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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:01:16 GMT -5
Live From Gaylordsville, Connecticut!
Non-Title OOWF World Title Match[/u]
Hardbody Harris vs. Carl Coolname
OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
The Team From Down Under vs. LD Williams & Thim Reynolds
22 Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal[/u]
Winner gets a second shot at the ROH-style elimination tournament
ROH-Style Elimination Tournament[/u]
The Winner of each match advances to a one on one elimination match next week
Chris Cole vs. Mark Vander vs. Mikey Styner
Moosehead Jack vs. Attitude Adjuster vs. Seraph
Microplay vs. Tommy O'Neil vs. FF Capslock
Phil vs. Blackdragon vs. Harper Camby
Donovan Viper vs. Dr. Murder vs. SoulDragon
Johnny Adrenaline vs. JW Westgaard vs. Endo
Stank vs. Chris Alt vs. Eric O'Mac
UnderDawg vs. Ax-Man vs. Uncle Entity
Morte vs. Beast vs. Firechild
Mr. Jealous vs. Capellan vs. Canadian Dragon
Tommy Wilder vs. Mercury vs. Corax
Card Subject to bad things man, bad things
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:03:47 GMT -5
**Thim Reynolds walks into L.D. Williams' locker room.**
TR: “Seen next week’s lineup yet?”
LD: “Yep.”
TR: “So, how we gonna handle this?”
LD: “Meaning?”
TR: “You and I haven’t exactly seen eye to eye in the past.”
LD: “We ended up on opposite sides of someone else’s problem. No reason to dwell on it. Besides, I kinda like this new attitude of yours. And there’s always room for more gold.”
TR: “But doesn’t the OOWF have a rule that you can only hold one belt at a time?”
LD: **pauses** “You’ve got a point there.”
TR: “It’s like The Rick threw us in this match because he didn’t have anything else for us to do.”
LD: “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. Besides, The Rick couldn’t put us in the tournament….”
TR: “It would kind of weight the field, wouldn’t it?”
LD: “Lets just concentrate on beating the aussies. The Rick put us in this double gold situation, he can sort it out after we win.”
TR: “Deal.”
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:04:12 GMT -5
*The Beast is in from of a door in a hallway. He has a bit of a depressed look on his face. A sign on the door reads “Demotion Support Group: Tues & Thurs.” The Beast walks in, pours himself a cup of coffee, then heads over to the seats. He looks around to see who’s there. He sees 6 guys sitting in a circle, one of them being….. Chris Alt???
The Beast sits down next to Alt as one of the men gets up to speak.*
Man: Hello everyone. My name is Andy, and I am the support group leader. Now, we are all here because we’ve received some sort of demotion at our places of business. That could be a very difficult and demoralizing thing, and can be very hard both mentally and financially. I was demoted at work, and with a little effort and a lot of help from my friends and loved ones, I was able to get through it and on with my life. Our goal here will be to help each other to do the same.
Ok. Why don’t we go around and introduce ourselves and tell each other our stories. Why don’t you start…
First Guy: Hi, I’m Jonathan. You can call me Jon. I work in insurance. I’ve always been good at selling, and since I started with my firm I always drew big numbers and quickly moved up the latter. Finally I was head of sales. It felt great to be off the road. After a few months of it though, Upper Management said they felt as great of a salesman as I am, that my management skills just weren’t up to par. That I couldn’t control the salesmen under me. They said they would love for me to stay and return to my position as salesman, but that they had to remove me from the head of sales position. And even WORSE, they promoted one of the guys that was under me up to the head position! I can’t just quit. I need to work. I have a family and bills. But the humiliation every time I go in there. It’s unbearable! It’s affecting my work, my home-life. If this keeps up I’ll end up getting fired completely!
Andy: Thank you, Jon. Thank you for being so open. Hopefully we’ll be able to look past what you co-workers think and get you back selling the way you were. Who’s next?
Second Guy: Hey, I’m Peter. I work in gay porn. Nah, I’m not a gay porn star. Much too camera shy to do the on screen stuff. But I was a fluffer. That means I wacked-off the guys in between takes to keep them hard, for those of you who don’t know. I mean, I love the cock, so it was a great job!
*Chris Alt leans over to Beast to whisper in his ear.*
CA (whispering): I think we found a job for viper if the wrestling thing doesn’t work out!
*Beast chuckles as the door to the meeting room swings open.*
DV: I AM NOT A HOMO!!!
*SLAM!!*
Peter: Ummm… Anyway, so I had this great job rubbing cock, but the problem was that I kept getting too into it, and the actors kept blowing their loads before we’d shoot the scene. It got a little out of hand. Sometimes, I’d get so worked up I’d just start hobbing knobs right on the set. Needless to say, I gots skillz and the actors would be shooting in seconds!
Andy: Ahem… I don’t think there’s a need to be so graphic.
Peter: Sorry. Anyway, I’m union, so they couldn’t fire me, so they just moved me to lighting. LIGTHING!!! I was fiddling cocks for a living, and now I’m plugging in fucking lamps while watching other guys play with the cocks I was supposed to be playing with! This fucking sucks!
Andy: Ok! That’s very interesting. So, who’s next?
Third Guy: Hi. Mike here. I was a motivational speaker. Pretty good one, too. But... I got... I got... y'know...
Andy: Demoted.
Mike: Yes. Demoted. Yeah.
Andy: And why is that, Mike? Let it out.
Mike: I have... a condition.
Andy: What kind of condition? You look like a perfectly healthy middle-aged man to me.
Mike: It's embarassing.
Beast: This is a demotion support group. We're ALL embarassed here, buddy.
Mike: Well, I-- SHIT FUCK COCKSUCKER BASTARD GOAT COCK SUCKING BITCH!
B: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
*Beast jumps up, Alt holds him back*
Mike: I have Tourettes syndrome. And I'm not going over well at churches and high schools when I tell people how to live up to their potential and then call them all a bunch of donkey ass fuckers.
Andy: I can see where that would be a problem.
