Midweek Mayhem (3/20) Live from Salzburg, Austria

[BookerShark]

OOWF Midweek Mayhem
Live from Salzburg, Austria
Wednesday, March 20th 2013


OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Firewoman (c) vs. Awesome Bill from Dawsonville

Onslaught Title Match
Chad Madison (c) vs. Tommy Wilder


Saints of Sinners 3.0 (Moosehead Jack, Stank, & LD Williams) vs. Mai Muyo, Stan Fulton, & Ecosystem
DK Murphy vs. Jeremy Punswick - non title match
Chris Evans vs. Danny Taylor vs. Ghosthead
Matt Folz vs. The Kai
Justin Sane vs. Amazing Jos
Alexis Darling vs. Rabbit Mask



Card Subject to Vienna Fingers Hangover

[BookerShark]

Puns: You're a fucking pussy, Jos! You got pinned on purpose. You got pinned to get away from me, and you fucking know it you coward. Big talking, wise cracking bag of shit fucking pussy. That's all you are. You're not a man. You're a little bitch who gets protected by the boss in Lbcw, and you're a little bitch who gets himself pinned to get away from me. Nothing but a God damn coward. Fuck you Jos.

DK Murphy. So it looks like we'll be meeting again, eh? Round two. The first time you got me. You caught me by surprise. I know I don't deserve a shot at your Intercontinental championship in account of you beating me last time, but maybe this time I can earn one. Unlike that gutter trash Jos, I actually have respect for you. Let's go out there and tear the fucking house down. This time though, I think there may be a bit different of an ending.

And last but not least, fuck you Jos.

[BookerShark]

*There is a pre-St. Patrick's weekend party going on in the Destroyitrium, but SFJ 17 manages to find DK Murphy*

SFJ: DK, you are facing Jeremy Punswick.

DKM: I respect his talent. We will give the fans their money's worth, I am sure of that. May the better man win, and either way I'll buy him a drink in the Destroyitarium after the match.

SFJ: I assume you don't feel that way about Matt Folz, but I'm not sure why you went after him.

DKM: Why I went after him is my business, but I give him some credit for exposing the fraud that is Chris Evans. Between the two of them, in my opinion, Folz is the lesser of two evils, but that is not saying much.

SFJ: And what about the person who grabbed Jaime?

DKM: As far as I know, that person has an agenda, and Jaime was a very small part of it.

[BookerShark]

In the Darling Luxury Suites....Fire studying tape with her hair up and a cup of tea.

LD: Aren't you coming?

FW: Where?

LD: Destroyitarium? St. Patrick's Day? Isn't your last name Quinn?

FW: It was, yeah.

LD: So....

FW: So you want me to go celebrate the life of a man who started the cultural genocide of a beautiful culture on a beautiful island?

LD: Um...

FW: Besides, bagpipes? Kilts? St. Andrews day was November 30.

LD: I know but--

FW: Besides, the cultural stereotypes of the Irish as drunks is annoying. We used to call it "Amatuer Night" at the pub. Although watching fratboys guzzle Guinness as if it were Bud Light IS it's own source of amusement. Don't get me started on the whole penchant for meaningless violence thing.

LD: ....have you MET you and your brother?

FW: Go on, have fun. I'm watching this tape of Awesome Bill.

LD: Wait....seriously?

FW: He's my opponent next week.

LD: I know but...he's.....HIM.

FW: Have fun.

Firewoman turns back toward the television monitor and picks up her clipboard. Alexis stands there with her hands on her hips a minute, shakes her head, and then heads out the door.

[BookerShark]

Madison and Wilder, for the Onslaught Championship. Oh hell-freaking-yeah.

THIS is what I came back for!

A straight up wrestling match. No bullshit, no barbed-wire, scaffolds, Singapore canes, or after-school special drama… Just two wrestlers putting it all out there for the fans, and a championship.

Chad, you can't imagine how stoked I am right now. I've been tag team champion a handful of times. Part of a great team in WcW. Held the DDT Ironman Heavy Metal Championship – mostly by accident – but it ain't the same.

Now I got a shot at a singles championship! And against a guy I can respect, a wrestler I can go full-tilt boogie with. And I'm taking you to the limit man – count on it. Not holding anything back, and if I lose – well, first place or flame out! I mean, this is Salzburg – this place has a HISTORY of extreme! Martin Luther, MOZART – the Punk Rock King of his day – Felix FREAKING Baungartner! Hanger -7! REB BULL BABY!

<Wilder gets a crazy look in his eyes>

THIS IS GONNA FREAKING ROCK!!!!


Get ready everyone – 'cause Wednesday, GRAVITY – IS – OPTIONAL!

[BookerShark]

*Darling Locker Room*

Fire is still watching video of Awesome Bill on the large television while she has a spreadsheet opened on her laptop with headings of Matt Folz, Ghosthead, Danny Taylor that we can see. She's going back and forth between looking at the tv and adding in some notes on the computer when there is a Skype bloop noise and we see...

Incoming Call from Alexander Darling
Accept/Cancel

Fire hits the accept button and before she can say anything after Alexander's face pops up.

Alexander: What the hell are you doing?

Fire: Excuse me?

Alexander: What. Are. You. Doing?

Fire: I'm watching tape. Taking notes. You know the usual, now what the hell is up with your attitude.

Alexander: I'm annoyed.

Fire: With me?

Alexander: No. Yes. No...I don't know. I hate sitting around and watching life happen around me.

Fire: Well based on what I've heard, if you stop being a brat, you'll be back sooner rather than later.

Alexander: Unbelievable. Is nothing private? I'm doing what I can. I can't believe I let you talk me into this.

