already dazed DV in the face with it. Masked Man #1 then grabs DV by the scruff of the neck and looks at him with intense eyes.*
MM1 - How do you like this, bitch?
He then smashes DV's head against the floor, effectively knocking him unconcious. The 3 men pick up his unconcious body and shove it in a locker, locking it. They then leave the room.
***********************************
*Canadian Dragon is working out on a punching bag. He is going at a lightning fast pace but barely breaking a sweat. He stops for a moment. In an instinctive move, he turns and does a spin kick, catching a masked man on the side of the head, causing him to fall flat on his ass.*
CD - Thought you could sneak up on me, did you?
*CD goes to pick up the masked man and motions to unmask him. All of a sudden, he is smashed in the back of the head with a barbell. CD crumples to the floor from the blow. He tries to look up only to see the masked man he had just hit accompanied by 2 more hovering above him. The one with the barbell swings at him one more time and all turns to black.*
***********************************
*Chris Alt is in a parking garage, while talking on the phone.*
CA - Yeah, I know I lost. Yeah, it was another cheap win. But it's all legal in the Cell... No, I probably won't get another shot for a while. I'm sure Niles will do whatever he can to make sure of that.
*Chris continues talking when he notices a black SUV driving slowly towards him. He stands to the side and motions for the vehicle to pass him. It obliges. As it passes, Chris tries to look in the windows, but it is difficult to see who is driving as they are all tinted. He continues walking.*
CA - Yes, I know I'm good. Niles is good too. I just need a clean match and I'm...
*The trunk of the SUV pops open and a lasso is tossed over CA. The SUV then hits the gas. CA jerks violently, dropping the phone as he is dragged around the parking garage for a short time. All of a sudden, the lasso rope goes limp and is thrown from the back of the SUV. Chris continues to fly across the parking lot until he hits a concrete wall. He soon blacks out.*
***********************************
*Concrete TG steps into the Resolute Nunavut arena and heads towards the ring. He is in full ring gear.*
CTG - Moose, you here? I got your message. I'm ready to practice.
*There is no answer. CTG approaches the ring apprehensively. His footsteps echo throughout the ring. He steps between the ropes and goes to the centre.*
CTG - Jack? What's going on? Where are you?
*All is silent.*
CTG - He must be late.
<distorted voice> - or he's not coming at all.
*CTG turns around quickly, but not quick enough before a steel chair crashes over his head. He falls to the mats, but tries to get up. His effort is met by another hit to the head with the steel chair. CTG tries again only to recieve yet another blow to the head. His vision is blurry at this point. He can only make out enough to see that his attacker is unmasked, but can't make out any facial features. The chair comes across his face again and his vision goes red. He is completely limp, but still semi-concious. CTG feels himself being dragged across the ring. Something metal clamps onto his wrist with a small click. The same click is heard moments later striking the ring ropes. CTG realizes that he has been handcuffed to the ropes.*
<distorted voice> - If Moose won't take care of you, I guess somebody else has to.
*CTG tries to clear his bloodied, blurry vision. He does it just in time to see the cold blue steel of the chair smash across his face once again. And again. And again. His vision is completely black now. Still semi-concious, CTG tries one last time to get up.*
<distorted voice> - Persistant little fucker, aren't we?
CTG <struggling with his now lispy voice> - At least... I... look a man in the face... before I attack...
*The last thing CTG hears is a the rush of wind before feeling the final thwack of the steel chair. All is black afterwords.*
***********************************
*Hardbody Harris is walking down the street when a swarm of Sexy Female Journalists swarm him.*
SFJ1 - Hardbody, take me home!!!
SFJ2 - No take ME!!!
HH - Ladies, ladies, there's enough of me to go around. However, I gotta say, while I got loving to spare, you might want to try your hands at Beast. If you think I'm good, well, my abilities pale in comparison to his.
SFJ3 - But Beast is so brutish?
HH - But he's also a brute in the sack! However, for now, I shall...
*The SFJ's all scream as a singapore cane cracks HH across the back of the head. The 3 masked men start stomping on him. Once they are content that he is not getting up. The 3 men leave.
Fade to Black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:50:36 GMT -5
Capellan and Underdawg are seen talking.
Underdawg: Looks like you and I, we're facing members of the Devil's Brigade next week.
Cap: Yeah. But as dangerous as they can be, what about this sudden wave of attacks on all the top contendors to the World Championship?
UD: Cowards, they are. It's fairly obvious who these cretins are. And there's something even more obvious.
Cap: What's that?
UD: Those three in black... They wouldn't DARE try to pull this with me. They know it'd be the worst mistake they'd ever made.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 14:51:19 GMT -5
<Jack is walking throug hte Resolute arena carrying his bag over one shoulder, as he passes by a monitor, he sees the brutal attack on Concrete>
MHJ: What the hell....?
<Jack drops his bag and heads to the ring, the man in black sees Jack heading down the ramp and leaves out of the ring just as Jack gets there. Jack goes over to Concrete, who is a bloody mess. Jack shoots one more furious glance to the man in black, then the camera fades out>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:17:08 GMT -5
Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster are reading the OOWF Internet Web site, where the headline news story screams about the bloody beatings perpetrated by three masked men.
AA: Wow, good thing we were spared from such horrid beatings, huh Johnny?
JA: So true, AA. After all, since it was all the leading contenders for the OOWF Heavyweight title who got wacked, surely those wicked masked men would have tried to attack Niles next.
AA: Yeah, it’s a good thing we were in the, hehe, interview area, teaching Niles how to cut promos just like the #1 PROMO TEAM IN THE OOWF!
JA: And it’s a good thing we taped our segment, complete with a video date and time stamp that shows we were nowhere near the scene of these awful crimes.