Mike: So my assistant, Cathy- SHE took over my job. Now I'm HER assistant. She's not even PEPPY like I am... it's so GODDAM SON OF A BITCH FUCK SHIT PISS COCKSUCKER.
Andy: Alrighty then.
Fourth Guy: Mah name's Jim. I just got demoted by a premiere sports entertain company because I'm apparently not "photogenic" enough. I got demoted from their weekly cable television broadcast to their webcast. Bunch of hogwash, I'll tell y'all that much for sure. Nobody even watches the internet webcast. I WORE A TOGA FOR THEM, BAH GAWD.
Andy: That's brutal, Jim. And quit making that face, it's going to freeze that way.
CA: That's not funny, dude.
B: No, it isn't.
Andy: I'm sorry... it was just a little Bell's humor.
Jim: Have you ever suffered the embarassment of wearing a toga? And getting kicked in the balls by the CEO on national TV? And my BOOMER SOONERS are 2-3 this year. Lately, I've been laying in bed at night, drinking barbeque sauce straight from the bottle and thinking about the loaded shotgun in the closet.
Andy: Maybe the next person should go...
Jim: You know... to kill myself with.
CA: My name’s Chris. I’m a professional wrestler. Things were going great for me. I had a new BFF, and was a major contender for the World Title! I even headlined the biggest show of the year in a title match! But after losing the match, the general manager moved me out of the World Heavyweight Division and into the Inter-Continental Division. Not only is the IC title a lesser title, but now I won’t get any more chances at the World title anymore! I really felt like I was getting there. sure I lost the match at Hell On Earth, but that was just the beginning. My BFF Hardbody Harris would give me a title shot anytime I wanted. I could have won that title eventually if given the chance, I just know it. But stupid GM The Rick just took me out of the hunt for no reason!
B: my issue is pretty much the same as his. Oh, I’m The Beast, by the way.
Andy: Ahem, just first names please.
B: Uh, ok. I’m Beast.
Andy: Ahem, I said FIRST name.
B: WHAT? Listen, guy! There’s no way in hell I’m referring to myself as just “The.” You must be out of your fucking mind. My name’s The Beast. If you can’t cope with that, I can always throw you through the fucking wall!
Mike: GODDAM FUCK MONKEY BALLS SHIT ASS PENGUIN PISS!
B: SHUT UP!
Andy: Ok, Mr. Beast, umm… Why don’t you go on with your story.
B: Thank you. Like I was saying, my story’s pretty much the same as his. I’m a pro wrestler, I was in the World title division and was moved down to IC. It double sucks for me because I never got my big shot. I mean, sure, I was definitely in the most entertaining feuds in the OOWF, but I never had the big World title feud. I tell ya, if I did, I definitely woulda won. Well, maybe. I mean, now that I think about it, I’ve never actually won a feud. I’m billed as this unstoppable monster but I never actually win.
CA: Yeah! He’s totally the Kane of the federation!
Andy: Please, Chris. Don’t interrupt.
B (looking as though he's just had a moment of clarity): No! He’s right! I AM the Kane of the federation! Oh my god! I can’t believe this! Oh, now I’m double depressed. Not only was I demoted but now I’m Kane. THIS SUCKS!
Andy: Come on now, you’re not Kane. You didn’t fuck a corpse, did you?
B: No, but I did fuck my mother.
Andy: …
B: Well, it wasn’t really me. Hardbody Harris was in my body and—You know what? It’s just easier to say yeah, it was me. I fucked my mom. Let’s move on.
Andy: Ok…. Now, the point of the group is to be there to support each other. That’s why it’s called a “support group.” But we only meet twice a week, but you could need support at anytime. For that reason, I’m gonna buddy you guys up, and you two will exchange numbers, and any time you need a little pick-me-up, you can call your buddy! Ok, the buddies will be Jon and Peter, Mike and Jim, and Chris and Beast.
B: Me and Alt? Are you serious?
Andy: Oh yes Mr. Beast. The buddy system is all about access, and you two being on the road together gives you the most access to each other.
B: But I don’t even LIKE him!
CA: Oh, real supportive.
Andy: Chris is right. If that’s the attitude you’re gonna have, maybe this isn’t the place for you. We’re here to help each other help ourselves. If that’s not acceptable to you, Mr. Beast, the door is right over there.
B: No. No, you’re right. When I came in here I told myself I’d follow the rules and do what I need to do to get past this. Ok. If I have to be there for him, then that’s what I’ll do. And if it means he’ll be there for me as well, then maybe it ain’t so bad.
Andy: That’s the spirit! Alright people, I think that’ll about do it for today! Everyone have a good weekend and I’ll see you next Tuesday.
CA: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
B: What’s so funny?
CA: Don’t you get it? C U Next Tuesday! He said CUNT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
B: …ugh…what am i getting myself into?
[Edited on 10-14-2005 by Operation Retard]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:04:45 GMT -5
BD watches the meeting as it transpires thanks to the combined magic of invisible ninja camera men and Hardbody's Tryk'D OWT TYTLE.
BD: How dare they insult the title I bled sweat and cried blood for? 119 days pal. I was the greatest IC champ for close to four months. And two scrubs that have yet to hold a title are crying about being demoted? Even with the World Title regaining some of it's luster since Harbody won it, the IC is still the least tainted belt in our company and should be treated as such. They should consider it an honor to even be in the division that I put back on the map.
UD: Feel better now?
BD: Yep. Venting's fun.
UD: Good, because I don't feel too comfortable.
BD: Why not? I mean, you beat the crap out of Caps and Johnny. You got your chains back..well at least the gold they were made from. What could possibly make you uncomfortable at the moment.
UD: How about the fact that we're watching two wrestlers undergo a support group on a plasma t.v. that happens to be around the waist of our naked World Champ.
BD: You know, I hadn't noticed, but he is quite naked. I bet Viper has fantasies like this.
UD: Not that there's anything wrong with that...but I rather not....
BD: ...get caught staring at the No. 1 Penis in the OOWF?
UD: I was going to say get caught in a room with a naked man. I can't believe you just said that.