Fire: Didn't take much convincing. Unfortunately.

Alexander: Besides the point. Now if you want me to stop being a brat, you need to stop being so emo.

Fire: Takes one to know one.

Alexander: Nice. How old are we?

Fire: Besides, I'm not being emo. I'm being studious. I seem to remember you liking this look.

Alexander: Besides the point Fire. Look, stop sulking. Stop brooding. Stop thinking so much.

Fire: But you're the one who told me to think before acting.

Alexander: Yes. Sometimes. You must have missed the rest of what I said. It's about balance. It's not about drowning in one pool. It's about living in both. Knowing when to act. Knowing how to respond. Balance. Yin and Yang.

Fire: But you're not here.

Alexander: No, I'm not. But you are and while you may want me there, you don't need me there Lee. You've always been stronger than even you give yourself credit for. But don't worry, I will be back. So, go out. Meet up with your sisters at the bar. Beat some frat boys up. Have a good night.

Fire: I've got more...

Alexander: No you don't. Go. Now.

Fire: *grumbling* Fine.

Alexander: Now kick the INC out so I can say a proper goodbye.

Fire: Yes, sir.

Fire makes a motion and since the INC's love Fire, they flutter away.

*Fade*

[BookerShark]

*fade-in to Chris Evans*

Evans: Folz, you really don’t learn, do you? Why would you possibly wanna try staying on my bad side? I haven’t tried getting involved in any of your business, mainly due to the fact that I want nothing to do with you anymore, and I don’t want any of your overrated mediocrity rubbing off on me. Now I try to put up with what this company has dealt me, but thanks to you, I now have a loss on my record to Mai Muyo. Mai fucking Muyo.

So Chalkface, Silent Bob, I’ll deal with you two next Wednesday. Right now, I’ve got someone else to take care of.

*Evans picks up a lead pipe off of a nearby table and walks out of the door*

*fade to black*

[BookerShark]

~~~ Chad Madison & Zane Myers stand in front of the OOWF Interview Banner. ~~~

Zane: Wednesday night, live from Salzburg, Austria (Cheap pop) The Fighingest Onslaught Champion of all time steps up to the plate again and puts his Championship on the line. Tommy Wilder, you've been impressive in your return to the OOWF. Got yourself a championship match. We'll find out at MidWeek Mayhem whether or not you Measure Up

Chad: Wait, wait wait.

Zane: What?

Chad: That really doesn't work for me.

Zane: What doesn't? I'm your manager, that's what I'm supposed to do, put your match over.

Chad: Not that, I mean the Measure Up thing.

Zane: But that's our catchphrase. The fans love it when we say that.

Chad: I know, I know, but since I've been on my own, I've been doing some different stuff.

Zane: Like what? You aren't still trying to get Bring Your Hammers over are you? I told you that thing was a dud.

Chad: Not really. I tossed it out there a couple weeks ago versus Amazing Jos, but it didn't go over very well.

Zane: Then what's the problem?

Chad: Well, Measure Up is for Texpress.

Zane: Yeah, and you're part of Texpress.

Chad: But so are you, and it seems weird to use it when you aren't wrestling with me.

Zane: Ok...

Chad: I've been ending a lot of my promos with Mess With The Bull and flashing the 'Horns sign

Zane: Fine. But you say it. I'll feel silly saying that.

Chad: Deal. (looks at the camera again) Once again from the top.

Zane: Wednesday night, live from Salzburg, Austria (Cheap pop) The Fighingest Onslaught Champion of all time steps up to the plate again and puts his Championship on the line. Tommy Wilder, you've been impressive in your return to the OOWF. Got yourself a championship match. At MidWeek Mayhem, you'll find out what happens....

Chad: When You Mess With The Bull (Flashes the 'Horns sign)

Zane: How was that?

Chad: Better. We'll have to work on it.

Zane: I didn't think it was that bad.

Chad: There was a reason I did most of the talking for us.

Zane: Hey, I'm new to this managing thing. Cut me some slack.

~~~ Fade ~~~

[BookerShark]

*There is a kick-off to St. Patrick's day weekend going on in the Destroyitarium, when DDT nudges DKM's elbow and points at the monitor showing OOWF TV.

Mai Muyo is walking through Yet Another Hallway, when she rounds Yet Another Corner, and comes face to face with the masked face of a 6' 5" person in baggy black clothes and a black wrestling mask*

MM: Whoa! Old school wrestling mask!

Masked Person With Deep Female Voice: I love old-school masked wrestlers.

*They exchange fist-bumps*

MM: So I assume you are here to threaten me?

MMWDFV: Sorry, but you mentioned the New Guard.

MM: What about it?

MMWDFV: I realize that some people may have just been misguided, and I will give you the benefit of the doubt, especially if you distance yourself from Stan Fulton. I will not forgive him for what he did.

MM: Scripture tells us "Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord."

MMWDFV: I will have vengeance on Stan Fulton, Matt Folz, and Chris Evans, sayeth me, bitch. I promised someone to spare you, so count your blessings.

*The tall person walks away quickly*

[BookerShark]

The mystery female continues down the hallway, when she's suddenly taken down by a chairshot from Matt Folz. Another shot to her head knocks her out cold.

MF: I don't know what I did to you, nor frankly do I fucking care, but I'm going to break your fucking legs for what you did to Jaime.

Folz sets the chair around the mystery woman's ankle, and is just about to Pilmanize her when The Kai, DK, Danny Taylor, Vic, Ashley and Spencer come running down the hallway.

MF: Oh, so NOW you wear the white hats. So just to clairfy: A woman being kidnapped, then blindfolded and tied up, is perfectly ok. Her boyfriend merely trying to get revenge for said kidnapping is bad, got it. You're hypocrites, every last God damn one of you. This isn't over, you hear me?