AA: After all, it’s common knowledge that video date and time stamps can’t be tampered with, right Johnny? So let’s roll the footage of what will surely be the #1 PROMO TRIO OF THE OOWF!
______________________________________
The video fires up to show Johnny and AA standing in front of schoolroom blackboard. Niles is sitting in a elementary school chair/desk combination, with the OOWF title laying on the desk. Niles has a three-ring binder on top of the belt for note-taking.
AA: Glad you could make it Niles, at precisely 4:38 p.m. Pacific/7:38 p.m. Eastern on July 25, 2005 just like the video time and date stamps says.
(Johnny grimaces and gives AA a look of disdain.)
AA: What!?! Just noting for history’s sake. You never know when we might have to prove where we were at this time…
JA: Man, will you just shut up about the time!
AA: But Niles said we wanted to make sure …. Oh, I get it. OK, we won’t talk about how it’s 4:38 p.m. Pacific/7:38 p.m. Eastern on July 25, 2005 any more.
(Niles turns back to a camera behind his shoulder and gives a “Can you believe I’m going along with this?” look. Meanwhile, Johnny strolls to the blackboard with a pointer stick in his hand.)
JA: Rule No. 1 of great promos: BE YOURSELF. If you’re a chickenshit heel, always be a chickenshit heel. If you’re 100 Pure Male, then be 100 Pure Male. If you’re Ric Flair, then BY GAWD NILES THE OOWF CHAMPION ANDERSON, be Ric Flair!
AA (sporting a graduate’s cap and gown): Rule No. 2. DON’T PANDER TO THE CROWD. Watch this video as an example. (A video tape of John Cena appears. He raps about poop, waves his hand in front of his face and talks about being real with his “Chain Gang.”)
JA: What’s up with that outfit?
AA: Exactly my point. The baggy shorts, the Flavor Flav chain around the neck, the stupid-ass walk…
JA: Actually, I meant your cap and gown. But you make a good point. That guy’s not #1 PROMO MATERIAL.
NA: Is that P. N. News? I always wondered what happened to him. He’s lost weight.
(JA and AA look at each other, realizing the job at hand.)
JA: Rule No. 3. MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE. This is the best part of promos. Get cheap heat by dissing home towns. Riff on your opponent’s mother. Mock anyone who signs autographs for children and sick people. Kick over a wheelchair or two. Trust me, these are surefire promo gimmicks.
AA: Johnny, may I offer than you just broke Rule No. 1?
JA: What’s that?
AA: You’re wearing a polo shirt and carrying around golf clubs. You’re not allowed to use the word “diss” in any tense.
JA: Your momma!
AA: You signed an autograph for a little girl with cancer!
JA: This town sucks!
AA: You don’t even know where we are!
JA: WHOOO!!!!
AA: WHOOO!!!!
RF: WHOOO!!!!! WHOOOO!!!!! (Ric chops the blackboard, rips off his jacket and struts across the room.) I TOOK YOUR SCHOOL TEACHER TO SPACE MOUNTAIN, FAT BOY!!!!!!
NA: Guys, guys! This is getting out of control. Is there really any point to this?
JA: Good question. Let’s see. We made fun of John Cena…
AA: Check.
JA: We wasted about five minutes of our reader’s time when they should have been working.
AA: Check.
JA: Ivan Lendl.
AA: Yep, he’s a Czech.
JA: Nope, this we accomplished everything here. Let’s grab our gear and get to beating down some OOWF super…
NA: Stop! Stop!! Stop!!!!!!! You putzes almost gave away the secret! You two are idiots! How do you survive without getting your asses handed to you every week?
AA: Survive? How do we survive? HOW…DO…WE…SURVIVE? Two words for you.
JA: Ric. Flair.
RF: DAGWOOD…BY GAWD…SPECIAL ON SOUR…MEAN GENE…DOUGH!!!! WHOOOO!!!!!
NA: Yeah, I gotta give you guys that one…
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:18:04 GMT -5
The OOWF crew are at the hospital where Microplay has been sent to, after a brutal attack at the hands of 3 annonymus masked men. Microlay can barely move, but the camera crew have caught up with him, as he has regained consciousness. As he continues to be stretchered out into a facility room in the hospital, Skeem Gene tries to get a word in with the challenger for the OOWF title.
Skeem: Microplay...
Microplay: Get those cameras away from me...Get...get out!
(Microplay tries to cover the cameras, while still in extreme pain)
Microplay: I said...get outta here! I'm going to get that Niles Anderson at midweek Mayhem, i guarentee it...!
(That's about all the challenger is able to muster-up, as he gets sent in into a facility room, while cameras fade).
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:18:31 GMT -5
<Moosehead JAck is storming down the hall of the Resolute Arena, ahead of him we see Niles Anderson staring lovingly at his world title, before JAck gets there Niles sees him coming>
NA: Hey hey! It's Moosehead Jack! Damn shame about your partner, he should really be more careful OOOOHF
<Jack shoves Niles against the walls. When Jack speaks he can barely control his rage>
MHJ: Shut up Niles! Look everyone knows you and your Bitch Boys did the attacks, normally I would congratulate you on a job well done. You took out everyone who was a threat to your title. But you didn't stop there, you had to attack Concrete. Niles, I am going to say this to you one more time, stay out of my business and out of my way. You keep getting messing with me and I swear to all that is Holy, I will make ending your career MY business. Trust me.
<Jack shoves Niles against the wall one more time then leaves, as Jack walks away Niles mumbles something under his breath and smirks, then goes back to loving his title>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:18:55 GMT -5
(CTG is getting bandaged up in the infirmary as Moose marches in)
CTG: >.o Moose?