BD: I see there's much to teach you about your new partner big Dawg.
BD puts his arm around his shoulder and UD gives him a funny look.
UD: Yeah, I'll see you later...(classic disappearing act ensues)
HH: Ahem....
BD: Yeah, I was just leaving too. Glad we had this little talk.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:05:07 GMT -5
<MHJ is stanging with SFJ42 backstage giving an old school promo>
SFJ42: Moose, do you know anything about the man who attacked Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster?
MHJ: Nope
SFJ42: Is that all?
MHJ: What else do you want me to say? I have no idea who did it, I had my own match to worry about, not that it was THAT much of a concern. It was probably some pissed off Canadian, Adrenaline and Attitude seemed to piss off most of that country while we were up there
SFJ42: They say Niles will take that title when he comes back from his vacation, what are your thoughts on that?
MHJ: Well, when Niles decides to stop being a coward and running from me, running from a feud HE wanted, yeah, he might be chasing that title, but he won't be chasing Harris, he will be chasing ME
SFJ42: So your goals are now the world title?
MHJ: Among other things. There are still some scores to be settled. Chris Alt, I am talking about you. Once again, you just could not get it done could you? Once again, you are given a chance to even things and you fail. What happened Chris? You were supposed to teach me the meaning of pain, make me bleed, make me suffer. Well once again, you are blind to what I am really all about. If you want to beat me, you have to have that killer instinct, you have to FINISH me. You can't do that. You, are soft. So after all this ROH shit, our paths will cross again, and when they do, I am going to finish you off once and for all, end your career so I can destroy that idiot Hardbody Harris and take that title. Trust.....
<Just then Chris Alt comes flying out of nowhere and tackles Moose to the ground, the two brawl around the backstage area for a few minutes, getting a few good shots in. Alt nails Jack with a convienently placed glass bottle, splitting Jack's head open. Jack sees the blood and grins and laughs at Alt. Finally security gets between then and escorts them on opposite directions.>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:05:29 GMT -5
*Chris Alt is in his locker room, being held back by Hardbody Harris, Blackdragon, and some road agents*
HH: Calm down, man! Just calm down.
BD: Yeah dude, acting like this isn't going to get you anywhere.
CA: That sorry son of a bitch. Let go of me. LET GO OF ME!!
*everyone releases their hold and CA gets face to lens with the camera*
CA: Moose, you wanna sit there and talk about how I didn't come through with the pain I promised you? Here's an idea: why don't you ask your boyfriend Carl Coolname to quit interfering in our matches. You're goddam right our paths will cross again, Moose... and I'm quite sure that once again you'll get on your knees for Carl so that he'll save your ass from me yet again because you know that you just can't get the job done without him.
*a low gasp of surprise is elicted from the others in the locker room at that statement*
BD *whispers*: Man, Moose is going to murder him when he hears that he said that.
CA: But you know what, Moose? You aren't even the issue anymore. My issue is with that spineless piece of trash, Carl Coolname. Carl, you wanna keep attacking me from behind? You wanna keep costing me matches? Here's an idea, Carl... you and me, barbed-wire Hell in a Cell. Nowhere for you to run, nowhere for you to hide. No escape. I've been wanting to get my hands on you for a long time, son. So say yes, Carl. Say you'll meet me in that barbed wire cell. I'll let you pick the time and place, even. And then when I put you out of your misery, Carl- Moose, I'm coming back for your ass.
*Moosehead Jack busts into the locker room and attacks CA with a lead pipe. HH and BD run him off, but the damage is done, CA's forehead is split open and gushing blood*
HH: Son of a-- somebody get a medic in here!
*fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:05:52 GMT -5
<Jack isstorming down the hall with the lead pipe when Scheme Gene stops him>
SG: Moose, you just attacked Chris Alt with a lead pipe!
MHJ: <glares at Gene for a second then slams him in the face with the lead pipe>
Alt, listen to me, and listen to me real carefully. I don't NEED Coolname to beat you. You haven't shown in either match that you have what it takes to beat me. I have no deal with Coolname, I have no vested interest in whatever it is he is doing to screw with your head. But there you go again, taking the focus off your failures and putting it on someone else. You make me sick Alt. You know damn well you can't beat me, so you want to challenge Coolname to a match to get away from me. You spineless piece of crap. Be a man for once in your miserable life and FINISH THE JOB! What's next? Are you going to have your little buddy Harris hold your hand on the way to the ring?
<getting real close to the camera> Alt this ends when I say it ends. You little sniveling cowardly bitch, you are either gonna face me, or I will hound you forever. Prove yourself, what is beating Coolname going to prove? He has been gone for months, Alt, be a man, face me one on one, I am challenging you, at Doomy Doomy Doom Doom, you want a barbed wire cage match? Prove yourself, step into that cage with ME You wanna get bloody? you and me, barbed wire and steel.
Alt, your career depends on this. trust me.
<Jack hammers away at a barely conscious Scheme Gene and leaves him lying fully unconscious in a pool of blood>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:06:17 GMT -5
Underdawg is in a bar watching the scuffle between Chris Alt and Moosehead Jack in a monitor when the Beast comes up and sits down next to him.
B: So where's your new tag team partner?
UD: He's still back in the arena. We're supposed to meet up a little later, so I stopped by here for a drink. As I see, he's a little busy helping out Chris Alt there. Say, aren't you supposed to be his "support buddy"?
B: Yeah, but I'm also on strike from OOWF, so I can only support him when he's not in an arena.
UD: Would you say that he's not being supportive of you by crossing your picket line?
B: Man's gotta make a living. It's more of a personal thing. You don't know what it's like to get demoted.
UD: Oh? Do you see my name on the world title ranks?
B: No, but at least you had title shots. Multiple ones.
UD: True. But I'm better than you. And besides, I don't consider this a demotion. I consider this a new step in my career. I've never even attempted to become a tag team champion before, and quite frankly, I like teaming with Black Dragon.
B: Well, doesn't that soil my doily? I'm so happy for you that things are the way you want them to be.