Folz backs away as the group helps the mystery woman up and we FADE

[BookerShark]

FADE in back in the same hallway and Mai Muyo, looking confused, makes her way to the Muyo Suites and Convention Center (featuring Synchronicity, a Police cover band in the Velvet Room auditorium) and she walks in the door and has to spit out purple crepe paper streamers. Stan Fulton is up on a ladder hanging these.

MM: “Celebrating Greg Jennings signing with the Vikings?”

SF: “What?! They signed him?”

MM: “You didn’t know?”

SF: “No, I’ve been putting up decorations all day. My iPhone is charging back in my room. I did have OOWF-TV on in here though. So who was it that confronted you in the hallway?”

MM: “No idea. Did you guys take out a girl during the New Guard?”

SF: “Not that I recall. I’ve tried to make amends to everyone I hurt back then, but some will never accept what I did. Some days I can’t either.”

MM: “You’re a changed man, Stan. What’s in the past is in the past. If others cannot let that go, they have the problem, not you.”

SF: “Perhaps. Jesus preached forgiveness his whole life.”

MM: “Jesus was a special person, Stan. We humans can only hope to emulate him on this Earth.”

SF: “Yeah. So anyway, Greg Jennings is a Viking, huh? I have to talk to Matt about this.”

MM: “Oh geez. How ‘bout we leave this until the season starts. That’s what? Fall sometime?”

SF: “Yeah... I’m not excited about the Matt Cassel signing though. I hope we’re getting the Patriots Cassel and not the Chiefs Cassel.”

MM: “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

SF: “Hmm? Oh, nevermind. So we should start talking about our match this week.”

MM: “Did you want to wait for Juni?”

SF: “Naw. He’s better promoting on his own.”

An OOWF banner unfurls in the corner and Fulton and Mai step up under the television lights.

SF: “This week on Midweek Mayhem...”

MM: “LIVE! From Salzburg, Austria!”

A crowd somewhere nearby cheers wildly for the cheap pop.

SF: “Salvation takes on Saints of Sinners Mark II.”

MM: “Did you just name us?”

SF: “Yeah. It was a heat of the moment thing. We’ll have to talk it over with Juni and run it by OOWF Marketing.”

MM: “Well, we’ll work with it for now.”

SF: “Moose, LD Williams and Stank. Three of the most vicious men on this planet.”

MM: “Three first ballot OOWF Hall of Famers.”

SF: “Three of Five.”

MM: “Star Trek reference?”

Fulton shrugs.

MM: “Three bastions of Evil.”

SF: “Two of which will always subjugate themselves to the other.”

MM: “It’s always Moosehead Jack and Company.”

SF: “Stank, LD. You’re Company by the way. You’re Moose’s pit bulls. His lackeys. You’re a means to an end. Moose’s never-ending quest to rid the OOWF of anyone who’s ever slighted him. Moose calls and you come running.”

MM: “Always putting Moose ahead of themselves. Nice spines, guys.”

SF: “Now, Mai, let’s be honest. Stank and LD have nothing to prove when it comes to wrestling. They are the OOWF World Tag Team Champions. They are both former OOWF World Heavyweight Champions. OOWF Grand Slam Champions.”

MM: “But they’ll always be one step behind Moosehead Jack. Their leader. Their Alpha-Dog.”

SF: “Saints of Sinners. You think you’ll just roll right over us. We’re good people and we won’t take the shortcuts you all think is needed to win. But we’re not pushovers either. Juni and I have both been World Heavyweight Champion. Juni is a Grand Slam Champion. And when Juni and I take those titles from you, I’ll be a Grand Slam Champion. Mai is your next Intercontinental Champion.”

Mai blushes.

SF: “The point being we’re not pushovers. We’re not going to lay down and die for you. Bring your best. You’re damn sure we’ll bring our’s.

MM: “Salvation is coming, boys. Time to repent.”

SF: “Enjoy the pain.”

Fulton and Mai step off and the TV lights go off.

MM: “Did you see what Matt did.”

SF: “I did. I don’t blame him either. Drink and Destroy are hypocrites. Jaime has been nothing but sweet to everyone. I hope Matt got those flowers I sent to her. I doubt he’ll be thankful, but that ship has sailed.”

MM: “You never know, Stan. Things like this can bring old friends who’ve drifted apart back together.”

SF: “We’re getting the band back together?”

MM: “Hardly.”

Mai looks up at the streamers again.

MM: “So if the purple streamers aren’t for the Vikings, what are they for?”

SF: “St. Urho’s Day! C’mon, let’s go celebrate Finnish style!”

Mai shakes her head as we FADE.

[BookerShark]

We see Jaime McAllister leaving a phone message.

JM: Stan and Mai, I am just fine, thank you. And I thank you both for the kind words and the flowers, I can't speak for Matt but I really appreciated them. Good luck in your match on Wednesday, but dont underestimate LD and Stank. They're a hell of a lot better than just Moose's lackeys as you put it.

[BookerShark]

**L.D. Williams and Stanley the Duck are in the Hallway of Watching OOWF TV…watching OOWF TV.**

Stanley: “Quack.”

LDW: <sigh> “You know, I was going to say that Salvation, as they call themselves, are an impressive team. I was going to say that Eco is a legend and Stan a legend in the making. I was even going to say the only thing standing between Mai and the main event is time.

was.”

Stanley: “Quack.”

LDW: “Exactly…Lackeys. Really? That’s what you’ve got? The two most decorated wrestlers in the OOWF step in to help a friend - that’s known as loyalty in some parts - and that makes us lackeys.”