Moose: (Glower) good, you're awake. I already know who did this.
CTG: (wince) I have some guesses......
Moose: And I have the truth. Niles, Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster.
CTG: (sighs) dammit, AA......
Moose: You're not the only one with traitors in your midst..... I just gave Niles his last warning
CTG: >.< (flops back a moment) you're getting soft, Moose, he was still conscious?
Moose: (smirks) that's an odd statement coming from you
CTG: >.o why? we're thinking the same thing
Moose: payback?
CTG: Justice?
Flair-> (Barges in) TUNA AND BACON WRAPS, FAT BOY! WHOOO~!!!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:19:48 GMT -5
<Jack and COncrete continue to munch on the sandwiches Flair gave them and continue the conversation> MHJ: Look, I know it looks like I have gotten soft, I have been reduced to giving warnings, it is sad I know. CTG: So why'd you do it? Why didn't you just beat the snot out of Niles and be done with it? MHJ: <after a long pause> I haven't beaten Niles bloody yet because once I do, then that's it. Remember when you and I were trying to kill each other over the Intercontinental title a few months ago? CTG: Yeah, still got the scars from all that/ MHJ: Well that is nothing. When you and I fought, I didn't like you, I didn't like what you stood for, I didn't like what you represented. But deep down inside, I respected you. I respected your toughness, I respected your willingness to go all out to keep that title. CTG: and? MHJ: Niles Anderson is a piece of crap. I have no respect for him at all, it goes way past dislike, it is a deep, festering hatred for that man. CTG: So, use that to take him out. Seems pretty simple. MHJ: That's just it Crete, it's not that simple. Once Niles crosses that line, once he pushes me too far, that's it, it's over. There is no more Concrete TG and Moosehead Jack tag team, it can no longer exist. Once Niles crosses that line, he is not just bringing he and I into hell, it is going to be all out war. Niles, Johnny, AA, Beast, and lord knows who els he will pull to his side, on the other side, it's me, Williams, Eric, and you, and I think Morte and Endo, but those guys are free to decide their fate. In the end, there won't be any titles to be won, all there can be is blood and gore. I am fine with that myself, but it's not just me and Niles, he is hell bent on war. <fade to black> |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:20:11 GMT -5
*The lights go down. Then the familiar "YEEAAAHHHHHH!!!" followed by the bumping bass of Lil Jon's "What you Gon Do" starts blaring. Niles comes to the ring to deafening boos, title over his shoulder, cocky smile on his face. He steps between the ring ropes and starts posing for the crowd, sucking in their deep loathing of him before he grabs the mic. His music stops and he puts the mic to his mouth to speak, but stops as the boos continue. His smile gets wider. He is truly enjoying this. Finally, the boos die down a bit and Niles goes to speak again.*
Niles - Love me or hate me, I still have this.
*Niles raises his belt on that note and the crowd boos once again.*
Niles - You know, there seems to be a lot of talk going around these days. Since that... how should I put it... Epic beatdown of all the major contenders to the title, a lot of people have jumped to some conclusions. Seems people think that myself, Attitude Adjuster and Johnny Adrenaline are behind it. Well, I took the liberty to go through the footage of each beatdown and made this. Roll the tape.
*The Large-O-Tron plays a montage set to the tune of "You are so Beautiful". In the montage, we see Microplay catching the masked man crawling through the broken window. Cross-fade to MP being kicked in the jaw. Cross-fade to Masked Man holding Donnie Viper by the scruff of the neck and then pounding his head mercilessly into the floor. Cross-fade Canadian Dragons POV of the 3 masked men standing over him as the barbell blacks him out. Cross-fade to the Concrete being smoked by a steel chair by an unseen attacker. Cross-fade to Chris Alt being dragged from behind the SUV and then flying into the wall. Etc, etc, etc. End of package.*
*Merciless booing from the crowd at his point as Niles wipes his eyes and maintains his smile.*
Niles - always brings a tear to my eye. But see, I have a point to this overlong promo. And my point is this: weren't those men wearing masks? Uh, excuse me, considering not one of the attackers was unmasked at any point, who the hell can say they KNOW I was behind it. And also, I saw 3 masked men. Last I checked, I travelled in a crew of 4. While Beast has had his own issues lately, do you honestly think I'd do something this big without him?
And finally, this message goes out to you, Moose: You arrogant piece of shit. You do whatever you can to try and find a way to undermine me. You always find a way to make me "trust" that you're better than me. Well, last I checked, I hold the big strap my friend. And what fucking gold have you ever held around your waste? You failed at getting the IC, so you team up with the guy who you could never beat so that you can fail at getting the tag straps. You fail at keeping the Establishment together because you can't lead by example. See, thats why you and I don't see eye-to-eye: because I'm the one success the Establishment ever produced. And then you failed at keeping me in.
Eco left because the Establishment was a lost cause. Grunt and LI left because they were crap to begin with. Endo and Morte left because they realized they were on a sinking ship. And now you're left with you're failure and you're joke of a partner. And I have surpassed you.
Moose, this isn't a call to war. This isn't even an ultimatum. This is a stay-the-fuck-out-of-my-way. We are done now. I am here to put the final nail in the coffin of the joke that was The Establishment. Don't make me put the final nail in the coffin of the joke that is you. You're Fredo to my Michael, you're dead to me. When we pass in the halls, don't think to so much as look me in the eye let alone talk to me. You pursue you're little league "tag" titles while I play with the big boys. And maybe one day, you'll come close to being in my league.