UD: What I'm trying to say is, don't look at it as stepping down. You haven't even gotten gold yet, and that Intercontinental gold is prestigious. My partner, Black Dragon held it with pride for a long time while those punks Viper and Anderson were soiling the World title.
B: Hey, you started it by helping Viper win.
UD: Don't remind me... And listen, do you remember who one the OOWF Award for Angle of the Year?
B: You mean the OOWFie?
UD: OOWFie?
B: Yeah. That's what we should call those awards. OOWFies.
UD: *sigh* Do you remember who won the -OOWFie (groan)- for Angle of the Year? Concrete TG and Moosehead Jack.
B: Yeah? So?
UD: They did so staying in the Intercontinental and Tag Team divisions. Our peers and our fans all agreed that the best storyline of last year was from those divisions, not the world title division where you and I were.
B: So?
UD: So... Perhaps you can muster up a great storyline or killer feud with someone in the Intercontinental division?
B: I could feud with you again. I like beating up on you.
UD: No. I'm a tag team wrestler now.
B: Oh, ok. I dunno, I'll think about it. You make some good points, but...
UD: That's fine. Just drink some more beer and mull over it for a while.
B: Thanks. Uh, by the way, why are you being so nice to me right now? I mean, I've done a lot of fucked up things to you.
UD: True, but, I don't know. Maybe it's because we've fought each other so many times, and there's some semblance of respect or something. For some weird reason all of the sudden, I feel like you're a little brother to me.
B: Why is that?
UD: You're the Kane of the OOWF, right?
B: Yeah. But what does that make you? Gene Snitsky? X-Pac? The Hurricane?
UD: Hmmm.... I don't really know where I was going with that... No matter. Drink up. It's on me. Um... where did my wallet go?
B (handing back Underdawg's wallet): Uh, sorry. Swiped it when you were looking at the monitor. Don't worry, I started a tab.
UD (looking in his wallet): With MY credit card, no doubt?
B: Hey, I'm on strike! Gotta afford to buy beer somehow!
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:06:37 GMT -5
(conversation continues)
UD: wait a second.... you guys had your segment in the support group thing.
B: yeah, so?
UD: so doesn't that mean alt did his part and wrote his part of the segment? shouldn't your strike be over?
B: oh shit! that's right. oh man, all this sorta in/sorta out of kayfabe stuff is really confusing. i guess i'm back.
UD: i think i know what confused you.
B: what's that?
UD: there was no press release stating the strike was over. any good corporation would have a press release to annouce something like that.
B: good point. i'll have to have words with my board of directors. in the meantime, i better go give alt that support i promised. i just hope that shit-dick hardbody harris is gone by the time i get there.
UD: good luck.
B: yup. thanks for the beers.
*beast gets up and leaves.*
[fade out]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:07:00 GMT -5
[Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster are hiding in their locker room.]
AA: Okay, I think we're outta the woods with UD. We should be safe now.
JA: Safe? With some guy punking us out after our match last week? I mean, what a coward! Wouldn't even show his face. I mean, have we ever cheap shotted anybody?
[awkward silence]
AA: Um, so waht do you think we should do?
JA: Well, Moose said something about he though it was an angry Canadian since we supposedly pissed off everyone while we were up there.
AA: Well... maybe he's on to something.
JA: What do you mean?
AA: Remember the medicine man? Hell, it could've been any of the natives from up there. Or hell, maybe the Sioux Warrior chief came looking for a sacrifice for the Indian gods.
JA: But we didn't follow thru on that angle.
AA: Maybe dropping the angle offended him. Or maybe he's just pissed off that Wahoo McDaniel never got a World Title run.
JA: Wasn't Wahoo a Cherokee?
AA: Shit, I don't know. It doesn't matter. Fact is, we're wanted men.
JA: Well, what do YOU think we should do?
AA: Hide in here until the coast is clear, that's what.
JA: What if we get hungry?
AA: Well, that's just a chance we'll have to take when the time comes.
[fade to black]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:08:27 GMT -5
<wCw are sitting at Flair's Sub Shop>
JW Westgaard: So Cap, Tommy - you guys see this week's card yet?
Cap: No, I figure I'm back to working my way up to the IC or the Onslought belt, and you guys should get another shot at Outback Jack and Gatorbait - right?
JW: Wrong.
Wilder: Wrong? Dude, you telling me we don't get another shot? I mean the Aussies and us blew the doors off the place last week....
JW: Settle down Tommy - Looks like we have a "special tournament" this week - check it out... <Tosses a copy of the card out on the table>
Cap: 3 way matches to determine who advances to the tournament? Cool!
Wilder: Hey, check out these matches!
JW: Yeah - that's what I thought. Look at this - Moose, Seraph and Attitude Adjuster?
Cap: <Sing-song voice> AA's gonna di-ie...
JW: Yeah, he's a chickenshit in the psycho ward. Between this match and what he and his partner did to Underdawg, he'll be looking over his shoulder all week.
Wilder: Damn! Look at this one - Blackdragon, Phil and Camby? Yeowch. Talk about ending up outside your weight class.....
JW: Yeah, but BD was the IC Champ for a long time - beat a lot of big men defending it too. I wouldn't count him out.
Cap: Donnie V, Dr M and Souldragon? Man, not a lot of trust in THAT group...
JW: Cap - this is a 3 way dance. Don't trust any of your opponents. Remember - first pin or submission wins.
Cap: Got it....
TW: Hey, who do we have? Lets see - Johnny Adrenaline vs. JW Westgaard vs. Endo...
JW: Huh. Not bad. Nobody too big, pretty straight up match. I like it.
Cap: What about me?
TW: Mr. Jealous vs. Capellan vs. Canadian Dragon
Cap: Jealous? Hooo. CD and I can put on a GREAT match. Mr. Jealous is a mix of styles though....
TW: <Sings> One of these things is not like the other...
Cap: No Kidding, Bro.
JW: Yeah? Check out your match - Tommy Wilder vs. Mercury vs. Corax
TW: No.
Cap: <Laughs> Hey Tommy - looks like you whole fan club is gonna be there!