Stanley: “Quack.”

LDW: “No, they’re scratching the dirt under the barrel with that one. Look Stan, Mai, I-”

Stanley: “Quack!”

LDW: “Of course we don’t owe them an explanation. But since I’m not the heathen they want me to be, I’m going to give them one anyway. Stank and I took the Saints of Sinners name for one simple reason. We were sick of typing-”

Stanley: “Quack!”

LDW: “-saying ‘Stank and L.D. Williams all the time.”

Stanley: “Quack.”

LDW: “Seriously. Salvation, our reasons for running with Moosehead Jack are none of yours - or anyone else’s - business. Do we have a master plan? Probably. Are we screwing with the world? Absolutely. Does it have any impact on our match this week? Not in the least.

Instead of tossing out insults, perhaps you should focus on preparing to get in the ring with three Six-Pack champions, one of which - me - has done it twice. More than that, every combination of the three of us has held the tag team Championships. One-on-one, we have the advantage. In teamwork, we have the advantage. Wrestling, brawling, technical or violence, we have the advantage.

Bottom line, we are the Saints of Sinners. Stanley?”

Stanley: “Quack.”

LDW: “The duck says it all”

<fade>

[BookerShark]

* A night before St. Patrick's Day party is heating up at the Destroyitarium. Ashley and Spenser have been joined by some local help to tend bar. DK Murphy, having worked in his grandfather's pub, has been helping out as well.*

DKM: Spenser, I tapped new kegs of Guinness and Harp, and we've got lots of bottles of whiskey ready, so this Kerry garsoon needs to get some fresh air.

SD: Alright, we got it for now!

*DKM grabs a hurling stick from behind the bar*

SD: What's that for?

DKM: You never know when you'll find a pick-up hurling match on a Saturday night in Salzburg. Mozart was mad about hurling.

SD: OK, good luck.

*DKM walks out of the Destroyitarium, and pulls out a flask. He takes a sip, and Banned From Everywhere walks nearby.*

Awesome Bill: It's Dropdead Murlock!

DKM: Slainte!

Justin Sane: And people say we talk funny.

*DKM hands Bill the flask. Bill takes a drink, and then passes it to Justin, who drinks and passes to Ellie Mae.*

Awesome Bill: Outstander than hell! What the hell kinda moonshine was that?

DKM: Poitin, from my great-uncle's farm. It'll put hair on your chest.

[BookerShark]

*DK Murphy walks on into Salzburg (because not everything can happen in the Hallway of Random Encounters), when he sees Matt Folz and Jaime walking*

DKM: Oh, it's the horribly injured Jaime McAllister, who never got involved in any physical altercations. Wait, let's ask Lexi Darling. Anyways, she was horribly injured during her abduction. Fortunately, she is now protected by her boyfriend, who is formidable when jumping people from behind with a weapon.

MF: You are just a hypocrite. You are bringing a weapon to attack me.

DKM: No, this was just to even the odds, if needed. I prefer not to attack with a weapon. It also bothers me to attack from behind.

Deep Female Voice: Doesn't bother me much.

*Matt Folz gets struck from behind by a running clothesline, and the tall figure in black is quickly in front of him, and then nails him on the chin with a standing dropkick*

DKM: Decent elevation on the dropkick. By the way, what's your name?

Tall person: El Jobbero 3, and better elevation than you get, dude.

DKM: In your dreams. Watch out, he's getting up.

EJ3: Good.

*El Jobbero 3 picks Matt Folz up and hits a high vertical suplex, then picks him up and hits a Chomp!

DKM (golf clapping): Not bad. A little shaky on the top of the suplex, and the Chomp could have been a little cleaner.

EJ3: You have no clue.

DKM: I do too.

EJ3: Do not!

DKM: Do too!

*GM Selena and OOWF security arrive*

GM Selena: We have enough trouble with local law enforcement when our wrestlers assault each other. I can't have this person attacking the talent.

EJ3: I am one of your wrestlers.

GMS: What?

EJ3; Jobbero 1 and 2 wrestled here a while ago. Our agent signed me up too, but I never got here until now.

GMS: I will look into that, but for now I order all of you to cease and desist!

*Matt Folz has been helped up by Jaime*

MF: Hypocrites! Frauds!

EJ3: Matt, you are the one who likes to break peoples' legs so they can't wrestle. Your girlfriend wasn't hurt at all. Or, are you worried that she might have had too much fun?

[BookerShark]

*The party has picked up steam at the Destroyitarium. "El Jobbero 3" and Dashing Victor Deniro are huddled in a booth near the back. Dangerous Danny Taylor and DK Murphy are sitting at the bar when OOWF-TV shows a replay of the confrontation with Matt Folz. Danny elbows DK, which would injure the average person, but does make DK put down his pint. Danny mimes the moves EJ3 did, then shrugs*

DKM: Don't get ahead of yourself, big fellah.

[BookerShark]

*GM Selena is back in her office, looking at her computer*

GMS: Jobberos, Jobberos...here they are, strictly enhancement talent, typical Rick signings...wait, they did win the tag team titles, then they disappeared...then they faced each other in a dark match that got 5 stars from the internet fanboys but it seems to have been voided fron the OOWF record book.. must have been awesome...maybe I should give this chick a chance.

[BookerShark]

We see Matt Folz back in his hotel suite, holding an icepack to the back of his head as Jaime holds a microphone in front of his face.

MF: Dominic, you and your associate are correct: I have attacked a great number of people from behind, way too numerous to list them all. And yeah, I did take great pleasure in breaking Moreland's legs, in fact I count basically ending his career as the highlight of my time here so far. So I'm not complaining about this attack. What I AM complaining about is Danny, The Kai, Anyone with the last name Darling, and yourself acting like huge hypocrites.