*Niles drops the mic and his music goes off again as he exits the ring.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:20:32 GMT -5
<Moosehead Jack is sitting in a darkened room lit by only the glow of a monitor that just showed Niles promo. The promo ends and the picture on the TV changes to snow. After several minutes of heavy silence, Jack kicks the TV over sending the room into darkness. After a few seconds the single light bulb clicks on and Jack speaks>
Niles, a wise man once said "all the tyrants of the world never invented a worse torment than jealousy." When it comes time for us to meet face to face in the ring, and that time will inevitably come your actions guarantee that, I can hurt you, I can break your bones, leave you bloody, twisted and mangled. But there is nothing that I can do to you that will cause you more pain than you feel now. You are a jealous man Niles. It eats at you that I have earned respect in the ring while winning no titles, while you, the World Champion, have earned nothing.
Let's take a look back Niles, think back to when you were recruited to the Establishment. I said from day one, there was no leader, I was not the leader of the Establishment. I said from day one that you were the man to bring the world title to the Establishment. You were chosen, you had our support.
But that just wasn't enough. Sure enough, you win the World Title, you bring the gold to the Establishment, just like we knew you could. But that wsn't enough, you had to start taking shots at me, you threw your weight around, you forgot that without the Establishment, without someone watching your back, you were nothing.
Need proof? You walked away from the Establishment and right away you have Attitude Adjuster planted firmly on your ass, before long Beast is there, then Johnny Adrenaline. You can't do it on your own.
And all this time, all this time you defend your title, and I am chasing the tag titles, something is festering inside you. In your mind, you see me as a threat. A threat to your title, and a threat to your career. Well Niles, you are right. See, half the battle is already won, I am already in your head. When we meet in the ring, I will win the other half of the battle. YOu know damn well you can't beat me.
But, that's not the point is it? It's not about who can beat who in the ring. It's all about respect. I said it earlier, you are a piece of shit, I have zero respect for you or those clowns you run with. But you talk a good game, you set up attacks, and lets face it, we all know it was you. You thump your chest and warn me to stay out of your business. That's fine.
Niles I have said it before, our time will come, sooner rather than later. If you value your title, if you want to stay the champ, it would be wise for you to stay out of my business as well, and right now, my business includes Concrete and the tag team titles. You have it in your head that I undermine you, keep pushing me and you will see what it means to be undermined. I will take all you have and destroy it, your title, your crew, your career, everything the Establishment helped you achieve, the Establishment can take away again.
You think about that. Think about the consequences of your actions, think real hard about your next move. It could mean your career. Trust me.
<Jack clicks off the light sending the room into darkness>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:20:57 GMT -5
*Camera fades from black to a room covered in darkness.*
CD: "There's two type of people in this world Niles. Those whose who have and those who want. the sad thing...the sad thing about you and your title run Niles is that you're still one of the people who are left wanting."
*Quick cut to a replay of the attacks.*
CD: "See you want the respect that should come with being champion. You want every one to know how good you are. But even more you want to convince yourself you are the best."
*Cut back to Dragon.*
CD: "See a person can overcome fear and over whelming odds. But can you overcome your doubt Niles? Can you prove to yourself that you are the best? When you are all alone do you know deep down that you would be where you are without the help of others? When you hold that title does it feel right?"
*Another quick cut to Niles winning the OOWF title.*
CD: "See Niles, I know the truth. I know that you'd give anything to convince everybody that you are the best. And I know you'd give up even more to convince yourself. Yet still in the back of your mind there's fear. Fear that on a whim those who protect you won't be there. Fear that when it's all said in done you'll have convinced no one and lost your soul."
*Another cut to a close-up of Dragon's eyes.*
CD: "does it keep you awake at night Niles? Because it should. You are going to lose your title Niles. And deep down you know there's nothing you can do to stop that."
*Camera fades to black.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:23:13 GMT -5
*Backstage Ric Flair is talking with a random backstage flunky.*
RF: "You see, every sandwich can be a meal...but only some of them get to be legends. Take my Super Hero Sandwich. It's so good it has to be made a day in advanced."
RBF: "Ummm, but I thought you wanted us all to eat fresh!"
*Flair's face gets red as he takes off his jacket. He tosses the jacket at the flunky and does the Flair-strut.*
RF: "Are YOU trying to correct me? You think you know what makes a great sandwich? You think you are willing to slave, slice and dice in a kitchen for 10hrs in pursuit of perfection? While you were in kindergarten putting crayons up your nose I was in Italy mastering the Stuffed Italian Sandwich. Last night while you were trying to make a PB & J and failing miserably, I was having a picknick on space mountain with your old lady who couldn't get enough of my foot long hoagie! So don't you ever correct me again! You've got that fatboy!"
*As Flair is verbally assulting the flunky Canadian Dragon walks to the sandwich table.*
CD: "You know something Ric. You need to come down. We all know you're a Wheeling-Dealing-Kiss-Stealing-Sandwich-Making-Manboobsshaking-son of a gun! Just relax. Or is all the cheese giving you gas or something? Because seriously I'm almost positive your eyes are going to pop out of you head. And does that vain always twitch like that?"
RF: "Great. If it isn't the FORMER OOWF champion. Why don't you step away from the bread and let a REAL man make the sandwiches!"
CD: "Ric, I'm not hear to talk turkey on rye...I'm hear to talk about Midweek Mayhem. You see, I'm medically cleared to wrestle, Ric. And oddly enough even though I'm cleared I've been asked not to show up. Do you know why the OOWF would want CANADIAN Dragon to wrestle at a Canadian Event? It wouldn't be because of the match between Niles and Microplay would it?"
*Flairs laughs and titls hs head as he smiles.*
RF: "I'm not sure what you're trying to say. I'm mean the great Canadian Hero wouldn't interfere in the main event. Regardless if he hates Niles and Micro. I mean, I'm sure these past few weeks as you've called Niles' matches you've seen why Niles is the man."