TW: Man, why not make that nut-job O'Neil special ref? Oh well - Guess I better take it up another notch!
Cap: <To Ric Flair, who is walking by> Hey Ric - you been in many of these special tournaments?
RF: Me? Let me tell you kid - I've been in them all! 3 Way, 4 Way, Mixed tag, King of the Ring, Royal Rumble, Wargames.. Wooooooooo! Man, you gotta play it smart kid - stay out of the other guy's way, let them wear each other down. Don't go up top or do anything stupid.
Cap: Hey Tommy - there goes your whole moveset!
Wilder: <Laughs> Bite me, Cap....
RF: ....Then you stick and move, pick your time and WHAM! Take the man out! To be the man, you gotta beat the man! Take it from me, the 16 time, jet setting, limo riding...damn, this is thirsty work...
<Grabs a Super Big Gulp off the table and downs it>
Wilder: Uh, Ric -
RF: Don't interrupt me son... Where was I - Oh yeah, Kiss stealing , dirtiest play in the game! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooo
<Flair starts doing elbow drops on the floor, "wooing" the whole time. Soon he is bouncing off walls and large furniture>
JWW: Ric you OK?
RF: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
<Flair Flop, gets up, does it again>
RF: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
JWW: What the hell is wrong with him?
RF: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
<Now spinning on the floor like Curly from the 3 Stooges>
Cap: Hey, Tommy tried to warn him....
RF: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
JWw: About what? <Looks at the cup> Wilder, what in the blue hell is in that?
Wilder: Red Bull. Light on the ice.
RF: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooo<Turning red>
JW: Red Bull? Where did you find a place that sells Super Big Gulps of Red Bull?
Wilder: Hey man - it isn't like I told him to drink it!
RF: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OhelpmeOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Oreally,helpme!OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
JWW: How many of those do you drink a day?
TW: One - at lunch. I usually drink a few Double Shots in the morning, Dew during the day when I'm thirsty, Red Bull at lunch, More Dew at dinner, and a Can of Full Throttle before I go to sleep...
Cap: You sleep?
RF: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI'mtoooldforthisshitOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
<Starts doing The Worm down the hall>
JWw: How do you.... Never mind - we might want to do something....
Wilder: Well, I got a can of Stinger in my bag - helps me calm down....
JWW: ........
RF: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooo
<Ric worms his way down the hall>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:08:55 GMT -5
Attitude Adjuster and Johnny Adrenaline are holed up in their locker room, watching OOWF-TV because there's nothing better to do.
AA: Did you see that WCW promo?
JA: What, are you watching vintage wrestling? WCW rocked...Pinata on a Pole was a 5-star classic!
AA looks at Johnny in disbelief.
JA: Joking! Joking! (JA stuffs his "3 Count/Tank Abott Dance Team" T-shirt into his gym bag.)
AA: We have to concentrate on this week's matches. I have Mooseheadjack and Seraph. What the hell is up with that? Can there be two more psychotic dudes in the OOWF?
JA: Not unless we bring in Abdullah.
AA: Not yet, we're still riding the Ric Flair craze. You can only have so many legends at one time. Besides, he had that Canadian Bulldog benefit. Don't worry, though, Abby and I are like this. (AA crosses his fingers.)
JA: So are you hiding under the ring or just hanging out outside the ring?
AA: Ehh, haven't figured it out yet. Might do some commentary, actually.
JA: And I have JW Westegaard and your old nemisis Endo.
AA: I think you're going to win that match by devious means. Not that I'm telling you something you don't already know.
JA: That sounds familiar...
AA: Yeah, some jobber tag team uses that phrase. Or something like that.
JA: So have we fulfilled our contractual obligation to promote our matches and feuds?
AA: Let's see. Underdawg and Blackdragon?
JA: By hiding here, check.
AA: WCW?
JA: Check.
AA: Team From Down Under?
JA: Check.
AA: Matches this week?
JA: Check.
AA: Cutting a promo about cutting a promo?
JA: Right here, right now.
AA: Sandwich?
JA: Is the coast clear?
AA: Let's check OOWF-TV to make sure.
AA turns on OOWF-TV to find
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:09:17 GMT -5
## The camera follows LD WIlliams as he enters Thim's dressing room. Thim is relaxing on a sofa with a pair of the Thimanoids and a glass of Laphroaig.
LD: Thim . . . how's it going - you fancy a quick session to work on some double team moves that we can use against the Aussies?
TR: love to mate but I've got the girls here to keep happy - I'd rather be working out some double team move with them if you know what I mean
LD: yea . . . but seriously, these guys are used to working with each other - we've got to sort something out.
TR: what's the matted LD, you worried or something. You've got the Intercontinental Champion teaming with the Onslaught Champion taking on a couple of backwater Aussies whose IQ's are significantly lower than their shoe sizes. What are you getting so worked up about.
LD: hey Thim, don't get me wrong I know they're stupid but they're the stupid Tag Team Champions . . . they're no slouches in the ring
TR: Hmmm, yea I guess - but look LD. Don't let this get out of this room but that middle aged dick wad Uncle Entity did more damage than he realised last week. I may look like I'm relaxing on the sofa here but I'm actually using my fine Thimanoids here as part of a rigorous (and well disguised) stretching and recuperation program, the whisky is purely medicinal. That asshole broke 4 ribs last week.
## Thim lifts up his shirt to reveal some very heavy strapping with just a hint of blood soaking through perhaps??
LD: of shit Thim, how the hell are we going to win with you in that state?
TR: Don't worry dude - I know that you can take these guys and I'll still be there . . . I just need to make sure that no one else finds out and to protect my ribs a bit. We've still got their number here man - no worries.
LD: you sure, that don't look good to me?
TR: don't worry!! By Wednesday this'll be fine - I know what I'm doing and I didn't let that regular chump of a physio anywhere near me. Look pull up a chair, grab a girl and a glass and we'll chew over a few moves . . . it'll be all good you'll see
LD: how can I possibly refuse an offer like that
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:10:02 GMT -5
<Before LD Williams can sit down, there is a knock at the door…>
Tommy Wilder: Dudes - got a second?