See it's no secret that my feelings regarding all 3 members of the Saints of Sinners and Chris Evans range somewhere between "severe dislike" and "outright loathing", but the one thing I give them all the most credit for is they don't hide what true assholes they really are. All of us make no secret that we dislike the vast majority of the roster and we'll attack anyone at any time, with any weapon. You're just like us, you'll attack anyone at any time, you'll jump people backstage, there's evidence of that. If you'd just come out and fucking admit it, instead of trying to con the fans that you're 100% innocent all the time, I still wouldn't like any of you, but at least I wouldn't have to call you out on your hypocracy.

Now, to this mystery woman who just jumped me. I give you credit, you got the jump on me, and that Chomp hurt like hell. Let's see how you do one on one in the ring with the best wrestler in this company, I'm issuing you an open challenge, any Mayhem, any PPV, any House show you want. I'll wait to hear your response.

FADE

[BookerShark]

<Lexie and Fire are sitting in the suites watching tape when Moose walks in. Lexie jumps to her feet and immediately gets ready for a fight>

Lex: what the FUCK do you want? You have a lot of nerve coming in here

MHJ: You always WERE the feisty one <smirking> I like that

Lex: So fucking help me god Moose, I will END you.....

MHJ: Last I checked, this wasn't fucking private property, it's part of the goddamn arena, which you fuckshits don't own. the door is open, and I will go any goddamn where I fucking want. You don't like it, try to stop me

<Lexie eyes the Darling sledgehammer resting against the wall, Moose sees her look at it and smirks>

MHJ: Just so you know, Stank and LD are both out in the hall, I am sure they would take issue with their tag partner getting a sledgehammer upside the head just days before their match

<Lexie and Moose have a tense staredown, both snarling with rage, Fire finally breaks the tension>

FW: Lex, it's ok. Jack, what do you want

<Moose just turns and gives Fire a hard look, then pulls a bottle of Jameson's and two shot glasses from his jacket>

Lex: You are going to let this asshole come in here and drink on St. Patrick..........oh

<Lexie looks at Moose, then at Fire and realizes things are not going to escalate, she turns to walk away, but before she leaves, she gets in Moose's face>

Lex: You wouldn't have done this if Alexander were here, do it again, and I will fucking cut your heart out

<Moose smirks, and Lexie walks away. Moose pours two shots and Fire gets to her feet, they toast silently, and down a shot, then a second and third. The two stand there for a moment letting the warm whiskey glow take over. Then Moose sets his glass down and turns and heads for the door>

FW: You forgot the bottle....

MHJ: Keep it

<Jack get to the hallway where Stank and LD are waiting, as they walk, there is an INC on them>

MHJ: You know, Stan Fulton, there was a time I had a great deal of respect for you and Eco. You were a man who knew what he wanted, and would not hesitate to do whatever it took to get there. You would take that axe handle upside someone's head in a heartbeat if it meant you won. And Eco, your deeds are legendary. When you saw something you wanted, you took it. It didn't matter who held it, or what you had to do to get it, you did it, and consequences be damned.

Now? Now you both make me fucking sick. You have the fucking BALLS to call LD Williams and Stank lackeys? You have the BALLS to call them my pittbulls? Fuck you. These two men are the ELITE of the OOWF, if you don't like that, that is your problem. But what do you do? You play to those ignorant fucking fans, you run us down, forgetting your own past was every bit as violent and brutal as ours.

But you Stan, suddenly you have found god, and now, everything you do has a higher purpose. You can do whatever the fuck you want because it is God's will, right? It is His plan. Well fuck that. You are a scumbag hypocrite just like those idiot fans in the audience. You haven't changed, you haven't changed at all, only now, instead of owning up to being an asshole, you beg forgiveness, or tell people you are doing the Lord's work. Well fuck you Stan

And you, Eco, <shaking his head> I don't even know where to start with you. What the hell is wrong with you? When you went back to Japan, did the therapists there cut off your balls? You are trying to do the RIGHT thing? Juni Muyo wouldn't know the right thing if it came up and punched him in the face. The only thing you ever did was what benefited you. You took titles at gunpoint, you took over this company, all because it benefited YOU. Don't even fucking tell me you are helping that con man Stan in his quest for the Grand Slam because you feel it is the RIGHT thing to do to make it up to your sister, cause no one with any fucking amount of brain believes that.

And finally, Mai Muyo. <shaking his head again> Poor confused Mai Muyo. You teamed with Stan, and he dropped you in a heartbeat didn't he? What was his line again "you are too good for tag teams, you should be solo" you know what that means? That means he thinks you can't hack it, and he would rather team with your psychotic brother, that's what that means. And speaking of good ol Juni, he BROKE YOUR FUCKING ANKLES, and yet, there you are. Forgiveness really is the magic salve, isn't it? It doesn't matter what someone does to you, if they say they are sorry, you can just forgive them and it all goes away.

Well make no mistake about it Salvation, after what we do to you Wednesday night, there is no amount of forgiveness that will make it better. You cannot forgive broken bones. You three have pissed us the fuck off, and we are going to prove why we are the best the OOWF has ever seen.

Don't think so? Then you haven't fucking been paying attention. Trust me.

<the three walk off and we fade>

[BookerShark]

Fire is sitting at the table in the Darling Luxury Suites when Mai Muyo comes in.

MM: Hi friend!

FW: Mai...

MM: Whatcha doing? I figured you'd be at the Destroyitarium for--

FW: No. I don't celebrate it.