CD: "You know what...I think I need one more match to see how good Niles is. But this time..."
*Dragon steps real close to Flair. And holds up a ticket.*
CD: "...I'm gonna watch the match from my ringside seat. Eat that...fatboy!"
*Camera fades to black as Flair goes nuts and starts tossing lettuce all over the place.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:23:39 GMT -5
*a very beastly hardbody harris comes out to the ring and grabs a mic*
HH: you know, the beast and i have had this thing going between us for quite a bit of time. he would say he's the superior wrestler, i would say i am. and i'm sure you all think that i am out here now to proclaim that once again.
well you're wrong.
let it never be said that hardbody harris can't admit when he is wrong. i've had my doubts through this entire feud. always thought maybe i just picked the wrong fight. but i guess tonight just proved it. the beast made short work of that superstar mark vander, while i couldn't even beat a measly little nothing like microplay. he won. i lost. so i'm here to say it, in front of all you people: hardbody harris is the #2 SUPERIOR WRESTLER IN THE OOWF!
thank you.
*hardbody puts down the mic and walks to the back.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:25:53 GMT -5
Stank happens by the sandwich table just dodging a head of lettuce.
Stank - Excuse me Ric. Can I get a space mountain special?
RF - WOOOOO! Sorry fatboy! We're all out of bacon, WOOOO!
Stank - Dammit! Ok, fine. Give me a...
RF - OVEN ROASTED CHICKEN ON ITALIAN HERBS & CHEESE! WOOOOO!
Stank - How... How did you know?
RF - I am the NATURE boy! Sixteen TIME WORLD champion. You don't win championships without knowing your opponents next move, woooooooooooo.
Suddenly, Outback Jack and Gatorbait appear on the scene, chairs in hand. Before they can blindside Stank, striking his large frame, Stank holds up his hand.
Stank - Freeze!
OBJ and GB pause mid-swing.
Stank - I've already been jumped this week and quite frankly I'm tired of it.
OBJ - I don't think you get the CONCEPT of a bushwhacking. You see, in order to pull off a good jump you must catch the victim...that would be you, Stank...mostly unaware, thereby facilitating maximum damage.
GB - Yeah, and you can't just turn around and say "freeze" while we stand here an debate the issue. We should just proceed to beat you down. Especially considering our recent string of losses. We're trying to send a message here. Don't be disrespectful.
Stank - Disrespectful? You're kidding right? Let's just say I hadn't turn around and saw this coming. Let's say I just LET you bumrush me and take me out. What then? Would it have changed your record? Would it guarantee you victory next week? No. Of course it wouldn't. You know why?
GB - Cause you're just stalling until your partner can sneak up behind us and even the odds?
Stank - A little thing I learned from that homo Donavan (not that there's anything wrong with that) Viper.
FF Capslock clubs OBJ in the back of the head. GB turns to swing the chair at FFC but Stank yanks it out of GB's grasp then slams it hard, down on GB's head. FFC lifts OBJ up for a powerbomb...
Stank and Ric Flair - NO... NOT THE SANDWICH TABLE!
Too late as FFC POWERBOMBS Outback Jack THROUGH THE SANDWICH ANNOUNCE TABLE!
RF - Ah nuts.
Stank - Well... I guess I'll be going to Subway.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:26:18 GMT -5
<MHJ walks into the locker room he shares with CTG and slumps into a chair in the corner. Across the room Concrete is watching a replay of the match, stopping and rewinding part of the match>
...Again, he lifts CTG up for the power bomb, but this time MHJ hits him with the heart punch. FFC falls back, but it sends CTG flying to the floor, and he crashes hard into the guardrail. ..
MHJ: What are you doing?
CTG: watching our match with the champs.
MHJ: Yeah, we lost. We'll get another shot.
CTG: That all?
MHJ: You think I'm happy about it? Hell no. They are a good team and they took advantage of a mistake and won. We can beat them though.
CTG: A mistake huh, you sure it was a mistake?
MHJ: What are you talking about?
<CTG rewinds the tape again and shows Jack the part he was watching>
MHJ: So what, you think I did that on purpose? I was trying to save your ass from being powerbombed.
CTG: I had just gotten out of one earlier, I would've gotten out of this one as well, but because of you I was dropped over the top rope.
MHJ: Yeah, but you know what, where were YOU when I was getting pinned?
CTG: I HAD JUST BEEN DROPPED OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!!
MHJ: Please, I have seen you take sicker bumps than that and get right back up.
<by now both men are standing nose to nose yelling>
CTG: I know you are just setting me up
MHJ: Dammit, this again? How many times do I have to tell you, I want to win the damn tag titles. I am not setting you up, I had noting to do with Semaj and I am not going to risk suspension by cheap shotting you
CTG: I never said a word about Semaj
MHJ: I know you think it was me.
CTG: Well where were you when it happend?
MHJ: What? Are you serious? Look Crete, I have damn near killed myself trying to make this work, and I'm done. I have little bitches like Niles and his flunkies trying to punk me out, I have Capslock doubting me, and why? All because I think you and I can rule this tag division. Six months ago I wouldn't have heard a peep from them, now, because I am teaming with you, they feel free to run their mouths. That stops now. The old more violent Moosehead Jack is coming back, either you can come along for the ride and we win some tag team gold, or YOU can break the contract and take a vacation. It is up to you.
<Jack kicks over the monitor and leaves the room>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:31:41 GMT -5
* FFC is looking at the carnage of the sandwich table when he is struck from behind by Stank propelled by a massive headbutt from an enormous moose. A grizzly bear and a mountain lion then hit the CALL OF THE WILD on each of them in rapid succession, and then a panda drops a leg on both of them (because how much OMG~workrate can you expect from a panda!).