Thim: What the bloody hell do YOU want?
TW: Whoa – Peace guys! I’m just looking for Flair – you seen him?
LDW – Why would we have….
Voice From the Hall - OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOO
<Suddenly, Ric Flair Struts into Thim’s Locker Room at Warp 9, hands LDW a Double-meat BMT on Whole wheat, kisses both girls, tosses down a shot of scotch, kisses THIM, and struts out of the room before anyone can react, leaving 2 swooning Thimanoids, a little less scotch and a shocked Thim Reynolds>
RF: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOO
TR: What the?
LDW: HEY! Wait – Good sandwich!
TW: Uh, never mind…. Ric! Dude! Hold up! Someone stop that Hall Of Famer!
<Closes door>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:10:28 GMT -5
<in a darkened room, lit only by a single light bulb, Moosehead Jack speaks>
It appears that our leader GM the Rick has decided to throw a tournament into my plans to annihilate Chris Alt. That is all well and good, it only delays the inevitable for a few weeks.
So, I see in the first round, I get to face Seraph and Attitude Adjuster. Normally I would enjoy the complexity of those involved. Seraph has begun to unravel a bit, and Attitude Adjuster, well we kno he cannot possibly...........
<outside the room we hear..>
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFatboy!COME GET SOMEWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
MHJ:<looking annoyed> Goddammit
<Jack leaves the room>
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO<THUD>......<THUD> silence
<Jack comes back with blood sprayed on his face, sits down and resumes>
Like I was saying, Attitude Adjuster better grow a set before this match. I am in no mood for his bullshit.....or anyone elses for that matter. I will win this match, then go on to win the tournament. The winner gets a title shot right? Then the way I figure it, Hardbody Harris, you have a few weeks left on your title reign
And that brings me to Chris Alt. What's wrong Chris? You don't seem to be talking so brave anymore. You wanted a barbed wire hell in the cell match with Coolname. You puffed yourself up all big and bad and challenged him like a big man. But then I challenge you, and you run and hide. Come on Chrissy, come out of hiding and answer my challenge. I don't care if I have to wrestle twice at the PPV, I want you...in the cage...so I can shred you with barbed wire. Be a man Alt, be a man and accept this match.
I won't drag it out too long, I will make your beating quick and painfull. Trust me
<fade to black>
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:10:51 GMT -5
*Chris Alt sits in a simple blue folding chair in his locker room, stitches in his forehead from where Moose busted him with the pipe*
CA: Moose, Moose, Moose. I always credited you with some brain power, son. I apologize most deeply for overestimating you. You want me in that barbed wire Hell in a Cell? I think I can forget about Carl Coolname long enough to put you out of your misery for good. Ya see, Moose... I don't think you realize that you're backing a wild animal into a corner. And when you back a wild animal into a corner, it's gonna defend itself, and you're going to get mauled. But I'm going to do more than just maul you, Moose. I'm going--
*A loud crash announces someone is entering the locker room. Beast appears and approaches CA*
CA: Uh- dude.
B: Hey man.
CA: I'm kind of in the middle of something here.
B: I'm sorry man, I'm feeling kind of down. Can we go get something to eat?
CA: Beast. I'm cutting a promo here. Trying to make it a serious one.
B: Your funny promos are better, you know.
CA: Beast.
B: Dude, you're my support partner. And right now, I need support.
CA: You need support? Buy a bra. I'm busy.
B: Hey! I'm here for you if you need me! I've never asked you for anything! All I'm asking for is a shoulder to lean on.
CA: Oh, for Chri-- fine, Beast. I'll put on my jacket and we'll go get a beer.
B: Yippee!
CA *back to the camera*: Your challenge is accepted, Moose. I'll see you at--
B: COME ON!
CA: CHILL OUT! God DAMN! If I wanted to be nagged, I'd bring my girlfriend to work with me. Jesus, dude.
*CA is still bitching as he leaves with a grinning Beast. Fade to black*
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:11:37 GMT -5
[The Chickenshit Heels are still in their locker room, AA with the door cracked peeking out into the hall, and Johnny watching OOWF TV.]
AA: How's it look?
JA: I don't know. Moose just cut a promo saying you need to grow some balls or something.
AA: Huh?
JA: Yeah, he did. Sounds like Jack is taking this tournament like thing seriously.
AA: [thinking] I can't get counted out, right? How about I just stay backstage and let them kick the crap out of each other then run in at the end?
JA: Not bad. You could just forfeit the match and go into the battle royal fresh.
AA: Ya know, Johnny. That's not a bad idea. It's much easier to cheat in a battle royal when there's a gazllion guys in the ring.
JA: Although...
AA: Although what?
JA: If you pull a stunt like that, you know the Rick is just gonna punish us again. A sizable fine and/or suspension. A casket match with UnderDawg. A handicap match against Drink & Destroy. Ten minutes in the bedroom with Viper.
AA: Hey, he's not...
JA: I know, but Rick doesn't know that.
AA: What's the TV showing now?
JA: Looks to me like the hall's clear. Let's make a break for it.
[AA slowly opens the door and peeks around the corner.]
AA: Let's go.
[The Chickenshit Heels take off on a sprint to the Flair's sandwich stand. But about fifty feet shy of the stand, they see Flair laid out on the floor.]
AA: Naitch, what happened?
RF: I'M GONNA HAVE TO GIVE MOOSEHEAD JACK'S MOMMA A RIDE ON SPACE MOUNTAIN!! WHOOOOOOO!!! [Flair passes out]
JA: Man, Ric was just stylin' and profilin'. And Moose laid him out for that? Think what he'll do to you on Wednesday...
AA: Why am I the one who got stuck with that draw?
UD: [from down the hall] Hey you pieces of shit! You melted down my chains into an urn! And I'm gonna take it out on your ass!
AA: Run!
[JA and AA take off and UD gives chase for about five seconds until he decides he's had enough.]
UD: Wait til I get my hands on your bitchasses!