MM: Oh......Are you....coloring?

FW: Mmhmmmmm....

MM: Um.....why?

FW: Well, it's a thing Dr. Freedman wants me to do to try and connect with my childhood and--

MM: Can I see?

She takes one.

FW: Sure, I guess....

MM: Aw, it's a little Fire...and is that supposed to be Moose.

FW: Yeah, it's our backyard, kinda...It's stupid.

MM: If it's stupid, why are you doing it?

FW: Well, it keeps Dr. Freedman from telling the board I'm "refusing to cooperate with my treatment" and thus "not complying with my contract." And...every so often one of these stupid things he has me do helps so I give 'em a try.

MM: Is this one?

FW: Not that I can tell.

MM: There's a big empty spot over here in the yard.

FW: No, it's not empty, Patrick is there.

MM: Oooooh......kay........so it's....Moose helping you do something, but Patrick is always there.....'kay......

Mai gets very serious all of a sudden as she's looking at the picture.

FW: Did you want something, Mai?

Mai goes back to her usually super-happy self

MM: Nope! Just to say hi to my trust friend! Still wearing the bracelet?

Fire slowly holds her arm up.

MM: ME TOO!

FW: Good, well, if that's it I just kinda want to be--

MM: Oh! Okay....You miss Alex, I get--

FW: I do not. He calls twice a day.

MM: Aw, how sweet. Okay, see ya!

Fire takes another piece of paper and a crayon and begins another picture. Mai slyly grabs the picture she just had and is able to sneak it out without Fire noticing. Once she leaves she calls someone on her cellphone.

MM: Hi! It's me! I had a GREAT idea of how we can help!

Her voice fades as she walks down the hall.

[BookerShark]

~~~ At a PHWF Show in Bad Ischl, Austria, We catch the end of the main event, PHWF Champion Ember Blackpool defending against Cowboy Dillon Walker. Blackpool has Walker up for a chokeslam, but Dillon evades it and hits a superkick! He grabs the champ's legs and twists them quickly into the Pick Lock! Blackpool holds out as long as he can......... BUT HE TAPS OUT! Walker collapses to the mat in exhaustion as PHWF ring announcer Krissy Hummer make the declaration. ~~~

KH: Your winner... and NEW PHWF Champion.. Cowboy Dillon Walker!

~~~ Walker shoves her away and grabs the belt..aaaaaand a Mic ~~~

CDW: I TOLD YOU!!! I TOLD EVERYBODY I would be YOUR NEW CHAMPION!!! And unlike some little punk dime store cowboy in the OOWF, I WON'T DUCK ANYBODY!!!

~~~ As if on Cue Big & Rich fires up and through the curtains comes... Zane Myers, talking a drink of Aquafina ~~~

Zane: I'll have you know Chad didn't "Duck" you. Selena changed the match. You have an issue with that, take it up with her.

DW: Oh I know all about how Selena works. I watch MidWeek Mayhem every week. and I KNOW she was just protecting her little fan favorite from an ass whipping. So I took matters into my own hands.

Zane: Yes you did. And as I said months ago, and others have started repeating... Actions Have Consequences.

DW: Oh Yeah? You aren't cleared to get physical, you bum. What are you gonna do about it?

~~~ Zane points behind Walker, who slowly turns around to face Chad Madison, crouched and ready to strike. Chad feigns a superkick, and Walkler bails into the crowd. Chad grabs his dropped mic ~~~