An ancient Native American man whistles, and the animals retreat, as OBJ and GB slowly get on their feet with help from Wally.
OBJ: Where the hell were you?
WBK: Sorry I had to leave you guys on your own for a while, but I was organizing a new business arrangement.
Iron Eyes: Hey, Wally, I worked up an appetite while your administrative assistant was "smoking the peace pipe", you know.
RF: Wahoo McDaniel, whooooo! Turkey and Swiss on rye! Whoooooo!!!!!!!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:32:03 GMT -5
(CTG marches out of the room after MHJ)
CTG: Oh no you don't!
MHJ: (stops) oh no I don't what?
CTG: First of all, don't you EVER doubt my interest and appetite for gold! I wanted those tag belts as bad as you did, but YOU, even before the match, planted a seed of doubt.
MHJ: .......
CTG: I'm well aware of how you operate, Moose, and your suggestion of "Trust me" rings very hollow these days. What you're going to have to do, Moose, is give me ONE GOOD REASON to trust you. There's too much at stake in the OOWF in every division, and weakening the possible reunion of the AYUFF fits right into your agenda.
MHJ: (Sighs) crete, the Establishment and the AYUFF are dead. What happened to Semaj sucks, but even I don't hate anyone that much. Except maybe Niles when he's running his mouth, but you haven't seen me blow HIM up yet.
CTG: (Crosses arms) Then answer my question - prove to me that I can trust you.
MHJ: I would think not attacking you would have been enough
CTG: you made sure the punishment was greater than the crime. But if you want to succeed, all doubt will have to be erased.
MHJ: O.o
CTG: Our contract requires that we not attack each other. That doesn't include our training and practice. I'd like to see HOW much I can trust you. If you've got time, we'll go back to my gym.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:32:59 GMT -5
FF Capslock and Stank barge into the Rick's office. Rick is on the phone.
GMtR - Yeah, they're standing in front of me now... well now we're counter suing... your clients aren't actually acting civil... SO WHAT they're WILD Animals! They seemed pretty tamed earlier when they attacked my employees... Well now the whole basis of your suit has fallen apart. The animals are obviously TRAINED wrestlers and my employees can't be found at fault... OH YEAH... JUST TRY IT!
Stank - Ric we...
GMtR - Before you even start... that was the World Wildlife fund on the phone. I think they'll drop their suit. We just have to establish that the animals were trained in the art of wrestling BEFORE you guys were using them for a workout... and I can't believe I'm taking part in THIS silly angle.
FFC - You bet your ass they were trained. The Panda hit me with a LEG DROP. And the others executed the CALL OF THE WILD on us repeatedly. Once... I can see, but THREE TIMES each? C'mon
Stank - Yeah it makes you wonder if the Aussies trained the animals or did the animals train them?
FFC - It wasn't those bloomin onions that trained those animals... it was Tatanka.
Stank - You mean the guy who looked like Tatanka?
FFC - Whatever. We need to find him.
GMtR - Well then by all means... get out of my office. Go find your Native American.
Stank - I know just where to start. When you want to find something there's only one man in the OOWF who can find it for you.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:34:34 GMT -5
*Ooutback Jack, Wally B. King, and Iron Eyes are all enjoying their respective sandwiches served up by "The Sandwich Man" Ric Flair... GatorBait moseys into the locker-room and opens his lap-top*
GB: I've GOT to find out why we lost AGAIN!... I'd be willing to bet there was more un-perceived interference than we thought... time to get the trusty Japanese transcript...
*on the screen*
As for 3 parts the jack of the hinterland and the feed hostility of GATOR as for OBJ and the crith Cole which are thing is begun. As for the conventional mat which struggles going profit OBJ pulls out the place where Cole is good by all means. Being disappointed, Cole is attached with the person of the ax, he tries the fact that you take that in the jack. Luck for that, therefore he goes, attaches to Cole. But it enters into that corner or, comparatively, the person of Cole and the ax rushes the both OBJ, strikes him in the land. The feed of Gator jumps, in the person, and quarrel of the ax throws head two outside the ring. Next as for Gator in the stick in ring step and slingshots him you close the ax sufficiently. That between several parts should make thing fair. It hits to slam of the sidewalk where with the ring, as for OBJ it recovers control, the drag 2 of Cole and is splendid and sees. He does not burst the movement sufficiently. Irish rod and Cole the large boots are eaten, the boots whose OBJ is large being Australia because of pain we have known entirely. The bill to the feed of Gator which is worried for actually conduct. When OBJ exposes the rib of Cole, enters into the kicking whose Gator is splendid in that knee, Cole is sent simultaneously. You connect slam of the shovel. Gator goes to the rope for momentum, but as for the person of the ax it is thing there which makes him stumble and some reason which means that he excessively speaks while using in OBJ being, ref does not look at that naturally. Fool ref. While being Gator, Cole how, doing that it crawls to that methodological corner, the ax which directly takes assault and lasting dropkick of the elbow in small-numbered control that tried enters. As for extension of the abdomen as for Gator now it has been hurt in the injury including insult. Crowd the hip the ax begins the hitting and energy transfer to the feed of Gator which jumps in OBJ of throwing and expectation. He is, the house burning, two degrees, but one time does not hit to 3 times to the person both necessary clotheslines of Cole or the ax. The ax, however, is the legal person, he eats the head bat. However some reason, the panda comes, as for everyone whom it walks under the ring that strangely seeing. The panda is rare in Canada. While everyone is confused, however, bat for the baseball where the child of the fire has been attached under the person of the ring and the hatchet and others the chicken wire hugely and certain thumbtacks which is recorded to that it will be secretly. The ax does possum, but when OBJ choosing him going he spatters that KABONGS OBJ absolutely. As for Gator Cole and the panda those which while using, happen even excessively see, 25:58 easy 1-2-3 to count the winner, ref sets 3 parts
*GB Gasps*
GB: OBJ! WALLY! IRON EYES! Get In Here!