[fade to black]
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:12:01 GMT -5
<Jack is somewhere dark, lit only by the glow of OOWF TV>
Isn't that rich? Chris Alt feels pity for me. Chris, once again, you are the one who doesn't understand. You say I am backing a wild animal into the corner, and this wild animal will defend itself. Good, I am counting on that, I planned on that. Alt, I want you in a rage, I want you to bring every ounce of hatred, every ounce of furiosity you can muster from that pathetic body of yours into our match.
That way when I beat you, when I leave your bloody carcass in the center of the ring, that will be it. Chris alt will be dead and gone, you will have brought everything in your power to beat me, and you still could not get it done. From then on, I own you.
Someone WILL be mauled that night, but it won't be me, you don't have it in you.
Trust me
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:12:22 GMT -5
*the beast and chris alt are in the bar sipping their beers.*
B: ...so as i walked down the street with my head down, i noticed this flower on the side walk. it was so beautiful...
CA: *sigh* barkeep, another please.
*the bartender puts the beer under the tap and pulls the lever and THE BEAST POPS OUT!*
CA: what the fuck?!
*alt looks back and forth rapidly. very confused at the two beasts in front of him. beast #2 grabs beast #1 by his shirt collar and pulls him close.*
B#2: alright, monster! i know what you're doing! "shoulder to lean on?" flower on the sidewalk? you're just trying to make me look like a big pussy!
CA: what? monster?!
B: yeah chris. i'm taking this support group thing seriously, but i would never interupt you in middle of a serious promo (though monster's right about one thing. your funny ones are better), nor would i ever say "yippee."
M: heh heh. yeah. i thought "yippee" was a nice touch. oh, and you've totally done that "from the beer tap" entrance before. god you suck!
CA: so you're actually monster? fuck man, you guys really need to find away to distinguish yourselves from each other.
M: and end all the fun?
B: oh bite me, shit-dick!
M: awwwww... dont go and cry now!
B: fuck you!
*beast clocks monster in the face. they begin to brawl on the bar floor.*
B: hey alt! how bout a hand here?
CA: no way man. i'm your support group partner, not your sibling rivalry counceler. you're on your own here. besides, i cant evne tell who's who anymore.
B: fine! whatever!
*beast and monster brawl their way out of the bar and alt just continues to sit there and sip his beer.*
CA: *sigh* and that was totally gonna be an oowfie caliber promo too.....stupid evl twin brother...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:12:46 GMT -5
SFJ 33 1/3: I'm here with the tag team champions, the Team From Down Under...
GB: Are we on radio?
SFJ: No, it's that internet TV thingy.
GB: Then can't people see that you're here with us?
SFJ: But it's my only line!
WBK: And a fine job you did with it.
OBJ: Anyways, we've got work to do. This match will be a bit of contrast from our recent matches. Thim has an impressive level of technical expertise and an array of submission moves not usually seen in the OOWF tag ranks. Fortunately we have lots of experience in submission matches, and after his last match he will need to be wary of the Croc Hunter himself.
SFJ: Wow! I don't know why they say you're dumb.
OBJ: Thanks!
GB: LD is as tough as anybody around here, but we've watched the tapes of his matches too, and we'll be prepared
WBK: We had a close call last week with WCW. They are a great team, and we may have taken them a little too lightly, but this week we're really focused.
GB: We'll be ready for a war, not that I'm telling you anything you don't already know.
OBJ: Hey - who says I'm dumb?
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:13:08 GMT -5
Capellan and Tommy Wilder are walking back to their locker room after having chased Ric Flair...
TW: I can't believe Moose would do that to Ric. I mean, I know Ric is crazy and all, but geez. That means I can't get a sandwich for a while, huh?
Cap: Totally, Tom. No way I'm eating one of those crappy HHH Burgers. Man, I swear that Moose has respect for the legends.
Just then Cap gets TOTALLY LEVELED by a chain assisted death elbow to the back of the head!
TW: OH SHIT! CAP!
Wilder turns around to see Donovan Viper, Missy Lane, and a Ayaka. Wilder looks ready to fight, but so does Ayaka and her baseball bat.
DV: No respect for the legends? Capellan, you should talk. You've shown this living legend absolutely no respect in taking my title shot! You chat with your chums about how awesome it feels to have LOST to Hardbody Harris?!? Taking my spot and throwing it down the gutter and being HAPPY about it? Well, why don't you tell your extreme buddy here how great it feels to get your head rocked, you punk bitch?
TW: Man, fuck you Viper. I know you've got the Devil's Brigade behind me ready to jump me, so why don't you just take me on?
ML: Teach Mr. Extreme a lesson, Donnie.
DV: You're nothing to me, Wilder. Ayaka?
Just then JW Westgard walks into the scene with a metal folding chair.
JWW: I don't think so bitch.
Ayaka steps back.
DV: It's ok, Ayaka. I got what I wanted.
The evildoers leave the scene with Missy and Viper laughing.
JWW: Those goddamn bastards...
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:13:33 GMT -5
Under a logo with the words "Earlier that morning.", SFJ#7 is interviewing Capellan as he unloads a pair of large sports bags from the back of a waiting taxi.
"Capellan, can you tell us your thoughts about being promoted to the Intercontinental division?"
"Promoted?" Capellan shoulders the two bags. He sticks his head in through the taxi window and passes the cabbie some bills. "Keep the change." Straightening again, he shrugs, "I don't think of it as being promoted. The current Onslaught champion may be an ass, but he can get it done in the ring, and there's plenty of other tough competitors there."
"But the IC division has several former world title contenders ..."
"Sweetcheeks, maybe you didn't notice, but last week I pushed the world champion to his limits, and before that I beat two former world champions, one on one -"
"Two?" SFJ#7 looks confused, "Donovan Viper's one ... ?"
"Canadian Dragon."
"Oh. Does he really count?"
"Does he ... ?" Capellan rolls his eyes, "It's not how long you hold the belt that matters, it's how you win it, and how you defend it. Canadian Dragon's one of the top wrestlers in the business today. He's going to be tough to get past this week in Donnie Viper's home town."