Chad: I could have easily have taken your head off before you knew what hit you. But that's not how I handle things, son. Name the place, name the time, and I'll put my Championship up against yours whenever you want. You made a big mistake last week son. You Messed With The Bull. Now you're gonna Get The Horns

~~~ Chad holds the mic up for the crowd to chant along with the last line, flashes the 'Horns sign and we fade.... ~~~

[BookerShark]

Fire is now sitting watching video of Bill. There's a knock on the door, but she doesn't answer it. The door opens again and it's Ecosystem.

FW: Seriously, does no one care about privacy around here?

Eco: Why aren't you at the Destroy--

FW: Don't celebrate. What do you want?

Eco: Just thought we could chat.

Eco flops down in the chair, leg over the arms.

Eco: Whatcha doin?

FW: Watching tape.

Eco: Oh....I could help? You know like we used...well, not QUITE like we used to...

FW: What do you want?

Eco: Fire...we have something in common.

FW: We do....

Eco: Psychopathic older brothers. You have one, I am one.

FW: 'kay......

Eco: Let me tell you about Mai. She's my sister.

FW: *sigh* I'm aware.

Eco: I would do...anything for her. I recall when she was little....she was so.....I couldn't bear to think of anything bad happening to her. So I did stuff....anyway, now....she's all grown up....I still think of her as that little girl, but she doesn't REALLY need me, ya know? It's kind of......I had the role of protector, of big brother....and now I don't know what my role is.

FW: ....

Eco: ....

FW: ....

Eco: See what I'm saying?

FW: So. You're solution is to usurp her position in a tag team so she doesn't win a belt?

Eco: What? No!!! I'm winning the belts with Stan FOR MAI! You seriously don't understand how older brothers think....

FW: No, I don't....but....

Eco: But....I helped right?

FW: *sigh* Maybe a little....wait....where's Mai?

Eco: Huh?

FW: Tell me...she's....not talking to Moose....

Eco: Maybe, why?

FW: The psychopathic older brother who if he saw a way to avenge our abusive past would take it?

Eco and Fire look at each other then at the same time stand up and run out the door.

****

Meanwhile.....Moose is sitting somewhere with pallets and a single bulb. Mai Muyo comes up, hands behind her back.

MM: Mr. Quinn, can I talk to you?

Moose sees who it is and gives her a smile that should probably be scary, but it's Mai and she doesn't notice. Or doesn't let on.

MHJ: Why, sure, Ms. Muyo....Have a seat.

Moose makes an exaggerated big deal out of showing Mai to an empty pallet, and she takes a seat. She hands him the crayon drawing.

MHJ: What's this?

MM: Fire drew it. It's part of her therapy.

MHJ: *snorting with laughter* Seriously? THAT'S what they're paying him thousands of dollars a week for?

MM: Just look at it. Please?

Moose takes it and looks at it.

MHJ: Big deal. It looks like me and Fire in our backyard.

MM: And Patrick.

MHJ: Where?

MM: Fire said the empty space.

MHJ: Oh...

Moose looks at it again and then crumples it up and throws it to the floor.

MM: Hey!

MHJ: Thanks, Mai. I'll be sure to taunt Fire with this during our match.

MM: Darn it, that is NOT what I wanted.

MHJ: Really. Then what is it you did want.

MM: I wanted you to see....look....I'm a little sister with a ... problematic older brother--

MHJ: Do not EVEN compare me to that criminally insane Kim Jong Il wanna be!

Mai looks like she's going to cry

MM: Please don't insult my brother Mr. Quinn. See, I know he's got faults...big ones. But he's my brother. My big brother. And I have idolized him ever since I was a little girl. I knew he was mixed up with bad guys. But I didn't care. He couldn't do anything wrong in my eyes.

MHJ: So you're delusional. Great.

MM: Sticks and stones, Mr. Quinn. Nothing you say can hurt me. Now, Juni....all he would need to do is look at me wrong and it'd crush me. Anytime he'd say anything mean to me, or about me...and he would, I mean, he's a brother...siblings do that...but it would depress me for weeks. Even though I'd sometimes not let him see it.....

Moose gives Mai an odd look, then shakes it off.

MHJ: I see what you're doing....We...Fire and I...we are NOTHING like--

MM: No? Look at the picture. You're laughing...she's frowning.

MHJ: So what?

MM: So--

Before she can finish Ecosystem and Firewoman burst onto the scene.

E: MAI! Are you okay?

MM: What? Sure, I'm fine. We were just talking, right Mr. Quinn?

MHJ: Huh? Yeah...talking. But we're done now.

MM: Yep. We are. Nice talking to you, Mr. Quinn.

MHJ: *mockingly* Likewise, Ms. Muyo.

Mai leaves with Ecosystem following her, talking a mile a minute about how this wasn't the best idea after all. Fire and Moose are just standing there. Moose bends down and grabs the paper and then hands it to Fire.

MHJ: Mai brought this to me. It's yours.

Fire takes it.

FW: Thanks...it's nothing....it's stupid....

MHJ: Yeah, very...

He sees Firewoman blink.

MHJ: I mean....no....not really stupid at all.

FW: Oh.....yeah, well.....see you in the ring.

MHJ: Yep. I'll be waiting.

[BookerShark]

*Stank walks into the Saints of Sinners locker room where he is greeted by Stanley the Duck.*

Stanley - QUACK!

Stank - No.

Stanley - QUACK! QUACK!

Stank - I said no.

Stanley - QUACK!

Stank - Fuck you.

*LD Williams interrupts.*

LDW - You do realize you're arguing with a duck?

Stank - This is your fault.

LDW - My fault?

Stank - It's your duck.

LDW - You don't have to argue with him.

Stank - And let it win? Hell no.

LDW - He.

Stank - Huh?

LDW - Stanley is a he, obviously.

Stank - Why is that obvious?

LDW - Because his name isn't Hannah, it's Stanley.

Stank - Hannah?... That's random.

LDW - Well I couldn't think of a girl name that rhymed with Stanley and I've been watching this show on HBO Go called Girls, and the main character on that show is named Hannah so naturally I thought Stanley... girl name for duck... Girls... Hannah.

Stank - OOOOOOKAY... and on that bombshell I'm changing the subject. I was just out with Moose, you know... because I'm his lackey.

LDW - Ha!

Stank - Don't laugh. You're his lackey too.

LDW - I still can't believe Stan broke out that old chestnut.

Stank - It was very Alexander Darling of him.

LDW - Alex is a Grand Slam champion. If Stan is going to emulate anyone it might as well be him.

Stank - Perhaps that gimmick will work out better than any of his others.

LDW - That's a reasonable assumption.

Stank - I can be reasonable. That's why I carry this.