OBJ: What is it, mate? I was just about done with my roo-tail and meunster on sourdough.
GB: Look at this screen! Not only did Panda show up out of nowhere, but it looks like Bat and Possum showed up, too!
OBJ: ...
WBK: ...
IE: (0)(0)
GB: I think I was distracted by how big Panda was that I failed to see the smaller, sneakier Bat and Possum interfere! Sorry about that! I'll pay better attention in out match with FFC and Stank!
*fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:34:57 GMT -5
(CTG and MHJ enter the abandoned gym)
CTG: suit up, I need to set things up out here.
MHJ: (nods and goes to the locker room to change)
(when Moose comes out, he finds weapons of all types around the ring on the floor or sitting on chairs and tables)
MHJ: O.o what's all this?
CTG: this is where I want to see if there is trust to be had, Moose.
MHJ: (Crosses arms) so this isn't some gimmicky "Danger House" match?
CTG: I'm not wearing my superhero outfit today. (and he's not - he's wearing his loud tights again, with white boots that have a black strap around the left boot where "SB" in ornate silver letters can be seen) If you want to win my trust, let's a have a match. Onslaught rules.
MHJ: then why all the weapons?
CTG: I trust you know that weapons are forbidden under Onslaught rules. Let's see if you can stick to them. (climbs into the ring)
MHJ: This is stupid
CTG: Is it? or can you not beat anyone unless you're armed?
MHJ: (Frowns, then climbs into the ring::
(the two of them square off, and the match goes something like this
Takedown and mounted rights by Moose. Whip to the corner, another, big clothesline! Whip, Concrete grabs the ropes and takes a break ‘cause he’s SMART, Moose follows, glancing at the implements scattered about and wondering which he should be using instead of pursuing. Moose chases Concrete back in the ring, Concrete off the ropes, Moose clothesline misses, but his elbow doesn’t! Hiptoss! Whip is reversed, Concrete jumps right into a spinebuster! Cover, 1, 2, no! Moose right misses, he charges, but Concrete drops him on the top rope. Kick, trash talkin’, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick. Back suplex by Concrete. Dropkick to the face. Now Concrete drapes him on the ropes and chokes him – and Concrete does the Boss Man legdrop on Moose’s back. Moose staggers away from the ropes, then there’s a quick spinning heel kick by Concrete. “C'mon, Moose! Get up Moose!” Big right drops him. Another big right drops Moose again. Big chop, another HUGE chop, whip to the corner, Concrete charges but eats boot, Moose clothesline misses – KICKWHAMDDT! Concrete goin’ to the top – “I don't trust you yet!!” but Moose catches him! Couple of rights – SUPERPLEX!! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Moose rolls out to regroup, a hand falling on an open chair. He doesn't pick it up, but he punches the backing of it, leaving a horrific dent. Moose slides back in the ring, where Concrete is ready for him. Concrete right misses – right, right, whip, head down and Concrete catches him – Concrete charges, right into a tilt-a-whirl slam! Cover, 1, 2, no! Whip to the corner – Moose contemplates untying the turnbuckle, but changes his mind when Concrete charges. a HUGE haymaker stuns Concrete, and he crumples. Cover, 1, 2, NO! Moose tries pinning twice more, but Concrete kicks out at 2. Both men to their feet - Moose tries slapping on the Tazzmission, Concrete escapes with some well-placed elbows to the misectin. Moose tries again, only to get rolled up! 1, 2, NO! Concrete’s unhappy with that. Chop, whip to the ropes – Concrete jumps but Moose catches him – catapult into the corner but Concrete landed on his feet on the second rope – Concrete off the rope but Moose catches HIM – belly-to-belly suplex! Cover, 1, 2, no! Whip by Moose, Dropkick but Concrete holds onto the ropes – Lionsault MISSES! Moose with an Oklahoma roll, 1, 2, NO! Elbow by Concrete, right, whip to the corner, Moose backs out – right into the Flashback! Cover, 1, 2, NO! There’s an open-handed SLAP, and another! Whip to the corner, Moose walks out – right into a bulldog! And THIS Lionsault HITS! But Concrete doesn’t cover! He’s wavin’ his finger – he wants more! Concrete applauds the fact that Moose is getting up – takedown, Scaffold attempt, but Moose squirms free and HAMMERS Concrete with the Heart Punch! Concrete crumples, then Moose covers for the 1, 2, 3.
MHJ: (catches his breath as he stands) how's that...?
CTG: >.o I think we're getting somewhere
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:41:47 GMT -5
(Microplay is in the interview area backstage, alongside Skeem Gene Okerlund)
Skeem: Microplay, could you tell us your thoughts on../
(Microplay looks straight into the cameras, and proceeds)
Microplay: After all this time, the moment is finally near...Oh yes...the time is near. Challenge after challenge, win after win, i have beaten them all...And it's now down to the final challenge...the champion. The OOWF world heavyweight champion, Niles Anderson...He's in trouble, Gene...Oh yes, he's in trouble. Because his title reign...will be no longer. And i, Microplay, will be the first 2-time OOWF world heavyweight champion EVER.
(Microplay continues after a deep breath)
And if you don't believe me, Gene, that's your problem...But Niles Anderson, if YOU don't believe me...then you'll become a believer, at Midweek Mayhem...
TRUST me.