"Speaking of you match this week, do you have any thoughts on your other opponent?"
"Mr Jealous?" Capellan blows out a puff of air, "Man's crazy as they come, but I don't know if he has the strategy to win a three-way bout like this. You can't just rely on force to get it done in a triple threat."
"So you think you have what it takes to win tonight?"
Capellan laughs,
"Of course I do. You get into the ring thinking you aren't going to win, and you'll be right, every time."
"Any thoughts on the other contenders in your new division?" SFJ#7 changes tack, "Beast?"
"The guy who breaks walls and pops out of stuff? That schtick is pretty cool, actually."
"Mercury?"
"Tried to punk me when I started here, but couldn't get it done and now he's a running dog for the Evil Wizkid, or whatever the guy's name is."
"Chris Alt?"
"Hardbody's boy? Good competitor, got a lot of respect for him ..." Capellan pauses, "... but I think he might be losing his way. This thing with Moosehead Jack ... Alt's trying to be a better monster than him. You don't beat someone like Jack by being a better monster than they are, you beat them by being a better man. Anything else? I have to get to the dressing room."
"One last name: Mark Vander."
Capellan's expression clouds.
"Alt may be going astray, but Vander's completely lost. He's a good athlete, but he's lost track of the things that matter. Viper took Missy, and Vander let him. He tells everyone he couldn't save her, and maybe he couldn't. But he didn't even try. Missy didn't turn on him for what Viper did to her, or even for the fact that Vander didn't stop it. She turned on him because he stood by and let it happen." Capellan shakes his head, "Anyone did that to my girl, and I wouldn't stop coming for her until I was dead. Until Vander can live up to that, he's not going to be worth a damn in the IC division, or in life."
Capellan stops, and his expression lightens.
"Now excuse me, I gotta get to the dressing room before Tommy drinks all the Dew."
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:13:52 GMT -5
SFJ #14 is standing by back stage with "The Main Event" Chris Cole.
SFJ: Chris, you seem to be having early success is the singles ranks. How do you like your chances in this three teired tournament?
Cole: Of course I'm having success. I'm "The Main Event". You don't have a nick name like that for being a failure. The fact is I'ver had a fantastic run. It started with a wonderful run in the Imperial Onslught which I should have won. I was blindsided by the homo Donnie Viper because he knew that man to man he wouldn't be able to hang with me. I punked out Chris Alt on his own show and I beat that walking piece of Wrestlecrap known as Phil all in one night. That is what I call earning my paycheck.
SFJ: This week you are in a triple threat with Mickey Styner & Mark Vander.
Cole: You can punch my name on the ticket for the second round because I've got lots of experience fighting fat f*cks like Stank & Capslock so Styner should be a piece of cake. As far as Mark Vander goes, I'm sure not going to worry too much about the North Dakota Dick Sucking Champion or whatever the hell "Champ" he is this week. The fact of the matter is they are mere stepping stones in my path to the OOWF World Title.
SFJ: What are your thoughts about possibly facing Firechild or Ax-man inb the tournament?
Cole: Well I'm sure I'll have to. Ax & Firechild are top quality athletes and I fully expect to meet up with them down the lines. All three of us are bros and we all know what is at stake here. We will give it our all in the ring against each other and then go out celebrating win or lose after the match. If I was Beast, Morte, Uncle Entity, or Underdawg I wouldn't be inviting any family to the show next week to see them in the next round because 3 Piece Set is going 3 for 3. And that is something that these shmucks in Gaylordsville will will soon find out.
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:14:22 GMT -5
Seraph is spotted by SFJ 222 in the backstage area changing his bandages and tending to his injuries. Naturally, being at tactless SFJ she pounces on this oportunity to get a few words about this weeks upcoming tournament.
SFJ: Seraph - I'm glad I caught up with you. What are your thoughts about this week's match against Moosehead Jack and Attitude Adjuster?
[In an act of uncharacteristic cooperation, Seraph decides to answer her question]
Seraph: I have never wrestled AA before but he would be wise to go back to whatever hole he crawled out of before wednesday rather than step in the ring with the angel of vengeance. [Turning to the Camera ] AA, I have no malice towards you - you better not do anything to change that this week.
SFJ: What about Moosehead Jack - you two have faced eachother before.
Seraph: Yes. Jack. I remember you. If I remember correctly I left you a bloody mess on our last enounter before the issue between you and concrete filled the ring with outsiders and stopped our match. You think I'm coming unraveled? [Seraph stops to take off one of his bandages revealing some natsy scars and burns.] You see this? This is what is left when I come unraveled. Last time you faced me you wrestled a different Seraph - a kinder, gentler prophet - and you barely escaped with your life. This week, you will see what is left when mercy comes unraveled, when grace breaks down. Your sins are many Jack - and I can bring you absolution- but it won't be easy, and it won't feel good. You may not understand what I mean right now... but in all probability - I think that you of all people do. It's too bad for Firechild that he's not as bright.
[Seraph having not changes his expression or tone during the entire interview, calmly walks away leaving the SFJ at a loss for words.]-
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Post by mooseheadjack on Jun 15, 2008 16:14:42 GMT -5
A bloodied Capellan is being bandaged backstage. As the medics tend to his head injury, he cuts a promo to the ever present Ninja Cameraman.
"Viper. So you're upset that I 'took your shot and flushed it down the gutter'? You're upset because I can admit Hardbody Harris was the better wrestler last week?" he shakes his head, "If your shot meant so much to you, Donnie, maybe you should have found a way to beat me. Only, you couldn't. I pinned you clean, Viper, just like Harris did me. The difference between you and me is, I'm man enough to admit that last week, I wasn't good enough to beat Hardbody. The difference between you and me is, being beat just makes me want to get even better. The difference between me and you is, that instead of bitching and moaning about the glory I used to have, I'm going out there and winning the glory for myself, by myself. Those are the differences between us, Viper, and you can count 'em, just like the ref did to you two weeks ago ..." he leans toward the camera, "... 1, 2, 3."
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