LDW - You STILL have the medal Mai gave you?

Stank - Why wouldn't I? I earned it.

LDW - That's nuts.

Stank - You calling me crazy?

LDW - No. I mean your medal. It's nuts... and caramel from what I can tell.

Stank - Whatchootalkinbout LD?

*Stank holds the medal up to eye level where he can see a piece of gold foil has peeled away revealing nuts and caramel peeking out from beneath a thick layer of dark chocolate. Stank struggles before snapping off a piece and popping it in his mouth. He spits it out after failing to bite through.*

Stank - Fuck ME! It's old chocolate at that! I can't believe she would give me a medal made of old crusty chocolate!

LDW - Seems pretty reasonable.

Stank - Shut up you. Mai will PAY for this! ALL of Salvation will PAY!

LDW - They probably did pay for it. I'm sure the going rate for chocolate medals, on this side of the globe, is fairly reasonable.

Stank - Shut up you!

Fade

[BookerShark]

Kai is DANCING~ on the bar with Ashley in the Destroyatorium in a still lingering St. Patrick's Day party. Spencer Darling is watching on with her arms crossed. The others at the party are cheering the pair on. A'isha is probably in the corner watching and drinking some wine.

Kai: *his best, but not very good irish accent* Do ya wanna kiss me Blarney Kielbasa Lass?

Ashley is about to hit her knees when Spencer clears her throat loudly.

Kai: Bar wench, hand the Kai another beer.

Spencer hands Kai another beer. Kai stares at it.

Kai: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA...WHOA, WHOA...WHOA! This beer is talking to the Kai. Like a magical crystal ball.

Kai gazes into the beer.

Kai: It's showing the Kai a vision of the future...

Danny Taylor sits up at the bar. He seems fascinated by this. He holds his hand up to his ear. (No, not like Hulk Hogan. That's lame)

Kai: This magical beer is showing me Matt Folz. Yes, there he is. Man is he ugly.

Kai turns the bottle over and over.

Kai: It shows Matt Folz and all his recent escapades. And his recent promos. Promos he's never mentioned... The Kai.

Kai raises his eyebrow. Taylor shakes his head. Kai finally looks to the camera.

Kai: Matt Folz, this magical beer is saying... IT DOESN'T MATTER! WHAT THIS BEER SAYS! Matt Folz, you wanna go around hitting women. You wanna go around getting REVENGE!~ That's just fine by the Kai. Do your little mind games with people. Focus your attention on other things. 'Cuz this Wednesday, the Kai is gonna take this magical bottle of beer, turn that sonbitch sideways, and stick it STRAIGHT UP! YOUR CANDY ASS!

The party cheers.

Kai: Matt Folz, overlook the Kai all you want. The Kai don't care. The Kai is a non descriminatory ass kicking, pie eating, smacketh downeth layer. You can bring yourself, you can bring your girlfriend, you can bring your spare tire, you can bring your mama, your daddy, your big fat grandpappy! IT DOESN'T MATTER! The Kai will check your roody poo jabroni behind into the Smackdown Aloha Hotel and the Kai WILL BE the WINNER! #WINNING ya monkey poo sniffing, cheese eating, meat beating crazy ass stupid sonbitch! So take a big wiff...

...

...

IF YA SMELLALALALALOW! WHAT THE KAI! IS! SURFIN!

[BookerShark]

<Ellie May is in the ring doing some training when the trainer calls time. She stops, helps the worker to his feet, shakes his hand and leaves the ring grabbing a towel. As she dries off, SFJ01 stops her>

SFJ01: Ellie May, I noticed you were doing some ring work, you participated in one OOWF match already, is this a sign you might want more?

EMFE: Not really, I mean, maybe some day, but I am not ready for that yet. I figgur' if I can learn me some moves, I can help Bill and Justin do some trainin'

<as if on cue, Bill and Justin walk through the door. Bill is wearing an over sized kevlar suit and carries two super size super soakers with him. Justin follows behind him with.......a flame thrower. Of course>

EMFE: WHAT. THE. HELL?

ABFD: We done had this great idear!

EMFE: We?

ABFD: Well.....uh......mostly Justin

<Justin just smiles and nods in the background and looks proud of himself>

EMFE: And what is the idea?

ABFD: Ok, lookitchere, that thar Firewoman.......well, that ol' womern is done made a FIRE! So, we got to thinkin, them firemen they wear suits to protectify themselves from fire, and they carry hoses......so......

EMFE: So.....your strategy was to get in the ring, have Justin shoot at you with a flamethrower, and fight that off with a kevlar.......that's not even kevlar, is that......is that an old tweed suit?

JS: Well, we were GOING to get a kevlar suit, but Bill thought we should spend the money on PCPL supplies instead

ABFD: This ought to do the same darn thing!

EMFE: Ok, so, he is going to shoot a flamethrower at you while you are wearing a TWEED suit, and you are going to fight him off with two super soakers

ABFD: Well hell, it's a done known fact that fire done hatifies water! Theys natural enemies. It's science.

EMFE: <holding her head in her hands> Ok, where do I start.......

JS: Before you start, can I borrow five bucks?

<Ellie May reaches into the pouch on her burlap dress and gives Justin five bucks>

EMFE: Ok, one....tweed will not stop fire. at all. even a little. two.......Justin shooting at you with a flamethrower may be the worst idea you have EVER had.....

ABFD: Worse than the chocolate flavored PCPL?

EMFE: Worse than that

ABFD: Damn

EMFE: third......a super soaker, even TWO super soakers are not going to stop a flame thrower. fourth.....Firewoman is NOT made of fire

ABFD: She's not?

JS: She's not?

EMFE: She's not. Justin.....you JUST wrestled her like a month ago!

JS: I did?

EMFE: You did

JS: Did I win?

EMFE: You did not

JS: Darn.

EMFE: <looking at Bill> Ok, now follow me here Bill. If Justin wrestled Fire. And Justing DIDN'T catch on fire, that means.......

ABFD: That.......uhhh

EMFE: It means she's not.......

ABFD: She's not.........

EMFE: She's not made of......

ABFD: Uh....

EMFE: fire

ABFD: FIRE? WHERE! OH NO! FIRE! FIRE! WE GOTTA GET THE PCPL! COME ON JUSTIN!

<Justin and Bill take off out of the gym, Ellie May just stands there and shakes her head. The whole time SFJ01 has been standing there watching this>

SFJ01: How do you do it?

EMFE: I drink heavily

SFJ01: I know a bar around the corner, wanna have a drink?

EMFE: Can't

SFJ01: Banned from there?

EMFE: We are <crowd sings along> BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE

<from a distance we hear a voice>

V: HOT DAMN! I LOVE WHEN SHE DOES THAT! JUSTIN! GRAB THAT CASE A PCLP!

<fade>