(Microplay stares into the cameras with a confident grin, as cameras fade away)
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:42:29 GMT -5
<Concrete and Jack both get their breath back and stand in the middle of the ring. As Jack starts to leave, Concrete stops him> CTG: Hold on one second, we're not done. MHJ: <looking a little annoyed> WHAT? Dammit Crete, we had the match, I didn't use the weapons, what more do you want? CTG: You did good, but there was no pressure. Now, there will be something on the line MHJ: What? CTG: We are gonna have a litttle Iron Man Match, 60 minutes, all the weapons are still here, but if you use them, you lose the match AND you wear the super hero outfit I made for you for the rest of the time we team. MHJ: WHAT!!! Are you out of your damn mind! I am NOT wearing that thing, no freakin way CTG: Jack, it’s the only way, and if you make it past this, you have my full trust. Ref, ring the bell. <fade out> First we see a taped interview with Mark Vander! (Taped much earlier) www.pantslessfury.com/oowf/oowf/vanderint.html " target="_blank"> www.pantslessfury.com/oowf/oowf/vanderint.htmlJarrod: Two years ago, I weighed over eleven hundred pounds…. Voice Offscreen: Whoooooo!! Fatboy!! Jarrod:…errr, but then I found Subway’s new delicious low calorie turkey sub on a pita loaf VO: Turkey, by god, on pita whoooooo!!!! Jarrod: Ummmm, and I, uh ate the turkey and their subs for breakfast and . . . VO: and I took your momma to Space Mountain! WHOOOOOOOO!!!! <just then Ric Flair strolls onto camera carrying a Philly Steak and Cheese sub> Jarrod: who the hell is this guy? RF: Who am I? Who am I! I’m RIC FLAIR Bitch! Ha! WHoooooooooo! Jarrod: right, why are you here? RF: <becoming serious> For thirty glorious years I traveled this world, I ate with the greats! Me and Harley Race devoured ribs in Kansas City! Me and Abdullah the Butcher at barbecue in Atlanta! Me and Hogan tore the roof off of all the five star restaurants in New York! I’ve had sushi in Japan with Muta, I’ve had steak with the Von Erich’s in Texas, God rest their souls. Jarrod, I’ve seen it all!! I’ve dined with Kings, I ate beanie weenies with the jabronies in Minnesota. But never, by God, never have I had a sub sandwich like this Philly! WHOOOOOOOO!!! Jarrod: Well Ric, that’s great and all, but the Philly isn’t exactly on the carb friendly menu…. RF: Carbs! Carbs! You don’t eat a 12 pound steak in an hour worrying about carbs! You don’t eat more hard boiled eggs than Andre BY GOD the Giant worrying about carbs! You don’t survive a thai food death match with Tiger Jeet Singh by worrying about carbs! WHOOOOOO! To BE the man, you gotta OUT EAT the man! WHOOOOOOOO!!! Jarrod: but, um Ric, this is sorta MY spot, you know, doing the subway commercials and all… <from off screen Arn Anderson runs into the picture clubs Jarrod in the back if the head, starts to whip Jarrod across the room, then pulls him back toward him and destroys him with a crazy spinebuster> AA: You are not just given a spot among the elite. You have to earn it. When Ric was eating the hottest salsa south of Texas, who was there with the water? It was me. When Ric traveled to England and had more kidney pie than William Regal, who was there with the napkins? It was me. I earned my spot. And this man <slapping Flair on the shoulder> This man is a legend, if he says eat the Philly, then that’s exactly what you do. RF: Diamonds are forever, and so is the twelve inch Philly sub from subway. Subway, eat fresh! WHOOOOOO!!!! <Flair and Anderson leave, as they walk by Anderson stomps on the fallen Jarrod> After commercial we see another interview, this one is a taped interview with Johnny Adrenaline www.pantslessfury.com/oowf/oowf/jaint.html " target="_blank"> www.pantslessfury.com/oowf/oowf/jaint.htmlcut to a commercial for OOWF Territorial Beatings PPV when we come back we see a third taped interview, this one with Donovan Viper www.pantslessfury.com/oowf/oowf/viperint.html " target="_blank"> www.pantslessfury.com/oowf/oowf/viperint.htmlFinally we cut back to the gym, the place is destroyed, Jack and Concrete are both laying in the middle of the ring, bloody and barely moving, the ref looks at a clock and calls for the bell. He calls over the announcer and whispers something to him. Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen (who is he talking to?) the referee has announced that the sixty minute time limit has expired and no falls have been counted, therefore this match has been ruled…..a DRAW! <Boos fill the gym, from where? There IS NO ONE ELSE HERE!> Jack slowly gets to his feet, as does Concrete. MHJ: There, one damn hour, not a single weapon, you happy now? CTG: <after a long pause> I never thought I would say this to you but….I trust you. MHJ: Good. It’s about damn time. <fade to black> |
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:43:18 GMT -5
*Moosehead Jack and Concrete TG are still wrestling together. Niles is looking on with a look of concern on his face.*
Niles - This won't do at all.
*He strokes his title and walks away as the match continues.*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 12, 2008 15:43:57 GMT -5
Ax & Cole barge into The Rick's office.
GMtR: How may I help you gentlemen today?
Ax: What's the big idea screwing us again? First you take our locker room and now your giving the Aussies our title shot?
Cole: We just beat the Aussie last week. Shouldn't we get the title shot?
GMtR: Well three reasons. One, I saw your little stunt with Firechild. Two, We need something new and fresh and you guys vs Capslock Stank has been done to death. And most importantly three, because I'm the boss and I said so.
Cole: Eventually your going to have to give us title shots. When we injure every other team we'll be the only ones left.
Cole walks out of the office.
Ax: You know Rick, you can be a real dick sometimes.
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